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Selena Gomez is once again a reminder on why we shouldn't comment on people's bodies

Someone else's body is none of your business.

Two photos of actress Selena Gomez
Photo Credit: Condé Nast|Wikimedia

Selena Gomez is a reminder on why body comments are off limits.

Commenting on someone's body should be off limits. Whether someone loses weight, gains weight or a stranger is larger than average or smaller than average, it's generally ideal to keep the opinion of someone else's body to yourself. But it seems that this is a hard lesson for people to learn, especially when it comes to celebrities.

Selena Gomez is often under scrutiny because of her appearance. Growing up in the public eye, people know she's has always been on the thinner side and feel obligated to point out when she gains weight without taking into account that she's no longer a 14-year-old child. The speculation and comments had reached such a point that Gomez decided to tackle it head on.

The "Love You Like a Love Song" singer took to social media and addressed her changing appearance in February 2023 where she explained that her lupus medications cause excess water retention.

"When I’m taking [the medicine], I tend to hold a lot of water weight and that happens very normally, and then when I'm off of it I tend to kind of lose weight," the star says in a resurfaced video of her TikTok live.

But for some reason, viewers once again seem to feel the need to discuss how thin she has gotten after seeing her on the red carpet for the SAG Awards. Several people accused the star of being on Ozempic, a diabetes medication that has been controversially used in recent years to double as a weight loss drug.

When an X account dedicated to updates on the star posted a side by side of Gomez last year and this year exclaiming that she's "aging like fine wine" and critics wasted no time to jump into the comments, with one writing, "I don't think ozempic is good for her lupus...."

Another writes, "Ozempic at work. I’ll put her on my Deadpool list," while another says, "Sag Awards proved all the Hollywood starlets are on Ozempic."

Many of the medications used to treat lupus cause weight gain, especially prolonged use of steroids like prednisone, which is often prescribed to treat lupus flares. As Gomez explained in 2023, the medications cause weight gain often through water retention and not an actual increase in fat deposits, so it makes sense that when she is no longer taking the medications, she drops the weight quickly.

The general public has also gone after Lizzo for her slimmer appearance in recent months, which has left some of Lizzo's fans confused. In previous years she was consistently attacked for being "too fat" while not being afraid to show off her larger figure. The singer became vegan in 2020, increased her dedication to working out and drinking plenty of water, and slowly began shedding the pounds over the years. Once her weight loss was evident, she too has been accused of using Ozempic by those who have not been following along on her five-year weight loss journey.

This sort of stuff doesn't just happen to celebrities either. You'll notice comments on social media about a stranger's body or witness it happen in the wild. I recently encountered this at a local nail salon when the woman was finishing up my manicure and during the hand massage portion decided that it would be the appropriate time to tell me I needed to eat something because, "your hands are so boney they're hurting me to massage you." Seems like a strange thing to say to someone who hasn't left a tip yet, but also strange to say to a stranger you've never met before, or to anyone at all.

Like Gomez, anyone could be going through something you know nothing about, whether it be an autoimmune disorder, which Gomez and I have in common, an eating disorder, chemotherapy, PCOS, or insulin resistance. There are many reasons people's bodies are thin, fat, or fluctuate but unless that person specifically asks for commentary on their physique, it's rarely ever appropriate to opine on someone else's body.

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Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

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Parenting

Mom shares 4-part secret to making her home "the house" for her son and his friends.

Con: They eat all your food. Pro: You'll learn to know and trust the people they spend their time with.

hi.im.amywhite/Instagram

I grew up in "the house." In high school, my home was the designated place where my friends gathered, sometimes in big groups, sometimes just my small core squad. My three best friends spent the night there almost every Friday and/or Saturday night for four years straight. We devoured Totino's frozen pizzas by the dozens, inhaled soda, and laid waste to any snacks or leftovers that were brave enough to exist somewhere in the kitchen. Not only that, but my house was pretty small — four teenage boys took up a lot of space in the living room (the whole thing) and made a lot of noise playing video games deep into the night. It must have driven my parents and older brothers crazy. It's a wonder anyone put up with it.

Or, so I thought when I was younger. When I became a parent myself, I started to understand a little more why my mom and dad were so willing to host and feed me and all my friends every single weekend. Why the outrageous grocery bill and constant chaos in the house was probably a small price to pay.

One mom has perfectly encapsulated why turning her home into "the house" for her son and his friends was so valuable and exactly how she did it.


