upworthy
More

Self-care during pregnancy is about much more than midnight munchies.

True
Healthy Essentials

I jolted awake, in a cold sweat and gasping for air.

I was midway through my much-wanted, much-anticipated pregnancy with our second child, and in retrospect, I can say with some certainty that I was experiencing antenatal depression (depression during pregnancy). Little did I know, depression during pregnancy is actually pretty common — up to a quarter of women may experience it. But at the time, I felt hopeless. I knew I wanted this baby, but the depression led me to fear that the pregnancy was a mistake. To wake from a dream about this baby not making it into the world, just to dream it, left me feeling certain that I didn’t deserve to be a mom.

Image via iStock.

Depression can rear its head for any number of reasons, and I don’t know that I could have prevented it, but I do know that I wasn’t taking good care of myself.

Mercifully, during the pregnancy, my hormones shifted again and the darkness passed. (Though my depression passed, it doesn't always, so contacting a health care professional can be essential.)And not long after, my little girl was born, and all those feelings of fear and hopelessness felt so distant that they didn’t seem real. I was so glad to have her. I felt so fortunate that she was mine.

Now, finding myself at the beginning of a third pregnancy, I'm excited but also a little nervous that prenatal depression could creep back in down the road.

I didn't experience depression during my first pregnancy, and I don't know what my third will hold. But during this pregnancy, I’m determined to make self-care a priority. Because my emotional health matters.

Not only to me and my husband, but also to my children and most definitely to the little one growing inside me. What I’m enduring matters.

Image via iStock.

My self-care will include more "me time," more social activities, more days vegging out (at-home spa hour with body yogurt, anyone?), and more time talking to my doctor about what I’m going through.

What everyone needs is different, and there are many places to start — from easy things like taking a walk around the block to ones that take more of a commitment, like learning how to say no (check out this list over at the HEALTHY ESSENTIALS® Program). I’m starting with daily meditation, deep breathing when I’m feeling overwhelmed, and a determination to have more girl time with my friends.

It wasn’t an easy lesson to learn, but now I know that sometimes it’s more than just "crazy pregnancy hormones." Sometimes my feelings are telling me something important. I’m finally ready to listen.

We don’t talk much about depression during pregnancy — isn’t it supposed to be a time of bonding and nesting and anticipation after all?

Image via iStock.

But according to the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, experiencing depression during that time isn’t exactly rare. Between 14% and 23% of women are reported to face some depression symptoms during pregnancy — but I have to wonder if those numbers would be higher if we weren’t so squeamish about the topic.

Your feelings are a big deal, but treating depression doesn't have to be. There are lots of approaches available for depression or anxiety that are safe for you and baby. And you shouldn't feel like you have to do it alone — doctors and therapists are there to help.

Image via iStock.

I'm a busy working mom, and we are in the middle of trying to sell our house. I know how hard it can be for us moms to find time for ourselves.

And when I leave the kids with my husband to have lunch with a friend, part of me feels guilty to even take a couple of hours for myself. But I know that by prioritizing self-care, I am investing in the well-being of my entire family. None of us likes the distracted and impatient mom I am when I’m burned out and overwhelmed, so I take some time for myself to make my time with my family so much better.

Nature

These 13 stunning photos won gold in the 2021 World Nature Photography Awards

See how talented photographers capture the beauty and wonder of our world.

Tom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

Photographers capture some of nature's best moments.

The World Nature Photography Awards showcase the best of nature's moments caught on camera, and each year, the world's best photographers compete for gold in a range of categories. In the 2021 photo contest, Amos Nachoum from the United States won the top cash prize award of $1,000 for his image of a leopard seal about to capture a defenseless gentoo penguin. Four years later, the images are still unforgettable.

