upworthy

Skip Black Friday and shop discounts at these companies making a positive impact on the world

Michelle Gant
11.27.19
Courtesy of DoneGood

While Thanksgiving is meant to celebrate all we have to be grateful for, it's also the unofficial kick-off to the holiday shopping season. Last year, Americans spent about $1 trillion on gifts. What if we all used that purchasing power to support companies that reduce inequality, alleviate poverty, fight climate change, and help make the world better?

Between Black Friday and Cyber Monday, the coming days will have spending on everyone's brains. But in an effort to promote the companies doing good for the world, DoneGood founder Cullen Schwarz created Shop for Good Sunday (which falls on December 1 this year.)

Dubbed the "Alternate Black Friday," Shop for Good Sunday is dedicated to encouraging people to shop brands that do good for people and the planet. It also serves as a reminder to support local businesses making a positive impact in their communities.

While Shop for Good Sunday technically falls on a single day, this year, participating ethical and sustainable brands are running discounts for the whole week prior.

Where you invest your dollars matters, and there's great potential to put that money to good use if you know how. Check out these six brands that sell amazing products while also making a positive impact on the world. You'll not only be getting your loved ones meaningful gifts, but also making the world a brighter place along the way.

Isn't that what the holidays are really about?

Functional outdoor gear

Parque Rain Shell

Cotopaxi makes unique, sustainable outdoor gear, like this Parque rain shell, while keeping ethics at the core of its business model. The company gives 1% of its annual revenue to organizations that fight poverty and improve the human condition.

Modern furniture

Simbly Coffee Table

Simbly is a direct-to-consumer furniture company that sells modern, sustainable products built in the U.S. made of FSC-certified wood. And for every product sold, the company plants a tree.

Beautiful jewelry

Tho Bar & Geo Buffalo Horn Earrings

Hathorway is a jewelry company that handcrafts its accessories with materials like ethically-sourced up-cycled buffalo horns and handwoven rattan. Each item is designed and assembled in the U.S. with thoughtfully selected materials sourced from Vietnam, Thailand, and South Korea. A portion of the company's profit goes to initiatives that empower young, underprivileged women.

Luxe linens

Bamboo Charcoal Sheet Set

Ettitude crafts its home textiles from CleanBamboo fabric, a unique material made from 100% organic bamboo, the most resource-efficient plant on the planet. It also requires significantly less water to grow and produce than traditional cotton textiles. The products are also ethically made and come in packaging made from extra pieces of fabric.

Unique wood wares

The Charcuterie Board

Would Works creates and sells beautiful household wood products handcrafted by people experiencing homelessness or living in poverty. The company works with its artisans to provide job skills, financial literacy, and an income so they can reach their financial goals.

Empowering candles

She Inspires Candle

Prosperity Candle products are created by women refugees building a brighter future for themselves and their families. Each candle is made of soy-blend wax with essential oils hand poured in a well-designed container that is easily refilled or repurposed.

Find more of these great deals at DoneGood!

*Upworthy may earn a portion of sales revenue from purchases made through affiliate links on our site.

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Business

12 subtle phrases that are dead giveaways of an insincere apology and how to respond to them

Sometimes an apology is actually a "non-apology."

Photo credit: Canva

Therapists say to watch out for these 12 non-apology phrases that signal insincerity.

We're all human. We all screw up from time to time, and sometimes, unfortunately, our mistakes hurt people. That's why learning to take accountability for our actions and own up with a proper apology is an important skill for everyone to learn.

Sadly, not everyone is good at it. Or, rather, not every apology is created equal. Some people are bad at apologizing because they're embarrassed or ashamed, but others just can't muster up the sincerity to genuinely say, "I'm Sorry" — because they're not. It's important to be able to recognize when someone's not really apologetic and has no intention of changing their behavior any time soon, and it's crucial to learn how to respond in those situations.

Here are some classic signs of an insincere "non-apology" according to therapists and psychologists who deal with the fallout every day in their practices.

