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Psychologists set the record straight on what gaslighting is (and what it's not)

"People often tell me that someone gaslighted them when in fact, what they are describing is mere disagreement."

man and woman clearly in an argument
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Arguments and disagreements do not automatically equal gaslighting.

Unless we were in therapy to deal with an emotionally abusive relationship, most of us weren't familiar with the term "gaslighting" until the past decade. Now, it's everywhere, and there always seems to be someone talking to people and gaslighting them. In fact, it's used so much that in 2022, it was named a word of the year by the dictionary giant Merriam-Webster.

"Gaslighting" has become a common part of our vocabulary—unfortunately, it also comes with some common misunderstandings.

Merriam-Webster currently defines gaslighting as “the act or practice of grossly misleading someone, especially for one’s own advantage,” but that definition merely reflects how the clinical term has been broadened and oversimplified. As psychologists explain, specific factors make a behavior gaslighting instead of disagreeing, correcting, or trying to persuade someone that they're right.


Where the term "gaslighting" comes from

The word "gaslighting" is derived from a 1938 play called "Gas Light," which was subsequently adapted as the film "Gaslight" in 1944. In that story, a young woman's new husband—who had, unbeknownst to her, murdered her aunt 10 years prior—tries to make her think she's losing her mind. He manipulates her environment (for instance, by repeatedly dimming the gas lights) but denies that anything odd is happening, making her question her reality. His deception was deliberate—he hoped to drive her mad so he could institutionalize her and steal a cache of jewels that were hidden in her aunt's house.

That storyline, the husband's tactics and the reason for them provide helpful context for what gaslighting is and isn't.

What is "gaslighting"?

Psychology Today defines gaslighting as "an insidious form of manipulation and psychological control. Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity. Over time, a gaslighter’s manipulations can grow more complex and potent, making it increasingly difficult for the victim to see the truth."

Robin Stern, Ph.D., wrote the 2007 book "The Gaslight Effect," which helped popularize the term that she says is now losing its meaning. "People often tell me that someone gaslighted them when, in fact, what they are describing is mere disagreement," she writes in Psychology Today.

Here's how she describes it:

"Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where one person’s psychological manipulation causes another person to question their reality. Gaslighting can happen between two people in any relationship. A gaslighter preserves his or her sense of self and power over the gaslightee, who adopts the gaslighter’s version of reality over their own."

Ahona Guha D.Psych offers a definition that includes some key factors:

"Gaslighting is a pattern of behaviour, usually intentional, designed to make someone question their own reality, memories, or experiences. The lesson is simple: When identifying gaslighting, look for a pattern (i.e., one time is not enough), and for behaviour that seems intentional or malicious (think 'No, you are over-reacting because you are too sensitive, it didn’t happen that way')."

When is it not really gaslighting?

If we define gaslighting as simply misleading or confusing someone, it becomes easy to mislabel all kinds of normal, imperfect human interactions as such. Disagreements, remembering events differently, and even trying to convince someone of your viewpoint are not gaslighting unless they involve some specific elements.

"It’s important to remember that gaslighting is not present every time there is a conflict, and someone feels strongly about their point of view and rejects another’s," explains Stern. "Conflicts can veer into gaslighting if one person is so insistent that the other person starts to doubt themselves. A power imbalance in the relationship usually allows the gaslighter to undermine the gaslightee’s sense of self. The need to control, the act of manipulating, and the leveraging of power are essential components of gaslighting—not hurt feelings or challenged viewpoints."

"Often, the gaslighter is unyielding and verbally aggressive," Stern adds. "The gaslighter likely turns a back-and-forth discussion into blaming the other person and may even lie outright about what took place. They may use statements such as, 'Are you crazy? I never said that—must be early memory loss,' and 'OMG—fantasy land as usual. Can’t you remember anything?!'"

Guha emphasizes that gaslighting is not a one-off behavior but a pattern. "Most people will say things that might be insensitive, exasperated, or callous on occasion. It would not count as gaslighting unless there was a repeated pattern over time — a pattern based on a desire to deny recognition of the other’s experience."

Why does it matter if we call something gaslighting when it's not?

“Gaslighting is often used in an accusatory way when somebody may just be insistent on something, or somebody may be trying to influence you," Dr. Stern told Well + Good. "That’s not what gaslighting is.” She shared that accusing someone of gaslighting when they are really just insistent on a strongly held opinion, or belief shuts down a conversation in an unhealthy way.

