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Family

Single dad asks strangers for help when 13-year-old daughter starts her first period

The women (and men!) are here to help.

single dads, first period, period products, period products for teens

A single dad reaching out for help got a huge amount of support.

Even in this amazing girl-dad era, certain aspects of girlhood can still be quite challenging for fathers to know how to best show up for their daughters. And certainly, first periods are one of them.

This can be especially true for single dads. Even the guy who grew up with sisters likely wouldn’t know the ins and outs of different menstrual products available today, and that’s not even getting into the emotional roller coaster often involved.

One single dad hoped to find answers on Reddit after his soon-to-be 13-year-old daughter had her first cycle. And thankfully, he got what he needed—and then some.


“I'm a single dad and my daughter (soon to be 13) has just started her first period. Luckily, she was at a friend's house and managed to get hold of a few pads but we don't really have anything at home,” the dad explained.

He continued, “What do I need to be doing? Pads, tampons or cups? Different things for different situations? Should I just buy different products in different levels of absorbency and let her figure out what's comfortable? Should I have a specific pain relief on hand or just hot water bottles?”



First off, kudos to this dad for already being thorough. Asking about product specifics? Thinking about pain relief? A+

And people were equally thorough in their answers. One person suggested dedicating a section of the bathroom to a discrete “period care stash” which would include:

  • Pads (medium + heavy OR medium + night-time).
  • Baby wipes (fragrance free. NOT makeup wipes).
  • Ibuprofen or similar
  • Hot water bottle
  • Bonus items:
    • Favorite chocolate
    • New pack of basic underwear

period products for teensEnough can't be said about having a discreet period stash. Photo credit: Canva

They also suggested getting a fabric drawstring bag so that some of these items could go into the girl’s school bag, as well as incorporating a cycle tracking app like Clue or using some other kind of “top-up system” to know when these items would need replenishing.

“This will probably depend a lot on how independent she is and whether the topic feels awkward to her (which is natural even though there's nothing to be embarrassed about). She might want you to just pick up a new packet of pads as part of your grocery shop once a month. She might want you to leave the shopping list where she can see it so she can just write on it what she wants. She might prefer you give her a little extra money so she can pick up products for herself. Use your best judgment or ask her,” they said.

This person did add the disclaimer that “no matter how regular her cycles may be they still take us by surprise sometimes.” So it’s a good idea to have good laundry detergent on hand and that she also knows how to do her own laundry if she needed.

This person made it very clear to the dad to be mindful to not instill any shame around menstruation, and to have “a bit of grace if she's a bit snappy, or if she's more lethargic or spending longer in the bathroom. She won't want you to draw her attention to this.”

Other honorable mentions include getting period underwear like Thinx and Knix, rinsing and stained items in cold water before washing, asking a female she’s comfortable with to teach her about tampons, having a basic understanding of PMDD, endometriosis, PCOS etc., and to make sure the bathroom trash can has a lid, especially if the house has dogs.

But beyond helpful advice, this dad got a lot of positive encouragement.

“You are a really cool dad to be so calm and collected, and caring. You are a hero,” one person wrote.

“You are pure gold, coming from a single father of an eleven year old daughter. Thank you” wrote another.

This chapter might not be quite as simple to navigate as previous ones, but simply having the intention to be well informed is already putting this dad on the path towards success. Kudos to him, and all the other dads who strive to support their daughters every step of the way.

Years after it happened, Patagonia's approach to the "family-friendly workplace" is a whole new level that still deserves our attention - and praise.

The outdoor clothing and gear company has made a name for itself by putting its money where its mouth is. From creating backpacks out of 100% recycled materials to donating their $10 million tax cut to fight climate change to refusing to sell to clients who harm the environment, Patagonia leads by example.

That dedication to principle is clear in its policies for parents who work for them, as evidenced by a 2019 viral post from Holly Morisette, a recruiter at Patagonia.


Morisette wrote on LinkedIn:

"While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said...'There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge.'

It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a 'call to action'. A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families.

That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass.