Giphy

Amy White shared a reel on Instagram showing her college-aged son hanging in her dining room with a group of friends playing cards. The text overlay reads "What makes your kids high school friends want to come over, play cards & spend the night on their College Christmas Break". I think most parents can agree that we want our kids to keep coming home as long as possible! So how exactly did White pull this off?

Her explanation in the caption was spot-on.

First, White says that you have to start early. Become "the hang out house" in high school or even earlier. Then you have a better chance of holding onto the mantle into your kid's college years.

Next, be ready to stock the house with snacks and drinks, and don't make a fuss when your kid's friends have at it. "The kids knew we had food," she writes, "BUT they also knew I didn't care what they had. They knew they could eat anything in my pantry and fridge."

Third, and this is a big one, don't mistake being the "cool house" for being "the house." Some parents choose to allow their underage kids and friends to drink alcohol under their supervision, but you don't have to bend your morals and the law to lure the squad over to your place. Pizza and Coke is plenty to keep most teens happy. "We were not the house that served alcohol or even allowed the kids to bring alcohol to our house. And Guess What?? The kids still came and wanted to hang at our house!"

Fourth, always say Yes (as often as possible, anyway) when your kids want to have friends over. "They know my answer is 99% of the time YES," White writes. "You have to have your kids take the leadership of offering your home and if your home was 'open' to their friends in high school, they know it will be 'open' to their friends in college."

As a bonus tip, White pleas with parents not to worry about the mess having friends over makes. "I love a clean house and organization, BUT I would much rather have a crazy messy house for the kids where memories are made than a quiet house with nothing going on just to keep my house 'clean.'"

White writes, "It's worth being 'the house', so let go of control & get to know your kids friends." Commenters agreed.

White's video went viral to the tune of 8.5 million views and hundreds of comments. Parents shared their own experiences of what it's like being the default hang out house.

"Our house was the high school hangout for my son and friends... every weekend... I loved it!! Miss it now that they are all college graduates and have moved away. I love seeing them when they do come home for the holidays"

"A wise man once said don't be the house with the alcohol. Be the house with the food."


Teenagers will ravage your kitchenMichael Richards Eating GIFGiphy

"Amy 1000% agree!!! My house is full of teenagers on the weekends and I love every bit of it. Even though I wake up to a kitchen that looked much different from when I left it"

"we never allowed alcohol, drugs, bad language, always respectful, and guess what, our house was always the house where the kids hung out. First my daughter, then my son. Through grade school, high school, then when my kids went out of state for college their college friends would come spend a couple weeks during the summer. I always thought of it this way, I loved knowing my kids friends and, who knows, maybe some of those kids, especially during the younger years, just maybe those kids just needed an adult to care. Anyway, it was always fun to have them here!"

"It used to crack me up when my daughter would bring over a bunch of her friends (girls and boys) in high school and instead of hanging out in the family room they all wanted to crowd into either the kitchen with me or our tiny office and happily share all the gossip with me."

Experts say that knowing your kids' friends, and their parents, can have huge benefits. Not only will it bring you the peace of mind of knowing where your kid is and who they're with when they get to those crucial high school years, it has been shown to tangibly improve kids ability to create positive relationships and problem-solve collaboratively. Plus, it can actually be really fun! Kids and teens are the funniest, silliest, most interesting people on the planet. Having a house full of them is messy and loud, but it's always a good time.

Just "Don’t feel bad if your house isn’t the chosen house," one commenter reminds us. "Just be happy your kid has a good group of friends and be thankful they have somewhere safe to hang out."

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School responded to a parent's book complaint by reading it aloud to the entire student body

What possible issue could a parent have had with this book?

Jess Piper/Twitter

Schools often have to walk a fine line when it comes to parental complaints. Diverse backgrounds, beliefs, and preferences for what kids see and hear will always mean that schools can't please everyone all the time, so educators have to discern what's best for the whole, broad spectrum of kids in their care.

Sometimes, what's best is hard to discern. Sometimes it's absolutely not.

Such was the case when a parent at a St. Louis elementary school complained in a Facebook group about a book that was read to her 7-year-old. The parent wrote:

"Anyone else check out the read a loud book on Canvas for 2nd grade today? Ron's Big Mission was the book that was read out loud to my 7 year old. I caught this after she watched it bc I was working with my 3rd grader. I have called my daughters school. Parents, we have to preview what we are letting the kids see on there."