Getting the split-second photo was no easy task. Nachoum had to wait for hours on the remote island of Plano, off the Antarctic Peninsula, for the right moment at low tide when the seals entered a lagoon to catch their prey. Unfortunately, the photo is one of the last moments of the young penguin’s life. “The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came,” Nachoum said in a statement.

leopard seal, penguin, nature photographyWorld Nature Photographer of the Year and Gold Winner in "Behavior - Mammals" — Amos Nachoum, USA Amos Nachoum/World Nature Photography Awards

Nachoun's full photo statement: "For hours, I waited for the low tide to arrive along a shallow lagoon on a remote island off the Antarctic Peninsula. Like clockwork, the leopard seal arrived in the lagoon just before low tide. It put its head in the water and looked just like a rock sitting in the receding water. The young Gentoo penguins only dare to enter the water when it is shallow and when they got close enough to the seal, it turned its head at lightning speed, catching one of the penguins by its feet and taking it to deep water. Once the seal reached open water, I followed it and swam parallel to it, observing its actions. To my surprise, it let go of the penguin twice. Each time, the seal chased after the penguin again, as if it was enjoying the game. The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came."

Other winners included a remarkable shot of a humpback whale just outside New York City, a majestic photo of an orangutan in a river, and an arctic fox braving the frozen tundra in Iceland.

The photographs are a wonderful example of the dedication and care taken by nature photographers, but they’re also a reminder of our duty to care for the environment.

“The World Nature Photography Awards were founded in the belief that we can all make small efforts to shape the future of our planet in a positive way and that photography can influence people to see the world from a different perspective and change their own habits for the good of the planet. 2021’s competition saw entries come in from 20 countries across 6 continents,” the World Nature Photography Awards said in a press release.

Here are the other photographers who won gold in the 2021 contest.

macaques, baby macaque, nature photographyGold Winner in "Animal Portraits" — Tom Vierus, FijiTom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

"Long-tailed macaques enjoy the warmth of each other during a hot day in Bali, Indonesia. These animals show very similar behaviour to us humans including enjoying each other trusting company. The macaques are used to humans and are commonly found around temples where they tend to feed on food sacrifices by the locals."

frog, pacific tree frog, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Amphibians and Reptiles" — Shayne Kaye, CanadaShayne Kaye/World Nature Photography Awards

"This shot came out of a 'nothing' outing to a local park. It was the middle of a sunny summer day with harsh light and little activity. After going out with low expectations, I came across this tiny Pacific Tree Frog on a flower. After waiting for it to move into a more photogenic position on the flower, and trying repeatedly to catch the mottled light through the tree’s leaves above it at exactly the right spot, I got exactly what I was hoping for. It proved to me that there’s really no bad time to head into nature with a camera!"

wildebeest, vulture, africa wildlife, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Birds" — Ashok Behera, Indiavia Ashok Behera/World Nature Photography Awards

"A wildebeest’s eyes being gorged by an African vulture, keenly watched by an African fox for an opportunity to scavenge. Taken at Masai Mara, Kenya."

red ants, reflection, nature photographyGold Winner in "Behavior - Invertebrates" — Chin Leong Teo, Singaporevia Chin Leong Teo/World Nature Photography Awards

"The common red ant is ingenious at traversing terrain. When front scout ants encounter a water obstacle, they intuitively form an "ant-bridge" with their bodies, so that their ant-mates at the back of the party can cross."

tuscany, italy, landscape photography, nature photographyGold Winner in "Nature Art" — Federico Testi, ItalyFederico Testi/World Nature Photography Awards

"The natural creativity of San Quirico d'orcia, in Tuscany, Italy. Waves, shapes and tone created by light, in harmony with the universe."

lake baikal, russia, ice, nature photographyGold Winner in "People and Nature" — Sabrina Inderbitzi, SwitzerlandSabrina Inderbitzi/World Nature Photography Awards

"I crawled into this ice cave on the totally frozen Lake Baikal in Russia. First I didn't like the fact that the car and the people were in the middle of my picture, but then on a second view I found it just perfect."

goa, india, hut, nature photographyGold Winner in "Plants and Fungi" — Gautam Kamat Bambolkar, IndiaGautam Kamat Bambolkar/World Nature Photography Awards