Stern and her colleague Marc Brackett at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence wrote in the Washington Post, "Today, many people use 'gaslighting' when someone merely disagrees with them. Well-meaning partners, co-workers, or family members may not be skilled in resolving conflict in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean they’re gaslighting — or being gaslighted. Mislabeling and name-calling can break down communication. It can also lead you to think you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship when you’re not."

Gaslighting is "an extreme form of emotional abuse," according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, so if you wonder if you may be the victim of a gaslighter, get advice from a professional therapist who has the knowledge and experience to help.

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Here’s how one nonprofit org is using Adobe to change the world

Adobe empowers nonprofits to fundraise, advocate, and further their missions.

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In 2024, it’s practically impossible to function as a nonprofit without the right digital resources. Nonprofits use computer systems and applications for things like education, fundraising, engaging clients, and communicating with donors. However, with limited funding and expertise, it's often difficult to get the digital tools they need to fully support their missions.

The planet needs nonprofit organizations, and nonprofits need better digital tools. For decades, Adobe has provided nonprofits with the tools they need to fulfill their mission—helping them with everything from social media advocacy to educational videos to graphic design. Now, Adobe is offering the pro version of Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits, the most requested and comprehensive set of document and e-signature tools, for just $15 per user per year, which represents a 94% annual savings off the regular price. This will make it easier than ever for nonprofits to streamline business processes and increase their impact with engaging educational and fundraising assets – from annual reports, contracts and grant submissions to brochures and white papers.

Keep reading to hear more about how Adobe helped one nonprofit improve efficiencies and giveback potential – and how you can start using Adobe tools today for your organization.

A nonprofit success story

Albert Manero, a mechanical engineer and graduate of the University of Central Florida, founded Limbitless Solutions, Inc., as a passion project in a small lab. Today, Limbitless is celebrating its 10-year anniversary and has grown into an interdisciplinary team based at the University of Central Florida in Orlando that includes 50 interns with nine different fields of expertise. Their mission? To inspire and empower underserved communities through creative, accessible technology.

Manero and his team of experts create bionic, 3D-printed arms for children with limb differences. Combining visual storytelling with art and engineering, the Limbitless team wants children with limb differences to feel included and capable, while at the same time, able to express their personal identity more fully. Developing bionic arms covered in flowers or designed like Iron Man’s armor, kids with these bionic limbs can not only grip objects, hold hands and more, but can feel empowered to be themselves.

Using Adobe to make a difference

Limbitless, like many others, has utilized Adobe for Nonprofits offerings, which gives nonprofit organizations access to Adobe programs at a deeply discounted rate, including access programs like Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Express and Adobe Acrobat as well as Adobe’s 3D tools.

Adobe solutions are the oil that keeps organizations running smoothly behind the scenes. For the grant application and reporting processes, employees at Limbitless have credited Adobe Acrobat with helping the team secure funding and communicating clearly with donors and partners. With Acrobat, they’re able to create, edit, and manage PDF documents that look professional and polished. The company has also transitioned most of its internal documentation to digital formats using Acrobat. This includes everything from design blueprints, brand guidelines, intern contracts, and user manuals for bionic limbs.

Better tech for a better future

In addition to helping day-to-day operations run smoothly, Adobe has also helped bring Limbitless’ mission of inclusion and accessibility outside of office walls.

Using Adobe Express, the fast and easy create-anything app, Limbitless has been able to create quick how-to videos for young patients and their families that showcase how to use their bionic limbs, as well as a series of videos promoting STEAM (science, technology, engineering art and math) education. The company’s Operations, Advocacy, and Logistics team utilizes Express as well, developing content and visual assets for their social media accounts. Recently, Limbitless partnered with the Adobe Express’ Animate Characters team to create six unique, limb-different selectable avatar characters for their educational outreach and social media campaigns.

And Adobe is helping Limbitless empower kids with limb differences, too: Limbitless’ comic series, Bionic Kid, was created using Adobe Illustrator and features a superhero with limb differences who uses a Limbitless prosthetic arm. This inspired a fundraising concept initiated from the idea by a Limbitless prosthetic recipient Zachary Pamboukas, which has been used in fundraising efforts for more bionic arms and has already raised over $20,000.

Inside the organization and out, Adobe is enabling people to reach their full potential, contributing to better nonprofit organizations and, overall, a better world.

Learn more about the new Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits offering and explore more ways Adobe can help your organization today.

