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'Unlimited screen time.' 'Ice cream for dinner.' 18 moms revealed their 'deep dark' secrets.

It's refreshing to hear the truth.

mom secrets, reddit, screen time
via Keira Burton/Pexels

Being a mom can be frustrating.

No parent is perfect, even though some social media stars and mommy bloggers want us to think they have it all figured out. In the real world, parenting isn't that easy. Every parent is beautifully imperfect, and every kid is delightfully quirky. So, as long as we do our best, it’s more than enough.

A Reddit user who goes by brookeaat wanted to feel better about how she has fallen short of parental perfection. So she asked the followers of the BreakingMom subforum to “share their mom secrets so that I don’t feel so bad about myself."

She started the conversation by leading with her dark secret. “Sometimes I give my 5-month-old a little bit of water (like a capful from a plastic water bottle),” she wrote. “She loves it so much, and since it’s such a tiny amount, I don’t mind, but I know most other moms would judge the sh** out of me if I said that.”

For those who didn’t know, pediatricians say that you shouldn’t feed a baby water until they are 6 months old. “It’s because babies’ bodies aren’t suited for water until several months after birth. Tiny tummies and developing kidneys put them at risk for both nutrient loss and water intoxication,” Healthline reports in a medically-reviewed article.

Many of the responses centered around screen time, and many moms admitted to allowing their kids to have as much as they like. That opposes the recommendations that children under 2 years old should have zero screen time and those over 2 years old no more than two hours a day.

Many moms also admitted that they have given up trying to feed their children consistently healthy meals, and they have given in to their kids’ desire to each chicken and french fries for every meal.

Here are 18 of the most revealing “deep dark” mom secrets the mothers admitted to on the Reddit post.

1.

"Sometimes I just seriously want everyone in my house to leave me the f**k alone." — transponster99

2.

"My 2.5yo had two slices of cheese and an ice cream sandwich for dinner." — GroundbreakingTale24

3.

"Oh man... I don't care what my child eats. I mean, I CARE. I TRY. But it's so draining for me to fight him about food. He turned 3 in April and you know what? He gets almost all of the important vitamins/nutrients from smoothies. I hide zucchini and carrots in banana bread. Spinach is tasteless in smoothies. Eats pasta. Refuses veggies most of the time. Will eat chicken if fried or in nugget form but no other meat and no other way. If my child is gonna sit there and eat a whole loaf of bread, I really do not care anymore. I DO care about his sugar consumption. That's all lol." — Inner-Membership-175

4.

"Screen time is ongoing at my place. I’m 37 weeks pregnant and I don’t think I could do toddlering without Blues Clues. When this baby comes, I def will continue the screen time. Survival." — MaleficentMouse666

5.

"I'm tired of being nice to my kid all the time. She is like, the nicest lil 6 year old ever. Nice to toddlers. Popular with all ages. Sticks up for others. Would literally give me her last bite of ice cream if I asked. But, oh, man, I want to scream I DONT F****** CARE!!! the next time she says 'Mom, look at me...' do whatever inane thing she's already done 10000x. I want to scream SHUT UP FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE every time she runs out of her limitless words and begins just making stupid noises to entertain herself. I want to say OMG I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU the next time she hits me with a weaponized 'you're weeelllcooom' when she does the barest minimum of anything and I'm supposed to fall over myself with gratitude. I want to ignore her every time she narrates her every friggin action to me, oh hey, she's telling me a riddle right now that makes no sense, oh god it's still going and I'm smiling and pretending to get it. Ha ha, that's a good one.
Seriously. The best kid ever. Teacher's favorite. Emotional intelligence far beyond her years. I'm a monster. I would never actually say any of this. But my poor brain, just let it hear itself think. Just let me be still. Let me stop having to react all the time." — throneofthornes

6.

"I regret having my oldest child. He has ruined my life and I’m stuck in a hellscape I never wanted for myself. My literal only hope some days is that he leaves at 18." — redtonks

7.

