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Youth Collaboratory

Sex trafficking of youth still happens today. Here's why it's difficult to escape.

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Imagine waking up to smoke filling your room. What would you do? The answer might seem obvious at first — you'd look for the nearest exit.

But it's not always that simple.

What if your partner, pets, or your children were also inside? Would you still be so quick to look for a way out, or would you first focus on finding a way to help them get out too — even if that meant doing something dangerous?


What if all the exits were engulfed by flames, making your escape even more dangerous than simply staying put and calling for help?

Photo by Олег Жилко/Unsplash.

Or what about if the downed powerline you can see from the window, which caused the fire in the first place, made it risky to step outside? What if your only exit was through a window, which would require that you fall three stories before reaching the ground?

Now imagine there were other voices chiming in. What if someone you loved told you not to worry — that it was just dinner that they burnt in the oven? What if someone you trusted asked, “What smoke? I don't see any. Are you sure there's smoke?" Would you still be looking for an exit?

It's easy to think that if we were in a dangerous situation, we'd know exactly what to do.

But there are lots of factors that can change our actions — and sometimes, knowing what to do or when to leave isn't as immediately clear-cut.

This is why, for survivors of abuse, especially when they're under the age of 18, the question is rarely as simple as, “Do I leave?"

Young people who are sexually exploited — manipulated, forced, or pressured into performing sexual acts for money or other resources like food, shelter, or support — are especially vulnerable, as their survival is often bound to the same person who's exploiting them.

Minors have an additional set of challenges, as they often have fewer resources and greater vulnerability as they aren't yet adults.

Photo by Alex Iby/Unsplash.

For those youth, “Do I leave?" is just one question among a million they'll be faced with. They'll need to know where they'll go next, if it's safe to leave, who they can trust, and if they have the resources to survive, assuming that they realize they're victims in the first place.

While help exists for survivors, each one of us has a part to play in supporting them. If we were all better informed about their struggles, we could more readily step up to build communities of support around them.

So, like with the smoke-filled room, maybe the better question to ask is: what obstacles prevent victims from safely leaving their exploiters? Here are 13 reasons why they might struggle to get help:

1. They might not see themselves as victims at all.

The psychological tactics that an exploiter might use can make it difficult for victims to realize they're being exploited at first. This process, called “grooming," ensures that an abuser has earned their victim's trust and dependency before escalating the abuse.

They do this through offering affection, gifts, shelter, food, or any kind of resources that a victim might need physically or emotionally. It's only when their victim is dependent that the abuse escalates — and by then, it's likely that the victim is bonded to their abuser.

2. In some cases, exploitation is already normalized.

While youth sex trafficking happens in every state in the U.S., there are some communities where sexual exploitation happens more frequently — particularly in under-resourced areas. Victims in those communities may see it as a survival strategy, rather than a form of violence and exploitation.

“A lot of times these exploiters are coming out of similar communities," Lenore Jean-Baptiste, Community Engagement Specialist at the Nevada Partnership for Homeless Youth, explains. “[Some victims have] seen exploitation, but they called it 'pimping' . . . it becomes normalized [and assumed] this is the way it is."

If you grew up in an abusive home environment, too, it can be difficult to recognize the violence as it's taking place because you're already desensitized to it.

3. The culture at-large doesn't make this any better, either.

Girls and women especially are sexualized at increasingly younger ages. When they are encouraged at an early age to view their bodies as objects and their sexuality as a form of currency, Jean-Baptiste says, and conditioned to believe they do not have autonomy over their own bodies, they're more vulnerable to exploitation.

“The oversexualization of them and their bodies becomes glamorous," Jean-Baptiste explains. “They're tailored and groomed by an over-sexualized society."

As a result, she says, they're less likely to recognize the abuse as it's happening, and less likely to consider leaving.

4. Victims might be fleeing abuse or neglect, so they feel safer with their exploiter.

Many youth victims of trafficking are actually runaways. In some cases, the exploitation might initially feel more secure than the chaotic or even violent situations that led victims to run away in the first place, especially if their family members were the first to sexually exploit them — or are the exploiters in the situation.

“It's really common to hear that they've been made to exchange sex for a place to stay or food to eat — or that someone who offers them a couch to sleep on [only] later ends up abusing or assaulting them," Luke Hassevoort, Assistant Program Manager at Common Ground, explains.

“They're not viewing themselves as victims, because they're viewing the situation as survival," Jean-Baptiste says. “[Often times] they leave [home] to save their lives."