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Someone asked if 80s kids really 'roamed freely.' After 40,000 answers, the truth is clear.

There is definitely some rose-colored nostalgia in these responses, though.

Photo credit: Canva, @othingstodo_com/X

Were 80s childhoods really as feral as they sound?

Ah, the nostalgia of an 80s childhood. If you've ever watched "The Goonies" or "Stranger Things," you've seen how kids of all ages were largely left to their own devices most of the time, parents playing a background role if any role at all. Children went on unsupervised outdoor adventures for hours upon hours, getting into just enough trouble to learn some lessons but not enough to die (usually).

But is that really what childhood in the 80s was like? Were parents really that hands-off? Did kids really roam around freely like the movies and stereotypes portray? Were people really not worried about what the kids were up to when no one knew where they were and no one had cell phones to check in?

Someone asked that very question and the overwhelming response pointed to a clear answer.

Yes, 80s kids really did have childhoods that are hard to imagine now

"Did parents in the 80s really allow their kids to roam freely, or is that just a portrayal seen in movies?" X user OThingstodo asked. Here are the top responses:

"Really. And it was awesome."

"Facts. We are the generation who raised ourselves. There really was a commercial that came on each night asking parents if they knew where their children were. We survived off hose water & anything we perceived as food. (Berries, fruit trees, etc) We were not allowed to sit inside.. if we tried, we'd get loaded down with chores. We truly were the feral generation.. we took no guts, no glory to new heights & feared absolutely nothing. It was amazing times that still, to this day, bring forth a rush of nostalgia at the smallest memory."

"This is so true. And Sometimes we just got to cook our own TV dinners. And our parents did not constantly have to engage us or make sure we weren’t bored."

"Allowed? We were not allowed in the house during the day. We had bikes and friends. There was 3 rules 1: don't get hurt 2: don't be brought home by the police 3: see that light? If it's on you're late and grounded."

"In the summer it was get home when the streetlights come on. Raised on hose water & neglect. It was glorious."

"I used to roam the sewer drains around town with my friends. Just a handful of us and some flashlights."

"Yep. We rode our bikes all over the place exploring reality. We also had unlicensed lemonade stands, and after we sold out, we’d ride up to the store alone to buy snacks alone. We had our own house keys, we stayed home alone after school, and we cooked for ourselves. No one freaked out about it either."

"We left the house after school and they wouldn’t see us until the street lights came on. Didn’t ask us where we had been or what we did either. We were raised on hose water and neglect in the 70’s and 80’s."

"Well into the 90s. They told us to be home for dinner by ___ or before nightfall. They didn't have a clue where we were or really any way of finding out. This was just the norm. ... then cell phones."

"It’s true. Realize that back then, there weren’t cell phones, video games, 24 hour kids TV, etc. You wanted to be with your friends & that was outside, even in winter. Your bike was your prized possession & while there were bad elements then too, it wasn’t like now. Sad."

That last point, "while there were bad elements then too, it wasn't like now" sentiment came up a lot in the responses. Let's dive into that a bit.

It's easy to look at the past through rose-colored glasses

For the most part, everything people said about those 80s childhoods is true, except this: The world was not safer back then. There weren't fewer "bad elements" and there wasn't less crime.

Around the year 2015, articles started coming out about how children were statistically safer than they'd ever been.

In fact, statistically, the 80s were less safe than now by pretty much every measure. Looking at violent rime statistics from 1960 onward shows that the 80s had significantly higher violent crime rates than we've seen in the 2000s. The idea that Gen X childhoods were carefree with nothing to fear is simply wrong. We just weren't aware of everything there was to fear.

Social media and 24-hour cable news networks put scary things in front of our faces all day every day, giving us a skewed perception of reality. And that's not just conjecture—according to Pew Research, Americans tend to think crime is rising even when it's going down. "In 23 of 27 Gallup surveys conducted since 1993, at least 60% of U.S. adults have said there is more crime nationally than there was the year before, despite the downward trend in crime rates during most of that period."

The folks remembering their free-range childhoods as blissful and safe seem to have forgotten that we started our days pouring milk from cartons that had pictures of missing children on them. A few high-profile abductions and murders of children caused a bit of a missing children panic in the U.S, leading President Reagan to sign the Missing Children Act in 1982 and the Missing Children's Assistance Act in 1984, which founded the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.

