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Health

Positive psychology expert shares how her simple 'Monday Math' can help you live your best life

It's a positive wake-up call.

monday match, 4,000 mondays, jodi wellman
via Matthias Cooper

A woman enjoying her life.

It can be frustrating to feel motivated enough to pursue your dreams when your life is already packed with responsibilities and you have a limited amount of energy and attention. But we all have those things in life we’ve always wanted to do, such as learning a skill, traveling, or becoming more physically and mentally fit.

Jodi Wellman, who has a Master’s degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania and founded Four Thousand Mondays, coaches people on how to be more motivated by facing their limited time on Earth.

The concept may seem a bit morbid initially, but she says that when people honestly appraise their mortality, it’s great for long-term motivation. “My top tip is to get granular with what I call mortality math,” Wellman told CNBC Make It. “So we have to get really in tune with the temporary nature of our lives ... because otherwise, we won’t take action, we will languish.”

Wellman has a calculator on her site that shares the number of Mondays you have left based on current life expectancy. (The following is a calculation for a 47-year-old man.)

get motivated, four thousand mondays, jodi wellman

The number of Mondays a 47-year-old man has left.

via Four Thousand Mondays

Wellman believes that when we truly understand we can only put things off for so long, we are more likely to follow our passions. “Later is an elusive time that may never come,” Wellman said. It’s also worth considering that some of the Mondays come when we’re older when it's more difficult to travel or do things that require physical strength.

“If you were going to die tonight, what would you wish you had taken action on? Maybe there’s an opportunity to start that today,” she added.

Mondays help put our lives in perspective. For many, it’s the first day back at work after the weekend, when it's time to get back on task, make new plans, start a new habit, or take on new responsibilities. Knowing there are only so many left can be a great motivator.

Wellman’s Four Thousand Mondays philosophy is based on the psychological concept of temporal scarcity, which states that it can be challenging to find joy in some of life’s pleasant experiences unless we know that they will come to an end.

It’s also based on the Freudian principle that we tend to seek pleasure and avoid pain and we will go to great lengths to prevent momentary pain. This can hinder us from pursuing our dreams which might involve a bit of initial discomfort.

By counting the number of Mondays we have left, we can avoid having painful end-of-life regrets when we realize that time is running out on our dreams. Wellman hopes that her philosophy provides a wake-up call for people to start living the life they always wanted because it’s later they think.

“We can fathom our deathbed regrets, for example, to sprinkle that dose of ‘oh sh**’ we need to take action in our lives,” she wrote on her blog. “We can focus on our limited lifespans and live with verve and vigor, to avoid the pain and heartache of a lackluster life we didn’t try hard enough to enjoy. In short, we will brazenly embrace the dark side… like a sneaky shortcut to the bright side.”

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3 organic recipes that feed a family of 4 for under $7 a serving

O Organics is the rare brand that provides high-quality food at affordable prices.

via Becca Tapert/Unsplash

A woman cooking up a nice pot of pasta.

Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.

By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.

Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.

O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.

“We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”

With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.

Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)

O Organic’s Tacos and Refried Beans ($6.41 Per Serving)

Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 20 minutes

Total time: 22 minutes

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 packet O Organics Taco Seasoning ($2.29)

O Organics Mexican-Style Cheese Blend Cheese ($4.79)

O Organics Chunky Salsa ($3.99)

O Organics Taco Shells ($4.29)

1 can of O Organics Refried Beans ($2.29)

Instructions:

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].

3. Add taco meat to the shell, top with cheese and salsa as desired.

4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.

tacos, o organics, family recipesO Organics Mexican-style blend cheese.via O Organics

O Organics Hamburger Stew ($4.53 Per Serving)

Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 7 hours

Total time: 7 hours 15 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 ½ lbs O Organics Gold Potatoes ($4.49)

3 O Organics Carrots ($2.89)

1 tsp onion powder

I can O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 cups water

1 yellow onion diced ($1.00)

1 clove garlic ($.50)

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 tsp Italian seasoning or oregano

Instructions:

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.

3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.

4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.

5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!

potatoes, o organics, hamburger stewO Organics baby gold potatoes.via O Organics


O Organics Ground Beef and Pasta Skillet ($4.32 Per Serving)

This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 25 minutes

Total time: 27 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 tbsp. olive oil

2 tsp dried basil

1 tsp garlic powder

1 can O Organics Diced Tomatoes ($2.00)

1 can O Organics Tomato Sauce ($2.29)

1 tbsp O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 1/4 cups water

2 cups O Organics Rotini Pasta ($3.29)

1 cup O Organics Mozzarella cheese ($4.79)

Instructions:

1. Brown ground beef in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks.

2. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder

3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.

