upworthy
Wellness

After a woman was shamed by her nurse over her sexual history, she shared her story to help protect other vulnerable women

After a woman was shamed by her nurse over her sexual history, she shared her story to help protect other vulnerable women

In today's installment of the perils of being a woman, a 21-year-old woman shared her experience being "slut-shamed" by her nurse practitioner during a visit to urgent care for an STD check.

The woman recently had sex with someone she had only just met, and it was her first time hooking up with someone she had not "developed deep connections with."

Since this was her first ever one-night-stand, when she noticed some worrisome symptoms in her nether-regions (sorry for writing nether-regions, now twice), she got concerned.

I've [F21] recently encountered a new sexual partner. We used a condom, but after words I felt a little uneasy as to this was the first time I have ever hooked up with someone I just met. My previous sexual partners have all been someone I have developed deep connections with in some kind of way. While condoms greatly reduce the chance of contracting a STI, it cannot provide ABSOLUTE protection. A few days ago, I noticed my discharge changed to a white substance that's different from my normal discharge and the first thing that came to my head was an STD. I have never had one before and I have no idea the symptoms, but an STD was all I could think about.

So she decided to go to urgent care to find out what was up.

At the clinic, her nurse practitioner asked her a series of questions about her sexual history, which she answered honestly.

I went to an urgent care because I wanted to see if there was maybe a simpler answer to this problem (yeast infection or UTI) and if not, I wanted to send my urine off for an STD screening. My doctor asked me a series of questions (when did you become sexually active, when was your last sexual partner, how many sexual partners, etc.) , all of which I was up front and honest about so she could better treat me.

The woman was diagnosed with a yeast infection and scheduled for an STD test, but then just as she was leaving, things got really, really uncomfortable.

The nurse practitioner called her back in to the office and then proceeded to lecture her for her sexual choices, instructing her to "guard and protect her character." WTF?!

It came time for her to make a diagnosis and tell me the best course of action. She says based on my symptoms, I am showing hallmark signs of a yeast infection, but she will send my urine off for a culture and STD screen along with a swob from my vagina so she can tell what type of yeast is growing down there.
As I'm about to get my keys and stand up to walk out, she says "Dear, will you sit down for just another moment." I sat back down and looked up at her, curious as to what she wanted to talk about. "With all of that being said, you're 21 years old, you really need to guard and protect your character,". I looked at her like "what the fuck" and she continued "well you know, guys get to have sex all they want and nothing bad comes out of it for them but you know us as women we can't be doing that as much because we have to protect our character,". At this point, I was pretty fucking angry. You could tell by my silence and the way my lips were pressed together. I thought that maybe it couldn't get any worse, then she proceeded to say "you're going to want to have kids one day, and the way you're living your life now could really hurt you and your chances of having a kid with a good man,".


The woman, understandably, was furious and wants to report the nurse practicioner to HR for her unprofessional and straight-up offensive line of questioning.

So she took to Reddit to ask the infamous "Am I The A**hole?" forum to weigh in on whether she would be doing the right thing to report this woman to HR.

I was open and honest with this woman in hopes that it would help her better treat me and in turn I get slut shamed for it? I posted this in a forum about sexual education and I was getting advice to report her to HR. I don't want to go after anybody's job, but I don't want other women to have to go through this same thing just for having sex.
Will I be the asshole if I report her to HR or should I leave it alone?


She also added that she was "in too much shock" at the time to respond, and simply said "thanks" and left.

Edit: For everybody asking, I was literally in too much shock to say anything to her at the moment. I just kind of stared at her because I immediately felt embarrassed and regretted the information I shared with her so openly. So after a couple of seconds she said "I appreciate your openness and honesty tho" (like that mattered after anything she just said 😩) and opened the door for me to leave so I just said "thanks" and left. I was too embarrassed and in too much shock to say anything in the moment. Trust me, I wish I would have but I wasn't even thinking about going off on her. I was just embarrassed.
Also, she was a nurse practitioner. I know a couple of times I referred to her as a doctor, but her official title was NP.


Redditors weighed in, and overall most people are encouraging her to report the woman to HR, saying she would in no way be an a**hole for doing this.

inevitablegirlie says:

NTA. 150% report her to HR. Do it right now. This is rude, regressive, none of her business and could actually deter women from getting care. You'll be doing yourself and every other woman who walks through those doors a kindness.