"My 11yo doesn’t have a bedtime or screen time restrictions (he has site/app restrictions)." — Its_Me_Jess

8.

"I rarely wash my kiddo's hair. I brush it and she takes baths daily, but I can’t justify her screaming every night." — Weekly Pie

9.

"I don’t usually bother to put anything more than a diaper on my one-year-old while we’re at home unless it’s cold or she’s going to bed. She eats in her pjs and they get covered in oatmeal, so I take them off and she just stays like that, not worth the fight and distress of the manhandling that she hates just so I can do even more laundry. Also, it’s interesting how even given the choice to watch as much TV and screens as she wants because I don’t limit it she watches only pretty much an hour a day." — PeachGotcha

10.

"I let my 2-year-old sleep on my butt most nights. He has a beautiful, woodland-themed bedroom complete with a large Montessori bed, camper-shaped tent, and Hatch machine.But he'd rather sleep to cat videos on the couch with my butt as a pillow." — Choice-Examination

11.

"Kids wear the same clothes for school and sleep 2 days straight because we bath every other day and I’m too lazy to change their clothes other than after bathing or if very dirty.

I only brush their teeth once a day.

I ditched safe sleep because my first had a horrible flat head, my second slept so much better in his stomach, and my third I didn’t even try safe sleep and I don’t feel guilty at all.

I also sometimes drink too much while watching the kids. That I feel guilty about." — babystay

12.

"I'd half charge the iPad and when the battery died, they were out of screen time for the day. Now they can turn on computers and the Xbox so they don't use the iPad anymore, but it always bought me enough time in the mornings to have some coffee and get ready." — CrimeBrulee_

13.

"My husband cleans the house while I breastfeed my kid to sleep. I almost always lay next to her for a bit longer and scroll on my phone and enjoy her presence until I can hear him finished, so that I don’t have to help." — HollyBethQ

14.

"My son slept in our bed until he was like 13 years old. Sometimes when he visits (he’s 23 now and turned out fine!) he will still get in my bed with me and read or watch videos. He also camps out in our bed (on my side) when I’m not there, so I think he just likes our bed." — Apprehensive_Set_151

15.

"I honestly can’t stand to be around my 8-year-old son anymore; I don’t like who he is. His behavior is awful and he does things purposely to shock and irritate me. He got mad and threw a toy at me the other night when I sent him to his room for time-out; he threw it so hard that it hit the floor and it bounced up and cut my leg. I feel like an awful mother/human being for feeling this way and it breaks my heart. I just don’t know what to do with him anymore. He’s in counseling and takes medication, but it only does so much." — NorwegianMuse

16.

"I let my 15-year-old drink. Sometimes. With family and food. If I, or my mother, has- cooked full, fancy, meal, and we’re all sitting down to with either a full bottle or a split, he can have a up to a glass with his meal." — [deleted]

17.

"I really don’t think I should have ever been a mom, I regret it a lot and wish I could do my life over. I do love my child with all my heart and try to do as best as I can and I will never let them know how I feel." — purplejanuary14

18.

"I just wanna say....I love all you ladies so much. This thread is hella refreshing!" — Bob-Bhlabla-esq







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Teacher goes above and beyond for a biology lesson by wearing an anatomically correct suit

That's one way to keep students engaged!

@mikemoratinos/X

Veronica Duque wearing her famous anatomy suit

Being an educator in the American public school system is one of the hardest jobs in our nation. Not only is the work itself challenging, but with constant battles for educational funding and a student body increasingly tethered to their electronic devices, most teachers in America and around the world are navigating uncharted territory when it comes to finding ways to keep their students engaged in their studies.

And that's why when Verónica Duque came across a form-fitting, anatomical bodysuit while doing some online shopping, she thought it would be perfect visual aid to convey vital information (pun intended) to her students in Spain, in a way they'd actually remember.

