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James Van Der Beek's realization about his identity after cancer has people pondering

"I had to look my own mortality in the eye," said the Dawson's Creek alum. "I had to come nose to nose with death."

Photo credits: SANSIERRASTUDIO (left) Super Festivals from Ft. Lauderdale, USA (right)

James Van Der Beek in 2010 and 2023

There's nothing like a brush with death to make you reflect on your life. It's so easy for all of us to get caught up in the day-to-day details of living and not take the time to ponder the deeper elements of existence, from the nature of the universe to the meaning of life to our own individual role in the big picture.

Existential questions can sometimes feel overwhelming, but actor James Van Der Beek shared a thoughtful 48th birthday message with his own life reflection after facing cancer, and it distills a lot of the angst of those questions into a simple yet profound answer that's hitting home with people.

Van Der Beek, who starred in the millennial favorite Dawson's Creek, announced he'd been diagnosed with stage 3 colorectal cancer in 2024 at age 47. He and his wife, Kimberly, have six children, and in a video shared on social media, Van Der Beek shared the progression from his somewhat unfulfilling identity as an actor to "the ultimate" identity as a husband and father prior to his cancer diagnosis.

"I could define myself as a loving, capable, strong, supportive husband, father, provider, steward of the land that we're so lucky to live on," he said. "And for a long time, that felt like a really good definition of the question, 'Who am I? What am I?'"

"And then this year, I had to look my own mortality in the eye," he continued. "I had to come nose to nose with death. And all of those definitions that I cared so deeply about were stripped from me. I was away for treatment, so I could no longer be a husband who is helpful to my wife. I could no longer be a father who could pick up his kids and put them to bed and be there for them. I could not be a provider because I wasn't working. I couldn't even be a steward of the land because at times I was too weak to prune all the trees during the window that you're supposed to prune them."

He found himself facing the question: "If I am just a too-skinny, weak guy, alone in an apartment, with cancer, what am I?"

So often we define ourselves by our roles in life or by what we do, but what if those things change? Who are we when it's just us, alone, with nothing external to anchor us to a particular identity?

"And I meditated and the answer came through," Van Der Beek shared. "I am worthy of God's love, simply because I exist. And if I'm worthy of God's love, shouldn't I also be worthy of my own? And the same is true for you."

I offer that to you however it sits in your consciousness. However it resonates, run with it," he said. "And if the word God trips you up, I certainly don't know or claim to know what God is or explain God. My efforts to connect to God are an ongoing process that is a constant unfolding mystery to me. But if it's a trigger or if it feels too religious you can take the word 'God' out and your mantra can simply be 'I am worthy of love.' Because you are."


Van Der Beek's sincere, warm delivery and universal message of love and worth hit home for a lot of people. Fellow celebrities and fans alike praised and thanked him for it:

"Happy birthday brother. This was absolutely beautiful 💜🙏🏻💜," wrote singer Chris Daughtry.

"You’re a gift to this earth and I’m grateful to know you even if it’s just through IG. Greatly admire the graceful way you share and happy you made it around the Sun again," wrote New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre.

The Sopranos' Jamie-Lynn Sigler wrote, "That is it James. That is it. And you my friend are love. A steward of love. A teacher of love !❤️. We love you !!"

"I watched this with Bodhi with tears in our eyes and Bodhi said 'that was really touching' thanks for being love James and sharing that with everyone, ❤️" added actor Teresa Palmer.

Battlestar Galactica reboot's Katee Sackhoff wrote, "Thank you for your vulnerability and wisdom ❤️ Amen!'

"You are such a special soul. You are pure love my friend," added actor Nikki Reed. "Worthy of it all… hoping to hug all of you soon. Happy birthday❤️❤️❤️"

Some people took issue with Van Der Beek saying people could remove the word "God" from the message if they wanted to, but the reality is that not everyone has positive feelings about God or religion, and some have even been deeply hurt by people weaponizing them. Van Der Beek making a message of love more universal so that everyone can take it in and benefit from it without barriers or hang-ups is part of what makes it so beautiful. He was able to express his own religious/spiritual experience without shying away from the terminology that was true for him, while also making sure that his message was accessible to everyone regardless of faith or belief.

