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Health

She was 15 when men threw acid in her face. They told her she’d be ashamed forever.

ReSurge International helped Muskan Khatun reconstruct her body, and now she’s using her voice to advocate for burn and gender-based violence survivors.

ReSurge International

Muskan Khatun was only 15 when she survived an acid attack in Nepal.

True

When Muskan Khatun was 15 years old, a group of young men started teasing her on her way to school in Nepal. She found it disturbing and uncomfortable, but they wouldn’t stop.

“I finally told my family,” Muskan says. “My dad confronted them, scolded them, and even slapped one of them. After that, they stopped bothering me for about three months.

“Then, one day, when I was heading to school, I saw them again. This time, they had a jug of acid. They tried to make me drink it, but I refused. In anger, they threw the acid on my face, hands, and chest.”

The attackers were arrested, and good samaritans nearby got Muskan to Kirtipur Hospital, where she was treated by local ReSurge surgeon and Country Director, Dr. Shankar Man Rai and his team. Resurge International is a non-profit organization that provides free reconstructive surgical care and trains surgical teams in low-income countries around the world to increase access to care for people who need it, like Muskan. ReSurge’s team in Nepal has treated 141 intentional burn attacks like Muskan’s over the last seven years.

ReSurge helped Muskan take her life back. But that was only the beginning of her story.

ReSurge International

One teen’s perseverance created historic change in the law.

“As I learned more about the laws in my country, I realized the justice system didn’t provide enough protection or punishment for such crimes,” Muskan says.” It felt like a bigger hurt than the acid attack itself. That’s when I decided to raise my voice and work towards changing the laws to ensure justice for others like me.”

Muskan wrote to the Prime Minister just days after her attack, but got no response. So she took her voice to the public. For two years, she courageously shared her story and advocated for better laws.

Finally, the Prime Minister invited her to his residence. He listened to her experiences and legal ideas, and in just 15 days, he passed a law specifically targeting acid attacks. The law also passed in Nepal’s parliament in record time.

“This was the first time in Nepal that a law was passed so swiftly,” Muskan says. “The new law was very strict, including a life sentence for offenders, marking the most severe punishment in Nepal for such crimes.” In 2021 Muskan was awarded the prestigious International Women of Courage (IWOC) Award by the U.S. Secretary of State for her work to end acid attacks.

Muskan Khutan's awards Muskan has won multiple awards for her advocacy work.Resurge International

Muskan is not alone. Acid attack survivors around the world have raised their voices to get laws changed—but that’s not the only battle they’re fighting.

Constructing laws is one thing. Reconstructing your burned body is another.

Chemical burns leave survivors with painful scar contractures that restrict movement over the affected areas, forcing them to also relive their trauma every time they look in the mirror or field questions from people about what happened to them. However, burn scars require specialized surgical care, which often isn’t readily available or affordable in most low-income countries.

That’s where ReSurge International comes in.

With a conservative estimate of 10,000 acid attacks each year (many countries don’t keep official records of acid attacks and an estimated 40% of attacks go unreported, according to Acid Survivors Trust International), the surgical needs just for intentional burn victims is significant. Additionally, with 80% of acid attack survivors being women, the gender-based violence aspect of the issue cannot be ignored.

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But there’s a gap in surgery accessibility between people in high-income nations, where plastic surgery is often viewed as elective and cosmetic, and those in low-income countries, where it more often addresses critical medical needs.

One way ReSurge is closing that gap is by training the next generation of reconstructive surgeons across Africa, Asia and Latin America, in countries where acid attacks are high. Rather than only sending in surgeons from the outside, ReSurge trains and funds local surgeons, anesthesiologists, nurses, and occupational therapists, focusing on capacity building and prioritizing locally-led solutions with an extra emphasis on training women to close the gender gap in medicine and surgery. Just last year, ReSurge transformed the lives of over 25,000 patients and trained more than 5,000 medical professionals, with 85% of their surgeries being conducted by local partners.

Raising awareness is another way ReSurge is working to ‘close the gap.’

Seeing a potential for a powerful partnership, Resurge orchestrated the first face-to-face meeting between Muskan and fellow acid attack survivor and Woman of Courage Award Winner, Natalia Ponce de León from Colombia, in June of 2024. Like Muskan, Natalia has worked tirelessly to advocate for survivors’ rights and successfully inspired change to her country’s laws. She currently runs a foundation to ensure survivors of chemical attacks get the medical, psychological and legal care they need and deserve. Through the power of mentorship and mutual support, these two remarkable women will be able to increase their reach and amplify the impact of the incredible work they’re already doing.

