upworthy
Equality

A useful response to the bigoted copy-and-paste post your  acquaintances keep sharing

A useful response to the bigoted copy-and-paste post your  acquaintances keep sharing

The U.S. has long engaged in discussions and debates over civil rights and social justice—issues that certainly don't seem like they should be controversial, but somehow turn out to be. In an ideal world, no one would ever have to fight for their rights or beg for equal justice, but we've never lived in an ideal world. And while much of the work that needs to be done to get there lies at the level of systems and institutions, those systems and institutions are run and upheld by people. So by extension, people's individual beliefs and attitudes matter.

A post shared on Reddit shows a viral copy-and-paste post that has been circulating on social media that reads:



"YOU KNOW FOLKS, I never cared that you were gay, until you started shoving it down my throat, and I never cared what color you were, till you started blaming me for your problems, and I never cared about your political affiliation, until you started condemning me for mine. I really never even cared where you were born, until you wanted to erase my history, and blame my ancestors for your problems...you know I never even cared if your beliefs were different than mine, until you said my beliefs were wrong, but now I care, my patience and tolerence [sic] are gone, and I am not alone in feeling this, there are millions of us who feel like this..."

u/beerbellybegone/Reddit

The screenshot was shared along with a response that the poster called "as devastating a response as they come." It reads:

"'I never cared that you were gay, I just supported laws making it a felony for you to have sex with the partner of your choices, preventing you from marrying who you love, stopping you from adopting children, and saying it was okay to fire you for being gay. ESPECIALLY if you're in the military, where I wanted firing you to be a requirement.'

'I never cared what color you were, I just made excuses for discrimination against you in hiring and law enforcement and fetishized a movement that fought and lost a war to keep you from being treated as human beings with actual rights.'

'I never cared about your political affiliation as long as you shut up about it and let mine have total control of the government.'

'I never cared about your beliefs as long as you let me use the government to impose mine.'

'And when I say all my patience and tolerance are gone, I mean I never had any in the first place.'

Fixed it for you."

u/beerbellybegone/Reddit

The most interesting thing about the initial post is the sense of victimization coming from the original poster. It seems to say that having to pay attention to issues of justice and civil rights and being asked to acknowledge the ongoing impact of historical oppression and what role each of us might play in keeping others down somehow takes something away from them.

Being asked to see and care about victims of injustice doesn't make you a victim yourself. The logic there is so strange. And what does it mean to shove being gay down someone's throat? Because of course it would be reasonable to push back against someone actually cramming something down your throat, but the in this context "shove it down my throat" usually means "did something publicly in my line of vision." Not the same thing.

As a few commenters explained:

"The trouble is that the top phrases are all dog whistles. For example, 'shoving (being gay) down one's throat' is simply another term for being gay in a public space. This can range from being openly gay, mentioning your boyfriend to a coworker, etc to calling yourself a sparkle fairy or whatever. It's not just the literal definition of what they say, but how these terms are used in real life."

"I spend so much time surrounded by straight guys who talk about nothing except women's bodies and sex, but my pride flag bumper sticker is apparently throwing my sexuality in people's throats."

"Ok, so I am a lesbian, in the relationship with the woman who is now my wife and the mother of my children for the last almost 2 decades (for reference that I really do have a ton of experience), and from personal experience when people say 'don't cram it down my throat' they mean 'stay in the closet'. When I talk about my relationship at work, it is 'cramming things down their throat'. When I hold her hand in public, same deal. When the laws about marriage were discussed, it was 'cramming down their throats', when health insurance was being discussed - the same, same again when adoption was discussed. As soon as being a lesbian was equal to being not lesbian, all of a sudden I appear to have stopped 'cramming' anything anywhere."

Another commenter summed up the gist of the initial post in one sentence.

"I never cared about other people being different because society used to make it easy to pretend they didn't exist."

The thing is, the complaints in the original post are not actual complaints. People being gay in public isn't cramming it down people's throats. People pointing out all of the insidious ways ingrained white supremacy works is not blaming an individual for their problems. Pointing out that someone's political views or affiliation are doing real harm to real people could be seen as condemnation, but shouldn't things that harm people be condemned? And as for erasing history, that's a hard no. No one is erasing history, because 1) that's literally not possible and 2) a good portion of our history has been "erased" through omission or dishonesty, such as school textbooks referring to enslaved people as "workers." All that's being asked if for history to be taught accurately and for the heinous parts of our history not to be celebrated with monuments to it. And as for patience and tolerance, the irony of a person who clearly doesn't fit into the marginalized categories of people they are addressing saying they've lost both simply because they're being asked to actually care about the ways people have been and still are experiencing injustice is quite rich.