Perhaps we can all take a lesson from Van Der Beek's sincere, open, and balanced approach as well.

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Breathtaking clip resurfaces of a 16-year-old 'waitress' Ariana Grande singing in a Chili's

"Yes. It's really her."

Ariana Grande / YouTube

A resurface click of a 16-year-old Ariana Grande

Before she was Glinda the Good Witch, before she was a Grammy-winning music sensation, Ariana Grande-Butera was just a girl from Florida with huge dreams. After a quick stint in a Broadway musical, by the age of 15, she was part of the Nickelodeon world, beloved for her role as Cat Valentine in Victorious and it's spin-off Sam & Cat.

After a lot of hard work debuting her first album, the rest is history. But every so often, a picture or video of a teenage Ariana makes the rounds, and the internet goes wild. This time, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok have revived an old clip of a 16-year-old Ariana singing "Happy Birthday" to customers at a Chili's restaurant.

This isn't the first, nor probably the last, time the algorithms have popped this one up to the surface, especially since Ariana is on fire right now. But the fans and comments continue to discuss—with passion—how much they love her, even beyond her latest Wicked sensation.

What's interesting is that many fans still get the whole premise of it wrong. In a clip posted on TikTok, it's described as "Ariana singing happy birthday when she was a waitress at Chili's," then adding, "it's giving Meena vibes" (a reference to a shy performer in the animated film Sing, voiced by Tori Kelly).

@cloud_ari3

it's giving Meena #fyp #foryoupage #arianagrande #arianator #viral #cloud_ari3

There are over 300,000 likes and thousands of comments, with many questioning the original post. One writes, "She was working as a waitress while working on the set of Victorious?? Cuz she didn’t have red hair till the producers made her dye it." Others agree and wonder why she's there, clad in an apron and a tank top.

Some swear they knew her while she worked at the restaurant. "No one believed me that she worked at Chili’s. I remember her photos working there!"

And some are just impressed by both Grande AND Chili's. "Of COURSE Ari would work somewhere as magical as Chili's."

Finally, enough comments reveal that no, she was not, in fact, a working actress, raising money for a St. Jude charity event. "Y'all, she was already semi-famous when she did this. She worked one day as a guest server for a St. Jude Children's Hospital fundraiser."

In fact, that very fundraiser was a Chili's-based campaign called "Create-A-Pepper," whose goal was to raise $50 million for St. Jude Children's Hospital. On Popstar! Magazine's YouTube channel, Ariana shares, "If you donate a dollar or more, they can color in a pepper. The proceeds will go to St. Jude and help raise awareness for kids with cancer."

- YouTube, Popstar! Magazine, Ariana Grande www.youtube.com

In the video, Ariana also gives her heartfelt gratitude to another Chili's employee whom she says has been teaching her "how to be a waitress." The woman commends Ariana on her skills, though admits she doesn't quite know the menu. Ariana laughs and jokes that she's been making up things. "We have a sandwich with bananas and peanut butter and Nutella and fluff."

The Create-A-Pepper campaign is still very much active, and Chili's holds their donation drive every September.

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Nicole Kidman shares the unconventional marriage rule she has with husband Keith Urban

They've had this communication rule since the very beginning of their 18 year relationship.

Wikipedia

Keith Urban (left) Nicole Kidman (right)

Long before Nicole Kidman began her long-term relationship with AMC theaters, she was committed to husband and country singer Keith Urban. The two have happily been together since 2006—which is a good run for any modern day marriage, but most certainly a Hollywood one.

And perhaps their nearly decades-long success can be partially attributed to one surprising communication rule: no texting. While appearing on the Something To Talk About podcast in 2023, Kidman shared that she was the one who initiated the unconventional agreement.

"We never text each other, can you believe that? We started out that way – I was like, 'If you want to get a hold of me, call me…"I wasn't really a texter.,” the “Moulin Rouge” actress shared.

She added that while Urban did attempt texting her a few items early on, he eventually switched when Kidman wasn’t very responsive. And now, 18 years later, they only call each other.