And Excolo_Veritas, who is married to a doctor, concurs:


Agreed, this is insane. My wife is a doctor and would be appalled to hear if a colleague did this. There is never supposed to be judgement in medicine, because exactly as you said, it could cause patients to be less open in the future. They are not the police, or the morality police. They treat you, they're there to make you better. Sure, they may recommend to stay away from unsafe practices such as unprotected sex, but it's not supposed to be judgement. Just medically relevant information and best practices. This was ABSOLUTELY judgement, and bullshit. OP please report her! I guarantee she's done this to other women, and I guarantee some of them have thought twice about seeking treatment in the future because of it. It should be stopped

And dancer29, who is a nurse, writes:

Nurse here. What she was doing was not okay. We all take paths to take care of our patients ethically and treat them with care. We might recommend to use a condom but as you stated you were doing that. If you were my patient I would actually applauded you for having safe sex and still coming in just to make sure. It's not okay to push your morals on someone else. Report the fuck out of her. NTA

Many people are pointing out that this kind of behavior from a nurse practicioner is not only rude and unprofessional but straight up dangerous, because it could prevent women from being honest about their sexual histories.The woman followed up with an update on her situation. She took everyone's advice and called the clinic to report the woman.

She ended up speaking to the manager of the clinic and explained the whole situation, and how it could put other women at risk.

I called the urgent care and asked to speak with either a patient advocate or NP supervisor. They didn't have a patient advocate and the doctor overseeing the NPs was out, so they let me talk to the manager of the clinic.
First and foremost, I explained to the manager that I in no means wanted any disciplinary action taken. I did not want her to lose her job, but maybe be given a talk or PIP to improve her service and not use personal beliefs or judgment when taking care of patients.
I explained to her everything that happened and before I could even say who the NP was, she knew EXACTLY who I was talking about...which confirmed that she's most likely been this way towards other patients previously.
I then explained how I confided in her and that I came into the office for medical advice and not personal judgment and her using my openness to pass judgment has made me weary about being open with doctors in the future. I explained that her words didn't hurt me, just my future interactions with health care providers AND future interactions with her other women patients.


The clinic manager guessed right away who she was talking about, which suggests this has happened in the past.

The manager was "very nice," and said she'd pass the complaint to the supervisor, who would give the woman a call.

The lady was very nice, and once my complaint was heard she said she'd "call the doctor (her supervisor)" right away and to expect a call from him on my cell. She also said she was placing a note and that the NP wouldn't be back in the office until next Monday.
With all of that being said, thank you to everyone for your advice! You've truly been so helpful.

Glad this woman stuck up for herself, and all women, by reporting this nightmare nurse.

Can't believe this needs to be said in 2019, but slut-shaming is bad! Don't do it! Especially if you work in the medical profession.

This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.

From Your Site Articles
Related Articles Around the Web
Conservation

A juice company dumped orange peels in a national park. This is what it looks like today.

12,000 tons of food waste and 28 years later, this forest looks totally different.

Image via Dan Jansen

A before and after view of the experiment

In 1997, ecologists Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs approached an orange juice company in Costa Rica with an off-the-wall idea. In exchange for donating a portion of unspoiled, forested land to the Área de Conservación Guanacaste — a nature preserve in the country's northwest — the park would allow the company to dump its discarded orange peels and pulp, free of charge, in a heavily grazed, largely deforested area nearby.

One year later, one thousand trucks poured into the national park, offloading over 12,000 metric tons of sticky, mealy, orange compost onto the worn-out plot. The site was left untouched and largely unexamined for over a decade. A sign was placed to ensure future researchers could locate and study it.

16 years later, Janzen dispatched graduate student Timothy Treuer to look for the site where the food waste was dumped.

Treuer initially set out to locate the large placard that marked the plot — and failed.


natural wonders, nature, recycling, conservation, environment, oranges, orange peels, dumpsThe first deposit of orange peels in 1996.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"It's a huge sign, bright yellow lettering. We should have been able to see it," Treuer says. After wandering around for half an hour with no luck, he consulted Janzen, who gave him more detailed instructions on how to find the plot.

When he returned a week later and confirmed he was in the right place, Treuer was floored. Compared to the adjacent barren former pastureland, the site of the food waste deposit was "like night and day."


Environment, natural wonder, natural miracles, nature, oranges, planet, conservation The site of the orange peel deposit (L) and adjacent pastureland (R).Photo by Leland Werden.


"It was just hard to believe that the only difference between the two areas was a bunch of orange peels. They look like completely different ecosystems," he explains.

The area was so thick with vegetation he still could not find the sign.

Treuer and a team of researchers from Princeton University studied the site over the course of the following three years.

The results, published in the journal "Restoration Ecology," highlight just how completely the discarded fruit parts assisted the area's turnaround.