Survival should not require exploitation, though — and victims need to know that safety nets exist to protect them.

Youth Survivor, Youth Living Out Loud, program of Wraparound Milwaukee.

5. Victims might feel like their trafficker is the only person that's ever been accepting.

A history of abuse, neglect, or bullying can also create a vulnerability that traffickers can take advantage of, Jean-Baptiste says. By offering the illusion of love, acceptance, and nurturing that victims didn't have at home, traffickers create a bond that makes it very difficult for victims to leave.

This is especially true for youth trafficking victims who identify as LGBTQ+. Things like harassment, family rejection, and social isolation can drive LGBTQ+ people away from their communities, and can make traffickers seem like saviors rather than abusers.

Many communities have LGBTQ+ centers, though — which you can locate online — to find acceptance, resources, and support that a trafficker can never provide.

6. They might be reluctant to access services and support.

While being shuffled around, many youth aren't properly supported by educational, healthcare, juvenile justice, and welfare systems — sometimes all of the above, making it feel as though there's nowhere reliable to turn.

According to the National Foster Youth Institute, 60% of all child sex trafficking victims were, at some point, part of the child welfare system, and have fallen through the cracks.

This trauma can leave victims reluctant to reach out to social service providers. They might be afraid of seeking out help because they don't want to be placed back into the same system that they didn't feel protected them in the first place.

Traffickers may also position themselves as saviors that rescued them from the system, making victims feel trapped and indebted to them.

7. They might not trust law enforcement either.

Youth of color and those from under-resourced communities may have witnessed police brutality or racist altercations, making it difficult to see law enforcement as trustworthy.

Homeless youth, for example, might have been impacted when a police officer disrupted an encampment where they were staying, pressuring them to leave or disperse. For a young person with very little safety, this can feel destabilizing and even violent.

This could lead youth to view their exploiter as safer than law enforcement, leaving them reluctant to get help as their trafficker escalates the abuse.

Many law enforcement agencies haven't been properly trained to support exploited youth, either. They may not self-identify to law enforcement for many reasons including fear of arrest, fear of abuse from their trafficker, or immigration status.

Traffickers can even prey on this fear to keep victims from reaching out, feeding them a narrative that there's no one that can help them or be trusted. “A lot of times traffickers can use those kinds of stories and experiences to make individuals feel fearful," Jean-Baptiste explains.

[rebelmouse-image 19534910 dam="1" original_size="6000x3246" caption="Photo by Matt Popovich / Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Matt Popovich / Unsplash.

8. They may not have anywhere to go.

Homeless youth are incredibly vulnerable to sex trafficking. Without the support and resources needed to survive, the idea of leaving their traffickers can feel impossible and even dangerous, particularly if their family members are their exploiters.

In that instance, family members may use the trust they've established to pressure youth into sexual acts to "provide" for the family — which, even when recognized as exploitation, can be difficult to leave without an established safety net.

This is further complicated by the reality that they may not be connected to their communities. This is especially true for homeless and foster youth. “Bouncing from place to place can make it tough to build lasting relationships [or] connect with a new school or neighborhood," Kendan Elliott, Program Manager at MANY, explains.

9. Their dependency on their exploiters might make it seem like there aren't other options.

Homelessness and poverty are both risk factors for trafficking, so it makes sense that escaping exploitation can be an uphill battle. Traffickers will use their resources to make their victims completely dependent on them, by offering things like food, emotional support, and shelter.

This can make exploitation appear to be better than any life victims had lived prior to being trafficked, or any kind of life they could build on their own when starting from square one.

[rebelmouse-image 19534911 dam="1" original_size="2510x1650" caption="Photo by Ev/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Ev/Unsplash.

“When you are faced with the choice of staying in a situation you know is messed up — or leaving with no money, no place to go, and no one you can call — what do you do?" Elliott explains. “It doesn't feel like a choice."

Victims can and do build extraordinary lives after exploitation, though. And local organizations offering housing options and other resources can help them take the first step.

10. They might have a disability that makes it challenging to recognize or escape exploitation.

Disabilities, both physical and mental, can complicate any form of violence.

For example, research has shown that girls with intellectual disabilities are at increased risk for sexual exploitation, because they are less likely to know what constitutes abuse — especially because exploiters are already very manipulative to begin with. They're less likely to self-identify as victims as a result.