$Muskan Khutan and Natalia Ponce de Le\u00f3n$ Muskan and Natalia are working together to advocate for acid attack survivors.ReSurge International

Preventing more attacks like the ones that changed Muskan and Natalia’s lives requires a multi-faceted approach, as does care for survivors who are living with the aftermath of such violence. Survivor advocates and organizations like ReSurge International working together to ensure that care is accessible for all is a reminder of what humans can do when we set our sights on solutions and keep striving to implement them in the most effective way possible.

Interested in helping? This giving season, ReSurge is matching every gift for twice the impact. To make a gift to support patients like Muskan, read their stories, and learn more about how ReSurge International is closing the gap to reconstructive surgery, visit resurge.org/closing-the-gap

reconstructive surgery

Visit Sweden

Education

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles

Education

Mom shares how her first grader's homework on the second day of school broke his spirit

"It's breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Photo credit: Cassi Nelson/Facebook

How much homework is too much homework?

Debates about homework are nothing new, but the ability of parents to find support for homework woes from thousands of other parents is a fairly recent phenomenon. A mom named Cassi Nelson shared a post about her first grader's homework and it quickly went viral. Nelson shared that her son had come home from his second day of school with four pages of homework, which she showed him tearfully working on at their kitchen counter.

"He already doesn’t get home from school until 4pm," she wrote. "Then he had to sit still for another hour plus to complete more work. I had to clear out the kitchen so he could focus. His little legs kept bouncing up and down, he was bursting with so much energy just wanting to go play. Then he broke my heart when he looked up at me with his big teary doe eyes and asked…. 'Mommy when you were little did you get distracted a lot too?!' Yes sweet baby, mommy sure did too! I don’t know how ppl expect little children to sit at school all day long and then ALSO come home to sit and do MORE work too…."

Nelson tells Upworthy that she was "shocked" that kindergarteners and first graders have homework, much less the amount they were expected to do. "We didn't have homework like this when we were in these younger grades."

Expert opinion and research is somewhat mixed on the homework front, but there isn't any conclusive evidence that homework is universally beneficial for students and too much homework can actually be harmful. As a standard, the National Education Association (NEA) and the National Parent Teacher Association (NPTA) support a limit on homework of “10 minutes of homework per grade level."

With that as a guide, a first grader shouldn't have more than 10 minutes of homework on any given school day, but it's not unusual for young kids to have two or three times the recommended limit of homework. That can be stressful for both kids and parents, cutting into valuable family time and limiting kids' time to decompress, play and freely engage in imaginative activity.

As Nelson concluded, "It’s breaking their spirit and it robs them of what little fun and family time they have when they come home after a long day of school."

Most parents and even most teachers in the comments agreed with her that four pages of homework is too much for a first grader, especially on only the second day of school:

"Poor little man. Children below a certain grade should not be given homework! Small children have a hard time sitting still for a long period of time yet alone expected to sit and do hours of homework, for what??? They are SMALL CHILDREN! Let them snack, play, laugh and all the other fun things when they get home. You are only a child once, they don't need that taken away from them. Let them embrace their inner creativity, imagination, recipes, etc."

"This breaks my spirit. Our schools are huge scams. You're exactly right Cassi. Homework is ridiculous. Kids til the age of 10 primarily learn through real life situations and play scenarios."

"I hate that for him! My little one has ADHD and doing homework after sitting in class all day is very stressful to him and makes him hate school. They are in school for 7 hours they shouldn’t have homework. That definitely takes away any kind of family time and that’s why kids never spend time with parents anymore because they have all this homework to do after being gone all day.I feel that if it can’t be done in the 7 hours they have the kids then it should wait until the next school day."

"I don’t make them do homework at home when they are that little. It’s not fair!They are at school allllll day! And it’s already sooooo much for their little bodies and brains! I’ve never had a teacher upset about it either.. and even if I did oh well!"

"That breaks my heart. 4 pages is absolutely ridiculous for young kids. My daughter is going into 2nd grade next month, the 2 years in school it was always 1 page of homework sometimes back and front if it was math. And to read."

