Upworthy's book GOOD PEOPLE, now available - take a look!

Shop
 Explore 

She couldn't tell what was wrong with her son. She never suspected it was anxiety.

True

About a year ago, Amanda Ponzar’s son stopped being able to fall asleep.

"He would look at the clock, and it would get later and later," she says, but the boy absolutely would not nod off. At first, she and her husband chalked it up to standard kid stuff, a fear of the dark or bumps in the night. But as the problem persisted, they were baffled.

[rebelmouse-image 19533037 dam="1" original_size="500x375" caption="Photo via Ben Francis/Flickr." expand=1]Photo via Ben Francis/Flickr.

"We didn’t know what was going on. We didn’t have words for it," Amanda says. Sniffles, coughs, a temperature — those were the symptoms they were used to dealing with. Chronic insomnia in a 9-year-old? This was new territory.

"We were absolutely clueless until we took him in to talk to his neurodevelopmental pediatrician,” Amanda says. The doctor ran some tests and finally put a name to what they had been observing. The boy had anxiety.

Once the Ponzars figured out what was wrong, they could confront the issue head-on.

They started seeing a therapist regularly and found, collectively, that exercise was an effective way of helping their son cope with his anxiety.

"We had him out running laps some nights," Amanda says. "It would be 11, 11:30 at night, and he was out just running back and forth in a field."

[rebelmouse-image 19533038 dam="1" original_size="640x418" caption="Photo via John D./Flickr." expand=1]Photo via John D./Flickr.

But as they learned more about their son's condition, they realized they could prevent those late night insomnia sessions altogether by making sure he got physical activity during the day. It was time for a lifestyle change.

"We just started to build it into our family’s routine — playing basketball as much as possible, bike rides, the playground, being outside as much as possible," she says.

"We know that’s really going help, so why would we not just do it all the time?"

[rebelmouse-image 19533039 dam="1" original_size="1640x1108" caption="Photo by Albert Herring/Virginia State Parks/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]Photo by Albert Herring/Virginia State Parks/Wikimedia Commons.

It’s easy to forget kids can struggle from mental health issues, but they can — and it’s important to recognize the signs.

It had never occurred to the Ponzars that their son could be suffering from an anxiety disorder. "We don’t make that connection," Amanda says. "What does a child have to be anxious about, right?"

But just like adults, kids can struggle with neurochemical imbalances that range from slight to serious. Parents need to be aware of the issue so they can look for the appropriate treatment.

[rebelmouse-image 19533040 dam="1" original_size="500x332" caption="Photo via jenny818/Flickr." expand=1]Photo via jenny818/Flickr.

"Once you realize that's what it is, then you can start doing research and looking into different strategies," Amanda says.

Working with their doctor, they've developed a management plan that works for them. If their son should need it, they're open to the possibility of medication, but since a combination of therapy and exercise has been effective so far, the Ponzars have decided to stick with that for now.

Research also shows that kids who establish a routine of physical activity are at less risk of developing mental health issues to begin with.

Even for kids as young as 6 and 8, studies show that increased physical activity can predict lower levels of depression up to two years later in life. The takeaway? If they're able to, everyone should be getting active to improve their mental health.

[rebelmouse-image 19533041 dam="1" original_size="500x333" caption="Photo via susieq3c/Flickr." expand=1]Photo via susieq3c/Flickr.

"It’s not just kids, it’s all of us," Amanda says. "And I think that’s how our kids learn to build it into their routine, by seeing us do it too."

For the Ponzars, what started as a scary health mystery has turned into a healthier lifestyle for the whole family.

"I am not an athlete. Let’s be clear here," Amanda laughs. "But I’m gonna go out there because it’s good for all of us. It’s modeling the behavior. And I feel better about myself and I’m healthier as well, mentally and physically."

After all, it's difficult to get her kids active if Amanda isn't willing to get active herself.

"What about you, mom and dad? Are you sitting in a chair all day? When you get home are you watching TV all night?" she says. "Kids see that. So I think we have to get our butt out of the chair somehow."

Modern Families

Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.

As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.

It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?

boomers, grandparents, absentee grandparents, milennials, grandpa, grandma Baby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos

A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.