But "high-profile" in the 80s meant a spot on the nightly national news and a headline in a newspaper. Most crimes were only reported locally, there as no "going viral online" and it was easy to avoid scary news if you wanted to. We live in a totally different world today, but not in the way people think. We're safer by nearly every measure, from car accidents to infectious disease to violent crime. But we feel less safe, which directly affects how we parent our children.

There was indeed magic in our blissful ignorance

There's something to be said for being unaware of every bad thing that's happening in the world. We may have been less safe in the 80s in actuality, but not knowing that had its perks.

The question is, can we put the genie back in the bottle? Is it possible to give kids an 80s-style childhood in the age of ubiquitous screens and parents being arrested for letting their tweens walk less than a mile from home by themselves?

Societal expectations of what kids can and should do have changed drastically, as have levels of anxiety and fear in general. Parenting styles have shifted toward more involvement and greater attachment, which isn't bad in and of itself but can be taken to an extreme. The neglectful parenting style of the past wasn't ideal and neither is the overprotective style the pendulum swung to.

If we could somehow find a way to give kids the joy of unstructured outdoor exploration of the 80s and the stronger parent-child connections of the present, we might just hit the sweet spot of raising healthy kids. Perhaps the next generation of parents will figure it out.

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Beautiful 'Star Trek' short film gives fans the Kirk and Spock farewell they truly deserve

Unification takes William Shatner’s Kirk on a journey through the afterlife to see Spock one last time.

OTOY/Youtube

Kirk and Spock, together again.

Even if you’re not into Star Trek, you’re probably aware of the legendary friendship (or more, depending on who you ask) shared between Captain James T. Kirk and Spock. It’s part of what made their separate deaths—Kirk’s being in the 1994 film Star Trek: Generations and Spock’s only being a thing mentioned in 2016’s Star Trek Beyond—so bittersweet for many fans.

But now, grieving trekkies can finally get some closure, thanks to a fan film that’s not only an epic, Easter egg-filled crossover spanning the vast canon of Star Trek, but a tearjerking love letter to the two characters who first made the show so special in the first place.

In 765874 – Unification, created by the VFX studio OTOY (Westworld, American Gods), we first see a well known Kirk quote written on the screen:

“How we deal with death is as least as important as how we deal with life”

Then Kirk (William Shatner’s face, but body doubled by actor Sam Witwer) appears, and travels through the afterlife running into a TON familiar faces (including Saavik, Sorak and Yor, to name a few) all leading to Spock (Leonard Nimoy, Lawerence Selleck) on his deathbed. Thirty years later, these two friends finally get the goodbye they deserved before departing the mortal plane forever.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Unification not only achieved amazing technical feats, blending CGI, AI, and practical effects, but also had William Shatner and Susan Bay Nimoy (Nimoy’s widow) serve as executive producers to help ensure accuracy. According to Screenrant, both Witwer and Selleck studied and mimicked Shatner/Nimoy's exact movements for Kirk/Spock, a physical performance enhance by a combination of physical and digital prosthetics.

The result? A ton of happy tears from fans.

“71 years old, I'm sitting watching with tears streaming down my face. Thank you.”

“The long overdue farewell we have waited far too long for. It's so nice to see that there are still people out there who understand Star Trek and are keeping it alive.”

“Who knew 9 minutes of Star Trek with no dialogue would be some of the most powerful!!”

Aside from the fan service of it all, people found the short film to be very a cathartic mediation on death.

“My mother died just after this past New Year’s Eve, and the last thing she said to me was , “Oh , hello “! This is so special to me thank you so much!”

“I am 71 and terminal. I pray that when my time comes, I can have my world's version of this experience. THANK YOU!!!!!”

“My father passed away a few weeks ago and I've been struggling to let my emotions out. This well and truly did it. Been sobbing away.”

Truly, there’s something here for hardcore fans and newbie trekkies alike. Kudos to all the makers of Unification, who boldly helped the legacy of Stark Trek live on in the coolest way possible.

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Study discovers people don't age steadily, but in dramatic bursts at two specific ages

This explains SO much about your 40s.

Photo by Nati/Pexels

If you feel "old" practically overnight, there may be a good reason for that.

Aging is weird. You're trucking along, enjoying your middle-aged life, finally feeling like a real adult, when you look in the mirror one day and gasp. "Where did those wrinkles come from?" "Is that skin on my arm…crepey?!?" "Why am I aching like that?"