Turns out, the entire internet would remember it too.

Duque's husband tweeted a collage of images from the classroom lesson, which quickly went viral, with nearly 70,000 likes. Loosely translated, the tweet from her husband Michael reads: "Very proud of this volcano of ideas that I am lucky to have as a wife. Today she explained the human body to her students in a very original way. Great Veronica !!!"

In an interview with Bored Panda, Duque explained the thought process that led her to presenting her third-grade-class with a unique approach to learning.

"I was surfing the internet when an ad of an AliExpress swimsuit popped up," she said. "Knowing how hard it is for kids this young to visualize the disposition of internal organs, I thought it was worth giving it a try."

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonThis is a teacher who cares. assets.rebelmouse.io

Online retailers like Amazon have a number of similar anatomical bodysuits for sale. While most people apparently purchase them for Halloween costumes or as gag gifts, it's now likely that Duque's viral moment will inspire some other educators around the world to take a similar approach to teaching the body basics to their students.

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonHalloween costume, check. Amazon

While some on Twitter were critical of the suit, the vast majority have praised Duque for her innovative approach to teaching. And the anatomical bodysuit is reportedly far from her first creative endeavor in the classroom.

"I decided long ago to use disguises for history lessons," she told Bored Panda. "I'm also using cardboard crowns for my students to learn grammatical categories such as nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Different grammar kingdoms, so to say."

And when it comes to the inevitable, made-up controversy that tends to latch itself onto virtually anyone that goes viral, Duque said she says there's another far more controversial stereotype she hopes her brief moment of fame will help address.

"I'd like society to stop considering teachers to be lazy bureaucratic public servants," she said. "We're certainly not." Get this teacher a raise!

What really works about Duque's presentation is that it engages students in a sensorial experiences, which helps lessons stick (and let's face it, anything that engages he sense nowadays is a godsend). But there are other methods teachers/parents can try that don't involve wearing a suit with guts on 'em.

Here are some suggestions for hands-on "DIY experiments", courtesy of the Little Medical School website:

1. Building the respiratory system by creating a model lung with straws, balloons, bottles, and duct tape

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Sculpting Body parts with Play Doh

(Grab free printable mats on 123Homeschool4Me)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Build a functioning heart model

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, these lessons are a little more geared towards younger students, but at the same time, it could provide some inspiration for how to get students more involved in their own learning, just like Duque did.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Former Amish woman is showing people how to make cost effective food and it looks delicious

Homemade organic jelly out of three ingredients? Yes, please.

Photo credit: Canva and Wikimedia

Former Amish woman shows people how to make cost effective food

Making tasty organic foods can be a challenge, especially when you're cooking for children or you're on a tight budget. Let's face it: most of us have become used to the convenience of being able to pick up things like jelly or granola bars from the grocery store. Trying to eat healthier usually means breaking the budget and spending a lot of extra time reading ingredients on packaging, then researching what those ingredients actually are.

Of course, eating whole unprocessed foods like fruits and vegetables is always a healthy option, but they're just not as fun as the snack foods we've come to love. How can we get the fluffy deliciousness of giant Jet-Puffed marshmallows in a healthier version? Turns out Lovina Zook has the answer.

Zook grew up Swartzentruber Amish, so she was not exposed to technology or other modern conveniences until after she left the Amish religion. Fortunately for us, though, all the knowledge she gleaned from her simplistic childhood remains.

Zook has been using her knowledge of making homemade foods, treats, and everyday products to teach others on social media to make healthier, homemade versions of their guilty pleasures. Her simplistic recipes that are typically cost effective have been a huge hit; her how-to videos regularly rack up millions of views. Zook's video on making homemade butter has nearly 20 million views and the recipe is only two ingredients, heavy whipping cream and salt. In the video about making butter, she says that a gallon of cream makes 3 lbs. of butter and you're also left with a good amount of buttermilk which can be used for baking or making pancakes.

