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'Queer Eye's' Tan France: I took the job to be blunt to, and befriend, Republicans.

Tan France wasn't supposed to be a TV star.

But as of publication, the fashion designer has over 183,000 Instagram followers and a number of giddy, straight husbands asking to take his photo to show their wives at his local grocery store in Utah. "I can't walk the street without somebody stopping me," he explains earnestly, still surprised that complete strangers would recognize him. (Maybe it's the hair?)‌‌‌‌

‌Photo by Paige Soviet.‌

France, who'd never held a job in the entertainment world before, says he was reluctant to audition for "Queer Eye," a Netflix reboot based off the original Bravo series, "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," that's become an overnight cultural phenomenon since premiering in early February.

But France went to the audition anyway. And now he's a member of the show's Fab Five — the stylish, sincere queer guys who bombard their "heroes'" homes and make over their closets, diets, and, really, entire existences in just a few days.

‌Photo courtesy of Netflix.‌

The reason France ended up taking the offer, he says, had nothing to do with fame or fortune. It was the series' shooting location, of all things, that sealed the deal.

Unlike the original, the new "Queer Eye" found its heroes to "make better" in deep red, rural Georgia. For France — a British-Muslim immigrant to the U.S. with Pakistani roots — the opportunity to build bridges and befriend straight, southern Republicans was an opportunity he simply couldn't pass up.

I sat down with France to chat about the first season of "Queer Eye," what it's like representing gay Muslims on the world stage, and which member of the Fab Five he secretly loves best.

I'm so happy to talk to you. I went through season one of "Queer Eye" so quickly.‌‌‌‌

The response has been out of this world!‌‌‌‌

How so? ‌‌‌‌

I don't know if you know, but I'm the only one who hasn't ever worked in the entertainment industry before. I never had any desire to do so. I had to be convinced to go audition for this show. So for me, it's been really shocking. I receive, on average, a thousand DMs a day.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. It's insane. It's lovely, lovely, and I'm very grateful, but it's insane. And then not really being able to go out of the house as much anymore, unless I'm either really dressed up or have a hat and shades on — that's been a major adjustment.

That's wild. And for many Americans, you're either the first or one of the first gay Muslims they've ever seen on TV. What's that been like for you?

I just am unapologetically myself, so it wasn't something I was really cognizant of until people really started asking about it the past few weeks. And so I've been like, oh shit, maybe I should be paying more attention to that [laughs]. People all over the world have been reaching out and saying, "I've never seen a version of myself on TV." And that's really powerful.

How comfortable are you taking on that role?

I don't feel uncomfortable because I am who I am, and I don't make any apologies for it. That's the case for all of [the Fab Five].

But I've never seen myself as any kind of role model or trailblazer, and I still don't. I don't like that kind of responsibility because I don't expect that people should live their lives a certain way because someone else lives their life a certain way. However, I do love giving exposure to a community that really hasn't had the representation it needs.

As a Muslim, how did it feel helping Cory in episode three? He was a big Trump supporter. Was helping guys like him something you considered before heading to Georgia to shoot?

It was something I thought about a lot before accepting the offer. And actually, it was the reason I took the show.

If the show had been filmed in New York or L.A., I don't think it would have been as enticing for me. [The original "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"] was wonderful for its time. It moved the gay community forward and it gave us exposure we never had before. However, I didn't want just the original version back. I wanted it to be more [representative] of how we've progressed as a community.

So having the opportunity to work with a bunch of Republican people [in the South] was the most enticing part of this job for me. It wasn't about making them "pretty" — that's secondary. My job on the show is making sure I'm having very open, blunt conversations with people without hiding who I am.

Unfortunately, some of the conversations didn't make it [into the episodes]. Like, Cory and I had a very lengthy conversation in the car about Trump and the fact he doesn't love gays or immigrants, and I represent both of those things. [Trump's] made some derogatory comments about the Middle East, and again, I represent that.

Photo by Paige Soviet.

I read that Tom had at one point suggested you were a "terrorist"? But then he ended up giving you a yellow rose?

He sure did. You've seen the full [first] episode ... right?

Yes.

So I had a driving scene in the car with Tom that didn't make it [into the final cut], where we're shooting the shit — just talking about everything while I was driving — and then it came up in conversation that I am Middle Eastern. He hadn't realized I was Middle Eastern. So his first question was, "You're not a terrorist, are you?"

