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Someone asked what they should know about having a cat. Thousands of people offered input.

There's so much more we know about cats now than previous generations did.

gray cat with chin being scratched by a person's finger

Cat ownership is a delightful but serious commitment.

Anyone who's had a cat knows how bringing a feline friend into your life makes a huge impact in both positive and not-so-positive ways. Our pet cats might bring us great delight, but they also come with some quirks, oddities and other things people who are thinking about getting a cat should prepare for.

That's why when someone asked, "What does one need to know before getting a cat?" on Reddit, thousands of cat owners chimed in with information and advice.

In generations past, cat were seen as largely self-sufficient. That's still somewhat true in comparison to dogs, but we've learned a lot more about cats that has changed (and improved) the way cat owners care for their kitties.

Here are the main things people say those considering getting a cat should know before committing:


Cats come as they are

People often joke about how their cats are oddballs, but it's a universal truth. Cats are quirky. If you've never had a cat and think they don't have much personality, you're entirely mistaken.

"Every cat has its own personality. It might not match your expectation."

"Every cat is at least a bit of a psychopath."

"Cats are the best pets for people with control issues... Because nothing is going to give you non stop lessons in something you can't control like a cat."

"That their character is complete luck of the draw. You might get one who really enjoys humans...or one who hates them. Or one who only wants to be near them but not touched. Or one that will crawl on your lap every change it gets. You do not know what kind of cat you'll get. If you're willing to take that gamble....go ahead."

"Cats have much stronger personalities than dogs do and often times can't be trained out of that personality the way dogs can. If you get a kitten, it's the luck of the draw whether you get a cat that's very cuddly and affectionate or one that's standoffish and doesn't like to be pet. Even two cats who are raised identically together can be wildly different in how receptive they are to people. If you have a specific idea of what you want out of a cat, such as if you like a lap cat who likes to go to bed with you, you should look into rescuing adult cats who already have their personalities developed."

Kittens choose violence

If you think kittens are cute and cuddly, you couldn't be more right. But also, they have razor blades on their feet and they will tear your extremities apart with them.

"As babies they sometimes like violence."

kittens playingKittens are cute, but their tiny claws and teeth are SHARP.Photo credit: Canva

"Yeah, they start off cute and then bam—you're covered in scratches, and it’s all because the sock looked at them wrong."

"They come with factory installed murder paws."

"They all like violence. You can never anticipate when they will choose violence."

"Getting a second kitten will help with this!! They can be violent with each other and teach each other boundaries, rather than having one lonely violent kitten constantly slicing up your hands and feet."

Cats like routine

For creatures who seem so aloof, cats are surprisingly very routine-oriented and don't like change much. Moving around furniture, going out of town or changing their feeding schedule can throw them off and cause stress.

"Cats are big fans of routines. They know when breakfast/dinner is, when playtime is and when you get home. If their routine is disrupted and these things happen sooner or later than they’re used to, they may get upset.

They’re also not fans of change in their environment. A new person or pet moving in, furniture being rearranged, new food, new litter, etc. can all unsettle a cat, make them feel unsafe and drive them to hide."

"Don't make abrupt changes. It is recommended that all changes should be subtle and in little steps. If you're going to move its bowl, or the litter box, it is advised to do it slowly. They don't react well to abrupt changes. Moving to another house or city can be really traumatic, leaving them stressed out for months."

cat in a boxChanges like moving can be hard on cats.Photo credit: Canva

Cats like cleanliness—but also chaos

Cats are naturally clean, barring any health or disability issues. They don't need to be bathed like dogs, and oddly their fur tends to smell really good. But they also want you to keep their litter box clean and will find ways to let you know if you are falling short on that front.

Oh, and they also like to make messes for fun, like total hypocrites.

"Keep the litterbox clean. They don't like it dirty. Cats like cleaniness."

"If you keep the litter box clean, most cats (of course, there are always exceptions) will vastly prefer that to any other location."

"If you don't keep their litter box in pristine, shiny, brand new condition, they'll just shit on the floor right in front of it."

"They don’t need to be bathed. They are self cleaning!"

"If you leave a glass of water unattended, that glass will be in a broken puddle on the floor when you come back."

"Mine would always wait for me to come back in view, then look me in the eye as she knocked the glass onto the floor."

Cats can be taken out by a bouquet

This one may come a surprise to many people, but some plants, especially certain flowers, are highly toxic to cats. And some of them can't help but chew on plants, which makes displaying flowers in your home a challenge. So expect a lot of "Is XYZ plant toxic to cats?" Google searches.

