upworthy
Family

Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.

Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.

kindergarten, behavioral research, grades, testing
Image from Pixabay.

Big smiles in class at kindergarten.


Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important. From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.

It can be a little stressful. But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

Nope, it's not hippie nonsense. It's science.

Kindergarten teachers evaluated the kids with a portion of something called the Social Competence Scale by rating statements like "The child is good at understanding other's feelings" on a handy "Not at all/A little/Moderately well/Well/Very well" scale.

The research team used these responses to give each kid a "social competency score," which they then stored in what I assume was a manila folder somewhere for 19 years, or until each kid was 25. At that point, they gathered some basic information about the now-grown-ups and did some fancy statistical stuff to see whether their early social skills held any predictive value.

Here's what they found.

1. Those good test scores we covet? They still matter, but maybe not for the reasons we thought.

Back To School GIF by IFC - Find & Share on GIPHY

education, research, competency, kids

Meeting high expectations...

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

Traditional thinking says that if a kid gets good grades and test scores, he or she must be really smart, right? After all, there is a proven correlation between having a better GPA in high school and making more money later in life.

But what that test score doesn't tell you is how many times a kid worked with a study partner to crack a tough problem, or went to the teacher for extra help, or resisted the urge to watch TV instead of preparing for a test.

The researchers behind this project wrote, "Success in school involves both social-emotional and cognitive skills, because social interactions, attention, and self-control affect readiness for learning."

That's a fancy way of saying that while some kids may just be flat-out brilliant, most of them need more than just smarts to succeed. Maybe it wouldn't hurt spending a little more time in school teaching kids about the social half of the equation.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

Adam Sandler Pee GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

friendship, movies, GPA, emotional maturity

Adam Sandler helps out a friend dealing with a stressful situations.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

social behavior, social skills, learning, positive social traits

Adam Sandler GIF of getting his groove on.

Billy Madison GIF from Giphy

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

But what does it all mean?

This study has definite limitations, which its researchers happily admit. While it did its best to control for as many environmental factors as possible, it ultimately leans pretty heavily on whether a teacher thought a kid was just "good" or "very good" at a given trait.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

Joy

5 more things that made us smile this week

We love to see single moms succeed, strangers reaching out to help, and parents pushing back against bigotry.

True

In a time where the world feels more divided than ever, we could all use a pick-me-up. With that in mind, we’ve scoured the internet to bring you five feel-good pieces of news and media that put a smile on our faces (and we bet it’ll put one on yours, too).

This week, we’re loving:

This woman’s life-saving good deed

Hockey fan Nadia Popovici was at a game in 2022 when she noticed something strange: an irregular mole on the back of Brian Hamilton, one of the team’s assistant equipment managers. Popovici had experience looking at cancerous moles during her experience volunteering in oncology wards, so she quickly flagged Hamilton down and warned him through the plexiglass that his mole looked cancerous. Hamilton had the mole biopsied—and found Popovici had been right. “She saved my life,” Hamilton said later in a press conference.

Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season

Who knew that buying a car could be an act of love? During the annual Subaru Share the Love® Event, getting a car means supporting the charities you love the most. With every new Subaru purchased or leased, Subaru and its retailers will donate at least $300 to local and national charities, including the ASPCA®, Make-A-Wish®, Meals on Wheels, and the National Park Foundation, among others. And here's another thing to celebrate: After 17 years of the Subaru Share the Love Event nearly $320 million has been donated to charity!

This dad's perfect response to anti-gay bigotry

@fitxander Some AWESOME shade from my dad 😂🌈 #gay #dad @claire_training ♬ Kings & Queens - Ava Max

Sometimes, when a person throws shade, you have to throw it right back. That’s what Xander’s dad did, when a neighbor told him that having two gay kids (Xander and his sister, Claire) meant that he “failed as a parent.” His response? To cover his entire house and yard with pride flags. Go, dad!

This perfect example of brotherly love

You’ve never seen something more heartwarming than this boy helping his little brother before school. According to a TikTok video uploaded by his mom, this amazing kid “always reassures his little brother he’s going to have a great day at school,” giving him a hug, a kiss, and some reassuring words. No, you’re crying.

This single mom who passed her bar exam on the very first try

Taking the bar exam to become a lawyer is tough—so tough that most people can’t do it on their first try, even after months of studying. Which is why this video is downright joyous to watch. In the video, single mom and TikTok user @yougonloverhi records her and her son’s reactions as they find out that she passed the California Bar Exam on the first try. Supermom!