Wow.

Yeah. That was really important for me to be able to address that in a certain way where he didn't feel like he couldn't ask that question — and I told him he can't ask that question again.

There's a way of asking questions to find out what you're wanting to find out without being so offensive. There's a certain level of tact that's required [pauses, laughs] ...

Sorry, what was the rest of your question?

I asked about the yellow rose.

Oh, right, yes! Sorry, sometimes I go off on a tangent and I don't remember where I was going! So we had a really open conversation and he actually asked that question [about being a "terrorist"].

We ended up becoming really close. I love Tom. By the end of the week before I left, when the cameras weren't around, he came over and said, "I got a rose for you, which is yellow — the color of friendship. And I want you to know that I wasn't trying to be offensive by the question I asked. Now I understand you."

He said, "I want to have these conversations with other people. I love knowing that now I have a Middle Eastern friend, an immigrant friend, a liberal friend, that I never thought I would have had."

Oh my gosh.

I know!

Tom was definitely one of my favorites. I also loved A.J. too.

I loved A.J. I mean, it helped that he was really attractive [laughs]. But he was such a sweetheart.

That's awesome. Well, those scenes with Tom sound so powerful. I wish I'd gotten to see them.

You know, here's the thing: We're not trying to make a political show. I guess we make political statements by the nature of who we are. But I think [the yellow rose scene with Tom] would have been way too heavy. Baby steps.

Sometimes, subtlety can make the show accessible for a lot of people who may not have tuned in otherwise.

Exactly. And they can make their own assumptions. We don't necessarily have to ram anything down their throats.

Photo by Paige Soviet.

So how about some fun questions?

Yeah!

I know the Fab Five are all close with one another. But who do you get along with the best?

OK, I will actually be honest with you. I love them all. When we're together, we have the best time. I don't know if you follow my Instagram or if you don't —

I do.

I mentioned in a post that people seem to have really responded well to in my Instagram story: Antoni sat on my lap, and I [said], "It doesn't matter how many chairs there are in a room, my lap is always Antoni's seat." And that's true. It doesn't matter what's going on, if there are a lot of people around us, we are always so affectionate. We love each other very much.

There are differences between some of [the Fab Five] because, for example, some of the boys like to go experience the night life and go to bars and clubs. And me and Antoni, neither of us drink alcohol. So it made it so much more organic for us to build a bond quickly, because when those guys are out going to bars and clubs, Antoni and I were cooking in each other's apartments and watching "The Great British Baking Show."

I now go on vacations with his family. We basically married the same person [laughs], so they get along really well. We're all very, very close, but me and Antoni formed a bond like no other.

That's amazing. Can we talk about Antoni for a second?

Everyone wants to talk to me about Antoni! You love him, I know. [laughs]

I do! But he seems to be the most controversial Fab Five member. Is he just the talentless eye candy on the show, like some people have said?

OK, wait, Robbie, let me tell you this. Because you are now the third person in the last couple days who've asked me this.

All I get all day is DMs from people saying, "Oh my gosh, Antoni won't reply to my DMs; can you tell him that I love him?" I'm like, "OK, get a grip, everybody. He's not just a piece of meat [laughs]!"

Maybe I am jaded because we're so close, but I see him as the heart of the show. Truly. He's got a way of connecting with our heroes — that's what we call the clients we help — he has a way of connecting with heroes like none of us can. He's so truly genuine.

And look, people can have their own opinions with what he does with food. But in the first episode where he made Tom guacamole, he actually made a full meal. But we've only got time to show one thing! He's actually an amazing chef. He cooked for me almost every night because our apartments [when we were shooting on location] were right next door to each other.

For the record, I'm pro-Antoni.

Good! Honestly, no joke, he's probably the best person I've met in my entire life. Like, he's an angel sent down from heaven.

Photo by Paige Soviet.

So, I'm already craving season two. Any news?

OK, here's the thing. Netflix doesn't tell us anything [laughs]. All we can say is, we hope it's doing well. Instagram's fucking blown up, so I assume that's a good indication of how the show's doing.

It seems like it's doing great, but I don't know if I'm just being trapped in my own gay bubble.

