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How to honestly answer the question 'what do you think' without hurting someone's feelings

Let's be transparent, we don't always think a friend's new haircut is great.

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How to answer 'what do you think' without hurting feelings

When someone makes a change to their appearance, they are usually hoping for a positive reaction from those they care about. Let's be honest, even if you're not the kind of person that seeks approval from others, compliments can boost your day. But it's impossible to like every single change to someone's appearance because we all have different styles so what do you say if you hate the new look?

Most people may think it's best to say nothing if they're not directly asked which is great advice if you're talking about someone you don't know well. Saying nothing when your significant other leaves the house with brown waist-length hair and comes back with a blonde bob might end in hurt feelings and a night on the couch.

Instead of lying about how you feel about the change they've made you could simply ask them how they feel about it first. If they love it, then you can simply say, "I'm so glad you love it" while pointing out something positive but truthful, like "the blonde really brings out the color in your eyes." The person will walk away feeling complimented and you can feel good about not lying, though it's not always that easy.

Episode 5 Nbc GIF by Will & GraceGiphy

Sometimes an excited friend or partner will directly ask the question, "what do you think" after revealing a change or new purchase. This is generally where the anxiety comes in because you don't want to be the one that deflates their balloon but you also don't care for the change. Seems this dilemma has caused many discussions with varying answers on how to properly answer it.

Bad Hair GIF by Nat Geo WildGiphy

In response to someone asking what to say about a bad haircut their friend just received, one person says in part, "if you are close enough to criticize each other, then tell him in a way that suits your friendship level. But in general, I think it’s better to mirror your friends feelings. Especially when it comes to a persons appearance. So if they like it? you love it! If they hate it? you dislike it but it’s not their fault, so it’s fine! But you can gently add in some constructive hints or tips. for example; 'it’s good, I think it will look even better when the sides grow out,' 'the volume is great, it will look even better when it’s a bit longer in the front,' 'i like this, I thought your old cut was also great— maybe next time you could try something that’s a mix of both.'"

Episode 1 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Another person responds, "A good rule of thumb for good manners when discussing someone's appearance is never criticize anything that can't be fixed in 5 minutes or less. Given that he has to grow out this cut, and that will take at least weeks or months, let it go. If he likes it and it's what he wanted then don't rain on his parade because you don't personally find it flattering."

"It’s easier to tell someone politely but it might be harder for them to accept the fact that questions that are none of their business, such as looks, weight, whether or not someone is pregnant or planning on having children to name a few are none of anyone’s business, including yours," someone says after an internet user anonymously inquired about disliking a friend's plastic surgery results.

Al Pacino Oscars GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy

"Unless, and I emphasize this, the person is a very close friend and asks for an intimate opinion, do NOT criticize how they look especially if you think it is overdone," another says in response.

Gauging someone's reaction to their altered appearance will help guide your response if asked directly. Being honest without shattering the person's confidence in their looks can be a delicate line to walk, especially if the person is particularly sensitive. Hopefully trying one of the options listed will spare feelings while keeping relationships in tact.


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Here’s a paycheck for a McDonald’s worker. And here's my jaw dropping to the floor.

So we've all heard the numbers, but what does that mean in reality? Here's one year's wages — yes, *full-time* wages. Woo.

Making a little over 10,000 for a yearly salary.

I've written tons of things about minimum wage, backed up by fact-checkers and economists and scholarly studies. All of them point to raising the minimum wage as a solution to lifting people out of poverty and getting folks off of public assistance. It's slowly happening, and there's much more to be done.

But when it comes right down to it, where the rubber meets the road is what it means for everyday workers who have to live with those wages. I honestly don't know how they do it.

Ask yourself: Could I live on this small of a full-time paycheck? I know what my answer is.

(And note that the minimum wage in many parts of the county is STILL $7.25, so it would be even less than this).

paychecks, McDonalds, corporate power, broken system

One year of work at McDonalds grossed this worker $13,811.18.