"Entrance to a room inside an abandoned house in Goa, India. It is fascinating how mother nature takes over from where man has left."

humpback whale, new york, ocean, nature photographyGold Winner in "Urban Wildlife" — Matthijs Noome, USAMatthijs Noome/World Nature Photography Awards

"Finally got the shot I wanted: a humpback's fluke with the New York City downtown skyline in the distance. As water quality measures and conservation efforts have started to show real results over the last years, humpback whales are becoming a common sight more and more in New York waters."

new zealand, mountain reflection, nature photographyGold Winner in "Planet Earth's Landscapes and Environments" — Sam Wilson, AustraliaSam Wilson/World Nature Photography Awards

"Travelling down random dirt roads can be so rewarding when you are greeted with scenes like this. Taken on South Island, New Zealand."

arctic fox, Iceland, black and white photography, nature photographyGold Winner in "Black and White" — Vince Burton, United KingdomVince Burton/World Nature Photography Awards

"A recent trip to Iceland where we were lucky to view and photograph the rare 'blue morph' Arctic fox. The weather conditions were extreme, but that didn't seem to bother the fox."


orangutan, wildlife, nature photographyGold Winner in "Animals in Their Habitat" — Thomas Vijayan, CanadaThomas Vijayan/World Nature Photography Awards

"Mature male orangutans have large flappy cheek-pads, known as flanges, a throat sac used to make loud verbalisations called long calls. Once they reach maturity, they spend most of their time alone, about 90%. I was lucky enough to get this fully-grown, matured orangutan giving me the best pose possible."


baby orangutan, wildlife rescue, nature photographyGold Winner in "Nature Photojournalism" — Alain Schroeder, BelgiumAlain Schroeder/World Nature Photography Awards

"Sibolangit, SOCP Quarantine Centre, North Sumatra, Indonesia. The whole SOCP team works together to prepare Brenda, an estimated 3-month-old female orangutan (she has no teeth yet), for surgery. A sedative is administered, the arm is shaved, her temperature is taken, while others hold her head or her hand out of compassion for the baby. During the three-hour procedure, Dr. Andreas Messikommer, a renowned orthopaedic surgeon invited from Switzerland, will place a pin and screws to secure the damaged humerus. Brenda was confiscated from a villager in Blang Pidie on the west coast of Aceh who was keeping her as a pet."

You can find the latest World Nature Photography Award contest detail and winners at worldnaturephotographyawards.com.

This article originally appeared four years ago.






From Your Site Articles
photography
Joy

People share subtle, tell-tale signs that someone's genuinely a good person

The "shopping cart theory" still lives.

Photo credit: Canva

Returning a shopping cart can be one subtle sign of a good person.

The world is filled with genuinely good people who care about their fellow human beings and always try to do the kind or honorable thing. Unfortunately, there are also some charlatans out there who may try to convince people they are good when they're not. Grifters, con men, and narcissists can pretend to be kind, loving, or scrupulous, but it's all in service of some selfish motive. So how can you tell the difference?

It's not always clear, especially at first, but there are some subtle indicators that a person's virtues are real and sincere. People shared the tell-tale signs that tell them a person is genuinely good, and it's a helpful list to run through if you find yourself questioning someone's true character.

from AskReddit

They can admit weakness and apologize

"They’re willing to admit when they were wrong or when they don’t know something."

"They authentically apologize when they are wrong or when they make a mistake without anyone asking them to. They can let go of ego for the sake of what is right. On the opposite side of the same coin, they have a forgiving nature."

"They hold themselves accountable for their actions. They apologize and try to make amends. Are willing to learn from their mistakes and misconceptions."

They do the right thing when it's not convenient

"One of my favorite sayings is 'Principles only mean something if you stand up for them when it’s inconvenient.' When people stand up for what’s right at a time when it isn’t convenient, that’s a good person."