We all know the big hits like "I apologize if you were offended," or "I'm sorry, but..." or even the annoyed "OK, fine, I'm sorry, jeez!"

But Cheryl Groskopf, a dual-licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Professional Clinical Counselor, says the less obvious ones can actually be worse.

"The most dangerous non apologies aren’t always the obvious ones. They’re insidious: the ones that sound emotionally intelligent, but leave YOU feeling confused, blamed, or like you somehow became the one comforting them."

apologies, non apologies, insincere apology, therapists, psychologists, human behavior, psychology, mental health, relationships Sometimes it can be hard to tell when an apology isn't sincere. Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Here are the ones Groskopf says to watch out for.

“I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

“That wasn’t my intention, but okay.”

“I totally thought you were fine with it.”

“Well, I’ve already been beating myself up over it.”

“It was a different time.”

"I don’t even remember saying that.”

She says the one thing all these phrases have in common is that they bypass the emotional impact the incident had on you and instead are designed to make the apologizer feel better quickly, either to absolve themselves or to make you feel sorry for them.

Celebrities are a gold-mine of both genuine and catastrophic apologies because they often have to give them so publicly. Here's Justin Timberlake apologizing for the infamous Super Bowl-Janet Jackson incident in 2004 by saying: "I apologize if you guys were offended."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Dr. David Hawkins, clinical psychologist, says these are the ones he hears a lot:

“Sorry for whatever I did that upset you.”

“I’m sorry but you know how you get sometimes.”

“I said I was sorry, why can’t you just get over it?”

Hawkins adds that just because someone uses one of these non-sincere lines, it doesn't necessarily make them a malicious narcissist. In fact, he says, pretty much all of us have done it at one time or another, because that's how we were taught:

"Almost every one of us at one time growing up were forced by our parents, teacher, or another adult, to tell someone we were sorry when we weren’t sorry at all. And so what we learned was that simply saying 'sorry' whether sincere or not, was enough to let us off the hook and get on with our lives. It was more about going through the motions and checking the box than actually acknowledging the harm done and expressing remorse, which is what a genuine apology is about."

Several therapists say to beware of the self-centered, self-pitying "over-apology."

It sounds something like, "I'm the worst, you must hate me."

Or, "I can't do anything right, I just ruin everything."

This can be a manipulation tactic to gain your sympathy and flip the emotional script of the conversation. Or it can also be a sign of sincerity that's gone overboard as the person's shame and guilt spill over, says Tracy Vadakumchery, a licensed therapist in New York and New Jersey. Either way, it's not an effective way of saying Sorry because it redirects the focus onto the speaker and not the person who's really hurting. Vadakumchery adds that any apology that has you feeling like you need to reassure or comfort the other person is a classic non-apology.

(Here's a recent celebrity example of a sarcastic "over-apology")

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Keep an eye out for apologies that minimize the damage of that person's actions in any way:

"I'm sorry but it really wasn't that big of a deal."

"I didn't think you'd be upset."

These phrases put you in a defensive position of having to justify why you're upset, and they don't show accountability or sincerity.

And any apology that comes with an excuse is a big no-no:

If the apology includes the word "but," it's usually not sincere. However, any explanation, excuse, or justification for the behavior undermines the sincerity of the apology whether the word "but" is present or not. For example:

"I'm sorry, I was just really stressed."

Human beings can make bad decisions when we're stressed, tired, angry about something else, or feeling emotional. But if the goal is to repair and apologize for the pain you caused someone else, this is not the opportunity to make things all about you.

(Another good rule is that any apology that includes the words "It's not my fault!" is usually a red flag, just ask Ja Rule after he was forced to apologize for his involvement in the Fyre Festival disaster in 2017.)

No matter what words someone uses to apologize—even if they do it very well—there's one huge red flag that you can never ignore: A lack of change in behavior.

The words are ultimately meaningless if a person continues to hurt or offend you in the same way over and over.

So what should you do if you suspect someone's offering you a non-apology? You don't have to accept it, or say what we're all conditioned to say when someone says I'm Sorry: "It's OK."