"Many ordinary house plants can kill your cat. Same with bouquets of flowers. Lilies are a big one but there are lots of others. Check all existing plants in your house before the cat comes home, don’t let new plants in without checking them."

"If you have houseplants, be prepared to part with any that are toxic to the cat. Some will take the risk, but the cats welfare is higher priority than you liking interior decor - which goes for anything breakable or edible also."

"Lilies are the real danger. Some lily-like flowers, such as alstroemeria (Peruvian lily), are not true lilies, so they are not as problematic. But true lilies can cause kidney failure in cats."

cat with flowersSome flowers can be deadly for cats.Photo credit: Canva

"My coworkers cat is in end stage renal failure from being near lilies."

"Plants can be a big risk; especially lily’s, but many common house plants are toxic."

Cats hide their suffering

Cat communicate in all kinds of way—meowing, purring, growling, hissing, ekekekek-ing and more—but they don't tend to let you know when they're in pain or discomfort. Stoic little buggers, so regular vet checkups and watching for subtle behavioral changes are really important.

"They are really good at hiding symptoms. Make sure to get them checked regularly. If the cat starts showing symptoms of a disease, it's probably already too late to fix."

"They do not let you know when something is wrong with them…or, I should say, they do in extremely subtle ways.

Dogs usually make it pretty obvious when something isn’t right with them. With cats; if you’re not paying attention - you won’t know until it’s bad."

"Sometimes 'behavioral' issues like hiding/going to the bathroom outside the litter box are sign of health issues!"

Cats need their claws

Some people declaw cats to try to save their furniture, but it's not a harmless procedure. Major vet organizations recommend against it, providing alternatives for discouraging problematic clawing behavior.

"Do not declaw your cat. Ever. That's horribly painful and is the equivalent of cutting off the first joint of all your fingers."

"If you intend on declawing a cat, do NOT get a cat."

"This so much. A friend of mine was thinking of getting her 1 year old kitten declawed and I had to tell her what they do and she was appalled. She has since trained him to use his scratching post and not her couch and she occasionally trims them or has the vet do it."

orange kitten having claws trimmedTrimming, yes. Declawing, no. Photo credit: Canva

"Trim your little kitten's claws regularly, even if all you take off is a hairsbreadth. Gets them used to having their paws handled that way."

Cats often do better in pairs

Cats can be solitary, but they often prefer to have furry friends of their own. Paired cats will often play together, groom one another and provide an outlet for their "zoomy" energy.

"They typically do well in pairs! People don’t often think they need companionship but they do."

"Consider getting two. Hear me out. As kittens, two are far less work for the human because they can play with and entertain each other, and they will naturally teach each other boundaries like how to not bite or scratch too hard. As adults, I would not say it’s a huge increase in work or cost as far as litter box and food goes.

Cats are naturally very social animals, despite pop culture representing otherwise. Some cats choose to be solitary, some cats have simply adapted to solitude because they have never had a friend. Two cats are truly better than one."

Cats should be indoors

People have differing opinions on this one, but it's generally recommended that cats be kept indoors for their own well-being as well as the safety of wildlife. Cats are predators pose a danger to bird populations especially.
"Please consider making your cat an indoor cat. Outdoor cats have a higher death rate than indoor cats, which is pretty self explanatory as there is a much higher rate of traffic accidents, attacks by other animals, getting lost/stuck places. It’s not fair on your cat, bordering on neglect, to just let it run around unsupervised outside all day.

The other thing to say about outdoor cats is how devastating they are for the local ecology. They hunt for fun, and each cat will be responsible for the deaths of probably hundreds of small birds, rodents, insects and lizards every year. Studies have shown that domestic cats have been directly responsible for the extinction of many species.

Outdoor cats are not a good idea for us, you, and them…"

"One important thing to remember is that cats that live exclusively indoors are healthier and live longer. Cats that roam are at risk of being killed by cars and dogs, and injured by getting into fights with other cats, or contracting illnesses from other cats (feline AIDS). Infection from another cats claws in a fight can lead to your cat being maimed or even dying. Roaming cats also kill a huge amount of wildlife, and it's estimated that roaming pet cats are responsible for the deaths of a billion native species in Australia every year."

"Keep your cat indoors. Cats that roam have an average life expectancy of 2-5 years due to cars, dogs, poisons, other cats, weather, wild animals, disease.... Indoor cats can live 15-20 years, depending on how dedicated their owner is to regular vaccinations and checkups, quality food and mental, social and physical stimulation."

cat on a person's lapCats can be sweet companions.Photo credit: Canva

Cats are a commitment

Indoor cat live a long time, so if you're starting with a kitten, be prepared for the long haul. But also, be prepared to be attached to your kitty and miss them dearly when they're gone.

