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Self-proclaimed 'master procrastinator' takes us on a tour of his mind. It's so relatable.

The war between "Instant Gratification Monkey" and "The Panic Monster" is real.

tim urban giving ted talk
Credit: TED/YouTube

Tim Urban giving his "Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator" TED Talk in 2016

Procrastination is a common but baffling phenomenon that doesn't make logical sense but most of us engage in to some degree. We know we need to do something that we don't really feel like doing, so we put it off until we have no choice but to hustle and get it done.

But some of us are habitual procrastinators to the point where we put off things we desperately don't want to procrastinate on. Unless it's something fun or super interesting, a task will get delayed until the last minute, when our panic causes a superhuman ability to kick in that enables us to complete the task in record time. Then we kick ourselves for creating so much stress over procrastinating something that we could have simply done earlier.

One such "master procrastinator," Tim Urban, gave us a glimpse inside his mind with an entertaining and oh-so-relatable TED Talk. Using rudimentary illustrations, self-deprecating humor and characters like Rational Decision-Maker, Instant Gratification Monkey and The Panic Monster, Urban demonstrates what happens in a procrastinator's brain at every point in the process.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Urban begins by explaining how he wrote papers in college, not gradually doing a little work on it each day but rather doing it all right before it's due. But then he had a 90-page thesis to write, which should take a year. Theoretically, you would do a little at a time, building up over the course of the school year with a bigger push toward the end. But Urban kept struggling to get started, pushing his plan further and further, until he had only three days to get it done.

"And so I did the only thing I could," he said. "I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours, pulling not one but two all-nighters—humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters—sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion and got it in just at the deadline."

Spoiler: It wasn't good.

The three characters that live in the mind of a procrastinator

Now a writer and blogger, Urban wanted to explain to non-procrastinators what happens in the brain of a procrastinator. He showed that a normal person's brain has a Rational Decision-Maker at the helm, whereas a procrastinator has both a Rational Decision-Maker and an Instant Gratification Monkey. When the Decision-Maker makes the rational decision that it's time to get some work done, Instant Gratification Monkey resists.

"He actually takes the wheel, and he says, 'Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page of the Nancy Kerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal,because I just remembered that that happened,'" Urban says. "'Then we're going to go over to the fridge to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago. After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets and ends much, much later with us watching interviews with Justin Bieber's mom. All of that's going to take a while, so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today. Sorry!'"

media.giphy.com

He explains that the monkey is only interested in two things: Easy and Fun. That causes a conflict when Rational Decision-Maker knows that we need to do something to reach a goal and have a good outcome.

"For the procrastinator, that conflict tends to end a certain way every time, leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone, an easy and fun place that's entirely out of the Makes Sense circle. I call it the Dark Playground. Now, the Dark Playground is a place that all of you procrastinators out there know very well. It's where leisure activities happen at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening. The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred—all of those good procrastinator feelings."

So how does a procrastinator get out of the Dark Playground? The Panic Monster, of course. Asleep most of the time, The Panic Monster comes out when a deadline gets too close and there's some scary consequence, be it public embarrassment or a career disaster, that looms. The Panic Monster is the only thing Instant Gratification Monkey is afraid of. When he shows up, the monkey flees, allowing Rational Decision-Maker to take the steering wheel once again.

"And this entire situation, with the three characters, this is the procrastinator's system," Urban explained. "It's not pretty, but in the end, it works."

Procrastination without deadlines is actually harder to manage

However, he added, there are actually two kinds of procrastination—the kind with a deadline, where The Panic Monster inevitably always shows up, and the kind where there is no deadline, which means The Panic Monster stays asleep.

"It's this long-term kind of procrastination that's much less visible and much less talked about than the funnier, short-term deadline-based kind," Urban shared. "It's usually suffered quietly and privately. And it can be the source of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness and regrets." He said that he had heard from people who struggle with this kind of procrastination and come to the conclusion: "The frustration is not that they couldn't achieve their dreams; it's that they weren't even able to start chasing them."

Urban concluded his talk by sharing a visual of boxes, each representing a week of a 90-year life.

"That's not that many boxes, especially since we've already used a bunch of those," he said. "So I think we need to all take a long, hard look at that calendar. We need to think about what we're really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating on something in life."

People in the comments appreciated feeling seen, even though many of them said they'd had the video saved to watch for months or years before finally getting around to it.

media.giphy.com

"Really the worst part of being a procrastinator is the guilt you endure everyday. Man it legit hurts."

"'The frustration wasn't that they couldn't achieve their dreams, but they weren't even able to start chasing them.' That one sentence has beautifully and effectively summed up my feelings in a way I haven't been able to."