According to the Princeton School of International Public Affairs, the experiment resulted in a "176 percent increase in aboveground biomass — or the wood in the trees — within the 3-hectare area (7 acres) studied."

The ecologists measured various qualities of the site against an area of former pastureland immediately across the access road used to dump the orange peels two decades prior. Compared to the adjacent plot, which was dominated by a single species of tree, the site of the orange peel deposit featured two dozen species of vegetation, most thriving.


natural wonder, nature, environment, conservation, oranges, orange peelsLab technician Erik Schilling explores the newly overgrown orange peel plot.Photo by Tim Treuer.


In addition to greater biodiversity, richer soil, and a better-developed canopy, researchers discovered a tayra (a dog-sized weasel) and a giant fig tree three feet in diameter, on the plot.

"You could have had 20 people climbing in that tree at once and it would have supported the weight no problem," says Jon Choi, co-author of the paper, who conducted much of the soil analysis. "That thing was massive."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Recent evidence suggests that secondary tropical forests — those that grow after the original inhabitants are torn down — are essential to helping slow climate change.

In a 2016 study published in Nature, researchers found that such forests absorb and store atmospheric carbon at roughly 11 times the rate of old-growth forests.

Treuer believes better management of discarded produce — like orange peels — could be key to helping these forests regrow.

In many parts of the world, rates of deforestation are increasing dramatically, sapping local soil of much-needed nutrients and, with them, the ability of ecosystems to restore themselves.

Meanwhile, much of the world is awash in nutrient-rich food waste. In the United States, up to half of all produce in the United States is discarded. Most currently ends up in landfills.


natural wonder, nature, conservation, environment, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe site after a deposit of orange peels in 1998.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"We don't want companies to go out there will-nilly just dumping their waste all over the place, but if it's scientifically driven and restorationists are involved in addition to companies, this is something I think has really high potential," Treuer says.

The next step, he believes, is to examine whether other ecosystems — dry forests, cloud forests, tropical savannas — react the same way to similar deposits.

Two years after his initial survey, Treuer returned to once again try to locate the sign marking the site.

Since his first scouting mission in 2013, Treuer had visited the plot more than 15 times. Choi had visited more than 50. Neither had spotted the original sign.

In 2015, when Treuer, with the help of the paper's senior author, David Wilcove, and Princeton Professor Rob Pringle, finally found it under a thicket of vines, the scope of the area's transformation became truly clear.



natural wonder, nature, environment, environmental miracle, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe sign after clearing away the vines.Photo by Tim Treuer.


"It's a big honking sign," Choi emphasizes.

19 years of waiting with crossed fingers had buried it, thanks to two scientists, a flash of inspiration, and the rind of an unassuming fruit.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

From Your Site Articles
science
Community

Makeup artist with alopecia inspires young girl to remove her hat in public for first time

"If this brave 10-year-old can face her fears, you can too."

Image via Canva

Young girl with alopecia removes her hat in public for first time.

Makeup has the incredible ability to transform and empower. For makeup artist Abby Wren (@abbywrenartistry), her art and alopecia diagnosis changed the life of another special young girl with alopecia named Elyssa.

In a touching video shared by Wren, Elyssa shared the heartwarming story about how the two connected during a one-on-one glam session.

"Today was Elyssa’s FIRST time bald in public!! 🥹," she captioned the post. "I am SO incredibly proud of her courage all day long, and so grateful we caught this special moment together where she bravely pulled off her hat for the first time around other people."

In the video, Elyssa sits across from Wren as she dips her brush into her makeup palette to begin. The two chat, and Wren asks Elyssa if she wants to take her hat off so she can have more space and access to apply while also encouraging her not to be ashamed of her lack of hair. "I don't know. I'm not sure," Elyssa replies wearily. With love and understanding, Wren responds, "You know that it's totally a safe space if you want to take it off."

Although she's encouraged, Elyssa is still unsure. So, Wren adds, "Feel it out. Feel it out. No pressure either way." The man behind the camera comments on how cool Elyssa's brightly colored sweatshirt is, and Wren agrees. "I know, it's so cool. I love it," she says.

Without a moment's notice, Elyssa decides to take off her hat and proudly display her beautiful, bald head. "Yay! My girl, now we're twins," Wren says. "High-five! Girl, I'm so proud of you. That's really, really rad." In a caption within the video, Wren writes, "me: trying to play it cool and not overwhelm her, but freaking out inside. SO proud of her!"