@literallyjust_a_girl Very easy and delicious!
♬ original sound - Lovina

One person commented, "She’s teaching everyone to live more affordably and i love this," Another wrote, "Girrrrrrrrrrllllllllll you are saving Americans money."

Zook's video on making three ingredient grape jelly has 17.4 million views. The recipe makes several jars of grape jelly by using really simple organic ingredients: organic grape juice, organic raw cane sugar (but white sugar will work as well), and pectin. She boils it up while whisking and, in a few minutes, she's pouring the liquid into mason jars. She turns them upside down to cool and when she comes back it's perfectly smooth grape jelly. Her recipe made five jars of jelly for likely the price of one jar of store-bought jelly.

"I don’t care what anyone says, this is the best beginner-to-intermediate cooking channel on TikTok," one viewer comments.

@literallyjust_a_girl This full recipe is in my Amish cookbook with 120+ other recipes on sale on my website right now
♬ original sound - Lovina

Another writes, "Amish food is the most organic, chemical free, delicious homemade food out there! We can definitely learn something from the Amish! Thanks for your videos and wisdom!"

In a few more recent videos, she shows her followers how to make homemade marshmallows, granola bars, graham crackers and even Velveeta cheese. Her page is a plethora of knowledge and affordable recipes that don't take a lot of time to learn.

As a show of support, people have also flocked to her page to shut down some viewers who were poking fun at her eye contact with the camera and accent.

@literallyjust_a_girl My Amish cookbook has over 150 recipes and is on a big sale right now only available on my website ➡️
♬ original sound - Lovina

As someone who grew up without access to technology, she's not accustomed to all the understood social norms of regular Internet use. As far as her accent, most Swartzentruber Amish speak Pennsylvania German, also known as Pennsylvania Dutch. It may be unique, but it doesn't stop her from sharing her knowledge.

One person writes in support of Zook, "I just saw somebody talk about how people were making fun of you for looking into the camera. Do not change who you are. You do great on here and don’t look down ever." Another person joined in by saying, "love this! please continue to educate us with these fantastic homemade recipes. And for everyone else who wants to step in with rude comments, please keep it to yourself and move on."

@literallyjust_a_girl Replying to @stronghandstogether ♬ original sound - Lovina

We certainly hope Zook continues to share her knowledge with the world as the economy changes and people aim to put healthier foods into their bodies. Since starting her page, Zook has been able to earn an income and recently released a digital cookbook that has more than 150 Amish recipes, many of which she has made on her social media pages. Hopefully she'll keep cooking and sharing secrets to eating healthy on a budget.

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American English includes one of the rarest sounds on Earth, but we use it all the time

Er…this is odd.

Photo credit: Canva

Learning to make sounds we didn't grow up with can be tricky.

When (or if) kids learn phonics at school, they're taught the symbols that go with sounds of their country's native language or languages. People all around the world grow up learning to make specific sounds with their mouths by imitating the language(s) they are immersed in, which can leave us completely unaware of how many other sounds there are until we hear a language that's far different from our own.

Even the common foreign languages that American school kids learn have sounds that can be tricky to get down. The rolled "r" in Spanish. The nuances of French vowel pronunciations. The glottal stops in German. The sound that's a mix between "r" and "l" in Japanese. And for people learning English, one of the trickiest sounds to get down is "er," as in the American pronunciation of "bird," "world," "summer," or "percent."

Oddly enough, for as common as the "er" sound is in English, it's linguistically rare. According to the Linguistics Channel @human1011, the "er" sound is found in less than 1% of the world's languages, rarer than the click consonants found in some languages in East and Southern Africa.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As rare as the sound is, there are a lot of people in the world who use it, mainly because it's also used in Mandarin Chinese, or at least many variations of it. So, while there aren't many languages that use it, by sheer numbers of people, it's not that uncommon.

