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Family

A mom asked if it's appropriate to make a babysitter do housework and set the internet on fire

They're just sitting there while my kids sleep.

babysitting; motherhood; parenting; working parents; babysitter cleaning
Photo by Alexander Dummer on Unsplash

Should babysitters be expected to clean?

When it comes to babysitting, you can hit the jackpot with someone who not only enjoys hanging out with your kiddos but also cleans out of boredom. The only babysitter I've had that experience with is my mom, but I do hear they do exist. While walking into a spotless house after a much-needed night out would be amazing, it's not really part of a standard babysitting package.

Typically, whoever babysits for you is solely there to focus on the well-being of your children. They feed them snacks, play games with them, and follow their bedtime routine to the letter. Then they hang out on your couch reminding Netflix that they're still watching and wait for you to return. Sure, they clean up dishes from dinner and whatever toys were pulled out during their time with your kids, but they don't typically clean your house.

But in a private parenting group I belong to, a long debate was started when a mom asked a group of 260k of her closest friends if it would be appropriate for a parent to ask a babysitter to clean their home.

The anonymous mom explained that her college-aged daughter had recently started babysitting for a family, but on the second day, her duties suddenly changed. There was a list of chores waiting for the babysitter that included cleaning the family's dishes and cleaning up messes that were there before the sitter arrived.

This revelation set off a firestorm of comments with many agreeing that anything outside of cleaning up after the children while they're in your care is a separate job. But not everyone was on the same page and it was clear that this was a topic that was going to cause some intense debate. Since summer months are here, there's no wonder this topic is coming up and views are split.

woman holding kid in the street

Should babysitters be expected to clean, one mom asks.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

Scary Mommy recently published an article posing a similar question, only this was coming from a parent who wanted her babysitter to clean while her children slept. Elizabeth Narins explains that she and her husband are stretched thin and have an active toddler she jokingly calls a "toy tornado."

"Given the amount of housework that clearly needs to be done, paying someone to sit on our toy-covered couch during naps or after bedtime just seems... inefficient," Narins wrote before posing the question. "Is it completely out of line for me to ask her to declutter when my kids are in bed?"

Whether it's the expert interviewed for the Scary Mommy article or the parents in the private group, there does seem to be one common theme among the discourse: Any additional chores should be clarified in the original job description, and if it wasn't, then it should be directly brought up in a conversation with the babysitter.

Many parents in the comments believed that a housekeeper should be hired in addition to the babysitter, while others thought the babysitter should be offered more money for the additional work. But there were several people who thought it was just common courtesy for a babysitter to clean the house while the kids were asleep.

It may seem that you're paying a babysitter to do nothing while your children sleep, but you're paying them to be there in the event of an emergency. No matter which side of the debate you're on, it seems proper communication about expectations will save everyone a headache in the future.

Do you think cleaning should be expected from a babysitter?


This article originally appeared on 6.8.23

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Education

Teacher reveals the 'really obvious' reason teens no longer read. It's not just the phones.

"Kids who read are just built different."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

This story originally appeared last year.

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Health

Doctors share bizarre things about the human body that we still can't explain

No one knows why anesthesia actually works.

Photo credit: Canva

We know a lot, but we clearly don't know everything.

Ever watch a period piece movie or TV show where the well intentioned doctors used maggots in hopes of cleaning a wound? Or when lobotomies were the tried-and-true method of relieving mental disorders? We’ve come quite a long way in terms of medical progress since those days, but in other ways, we are just as much making our best guess about how the human body actually works as we were in the maggot days.

Even doctors can admit that many biological ins-and-outs remain a mystery, which can be frustrating as a patient when you’re told to take certain medications "because it helps” this or that ailment, without actually knowing why. But at the same time, you have to kind of marvel at how much there is yet to discover, even within us. It only further shows the need to continue investing in medical research, but that’s a different conversation.

