Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available - take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

People share subtle, tell-tale signs that someone's genuinely a good person

The "shopping cart theory" still lives.

shopping cart theory, returning shopping cart, signs someone is a good person

Photo credit: Canva

Returning a shopping cart can be one subtle sign of a good person.

The world is filled with genuinely good people who care about their fellow human beings and always try to do the kind or honorable thing. Unfortunately, there are also some charlatans out there who may try to convince people they are good when they're not. Grifters, con men, and narcissists can pretend to be kind, loving, or scrupulous, but it's all in service of some selfish motive. So how can you tell the difference?

It's not always clear, especially at first, but there are some subtle indicators that a person's virtues are real and sincere. People shared the tell-tale signs that tell them a person is genuinely good, and it's a helpful list to run through if you find yourself questioning someone's true character.

from AskReddit

They can admit weakness and apologize

"They’re willing to admit when they were wrong or when they don’t know something."

"They authentically apologize when they are wrong or when they make a mistake without anyone asking them to. They can let go of ego for the sake of what is right. On the opposite side of the same coin, they have a forgiving nature."

"They hold themselves accountable for their actions. They apologize and try to make amends. Are willing to learn from their mistakes and misconceptions."

They do the right thing when it's not convenient

"One of my favorite sayings is 'Principles only mean something if you stand up for them when it’s inconvenient.' When people stand up for what’s right at a time when it isn’t convenient, that’s a good person."

"A favorite of mine as well. I’ve always heard it as 'Values aren’t values until they cost you something.'"

"It's easy to be a good person when things are easy. A true good person will remain good when they are angry, or scared, etc. If your morals evaporate under stress, you don't actually have morals."

kindness, helpfulness, good people, good person Going out of your way to be kind is a sign of a good person.Photo credit: Canva

They're kind when they don't have to be

"They’re polite to people they have authority over."

"This is the one for me. Kind leaders are everything. Imagine if the leaders of the free world operated on this premise."

"They treat people that cannot do anything for them very well."

They speak well of others when they're not around to hear it

"Complimenting people behind their back."

"This is actually big. It’s super easy to gossip about someone behind their back but it’s always refreshing when people just have nice things to say about others even when they aren’t there."

"Or defending someone when someone is gossiping behind their back!"

i like him good guy GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphy

They are selflessly and anonymously kind

"They do good things for others without expecting something in return."

"And may I add that they do it without advertising their good deed, nothing on the internet, news paper, discussion with friends. They do it quietly and humbly."

"They do something kind without telling anyone else about it."

They include those who might feel left out

"They fill you in / include you in an existing convo that you’ve just joined."

"They are the one in the group who stops and waits for you while you to tie your shoe or they hold the door as the rest of the group keeps moving."

"When you say something that immediately gets talked over by the rest of the group or wasn't heard, and they make it a point to stop and add on to/ask what you said."

— (@)

They return shopping carts

"They always put their shopping carts away."

"Returning your shopping cart. There are no laws that say you have to, & there’s no rewards for doing it either, it’s purely an act of selflessness to benefit the people who have to work at the store & take care of the parking lots/carts."

"Shopping cart theory! Is it polite to return the cart? Does it ease the workload of a stranger? Yes! Are we punished if we don't? No! It's a great litmus test for social responsibility."

Are these diehard rules for what makes a good person? No. Are there other things that could be added to this list? Yes. Can animals always tell if a person is good? Maybe. (People were split on that one, mainly because if an animal was mistreated by someone they may naturally fear or dislike a person who looks like their abuser. No fault of the person themselves.) However, this list can give us some clues about people's character and maybe even help us take a look in the mirror and assess our own.

From Your Site Articles

good people

Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandma Baby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couch A stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundry A stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

From Your Site Articles

boomers

Pop Culture

25 long-forgotten everyday items that only your grandparents would recognize

We're not talking rotary phones. These legit feel like they're from another world.

Photo credit: Canva

Get ready to go full throttle down memory lane.

Time passes and things change, not just in the broad collective strokes of how we approach health, family, love, and work, but even in how we navigate day-to-day life. Especially when it comes to convenience. Objects that seemed cutting edge back in the day now seem like arduous relics. Seriously, can you imagine going back to a time when Alexa didn’t play your morning jams and read off our to-do list for the day? No thank you!