It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. "


Holly Morissette on LinkedIn: "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting the other day after a recent return from maternity leave, our VP (Dean Carter) turned to me and said..."There is no way to measure the ROI on that. But I know it's huge." It got me thinking...with the immense gratitude that I have for on-site childcare at Patagonia comes a responsibility to share a “call to action". A PSA to tout the extraordinary benefits that come along with not asking employees to make the gut wrenching decision to either leave their jobs or leave their babies. TO HAVE TO LEAVE THEIR JOBS OR LEAVE THEIR BABIES. That perhaps just one person will brave the subject with their employer (big or small) in the hopes that it gets the wheels turning to think differently about how to truly support working families. That with a bit of creativity, and a whole lot of guts, companies can create a workplace where mothers aren't hiding in broom closets pumping milk, but rather visiting their babies for large doses of love and serotonin before returning to their work and kicking ass. It's no wonder that Patagonia has 100% retention of moms. Keeping them close to their babies keeps them engaged. And engaged mothers (and fathers!) get stuff done. Thank you, Patagonia, for leading the way. " www.linkedin.com


Just the first eight words of Morisette's post are extraordinary. "While nursing my baby during a morning meeting..."

As if that's totally normal. As if everyone understands that working moms can be much more engaged and efficient in their jobs if they can feed their baby while they go over sales figures. As if the long-held belief that life and work must be completely separate is a construct that deserves to be challenged.

And then the comment from her male colleague about the ROI (Return on Investment) of breastfeeding—witty, considering the time and place, and yet so supportive.

On-site childcare so that parents don't have to choose between leaving their jobs or leaving their babies. Letting life integrate with work so that working families don't have to constantly feel torn in two different directions. Flexibility in meetings and schedules. Allowing for the natural rhythms and needs of breastfeeders. Making childcare as easy and accessible as possible so that employees can be more effective in their jobs.

All of this seems so profoundly logical, it's a wonder that more companies have not figured this out sooner. Clearly, it works. I mean, who has ever heard of a 100% retention rate for mothers?

Patagonia's got it goin' on. Let's hope more companies take their lead.


This article originally appeared on 8.16.19

Popular

Mom gives back son's perfect attendance award to prove a simple point

"What on earth are we teaching our kids about value and worth?"

CDC/Unsplash and JE Theriot/Flickr

You remember what it was like as a kid.

At the end of every school year, there was a ceremony, or at least an announcement of some kind, where a handful of students would receive an award for "Perfect Attendance."

There was much applause and admiration for these heroic kids.

Maybe you got one of these awards yourself. Maybe you simply sat there feeling strangely bad about the one time you had a cold and had to stay home.

If only you had gutted through it, you could have had some of that applause, too.

Well, one mom has had enough of perfect attendance awards. In fact, when her son's school offered him one, they turned it down.

school bus on pathway Photo by Denisse Leon on Unsplash

In a post on her blog, U.K. mom and author Rachel Wright wrote about the experience and her reasoning behind the decision.

It might sound strange at first, but she makes a lot of great points. Her biggest gripe? Kids can't control who gets sick and when:

"In this family you are not shamed for ill health, vulnerability or weakness. In this house you are not encouraged to spread germs when you are not well. In this house we look after ourselves and the weakest amongst us," she writes.

"Can you imagine a work place that at the end of each week marked out all the people who hadn't been sick? Where all the departments with the least number of people off were rewarded — in front of everyone else?

"It happens in schools all the time.

"Can you imagine what kind of atmosphere that would create with people who had days off because of bereavement, mental health problem or chronic conditions? What on earth are we teaching our kids about value and worth? What are we teaching them about looking out for each other and looking after the sick or disabled in our community?"

Wright goes on: Most school-aged kids have very little control over whether they get to school.

female teacher standing in front of children Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Policies that reward kids for zero absences unfairly favor those of more privileged households.

After all, it's a heck of a lot easier to get to school amid rain and snow in Mommy's 4-wheel-drive SUV versus the public bus.

And kids with health problems or chronic illnesses? They don't stand a chance.

"He had no control over his attendance," Wright wrote. "I took him to school and it would have been my decision to keep him off. I should get the reward (or not) for his attendance."