Youth with physical disabilities are also more vulnerable to exploitation by their caretakers because they are dependent on them. They are more prone to isolation, which makes them easier targets with less of a support system to reach out to, and they may not be physically able to ask for help or leave.

Youth with mental illness are much more likely to be targeted as well, because traffickers can exploit their emotional vulnerability, lower self-esteem, or sense of isolation, to make victims even more dependent on them.

11. Their exploiter might have lured them into addiction.

Some traffickers use drugs to entice victims, and traffickers use their dependency to escalate and sustain the abuse. Alcohol or drug dependence only further complicates what is already a difficult situation to leave, giving traffickers one more resource, or threat, to hold over their heads.

Photo by Jair Lázaro / Unsplash.

12. They fear that no one will believe them.

“Boys and young men, trans girls and women, and youth of color overall are more likely to be identified as 'prostitutes' than victims of sex trafficking and exploitation," Elliott explains. “This is also the case with youth who have previous involvement with the foster care or justice systems, or have previous law enforcement contact (sometimes due to unmet mental health needs)."

Boys and young men can be and are exploited, but because masculinity is often associated with sexual aggression, many people don't realize that boys can be victims. Similarly, youth who are dependent on drugs or alcohol might fear that they will be viewed as “addicts" and punished, rather than helped.

In these cases, youth fear that their behavior will be seen as consensual or even criminal, and so, not only may it take longer for them to self-identify as victims, but it can also take them longer to reach out for help leaving their traffickers.

That said, all victims are exactly that — victims — regardless of the community they come from.

13. They've likely been failed by adults in their life before.

Getting help in the first place assumes that youth trust that there's someone who can help them.

One of the challenges in trying to estimate the number of youth that are trafficked in the United States is that, for some youth, they were never reported missing in the first place. Coming from places where adults just weren't invested in their well-being, it makes sense that youth might not trust that there are adults that care.

But support does exist — and there are people committed to helping victims find it.

[rebelmouse-image 19534913 dam="1" original_size="4608x3456" caption="Photo by Eye for Ebony/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Eye for Ebony/Unsplash.

“[There are] resources and [people] who can help them on the journey of recovery," Hassevoort says. That's why both Jean-Baptise and Hassevoort emphasize becoming familiar with the organizations in your own community.

“Community organizations can provide temporary assistance through [things like] motel vouchers," Hassevoort continues. As these organizations continue to expand, Hassevort notes, many offer critical tools, like counseling, art therapy, mind/body practices, and even job training and education.

But the real process starts with first breaking down the psychological barriers that leave survivors feeling as though they can't leave. Because the reality is, no matter how many attempts it takes, there is a better life waiting on the other side, and people who won't stop fighting for survivors until they find it.

“I have a colleague who often critiques the image of a trafficking victim with their wrist bound in chains," Hassevoort says. “She says that, in reality, the chains are on your mind, not [only] your wrists."

Breaking those chains takes time, but thankfully, you don't have to do it alone.

There is help and there are people who . . . do care," Jean-Baptise affirms.

If you believe that you or someone you know might be at risk or is being victimized, the National Human Trafficking Hotline can help.

You can text 233733, use the chat feature on their website, or call them at 888-373-7888. They can connect you with local organizations and support to figure out your next steps.

If there's any possibility that an abusive person has access to your phone or internet history, clear your internet history, and consider borrowing someone else's phone instead, or ask to access a phone at a place like a local library.

[rebelmouse-image 19534915 dam="1" original_size="5315x2990" caption="Photo by Kayle Kaupanger/Unsplash." expand=1]Photo by Kayle Kaupanger/Unsplash.

Taking those first steps can be scary, but your life and safety are worth it. Because as Jean-Baptiste puts it, “You deserve to be happy in every area of your life."

And you're worthy of that safety no matter what — there's nothing you have to do to earn it. You're already deserving exactly as you are.

When we are educated and vigilant, we can make a difference in our communities! Learn more about how to get involved, and help us work towards a future where youth are no longer victimized.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

Parenting

A dad's hilarious 'time-travel' letter to school asks them to explain field trip fiasco

Are you able to search the school buildings for a rip in the space-time continuum?

Images via Twitter

Stephen Callaghan and his letter

In 2017, Stephen Callaghan's daughter Ruby came home from school. When he asked her how her day was, her answer made him raise an eyebrow. Ruby, who was in the sixth grade at her school in Australia, told her dad that the boys would soon be taken on a field trip to Bunnings (a hardware chain in the area) to learn about construction.