On that note, someone recently asked, "What were some everyday objects from your youth or your parents/grandparents’ youth that an adult today wouldn’t know about?” Elaborating further, they added, “I’m not talking about a rotary telephone or the milk man coming by the door. I’m talking about ubiquitous things no one can even remember.”

While answers varied, one prevailing theme was the amount of effort required by so many of these everyday objects. And yet, that was their charm—forcing folks to be a bit more in the moment. Similarly, just the way some things were made to last longer, have better quality, etc. is a stark contrast to the mass production single-use mentality we have now. Even still, I think some of these items we’re more than glad to be rid of (see # 3)

Without further ado, here are some of those long gone objects:

1. "Mascara that came in a little box, like eyeshadow. There was also a little brush that came with it."

@vuloxvanity Swatching Cake Mascara 👩🏻🎨#vintagemakeup #cakemascara #1920smakeup #makeuphistory #creatorsearchinsights ♬ In A Sentimental Mood - 1940s Music

We have a small favor to ask of you

People share subtle, tell-tale signs that someone's genuinely a good person

The "shopping cart theory" still lives.

They can admit weakness and apologize

They do the right thing when it's not convenient

They're kind when they don't have to be

They speak well of others when they're not around to hear it

They are selflessly and anonymously kind

They include those who might feel left out

They return shopping carts

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

We're not talking rotary phones. These legit feel like they're from another world.

1. "Mascara that came in a little box, like eyeshadow. There was also a little brush that came with it."

2. "Cream rinse. After shampooing, you'd put a capful of cream rinse in a glass of water and pour the whole thing over your hair to detangle. That was before we had conditioners."

3. "Belted maxi pads."

4. "Sardine cans that came with a key to open them."

5. "TVs or radios that you had to wait for them to 'warm up' for a few seconds before they worked. And who remembers color bars'? When the station would just show colored bars for a minute to give you time to adjust the color on your set?"

6. "A booklet to keep S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip Stamps."

7. “Clamp-on steel kids’ roller skates.”

9. "The first time Catholic girls were allowed to wear 'stockings' was during their Confirmation. It was a rite of passage, and mine was in 1968. The stockings were scratchy, thigh-high things held up by these weird garter belts with rubbery clips."

10. "Paregoric. It was given to us kids who had diarrhea. It was opium! You won't see that in medicine cabinets anymore."

11. "Darning needles and darning yarn. In the 1960s (more or less), it was still worthwhile to darn socks. But by the 1980s, socks were cheap enough that darning was mostly a thing of the past. Maybe it's just me, though. Does anyone still darn socks?"

12. "A mangle ironing machine."

14. "The little plastic piece you put in the hole on a 45 record that would make it fit and play on the record player."

15. "A tabletop clamp-on meat grinder."

16. "Colored toilet paper."

17. "My grandmother had a telephone desk, similar to a school desk. It had a chair and a small table where the large, heavy rotary desk phone sat, and on the side was a wire rack for the directory and Yellow Pages."

18. "McDonald's french fries used to be cooked in beef tallow. The taste was phenomenally good and nothing like the bland ones of today."

19. "Crank handles to start tractors. There were no push buttons back then."

20. "Toothpaste came in a can! It looked like a 1930s-era whiskey flask and contained pumice powder and flavoring. You'd open the lid, wet your toothbrush, rub it in the powder, and brush your teeth. Then, you'd just repeat the processes as needed."

21.“The little triangle window on a car we called the 'windbreaker'--you had to open that so you could put your window down while driving so there wasn't as much noise. A/C was not standard. Also, curb indicators on cars.”

22.“Pantyhose in eggs.”

23. “One thing that was often seen back in my youth and for a year I also had them but I haven't seen for a couple of decades are metal heel plates (also known as ‘taps’) to prevent boot and shoe heels from wearing down.

24. “Hershey's chocolate bars used to come in foil. Peeling it off was satisfying.”

25. “Jelly-jar drinking glasses with cartoon characters on them.”

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

"I never considered myself a TV star. I always thought I was a neighbor who just came in for a visit."

"There will come a day when you’re not around and curiosity or peer pressure will get the best of them."