"It’s a commitment of 12-20 years. Make sure you are:

  1. Not allergic
  2. Financially able to provide food and medical care (I recommend getting pet insurance, its saved my cats lives several times)
  3. Allowed to have pets where you live."

"It can be a 15 - to 20-year commitment. They are also the best companion ever."

"Yeah, nobody told me when I was 19 that this cat would be alive when I was 40!"

"And at the end you'll wish it was longer."

"Your cat(s) will become very important to you so make sure you’re ready for some emotional attachment because even when they piss you off, they are now your master and you must provide them the attention and love they require, whatever that entails."

That's basically cat ownership wrapped up in a nutshell.


A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

All screenshots from @lakynbowman on TikTok.

It was Grandma’s 71st birthday, and granddaughter Lakyn Bowman came up with the cutest, cleverest and most thoughtful way to honor the occasion.

Bowman (@lakynbowman) shared in a TikTok video that after going through old photos, she realized just how much they both looked alike. And so, to thank grandma for passing down the good genes, she decided to recreate each signature look. After a few rounds with a curling iron, some pale blue eyeshadow, and throwing on some charming floral prints (plus some filter wizardry to give the pics that retro look) the resemblance is just uncanny.

People were delighted to see such a loving tribute. The video quickly racked up over 8 million views, with more than a few comments talking about how emotional the tribute made them. Can’t say I blame 'em.

Screenshot of a comment

Such a heartwarming tribute obviously moved some to tears.

TikTok

But how did grandma feel about it? Well, in a follow-up video, we see a genuine ear-to-ear smile. Suffice it to say, the idea was a hit.

As one person wrote to Bowman, “you’ll never be able to top this gift.”

It certainly helps that Bowman is vintage savvy. She even helps others find amazing secondhand items through her company Nine Oh Six. So getting the clothes and accessories was a piece of old-fashioned pineapple upside-down cake. And the results were just as sweet. Take a look below:

@lakynbowman Happy birthday, Grandma! Thanks for the good genes. 💕 #recreate#photoshoot #birthdayphotoshoot #vintage #grandma ♬ What Once Was - Her's
@lakynbowman

Reply to @katemason06 The audio didn’t save. 😭 But here’s her reaction. I love her so much! 💕

These videos are not only an instant dash of joy, it’s also a heartwarming reminder that our elders provide the prologue to our life stories. Honoring them can be as simple or creative as we want them to be, but be sure to include them. As we can see with this grandma-granddaughter duo, it’ll mean the world to them.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

Man praised for not switching seats with dad traveling with daughter

Airlines charge for everything but breathing nowadays so people tend to be protective of their seat assignments. They picked them with their own hands with their needs and preferences in mind before paying the extra money to confirm the seating. Choosing your own seat can range from $5-$80 extra per ticket depending on where in the cabin you choose to sit, barring first class options.

It's for this reason that people aren't keen on trading their seats with someone who chose to let the airline auto-assign a seat for them. This doesn't stop people from asking unsuspecting fellow travelers to swap seats with them, likely relying on the social pressure of the situation to coax a yes. But one man refused to be swayed, even when the other passenger points out that he would like to sit next to his minor daughter which may have been enough to encourage others to oblige the request.

The passenger who was being asked to move had already paid additional money to sit in an aisle seat he explains, "I always book an aisle seat. My company allows me to add the small surcharge for an aisle seat (it was $18). I sat early and this guy comes with his daughter. His daughter had the middle seat next to me. He had another middle seat elsewhere. He asked to switch with me. I said I would if he had an aisle seat. He said he has a middle seat."

Season 9 Ugh GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy

The middle seat is typically the least desirable seat due to being stuck between two other passengers, no designated armrest and nothing to comfortably lean your head on should you fall asleep. Waking up only to realize you've been asleep on a stranger's shoulder can make for an awkward interaction, so there's no surprise the man didn't want to trade seats with the dad on those details alone. But the man didn't choose the aisle seat because he was afraid of drooling on the shoulder of a fellow passenger.

"I said sorry, I am a big guy (6 feet, 260+ pounds), I am [un]comfortable in middle seat. It's a 4.5 hour flight," the befuddled passenger shares before adding. "I explained I am physically uncomfortable in the middle. The aisle gives me more room."