Recently, several doctors online shared many things that we still don’t really know about the human body, and some of the answers were pretty surprising:

“I’m an anesthesiologist. We still don’t really know why inhaled volatile anesthetics like sevoflurane, the principal anesthetic agent used to maintain general anesthesia, work. We kind of have an idea of maybe how it happens, but really we don’t know. It’s commonly said in my field that whoever figures this out will win the next Nobel prize in medicine.”

doctor providing anesthesia to a patientWeird...but effective. Photo credit: Canva

That’s interesting. And now for something a tad grosser…

“We apparently don't know precisely how our bodies can distinguish gas from poop. We have some ideas, we know there are a ton of nerve endings in the area, but the precise mechanism of our bodies telling our brains ‘this is a fart, let loose’ isn't really understood. What blows my mind is, it's distinct enough that we even pass gas while asleep. That difference must be wired DEEP!”

a person holding their behind that's glowing red to signify gasWe don't know how our bodies know, but thank goodness they do. Photo credit: Canva

Quite a few answers pertained to some topics we might never actually solve.

“The Role of Our DNA: We’ve sequenced the human genome, but a large part of it remains unexplained.”

a hand holding a strand of DNASeems pretty important. Photo credit: Canva

“I’m a derm. We don’t know what exactly causes itching, like the molecular pathways for it. That’s why it can be so hard to find a good treatment when a patient comes in for itchy skin.”

a woman scratching her armTrial and error.Photo credit: Canva

“I'm a sleep specialist. While we do have some good theories about some of the functions of REM as far as how it affects the brain and health, we still don't fully understand the purpose of dreaming. Like, why do we dream at all and why do dreams have a narrative instead of random incomprehensible imagery? Unfortunately this is unlikely to even be solved..”

a woman sleepingMaybe our brains get bored while we're out and want to watch a self-made movie? Photo credit: Canva

There were a few mysteries that pertain specifically to women’s health. Historically, women's health research has been significantly underfunded and understudied, so this is fairly unsurprising.

“OBGYN here: we still don’t know exactly what makes labor start. We know all about the mechanics and physiology, but we don’t know what makes the average uterus say it’s ‘go time.’”

pregnant woman holding her stomach in pain When the body knows, it knows. Photo credit: Canva

“Apparently we know next to nothing about fibroids, which like 75% of women have at some point in their lives. That's great, considering that the largest one removed was 100 lbs- so not exactly a minor issue. There are theories about different hormones and what things put you at higher risk, but aside from having surgery to have your existing ones removed, there is basically no information on what you can to do prevent them from coming back.”

doctor presenting a model of a uterus while a woman sits on a medical chair in the backgroundIt's a big deal and we need to understand it. Photo credit: Canva

There was also talk of how our gut—how we process nutrition, and how that affects our mental health—is somewhat of a final frontier in medicine.

“We don't know the precise mechanism by which B12 deficiency causes nerve damage. We know that it happens, but not why.”

collection of foods around a sign that says, "Vitamin B12"B12, the final frontier.Photo credit: Canva

“Not MD but PhD, right now we are working on the connection between our intestinal microbiome and neuropsychiatric disease and brain aging. For instance, people with inflammatory bowel disease are more likely to develop dementia and experience co-morbid anxiety and depression, but we don't know why.”

“The Gut Microbiome: While it's well-known that the gut plays a huge role in digestion, researchers are discovering just how much our gut bacteria affect other parts of our health, like mood, immunity, and even brain function.”

diagram of the digestive system with a close up of gut bacteriaSome say we have two brains: in the head and in the gut.Photo credit: Canva

For those who have ever taken anti-anxiety medication…

“Benzodiazepines, BZD, are medications like Xanax and Valium. They produce anti-anxiety effects. And they have a very distinct chemical shape to fit into the BZD site in a group of five proteins. But we don’t know what is supposed to go there. Many medications are analogs of naturally binding molecules that we copy and then use to create an effect. The BZD site is for something, we just don’t know what.”

close up of a bunch of pillsPhoto credit: Canva

By and large, mental health is still the Wild Wild West for medical professionals, it seems.

“Doctor here. Off the top of my head, here's a few deceptively big ones:

  1. Psychiatry is still shockingly infantile in our understanding of human disorders. It's constantly in a state of flux, we don't understand a lot about the meds we currently use, and the diagnostic criteria for disorders still changes as we realize "hey maybe all these behaviors aren't the same source disorder". It's incredibly hard to diagnose when the criteria is largely based on self report and subjective observations.
  2. To a lesser degree than #1, neurology is still learning a lot. It's further because you can observe more objective findings in neuro than psych, but we still struggle a lot with how brains function."

a red cut out of a head with a tangle of string where the brain would be; a blue cut out of a head with a spiral of string where the brain should beAren't we all just brains trying to understand ourselves? Photo credit: Canva

And yet, another doctor writes:

“One of the few ABSOLUTES in medical science is that nobody born blind has ever developed schizophrenia.”