[laughs] You know what's funny though? In Utah [where France lives], they have a very high Mormon population. And when I'm out in the grocery store, one of my favorite things in the world to do is go to the grocery store. For a British person, coming to America and seeing the ridiculous abundance in a grocery store is fascinating.

And every time I'm there now — at least three or four times — I'll get stopped by a man who I assume is straight and wants to take a picture with me to show his wife and kids. It's always straight men! It's always straight men.

That's so funny!

I know, I love it.

That about covers my questions, Tan. Is there anything you want to add?

I'd love to go back to the relationship thing with the other boys, because you're the only one who's asked who I am closest with.

Of course.

I am the closest with Antoni, but I never expected that my colleagues and I would become my best friends. Of course, every now and then there's going to [be a fight]. Actually, I like that we argue every now and then, because it's usually about the hero and what we want to do that episode — we have those kinds of arguments. And that makes for a better show.

But on the whole, [the show creators] chose five people who could be, and thankfully are, the closest of friends. And I think that's why the show works so well.

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.

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Neuroscientists say a simple trick will help you learn any new skill a lot faster

Learning a new skill? Here's how to quickly level-up.

guitar, learning a skill, neuroscience, music, exposure, passive exposure, gardening
via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A woman learning how to play guitar.

Learning a new skill, such as playing an instrument, gardening, or picking up a new language, takes a lot of time and practice, whether that means scale training, learning about native plants, or using flashcards to memorize new words. To improve through practice, you have to perform the task repeatedly and receive feedback so you know whether you’re doing it correctly. Is my pitch correct? Did my geraniums bloom? Is my pronunciation understandable?

However, a new study by researchers at the Institute of Neuroscience at the University of Oregon shows that you can speed up these processes by adding a third element to practice and feedback: passive exposure. The good news is that passive exposure requires minimal effort and is enjoyable.

"Active learning of a... task requires both expending effort to perform the task and having access to feedback about task performance," the study authors explained. "Passive exposure to sensory stimuli, on the other hand, is relatively effortless and does not require feedback about performance."


woman reading, woman book, young woman, studying, new skills A woman reading a book.via Canva/Photos

How to pick up new skills faster?

So, if you’re learning to play the blues on guitar, listen to plenty of Howlin’ Wolf or Robert Johnson throughout the day. If you’re learning to cook, keep the Food Network on TV in the background to absorb some great culinary advice. Learning to garden? Take the time to notice the flora and fauna in your neighborhood or make frequent trips to your local botanical garden.

If you’re learning a new language, watch plenty of TV and films in the language you are learning. The scientists add that auditory learning is especially helpful, so listen to plenty of audiobooks or podcasts on the subject you’re learning about.

But, of course, you also have to be actively learning the skill as well by practicing your guitar for the recommended hours each day or by taking a class in languages. Passive exposure won't do the work for you, but it's a fantastic way to pick up things more quickly. Further, passive exposure keeps the new skill you're learning top-of-mind, so you're probably more likely to actively practice it.

What is passive exposure?

Researchers discovered the tremendous benefits of passive exposure after studying a group of mice. They trained them to find water by using various sounds to give positive or negative feedback, like playing a game of “hot or cold.” Some mice were passively exposed to these sounds when they weren't looking for water. Those who received this additional passive exposure and those who received active training learned to find the water reward more quickly.

gardening, woman gardening, gardening shears, leaning gardening, weeds A woman tending to her garden.via Canva/Photos


“Our results suggest that, in mice and in humans, a given performance threshold can be achieved with relatively less effort by combining low-effort passive exposure with active training,” James Murray, a neuroscientist who led the study, told University of Oregon News. “This insight could be helpful for humans learning an instrument or a second language, though more work will be needed to better understand how this applies to more complex tasks and how to optimize training schedules that combine passive exposure with active training.”

The one drawback to this study was that it was conducted on mice, not humans. However, recent studies on humans have found similar results, such as in sports. If you visualize yourself excelling at the sport or mentally rehearse a practice routine, it can positively affect your actual performance. Showing, once again, that when it comes to picking up a new skill, exposure is key.