"A favorite of mine as well. I’ve always heard it as 'Values aren’t values until they cost you something.'"

"It's easy to be a good person when things are easy. A true good person will remain good when they are angry, or scared, etc. If your morals evaporate under stress, you don't actually have morals."

kindness, helpfulness, good people, good personGoing out of your way to be kind is a sign of a good person.Photo credit: Canva

They're kind when they don't have to be

"They’re polite to people they have authority over."

"This is the one for me. Kind leaders are everything. Imagine if the leaders of the free world operated on this premise."

"They treat people that cannot do anything for them very well."

They speak well of others when they're not around to hear it

"Complimenting people behind their back."

"This is actually big. It’s super easy to gossip about someone behind their back but it’s always refreshing when people just have nice things to say about others even when they aren’t there."

"Or defending someone when someone is gossiping behind their back!"

i like him good guy GIF by Kim's ConvenienceGiphy

They are selflessly and anonymously kind

"They do good things for others without expecting something in return."

"And may I add that they do it without advertising their good deed, nothing on the internet, news paper, discussion with friends. They do it quietly and humbly."

"They do something kind without telling anyone else about it."

They include those who might feel left out

"They fill you in / include you in an existing convo that you’ve just joined."

"They are the one in the group who stops and waits for you while you to tie your shoe or they hold the door as the rest of the group keeps moving."

"When you say something that immediately gets talked over by the rest of the group or wasn't heard, and they make it a point to stop and add on to/ask what you said."

They return shopping carts

"They always put their shopping carts away."

"Returning your shopping cart. There are no laws that say you have to, & there’s no rewards for doing it either, it’s purely an act of selflessness to benefit the people who have to work at the store & take care of the parking lots/carts."

"Shopping cart theory! Is it polite to return the cart? Does it ease the workload of a stranger? Yes! Are we punished if we don't? No! It's a great litmus test for social responsibility."

Are these diehard rules for what makes a good person? No. Are there other things that could be added to this list? Yes. Can animals always tell if a person is good? Maybe. (People were split on that one, mainly because if an animal was mistreated by someone they may naturally fear or dislike a person who looks like their abuser. No fault of the person themselves.) However, this list can give us some clues about people's character and maybe even help us take a look in the mirror and assess our own.

From Your Site Articles
good people
Pets

Veterinarian lists 6 things pet owners do that 'give him the ick.' Pet parents, take note.

Though meant in good fun, these 'icks' contain some helpful pointers.

Photo credit: Canva

No pet owner wants to give their vet "the ick."

Ally McBeal first brought us the phrase “gives me the ick” back in 1999, and it’s had a resurgence in recent years, thanks to TikTok. While mostly reserved for describing annoyances in the dating world, the term can and has been used to describe virtually every red flag or pet peeve under the sun. Now, thanks to Dr. Frank Bozelka, we can enjoy a veterinarian version of “the icks.”

Just to be clear, the icks in question don’t come from the patients themselves…but the pet parents. While Dr. Bozelka is clearly just poking fun, he doesn’t shy away from highlighting some of the choices that pet parents make that cause some serious problems for their furry friends.

Ick #1 - Trusting a breeder's opinion over a vet’s

As Bozelka points out in his video caption, breeders “are not medical experts.” He added that while there are certainly knowledgeable breeders out there—even some who taught him breed specific tidbits—”most of the time you’re dealing with a backyard breeder who is literally just trying to dodge any responsibility.”

@dr.bozelkaervet

While there certainly are breeders that know their stuff, they are still not medical experts! Sure I’ve learned a few things from breeders about unique breeds I didn’t know, but it’s not very common. And the harsh reality of being a vet is that most of the time, you’re dealing with a backyard breeder that’s literally just trying to dodge any responsibility. So yes, our gut reaction when people say that is to cringe, sorry. I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE!!! DO! YOUR!! HOMEWORK!!! Make sure the breed is a good fit for your lifestyle, and make sure your lifestyle is a good fit for the breed! And for retractable leashes: I’ve seen far more injuries caused to dogs and humans from retractable leashes compared to other leashes. End of explanation. For number 6: stop complaining about the wait times. We know it’s frustrating. The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s other owners and the cases we are seeing. #fyp #comedyvideo #satire #doglover #catlover #petlover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka


Hence why his gut reaction when he hears someone refer to a breeder’s opinion as gospel is to “cringe.”