How to respond depends on which flavor of non-apology you're getting. If you sense the person is genuinely sorry but allowing their own guilt to take over, therapists suggest something like:

“This feels more like you needing to feel better than us actually repairing something.”

“I don’t need you to spiral. I just need you to understand what hurt my feelings.”

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad, and I want you to know how this made me feel and the impact it had on me..."

If the person refuses to take accountability or worse, blames you for their actions, try something more forceful:

“I’m not sure what you’re actually taking responsibility for. ”

"I'm having a hard time believing your apology when you say that. It doesn't come across to me as genuine"

“If you’re not ready to talk about what happened, I’d rather pause and try again when you are."

relationshipsapologiesapologyinsincere apologypsychologiststherapistsmental healthnarcissismred flagsnarcissism red flagssocial skills
Mental Health

Astrophotographer captures incredible real photo of skydiver falling in front of the sun

"The Fall of Icarus" highlights pure human skill in the age of AI fakery.

Courtesy of Andrew McCarthy

"The Fall of Icarus" by Andrew McCarthy

With artificial intelligence being used to "create" images left and right in 2025, the art of photography has become even more relevant. Human-created art has always held value, and when someone creates something incredible through skill, talent, and effort, it will always be more valuable than AI-generated fakery.

Case in point: "The Fall of Icarus." Astrophotographer Andrew McCarthy and friend Gabriel Brown created a photo of a skydiver falling in front of the sun entirely from their knowledge of astrophotography and physics. The final product is a remarkable, one-of-its-kind photo anyone would be hard-pressed to recreate.

astrophotography, photography, skydiver, fall of icarus, art Gabriel Brown skydives in front of the sun in "The Fall of Icarus" by astrophotographer Andrew McCarthy.Courtesy of Andrew McCarthy

"Immense planning and technical precision was required for this absolutely preposterous (but real) view: I captured my friend @BlackGryph0n [Gabriel Brown] transiting the sun during a skydive," McCarthy wrote on X. "This might be the first photo of it's kind in existence."

McCarthy shared that Brown did the calculations after the idea came to them while skydiving together. Brown shared a video of the moment the shot was taken as he jumped from a small propeller-powered craft and described the preparation that went into creating the moment and capturing it in a photo on Instagram:

"We had to find the right location, time, aircraft, and distance for the clearest shot; while factoring in the aircraft’s power-off glideslope for the optimal sun angle and safe exit altitude. Then we had to align the shot using the opposition effect from the aircraft (shout out to the pilot @jimhamberlin) and coordinate the exact moment of the jump on 3-way comms!

"As if that wasn’t hard enough, we had a myriad of malfunctions that almost led to the shot not being captured… But as you can see, against all odds, we got it on the sixth try!"

Naturally, people have questions about how McCarthy got such interesting details in the sun. McCarthy explained that he kept shooting the sun after Brown cleared the frame and used that data to create a stacked image.

"When capturing the sun through these telescopes, repeated exposures are needed to eliminate atmospheric turbulence and sensor noise," McCarthy explained on X. "Every single astrophoto is a stacked photo, it’s necessary to overcome atmospheric limitations and sensor noise. Not the same as compositing, which is artificially combining two images from different scenes."

But capturing the details of the sun wasn't the challenge here. McCarthy has been doing astrophotography for a long time. It was capturing the skydiver that made it a challenge. Brown was a little over two miles away from McCarthy shooting the image, and of course the sun behind him about 93 million miles away. McCarthy had to know exactly how to set up the equipment and they had to time everything out just right in order to get the image they were looking for.

McCarthy's other space photography is worth a look as well. He recently captured a gorgeous shot of a supermoon with colorful details we can't see with the naked eye.

"Last night I captured over 60k photos of the largest supermoon of the year using two telescopes to reveal the hidden color in 119 megapixels," he wrote on Instagram. "I call the print 'Artemis Beckons,' after the next crewed lunar mission. These colors are there naturally on the moon—they’re just so faint you can’t really pick them out. When thousands of photos are stacked together, the fidelity of the image allows them to be drawn out."