This article originally appeared in August "I was in this boat with my son…conversation with the principal and teachers helped dramatically!! It’s too much and we have to advocate for them."

Nelson was blown away by the response to her post, which has been shared on Facebook over 89,000 times. "I NEVER thought me sharing my thoughts openly about how my heart hurt watching my little guy struggle would connect to so many others worldwide going through the same thing," she says.

Many parents shared that excessive homework is one of the reasons they decided to homeschool their children, which Nelson took to heart. The week after sharing her viral homework post, she shared that they had had their first day of homeschooling. It was "A HUGE SUCCESS!!!!" she wrote, with her son getting far more work done in a far shorter amount of time, sitting for classes for just 1 hour and 45 minutes total.

Nelson tells Upworthy she was totally intimidated to try homeschooling. "I seriously thought there was no way," she says. "But I knew I had to set my fear aside and just take the leap for my kids. I told myself I'd figure it out one way or another. And here we are three days in and it's been the easiest and best choice I've ever made."

Homeschooling is not going to the right solution for every family, however, so the question of homework remains an important issue for kids, parents, teachers and schools to work out.

This article originally appeared in August

From Your Site Articles

education

Family

'What happened to kindergarten?' Long time teacher laments how hard the grade has become

“The curriculum is insane for elementary school kiddos. They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

@the_wondermint/TikTok

"They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

It’s nothing new for parents to lament their kid’s ever growing list of school requirements. From piles of homework to getting graded for school supplies, the pressures seem to be ot only racking up over time, but spreading to younger and younger grades. And it’s not just parents who have noticed the shift. Recently, longtime kindergarten teacher Ms. Kelli, of the TikTok account @the_wondermint, reflected on how different it is for students at even an introductory level.

In the clip, Kelli begins, “So I just gotta ask, as a 20-year kindergarten teacher myself, remember when we went to kindergarten that we just had to be potty trained and not eat the glue?” Comparing that to the long list of requirements nowadays, the educator says she feels sorry for families going through it.

“My heart breaks when I see all these videos of what do you need to do to prepare your child for kindergarten, and things your child must know before going to kindergarten, and these lists of things that parents need to be working on.”

Keli argues that “human development hasn't changed. What a five or six-year-old child is physically, mentally and developmentally able to do hasn't changed, in all these years.” Still, the standards have changed. And kids are paying the price.

So she encourages fellow teachers and parents to not force the educational aspect.

“The learning will come. The development will come, the ABCs, the one, two, threes, writing, all of it, it will come ... Curriculum, it will happen. The learning, it will happen,” she says.

Instead of placing more pressure, Kelli suggests a gentler, simpler approach.

“Let them play, let them socialize with each other. Let them learn to be away from their mommy and daddy and be sad for a little bit and be comforted. Let them find friendships that are gonna make them laugh so hard that their bellies ache and tell stories that go home. Let them create something that they never thought they could. Let them do an art project where they turn a box into a robot and they’re so excited to show their parents!”

In short: “let kids be kids.”

Kelli’s video seemed to really resonate with parents and teachers alike, who have definitely felt like certain aspects of childhood have been sacrificed in the name of “productivity.” Especially when it comes to homework.

“Yes! My son struggled in Kindergarten last year and even had homework! I could not believe what all he had to know. Teacher said he had a hard time paying attention… yeah he is 5!” one mom shared.

“Finally someone said it,” added another. “The curriculum is insane for elementary school kiddos. They have absolutely lost their childhood.”

One person noted “the kindergarten report card used to be things like skipping, walking on a balance beam, the hardest thing was counting to 100.”

As for whether or not a more academic-focused approach to kindergarten is, in fact, less beneficial to kids— a 2019 study in the American Educational Research Journal did find that it led to improvements, both academic and interpersonal, in the long run.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean to load them up with a ton of work for after school, though. Another study reported that elementary school students, on average, are assigned three times the recommended amount of homework.

This is why Kelli created a follow up video sharing why she doesn’t assign homework to her own students.

“We are covering what we’re covering in the five or six hours with these little babies, and if we can’t cover that in that time, we’re definitely not gonna get the best out of them at 5, 6 o’clock at night when they’re tired and they should be enjoying time with their family,” she said.

She does, however, advocate trying to instill a “love of reading,” if you can count that as homework. But even then, that assignment looks more like snuggling in bed, cozying up with a book, and having their parents read it to them.