"So, a sound that's so rare that it's in less than 1% of the world's languages just happens to exist in the two most spoken languages on Earth? Can that really be a coincidence?" the @human1011 video asks. Well, yes. English and Chinese don't share a common linguistic root, so those sounds just happened to evolve in very different parts of the planet. According to some people in the comments of the video, there are regional dialects in Brazil where the "er" sound is used and in certain parts of the Netherlands as well.

Pronouncing the "er" sound is hard if you don't grow up with it, largely because it's all about the placement and shape of the tongue inside the mouth combined with the way the lips are positioned. That combination is physically tricky to show someone. This video, from a non-native-English-speaker does a good job of explaining the mouth movements that create the sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

What's particularly interesting about the "er" sound in American English is that it functions as a vowel sound. Most of us learned that the vowels in English are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, and that's true as far as written vowels go, but vowel sounds are different. In the word "bird," the letter "i" is a vowel, but doesn't make any of the "i" sounds that we learned in school. Instead, the "ir" combine to make the "er" vowel sound. It's called an r-controlled vowel, and we see it in tons of words like "work," "were," "burn," "skirt," etc.

Learn something new every day, right?

Here's another video that explains the physical aspects of articulating the r-controlled vowel sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Most of us don't think about the fact that sounds we pronounce without even thinking about it have to be specifically learned and practiced by people who didn't grow up with them. It's not until we start trying to learn a language that's different from our own that we see how many sounds we have to work hard to make, sometimes even having to train our mouth muscles in ways they've never been used before.

It's also a good reminder to be patient and kind with people who are learning a language. It's not easy, and anyone making an effort to communicate in someone else's language deserves our grace and kudos.

You can follow @human1011 on YouTube for more interesting linguistics trivia.

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'Alone Australia' winner beautifully describes her grief after losing 3-year-old to cancer

"Death is a doorway…"

The Imperfect Podcast/Instagram (courtesy of Gina Chick)

Gina Chick shares her grief journey on The Imperfect Podcast.

Losing a child is every parent's worst fear, one that most of us don't dare try to imagine. But it happens, and there's wisdom in listening to those who have experienced it rather than avoiding the subject altogether. Everyone's grief journey is different, of course, and bereaved parents may be at any phase of that journey at any given time, but it's enlightening to hear from someone who's traveled far enough down their own path of grief to be able to reflect and put into words how it's affected them.

New Zealand author and Alone Australia winner Gina Chick is one of those people. She lost her three-year-old daughter Blaise to cancer 10 years ago and shares what coming to terms with that loss has been like for her.

"Having and losing Blaise has given me the resilience to dance with life in ways I never would have imagined," Chick wrote for ABC Australia in 2023. "Dancing with grief over the past decade has taught me how to be with what is, rather than what I wish could be. Or should be. It's taught me to turn a challenge inside out to find the blessing in the lesson."

Chick, who spent 67 days alone in the Tasmanian wilderness to win on Alone, was a guest on The Imperfect Podcast. When the host asked her what it's like to lose a child, her response was just beautiful.

"I can't say what it's like to lose a child, but I can say what it's like to lose mine," she said. "The actual losing part, death, is such a doorway. And a body without someone in it is like, oh, like I understood life by having my daughter not have it in her body anymore."

"It was such a visceral and profound experience. To be able to midwife her out of life with the same presence that we brought her in was beautiful," she said. "And I said yes. I said yes to the grief. I said yes to that journey. And it meant that whenever I was grieving, I just went with it."

Chick explains that she has expressed her grief in every possible way, which is what makes her able to talk about it so calmly now.

"I can honestly say that having her was the greatest gift of my life, and losing her was the second greatest gift of my life," she said. "Because of her and because of losing her, I am stronger, I am calmer, I have more presence, I have more ability to hold people, I have more compassion. I'm a much better human. And the gift of her leaving is a gift that I walk around with every day, so every person who I touch or speak to, that's her. So, it's like her gift is me in the world, or me in the world is her gift."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

People were deeply moved by her answer.