Wren continues to chat with Elyssa as she applies neon green eyeshadow to her. Elyssa replies, "Thank you!" And Wren cannot contain her joy. "We're twins now! So cool! I love it!" The video pans to the two posing together after her glam sesh is complete. Wren added a mushroom and frog to Elyssa's cheeks for a cool-girl final look.

In the caption, Wren shared more about how her interaction with Elyssa impacted her mom. "Her sweet mom and I had an emotional chat later and reflected on how powerful this Alopecia community is, and how important it is to CELEBRATE being different!" she added. "If this brave 10 year old can face her fears, you can too. Forever inspired by these amazing babes! 💗"

And her viewers are ecstatic about the uplifting moment between the two:

"This is incredible. You could just see her confidence grow as she sat with you. I bet she holds onto this interaction for the rest of her life 🩷"

"You are a sweetheart! She trusted you with her insecurities and you helped her be brave. I love this. 💞👏👏."

"Way to go Elyssa!! You are so beautiful and your courage has me in tears. My baby boy also has AT and he owns it, you are an inspiration 🥰."

From Your Site Articles
alopecia
Wellness

12 unforgettable side-by-side photos of people over 100-years-old with their younger selves

A truly beautiful reminder of how delightful aging can be.

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time. In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.


All photos by Jan Langer.


1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldProkop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.


2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103



via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.


3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.


4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.


5. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.


6. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

7. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.


8. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.


9. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.


10. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.


11. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.


12. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.


The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2020 U.S. Census recorded 80,139 people aged 100 or older, a 50.2% increase from the 53,364 centenarians counted in 2010. As our aging population continues to increase, and technology evolves along with it, it's likely these incredibly photo essays will become far more common. But for now, they are an incredible reminder of how precious and valuable life is, sometimes especially when we reach our golden years.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
aging
History (Education)

What the 'gym bros' of the 19th century used as workout equipment was wild

Our understanding of exercise physiology has come a long way since the 1800s.

Public domain

Swedish physician Dr. Gustav Zander designed dozens of exercise machines in the mid-1800s.

In the 2020s, you can't scroll through social media without seeing someone's workout photos or videos from the gym (and thanks to the algorithm, if you so much as pause to look at one of them, you'll be fed gobs more of them—good times!). Modern gym culture includes all manner of equipment—barbells, dumbbells, kettlebells, treadmills, stair machines, ellipticals, Nautilus machines, Pilates reformers, bikes for spinning, and more.

exercise, exercising, working out, workout gear, gymgym GIFGiphy

While we know that organized fitness goes back thousands of years (hello, Ancient Greek Olympics), we might assume exercise machines are an ultramodern phenomenon. But their mechanical predecessors go back nearly two centuries at least. In fact, Swedish physician Dr. Gustav Zander (1835–1920) created a whole gym full of machinery for exercise in his Stockholm Mechanico-Therapeutic Institute in the mid-1800s.

Dr. Zander opened his first institute in 1865 with 27 machines, and by 1877 there were 53 different Zander machines in five towns in Sweden. His work was funded by the Swedish government and his gyms were free for all to use. Soon, however, he began sending his machinery to Russia, England, Germany, and Argentina. After winning a gold medal at the 1876 Centennial Exhibition in Philadelphia for his exercise machine designs, demand for his equipment in America grew and Zander became one of the first international fitness entrepreneurs.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, health, wellnessOne of the predecessors of modern gym equipmentthe-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Zander's “mechanotherapy" machines had familiar fitness concepts behind them, such as resistance training and muscle group isolating exercises. In the photos of them, we can see how some of them worked, while others result in more questions than answers.

(One of the biggest questions is did people really work out in long dresses and 3-piece suits? Or were these simply photos taken for demonstration purposes? That would still be hysterical—imagine someone in a suit or long dress trying to market a modern workout machine.)

Let's take a closer look at some of Zander's machines:

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, fitness equipmentBicep curls, anyone?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This machine looks pretty straight-forward. Aside from the wooden base and ornate metalwork, it doesn't look a whole lot different from a modern arm curl machine. It's not clear whether or how you can adjust the weights, however.

exercise equipment 19th century, dr. gustav zander, health, fitness, gym, exercisePrecursor to the stationary bike?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This pedal-pushing machine looks like it could be something akin to a stationary bike. Look how pretty those "wheels" are. Seriously, what's up with the buttoned-up vest and tie, though? Did people not sweat when they exercised in the 19th century?