The blog post has gone viral, with comments pouring in from parents around the world who share Wright's frustration for this arbitrary form of celebration.

"The worst time was in primary school when [my daughter] repeatedly 'lost' her class the class award, and was bullied because of it," wrote one mom.

"In a work place, this would never be acceptable, but we allow this to ... happen for our children," added another commenter.

While it's not a bad thing to celebrate kids for commitment and hard work at school, we ought to give some more thought to how we do it and whether we want our kids growing up believing that never taking a day off is something to aspire to.

The debate on the pros and cons of perfect attendance awards rages on, even in 2024.

Though anecdotally it feels like they're beginning to go out of style. After all, data shows that awards and certificates don't have a positive effect on absenteeism — and in fact can have the opposite effect!

In a world that lived through the 2020 COVID pandemic and lockdowns, it seems much smarter to let kids know: It's OK to take care of yourself when you're sick, it's important to stay home to stop the spread of germs, and yes, the occasional day off for your mental health isn't going to hurt anyone.

Kudos to Rachel Wright for kicking off a conversation that's finally beginning to make a difference.


This article originally appeared on 7.17.17

via Royalty Now / Instagram

One of the major reasons we feel disassociated from history is that it can be hard to relate to people who lived hundreds, let alone thousands, of years ago.

Artist Becca Saladin, 29, is bridging that gap by creating modern-looking pictures of historical figures that show us what they'd look like today.


"History isn't just a series of stories, it was real people with real feelings. I think the work brings people a step closer to that," she said according to Buzzfeed.

Saladin has always loved archaeology and always wished to see see what historical events actually looked like.

She started her Instagram page after wanting to see her favorite historical figure, Anne Boleyn, in real life instead of artist's depiction.

"I wanted to know if she could come to life from the few pale, flat portraits we have of her," she wrote for Bored Panda. "I started the account to satisfy my own curiosity about what members of the past would look like if they were standing right in front of me."

Her artwork has earned her over 120,000 followers on Instagram. "I always struggled with finding a true hobby, so this has been such a fun creative outlet for me," she said. "It's really cool to have found a hobby that combines my passions for both art and history."

Saladin does brilliant job at giving historical figures modern clothing, hairstyles and makeup. She also shows them in places you'd find modern celebrities or politicians. Her modern version of Marie Antoinette appears to be posing for paparazzi her Mona Lisa is photographed on a busy city street.

Here's a sampling of some of Saladin's modern representations of historical figures.

Genghis Khan

King Henry VII

Agrippina the Younger

Queen Nefertiti

Ben Franklin

This article originally appeared on 2.27.20

Health

Woman publicly embarrasses herself 30 days in a row to overcome intense fear of rejection

“Doing things that terrified me changed my life, and my confidence has skyrocketed."

A woman laughing near the sea.

Sophie Jones, 22, of Warrington, England, was so tired of having her life put on hold by her debilitating fear of rejection that she undertook a brave challenge. To overcome her fear of embarrassment, she forced herself to make an uncomfortable request of a stranger once a day for 30 days. She documented her journey on TikTok, inspiring tens of thousands of people to challenge their limitations.

It all started last February when Jones learned about rejection therapy, a form of exposure therapy she hoped could help her overcome her fears. Jones has been suffering from an intense fear of rejection since she was bullied as a teen. This made her shy away from relationships, social activities and professional opportunities.

“I was scared to make more friends. I felt I had no confidence within myself. I saw others with opportunities and thought, ‘Why did I not have them?’ I felt like it was holding me back. I felt like I’d lost control of my life. I struggled with my mindset and outlook on life,” she said, according to Good News Network.


So, in a TikTok video posted last May, she challenged herself to 30 days of rejection therapy and asked her followers to suggest some embarrassing situations where she would have to face her fears.

@sophie_jones111

help me become untouchable by doing social anxiety exposure therapy😂 All ideas welcome so I can hold myself accountable 🫣 #socialanxiety #exposuretherapy #mindset

The initial video kicked off a series where Jones put herself in some seriously embarrassing situations. She asked someone in a supermarket to have something out of their cart, asked McDonald’s employees if she could step behind the counter and make a McFlurry and asked to sing with the band at a theater production.