Goes to show, we might be in the age of information, but there is still so much of the unknown to marvel at. Hopefully it keeps us humble and curious.

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Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

@JessicaHiggs3/TikTok

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Art

Novice painter becomes accidental sought after artist when her grief painting  goes viral

"I know nothing. I know nothing about anything. I don't know what I'm doing."

Photo credit: Canva

Grieving novice painter becomes accidental art sensation

Painting is a skill honed over time but everyone has to start at the beginning before they become a master at the craft. But when someone's starting out they're bound to have a lot of questions. What kind of paints are best for canvas, which paper should you use for water colors, how do you turn a brown blob into something that resembles a dog?

Questions abound when you're just picking up a paintbrush, which is exactly what Bethany Kehoe turned to the art community for when her mysteriously dark blue painting didn't turn out like she had hoped. Online communities are generally extremely helpful when someone is seeking meaningful advice but like any community, you're bound to get varying answers.

Kehoe was prepared for conflicting advice and even some rude comments about her painting. But when the mom uploaded the fully covered canvas asking for help to make it better, she was flabbergasted by the response. People weren't mean at all, instead they were moved to tears at the beauty of the deeply blue painting.

a group of people standing in front of a paintingArt brings community. Photo by Jessica Pamp on Unsplash

The woman was so overwhelmed by the attention she was getting from the painting that she refused to read her messages after a few art curators began asking to purchase it for galleries. Kehoe took to social media to express her disbelief over the response to her attempt at painting using deep blues.

"I paint as a hobby for fun. I took up oil painting last year, been about a year since I started. Sometimes post my work on Reddit on an oil painting subreddit because they give really good constructive criticism. I posted a painting last week that I was just like, 'is this too dark or whatever.' Now it is the second highest post of all time on that subreddit," the artist says in disbelief.

@bethany.kehoe #storytime #oilpainting #reddit #reddit_tiktok #art ♬ original sound - bethany.kehoe

Kehoe adds, "People messaging me saying like my art made them feel something for the first time in a long time. People that work at galleries or art conservators or something...I didn't even know that was a thing, are like I'd like to buy it."

In a follow up video, the surprised woman shares that she's been using painting to help her through her infertility struggles, revealing that particular painting is born from immense grief after losing a seventh pregnancy. She explains her emotional state was extremely fragile during the painting of what is now called "Prussian Blue." The painting is hauntingly beautiful with a depth that can't be described. In many ways the painting looks like a dark storm rolling in over a calm body of water, while for others it may look like light attempting to break through the eerie darkness.

@bethany.kehoe Part 2 - sorry this is long. Website is up BethanyKehoe.com #storytime #reddit #redditstories #update #art ♬ original sound - bethany.kehoe

It certainly doesn't look like it is something created by an artist still describing themselves as a beginner. People who stayed to listen to the woman struggling with what to do with her newfound artist stardom were equally as flummoxed as Kehoe. No one was prepared for the beauty displayed at the end of her video where she reveals the finished canvas.

One person writes, "this painting is so many people's soul. blue hour is my all time favorite. I've been looking for this painting for my bedroom. Please, sell prints."

"As soon as I saw the painting I understood why it has so many likes. Definitely make prints of this one. Maybe even a series.

Trust it's loved for a reason," another shares.

On the easel. Too dark?
byu/oatmealhater inoilpainting

Someone shares wise words from Nirvana front man, "Kurt Cobain once said he had no clue how to properly play the guitar, never learned to read music. It doesn't matter, it's what you create that counts."

"Girl… I was skeptical at first thinking it would be something trendy or generic but my goodness the redditors were right my jaw dropped and I feel like it’s magic I get de ja vu from it somehow," someone else chimes in.

gif of woman crying saying, "It's so beautiful."Sad Happy Endings GIF by HyperXGiphy

Several people encouraged the new artist to keep the painting for herself, only allowing galleries to rent the artwork while making prints to sell with her original signature. Kehoe decided to listen to the people who seem to have her best interest in mind. The woman put together a website to sell her artwork and is now working with a printer to make prints of her viral painting, "Prussian Blue."

While the grieving mom may be a little insecure about her budding talent, it's abundantly clear to those around her that she has what it takes to hang alongside the best. You can check out some of her work for sale on her website Bethany Kehoe Art.