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The YouTube channel Just Frugal Me discussed the viral paycheck and noted there's absolutely nothing wrong with working at McDonald's. More than 2 million people in the U.S. alone work for the fast food giant. The worker's paycheck shows they put in 72 hours over the pay period making $8.75 per hour. Before taxes, that's $631 for the week. Just Frugal Me's breakdown is even more eye opening, breaking down this person's pay after taxes and weighed across average rent and utility costs. Spoiler Alert: the total costs for basic necessities far outweighs what this person is making even while working 12 hours per day. But they do make too much to qualify for Medicaid, meaning they will have to go out and buy their own health insurance.

Even in states like California, where the state's $20 minimum wage ensures that people earn nearly three times as much as the federal minimum wage, which remains as low as when this paycheck first made the rounds nearly 10 years ago.

Still, even for a worker that maxed out at 40 hours per week and took zero vacation or sick time, that's only a little over $41,000 per year. That's barely half the median wage in the state of $78,000 and far below a sustainable living wage in cities like Los Angeles.


This story originally appeared nine years ago. It has been updated to reflect new information.

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TikTok star's surprising method for finding good Chinese food blew people's minds

Yelp can be a helpful tool for scoping out food joints, but maybe not in the way you think.

Photo by Debbie Tea on Unsplash

Different cultures view service differently.

Content creator Freddy Wong has a brilliantly easy way to find authentic Chinese food. As he reveals in a mega viral video that’s racked up 9.4 million views on TikTok and 7.7 million views on Twitter, the trick (assuming you live in a major metropolitan area) is to “go on Yelp and look for restaurants with 3.5 stars, and exactly 3.5 stars." Not 3. Not 4. 3.5.

He then backs up his argument with some pretty undeniable photo evidence. First, he pulls up an image of a Yelp page from P.F. Chang’s. With only 2.5 stars, one can tell the food is “obviously bad.” Alternatively, Din Tai Fung—a globally recognized Michelin-starred Chinese restaurant—has four stars.

Sounds good right? Wrong. In this case, “too many stars” means that “too many white people like it,” indicating that the restaurant is being judged on service rather than food quality. According to Wong, if “the service is too good, the food is not as good as it could be.”

He then pulls up the Yelp page for a couple of local Chinese restaurants, both of which have 3.5 stars. The waiters at these establishments might “not pay attention to you,” he admits, adding that they might even be “rude.” But, Wong attests, “it’s going to taste better.”

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Why I only go to Chinese restaurants with 3.5 star ratings

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"The dumplings here are better [than Din Tai Fung's]. I've been here," he says of the 3.5 star Shanghai Dumpling House. Considering his Twitter profile boasts a “James Beard Award winning KBBQ Gourmand'' title, it seems like he knows what he’s talking about.

So, why is this 3.5 rule the “sweet spot”? As Wong explains, it all comes down to different “cultural expectations.”

“In Asia, they’re not as proactive. They’re not going to come up to you, they’re not going to just proactively give you refills, you need to flag down the waiter,” he says, noting the different interpretations of service.

"People on Yelp are insufferable,” he continues, arguing that “they're dinging all these restaurants because the service is bad,” but the food is so good that it balances out the bad service. Hence, a 3.5-star rating. His reasoning is arguably sound—people do often give absurdly scathing reviews that in no way accurately reflect a restaurant’s food quality.

“A good Yelp review doesn’t mean it’s a good restaurant — it simply means the restaurant is good at doing things that won’t hurt their online rating,” Wong said in an interview with Today, adding that “highly rated Yelp restaurants are often those with counter service and limited menus, minimizing potential negative interaction with staff.”

He also added the caveat, “I don’t have anything against those places, but I think people who only eat at the ‘highest rated’ restaurants on online review sites are only eating at the most boring restaurants.”