@sophie_jones111

A whole load of crickets when i asked. Day 1 of doing rejection therapy for 30 days. 😬😬 #rejectiontherapy #overcomingfears #awkward

After the first week of rejection therapy, Jones began to notice changes in herself. "When I first started, I was terrified—but that showed I needed to do it,” she told The Warrington Guardian. "I'm realizing it's never as bad as you think it will be, and the world will keep turning! I'd recommend the challenge to others—it's scary, but when you push past the fear, you feel more confident."

One of the most uncomfortable moments of the series was when Jones asked a fireman if she could slide down the pole at a local station. A policeman at the station told her that her chances of siding down the pole were “unlikely.”

“It's not even hearing no that's the worst part of this; it's the judgment side of it. You just feel so silly, and they look at you like, ‘what on Earth?’ but imagine in day-to-day life if you didn't have the judgment of other people,” she said in her TikTok video.

@sophie_jones111

As if the police got involved🫢Day 20 of rejection therapy complete. #rejectiontherapy

After completing the 30-day challenge, Jones and her audience didn't want to stop there. She then began a series of videos in which she pushed herself outside of her comfort zone.

Rejection therapy is a pretty straightforward way for people to overcome their fear of rejection if they can stomach the embarrassment. After multiple exposures, patients become desensitized and realize that nothing bad will happen even if they are rejected.

However, Dr. Elisabeth Morray, Licensed Psychologist and VP of Clinical Operations at Alma, suggests that people looking for help overcoming their fear of rejection would be well-served to go through the process with a professional.

“The risk of going it alone is that, without the support of someone who understands how to approach exposure therapy in healthy and responsible ways, pushing yourself head-first into the kinds of situations you fear can actually be traumatic in ways that will increase your fears, rather than reducing them,” says Dr. Morray, “rejection therapy may do more harm than good for people who need appropriate support and resources to have a therapeutic, rather than traumatic, experience of being vulnerable to the pain of rejection.”

Ultimately, rejection is a part of life, and unfortunately, we all deal with it from time to time. But by actively avoiding it, we cut ourselves off from many of the things that make life worth living, including friendships, professional opportunities and personal growth.

Rejection therapy may have made an incredible change in Jones’ life, but it’s also been a great example for the tens of thousands of people who have watched her videos and may have considered challenging themselves in the same way.

“Open your mind up to the abundance of life. The unknown means anything can happen,” Jones said, according to The Daily Mail. “You can wake up tomorrow with a dream email, you just need to open your mindset up to the possibility that great things can happen to you. If it can happen for other people, why can't it happen for you.”

Joy

'I will kill you.' The wild story behind Costco's inflation-proof $1.50 hot dog combo

The price hasn't changed for nearly 40 years, under threat of death from Costco's 88-year-old co-founder.

A hot dog with condiments and a large soda costs just $1.50 at Costco.

Costco is beloved by its customers for many reasons, from quality items at wholesale prices to the way the company cares for its employees. But one Costco staple in particular has earned the loyalty of customers like no other—the $1.50 hot dog meal.

At a time when you can easily drop $10 to 15 on a single fast food meal, spending $1.50 on a delicious, jumbo, all-beef hot dog plus toppings plus a large soda almost feels like highway robbery. And we have one man—and his direct death threat—to thank for it.


The Costco hot dog debuted in 1985 at $1.50 and the price has remained unchanged in the nearly 40 years since. Former Costco CEO Craig Jelinek once tried to broach the subject of increasing the price in response to inflation with one of the store's co-founders, Jim Sinegal. It didn't go so well.

The infamous Costco hot dog death threat

As Jelinek recalled in a 2018 interview, “I came to [Jim Sinegal] once and I said, ‘Jim, we can’t sell this hot dog for a buck fifty. We are losing our rear ends.’ And he said, ‘If you raise the effing hot dog, I will kill you. Figure it out.’"