For more reasons to smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

Pop Culture

The Monkees' acapella Christmas song shows they weren't just funny, they could sing, too

They performed "Riu Chiu," a Spanish carol, on their 1967 Christmas special.

The Monkees singing "Riu Chiu."

The Monkees have a complicated place in the history of rock music. On the one hand, they scored some of the biggest hits of the ‘60s with “I’m a Believer,” “Last Train to Clarksville,” and “Daydream Believer.” On the other, they were a band manufactured in 1967 for a TV show that did little more than sing on their earlier records.

All that changed in 1967 when they wrestled control over their musical careers from the executives who kept them out of the studio and began recording their music with the “Headquarters” album. But even though they proved to be talented musicians, The Monkees were still branded as a prefabricated band whose success was owed more to session musicians and top-tier songwriters.

Anyone who doubts the talent of Mickey Dolenz, Michael Nesmith, Davy Jones and Peter Tork, look no further than a performance on The Monkees’ 1967 “Christmas Show” episode. Like every episode of The Monkees' TV show, this one featured a musical number. But this time, instead of a rock tune with a pre-MTV video of the band monkeying around, this featured the band singing an acapella version of “Riu Chiu,” a Spanish villancico that has attained some contemporary fame as a Christmas carol. The song is attributed to Mateo Flecha the Elder, who died in 1553.

The performance highlights the band’s unique vocal abilities that stem from different musical traditions. Before The Monkees, Dolenz was a rock singer, Nesmith was a country singer-songwriter from Texas, Tork was a folk musician and Jones was an English theatrical performer best known for his performance as the Artful Dodger in “Oliver!” But in this performance, their vocals blend perfectly.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The “Christmas Show” episode was memorable for the band’s outstanding vocal performance but also stands as one of the more memorable Christmas specials in TV history. Coming on the heels of the “Summer of Love,” the story is about The Monkees babysitting Melvin Vandersnoot, the hard-hearted child of an affluent family. After numerous attempts to get him into the Christmas spirit, the Monkees warm up his icy heart after showing him love, something all the money in the world can’t buy.

Vandersnoot, was played with incredible maturity by Butch Patrick, best known as Eddie on “The Munsters.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The Monkees' television show would be canceled in 1968 and the band’s original run wouldn’t last much longer. But all four band members would remain in the music business. The Monkees would reunite in the late ‘80s after the show became popular in reruns and would continue to tour over the next four decades, although most of the time, it was without Nesmith. Nesmith would pursue a country career in the ‘70s, and even though his work received a lukewarm reception at the time, his innovative mixture of country music, humor and psychedelia has made him a pioneer in the alt-country genre. Nesmith died in 2021, shortly after touring with Dolenz.

Outside his work as the mainstay in Monkee reunions, Dolenz has starred in numerous theatrical productions and recently released an EP of R.E.M covers. He still tours as a solo act.

Davy Jones went on to perform in Monkee reunions and guest star on several TV shows, most notably on an episode of “The Brady Bunch,” where he was the target of Marcia Brady’s affection. He passed away in 2012.

Peter Tork was a mainstay of The Monkees’ live performances through numerous reunions and played in a band called Shoe Suede Blues. Tork died in 2019 after a long battle with cancer.

Hanson, singing acapella.

In “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart,” the 2020 documentary about the Bee Gees, Noel Gallagher of Oasis noted that there is something special about when brothers harmonize. He should know since he founded Oasis in 1991 with his brother Liam. “When you got brothers singing, it’s like an instrument that no one else can buy,” Gallagher said. “You can’t go buy that sound in a shop. You can’t sing like the Bee Gees because when you got family members singing together, it’s unique.”

The Bee Gees’ incredible success with his songs “Stayin’ Alive” and “More Than a Woman” proved that there was something to the idea that when siblings sing together, there’s nothing like it. It's probably because brothers may have similar vocal tones and more time to practice while growing up together. Bands like The Beach Boys, The Jackson 5, The Carpenters and the Jonas Brothers all got a leg up on the competition by practicing together since they were little kids.

Another group that’s been around for decades with brothers singing incredible harmonies has been Hanson. Sure, everyone remembers their massive success in the late ‘90s with the inescapable hit “MMMBop.” Still, they’ve developed a loyal following, have three top 20 albums on the Billboard charts and a rigorous touring schedule.