The blue color on the moon is titanium, he shared in the comments: "The moon isn’t gray, but *slightly* colorful based on mineral composition. With a high quality photo, I can increase the saturation and reveal these colors. Blue is from titanium on the surface, and orange is from iron."

What an extraordinary way to see celestial bodies we look at all the time but never fully see—and in an art form that AI will simply never be able to truly replicate.

You can find prints of McCarthy's astrophotography, including "The Fall of Icarus," on his website, cosmicbackground.io.

artastrophotographyfall of icarusphotophotographyreal photoskydiver fallingskydivingsun photos
Art
Culture

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The intriguing reason why people in the past looked a lot older than people today

Why did a 15 year old in 1960 look like they were 30?

via Nick Denner/Flickr and Canva/Photos

How are these both high schoolers?

Have you ever looked back at your parents’ high school yearbook and thought that all the 11th graders looked like they were in their early 30s? Whether they were in school in the ‘60s and the kids had horn-rimmed glasses or the ‘80s with feathered hair, they looked at least a decade older than today's high school kids. One wonders if in 30 years, kids look at a yearbook from 2025 and see boys with broccoli cuts and girls with nose rings and they think, “What are they, 35?”

The folks at Bright Side did a deep dive into the phenomenon and found a few reasons why people looked so much older in the past than they do now. It’s a mix of how our minds perceive older fashion and why people age more gracefully in modern times.

Why did people look older in the past?

“Specialists have looked into this phenomenon, and it does have some scientific facts to back it up,” the narrator states. “It's not necessarily that our ancestors looked older; it's more that we appear to look younger. And younger as generations go by, that's because over time humans have improved the way they live their lives in the us alone over the last 200 years.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

A big reason people looked much older when photography became common in the late 1800s is that it coincided with tremendous advances in public health. The 1880s to the 1920s were a time of rapid advancement, when we began to understand infectious diseases and how they spread. “We gained access after safer types of foods, and we understand the importance of clean water. Our individual lifestyle choices can impact the way we look,” the video says.

The way we work has also drastically changed how people look. Working in an office for eight hours a day in air conditioning will keep you a lot younger-looking than working all day as a Victorian chimney sweep. Plus, for people who work outside, sunscreen has made it much easier to protect our skin and decrease wrinkles.

Let’s not forget the importance of a straight, white smile. Advances in dental care also help make people look younger.

1970s girls, high school girls, girls in uniforms, old high school photos, nostalgia A "girl gang" in 1976.via Earthworm/Flickr

Why do people wearing styles from the past appear older?

Finally, there’s the clothes issue, and, yes, this does have a big impact on how we view the age of people from the past. “Our brains are wired to associate old trends with being old,” the video says. “For example, your grandpa might still have the shirt he wore in that 1970s picture, and it's because of that shirt that you retroactively associate that trend with being old, despite the fact that your granddad does look younger in the picture than he looks today. “

girls in school, '60s high school girls, class room, old-school cool, GIrls in class in the 1960s.via Phillips Academy/Flickr


The interesting thing for people getting up in age is that if they want to appear younger, they have to be diligent about not wearing outdated styles, whether it's their makeup, hair, clothing, shoes, or how tight their jeans are. However, there's nothing that looks more foolish than a man in his 50s trying to dress like he's in his 20s, so what are we supposed to do? Humans are wired to figure out others' biological age, or how young they are, based on health cues, so instead of buying some new jeans, it may be better to hit the gym.


In the end, the fact that people look much younger today than they did in the past is a testament to how the quality of life has drastically improved since cameras were invented. However, that doesn’t mean that fashion has improved at all. You have to admit that your dad with that fly butterfly collar in his 1977 graduation photo looks better than that multi-colored, Machine Gun Kelly-style hoodie you see guys wearing in high schools today.

This article originally appeared in June.

Joy

What it's really like to move into a retirement community

"I miss seeing kids and families."

Photo credit: Centre for Ageing Better/Pexels

Older people take part in a group exercise.