“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”

“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.

stressed mom, young mom, stressed millennial, woman hands on her head, woman on couch A stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos

CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.

The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.

Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.

stressed woman, tired mom, woman doing laundry, woman needs help, crying woman, folding laundry A stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos

“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”

“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.

From Your Site Articles

boomers

Pop Culture

Millennial shares the lies that every kid's parents told them in the '90s

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

via 90sKid4lyfe/TikTok (used with permission)

90sKidforLife shares 10 lies everyone's parents told in the era.

Children believe everything their parents tell them. So when parents lie to prevent their kids to stop them from doing something dumb, the mistruth can take on a life of its own. The lie can get passed on from generation to generation until it becomes a zombie lie that has a life of its own. Justin, known as 90sKid4Lyfe on TikTok and Instagram, put together a list of 10 lies that parents told their kids in the ‘90s, and the Gen X kids in the comments thought it was spot on.

“Why was I told EVERY ONE of these?” Brittany, the most popular commenter, wrote. “I heard all of these plus the classic ‘If you keep making that face, it will get stuck like that,’” Amanda added. After just four days of being posted, it has already been seen 250,000 times.

@90skid4lyfe
Parents were always lying #90s #90skids #parenting

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

1. "You can't drink coffee. It'll stunt your growth."

2. "If you pee in the pool, it's gonna turn blue."

3. "Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

4. "If you eat those watermelon seeds, you'll grow a watermelon in your stomach."

5. "Don't swallow that gum. If you do, it'll take 7 years to come out."

6. "I told you we can't drive with the interior light on. ... It's illegal."

7. "Sitting that close to the TV is going to ruin your vision."

8. "If you keep cracking your knuckles, you're gonna get arthritis."

8. "You just ate, you gotta wait 30 minutes before you can swim."

10. "If you get a tattoo, you won't find a job."

'90s kids, '80s kids, puffy jackets, kids look like goonies, shopping carts, happy kids, free kids Some kids in the '90s playing in a shopping cart.via Kent Clark/Flickr

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

Justin's video was also a hit on Reddit, where many commenters had heard the same lies growing up. However, there were a few more that they remembered hearing as kids back in the day. Commenters added eight more items to his list of 10 things that parents lied to their kids about in the '90s. Here are some great ones Justin could use to create a follow-up video:

"When the ice cream man is playing music, that means he’s all sold out."

"You'll never make any money messing around with that computer."

"Dusty went to live on a farm."

dogs, lassie dogs, dog on farm, dog at sunset, grass, trees, farms A beautiful shot of a dog on a farm. via Canva/Photos

"You'll go to jail if you take the mattress tag off."

"My in-laws told my husband (as a child) not to flip the light switch on and off because he would start a fire in the wall that would burn down the house."

"I was also always told that if I played with the campfire, I would wet the bed that night."

"Green potato chips are poisonous, and eating raw hot dogs gives you cancer."

"My mom told me I couldn’t put on the skin transfer tattoo that came with my chewing gum because the tattoo had drugs in it."

This post originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles

'90s nostalgia

Science

The 'world's slowest experiment,' going for nearly 100 years, is still endlessly fascinating

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

upload.wikimedia.org

John Mainstone was the custodian of the Pitch Drop Experiment for 52 years.

Because we use water all the time, most of us have an intuitive sense of how long it takes a drop of water to form and fall. More viscous liquids, like oil or shampoo or honey, drop more slowly depending on how thick they are, which can vary depending on concentration, temperature and more. If you've ever tried pouring molasses, you know why it's used as a metaphor for something moving very slowly, but we can easily see a drop of any of those liquids form and fall in a matter of seconds.

But what about the most viscous substance in the world? How long does it take to form a falling drop? A few minutes? An hour? A day?

How about somewhere between 7 and 13 years?

pitch drop experiment, tar pitch, solid or liquid, physics, world's longest experiment Pitch moves so slowly it can't be seen to be moving with the naked eye until it prepares to drop. Battery for size reference.John Mainstone/University of Queensland

The Pitch Drop Experiment began in 1927 with a scientist who had a hunch. Thomas Parnell, a physicist at the University of Queensland in Australia, believed that tar pitch, which appears to be a solid and shatters like glass when hit with a hammer at room temperature, is actually a liquid. So he set up an experiment that would become the longest-running—and the world's slowest—experiment on Earth to test his hypothesis.