No one is asking people to care about their sexual orientation or race or religion political affiliation or beliefs. They're asking people to care about those things being used as excuses or tools discrimination. Until we have actually achieved equal justice and society no longer tacitly accepts or perpetuates people being marginalized due to race, sexual orientation, gender, or non-harmful beliefs, we have to care about those things.

Veronica Duque wearing her famous anatomy suit

Being an educator in the American public school system is one of the hardest jobs in our nation. Not only is the work itself challenging, but with constant battles for educational funding and a student body increasingly tethered to their electronic devices, most teachers in America and around the world are navigating uncharted territory when it comes to finding ways to keep their students engaged in their studies.

And that's why when Verónica Duque came across a form-fitting, anatomical bodysuit while doing some online shopping, she thought it would be perfect visual aid to convey vital information (pun intended) to her students in Spain, in a way they'd actually remember.

Turns out, the entire internet would remember it too.

Duque's husband tweeted a collage of images from the classroom lesson, which quickly went viral, with nearly 70,000 likes. Loosely translated, the tweet from her husband Michael reads: "Very proud of this volcano of ideas that I am lucky to have as a wife. Today she explained the human body to her students in a very original way. Great Veronica !!!"

In an interview with Bored Panda, Duque explained the thought process that led her to presenting her third-grade-class with a unique approach to learning.

"I was surfing the internet when an ad of an AliExpress swimsuit popped up," she said. "Knowing how hard it is for kids this young to visualize the disposition of internal organs, I thought it was worth giving it a try."

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonThis is a teacher who cares. assets.rebelmouse.io

Online retailers like Amazon have a number of similar anatomical bodysuits for sale. While most people apparently purchase them for Halloween costumes or as gag gifts, it's now likely that Duque's viral moment will inspire some other educators around the world to take a similar approach to teaching the body basics to their students.

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonHalloween costume, check. Amazon

While some on Twitter were critical of the suit, the vast majority have praised Duque for her innovative approach to teaching. And the anatomical bodysuit is reportedly far from her first creative endeavor in the classroom.

"I decided long ago to use disguises for history lessons," she told Bored Panda. "I'm also using cardboard crowns for my students to learn grammatical categories such as nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Different grammar kingdoms, so to say."

And when it comes to the inevitable, made-up controversy that tends to latch itself onto virtually anyone that goes viral, Duque said she says there's another far more controversial stereotype she hopes her brief moment of fame will help address.

"I'd like society to stop considering teachers to be lazy bureaucratic public servants," she said. "We're certainly not." Get this teacher a raise!

What really works about Duque's presentation is that it engages students in a sensorial experiences, which helps lessons stick (and let's face it, anything that engages he sense nowadays is a godsend). But there are other methods teachers/parents can try that don't involve wearing a suit with guts on 'em.

Here are some suggestions for hands-on "DIY experiments", courtesy of the Little Medical School website:

1. Building the respiratory system by creating a model lung with straws, balloons, bottles, and duct tape

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Sculpting Body parts with Play Doh

(Grab free printable mats on 123Homeschool4Me)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Build a functioning heart model

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, these lessons are a little more geared towards younger students, but at the same time, it could provide some inspiration for how to get students more involved in their own learning, just like Duque did.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

Humor

Comedian Josh Johnson perfectly describes what it's like to be broke in today's America

"My friend turns to me and says, 'Josh, you must not mind the rain.'"

Josh Johnson.

Income inequality isn't exactly new. However, it seems more people are aware of it than ever. In fact, according to a Pew Research poll that surveyed 36 countries, a "median of 54% of adults across the nations surveyed say the gap between the rich and the poor is a very big problem in their country."

Money, hundred dollars, hundred dollar bills, wealth, richWealth Inequality is a rampant problem. Photo by Giorgio Trovato on Unsplash

The good news is people are learning to educate themselves—from financial planning to paying attention to where special interest money goes in terms of political leaders. But still, for many of us, it's hard to understand what it must be like to be wealthy when we've never had real wealth. Without having a lived-in experience, even the concept of money itself can be difficult to grasp.