Even breeders agreed on this one. One wrote, “As a breeder I never give medical advice. I say: ‘please go see your vet.’ Maybe because I’m also a vet tech.”

Ick # 2 - Doing the opposite of what the vet says they would do

Next on the list: when someone asks, “If this were your dog what would you do?" then proceeds to do the opposite of what he’d do.

“Bro, why did you even ask me?” he says in the clip. Seriously, why ask if you're not even going to take the information to heart?

University Of Washington Dog GIF by Pac-12 NetworkGiphy

Ick # 3 - Not accommodating a dog that needs lots of activity

Some people desperately want, say, a husky dog because they're so beautiful and so smart. But breeds like that also have very high activity needs that require some pretty significant lifestyle changes. And yet, people complain when that same breed of dog is tearing up the house all the time because they're not giving them the physical activity outlets they require.

In other words, you can put a dog bred to race sleds through the snow into a 12' by 12' living room and expect them to just happily chill there.

Ick #4 - Buying a pet after doing zero research on the specific needs of the breed

Along the lines of the husky example, pet owners really need to understand the breed of animal they are getting.

“I cannot stress this enough: DO NOT JUST BUY A BREED BECAUSE IT’S CUTE! DO! YOUR! HOMEWORK!” Bozelka wrote in all caps.

Dog breeds in particular vary a lot and some have very specific needs that an owner may not be prepared to handle. Know what you're getting into before making a decade-plus long commitment to care for an animal.

@dr.bozelkaervet

True story… Legends has it that Hisoka aged another 2 years by the time she realized what was happening with him… Make sure to follow me on other platforms for when TikTok inevitably gets banned! YouTube: @Dr.BozelkaERvet1 Facebook and Instagram: @Dr.BozelkaERvet #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

Ick #5 - Complaining about wait times at the ER

No one wants to be made to wait when their animal needs to be seen, but there's only so much that is under the staff's control.

“We know it’s frustrating,” Bozelka writes, “The dirty truth, however, is the vast majority of the time it’s NOT the fault of the hospital staff. It’s the other owner and the cases we are seeing."

Ick #6 - Retractable leashes

Lastly, Dr. Bozelka listed retractable leashes as an ick, simply because they’re so dangerous. He’s seen “far more injuries caused” by them in comparison to other leashes, so better to be safe than sorry.

While not every vet might have the same icks as Bozelka, it’s easy to see how any one in his situation would be aggravated. Vets undergo years of education and training to help give our pets the best life possible. And when we make their job even harder, frustration is inevitable.

Dr. Bozelka has also shared things pet owners do that vets love:

@dr.bozelkaervet

Replying to @konagirl02 May not be mah best work, but it’s still important work! There are plenty of things pet owners can do to make us happy, and most of them are pretty simple! And TRUST me, for those of you that are understanding and considerate of the wait times, the vet staffs are literally singing your praises and blessing your family and friends behind close doors because of how amazing you are! Being polite and understanding about your wait is a sure fire way to get a staff to love you (at least from an ER standpoint). #fyp #comedyvideo #catlover #doglover #petlover #animallover #vetsoftiktok #drbozelka

According to the website KeepingItPawsome.com, there are a few other behaviors that vets find frustrating, including:

Overfeeding, trusting “Dr. Google” over their professional opinion, being verbally abusive or getting hysterical in the waiting room, not having pet insurance or an emergency fund, waiting too long before brining the pet in to get a check up, expecting free treatment or reduced fees, giving up on sick or old pets, trying medications or supplements without consulting them (again, Google can’t always be trusted), and last but not least—expecting a quick and easy fix.