"The worst feeling is being in the dark playground and something makes you think of the stuff you have to do. You just get that quick hit of anxiety."

"As a procrastinator I often feel like everybody else is moving forward and im just standing still."

"He just explained my whole life in 14 minutes."

Urban's talk doesn't offer much in the way of solving the procrastination problem, but he does have a whole long blog post on his website, complete with more illustrations, with advice for reducing the procrastination habit. Find his "How to Beat Procrastination" tips here.

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids.

The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase:

"When are you bringing them over?"

Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

via Pixabay

A middle-aged woman holding a baby.

A story that recently went viral on Reddit’s AITA forum asks an important question: What is a parent’s role in taking care of their grandchildren? The story is even further complicated because the woman at the center of the controversy is a stepparent.

The woman, 38, met her husband Sam, 47, ten years ago, when his daughter, Leah, 25, was 15. Five years ago, the couple got married after Leah had moved out to go to college.

Leah’s mom passed away when she was 10.

Last year, Leah became pregnant, and she wanted to keep the baby, but her boyfriend didn’t. After the disagreement, the boyfriend broke up with her. This forced Leah to move back home because she couldn’t afford to be a single parent and live alone on a teacher’s salary.


Leah’s story is experienced by many young mothers who are facing difficulties. The father isn’t involved in the baby’s life as a caretaker or financially. Sadly, 33% of all children in the U.S. are born without their biological fathers living in the home.

babies, young mother, moms

via Alexander Grey/Unsplash

The new mother is a teacher and can’t afford to live on her own with a child. A recent study found that out of the top 50 U.S. cities, Pittsburgh is the only one where a new teacher could afford rent.

The stressors of taking care of the baby made Leah realize she needed help.

“But once she had the baby around 4 months back, Leah seemed to realize having a baby is not the sunshine and rainbows she thought it was,” the woman wrote on Reddit. “She barely got any sleep during the last four months. All the while Sam was helping her with the baby while I did almost all chores myself.”

“Now her leave is ending. She did not want to leave the baby at daycare or with a nanny,” the woman continued. “Sam and I both work as well.”

Leah asked her stepmother if she would stay home with the baby. The stepmother said no because she never wanted to have a baby and she has a job. “I asked why Leah can't stay home with the baby herself,” the woman wrote. “She said how she was young and had to build a career. I said many people take breaks to raise kids, and she broke down crying about how she was so tired all the time being a mom and needed something else in her life too.”

babies, stemoms, reddit

​A middle-aged woman with a baby. 

via Pixabay

After the woman told her stepdaughter no, her husband pressured her to stay home with the baby. But she refused to give up her job to raise her stepdaughter’s child. “Leah said yesterday how she wished her mom was alive since she would have had her back. She said I didn't love her, and my husband is also mad at me,” the woman wrote. The woman asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for “refusing to help my stepdaughter with the baby,” and the community responded with rapturous support.

"[The woman] should tell her husband to knock it off and stop trying to pressure her into raising his daughter’s baby. If he wants a family member to look after her baby while she works, then he can do it," Heavy_Sand5228 wrote.

"This is Leah's baby that she alone chose to have. That doesn't obligate you to change YOUR life to suit her desires. The whole business of saying you don't love her because you won't quit your job to watch her baby is manipulative and messed up, and I'm shocked your husband is siding with her," SupremeCourtJust-a** added.

Leah and many women like her are in this situation because, in many places, teachers are underpaid, rent is high, and not all dads pay child support, even those required by law.

Another commenter noted that the baby is much more the father’s responsibility than the stepmother's. "To add, Leah should consider seeking child support from her ex. Her kid should be getting that money," Obiterdicta wrote.

This article originally appeared on 10.3.23

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.


How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsPeople coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”


conversation, arguments, communication tipsTwo men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

Albert Einstein writing on a blackboard.

There are some obvious ways to determine if someone is highly intelligent, like when you see them work out a complex trigonometry problem on a blackboard or when they can easily explain the science behind mRNA vaccines or dark matter.

But there are also those we meet at social gatherings who immediately make us think they are very smart. Usually, it isn’t because they are making a long-winded speech about the fall of the Roman Empire or explaining quarks. We know they are intelligent because of the way they interact with people and ideas.

A Redditor named SomethingAbout2020 asked people on the AskReddit forum to share the “non-obvious signs” that people are intelligent. Many of their responses centered around how highly intelligent people are open-minded, curious and don’t waste their time arguing with others.


Brilliant people are confident in what they know, consider other people’s opinions and readily admit when they don’t know the answer.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: What are the non-obvious signs of a smart person?