4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

5. Remove the lid, sprinkle with cheese and allow it to cool.

o organics, tomato basil pasta sauce, olive oilO Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil.via O Organics

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Science

What will Earth look like if all its land ice melts? Here's your answer.

Climate change isn't pretty.

via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

A map of the United States post land-ice melt.




Land ice: We got a lot of it.

Considering the two largest ice sheets on earth — the one on Antarctica and the one on Greenland — extend more than 6 million square miles combined ... yeah, we're talkin' a lot of ice.

But what if it was all just ... gone? Not like gone gone, but melted?

If all of earth's land ice melted, it would be nothing short of disastrous.

And that's putting it lightly.

This video by Business Insider Science (seen below) depicts exactly what our coastlines would look like if all the land ice melted. And spoiler alert: It isn't great.

Lots of European cities like, Brussels and Venice, would be basically underwater.

In Africa and the Middle East? Dakar, Accra, Jeddah — gone.

Millions of people in Asia, in cities like Mumbai, Beijing, and Tokyo, would be uprooted and have to move inland.

South America would say goodbye to cities like Rio de Janeiro and Buenos Aires.

And in the U.S., we'd watch places like Houston, San Francisco, and New York City — not to mention the entire state of Florida — slowly disappear into the sea.

All GIFs via Business Insider Science/YouTube.

Business Insider based these visuals off National Geographic's estimation that sea levels will rise 216 feet (!) if all of earth's land ice melted into our oceans.

There's even a tool where you can take a detailed look at how your community could be affected by rising seas, for better or worse.

Although ... looking at these maps, it's hard to imagine "for better" is a likely outcome for many of us.

Much of America's most populated regions would be severely affected by rising sea levels, as you'll notice exploring the map, created by Alex Tingle using data provided by NASA.

Take, for instance, the West Coast. (Goodbye, San Fran!)

Or the East Coast. (See ya, Philly!)

And the Gulf Coast. (RIP, Bourbon Street!)

I bring up the topic not just for funsies, of course, but because the maps above are real possibilities.

How? Climate change.

As we continue to burn fossil fuels for energy and emit carbon into our atmosphere, the planet gets warmer and warmer. And that, ladies and gentlemen, means melted ice.

A study published this past September by researchers in the U.S., U.K., and Germany found that if we don't change our ways, there's definitely enough fossil fuel resources available for us to completely melt the Antarctic ice sheet.

Basically, the self-inflicted disaster you see above is certainly within the realm of possibility.

"This would not happen overnight, but the mind-boggling point is that our actions today are changing the face of planet Earth as we know it and will continue to do so for tens of thousands of years to come," said lead author of the study Ricarda Winkelmann, of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research.

If we want to stop this from happening," she says, "we need to keep coal, gas, and oil in the ground."

The good news? Most of our coastlines are still intact! And they can stay that way, too — if we act now.

World leaders are finallystarting to treat climate change like the global crisis that it is — and you can help get the point across to them, too.

Check out Business Insider's video below:

This article originally appeared on 12.08.15

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Joy

Now's your chance to help someone doing good in your community win $1000 towards the charity of their choice

Upworthy and P&G are back with the #ActsOfGood Awards.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24th-June 3rdhere.Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90,000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

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Health

17 simple things that helped real people improve their mental health big time

Never underestimate the power of a simple tweak.

Photo credit: Canva

We're all in this together.

It seems safe to say that all of us would like to improve our mental health in one way or another. Or at the very least, protect the sanity we currently have against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

However…figuring out exactly how to do that can feel overwhelming. It can be easy to assume that unless you’re waking up two hours every morning to perform deep meditation, going to therapy twice a week, reading all the self help books and throwing every single one of your devices away, it won’t make much of a difference.

But people from all walks of life do make great strides in their well being simply by incorporating consistent habits. Recently, Dependent_Bit_8333 asked folks to name some lifestyle changes that "massively improved” their mental health. None of the answers were complicated. But they all are pretty profound in their own way.

Check them out below.

1. "De-emphasizing the importance of my every thought. Most human thoughts are nonsense. I question every single negative thought, and every single one so far has turned out to be bullshit. No joke. It’s a game-changer."

meditation, mindfulness, mental health

We are not our thoughts.