Point being: of course school is meant to help set up students for success. But if it robs them of their precious, formative and oh-so temporary childhood, then is it really worth it?

This article originally appeared in August.

From Your Site Articles

kids

Family

Gen X mom can’t understand why her Millenial and Gen Z kids watch TV with closed captions

She came around after she heard their reasoning.

via GibsonIsHere/TikTok and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The generational caption debate is a big deal.

If you’re a Gen Xer or older, one surprising habit the younger generations developed is their love of subtitles or closed-captioning while watching TV. To older generations, closed-captioning was only for grandparents, the hearing impaired, or when watching the news in a restaurant or gym.

But these days, studies show that Millenials and Gen Z are big fans of captions and regularly turn them on when watching their favorite streaming platforms. A recent study found that more than half of Gen Z and Millenials prefer captions on when watching television. It’s believed that their preference for subtitles stems from the ubiquity of captioning on social media sites such as TikTok or Instagram.

This generational change perplexed TikTokker, teacher and Gen X mother, Kelly Gibson.

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

@gibsonishere
Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

"I have three daughters, and they were here. Two of them are young millennials; the other one is an older Gen Z," Gibson explained in a video with over 400,000 views. "All of them were like, 'Why don't you have the captions on?'”

The mother couldn’t believe that her young kids preferred to watch TV like her grandparents. It just did not compute.

"My Gen X butt was shocked to find out that these young people have decided it's absolutely OK to watch movies with the captions going the whole time," she said jokingly.

But like a good mother, Gibson asked her girls why they preferred to watch TV with captioning, and their reason was straightforward. With subtitles, it’s easier not to lose track of the dialog if people in the room start talking.

"They get more out of it," Gibson explained. "If somebody talks to them in the middle of the show, they can still read and get what's going on even if they can't hear clearly. Why are young people so much smarter than us?"

At the end of the video, Gibson asked her followers whether they watch TV with subtitles on or off. "How many of you out there that are Millennials actually do this? And how many of you Gen Xers are so excited that this is potentially an option?" she asked.

Gibson received over 8,400 responses to her question, and people have a lot of different reasons for preferring to watch TV with captions.

“Millennial here. I have ADHD along with the occasional audio processing issues. I love captions. Also, sometimes I like crunchy movie snacks,” Jessileemorgan wrote. “We use the captions because I (GenX) hate the inability of the movie makers to keep sound consistent. Ex: explosions too loud conversation to quiet,” Lara Lytle added.

“My kids do this and since we can’t figure out how to turn it off when they leave, it’s become a staple. GenX here!” Kelly Piller wrote.

The interesting takeaway from the debate is that anti-caption people often believe that having writing on the screen distracts them from the movie. They’re too busy reading the bottom of the screen to feel the film's emotional impact or enjoy the acting and cinematography. However, those who are pro-caption say that it makes the film easier to understand and helps them stay involved with the film when there are distractions.

So who’s right? The person holding the remote.

This article originally appeared in January.

From Your Site Articles

gen x

Pop Culture

Younger people are admitting baby boomers got these 17 things right

"Kids shouldn't be on phones or iPads all the time. It makes them weird."

via Christian Buehner/Unsplash

Baby boomers didn't get everything wrong.

In recent years, baby boomers have often been the target of criticism from younger generations. The most common accusations are that boomers are selfish and don’t care about leaving ample resources (whether financial or environmental) to subsequent generations. They also come under fire for not being able to acknowledge that it was easier for people of their generation to come of age when things were more affordable and life was a lot less competitive.

However, we should also understand that many of today’s problems are not the boomers’ doing, especially when it comes to the issues that stem from entitled children and technology run amok. In hindsight, there’s something to be said about the importance that boomers placed on self-reliance, letting kids be kids and having a healthy skepticism towards technology.

In the end, each generation contributes to the tapestry of society in its unique way, whether good or bad, even baby boomers. This became evident after a Reddit user named Youssef4573 asked the AskReddit subforum: ‘What is something you can say ‘I'm with the boomers on this one’ about?” Over 4,700 people responded to the prompt, and the most prevalent problems mentioned by the younger generations were overreliance on technology, the modern world’s lack of human touch and how Gen Xers and millennials have raised their children.

Here are 17 things that younger people are “with the boomers” about.