The great news about the story is that, in addition to giving people a new way to approach learning, it’s an excuse for us to enjoy the things we love even more. If you enjoy listening to blues music so much that you decided to learn for yourself, it’s another reason to make it an even more significant part of your life.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Woman's silly typo in a philosophical post is bringing thousands of people unexpected, pure joy

Sometimes one tiny error can shift the entire meaning of a sentence.

typos, grammar, errors, writing, texting, comma
Photo credit: Canva

Left: A woman typing on a laptop. Right: A closeup of the word "Grammar."

Sometimes one tiny error can shift the entire meaning of a sentence. Perhaps someone tries to sign off an email with "Take care," but instead writes "Cake care," leaving you wondering whether you somehow missed receiving a delicious pastry (or, more importantly, the instructions on how to "care" for it).

For Threads user Maureenmzobe, merely adding a single letter turned what could have been a profound question into a ridiculous one. They asked, "You are in a comma, you wake up it's 2040. What are you Googling first?"

Threads, punctuation, spelling, commas, coma, typos A person on Threads makes a typo.Photo credit: Threads/@maureenmzobe

Obviously, the OP meant to write "coma" (we're assuming), but the happy accident led to more than 3,100 hilarious responses. As you might guess, many of those answers are punctuation-related.

One Threader joked, "Better than waking up in a colon, I suppose."

Another added a much more poetic answer:

"I woke up with a comma,
felt a pause in my head,
tripped over a semicolon
before getting out of bed.
I googled an apostrophe,
ate breakfast with a dash,
spilled tea on a question mark,
now my kitchen's an exclamation crash.
I spoke in quotation marks,
whispered softly in italics,
shouted once in capital letters
when my thumb remained static.
My words ran on like a sentence
that clearly should have stopped,
but I missed the full stop,
so the meaning was sort of lost."

This commenter had further questions: "Am I in an Oxford comma, or just a regular comma? Context matters here."

Of course, one Threader had to point out the obvious:

"First, I'd Google: 'difference between comma and coma — and how long I've apparently been unconscious.' Because if I've been in a comma since 2025, I'm less worried about the future and more concerned about who punctuated my life so aggressively.
Did I pause…
take a breath…
or has existence just been one long, unnecessary clause?
Either way, I'm searching for: 'how to end a 15-year comma — semicolon acceptable?'"

And some answers were just funny: "At least be grateful you didn't come to a full stop."

This person included a little wordplay: "I came here for the commas and they did not disaperiod."

The truth, of course, is these tiny flubs can happen to anyone. In a Reddit post titled "Funniest typos/mistakes you've caught yourself making?" the OP admits, "So, we're all human and we're not perfect. We all make typos and errors every now and again, and some of them can change the meaning of a sentence entirely. What's your funniest one?"

They go on to describe their most embarrassing editorial mistake: "I'm currently editing a chapter, and instead of 'Shannon's eyes went wide and she slid away a few inches,' I wrote 'Shannon's eyes went wide and slid away a few inches.' It's one pronoun. And yet without it, her eyes slide off her face. It made me giggle."

The post received 85 comments, most of them from people sharing their own unfortunate typos.

A Redditor shared, "I tried to type 'memento' one time and ended up getting autocorrected to 'Meme and toad' for some odd reason. Looking back I probably threw in a space on accident." Luckily, this person truly enjoyed the outcome: "Meme and Toad are the best of friends."

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I showed my Gen Z kids 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions to it floored me

"Inspiring" apparently means different things to Gen X and Gen Z.

Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society, gen x and gen z differences
Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved film from my youth that I thought they'd love, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpectedly negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They did love the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they also admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTube youtu.be

The traumatize part I actually get—I'd forgotten just how incredibly heavy the film gets all of a sudden. (A caveat I feel the need to add here: Gen Z uses the word "traumatize" not in a clinical sense but as an exaggerative term for being hit unexpectedly by something sad or disturbing. They know they weren't literally traumatized by the movie.)

But in discussing it further, I discovered three main generational differences that impacted my kids' "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

o captain my captain, dead poets society Individual impact isn't as inspiring to Gen Z as it was to Gen X. Giphy

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for his death, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory so my "sad part" warning was a little insufficient.