Vets want what’s best for our fur babies. So these are good things to remember as pet parents, so that we may better help them help us.

This article originally appeared last year.


From Your Site Articles
pets
Family

Mom is mortified after her kindergartner tells the teacher what she does for a living

"So, this wasn't on my bingo card."

via Canva/Photos

A mom is embarrassed by her child.

One of the great joys and stresses of parenting is that you never know what will come out of your child’s mouth. When you have kids who are young and inquisitive, they can say really inappropriate things to people without knowing that they were being rude or possibly offensive. TikTok influencer Aurora McCausland (@auroramccausland), known for her DIY cleaning tips, recently told a funny story on the platform about how her son believes she makes a living. The problem was that she heard about it from her child's teacher.

@auroramccausland

so this wasn’t on my bingo card 🥲 #momlife #momtok #sahm #sahmlife #funnyvideo #fypシ

“The other day, I went and picked my five year old up from school and when I get to his classroom his teacher pulls me inside and says, ‘Hey, today he wanted to tell us about what Mommy does for work and said that Mommy makes videos in her bedroom but only when I'm [he’s] not at home,” McCausland recalled.

Given her body language while telling the story, McCausland was clearly mortified after hearing what her child said to his teacher. It makes it look like she may be posting videos to adult sites while her child is at work, which most people wouldn’t want their son’s teacher to know about.

The good news is that another teacher was there to clarify the young boy's comments by adding, “I think she makes TikTok videos.” The uncomfortable situation was a great invitation to chat with her son about what she does for a living. “So I have to have a conversation with my son about how he tells people what I do for work,” she finished her video.

teacher, funny teacher, teacher posing, kindergarten, funny kidsA teacher folding her hands.via Canva/Photos

The funny video went viral, earning over 1.7 million views on TikTok, and inspired many people to share the times when their children had funny ways of explaining their careers.

"My son told everyone that we were homeless (because we don’t own our home, we rent)," KBR wrote.

"I work in ortho.. my daughter told her teacher I steal people's knees bc she heard me talking to my husband about a knee replacement," Aingeal wrote.

"My son told a teacher we were living in our car over the summer. Camping. We went camping," Kera wrote.

"In kinder, my son thought Red Bull was alcohol and told his teacher I liked to have beer on the way to school," Ashley wrote.


"My niece told her teacher her mom and dad work at the wh*re house. They work at the courthouse," Ellis wrote.

"My husband works as a table games dealer at a casino. Kindergartener, 'Daddy's a Dealer!' We now start every school year clearly stating he works at the casino," CMAC

"My son said we lived in a crack house…There’s a tiny chip in the wall from the door knob," KNWerner wrote.

"My dad is a hospice chaplain and officiates a lot of funerals. My son and nephew were asked by their preschool teacher if their papa was retired or had a job. They told her his job was to kill people," Tiffyd wrote.

In the end, McCausland’s story is a fun reminder of how children see things through their own unique lens and, with total innocence, can say some of the funniest things. It’s also a great warning to parents everywhere: if you aren’t clear with your kids about what you do for a living, you may be setting yourself up for a very embarrassing misunderstanding.

From Your Site Articles
Parents
Love Stories

Researchers have been secretly studying who gets "the ick" and what it might say about you

"The ick" has been around for ages but never measured and analyzed. Until now.

Canva Photos

The ick: A sudden revulsion to a romantic partner over trivial behavior.

The first time I heard of "the ick" came from watching the hit Netflix show Nobody Wants This. In the show, Kristen Bell's character suddenly develops the ick for Adam Brody's character (whom she's dating) after a series of relatively minor faux pas as he's trying to impress her parents. He wears a cheesy sports coat and makes one-too-many corny jokes, to be precise. She suddenly finds herself repulsed by him, and insists that no one has "ever come back from the ick."