Moving into a retirement community is a big life transition for many senior citizens. Making the choice to downsize and move into a retirement home can come with many unknowns.

In an Reddit forum, member @common_grounder posed the question: "Anyone who's downsized and moved into a retirement community, what's the adjustment been like for you?"

They continued, "Has it been hard giving up your former life and belongings? Is a more simplified existence comforting to you? Has being around lots of people who are also old been a net positive or net negative?"

Older people who have made the transition into a retirement community shared their real and honest experiences for those considering making the move. Here are some of their most informative and impactful responses:

retirement community, retirement home, old people, seniors, senior citizens Older couple. Photo credit: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels

"I've been in an Independent Living Community for 2 years. I was having some health issues and I needed a place that had on duty staff. I downsized twice. My wife and I downsized from a 3 bedroom house to a 2 bedroom Apartment. My wife developed Vascular Dementia the year before the Pandemic. Eventually she went into hospice and after my 3rd hip surgery in 18 months I moved into Independent Living. My 1st year here my bride of 39 years past on from complications of the Vascular Dementia. When I first got here I participated with some of the outing and events. We get 2 meals a day and I used to do dinner with the same group daily. The Presidential election changed that. I loved the people I sat with. However I was crushed that so many of my older peers voted against their interests. I just turned 70 on D-Day. On the average I'm a "youngster" here. Before the election I constantly helped residents conquer their smartphones be it iphone or Android. Now I order lunch and dinner for me to pick up and eat alone in my apartment. I only venture out now for Dr's appointments and the occasional family outing . I guess more than any thing I miss my bride of 39 years, 44 together. I'm looking forward that my 29 year old son is getting married in August to a wonderful woman and their future looks bright. I'm grateful technology allows me to talk, text and facetime people I care about. At my age, I don't have many long time friends still on this plane of existence. Even when I downsized to this one bedroom Apartment I still have too much stuff including Heirloom China in my living room for my son that been here 2 years. Oh I almost forgot. We have a happy hour on Wednesday afternoon. I always go and get a vodka tonic and finger food. I was told by my parents to never drink alone. Do that one drink a week is me not drinking alone." —@sapotts61

"I live in a retirement community and I like it a lot. No exterior maintenance, lots of activities and amenities. Beautifully landscaped grounds and great views from my home. Being around similarly aged people is nice too. I really can’t think of a negative. But the quality of the communities vary. Do your homework before taking the plunge." —@Entire-Garage-1902

"My wife and I did it 11 years ago. We sold our 4 bedroom 3 bath 2 story house and moved into a 2 bedroom 2 bath single level house in a 55 and better community. It’s been terrific! We have a resort like pool next to the clubhouse and gym. There are tennis and pickle ball courts, gas grills, a big charcoal grill, sauna and spa. It’s a quiet, safe, well kept neighborhood with friendly neighbors." —@8amteetime

"One month into assisted living. I think it’s going to be fine. Just another life transition like college, being on my own, getting married, having kids, building a career, moving into a bigger showplace house, etc. Just in reverse - everything getting smaller and simpler. Downsizing has been very challenging, getting rid of so many objects that still mean something to us, but won’t mean anything to our kids, and there’s not enough space in our 950 sq ft apartment. Having the staff do all the cooking - food has been quite good! - cleaning, and managing my medications, has certainly simplified our lives. And freed up time for my wife to do things she chooses, not just things she must. Moved to a different state where we knew no one, except our sons and their families, so we’re meeting a lot of new people. Haven’t really clicked with anyone yet, but have a half dozen people we can join for meals in the dining room. Yeah, adjustment is going fine." —@dnhs47

"I (64M) wasn’t ready for it and my wife and I are moving out. I miss seeing kids and families." —@MacDaddy654321