Comedian Josh Johnson, who is also a correspondent and writer on The Daily Show, is an expert at taking complex notions and putting them into hilarious context through his long-form comedic storytelling. In a TikTok clip labeled "That Time I Almost Drowned," Josh begins by talking about the literal fabric of money. "We look at money as paper, right? At least when it's in its physical form, it's this paper thing. But it's more than paper. There's fabric that weaves into it. There's linen, there's cotton."

@joshjohnsoncomedy

I Almost Drowned At A Party

Josh likens the actual fabric of money to society. "It works the same way that society works. There's fabric that weaves all of us together." He adds, "But there are people who have not been able to participate in the opportunities of making money...so when you tell them a recession is coming, they're like, 'What? Okay. I was already broke.'"

He proceeds to illustrate with a story. "One time, I was at a party with my friends, and I fell in the pool." He makes sure to note that it wasn't a "pool party" and, therefore, deeply embarrassing. But more than that, "terrifying," because he reveals, "I can't swim. And when you don't swim, being surrounded by water out of nowhere is very concerning."

swim, pool, water, party, story, Summer Fall GIF by Mark RoberGiphy

He describes the sudden shock of the water. "I feel like I turned around, and water surrounded me." What he did next was not so much swim, but rather "drown," and he hilariously describes his friend fishing him out of the pool like a cat picking up its kitten. Wet and still in shock, Josh understandably wanted to leave immediately. But "the dude who saved me was my ride... and now has 'mack points' and begins to use them to hit on people."

When they finally try to leave, alongside a few other friends, his car won't start. "Luckily, he did live close enough to the party that we could walk. It was maybe a mile and some change. And as we start walking, it starts drizzling... and then really starts raining." After describing how his various friends responded to the rain (one hunched into "turtle" position and another put one hand over his head), Josh has an epiphany: "My friend turns to me and says, 'Josh, you must not mind the rain.' And I was like, I almost drowned 20 minutes ago. And THAT'S what it's like when you're broke. You're almost drowning all the time. So when people try to scare you with talks of a recession, you're like, 'Why would I... what?'” He puts a hand over his head. "You're doing this... I'm already WET!"

rain, drowning, drown, downpour, metaphorRaining Stick Figure GIF by State ChampsGiphy

Many in the comment section truly empathize, and there seems to be comfort in being "seen." One fan wrote, "This is incredible. You're the Kendrick Lamar of comedy." Another said, "This is such a good way to explain it."

One top commenter perfectly sums it up: "What is loss to a man who has nothing? What's a little rain to a drowning man?"

Learning to make sounds we didn't grow up with can be tricky.

When (or if) kids learn phonics at school, they're taught the symbols that go with sounds of their country's native language or languages. People all around the world grow up learning to make specific sounds with their mouths by imitating the language(s) they are immersed in, which can leave us completely unaware of how many other sounds there are until we hear a language that's far different from our own.

Even the common foreign languages that American school kids learn have sounds that can be tricky to get down. The rolled "r" in Spanish. The nuances of French vowel pronunciations. The glottal stops in German. The sound that's a mix between "r" and "l" in Japanese. And for people learning English, one of the trickiest sounds to get down is "er," as in the American pronunciation of "bird," "world," "summer," or "percent."

Oddly enough, for as common as the "er" sound is in English, it's linguistically rare. According to the Linguistics Channel @human1011, the "er" sound is found in less than 1% of the world's languages, rarer than the click consonants found in some languages in East and Southern Africa.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As rare as the sound is, there are a lot of people in the world who use it, mainly because it's also used in Mandarin Chinese, or at least many variations of it. So, while there aren't many languages that use it, by sheer numbers of people, it's not that uncommon.

"So, a sound that's so rare that it's in less than 1% of the world's languages just happens to exist in the two most spoken languages on Earth? Can that really be a coincidence?" the @human1011 video asks. Well, yes. English and Chinese don't share a common linguistic root, so those sounds just happened to evolve in very different parts of the planet. According to some people in the comments of the video, there are regional dialects in Brazil where the "er" sound is used and in certain parts of the Netherlands as well.

Pronouncing the "er" sound is hard if you don't grow up with it, largely because it's all about the placement and shape of the tongue inside the mouth combined with the way the lips are positioned. That combination is physically tricky to show someone. This video, from a non-native-English-speaker does a good job of explaining the mouth movements that create the sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

What's particularly interesting about the "er" sound in American English is that it functions as a vowel sound. Most of us learned that the vowels in English are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, and that's true as far as written vowels go, but vowel sounds are different. In the word "bird," the letter "i" is a vowel, but doesn't make any of the "i" sounds that we learned in school. Instead, the "ir" combine to make the "er" vowel sound. It's called an r-controlled vowel, and we see it in tons of words like "work," "were," "burn," "skirt," etc.