1. Public filming

"Just because I’m in public doesn’t mean I want to be filmed. Yeah, I know legally you can, but common courtesy people." — Jayne_of_Canton

2. Customer service

"I want to talk to a person in customer service, not a machine." — lumpy_space_queenie

"And also a person that actually works at the company I bought the product from, not a teenager at an outsourced call center with a script to follow and who answers calls for 15 different companies on the same day." — Loive.

3. Turn up the dialog

"For the love of all that is holy, can we fix the audio in movies so that the music and sound FX aren’t drowning out the dialogue?" — Caloso

"And the action sequences don’t burst your eardrums or the dialogue is whispers." — Whynottry-again

4. Bring back buttons

"No, I don't need everything in my car to be electronic. Some stuff needs buttons." — LamborghiniHEAT

"This was the big thing for me in my last car - trying to adjust volume or change songs while driving is way more dangerous when it’s all touch screen. Thankfully my current car has physical knobs for everything." — GeekdomCentral

5. App overload

"Every store/service does not need an app." — BigDigger324

"I was standing at a car rental counter at an airport (boomer here) to rent a car. My daughter’s car broke down on the way to pick me up. While standing at the counter, with a customer service rep right there and not busy, I had to log in to their site, create an account, and reserve a car. It seemed ridiculous and it took a long time, filling in my license information and all that. This was last September." — Cleanslate

6. Bring back DIY

"Learning DIY skills is crucial. I had basically zero DIY skills when I bought my house because I had lived in apartments for so long and I've had to learn a lot. YouTube tutorials are absolutely clutch." — JingleJongleBongle

7. Turn off the speakerphone

"I hated this when I worked at Walmart. So many of my coworkers would talk on speaker or watch TikTok at full volume. It's just trashy imo, nobody wants to hear your media." — WhiteGuy1x

"I work at an emergency medical office and holy sh*t the amount of people that sit in a quiet, peaceful lobby and just have the LOUDEST conversations on their phone…. Speaker or otherwise. Not to mention the people that still watch sh*t without headphones. Like do you not see the plethora of other people around you that you’re disturbing?" — Cinderpuppins

8. Ban QR code menus

"I think menus should be tangible." — Limp-Management9684

"QR codes kill the vibe. We’re all on our phones constantly throughout the day and then when you go to spend some quality time with someone, it’s another excuse to whip out the phone and stare at it. There’s an intimacy to a physical menu. You’re looking at what the other person is reading, you’re each pointing to parts of the menu. You’re noticing the lighting of the restaurant. QR codes feel chintzy and kill the ambiance completely." — VapeDerp420

9. Stop subscriptions

"When I was your age, you only had to pay for a video game once to own it." — CattonCruthby

10. Free the children

"A kid in 2024 should have the same freedom to exist unsupervised and move about their community independently as a boomer did growing up." — PixelatedFish

"The world is safer than it's ever been and people are more scared than ever. I blame true crime and local news." ⲻ Unhappyhippo142

11. Kids need to touch grass

"Kids shouldn't be on phones or iPads all the time. It makes them weird." — Ubstantial_Part_952

"The same could be said about most adults." — DrunkOctopus

12. Stop being so sensitive

"People in our generation are far, far too sensitive. Don't get it twisted; empathy is, by and large, a good thing and it takes some serious doing for me to say it's gone too far. But collectively, we've become people willing to throw every last bit of energy fighting against every slight and making sure our pet cause gets top billing to the point of fighting amongst each other even if we're in almost complete agreement otherwise. Emotional energy - like any other kind of energy - is very much a finite resource. Whereas boomers could at least generally agree to disagree and get on with things (obvious cross-wielding exceptions doth apply). Culturally, we've lost sight of the adage of 'winning the battle, losing the war.'" — almighty_smiley

13. Stop delivery

"Food delivery services are a complete ripoff; if you use them regularly, you’re terrible with money. Get off my lawn." — VapeDerp420

14. Parking meters

"So rather than throwing a few coins in your meter, you have to now get your license plate #, get your meter number, go to the meter station, stand in line with everyone waiting to pay their meter, then you're set. It's an unnecessary amount of extra steps. I don't carry cash much anymore, but I can hide a small amount of coin in my car to quickly pay a meter." — Luke5119