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Culture

Adults who lived through the 80s share 15 things pop culture gets wrong about that time

"Pop culture acts like the '80s were just a sea of nothing but neon for 10 years."

Image via Canva

A woman dressed in 80's styled workout clothes

Judging by Gen Z’s Y2K-inspired fashion trends, you’d think the 2000s were nothing but people walking around the mall in pleated miniskirts and bucket hats. We can mostly chalk this up to the depiction of the era in movies like “Clueless” and “13 Going on 30.” Anyone born before the 90s can tell you that life was definitely not like that. But hey, sometimes fantasy is more fun.

Same goes for other time periods as well. For those of us without a degree in history, much of how we picture other eras is influenced by pop culture. Like how we think of Victorian women being obsessed with waist cinching thanks to almost every Hollywood movie showing a woman getting bound by an excruciating tight corset. Yep, that was previously debunked.

And sure, some movies and TV series, like “Mad Men” or “Schindler’s List,” make painstaking efforts to achieve historical accuracy. But often, they are works of fiction, and creative liberties are taken. And those liberties create the world for those who did not live in it.

That can even be said of the 80s, rife with Cold War threats and colorful leggings. Or…was it? Recently, user Jerswar asked Reddit: "People who were adults in the 1980s: What does pop culture tend to leave out?" Here are the raddest, gnarliest, most tubular response people gave.


smoking, cigarettes, 1980s, 80s, healthA man smokes while sitting on a boatImage via Canva

1."The insane amounts of smoking inside. Especially in restaurants."

"When I worked in a restaurant, the smokers (backroom dishwashers/cooks) got more chances to sit around and take breaks to smoke. Then, when I got an office job, people had ashtrays at their desks. Often, the ashtrays were hand-made by a young relative in an elementary school class."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2." Anything we wore that wasn't neon. Pop culture acts like the '80s were just a sea of nothing but neon for 10 years."

“And as if every girl and woman was dressed up in tulle tutus with off-the-shoulder lace shirts and a giant bow tied atop our heads.Not all of us were lucky enough to have our parents buy us new outfits like that. My wardrobe was full of old hand-me-downs. No neon, lace or tulle in the bunch."

"I graduated high school in 1984, and never dressed like Madonna or wore neon anything. We were poor, so it was crappy jeans that never got soft and T-shirts until I got a job. Even after that, I wore cords and overalls and sweaters from Chess King."

1970s, 70s, 80s, 1980s, fashion, 70s style, 70s decorA woman lounges in a room full of 1970's decorImage via Canva

3. "How much decor from the '70s and '60s were still in houses and offices throughout the decade."

"This is something that I thought 'Stranger Things' REALLY got right. All the kids' houses look like they were built and decorated in the 1960s–'70s, which is how it really was. Nobody was living in fancy candy-colored Memphis-style apartments except California yuppies."

handicap, parking, 80s, 1980s, accessibility, disability A handicap parking spaceImage via Canva

4. "I was born in the early '80s. I've been totally blind since birth. In the '80s, accessibility was virtually non-existent.That new Nintendo that the kids had? Good luck. Scholastic Book Club? Not in braille or audio. Everything is in print. Nothing to see here for me or mine. Then computers finally got accessible and Windows came out and they had to start all over again. I wouldn't want to go back to the '80s. I now have my phone that I can use to access the world, read what is on my grocery labels, have pictures described to me, and basically know what's going on in the world. In the '80s, so much went by without any context, and that was in the formative years of my childhood."


cereal, cereal box, grocery shopping, groceries, grocery store, 80s, 1980sA woman reads a cereal box inside a grocery storeImage via Canva

5. "Reading everything — literally everything — I could get my hands on. Cereal boxes, newspapers, magazines. Luckily, my library was a bike ride away but carrying those back on my bike was fun."

"OMG, you are so right. That reminds me of things I hadn't thought about in ages.I used to feel so very bored that I'd read anything that had text on it, from cans of food to cereal boxes to whatever books (however insipid) I could lay my hands on. Even the obituary notices in the newspaper were worth a read. The internet really did away with the boredom, didn't it?!"

Speaking of reading…

toilet, bathroom reading, 80s, 1980sA frustrated man sits on the toiletImage via Canva

6. "Trying to find something to read in the bathroom to pass the time. I remember shampoo bottles and the contents of my wallet were my go-to's when a magazine or book was unavailable." "Yes! Shampoo bottles for desperate moments of boredom."