The book in question, "Ron's Big Mission," highlights a true story from the childhood of Challenger astronaut Ron McNair, who had experienced discrimination as a child in South Carolina because he was Black. In 1959, when he was nine years old, McNair wanted to check out books at the library, but the librarian told him the library didn't loan books to "coloreds." McNair refused to leave the library until he was allowed to check out books. Rather than give him a library card, the librarian called the police, who ultimately convinced her to just let him check out books.

Seriously, what issue could this parent possibly take with such an inspiring story of a kid standing up to injustice and fighting for the right to educate himself? This was a child who single-handedly changed a library's racial segregation policy and grew up to be an astronaut—a genuine, real-life hero. What is there to take issue with? The parent didn't specify, so we're left to conjecture, but if there's any other possible reason than racism, I can't think of one.

Rockwood Education Equity and Diversity Director Brittany Hogan told KMOX News Radio that after hearing of the complaint, other parents responded immediately in the book's defense.

"They were saying this is amazing that they were buying copies of the book," Hogan said. "One of our parents came out and said she was going to purchase a copy for every second-grader at the elementary school that her children attends."

Hogan called McNair a hero and said, "He deserves to be celebrated. His story deserves to be told to our children. It's important that we continue to move in a space that embeds diverse curriculum."

And the school responded in the best possible way—by announcing the book was going to be read aloud to the whole student body via Zoom. That's how you shut down a bigot. Boom.

Here's Pond Elementary Principal Carlos Diaz-Granados reading "Ron's Big Mission" to students via Zoom and sharing why he thinks it's an important book for kids:



- YouTubewww.youtube.com



This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Moving to a 4-day work week instead of raising pay? It's a smart move, apparently.

San Juan County took a gamble that’s paid off literally and figuratively.

Photo credit: Jelson25

Friday Harbor on San Juan Island, Washington

If you could choose between getting a pay raise or working fewer hours for the same pay, which would you choose? The added money or the added time off? What you'd choose may depend on your financial circumstances, of course, but assuming you make enough to live comfortably, what would you value more?

For employees of San Juan County, Washington, that choice wasn't exactly a choice, but the result speaks volumes. In October of 2023, the county faced a dilemma. Workers had demanded a pay raise, but the county wouldn't be able to do that without blowing the budget or raising taxes, which it didn't want to do. Instead, it implemented a 32-hour work week, meaning many employees could work a 4-hour work week and enjoy a 3-day weekend every weekend, but keep their pay the same. There were skeptics, of course, but six months later, a report showed that the move was a rousing success.

First, the county saved nearly a million dollars, which is definitely nothing to sneeze at. The county also saw an increase in job applications and were able to fill open positions 62% faster. The number of employees quitting or retiring dropped by 46%. Employees used 31% less sick time and 83% of employees said their work-life balance had improved. And those numbers were nearly the same in the 1-year check-in report.

"At the end of the day, money only does so much for you," Nadine Varsovia, who works in Human Resources told CBS News. "And what's the good of having money anyway if I can't use it to do anything for fun?"

In the report, the workers union shared glowing praise for the 32-hour work week a year in:

"The 32-hour work week win has been significant for our members. This groundbreaking approach is now being considered by other public agencies in Washington State. Represented employees are reporting a beneficial effect on job satisfaction and work life balance. While there continues to be a need to improve efficiencies and address concerns raised by staff, the overall response to the 32-hour work week at this one-year mark is mostly positive."

Overwhelmingly, the results have shown that it was a smart move. However, that doesn't mean every single person loves it. Some employees report that pressure to complete their work in a shorter period of time leads to stress, so it's not a panacea across the board. Residents, too have had to make some adjustments, as some county offices are now closed on Fridays.

It's been a life-changing shift for Varsovia, though, who says she wouldn't go back to a 40 hour work week even if she did get a pay raise. "Money is only worth so much. I'd rather have that time for myself," she told CBS.

As 4-day work weeks and 4-day school weeks become more common, the question of time vs. money is on a lot of people's minds. Many have come to the same conclusion: What good is extra money if you don't have time to enjoy it? A survey in 2023 found that Americans overwhelmingly value time over money vs. the opposite, though nearly half of respondents said they value both equally. If you don't have enough money, you may value money more because you feel the lack of it. Accordingly, by nearly every account, the wealthier people are the more they tend to value time more than money.