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, fitnessSomething like horseback riding?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This machine is supposed to simulate riding a horse. Except without stirrups, not sure how that actually gets you the physical fitness benefits of horseback riding. Perhaps it's about maintaining balance or stability? Simply the movement and vibration? Hard to say.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, exercise Clearly isolating the foot and/or leg. For what, though?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This one looks complicated. And confusing. It doesn't really look like a leg press, but maybe it is? Press and rotate at the same time? Would love to see this one actually in being used.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, wellnessWhat does this machine even do?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

I'm sure Dr. Zander knew what he was doing, at least based on the understanding of exercise physiology at the time, but what the heck is this machine? There's so much going on here with the wheels and the lever and whatever's going on behind him. No clue.

Apparently, at least some of Zander's equipment differed from today's technology in that they were marketed as passive activities—in other words, the machines were supposedly doing the work for you. You just sit or stand or lie there and let the machine do its thing. Some were driven by steam, gasoline, or electricity rather than the human body to produce vibration and massage, producing more of a physical therapy effect than a muscle-building or cardiovascular workout.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitnessWomen also demonstrated Dr. Zander's exercise machinery.the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Despite the fact that some of Dr. Zander's inventions look more like torture devices than workout machines, he could rightfully be called the father of gym equipment. It's pretty fascinating to see how far we've come in learning about how the human body works, what we need for optimal fitness, and how innovative design has evolved over the centuries to help people hone their strength and physical fitness.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, health and wellnessDo we even want to know what this machine does?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Perhaps most importantly, it's a relief that we do all of that in cool, comfortable athletic gear now instead of wool suits and thick petticoats. Yeesh.

See more photos of Dr. Zander's exercise machines here.

From Your Site Articles
history
Love Stories

Woman who was chastised for being excited about first date shares inspiring update

"Every day this man reminds me that I made the right decision putting on my dress to impress him."

Photo credit: Canva

Woman chastised for excitement about date has inspiring update.

Everyone has their own dating preferences, which is a good thing because everybody looking for the same type of person would get pretty boring (and competitive). But with all the dating gurus and armchair experts on the subject, it can feel like there's no winning at this dating game. One dating influencer says women should never make the first move but another says that women who make the first move are the gold standard.

Chances are if one person has an opinion on something there's another so-called expert with the exact opposite opinion. One woman found herself staring down a slew of negative comments after she innocently shared a video about preparing for her first date with a man. Yaya, who runs the social media account, Past Perfect with Yaya recently updated her followers about that unexpectedly controversial date.

In order to understand why the update was so significant, we first have to revisit why the first date garnered such negative reactions. Yaya shares a brief recap in her update saying, "I made a video saying I met a man on a dating app and he told me he made me reservations at an Italian restaurant and I said I don't eat Italian food, or I don't prefer it rather, but please keep the reservations because nobody has made reservations like that for me in a while. Just made the plans."

couple, dating, relationships, couples, first date, datesCouple lounging on the hood of a car. Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

This is the bit that seemed to send the Internet armchair experts into a tizzy. She explains that so many people made fun of her and told her that she was the reason the bar was so low for men among other unkind comments. The entire situation Yaya described appears to be people who found time to be unnecessarily rude to someone who was simply excited to go out on a date with a man who thought enough to make reservations at a nice restaurant.

The woman who was surely confused by people's reactions could've listened to the naysayers. Yaya could've cancelled the date or decided not to go back out with the man when the date was over due to other people's opinions on what constituted a proper date. Instead, she went with her gut and got all gussied up to meet the guy who was considerate enough to make reservations for her even before he knew her favorite food.

dates, dating, nice restaurant, first date, relationships, Woman wearing black sweater holding hand with man wearing gray suit jacket. Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

"Well, I'm still with that man," she reveals. "Here we are three years later. We have traveled to many countries, many cities, many roadtrips. We've lived in different houses and done different things."

Had she listened to the people putting her down for the excitement she was feeling at the time, she would've missed out on what appears to be a great relationship.

"Everyday this man reminds me that I made the right decision by putting on my dress to impress him. And that had I listened to them I would not be living in Santa Barbara, California right now with the man I'm about to go to Turkey with, that just went to the store and bought me lipstick," Yaya says.

She explains that she's obsessed with a particular lipstick and noticed stores were no longer stocking them, so when her partner went to the drug store to pick up some sleeping medicine, he saw they had the lipstick she likes and grabbed it for her. That's it. It was a simple gesture of consideration, the same consideration he showed by making the reservation for their first date.

Yaya ends the video by saying, "Don't let these people convince you that your love should be according to their definition. You love and be loved according to your soul and your spirit and your heart. We are still together almost three years later all because I got excited that he made reservations for dinner and he has made me excited about life ever since."

From Your Site Articles
dating advice
Trending Stories