Learn something new every day, right?

Here's another video that explains the physical aspects of articulating the r-controlled vowel sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Most of us don't think about the fact that sounds we pronounce without even thinking about it have to be specifically learned and practiced by people who didn't grow up with them. It's not until we start trying to learn a language that's different from our own that we see how many sounds we have to work hard to make, sometimes even having to train our mouth muscles in ways they've never been used before.

It's also a good reminder to be patient and kind with people who are learning a language. It's not easy, and anyone making an effort to communicate in someone else's language deserves our grace and kudos.

You can follow @human1011 on YouTube for more interesting linguistics trivia.

"Here's the story of how we created a lush habitat garden."

Nature is healing. After a century of rampant urbanization—deforestation, invasive species, paving paradise and putting up a parking lot—we’re finally coming back to our roots. In Southern California, a mother-daughter design team is leading the way, teaching the public and their clients how to transform ordinary outdoor areas into extraordinary plant sanctuaries. In a viral TikTok video, Donna and Caitlin Whelan demonstrate how they created a lush habitat garden out of an ordinary backyard. It’s captured the hearts of green-thumbed viewers and offers an inside look into the process of eco-friendly landscaping.

Trust the process

Donna and Caitlin run Whelan Design House, a boutique interior design firm that specializes in high-end projects. Drawing on their combined talents and impeccable taste, this mother-daughter team create beautiful living spaces with a human-centered approach. Their commitment to healthy environments shines through in their design philosophy. As they state on their website, "Our world is full of synthetic materials, but we believe there are other options. We guide our clients toward sustainable and environmentally respectful choices and away from chemical-laden fabrics and unhealthy materials."

grass, backyard space, bare, old, before pictureWhere we started.TikTok

Which brings us to the viral backyard renovation. This was more than just a design project: it’s a masterclass in the power of family bonds and environmental innovation. The 18-part video begins with a plain, unremarkable yard. “This is how it looked when we started,” they write. “The grass wasn’t providing anything for the local [ecosystem], and it required way too much water to maintain.”

America has a “perfect lawn” problem. Dreams of white picket fences and a manicured lawn have driven the country into a “green, monoculture carpet,” and our human-dominated landscape is no longer equipped to support functional ecosystems. Like everything else in life, our front lawns do not exist in a vacuum. Everything, from the trees to the flowers to the grass to the soil, all work harmoniously to create a thriving home for insects, birds, and other wild creatures. But when native species are replaced with alien ones, these exotic plants disrupt the flow of life, wreaking havoc and degrading the natural habitat.

So, Donna and Caitlin tore it up. All of it. They removed the neatly cut grass and trees from unknown origins. Ripped up swaths of concrete (“concrete suffocates the soil, preventing the growth of microbes that are essential for healthy soil,” they write).

after photo, pebbles, backyard, green space, oasisParadise in the backyardTikTok

California’s natural beauty

Once the land was returned to ground zero, Caitlin and Donna got to work, replacing the non-native species with ones that were suited to the environment. “Native plants are adapted to the timing of the seasons, harshness of the weather, and water availability of the particular area they evolved within,” describes Defenders of Wildlife, a premier U.S.-based conservation organization. “They are also typically adapted to surviving local pests and, therefore, do not need chemical pesticides.”

So, the dynamic duo began anew, carefully planning and selecting the right plants. They chose drought-tolerant flora that was either native to the area or regionally appropriate, like the wattle-leaf acacia, whose delicate yellow blooms and fern-like leaves added a wonderful splash of splendor to the landscape. Plus, it’s known for its resiliency and minimal water needs—an especially crucial component in Southern California, where droughts are unfortunately quite commonplace. The orange-hued apricot mallow, another star of their garden, brings another pop of color and radiance and attracts butterflies to the space. “The flowers smell like honey,” write the Whelans.


nature. yard, large plants, makeover, native plantsWelcome to Whelan Design House.TikTok

Beyond the lush wildlife, the mother-daughter team also drew upon their impressive art experiences to design the garden of their dreams. They installed a lovely wooden bench, shaded beneath a Palo Verde tree. Small tables that look like sculptures dot the yard. Rustic Saltillo tiles, made of gorgeous terracotta, were used to create a mosaic patio floor. Suddenly, everything clicked. The resulting space is nothing short of awe-inspiring: truly one with nature.