A 4-day work week might be a fabulous solution to the work-life balance problem so many people face, but it's not always practical or even possible in every industry. There is, however, a lot more room for creativity in how time and work are structured than people might think in many cases. Fear of trying something new or assumptions about what will or won't get done with a different schedule may hold companies or employers back from attempting a shift in hours, which is why data points like the ones San Juan Island has collected in the past year-plus are so helpful to see.

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Man shares two lessons he learned from disrupting a racist joke in a group of white people

"Can you speak up? Because our silence is not benign?"

Paul Scanlon/Facebook

Racist jokes are one of the more frustrating manifestations of racism. Jokes in general are meant to be a shared experience, a connection over a mutual sense of humor, a rush of feel-good chemicals that bond us to those around us through laughter.

So when you mix jokes with racism, the result is that racism becomes something light and fun, as opposed to the horrendous bane that it really is.

The harm done with racist humor isn't just the emotional hurt they can cause. When a group of white people shares jokes at the expense of a marginalized or oppressed racial group, the power of white supremacy is actually reinforced—not only because of the "punching down" nature of such humor, but because of the group dynamics that work in favor of maintaining the status quo.

British author and motivational speaker Paul Scanlon shared a story about interrupting a racist joke at a table of white people at an event in the U.S, and the lessons he drew from it illustrate this idea beautifully. Watch:



Speaking up in a group setting where people have an unspoken sense of solidarity is difficult. Giving up social capital and being seen as a breaking a code of sorts is uncomfortable. But that that difficulty and discomfort are not excuses for staying quiet. As Scanlon points out, our silence is not benign, it's malignant. Keeping quiet while a racist joke is being told and laughed at is harmful because it allows racism to go unchecked and white supremacy to remain secure.

An important point Scanlon makes is that not only do white folks allow harm to take place when we remain silent in the face of a friend, family member, colleague, or acquaintance making a racist joke, but we are actually rewarded for saying nothing. We maintain a sense of solidarity, we gain social capital, we're seeing as agreeable and establish a sense of belonging. Those rewards are an insidious form of racism that many white people aren't even aware we participate in. And we have to decide ahead of time that we're going to give up that reward and embrace the inevitable awkwardness in order to do the right thing.

We have to decide that ending racism is more important than embarrassment. The more people who stand firm in that decision, the less awkward it will become and the sooner we can redefine what social capital and solidarity really mean.


This article originally appeared on 6.30.20

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Female doctors share bikini pics after group of mostly male researchers deemed them 'inappropriate'

"I am good at my job, I am a professional. I am a doctor. I am also a human."

via Emily Casey / Twitter

It's no surprise that employers often look at job applicants' social media profiles before hiring them. According to CareerBuilder, 70% of employers "use social media to screen candidates before hiring."

It makes sense because social media profiles can reveal a lot about someone's true personality and employers don't want to take any unnecessary risks.

The Journal of Vascular Surgery did a study where it viewed the social media profiles of 235 medical residents to see if they had "unprofessional or potentially unprofessional content."

The study found that "One-half of recent and soon to be graduating vascular surgery trainees had an identifiable social media account with more than one-quarter of these containing unprofessional content."

The paper with a warning: "Young surgeons should be aware of the permanent public exposure of unprofessional content that can be accessed by peers, patients, and current/future employers."

via Science Direct

At first glance, this study seemed like it was helping graduates with their careers by warning them against social media posts that could get them into trouble. But the study created in a backlash from the medical community because it shamed female doctors.

The major bone of contention that medical professionals had with the study is that the team of predominantly male researchers said that "provocative posing in bikinis/swimwear," "provocative Halloween costumes," and "holding/ consuming alcohol" are all inappropriate.

via Dr M / Twitter

There's nothing wrong with a woman wearing a bikini or anyone having a beer in public, why did the study deem them inappropriate?

The paper inspired female medical professionals to push back against the study by posting shots of themselves in swimwear and imbibing adult beverages under #MedBikini.







Some male allies got in on the hashtag, too.

The backlash prompted one of the authors of the study, Dr. Jeff Siracuse, to apologize for the paper's framing.

"Our intent was to empower surgeons to be aware and then personally decide what may be easily available for our patients and colleagues to see about us social media," Siracuse wrote on Twitter.

"However, this was clearly not the result. We realize that the definition of professionalism is rapidly changing in medicine and that we need to support our trainees and surgeons as our society changes without the appearance of judgment."


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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