Somewhere in your mid-40s, you start noticing obvious signs of aging that seem to arrive overnight. You assume it was a gradual process that you just hadn't noticed, but it sure as heck felt like it happened really fast.

New research indicates that may very well be the case. A study from researchers at Stanford tracked thousands of different molecules in people age 25 to 75 and found that people tend to make two big leaps in aging—one around age 44 and another around age 60. These findings indicate that aging can actually happen in bursts.

“We’re not just changing gradually over time. There are some really dramatic changes,” said senior study author Michael Snyder, Ph.D, geneticist and director of the Center for Genomics and Personalized Medicine at Stanford University. “It turns out the mid-40s is a time of dramatic change, as is the early 60s. And that’s true no matter what class of molecules you look at.”

The researchers assumed the mid-40s changes would be attributed to menopausal or perimenopausal changes in women influencing the overall numbers, but when they separated the results by sex they saw similar changes in men in their 40s.

"“This suggests that while menopause or perimenopause may contribute to the changes observed in women in their mid-40s, there are likely other, more significant factors influencing these changes in both men and women. Identifying and studying these factors should be a priority for future research,” said study author Xiaotao Shen, PhD, a former Stanford Medicine postdoctoral scholar who now teaches at Nanyang Technological University Singapore.

older couple smiling togetherAging happens in bursts, scientists find.Photo by Tristan Le/Pexels

The study included 108 participants who submitted blood and other samples every few months for several years. The scientists tracked age-related changes in 135,000 different molecules—nearly 250 billion distinct data points—to see how aging occurs.

The study may shed light on the reasons for jumps in certain diseases and maladies at certain ages. For the 40-somethings, scientists found significant changes in molecules related to alcohol, caffeine and lipid metabolism; cardiovascular disease; and skin and muscle. For those in their 60s, changes related to carbohydrate and caffeine metabolism, immune regulation, kidney function, cardiovascular disease, and skin and muscle were found.

The study authors did note that lifestyle might play a role in some of these changes. For instance, alcohol metabolism may be influenced by people drinking more heavily in their 40s, which tends to be a period of higher stress for many people. However, the researchers added that these bursts of aging in the mid-40s and early 60s indicate that people may want to pay closer attention to their health around those ages and make lifestyle changes that support greater overall health, such as increasing exercise or limiting alcohol.

The research team plans to study the drivers of these aging bursts to find out why they happen at these ages, but whatever the reasons, it's nice to know that the seemingly sudden onset of age-related woes isn't just in our imaginations.

It's understandable that worry about aging, as physical signs of aging remind us of our own mortality. We also have all kinds of social messaging that tells us youth is ideal and beautiful and old is bad and ugly, so of course we give aging the side-eye. But none of us can avoid aging altogether, so the more positive and healthy we are in our approach to aging is, the better off we'll be, no matter when and to what degree aging hits us.


This story originally appeared in August.

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10 pieces of seemingly ridiculous advice that people swear works

Would you give any a try?

Photo credit: Canva

People spill 10 weird life hacks that actually work

People give advice on all kinds of things whether you asked for it or not. Sometimes the advice you receive is solid, well thought out helpful advice that comes from years of experience. Other times the advice makes little sense or was simply unsolicited and unhelpful. Then there's the kind that seems nonsensical but you try it anyway because you've reached a level of desperation you'd rather not share and much to your surprise, it works.

But wouldn't it be fabulous if you didn't have to reach the brink of desperation to know if some of ridiculous sounding advice actually worked? There are certainly going to be instances where it doesn't matter how well other people proclaim a thing works, not everyone will want to try it. But there are times when the advice feels so outlandish or cliché that you have to share it with others when it works as promised.

There's a plethora of seemingly ridiculous advice out there that actually does work...or at least some people swear it does. Here are 10 pieces of weird advice that may make you scratch your head but supposedly work.

Sleepy Go To Sleep GIF by Simian RefluxGiphy

1. Did you try turning it off and back on again?

It doesn't matter if it's your smart TV or your toddler, there's nothing quite as effective as turning the thing off and on. Feeling a little grumpy, take a nap. It's the human equivalent to unplugging something and plugging it back in or turning it off and on. Someone shares the time tested tip saying, "turn it off and on again. There is a reason that this works in a lot of cases, it's not just bullsh*t advice."