"I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything this profound and beautiful and brutal and uplifting."

"Beautiful words ❤️ I feel this very much! I lost my angel daughter 14 months ago."

"I'm stunned by this post that I just found while randomly scrolling. Your words have spoken what I have felt in my heart, but can rarely verbalise accurately. Kissing my son's forehead while he laid on the mortuary bench, I've never shaken off the knowing that even though I was holding and kissing him, *he* wasn't there. Also, I rarely say this, but perversely, his loss was the greatest gift I've ever had. His loss taught me about love and humanity in a way that I would never have learned in an entire lifetime of living. Thank you for this wonderful post. You've touched the heart of a stranger in Ireland with this, and I am grateful to you for it."

"Wow. this woman is the embodiment of what it is to be able to appreciate the depth of tragedy, sit with it, process it, and come out on the other side with having your understanding transformed without your heart being hardened. It's such a rare thing to be able to witness - thank you for sharing!"

grief, death, loss, gina chick, aloneGrieving the loss of a loved one is uniquely personal.Photo credit: Canva

Many people who have lost children or other close loved ones shared that Chick's words brought them a sense of peace. But the writer had more to say, adding additional commentary to her video after thousands of people responded.

"I’d like to add something, for anyone who is going through deep loss and has been touched or triggered by this reel…

Losing someone who is woven into your cells, your being, your entire life, is something I would never want anyone to feel. And yet, so many of us are here. Feeling the unfeelable. Accepting the unacceptable. Thinking the unthinkable. Bearing the unbearable.

I do not for one second think or say my journey is like anyone else’s. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. A heart print. We all do the best we can with what we have. Sometimes hopeless, sometimes numb, sometimes rage full, sometimes graceful, mostly graceless and clumsy and awful. Often all of these in one day. Hanging on by our fingernails. One day at a time.

In this clip I’ve spoken only about my journey and lessons. I don’t presume for a heartbeat that anyone else will have the same response. Grief has its own mystery.

For me, part of my journey has been a gradual acceptance of the gifts of grief. Grief is the flipside of the coin of love. The size of our grief is the size of our love for that which has been lost. That’s how big the pain is.

grief, love, grieving losing a loved one, losing a child, gina chick"Grief is the flipside of the coin of love." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

Leaning into it has brought me solace. For others it may be the opposite. Whatever gets us through, that’s all that matters.

We live in a culture that has lost its rituals and ceremonies. We don’t have a roadmap for grief.
People don’t know what to say to us. We can feel alone and lost.

I send deepest love and respect to anyone on this path of raw pure pain and loss, however it looks. I can’t know your individual flavour of pain, but I send you love, and I say I see you, and this sucks so hard, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you find some peace, somewhere, in the storm.

The gifts I’ve discovered here for myself are wrought in blood and anguish. I’ve collected them slowly, and they give me stepping stones through my grief. But I would be horrified to think anyone would compare their own process and think this is right or wrong. It’s just my way. Every path is the right one, because it’s ours.

grief, grief journey, path of healing, losing a loved one, gina chick"Every path is the right one, because it’s ours." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

I urge everyone on this thread to treat each other’s paths and hearts with exquisite kindness. The pain of losing someone who is part of you is indescribable.

Let’s hold each other with tenderness and compassion, and be each other’s lights in the dark."

You can find more of Gina's grief journey in her book, We Are the Stars: A misfit's story of love, connection and the glorious power of letting gohere, and on her website ginachick.com.

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Mom exposes 5 reasons why girls are skipping the tween phase, going straight from child to teenager

Kids used to watch Hannah Montana; now they're obsessed with their skincare routines.

via Canva/Photos

Tweens reading their composition books to each other.