1. They know what they don't know

"They acknowledge areas where they lack knowledge."

"'Never pretend to know something when you don't' is something I always teach. It covers lying and ignorance."

2. They consider other people's ideas

"They’ll listen to the other's facts and points and take them into account when giving an objection."

"One of the best developers at my last job and manager of a project I was at is an extremely intelligent person. ... One thing I noticed is how he would take everyone's opinion into account. He would take my opinions into consideration even if I'm not a smarter person or know less about development."

3. They make you feel smart

"Talking to a dumb person will make you feel smart. Talking to a smart person will make you feel dumb. Talking to a very smart person will make you feel smart."

4. They see patterns

"Part of the reason smart people throughout history are well-known is because they discovered something new and figured out how to maximize its potential. Darwin was a guy who discovered a bunch of islands with slightly different animals. He then collected and analyzed that data to come up with the theory of evolution, which was largely correct. Einstein’s theory of relativity was based off of his observation that physics acted on everything equally. He figured out that “exceptions” were because of the way high-speed objects interact with the universe’s speed limit (the speed of light). He recognized these exceptions by gathering them and recognizing the pattern between them all, then created his theory of relativity based on that."



5. They consider multiple intelligences

"They realize not everyone is smart the same way. Your 'stupid hick neighbor' might have dropped out of school in 8th grade, but he can drive your car once and tell you exactly what's wrong, then fix it. That a**hole in school that had no empathy for anyone and showed no emotion made that sci-fi sh*t you thought would never be real. Yeah, she's dingy and her worldview is tiny, but she's the best teacher you've ever met and inspires tons of kids to go on and do great things with themselves. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here, really."

People who are super smart are probably familiar with Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. The theory suggests that people have more than just one type of just one type of intelligence, like being good at mathematics. Gardener says there are several, including musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and kinesthetic intelligence. This theory opens the door for people to appreciate different forms of intelligence that may not be of the academic variety.

6. They choose their battles

"When another person is not able to process something and, therefore, sticks with his opinion, after a few tries, the smart person just gives up. There is no use in trying to make someone understand something while they already have an uneducated opinion."

7. They speak to their audience

"They know how to explain concepts on just about any level, tailoring that level to their intended audience, and without coming across as condescending in any way."

"I heard a saying that went 'you have to be an expert to explain it simply.'"

8. They're confident in their intelligence

"Not constantly bragging about their intelligence. If they truly are smart, people can figure that out pretty quickly without them doing anything to show it."

"You generally only brag about things you're insecure about because you seek validation. If you are very comfortable with your intelligence then you may not care if someone misinterprets you and makes you look dumb or something. You have nothing to prove. That's not just for intelligence but for anything."

9. They're funny

"I think the smart people are even more funny than stupid people because smart people understand the complexity behind humor and can make their jokes reflect that."

Scientific studies show that people who are funny, especially those who have a dark sense of humor, are more intelligent than their not-so-funny peers. Researchers argue that it takes cognitive and emotional ability to make people laugh, and analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence.



10. They mind their own business

"This is a big one. They keep to themselves and deal with their own drama."

11. They aren't necessarily great students

"Believe it or not 'average' or 'above average' students are often smarter than those with straight A’s on the report cards. They do enough to pass well and get what they want but don’t let the academic system control them. Life isn’t all about booksmarts. This shows they are independent thinkers and don’t get wrapped up in designed systems. Not all, but many. Many kids who are forced to always be exceptional in school can end up the worst off and can develop deeper issues."

12. They are good listeners

"They actually listen to who they are talking to as opposed to waiting for their turn to talk."

13. Curiosity

"It really does seem to be one of the single greatest differentiators between average and smart."

14. Comfortable in silence

"Being comfortable enough to allow a moment of complete silence while you think when the natural instinct of most is to immediately start replying tells me that you are, at the very least, mindful of what you want to say."

15. Unattached to their opinions

"Most of the smart people I know are not pushy with their opinions; by contrast, most of the opinionated people I know are flaming morons. I don't know if there's a correlation there, but my anecdotal experience has always been that the more eager someone is to state their opinion, the less that opinion is probably worth."


This article originally appeared on 8.7.24
Joy

Men weigh in on the male equivalent of 'women's clothes don't have pockets'

"Why can’t I get a health/hygiene product that isn’t labeled something like 'grizzly bear fist fight sleep strips for tough men'?"

""Women’s products smell like things while men’s products smell like concepts."

Few moments make a woman's face light up than the moment she realizes a dress she's trying on has pockets. It's such a simple thing, but it's like a whole world of possibilities opens up as soon as she slides her hands into those pockets and spins.