2. Using household items to solve problems works

You probably remember hearing as a kid using peanut better or an ice cube gets gum out of someone's hair. There are all sorts of little tricks to solve everyday problems with things you already have handy, like if your kid puts a bunch of oil in their hair–pretend they're a baby duck and whip out the Dawn dish soap. But there's more, one person explains, "Ketchup cleans brass. Melting a crayon into rusted threads gets the bolt out easily," before someone else chimes in, "and pepsi cleans everything, so long as you don't leave it in so long it melts."

Cheese Pam GIFGiphy

3. "Say cheese"

There's a reason customer service people sound so cheerful and it's not always because they love their job. The customer service representatives that make you feel like they're having a great day when you're calling about an error in your billing, they may just be hiding a secret–it's not cheese. Someone relays, "Smile when talking on the phone to someone. It can actually make you sound more friendly and approachable. The person you are speaking to should sense this and may respond to you better."

People confirm the validity of this advice with one saying, "Tried this in a couple of Interview phone calls and I can attest to it, IT WORKS," while someone else writes "If affects your own mood too and will often genuinely make you feel chirpier."

"Smile, even when you don’t feel like it. It sounds so fake, right? But the weird thing is, even forcing yourself to smile can actually trick your brain into feeling a little happier or more positive. It’s not a cure for everything, but it can definitely help shift your mood, even if it’s just for a moment," another chimes in. Pretty sure there's a song about it by Nat King Cole, too so there must be something to this smiling thing.

Ice Fridge GIF by MillionsGiphy

4. Keys go in the refrigerator

Yes, keys go in the refrigerator not on the key hook...well that's if you don't want to forget your lunch according to one advice giver, "put your keys in the fridge with your leftovers when you're heading out. Haven't forgotten my lunch at home since starting this weird habit five years ago." Now that's a nifty little trick that your stomach may thank you for later.

5. You don't have to hang upside down to cure hiccups

A couple of the most common cures to hiccups is to hold your breath or hang upside down but there may be an easier more interesting way. While people have sworn by placing a piece of paper on your head as a cure for the annoying body glitch, someone shares a hack that works every time saying, "Got the hiccups? Drink water from the opposite side of the glass. Lean forward and drink upside down. Looks absolutely ridiculous but has worked for me every single time since my college roommate taught me this trick." Another person backs them up, "Can confirm. I’ve been doing this for years! Always take a lungs filling deep breath and hold it before looking ridiculous."

Uhhh No GIF by Brittany BroskiGiphy

6. "Make them tell you no"

There are many instances where people talk themselves out of something they desire because they're embarrassed or feel under qualified but one person offers solid advice, "'Make them tell you no.' It's great when you're not sure if you should apply for a job, go for a promotion or a raise, or do something you're afraid of. Don't be so worried about getting told no or failing, you'll surprise yourself."

7. Minding your business keeps you young

Advice so good it pops up multiple times in multiple places. If someone isn't being harmed then minding your business is free and does wonders for your life expectancy according to one person's grandfather, "My grandad lived to be 95. I asked him what the secret to a long happy life was. He told me to mind my own business."

Sick Season 4 GIF by FriendsGiphy

8. Unexpected invisible hairballs may be on the rise

Sometimes it's not years of wisdom that bring about odd advice that works wonders, advice from the mouth of a babe has an extraordinary success rate. "From my 7 year old daughter…I still laugh about it today. If you’re ever in an awkward situation with someone or need to just go away- you could always pretend to choke on something. I don’t know where this came from but it’s funny AND it works. You just run away to get a glass of water," someone adds.

9. Look out the corner of your eye

Our eyes are pretty amazing, especially when they work like they're supposed to but did you know about this advice for finding things in dim lighting? According to a commenter answering a prompt on weird advice, they claim our eyeballs have a secret superpower, "If looking for something in a low light environment, try to use your peripheral vision. I read about it in an old WWII manual about aerial combat at night. It has something to do with how eyes work. It has helped me many times over the years. For finding stuff in a darkened room, or outside in a field at night, not aerial combat."

Someone recalls the scientific reason this trick works, writing "if I remember what I learnt from school correctly, it's because rod cells, which are responsible for black-and-white vision and work fine in dim light, are more abundant in the periphery of retina compared to that in the centre."