Photo credit: Canva

"I came to this practice by reading Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie, mostly. Both reference great spiritual leaders throughout human history (Jesus, Lao Tzu, The Buddha, Ramana Maharshi) who all point to this notion as a path to end suffering. There are many contemporary writers who also point to the same truths (some mentioned here)."—u/JaxMema

2. "When I stopped being in a hurry. Urgency is a trauma response and, with current American culture focused on everything happening immediately, it's easy to lose yourself to being in a hurry."—u/rahyveshachr

3. "Taking care of plants and watching them grow, it gave me a sense of responsibility and they also purify the air!"—u/snoopyluva

4. "Writing!! You don’t realize how much is ruminating up there until you take pen to paper. Been writing pretty much daily for almost a decade, an outlet that’s very near and dear to my heart."—u/lukyspeed14

5. "People severely underestimate what a tremendous impact sleep has on your day, productivity, and mood. If only I'd realized this in my teens."—u/ComprehensiveGap3773

mental health, sleep

Sleep? I don't know her.

Photo credit: Canva

"6. 'Staying in the present' instead of letting the mind obsess with past and future."—u/ComputersWantMeDead

7. "Being the 'bad guy,' also known as prioritizing yourself. Having been a chronic people pleaser, I was constantly drained and taken advantage of. There is no escaping that some people will be disappointed with you, the question is, will you be disappointed in yourself? The right people in your life will be happy when you are, it's simple but it took me way too long to realize."—u/keeepre

8."Leaving a toxic work environment."—u/badatboujie

9. "Learning to love myself. A few years ago, I was in a very low spot with my self-esteem, and I wanted to be better. My therapist and I talked a lot about treating myself like I would a friend. It sounds cheesy, but I started writing compliments to myself on post-it notes in the morning and placing them on a mirror. It didn’t take too long before I started to believe them. It’s amazing how being nice to yourself and giving yourself grace can really improve your mental health."—u/SeaTonight4033

self love, mental health, self esteem

For some of us, self love take a lot of effort. But it's so so worth it.

Photo credit: Canva

10. "Reducing clutter and your general volume of possessions helps a lot."—u/ashoka_akira

11. "Removing toxic people from my life. It's amazing how much your mental health can improve just by removing someone who brings nothing but negativity to your life."—u/crazylittlemermaid

12. "Walking. That shit is legit."—u/baylonedward

walking, mental health, mental health tips, exercise for mental health

Such and underrated activity.

Photo credit: Canva

13. "The 'what ifs' were consuming me. I was losing my mind thinking about problems that haven't happened, and may never happen. This little quote from Bill Burr put a lot into perspective for me: 'You're going to be fine; and even if you're not going to be fine, isn’t it better to just exist thinking that you’re going to be fine? And when it’s not fine, then you can just fuckin handle it. There no sense to ruin right now, right?'"—u/MaritimeRedditor

14. "Creating. Especially making something with my hands."—u/thankyouforecstasy

mental health, creativity

Time to break out the finger paints.

Photo credit: Canva

15. "Going. The f*ck. Outside."—u/coilovercat

16. "Having a routine. No matter what my schedule is for the day, whenever I’m in a routine of getting up, getting dressed, and taking a shower, I’m in a good place."—u/elmatador12

…and least, but certainly not least,

17. "Never trust how you feel about your life past 9 p.m."—u/Lyra_Kurokami

Be well out there, folks.

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Family

Mom calls out teacher who gave her son a 'zero' grade for not providing class with supplies

Her viral video sparked a debate as to whether or not providing school supplies should be mandatory for parents.

@shanittanicole/TikTok

A zero grade for not providing school supplies?

The debate as to whether or not parents should supply classroom supplies is not new. But as prices continue to rise, parents are growing more baffled as to how they can be expected by teachers to provide all the various glue sticks, colored pencils, rulers and other various items the incoming students might need.

What’s even more perplexing, however, is penalizing the children of parents who won’t (or can’t) provide them.

This was the case for Shanitta Nicole, who discovered her son received a zero grade in his new school for not bringing school supplies for the entire classroom.

Nicole was especially surprised by this reaction since she had already gone through the effort of making sure her son had every supply he needed from the school’s list, which was slightly different than the one they previously had.

And yet, the 7th grade teacher informed her son that he was still expected to provide for the classroom, not just himself. And, thus, a zero grade, for failing the assignment, so to speak.


Even though Nicole thought the rule was “weird,” she went out and bought the bulk items, which included tissues, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, pencils, Expo markers, and red pens.