Parnell poured molten pitch it into a funnel shaped container, then let it settle and cool for three years. That was just to get the experiment set up so it could begin. Then he opened a hole at the bottom of the funnel to see how long it would take for the pitch to ooze through it, form a droplet, and drop from its source.

It took eight years for the first drop to fall. Nine years for the second. Those were the only two drops Parnell was alive for before he passed away in 1948.

We have a small favor to ask of you

She couldn't tell what was wrong with her son. She never suspected it was anxiety.

About a year ago, Amanda Ponzar’s son stopped being able to fall asleep.

Once the Ponzars figured out what was wrong, they could confront the issue head-on.

It’s easy to forget kids can struggle from mental health issues, but they can — and it’s important to recognize the signs.

Research also shows that kids who establish a routine of physical activity are at less risk of developing mental health issues to begin with.

For the Ponzars, what started as a scary health mystery has turned into a healthier lifestyle for the whole family.

"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."

"Chocolate milk comes from brown cows."

Here are Justin’s 10 lies '90s parents told their kids:

Eight more lies that parents told their kids in the '90s

It takes nearly a decade for one drop of this liquid to fall.

We're not talking rotary phones. These legit feel like they're from another world.

1. "Mascara that came in a little box, like eyeshadow. There was also a little brush that came with it."

2. "Cream rinse. After shampooing, you'd put a capful of cream rinse in a glass of water and pour the whole thing over your hair to detangle. That was before we had conditioners."

3. "Belted maxi pads."

4. "Sardine cans that came with a key to open them."

5. "TVs or radios that you had to wait for them to 'warm up' for a few seconds before they worked. And who remembers color bars'? When the station would just show colored bars for a minute to give you time to adjust the color on your set?"

6. "A booklet to keep S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip Stamps."

7. “Clamp-on steel kids’ roller skates.”

9. "The first time Catholic girls were allowed to wear 'stockings' was during their Confirmation. It was a rite of passage, and mine was in 1968. The stockings were scratchy, thigh-high things held up by these weird garter belts with rubbery clips."

10. "Paregoric. It was given to us kids who had diarrhea. It was opium! You won't see that in medicine cabinets anymore."

11. "Darning needles and darning yarn. In the 1960s (more or less), it was still worthwhile to darn socks. But by the 1980s, socks were cheap enough that darning was mostly a thing of the past. Maybe it's just me, though. Does anyone still darn socks?"

12. "A mangle ironing machine."

14. "The little plastic piece you put in the hole on a 45 record that would make it fit and play on the record player."

15. "A tabletop clamp-on meat grinder."

16. "Colored toilet paper."

17. "My grandmother had a telephone desk, similar to a school desk. It had a chair and a small table where the large, heavy rotary desk phone sat, and on the side was a wire rack for the directory and Yellow Pages."

18. "McDonald's french fries used to be cooked in beef tallow. The taste was phenomenally good and nothing like the bland ones of today."

19. "Crank handles to start tractors. There were no push buttons back then."

20. "Toothpaste came in a can! It looked like a 1930s-era whiskey flask and contained pumice powder and flavoring. You'd open the lid, wet your toothbrush, rub it in the powder, and brush your teeth. Then, you'd just repeat the processes as needed."

21.“The little triangle window on a car we called the 'windbreaker'--you had to open that so you could put your window down while driving so there wasn't as much noise. A/C was not standard. Also, curb indicators on cars.”

22.“Pantyhose in eggs.”

23. “One thing that was often seen back in my youth and for a year I also had them but I haven't seen for a couple of decades are metal heel plates (also known as ‘taps’) to prevent boot and shoe heels from wearing down.

24. “Hershey's chocolate bars used to come in foil. Peeling it off was satisfying.”

25. “Jelly-jar drinking glasses with cartoon characters on them.”

"I never considered myself a TV star. I always thought I was a neighbor who just came in for a visit."