Brushing Season 3 GIF by Nanalan'Giphy

10. Just start something

There's a saying that "anything worth doing is worth doing badly." Meaning that if you're choosing between doing nothing and doing a poor job at something due to lack of energy, depression or absence of time, it's best to do something than nothing at all. Someone shared a similar piece of advice that they received from elderly southern relatives, "Somethin’ ain’t nothin’— taking 5 minutes to workout, clean, work on a big project, etc. is better than 0 minutes. We often think we’ve got to do 2 hours of rigorous work or it doesn’t accomplish anything."

Just get started and if you've never heard of these random bits of life advice give some of them a try if you'd like to see how they work out. If you have your own weird but effective advice, drop it in the comments to share with others.

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Third graders wrote these adorably persuasive descriptions for local shelter animals

A Pennsylvania teacher partnered with a shelter to create the purrfect writing assignment.

Photo credit: Canva

Kids writing shelter animal descriptions is a win-win all around.

For kids, school assignments can often feel disconnected from the real world. Math story problems that ask how many pancakes could fit on a roof, for example, or essay questions about things they're just not interested in. For teachers, finding ways to engage students in learning in a meaningful way can be a challenge, but one teacher's approach to teaching writing shows how a little creativity and community-mindedness can create a win-win assignment for everyone.

Amy McKinney, a teacher in Pennsylvania, was teaching her third graders about persuasive writing. But rather than have them formulate an argument for an imagined audience, McKinney partnered with a local animal shelter to give her students an authentic audience to write for—and a super compelling reason to persuade them.

"Our class teamed up with an animal shelter to help their pets get adopted!" McKinney wrote on Instagram. "We were sent a short description and a photo of each pet. My students each chose one pet to write about and sent our essays to the shelter to display and post to their social media channels."

“My students’ engagement was tremendous!" she added. "They knew the work they were doing would make a huge difference in a pet’s life, so what normally takes us a couple of weeks to do, we completed in just days.”

Knowing that something you're doing could have a real-world impact is a strong incentive, no matter what your age, but considering how much kids usually love animals, it's no surprise the kids were into it. Animal shelters are always looking for ways to get furever homes for the animals in their care, so this assignment was truly purrfect.

The first-person (or first-animal) descriptions the kids came up with were cute and clever. Imagine seeing write-ups like these ones and trying to say no to the cute furry faces they go with :

Hi, my name is Peaches & all I want is a family. ADOPT ME PLEASE. I’m very sweet. I like to be petted. I have a unique color. I have built in highlights. Please can I have a family to love? The months here feel like forever. Obviously, I’m the best one of all.

Adopt me, please! I love other dogs! I’m Pete and I enjoy other dogs. To begin with, if you have another dog I’d be great. Second of all, I am only 20 pounds at 5 years old. I’m not a big dog so. You could probably lift me up. Lastly, I’m kind of shy but I’ll warm up. All I need is a little baby talk and some petting. Please adopt me. All I want is a family. Can’t you just help me?

Have you ever seen a dog as cute as me? HI, I’m Judd! I would love to be a part of your family. I’m super cute, I’m goofy, and love people. I would love to go with an energetic family and I’m wonderful. I was born on 5/25/2018. I’ve been in the shelter for about a year and I would love to go home with you. I want to go on adventures with a family! I love spending time with humans and I love running around. That is why you should adopt me. I’ll be waiting for you to come to get me!

Hi! My name is Julia. Have you ever seen such a cute cat as me? I would love to be in your family. First, I love head scratches. If you bring me home we could cuddle. Next, I am very sweet. I will come up to you to receive love. Last, I am energetic. I love running around. As you can see, I am a really great cat to have!

Don’t worry I’m not bad luck even though I am black! My name is Ursula. Please adopt me! First, I like to snuggle. I am nice don’t worry I won’t scratch! Second, I like head scratches. While we snuggle you can scratch my head. Most importantly, I am really small. When you need something you can’t reach, I’ll get it! Now you know you can adopt me.

Have you ever seen such adorable eyes and fur? My name is Bandit. I’ve been here too long. First would love a home to snuggle. If you bring me home we will cuddle. Next, I don’t enjoy being in the shelter. I don’t like being in a small cage. Last I am shy but enjoy being petted. I love getting scratched on the head. Obviously, I’m the best one!

The kids even drew pictures to go along with their persuasive descriptions, which made them all the more adorable.

Lots of teachers in the comments said they planned to contact animal shelters in their area and do something similar with their students. Here's to teachers thinking outside the box—and outside the classroom—to help their students apply their learning to the real world.

You can follow Amy McKinney on her Instagram page, The Unique Classroom.

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