Giphy

One might think the interaction would end there but it didn't. According to the six-foot-tall man, the dad then involved a flight attendant to encourage him to give up his seat so the dad could sit next to his child. But the man continued to refuse the dad's request which resulted in the dad having to sit in his original seat and the teenage girl being seated next to the original man. He had no desire to be uncomfortable for a fairly long flight and while he was expecting for people to disagree with his actions, they were overwhelmingly on his side.

"You paid extra for that aisle seat, and it’s your comfort on a long flight. The guy should've booked better seats if he wanted to sit next to his daughter. Plus, it’s not your job to accommodate his poor planning," one person writes.

No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy

"If you want to sit together, pay for the seats. Good for you, people like that need to learn they cant have their cake and eat it too," someone else says.

"I hate it when a FA asks you to move one you've already said no. They should stand by their company who sold you the seat and reiterate that to the person asking," another chimes in.

pushing air travel GIFGiphy

"I’ve been in the situation traveling, when my kids were small and flights were canceled, etc. that we were seated separately. When you REALLY do NEED compassion, people are generally OK with it and they are understanding and will likely move if able. I’ve also raised my kids to be independent and as teenagers they would have been just fine. In a case where it really is a need (like a special needs teen), the airline owes its passengers some sort of a solution like upgrading an inconvenienced traveller," someone else adds.

The man does admit that maybe the dad assumed the solo traveler would be inappropriate with his daughter saying, "Maybe he thought I was some creeper? I AM NOT. I popped a prescription muscle relaxer, put on relaxing music on my earphones and zoned out." In the end the man did not give up his seat and the teen girl and her father were both fine sitting in the seats assigned to them.

Life is bigger than the U.S.!

Dreaming about moving to another country and starting over is no longer just a dream for some people. A growing number of millennial expats are finding their American dream in another country. And they're taking to social media to invite us to follow their journeys. Living comfortably in America is merely a dream for most people, so seeing expats doing it in other countries is inspiring more people than ever to seek a better life than they can achieve in the United States elsewhere.

Influencer and educator Olumide Gbenro has made a life in Bali that would be unattainable to most Americans. When Gbenro was around 13, his family immigrated to Columbus, Ohio after living in London. Gberno spent the first six years of his life in his home country of Nigeria, so relocating was not new to him. Before deciding to leave it all behind as an adult, Olumide was on a different path. A path his parents had set before him, but one he didn't want to follow.

In 2016, Gberno graduated with two master’s degrees from San Diego State University. One master’s was in epidemiology and the other in behavioral sciences. The new graduate was primed to go on for his PhD just as his parents wanted, but enrolling in a PhD program meant traveling the world would be off the table and the soon to be expat wasn’t ready to give up on it. The choice then became to become a doctor or travel, and since traveling was in his blood it was a no-brainer.

Gberno told CNBC Make It, “All of my life, I just followed the rules, whether it was from my parents, religion or society,” he says. “But deep down I knew that if I took the position in the PhD program, I could never go back, I could never travel abroad...I’d be stuck to a lab, so I decided to say ‘no.’” Shortly after coming to the conclusion that a PhD wasn’t for him, he packed up his belongings and headed out of the country.

Olumide took some time in a few other locations before settling in Bali; the new expat first stopped in Berlin on a three month tourist visa, staying in hostels and couch surfing at friends' houses. Gberno didn’t have much savings when he left America, so not working wasn’t an option, and eventually he struck success with his online business in social media marketing. He was able to grow his Instagram following fairly quickly by posting photos of his adventures and dance videos. With a larger following, he started reaching out to other creators and businesses offering to help improve their social media strategy for the small fee of $250. Eventually, it enabled him to turn it into a lucrative business that helps sustain his lifestyle.

After Olumide’s three months in Berlin were up, he traveled to Mexico and then back to San Diego where he launched his business, Olumide Gbenro PR & Brand Monetization, in 2018. While scrolling through Instagram he saw a post from a friend visiting Bali at the time. The scenery appealed to him, so he decided to go. After many flights back and forth to Singapore and Malaysia to extend his visa 30 days at a time, he was granted an investors visa.

Gberno earns about $140,000 a year and his biggest expense is his rent and utilities which total $1,010 a month. He spends about $600 a month on take out and eating at restaurants and continues to travel at least once a month. Gberno told CNBC “I’m probably spending about the same amount of money I would each month if I was living in San Diego, but my quality of living is much higher,” he says. “I’m living a life of luxury.”

These expats make living abroad look like a feasible goal and for some it is. Be warned that following these adventurous souls on social media may make you want to pack a few bags and never look back.


This article originally appeared three years ago.