Adam Brody's character eventually wins her back over with an impressive display of emotional maturity, but it was a fascinating sequence nonetheless. It brought the term to the attention of a lot of viewers and catapulted it even higher into the zeitgeist.

A new study in the journal Personality and Individual Differences aims to shed light on this phenomenon, and the people who experience it.


dating, relationships, break ups, divorce, the ick, dating studyThe Ick even made it to JeopardyGiphy

For starters, let's define "the ick," or rather, let the authors of the study do it:

"The 'ick' 'is a sudden and visceral aversion to a romantic partner, often triggered by behaviors or characteristics that superficially signal incompatibility or low mate quality."

In other words, it's when a person says or does something that really skeeves you out or turns you off. It sounds a little silly, but the ick can be extremely powerful and tough for people to shake. That's because, as the authors note, whatever the behavior is that icked you out might signal that you're not a good match for this person, or that they're just a low quality partner in general. So in a sense, it's an evolutionary protection mechanism.

It seems extremely harsh that our bodies would be trained to reject partners at the slightest misstep, but in evolutionary terms, it makes a lot of sense:

"A false-positive error—accepting an incompatible partner—can drain resources, reduce reproductive success, and carry long-term relational consequences, whereas a false-negative error—rejecting a compatible partner—results in a missed opportunity but poses fewer immediate risks," the study says.

So if the guy you were into shows up in a fedora one day, it's probably best to show him the door posthaste. Better safe than sorry.

What causes the ick?


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It's usually brought on by things that, on the surface, seem pretty unimportant. We're not talking about cheating, emotional abuse, or being a bad person. It's much subtler than that. The researchers use lots of examples from TV to make their point:

"In Seinfeld ... Jerry is disgusted by his date's 'manly' hands; and in Sex and the City ... Carrie is revolted by a lover after learning he wrote her a love song."

But where the actual studying part of the study comes in is that the authors began inhaling TikTok videos where users discussed their experiences getting the ick, and they began rigorously categorizing the responses.

The real-life examples are even more nit-picky, like someone who licks their fingers before turning a page. Girls "tripping in public." A guy wearing jorts, or bending over too far and accidentally showing his butt crack. Or, in Adam Brody's case, wearing a sports coat. In many cases these simple (and hilarious!) things are death knells for a relationship once the ick sets in.

The researchers broke ick-inducing behaviors down into a few buckets: Gender incongruence, public embarrassment, or physical appearance. Believe it or not, physical appearance was not the most common! Gender incongruence — guys doing girly things, girls doing manly things — was the biggest category of ick-driving behavior. One girl said the guy she was dating gave her "the ick" when he laid his head on her shoulder affectionately.

Wow...

What getting "the ick" might say about you

disgust, inside out, the ick, dating, relationships, break ups, studies, scientific researchPrime candidate for The IckGiphy

The next part of the study involved recruiting participants who were willing to answer questions about their own experiences with this phenomenon. After thorough interviews, researchers narrowed down three traits that seem to indicate people are more likely to get "the ick,":

Narcissism. People who like to be the center of attention or otherwise display narcissistic tendencies were highly correlated in this study.

Perfectionism. Not perfectionism of the self, mind you! But people who scored highly on questions related to holding the people around them to exceptionally high standards were more prone to "the ick."

Disgust sensitivity. People were more likely to have experienced "the ick" if they answered strongly on questions relating to feeling disgust even outside of a dating or interpersonal sense. People who get exceptionally grossed out by disgusting things are more likely to experience revulsion at minor behaviors in a romantic partner.

Any of those things sound like you? If you're feeling judged, don't. Remember, getting icked-out by a partner isn't necessarily a bad thing. It could be an evolutionary response trying to protect you from making a bad choice (like having a baby with a weirdo). Though it's also important to remember this biological strategy also discards a lot of potentially great partners, so listen to your ick wisely — you might just want to give fedora guy another chance, after all.

From Your Site Articles
dating
Trending Stories