The big draw at their shows is their mix of Hanson hits, incredible covers and buttery harmonies. The Hanson brothers, Isaac, Taylor and Zac, proved the brothers-sing-best theory on stage by singing an acapella version of “Too Much Heaven” by the Bee Gees. What’s even more impressive is that the brothers did it without a microphone, which is a considerable risk because there’s a big chance of being disrupted by the audience.

Here is a version from March 2019, when they performed on stage in Australia, the Bee Gees' home country.

- YouTubeyoutu.be


According to Hanson on Stage, the group has performed the song 26 times live, beginning in 2013. The performance we shared is at the Sydney Opera House, which is probably why the band decided to perform without microphones. The opera house was designed to allow orchestras to be heard without amplification.

“Too Much Heaven” was initially released by the Bee Gees in 1979 as a contribution to the "Music for UNICEF" fund. The band donated all of the proceeds from the single to the charity. It’s a lush ballad featuring nine layers of three-part harmonies by Barry, Maurice and Robin Gibb. The song hit number one in the U.S. and Canada and would later make it to the band’s “Spirits Have Flown” album.

Here is the Bee Gees performing the song in 1993 on the BBC’s Pebble Mill One.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Hanson recently learned they are a big reason brother-and-sister duo Billie Eilish and FINNEAS got into the music industry. “We sat in our studio with Billie Eilish and FINNEAS when they happened to be in town, [with] their parents talking to us saying, ‘We basically decided they should make music ’cause we saw Hanson and you guys seemed like you were OK,'” Taylor told Billboard. “Like, that’s insane … and here they are, they’ve done incredible, beautiful work.”

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

I have plenty of space.


It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

relationships, fathers, dads

I’ve got this.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.

daughters, daughter, father

Sharing life strategy.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.

bonding, dad, child

Tight fitting hula-hoop.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.

family bond, parent, child-bond

Dad makes time.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.

love, guidance, play

Let’s play.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

6. Dads help us see the world from different views.

sociology, psychology,  world views

Good shoulders.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

7. So much so that we never want them to leave.

travel, inspiration, guidance

More dad time please.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.

protectors, responsibilities, home

Always the protector.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.

superhero, monsters, sleeping

Dad is superman.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

daddy-daughter bond, leadership, kids

Never a big enough bed.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Yes. Sometimes it really is that easy.

Sure, there are parents out there who essentially see the entire world as their kid’s playground, but by and large most parents really don’t want to subject anyone else to the whims of their little ones. This goes for flights too. When a baby or toddler can’t sit still or won’t stop crying, it’s also incredibly stressful for the parents doing their best to keep things calm while essentially becoming in-flight pariahs. Fun.

In other words, a little empathy can go a long way. And that’s why so many are applauding a now-viral TikTok from Samantha Chadwick (@samanthachadwickk), which shows exactly how powerful a simple mindset shift can be.

In the clip we see Chadwick in her airplane seat, headphones on, as the onscreen text reads:

“There’s a baby on my flight that’s been crying non-stop for like two hours. She sounds so uncomfortable, and her parents are working so hard to calm her down. They are probably feeling so much anxiety and pressure right now. People behind them are talking about the baby screaming. So instead of complaining, I just put on my headphones and watched my show & could barely hear her. It’s that easy.”

TLDR: Babies cry. Parents are trying. Thank God for headphones. Keep on keepin’ on.

@samanthachadwickk Lets normalize being good humans while traveling 🫶🏼 #babycrying #babytravel #travel ♬ Use this sound to go viral - Andrew

Chadwick’s message clearly struck a chord with parents who have been in similar circumstances. Many had also been on the receiving end of kindness from strangers, and it was everything.

“As a mom THANK YOU the anxiety you get when your baby cries in places like that is through the roof.”

“My baby screamed for over an hour on a flight, I tried everything to calm him down and felt terrible. as a man was getting off he stopped and told me I did a great job. It really meant the world.”

“I wish EVERYONE was this kind. I ‘ll never forget my baby crying for an entire 6 hour flight after we got stuck in Vegas and I was exhausted and stressed and multiple sweet angels offered to hold my baby.”

Others could agree with Chadwick’s sentiments exactly.

“Those poor parents. Thank you for handling it like an adult.”