Okay then.

costco hot dog mealCostco food court hot dogs are 100% beef.Photo credit: bob walker from London, UK

Sinegal, now 88, told the Seattle Times in 2009 that if the price on the hot dog combo ever goes up, it means he's dead. He told the paper:

"It’s amazing how creative we have been to figure out ways to keep the price down. It was a Sinai hot dog, and now it’s a Kirkland Signature hot dog. It’s actually 4.4 ounces, so it’s slightly bigger than a quarter pound now. It’s a drink and a free refill on the drink for a buck fifty. We used to sell the soda in a can, and we put in soda machines, which took the price down. We improved the cost of the condiments, we’ve purchased better on buns and things like that.

It’s the same quality hot dog, all beef, the best ingredients that you can imagine. I know it sounds crazy making a big deal about a hot dog, but we spend a lot of time on it…When you get customers who are that delighted with something, it’s worth your time and energy to make it work…We’re known for that hot dog. That’s something you don’t mess with.”

front of a costco warehouseCostco sells its hot dog combo for a song at locations around the world.Photo by Grant Beirute on Unsplash

When, if ever, will Costco raise its hot dog meal price?

Surely, there has to be a breaking point, though, right? Loss leaders are common in the retail business, but no one would bat an eye if the hot dog went up, say, 50 cents. Even at double its current price point, it would still be a ridiculously cheap meal. You can't even get the soda for $1.50 anywhere else. Can Costco really keep selling this combo without even breaking even?

It's a legitimate question, especially with Costco's four-decade Chief Financial Officer Richard Galanti stepping down in the spring of 2024. As the longest-serving CFO of a major U.S. public company, Galanti has overseen pretty much the entirety of Costco's meteoric rise as a money-saving warehouse giant. It's been ultimately up to him to "figure it out," and he has. But with a new CFO coming in, people have wondered if the infamous hot dog deal would continue to stick.

"To clear up some recent media speculation, I also want to confirm the $1.50 hot dog price is safe,” new Costco CFO Gary Millerchip told analysts on an earnings call in May 2024, according to CNN.

Safe. Phew.

As Sinegal has said, the hot dog is an integral part of Costco's brand at this point in addition to being a fan favorite.

"I was standing in line behind some people in San Francisco one time, a young man and a woman just getting a hot dog, and he says, 'No, you need your cup to get the drink,' and she said, 'We didn’t pay for the cup,' and he said, 'No, you get the drink, too. Don’t you get it? That’s the great thing about this place!'" he told the Seattle Times. "We have people who have parties at our hot-dog stands. Guys in Florida get together and have T-shirts that have the Costco hot dog on them. We have people who after their wedding party came over and got a hot dog at one of our warehouses."

Tips for saving even more money at Costco

The hot dog is not the only almost-too-good-to-be-true deals Costco offers its members. Their $4.99 rotisserie chickens are twice the size and half the price of many grocery store chickens, and whatever they flavor them with is divine. Need a cake that feeds a huge crowd for an event? The Costco bakery's legendary cake system may seem antiquated and terrifying if you've never ordered one, but trust the system and enjoy the delicious layered half-sheet cake that feeds 48 people for $25. Not everything is super cheap at Costco, but frozen fruits and veggies, butter, eggs (regular and organic), cheese, toilet paper, laundry detergent,—all of those are generally a far better deal at Costco than any grocery store.

costco meat aisleCostco meat can be a great deal or just an okay one, depending on what you're buying.Photo by Tyler Menezes on Unsplash

Want to save even more money at Costco? Look for prices ending in $.97. Those items have been marked down at that specific store, often to clear them out. There are some huge bargains to be had in those massive aisles, especially when you know what to watch for.

People often ask if it's worth the annual membership fee. Of course, it depends on your needs and how you shop, but members generally agree that the membership more than pays for itself. Even single people and couples share that they save more than they spend on the membership, as long as they actually use it.

Think of it this way. The lowest membership fee is $65 a year. The hot dog combo has a value of $4.50 if the price had kept up with inflation. If you took your family of four to Costco for a cheap hot dog dinner once a month—for a whopping $6 a time—you'd essentially be "saving" $144 just in the value of the that combo meal. And that's before you even step foot on the warehouse floor.

Here's hoping that the hot dog combo deal stays "safe" for the foreseeable future.