And yet, the next week—her son still has a zero. Concerned, Nicole emailed her son’s teacher.

“I’m like, ‘hey…my student has a 83 in the class and everything else in the class is 100s and 98s and he still has a zero for something called ‘classroom supplies.’” she said in a video.

“‘We bought the supplies anyways, but I don't feel like it's the parents' responsibility to supply your classroom. And I definitely don't think it's appropriate to assign a grade to students based off of whether or not they've supplied your class with supplies. That doesn't make any sense.’”

@shanittanicole Am I doing too much? #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

And while Nicole’s email did get the teacher to reconcile the grade, there was no mention to her other concern regarding the responsibility for parents to provide the entire class with supplies.

“So, I emailed the principal because I just, I might be extra, but I just want to see what's going on. Why do I have to buy supplies for the classroom?” the frustrated mom concluded.

Nicole’s video quickly went viral on TikTok, and several weighed in to agree that the teacher’s actions were misguided.

“That is so unfair!! Especially for the kids whose parents CANT afford groceries let alone classroom supplies,” one user wrote.

Another added, “You are not wrong. It is 100% ok for [the teacher] to ask for supplies, but mandate it for a grade? Absolutely not.”

And this point is truly what Nicole took umbrage with, as she noted several times in the comments. It has less to do with being asked to help and more to do with her son’s grade depending on it.

In a follow-up video, Nicole shared that the school principal did end up reaching out, notifying her that while, yes, teachers are allowed to ask for donations, it should never be mandated.

@shanittanicole Replying to @yafavv._.dancer😍😘💞😍😍💞 Graded Supplies Update #fyp #school ♬ original sound - Shanitta Nicolee 💖

“What the teacher was trying to accomplish, but it definitely wasn't appropriate,” the principal told Nicole.

While the teacher might have not handled this situation in the best way, it goes without saying that this is a larger systemic issue—one that isn’t exactly fair to parents, teachers and students alike.

Most public school teachers spend a significant amount of their own money on classroom supplies, to an average of $673 per year, according to a recent survey of more than 1,100 educators by the Association of American Educators (AAE). That number only goes up for teachers in high poverty schools.

At the same time, according to a 2022 survey with Savings.com, the typical parent also spends nearly $600 on school supplies. Plus things like clothes, backpacks, haircuts etc.

In the grand scheme of things, there’s no use placing full responsibility or blame onto teachers or parents. Because either way, students get caught in the crossfire. This is clearly a universal burden that needs attention.


This article originally appeared on 10.5.23

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For the first time ever, a 13-year-old boy has been cured of a deadly brain cancer

The boy’s tumor disappeared after participating in a new clinical trial.

Lucas Jemeljanova, then aged 5, with his parents and sister a year before he was diagnosed with DIPG. (via Facebook)

Lucas Jemeljanova poses with his family a year before being diagnosed with cancer (Facebook)

Few things strike fear in the heart of parents and doctors more than a cancer called diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma, or DIPG. Primarily found in children, DIPG is a highly aggressive brain tumor that is uniformly fatal, with less than 10 percent of children surviving longer than two years after diagnosis.

But for the first time ever, a 13-year-old boy from Belgium named Lucas Jemeljanova has beaten the odds.

Diagnosed with DIPG at age six, Lucas’ doctor Jacques Grill told Lucas’ parents, Cedric and Olesja, that he was unlikely to live very long. Instead of giving up hope, Cedric and Olesja flew Lucas to France to participate in a clinical trial called BIOMEDE, which tested new potential drugs against DIPG.

Lucas was randomly assigned everolimus in the clinical trial, a chemotherapy drug that works by blocking a protein called mTOR. mTOR helps cancer cells divide and grow new blood vessels, while everolimus decreases blood supply to the tumor cells and stops cancer cells from reproducing. Everolimus, a tablet that’s taken once per day, has been approved in the UK and the US to treat cancers in the breast, kidneys, stomach, pancreas, and others—but until the BIOMEDE clinical trial, it had never before been used to treat DIPG.

Lucas Jemeljanova poses with his motherLucas Jemeljanova poses with his mother(lesja Jemeljanova / Facebook)

Though doctors weren’t sure how Lucas would react to the medication, it quickly became clear that the results were good.

“Over a series of MRI scans, I watched as the tumor completely disappeared,” Grill said in an interview. Even more remarkably, the tumor has not returned since. Lucas, who is now thirteen, is considered officially cured of DIPG.