7. "Might be my own bias but being a kid in the '80s there was a lot of casual bullying and conformism. Not that bullying and conformism ever went away, but the '90s was more about counter-culture a bit."


Cyndi Lauper Party GIFGiphy

8. "I was a child in the '80s, but something that I don't think I've ever seen in modern pop culture retellings of '80s life, which I recall witnessing, is this: people think of the weird, wacky, fun colors and hair, etc., of the 1980s — like Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Boy George styles. BUT for many people and mainstream communities, that was considered a 'weird' or 'rock and roll character' kind of presentation. People would often openly stare, laugh at, or disparage people who looked openly unique. It took a lot of courage to go out styled like that. It was acceptable to have a more 'subtle' take on the fun color trends."

"I believe the best real-time representation/evidence of this is in Cyndi Lauper's 'Time After Time' music video, there’s a scene where she sits down in a diner with her boyfriend and his friends. She pulls off her cap to reveal her new hairstyle - half-shaved and dyed bright colors. Her boyfriend's friends start hysterically laughing, the boyfriend is quietly embarrassed, and she runs out of the diner in tears."

tv, 1980s, 80's, 80's TV, sitcomsA retro family watches TV in their living roomImage via Canva

9. "TV was just adult shows for most of the week, especially during summer break. Just soap operas and other boring things." "Staying home sick from school and all there was to watch were game shows and soap operas until the Gilligan's Island reruns came on."


savage reagan GIFGiphy

10. "The sheer sense of doom and pervasive low-key terror of nuclear war. The Soviets' nuclear arsenal pointing at us, and their nihilistic posturing in some ways remind me of the climate change dread we now have. Living with an existential threat is not something new."

"This is so completely underestimated or misunderstood. All through high school, I was convinced that the world would just end one day, and I'd have to figure out how to survive in a post-apocalyptic world afterwards. Yeah, we thought that people would survive an all-out nuclear war."


11. "The homophobia."

"It was casual, rampant, and virtually unquestioned. If you were gay or lesbian, and not living in a major city like New York or San Francisco, you were probably in the closet, at least to everyone but some close friends and (maybe) family. If you were trans, forget about it. Enjoy your life of dysphoria and misery. You don't really see that depicted so much in pop culture now."

"AIDS and '80s homophobia went hand in hand, and it's hard to overstate how much AIDS destroyed the gay community and how the dominant culture thought that was a good thing."

latchkey kids, 80s, 1980s, children, child safetyA child opens a door to their homeImage via Canva

12. "Being a latchkey kid it was no frequent communication with your parents. I can't tell you how many times I stayed out all night as an 18-year-old and no one but who I was with knew where I was or what I was doing. My parents didn't know what I was doing all day as a 12–17-year-old, either! You only called your parents at work only if it was an emergency."

"Yes. It's almost like a 'parents didn't care' attitude that would be ascribed to that behavior now (but that wasn't right). Ma needed to work and that she didn't get home until 7 p.m. was just a reality. Oftentimes, she was gone when I got up and we had zero communication until she got home. I was just responsible for the whole shpiel of keeping myself alive."

1950s, 1980s, 80s, 50s, nostalgia A 1950s familyImage via Canva

13.The obsession people/media had about the '50s and '60s.”

“Part of it was stuff like 'Back to the Future,' '50s-themed diners and baseball jackets being popular, then there was the 20th anniversary of things, like various Beatles albums. I think the boomers at that point were in positions of influence and were looking back on their teens and twenties with rose-tinted glasses, so the rest of us had to suffer these cultural echoes from the generation before."

14."Cruising. Before social media, we would drive up and down the street, see and be seen. Stop at different businesses, the cool kids hung out at the Walgreens parking lot, the jocks at the McDonald's. But it was a small town so we would stop at all of them during the evening. That was our social world along with keggers in the desert all through high school and for folks that stayed in town for years after high school.

"It was like a social network but with your car."

And lastly…

15. "What a mess it was to get cleaned up!”

“That sparkle-blue eye shadow didn't come off easily and if it got in your eyes it was torture! That red lip gloss ran all over. And shampooing your hair three times to get out all the hairspray and the mousse. I loved the '80s and I had a marvelous time. But it was messy... but way worth it!"

This article originally appeared last year.

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