The girls, on the other hand? While the boys were out learning, they would be sent to the library to have their hair and makeup done. Ruby's reply made Callaghan do a double take. What year was it, again? Callaghan decided to write a letter to the school sharing his disappointment — but his wasn't your typical "outraged parent" letter.

"Dear Principal," he began. "I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter is a Year 6 student."

"When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017," Callaghan continued. "But when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968."

dads, parenting, kids, Australia, sexism, gender, women Representative image of an angry dadImage via Canva

The letter goes on to suggest that perhaps the school is harboring secret time-travel technology or perhaps has fallen victim to a rift in the "space-time continuum," keeping his daughter in an era where women were relegated to domestic life by default.

"I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines," he concluded.



Dear Principal
I must draw your attention to a serious incident which occurred yesterday at your school where my daughter Ruby is a Year 6 student.
When Ruby left for school yesterday it was 2017 but when she returned home in the afternoon she was from 1968.
I know this to be the case as Ruby informed me that the "girls" in Year 6 would be attending the school library to get their hair and make-up done on Monday afternoon while the "boys" are going to Bunnings.
Are you able to search the school buildings for a rip in the space-time continuum? Perhaps there is a faulty Flux Capacitor hidden away in the girls toilet block.
I look forward to this being rectified and my daughter and other girls at the school being returned to this millennium where school activities are not sharply divided along gender lines.
Yours respectfully
Stephen Callaghan



sexism, dads, daughters, parenting, school, sexism, time travelStephen Callaghan and his letterImages via Twitter

When Callaghan posted the letter to Twitter (since deleted), it quickly went viral and inspired hundreds of supportive responses.

Though most people who saw his response to the school's egregiously outdated activities applauded him, not everyone was on board.

One commenter wrote, "Sometimes it is just ok for girls to do girl things."

But Callaghan was ready for that. "Never said it wasn't," he replied. "But you've missed the point. Why 'girl things' or 'boy things'... Why not just 'things anyone can do?'"

He later commented that he didn't think the school's plan was malicious, but noted the incident was a powerful example of "everyday sexism" at work.


Callaghan says the school hasn't responded to his letter. (Yes, he really sent it.) At least, not directly to him.

Some media outlets have reported that the school claims students are free to opt in and out of the different activities. But, as Callaghan says, gendering activities like this in the first place sends the completely wrong message.

In response to the outpouring of support, Callaghan again took to Twitter.

"At 12 years of age my daughter is starting to notice there are plenty of people prepared to tell her what she can and can't do based solely on the fact she is female," he wrote.

"She would like this to change. So would I."

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Pets

Sisters thought they were rescuing one injured dog, but ended up with 10 perfect pups

"I just want her to have the best life, that's why I brought her home with me."

Sarah Bauer with her adopted dogs

It is hard to walk into a dog shelter without wanting to take them all home. In the case of Meghan Wedge and Sarah Bauer, one turned into 10—and quickly.

It all started outside Meghan's work in Dalton, GA. Some colleagues of hers came into the office and said that there was a dog badly injured in the parking lot just outside. As Wedge told PBS39, "As soon as she got up, she'd fall back down. When she did finally get up, you could see that she couldn't put her weight on her one back leg. I wanted to help her, so I started posting on social media, just asking if anyone was able to help this dog. I didn't want to call the pound on her. I was hoping to find her a home." That was when she made a phone call to her sister, Sarah Bauer, who lived in Quakertown, PA. At that moment, for the dog who would soon be named Izzy, things were about to change.

As Megan recalls, "Sarah was like: What if I take the dog? I said: Are you sure you want to do this? You don't know what you may be getting yourself into." But there was no talking Sarah out of it. They met in Virginia where Sarah met Izzy and took him home.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The first order of business for Sarah was to take Izzy to the vet. That was when she learned how bad the trauma that Izzy had suffered really was. "Because of Covid-19 and everything going on, I couldn't go into the vet with her, which was hard in itself," said Bauer. "The vet comes out to my car and tells me that her hip is dislocated, she has abrasions on her legs and that she was probably hit by a car. She also told me that she was hit by buckshot. At that point, I started tearing up. To think that this sweet girl had been treated that way...I don't even want to think about someone hurting her on purpose."