"It's a very difficult thing. It sounds simple, correct. But it's what you make of it in your new life. I used to do warranty work for brand new modular homes. Many are doing just that...downsizing. While working, you wind up chatting with many. The stories would run the whole gamut, from ecstatic to downright miserable. My takeaway if you can afford it was maybe try a couple of years' lease/rent before committing. Sit on any s to get a feel for it first. It was quite heart-wrenching at times. Should have, could have. There's mental factors to think of. Your circle of friends may change. Someone other than you could be in charge of your property. Suddenly, there's not a whole lot you can use those tools on anymore, etc. It's a tough thing to do." —@xgrader

retirement community, retirement home, old people, seniors, senior citizens Older couple. Photo credit: Pixabay/Pexels

"We are UPSIZING when move to a retirement community." —@FootHikerUtah

"We upsized into a 55+ community. Sometimes I miss the age diversity with neighbors but my husband and I are 64, pretty active with previously established friendships, part time jobs, and our family. We like that there is a clubhouse with book clubs, game nights, community dinners and a lovely swimming pool. I feel like it’s a home where we can age in place for as long as possible." —@Competitive-Ice2956

"I am almost 70. I have downsized hugely. I lived in a retirement community for 4 years from 61 to 65 I hated it!" —@Direct_Ad2289

"We’ve been in an over 55 community 8 yrs. I love my little house, all on one floor, lots of storage. It’s a bit lonely when our snow bird neighbors go home for the summer, but the grocery store is less crowded. We’ve had several neighbors die recently, but that’s why they call this Gods waiting room. It’s also worrisome to see neighbors having physical or dementia like issues. We aren’t into the pool scene or golf, but we love the indoor walking track. The entertainment shows are a hassle, gotta get those tickets months in advance. We tried a few day long bus trips but their prices are way too high now. Our community is over 40 yrs old and pre 2020 we had thriving crafts, cards, wood, metal, auto, photo clubs….people in charge of those kind of drifted away during the lockdown and a lot of knowledge and organizational skills to run those programs were lost. It’s very quiet here, most neighbors keep their homes very tidy. I’m in a single family home, I have yearly membership dues but no HOA…those are running around $300 a month. We have a great Facebook page that helps us all stay connected and compare notes. All in all I have zero qualms about leaving my old life." —@Adrift715

"2/2 1400 sq ft villa. It was hard deciding what to keep and what to get rid of at first, but in the end, it was liberating. I love the fact that we can just lock the door and leave without having to worry about outside maintenance." —@RowdyRumRunner

"I’m in a 55 and over community. It’s a very active community, dances at least 2 per month, bingo on Sunday, movies on Thursday, exercise classes at least 3 per day including yoga, karaoke, cards, swimming…I could go on but you get the drift. No obligation to attend any of the activities but they are available. No meals, this is independent living. I’m really happy here, best choice I made after selling my house. Downside for some is living with rules, some people don’t like picking up after their dogs or speed limits or whatever, my place isn’t super controlling but any rules are too much for some people." —@Kitchen-Fee-5114

retirement community, retirement home, old people, seniors, senior citizens Older men playing chess. Photo credit: Luke Bryan/Pexels

"I like it, being on my own I didn’t want a house with all the maintenance. I have a small apartment so I had to get rid of a lot of stuff, that can be hard but I did it. Where I live there is a lot of activities if you are interested, but it’s independent living and some people like that and some don’t. I have made friends, play cards and always have something to do if I’m bored. One of the things you don’t think of is that you meet people and then they die. That is something that can be hard to deal with." —@Birdy304

"I upsized when I moved to a retirement community - my Manhattan apartment was 440 square feet, and my car was in a garage two miles away. Here in Connecticut, I've got 1500 square feet plus a basement and garage. I've got more stuff than ever." —@vinyl1earthlink

"We downsized from our home we lived in for 35 years to a tiny home (399 sq ft) three years ago. While the community is not age restricted, 95% of the people are retired and at least 65. We live on a lake so I get to fish as much as I want. Wife enjoys a bunch of activities such as water aerobics, arts and crafts and dancing. We travel the park in a golf cart. It’s takes minutes to get from one activity to the next. Overall we love it." —@Dicedlr711vegas

This article originally appeared in June.

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