Comments flooded in, with viewers praising Donna and Caitlin for their work. “You created your own slice of paradise while considering the wildlife and native plant species. I’m in awe,” someone wrote. “Thank you for planting native plants in CA, it’s so helpful. So many people buy houses here and plant non-native plants,” another user replied. Their viral TikTok even motivated some to rethink their own backyards. “My house is also a small older Spanish-style with a big backyard,” writes another. “This just inspired me to take action. Even my patio is just like yours, it’s coming down now lol.”

Change is always possible

Tired of mowing the grass and applying harmful pesticides? There are countless ways to incorporate native vegetation into your life, whether you have sprawling acres or a simple, small plot out front. For those interested in following in the Whelans’ footsteps, here’s what you need to know about starting your own native plant oasis:

  • Take stock. Before planning your beautiful new garden, examine your surroundings and evaluate what makes this particular area special and unique. How much sun does the yard typically get? Does it snow here? What’s the elevation like? Is the soil drainage poor?
  • Research, research, research. This is a great excuse for an excursion and to explore your local surroundings! Find a park near you with native plants or a botanical garden. Really get to know your local ecosystem—every region has its own personality and specific native plants that are meant to thrive there.
  • The fun part: Shopping spree. Find a nursery that specializes in native plants. And be curious! Ask questions, like “Where did this plant come from?” “Do I need to fertilize it?” “What soil and soil pH is best?” To create a native plant garden is to become a steward of the land, and the more information you know, the better.
  • Don’t stress. Caitlin and Donna are professionals. You don’t need to transform your entire backyard overnight. Start small, beginning with just a section of the garden. This will take time. In fact, the Whelans note, “patience is incredibly important. The beauty of [the garden] reached new depths with time and only time.”

yard, table, backyard, oasis, makeoverBeauty is possible!TikTok

By choosing native plants and working with nature rather than against it, the Whelans remind us that environmental stewardship is always possible—and can even start in your own backyard. With some careful planning, the correct plants, and an eye for design, anyone can take a step towards contributing to a natural, thriving ecosystem.

This guy deserves 5 stars, for sure.

When we think of 5-star Uber drivers, we might picture someone who knows how to read a room (or a car, in this case), maybe someone who has an assortment of charger cables, or a bomb playlist. One Uber driver, however, is getting glowing praise for giving more like 20-star service.

Here’s what happened: A woman named Catalina (@catalinamascochina), presumably on her way to a mechanic, had lamented to her driver how she was worried the mechanic would overcharge her for unnecessary things.

This concern is not unwarranted, of course. While anyone can be ripped off by a mechanic, it's fairly well known that women are often, but not always, charged more than men for auto repairs when they appear uniformed about the going rates for certain parts and services. Shady? Yes. But a reality, no doubt about it.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Catalina’s driver fully understood her plight, and in the video posted to her TikTok, we can hear him saying “I know how these guys are.” That’s when Catalina seems to joke, “Tell em’ you’re my dad!”

The Uber driver must have been totally onboard with this plan, because next thing you know, we see him in full Dad stance at the shop deftly waving off the mechanic's attempt to upsell, saying “We keep an eye on it; don’t worry about it. We’ll do it next time.”

Getting even more into character, he then demanded Catalina to “pay for the oil change and let’s get out of here. Come on, follow me.” Somebody give this guy an Oscar already.

“Thaaaaanks, Dad,” Catalina cooed as they shared a hug. In the onscreen caption she also joked that “the acting skills are a little [too] good cuz why he actually yelling at me like a dad?”

While viewers did note that, ideally, women wouldn’t have to conspire with their Uber drivers in order to get fair treatment, that it was really nice to see a man willing to help out in such a cool way.

“Now THIS is the masculinity we need,” one person wrote.

“What a sweetheart,” echoed another. “You definitely got in the right uber.”

Another even suggested, “they should have a service like this for girls that don’t have fathers and need to get their cars serviced worry-free.”

Others just chimed in to give the guys kudos for his acting chops. That, and many suspected he must be a dad IRL.

dad, mechanic, dads, help, strangers, favorsDads are gonna be dads.media0.giphy.com

“He activated dad mode and immediately became frustrated.”

“You gave him a story to share at dinner with his actual kids.”

“Acting? He’s clearly a dad.”

‘He wasn’t acting. In the moment you were his child.”

The world is not a perfect place, and likely never will be. But sometimes all it takes is one act of kindness to make it all that much easier—and more enjoyable—to navigate.