Even after the tumor was gone, Grill, who is the head of the Brain Tumor Program in the Department of Child and Teenage Oncology at Gustave Roussy cancer research hospital in Paris, was reluctant to stop Lucas’ treatments. Until about a year and a half ago, Lucas was still taking everolimus once every day.

“I didn’t know when to stop, or how, because there was no other reference in the world,” Grill said.

While Lucas is the only one in the clinical trial whose tumor has completely disappeared, seven other children have been considered “long responders” to everolimus, meaning their tumors have not progressed for more than three years after starting treatment.

Lucas Jemeljanova poses with his mother to mark cancer awareness monthLucas Jemeljanova with his mother (Facebook)(lesja Jemeljanova / Facebook)

So why did everolimus work so well for Lucas? Doctors think that an extremely rare genetic mutation in Lucas’ tumor “made its cells far more sensitive to the drug,” Grill said, while the drug worked well in other children because of the “biological peculiarities” of their tumors.

While everolimus is by no means a cure, the trial has provided real hope for parents and families of children diagnosed with DIPG. Doctors must now work to better understand why Lucas’ tumor responded so well to the drug and how they can replicate those results in tumor “organoids”—artificially-grown cells that resemble an organ. After that, said Marie-Anne Debily, a researcher in the BIOMEDE trial, “the next step will be to find a drug that works as well on tumor cells.”

In the meantime, however, Lucas’ doctors are thrilled.

“Lucas’ case offers real hope,” said Debily.


Lucas Jemeljanova poses with his familyLucas Jemeljanova with his parents and sister(lesja Jemeljanova / Facebook)




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Parenting

Woman with 'insecure attachment' shows the reality of marrying into an affectionate family

"I want to say I love you back but my brain glitches."

Photo credit: Canva

Reality of marrying into affectionate family when insecurely attached

Attachment style is something that seems to have gained a lot of popularity on social media, which can translate to real life interactions like dating. Everyone wants to have the "gold star" attachment style–secure attachment. Not everyone can have a secure attachment style, but that doesn't mean they'll never have one since this is not a fixed trait.

Shantel Smith, has a self proclaimed insecure attachment style, which can cause people to be a bit more guarded in their approach to interpersonal relationships. The social media creator recently made a video about what it's like to have an insecure attachment style while integrating into a family that is very affectionate.

Smith recently got married and became a stepmother to three children. From the looks of the video, she is adored by her stepchildren and their father, but all of the affection seems to be a bit overwhelming for the new mom.

In the video, Smith gets an unexpected hug from one of her step-kids and appears to be confused and uncomfortable. The next frame highlights "goodbye rituals" where we hear one of the children telling her bye before leaving but continuing to say "I love you" louder and louder until the new stepmom says it back.

Smith writes in the caption of her video, "there was love in my household as a child for sure but affection wasn’t shown the way it is now with my family that I’ve joined."

The video struck a chord with several people in the comments who expressed their own discomfort with being affectionate due to their attachment style or upbringing.

@shantelmsmith Can you say insecure attachment?! This is me keeping it so vulnerable and real with yall. There was love in my household as a child for sure but affection wasn’t shown the way it is now with my family that I’ve joined. Sometimes i find myself asking like “what do they want from me?” Becasue people are not this verbally affectionatebynless they want something from you. Mercy. It truly is a blessing and I’m growing through it lol it is hard some days to receive love, we have in my household,but we have in our household what we call “i love you Shan sundays” thats the day when they can say it as many times as they like without me being weird about it. So im learning to recieve this abundant gift of love and joy and they are learning that its gonna take me some time. #familylife #familytime #parenting #affection #comedy #healing #traumahealing #marriage ♬ All The Way Up (feat. Infared) - Fat Joe & Remy Ma & French Montana

"Just overstimulated and mad after a certain amount of loving," one person says.

"OMG I thought I was the only one thank you for making feel like others understand me," another writes.

"I just felt so seen and triggered at the same time," someone reveals.

"It’s crazy because I’m really trying but it feels weird and I love my family but why you hugging me," one mom says.

"First time my dad said “I love you” I was 24 and I called my brothers bc I thought he was sick or something," a commenter laughs.

Marrying into a family is a big step and takes some adjusting for everyone. While it seems like Smith is still learning, she reveals, "we have in our household what we call “i love you Shan Sundays” thats the day when they can say it as many times as they like without me being weird about it. So I'm learning to receive this abundant gift of love and joy and they are learning that its gonna take me some time."

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