But also to be fair, Gen X youth never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

The Never Ending Story Atreyu GIFfrom The Never Ending Story GIFs


3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X either overlooked or saw as more nuanced

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could arguably be seen as. My own young Gen X lens saw Knox and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a total creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

run, red flag behavior Gen Z is much more black and white about behaviors than previous generations. Giphy Red Flag Run GIF by BuzzFeed

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors and calling them out. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

To be clear, I don't think my Gen Z kids' reactions to "Dead Poets Society" are wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page when it comes to these kinds of analyses, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without "traumatizing" them too much with the experience.

This article originally appeared in January.

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2,000 people sing directly to ICE agents in Minneapolis, beautifully imploring them to come together

The "singing resistance" choir shows the power of incorporating art into peaceful protests.

singing resistance, singing protest, ice protest, minneapolis, non-violent resistance
Courtesy of @dougpagitt/Instagram

The "singing resistance" is growing in Minneapolis and beyond.

From the night the Sons of Liberty dumped hundreds of chests of tea into Boston Harbor in 1773, Americans have protested government policies and actions they disagree with in various ways. Some have staged peaceful sit-ins, while others have rioted in rage. Millions have marched to make their voices heard, carrying signs and chanting slogans that express their displeasure with what's happening in their country.

But occasionally, a unique form of protest stands out. Several weeks into the ICE operation in Minneapolis, in which the federal government sent 2,000+ agents and officers to carry out "the largest immigration operation ever," and which has led to disruptions at schools, conflict between federal agents and the community, and the killing of U.S. citizens, thousands of Minnesota residents have taken to the streets in protest. Among them is a growing band of singers who, instead of calling out the government with shouting and chants, are calling in the federal agents with songs and signs, inviting them to join the resistance.

It's a different approach to take, tapping into the humanity of individual agents instead of confronting the government as a whole. But 2,000 people have added their voices to the "singing resistance," forming a massive choir. They gather at a church to practice their songs, then take their message to the places where ICE agents are staying, singing:

We walk the same ground

We've been torn apart

Put down your weapons

And sing your part


The effect of combining the arts with our constitutional right to peacefully assemble is powerful, and the signs the singing resisters are holding are, too: "Please ICE agents. Join Us." "Love > Fear," "Choose Humanity. Quit ICE." "Stop the Violence." "We Are Family." "Be the hero that walks away." "The time is always right to do what is right." "You, too, are here to love and be loved."

The Singing Resistance Instagram account shared the heart of the message the singers hope to send to ICE agents, imploring them to quit their jobs and join "the side of love and humanity":

"Under federal occupation, Minneapolis has been going through immense pain, rage, and grief. But when they come at us with violence, we fight back with love. We still have space in our hearts for ICE agents who are willing to walk away from the path of violence and take accountability for harm they’ve caused. We paid ICE agents a visit today to call them home."

Another song they sang says:

It’s okay to change your mind
Show us your courage
Leave this behind
It’s okay to change your mind
And you can join us
Join us here anytime

The idea of inviting agents and officers to join a resistance movement isn't without precedent. Singing resistance organizers shared that they were inspired by the Otpor! civil resistance that helped overthrow Serbian dictator Slobodan Milosevic in 2000. Otpor! members would chant, "You may not join us today, but you can join us tomorrow," when they were arrested by the police. Ultimately, when hundreds of thousands marched on Belgrade, most of the police and military joined the opposition and refused to follow Milosevic's orders to fire on the protesters.

According to an Ipsos poll conducted on January 30 and 31, 2026, a full 62 percent of U.S. adults feel ICE’s actions go too far, compared to 13 percent who think they don't go far enough and 23 percent who said it was about right. That disapproval is four points higher than the week before, indicating that the ICE operations are unpopular with Americans, even those who normally support the Trump administration's policies.

People from all over the United States shared words of encouragement for the choir, expressing how moved they are by the singing resistance:

"I love how the singing is both dissent/resistance and it feeds hope and replenishes energy. It is so soul-nourishing. I’d love to be a part of this! Sending my love and care to you all from Maryland as a MN born and raised woman. Sing on!!!"

"I think the music resistance is very effective and moving. Thank you for all your fine efforts from way over here in upstate New York. Thank you for standing up for all of us in the country."

"We are one chord, beautiful beautiful voices thank you so much for sharing Minnesota. I’m a musician and singer here in Eugene, Or, and when I hear hundreds of you singing like that, I cannot tell you how healing it is for me how powerful and indeed how brave."