That's because women's clothes of all kinds so often don't have pockets. Even pants that look like they have pockets don't actually have pockets half the time, or the pocket is so tiny you can't even squeeze a quarter into it. And there's no real reason for this baffling reality for women—but is there an equivalent complaint for men?

Men were asked to weigh in on the male equivalent of "Why do women's clothes not come with pockets?" and a surprising number weighed in.


Why do men's products have vague, hyper-masculine names?

If something is made for men, it can't just be named what it is. It has to be over-the-top manly sounding.

"Why can’t I get a health/hygiene product that isn’t labeled something like 'grizzly bear fist fight sleep strips for tough men'?"

"'Dude Wipes' that cost double what a generic wet wipe costs. I don't get how anyone justifies that kind of wasteful spending these days."

"Strongman Righteous Fury Personal Cleansing Wipes."

"Right?! What focus group decided I wanted to smell like a bear's leather glove? Why is the bear wearing gloves to begin with? Was it going to do crime? I'm really not the criming type."

"Women’s products smell like things while men’s products smell like concepts."

"You mean you don't want to, 'smell like naval diplomacy'?"

"Yeah it's annoying. Soap marketed for women usually has what it smells like right on the bottle, while soap for men do not. When the bottle says 'XTREME ARCTIC SPORT' or 'HYDRA ENERGETIC' I have no idea what to expect."

"I use Old Spice 'Fiji and palm tree.' No idea what either of those smell like in real life, but at least the words resemble actual smells."

Why is men's formal wear oh-so-hot?

Not the good kind of hot—the sweating-at-a-wedding kind of hot.

"Men’s formal wear is really hot. Like if we go to a fancy wedding in the summer, I’m in a suit and tie, my wife is in a tiny dress."

"Was in an August wedding, 30+ celsius outside, bride wanted all the groom's party in wool suits. That day was hell."

"Yep. Undershirt, then dress shirt, then vest, then suit jacket."

"it really sucks at summer funerals. at least at a wedding its not like super rude to take your jacket off and roll your sleeves up."

"It's not just formal wear. Men don't have any short clothes that are 'acceptable' as more than casual wear. In offices, women can wear skirts when it's hot out. Men have no equivalent - they just have to sit there sweating with pants on."

"Women like it warm but their formal clothes are skimpy.

Men like it cool but their formal clothes have many layers.

Seems like it should be the other way around. Suit jackets and tuxedos for women, sheer dresses for men."

Why such a lack of variety in men's clothing overall?

Women seem to have infinite choices when it comes to style, color, etc. Men's fashion is much more limited, both in variety and quantity.

"The lack of variety for mens clothing in stores. Women's clothing will fill up 90% of the store while men get a tiny closed off section like here ya go guys"

"In the back of the store, next to the clearance aisle and the bathrooms."

"If the shop has multiple floors, it's always the one furthest from the ground floor. Usually the men's section also has to share the floor with the kid's and home decor sections!"

"For some reason, I always seem to find the men's section right next to shoes, which is usually 90% women's shoes. And the women's shoe section is still larger than the entire men's clothing section."

"Also in gym clothes. I feel like women has a vast variety in all kinds of colors and patterns that look amazing.

Men can pick between black, gray, navy blue, and white. And definitely no patterns at all."

"Sometimes there is green. Also, there might be both light gray and dark gray."

Why do clothing manufacturers assume men grow out as they grow up?

People come in all sizes regardless of gender, but since men's clothing styles are more limited, their sizing issues are notable.

"Stores assuming that if you're over 6 feet tall, you must also be 6 feet wide."

"This is the bane of my existence. Especially for work uniforms. If I go medium-sized shirt, it's way too small. If I get a large, then it looks like I'm wearing a parachute."

"Men's shirts get wider with each size but not longer."

"Similarly, if your shoulders are wider, your gut must be bigger."

"And the sleeve length to size ratio is all over the place. Trying shirt on and it's a little snug and the cuffs are in the middle of your forearms. Go up a size and the torso fits but the sleeves dangle at your knees... or they still don't reach your wrists."

"Yes. The men’s shirt paradox.

-Long enough

- Wide enough

- Sleeves/cuffs the correct length

(Pick any 2, but you never get all 3)."

Men added other things as well, such as jewelry options for men being boring, men's dress shoes having zero traction whatsoever (same goes for women's dress shoes, to be fair), men's bathrooms not coming with changing tables, and how annoying non-elongated toilets are. Women have far more things than "clothes without pockets" they could add to a list as well, which just highlights how hilariously absurd some of these gender-based constructs are.