As Sarah pointed out to PBS39 on Izzy's X-rays, "The tiny white dots—that's the buckshot—all over her body. This is just showing her abdomen. I also picked a couple out of her ears, arms and legs." As expected, when Megan heard this from Sarah it was heartbreaking. "When Sarah told me all of that, I started crying," said Wedge. "I have a rescue dog myself, and she was abused before I got her. To me, dog is God spelled backwards. Dogs are angels. I think it's sickening that people would even think about hurting an animal."

dogs, dog rescue, puppies, animal rescue, animals, petsSarah Bauer and her sister with IggyImage via GoFundMe

So Izzy had been hit by a car and had buckshot all over her body, but there was one more discovery about to be made. Izzy was also pregnant.

"The vet told me that she found a heartbeat," said Bauer. "So, just to know that a little puppy was alive after everything that her mom went through, that was incredible!" The thing is, they were wrong. It would turn out not to be a heartbeat. It would turn out to be nine of them.


dogs, dog rescue, puppies, gofundme, animal rescue, funnyIzzy, the original dog they thought they were adoptingimages.gofundme.com

"The vet tech came out and said: So, we don't just have a puppy, we have puppies! Do you want to guess how many? I said: Three or four? She said: Nine! I said: Nine puppies...that's crazy," said Bauer. "She's really come alive since the first time that I met her. I think the puppies really brought out the puppy in her. She manages pretty well, but I know that she's in discomfort every day, especially if she tries to go up or down steps or even just to run around with her puppies, she won't put weight on that leg. I just want her to have the best life, that's why I brought her home with me, I just want her to have a good life."

Sarah ended up with more $4,000 in vet bills but after support from several donations, including from Upworthy readers, she ended raising more than $5,000 for Izzy's care and recovery. It certainly sounds like Izzy could not have landed in a better home than the one she shares with Sarah Bauer.

This article originally appeared five years ago.

A couple enjoying a glass of wine.

In the 1988 Disney classic “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” the titular character is in an unlikely relationship with his voluptuous wife Jessica. Roger is a frantic, anxious rabbit with a penchant for mischief, while Jessica is a quintessential ’40s bombshell who stands about a foot and a half taller and isn’t “bad,” just “drawn that way.”

When private investigator Eddie Valiant asked Jessica what she sees in “that guy?” she replies, “He makes me laugh.” This type of couple may seem like something we only see in the movies, but don’t underestimate the power of humor when it comes to attractiveness. A 2022 study published in Evolutionary Psychology found that being humorous is the most effective way to flirt for both men and women.

“People think that humour, or being able to make another person laugh, is most effective for men who are looking for a long-term relationship. It’s least effective for women who are looking for a one-night stand. But laughing or giggling at the other person's jokes is an effective flirtation tactic for both sexes,” says Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology's (NTNU) Department of Psychology.

dating, flirting, how to flirt, flirting advice, romance, men, women A woman smiles at a manImage via Canva

“It is not only effective to be funny, but for women, it is very important that you show your potential partner that you think they are funny,” Rebecca Burch, a co-author from SUNY Oswego in New York, added.

For men, showing off their sense of humor was found to be the most effective way to flirt whether they were looking for a short-term or a long-term relationship. For women, being funny was the most effective tactic when looking for a long-term relationship. For people looking for a short-term fling, appearing available was the most effective tactic.

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According to the study, humor is effective regardless of one's attractiveness. “Individual differences in age, religiosity, extroversion, personal attractiveness and preferences for short-term sexual relationships had little or no effect on how effective respondents considered the various flirting tactics to be,” says study co-author Prof. Mons Bendixen.

If you see someone you like but don’t think you’re good-looking enough for them, give it a shot. You may still have a chance if you can make ’em laugh.

The most effective tactics for those looking for a long-term relationship:

For women:

1. Makes him laugh

2. Shows interest in conversations

3. Spends time with him

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Kisses on mouth


flirting, flirting advice, how to flirt, dating, romance, men, womenA man texts a woman sitting near himImage via Canva

For men:

1. Makes her laugh

2. Spends time with her

3. Shows interest in conversations

4. Engages in deep conversations

5. Smiles

The study is proof that looks aren’t everything and shows that having a good sense of humor isn’t just about making someone laugh. A great sense of humor is evidence that someone is intelligent, wise, perceptive, confident, can see things from new perspectives and has good intuition. It also helps people quickly build bonds and share experiences, which is a great way to get close to someone in a fast and fun way.

So why wouldn’t Jessica be with Roger? The guy is hilarious.

This story originally appeared three years ago.