15. Kids should know their place

"Not letting your children rule the roost. When did it become acceptable to let your kids back-talk to you, slap you, climb all over shi*t in public places? As we've raised ours, I've witnessed so many parents around us just let these behaviors slide. It's kind of sad when I'm the one saying things like, "Did I just hear you just say that to your mom?!?!?!?! That is not ok. You go and apologize right now!!". Then I get this stunned "deer in headlights" look back that tells me they aren't used to someone calling them out on their behavior." — Cobblestone-Villain

16. Pride in ownership

"Seems that a lot of boomers have pride of ownership and enjoy maintaining what they have." — Awkward_Bench123

17. Don't follow leaders

"My dad (a solid boomer) has been saying that ALL politicians are crooks since he became disenchanted with politics around the Nixon era. He was starry-eyed before that, trying to make social change, yada yada. He still votes, but holds his nose. Can’t say I disagree with him." — Thin_white_duchess

This article originally appeared in January.

From Your Site Articles

baby boomers

Family

Married couple swears by the '3-Hour Night' as a relationship game changer

"If you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings — try this!"

@racheleehiggins/TikTok

Want out of a relationship rut? The Three hour night might be the perfect solution.

Almost every long term relationship suffers from a rut eventually. That goes especially for married partners who become parents and have the added responsibility of raising kids. Maintaining a connection is hard enough in this busy, fast paced world. Top it off with making sure kids are awake, dressed, entertained, well fed, oh yeah, and alive…and you best believe all you have energy for at the end of the day is sitting on the couch barely making it through one episode on Netflix.

And yet, we know how important it is to maintain a connection with our spouses. Many of us just don’t know how to make that happen while juggling a million other things. According to one mom, a “three-hour night” could be just the thing to tick off multiple boxes on the to-do list while rekindling romance at the same time. Talk about the ultimate marriage hack.

The three-hour night was something that Rachel Higgins and her husband began incorporating into their lives at the beginning of this year. And so far, “it's been so fun and such like a game changer for how our evenings go,” she says in a clip posted to TikTok.

Before using the three-hour night, the evening would look a bit like this: their daughter would go to bed, they would lounge on the couch, scroll through social media, then fall asleep. Sound familiar?

But with a three hour night, Higgins and her husband divvy up the time before bed into three section, each for a different focus.

In the first hour, starting around 7 p.m., is what Higgins calls “productive time,” during which the couple sees to any household chores that might need to be done.

“So start with like a quick cleanup of the kitchen or just like things that accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that either ... has been being put off or cleaning the bathroom or like organizing the pantry or hall closet or something like, super random like sharpening the knives. Anything that's productive for the household,” she explains.

@rachelleehiggins if you’re stuck in a rut with your evenings try this! i saw someone do something similar to this a while ago but can’t remember who! #marriage #1sttimeparents #newyearsgoals ♬ original sound - Rachel Higgins

Next, the second hour is geared towards re-establishing a physical or emotional connection in their marriage. The phones go away, and they focus only on enjoying one another.

“So, that could be things like showering together or ‘having fun’ together, playing a game together, or just like anything that's gonna get you guys talking and connecting or like debriefing from the day or just like talking about what you're doing and like the plans for tomorrow or like how works going or whatever. So, anything that's gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” Higgins says.

Lastly, the final hour of the night is dedicated towards anything Higgins and her husband individually want to do, any sort of personal recharge activity.

Since this is a judgment free time, Higgins states that “If you just want to lay on the couch and scroll your phone and watch TikToks or whatever like watch YouTube videos,” it’s totally acceptable.

Higgins’ novel approach definitely interested viewers, who chimed in with their own questions. One major concern was how the heck this could be done every night. But even Higgins admits that she and her husband don’t succeed at having a three-hour night every night—they usually try for about 3-4 times a week. And honestly even once a week could still probably be beneficial in building intimacy.

Others wondered how to have a three-hour night when things randomly popped up in their schedule, like when kids won’t magically go to sleep promptly at 7pm. Higgins shares that in these cases, they tend to just shorten each phase. The point being: these can and probably should be customizable, even fun, rather than yet another rigid chore.

Plus, a three hour night (or whatever your version of a three-hour night may be) is a great way to remind yourself just how high of a priority your relationship has in your life…no matter what else is going on at the time. Odds are you'll probably find you do have more time for it than you previously thought when you set aside time for it.

This article originally appeared in January.

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