“I always feel bad for the parents, so stressful.”

Others echoed the notion that, unlike the parents actually dealing with the crying child, there are some things the other person can control.

“I am SO sensitive to sounds and get incredibly irritable about them. I bring earplugs/headphones bc that’s MY problem. I don’t understand ppl who try to blame others for their issues.”

“I always say as adults we have the option to wear headphones, that baby and parents are suffering more than anyone else on the plane!”

Listen, it’s understandable that people’s fuses have gotten shorter while traveling because, let’s face it, there’s a lot of questionable choices being made these days, and being cramped together in a steel box thousands of feet in the air only makes it more intolerable. But families have also been put through the ringer several times even before boarding the plane and would like a nice, peaceful flight as much as everyone else. We might not like the hand we’re dealt by the flights gods that day, but for those some odd hours, we’re all in this together. So let’s do our part.

Or as Chadwick put it, “Let’s normalize being good humans while traveling.”

Joy

'A Christmas Carol' summarized in Gen Z slang is giving hella holiday cheer

Comedian Richard Franks understood the assignment, no cap.

Richard Franks/Instagram, Book cover in the public domain

You've never seen "A Christmas Carol" summarized like this.

Since its publication in 1843, Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" has been retold in a zillion different ways, from serious stage plays to animated musicals to a Muppet movie to a horror miniseries. The role of Ebenezer Scrooge (or his character equivalent) has been played by famous actors such as Michael Caine, Bill Murray, Jim Carrey, Patrick Stewart, Albert Finney and Ryan Reynolds. Most of us are at least somewhat familiar with Tiny Tim and the ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, but the beloved holiday tale has never seen a plot summary quite like comedian Richard Franks'.

Franks has been delighting his audience with Gen Z slang summaries of Shakespeare's plays, and now he's doing the same with the classic Dickensian Christmas ghost story. Acting as a teacher in front of a classroom, Franks goes through the plot of "A Christmas Carol" in Gen Z speak with hilarious accuracy. Parents of a teens and young adults will likely recognize a lot of these terms, though they may not know what they actually mean.

Watch how naturally he speaks the lingo:

The best part is that it's actually a perfect summary of the story, though only Gen Z would fully understand it. Older folks may roll their eyes at how younger folks are changing how words are used, but every generation has its own version of language manipulation. The Boomers coined "groovy" and Gen X had "totally radical," after all. Millennials and Gen Z have a lot of crossover between them, but the youngsters have established their own flavor (much of which comes from African-American Vernacular English, or AAVE).

People of all generations are loving Frank's comic take on it all, though.

"You’ve done it again, bruh."

"I haven't finished watching it, I am already laughing. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂"

"Literally the only reason I understood what you’re saying is because I know the plot already, otherwise I’d be done for 😂"

"I love these sketches, they are just genius!! 🙌"

"This is Christmas cheer! (still laughing at 'full on Miley Cyrus and buy yourself flowers')"

If you watched the video in complete befuddlement because you aren't regularly around Gen Zers and have no idea what Franks is saying, here's a glossary to help you out with some of the terminology:

Straight up = truly

Vibes = feeling or mood

No cap = no lie/for real

Tea = gossip/information

Salty AF = very bitter

Throwing shade 24/7 = expressing contempt all day every day

Be giving = is giving off a vibe or feeling

Walking ick = undesirable person

Hella = extremely OR a large amount of (depending on usage)

Pulls up = arrives

Sesh = session

Massive simp = being excessively attentive or affectionate toward someone who's less interested

Nah, bruh = no thanks

Toxic mad riz = manipulative charisma

Ate and left no crumbs = did something perfectly

YOLO = You Only Live Once (same idea as carpe diem)

Bet = yes, I'm in

Slay = do something exceptionally well and with confidence

Low key = basically/undramatically

Understood the assignment = fully grasped the expectation and successfully met it

It's one thing to understand Gen Z's language and it's another to be able to speak it. Some parents like to mess with their kids by attempting to use slang terms and using them completely wrong—always a good laugh. One middle school teacher is on a mission to help parents out by sharing some Gen Alpha slang terms, and another teacher admits to making up slang words to try to convince his students that they're real.

Language is fun, and finding the humor in the way different generations use it makes for excellent comedy. If you want to see more of Richard Franks' Gen Z slang literature lessons, you can follow him on Instagram.