“We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say. We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don’t text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times…I don’t want that between my lover and I,” she told Parade

.

There are, of course, some pros and cons to calling over texting. Research has shown that people who call feelmore connected to one another vs. texting, with the voice being an integral component of bonding. As our society becomes increasingly more distant and lonely, finding those moments might be more important than ever.

At the same time, calling can invoke a lot more anxiety compared to texting, which could lead someone to not communicating at all. Also, I don’t know about you, but the thought of having to call my partner for mundane things like “don’t forget the eggs” would drive me crazy.

But regardless of whether or not you adopt Kidman and Urban’s no-texting rule, perhaps the bigger takeaway is that relationship longevity depends on being able to establish your own rules. One that feels good and that each partner is able to stick to. Especially when it comes to communication.

As Urban himself told E! News at the CMT Music Awards, "I have no advice for anybody,You guys figure out whatever works for you…We're figuring it out. You figure it out. Everybody's different. There's no one size fits all."

Luckily, there are many ways to have good text hygiene, without having to do away with it completely. Very Well Mind suggests to avoid texting too many questions, and to be respectful of your partner's schedule (probably best to not text them while they’re sleeping just to say “hey,” for example). Nor should texting be used to argue or deal with conflict. Lastly, probably save the lengthy, in-depth conversations for a phone call. Fifteen heart emojis are totally fine though.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Fans applaud Sabrina Carpenter's sweet response to a joke Dolly Parton made about aging

“If we treated older women like this more often maybe younger women would be less petrified of aging."

Kristopher Harris/Wikipedia,Condé Nast/Wikipedia

Dolly Parton (left) Sabrina Carpenter (right)

Fans are applauding Sabrina Carpenter for the incredibly sweet moment she shared with one of her biggest idols—the one and only Dolly Parton. The two were recently out promoting a new duet version of Carpenter’s “Please Please Please,” which appeared on her new Short n’ Sweet album, when Parton made an innocent (yet all too familiar feeling) self-deprecating joke about aging.

As the two posed for the cameras, Parton referred to them as “befores and afters,” before quipping “You’ll be this old one day,” to Carpenter. Parton was obviously being lighthearted, but it’s hard not to feel a twinge of sadness when you really think about it. Because, generally speaking, growing older has been something women have been made to fear for, well, their entire lives. So “you’ll be this old one day” almost comes across as an ominous warning, even though that was not really the intention. And you half expect Carpenter to shudder in utter terror at the thought of it all.

But instead, Carpenter quickly replied, “I know, I can’t wait! I hope I look like you,” with such genuine enthusiasm, it really shook people. The complete absence of fear seemed to reflect a refreshing shift from previous attitudes about aging, and viewers took note of its significance.

One person even likened Carpenter to Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, referring to the iconic acne where the titular doll calls an older woman “beautiful.”


By and large, folks hoped that older generations of women would adopt this newfound perspective of celebrating their age rather than bemoaning it. As one person wrote on X, “This is so important to tell older women. I never let older ladies talk down on themselves near me, it breaks my heart how they don’t see their beauty just because of their age.”

And sure, as some pointed out, Parton—with her virtually unlimited access to cosmetic procedures—might not be the prime example of wholeheartedly welcoming aging. But we’re not even really talking about her POV in this scenario anyway. It’s Carpenter’s sincere adoration that’s impactful.

As one person tweeted, “If we treated older women like this more often maybe younger women would be less petrified of aging,” which really hit the nail on the head.

And clearly, judging by other posts, folks share similar sentiments.

“I want more of us to welcome aging like this instead of shunning it and pretending it’s the worst thing that’s going to happen,” one person shared. Another said, “It truly is a privilege to live such a long and fruitful life, I hope more people express this sentiment so younger girls can start to feel this way too.”

It would be naive to think that societal standards have done a complete about face. After all, youth-enhancing cosmetic procedures are on the rise, even for those as young as 20-years-old. But even still, the fact that we are seeing more women, both young and old, tear down this outdated societal mindset shows progress is still being made. And all progress is worth celebrating.

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