"I have a song in my heart again! After weeks of crying crying in despair, thank you for singing us into a hopeful future of healing, reconciliation, and RESISTANCE❤️

"This is more revolutionary than so many know."

"Prince left his legacy forever. Minneapolis strong."

"This reminds me of Estonia's singing revolution and I'm here for it. ❤️❤️"

The Singing Resistance account has shared a toolkit and songbook and organized a virtual training on how to organize a local singing resistance choir for those interested in doing something similar.

The right to peacefully assemble and voice our disagreement with our government is guaranteed in the Constitution, and there are many creative ways to do it. When people are singing in harmony in the street, it not only gets attention, but it's hard to criticize or confront that kind of peaceful protest. (Imagine the optics of trying to break up a peacefully singing crowd.) Will the choir's earworms calling to their humanity really make a difference with any ICE agents in Minneapolis? Time will tell. In the meantime, people around the world are hearing them loud and clear and joining the harmonious chorus of non-violent resistance.

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British etiquette expert shares 5 simple tips for people who think they're 'above small talk'

"You don't hate small talk. you're just terrible at it."

social skills, michael baker, conversation tips, small talk, small talk tips, social science, how to be social, making friends
Photo credit: Canva

Two men having a conversation

You probably heard plenty of people say they hate small talk. You might even consider yourself someone who loathes it. One of the most common arguments against small talk is that it’s “superficial,” energy draining, and doesn’t foster a real human connection.

Well, according to British etiquette enthusiast and content creator on all things conversation-related (not to mention author) Michael Baker, “You don’t hate small talk. You’re just terrible at it.”

In an Instagram post, Baker argued that those who see small talk as “beneath them” are failing to see it as a “test” (for compatibility, connection, shared values, etc.), which will inevitably lead to getting “left out.”

He then gave five tips to help folks shift that mindset and make small talk work for them. Honestly, even those who aren’t adamantly against small talk might find themselves guilty of some of these mistakes and could benefit from making these tweaks.

five, five fingers, five tips, man, advice, help Young man holds up his hand to show five.Photo credit: Canva

#1 Avoid answering questions too literally

Perhaps in an attempt to be authentic, or to avoid taking up all the oxygen in the room, people might use responses that are accurate and succinct, but not exactly conversational. This doesn’t give the other person anything to “bounce off of,” which is what’s really being asked for.

To remedy this, Baker suggests to always give a real response plus a “hook.” He gave the example of saying “Mostly work, but I’m trying to teach myself how to play guitar. Chaos!” when asked, “What have you been up to?” rather than saying “Not much, just working.”

#2 Don’t ask questions like it’s a job interview

Baker says ask “open-ended, low-stakes” questions like “what’s keeping you busy outside of work?” to invite a sense of “play.” Conversely, asking things like “where are you from?” invites a sense of formality, pressuring people to “perform.”

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#3 Allow depth to come in naturally

Since the thought of shallow conversation might seem uncomfortable, those who are small talk-averse might find themselves immediately asking overarching existential questions like, “What drives you?” Baker argues that one must trust that “shallow comes before depth,” and must be used as a “warm-up act.” Otherwise, people are put on the spot unnecessarily, which obviously doesn't foster connection.

#4 Initiate conversation instead of only speaking when spoken to

What may seem like “politeness” can come across as unapproachable. The good thing is: this is an opportunity for some “low-pressure,” even “lightly self-deprecating” observations. Baker used the example of saying, “That snack table’s dangerously close to me.”

#5 Treat small talk as the “main event”

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This might be the biggest tip of all. Here, Baker reminds us that for the majority of human interaction, small talk is the way in, and therefore should be “respected.” Virtually no one is going to say, “Let’s network,” but odds are they’ll easily comment on the weather. It’s our job to learn what they’re really saying with this mundane phrase.

Because, at the end of the day, “if you keep waiting for ‘real’ conversation, you’ll miss all the real opportunities,” Baker writes.

After reading these tips, you very well might still loathe the idea of small talk, which is totally fine. It doesn’t have to be for everyone, nor should it. But what Baker really presents here is a way to reflect on whether or not our attitudes are preventing us from making valuable connections. If we suspect that might be the case, then it could be worth experimenting with some of these tools.

If you’d like even more tips, Baker has a guide aptly titled Let’s Not Make It Weird, which you can check out here.

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