Have you heard the recent stories about nine-year-old girls who have become obsessed with skincare routines? These days, instead of wanting to get a gift certificate to Claire’s for their birthday, they prefer Sephora. How about the 10-year-olds obsessed with watching adult shows on Netflix instead of age-appropriate content on Disney+? It's all evidence of a disturbing trend: young girls seem to be growing up faster and skipping the awkward tween phase altogether.

Ashley Embers, a parenting YouTuber with over 127,000 subscribers, explored this topic in a compelling video that gives five reasons why young girls are skipping the valuable tween phase and acting like teenagers. This troubling trend is caused by changes in media, marketing, smartphone use, and how young girls socialize.

Why are tweens acting more like teenagers?

“This small sliver of time between childhood and teenage life was once a transitional phase where children would start to find their place in the world, but now they bypass their awkward stage altogether and jump straight into behaving like adults,” Embers opens her video.

Here are Ashley Embers' five reasons why childhood is being cut short for many tween girls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

1. Tweens are abandoned by retail

“One of the reasons that preteens have fizzled out is because they don't have designated stores for them anymore,” Embers says. Growing up, when departing from childhood, you would get stores designed explicitly for that transition into teenhood. Think Pink by Victoria's Secret, Claire's, Justice, and Ardene. These stores got you out of the childish styles of clothing and accessories while still keeping everything age-appropriate.”

2. Social media has a bigger influence on tween fashion

“A big reason for the lack of preteen stores is because children's fashion influence is now coming from TikTok and Instagram rather than their peers at school,” Embers says. "The problem is that most of the creators on these platforms are over the age of 13, unless you go through the loophole of having a parent-run account, and this means that the kids who are going on these platforms are being influenced primarily by adults and teenagers.”

tween, pre-teen, girls 9 to 12, tween fashion, girls, middle schoolTween girls volunteering.via Canva/Photos


3. The demise of pre-teen media

In the video, Embers says that two types of media are just not as relevant for preteens anymore: television shows, specifically Disney programming, and magazines such as Tiger Beat or J-14.

"The cream of the crop was the Disney Channel. The shows from Disney were iconic and such a big part of so many people's upbringing, think of Lizzie McGuire, Ned's Declassified, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, That's So Raven," Embers says. "The thing that made these shows so special is that they taught us about the transition from childhood to adulthood. They addressed things like crushes, navigating cliques in school, conflict with friends and parents, and just finding out who you are, and what you want to be."

Embers says that kids watched these shows after school and could talk about them with their friends the next day or watch them together. But nowadays, people watch television at their own pace, and that communal spirit is gone.


4. Advertising has changed

There has been a significant shift in how tweens interact with advertising in the era of social media. The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act was passed in 1998, which prohibits social media platforms or online services directed at children under 13. Embers says that even though kids 13 and under shouldn’t be using many of these online platforms, they still do and are exposed to advertising for adult products, because it’s illegal to sell them anything else. This has affected tween tastes by making them advanced for their age. “We got ads for things like toys and games, and kids now are getting ads for Stanley Cups and wrinkle-free straws,” Embers says.


5. Overexposure to crisis

Once a tween is given a smartphone or their friends have them, they are exposed to many of the world's horrors. This causes them to lose the innocence of childhood and become worried about politics, natural disasters, inequality, and violent crime at a time when their brains aren’t developed enough to process them.

"There is increased exposure to violent or sexual content at a younger age which causes a desensitization and normalization because children's brains aren't fully developed to process this in a way that an adult brain can," Dr. Willough Jenkins, an inpatient director of psychiatry at Rady Children's Hospital, San Diego, said, according to Embers.

Embers’ reasoning for the end of the tween era may be distressing to many. Still, she concludes the video with a silver lining: schools and parents are beginning to crack down on smartphone use among tweens and teens, and we may be on the precipice of positive change. "The effects we're seeing of social media on kids are still so new that there's still time to rewrite the story for these kids," she says. "With all the research coming out about the damages of phones on children, things are starting to change."

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