A ton of people in the comments seem to back Wong’s theory.

best chinese food

100% accurate, some say

TikTok

Plus, the theory seems to not be limited to just Chinese restaurants, further implying that maybe there’s more of a cultural misunderstanding, rather than any real lack of quality.

thai food near me

No drink refills but the food is fire.

TikTok

yelp reviews, yelp

2.8 is the new 5

TikTok

One of the gifts that our modern world provides is the opportunity to truly experience and appreciate other cultures. Since food is easily one of the most accessible (and enjoyable) ways to do that, perhaps we should prioritize seeking authenticity, rather than rely on a flawed and superficial rating system.

As Wong told Today, “I hope it encourages people to go out and eat more food from not only Chinese restaurants, but restaurants representing the whole world of cultural cuisines.”


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Steve from 'Blue's Clues' posted an almost entirely silent video that has 90s kids bawling

Hitting millennials and Gen Zers right where they're at.

John Manard/Wikimedia Commons

Steve Burns at Galaxy Con in 2023

In the wake of the docuseries "Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV," kids who grew up watching Nickelodeon are reeling a bit. The documentary unveiled a toxic culture of abuse and exploitation at the network, tainting 90s kids' childhood memories with disturbing behind-the-scenes details of their favorite shows.

But a beacon of light from Nickelodeon still shines in Steve from "Blue's Clues." Steve Burns may have broken children's hearts when he left the show to go to college, but the beloved host has remained a wholesome icon for millennials and Gen Zers who watched him growing up.

In fact, Steve is still bringing comfort to millions, and his latest video on TikTok is a perfect example of how. In a one-minute TikTok, he says only a handful of words, but people are finding themselves tearing up if not outright bawling by the end of it.

What he does is actually very simple, yet the effect is profound. "Hey, just checking in," he says. "Tell me, what's goin' on?" And then he just looks and listens almost entirely in silence, occasionally nodding along. And if you actually go through the exercise of sharing what's going on with you, even just in your own mind, the compassionate listening he demonstrates feels surprisingly powerful.

If you didn't watch Blue's Clues, this may have felt weird or awkward, but Steve asking questions and then pausing for kids to answer was a hallmark of the show. The kids who grew up watching it are now in the Big Adult Things stage of life, navigating relationships, careers, finances, mental health challenges and more, and it can sometimes feel like too much. So similarly to Elmo's viral check-in on X, having a familiar and compassionate listening ear opened the floodgates.

"Not me crying the instant he asked," wrote one person.

"Not me sitting in bed at almost 3 a.m. in tears because Steve from Blue's Clues shows up on my fyp asking what's going on? The one thing we have left that is pure from our childhood," wrote another.

"I just cried for over 5 minutes straight," shared another. "I just realized no one has asked me how I'm doing in such a long time. I can't stop crying."

"I couldn't even get out a word all I did was cry, lol" shared another.

Many people shared that the Nickelodeon documentary had rocked their world and found comfort in Steve being Steve.

"After the Nickelodeon documentary, Steve, all I need is Blue's Clues to save whatever is left of this childhood I once had," wrote one commenter.

"Thank you for being one of the GOOD parts of Nickelodeon, Steve," wrote another.

"Steve checking up on the grown-up kids he left behind is another level of full circle moment," shared another.

"After the Nickelodeon thing we need our Steve now more than ever," agreed another.

And some commenters actually shared the things they are going through, showing why so many people need this kind of check-in:

"Life keeps handing me lemons and I'm not sure how many more I can turn into lemonade. I'm tired, Steve."

"Too much is happening all at once Steve, and idk if I'm getting through it but it's always good to hear from you."

"I lost my mom in January and I'm pregnant with my son…I'm lonely, Steve. I just miss my mom."

"I want to get sober but it's so hard. :("

"I could use a hug, honestly."

Hopefully, Steve's video helped some people realize they really do need someone to talk to so they can seek a therapeutic channel. Thank you, Steve, for giving so many grown-ups the cathartic childhood cry they desperately needed.


This article originally appeared last year.

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