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Democracy

It's time to flush these 10 meaningless and harmful buzzwords from our politics

It's time to flush these 10 meaningless and harmful buzzwords from our politics

Politics has always been a mixed bag of genuine discussions about governance, inane partisan bickering, and ongoing struggles for power. As much as I wish we could engage in the first more often, it feels like politics in America has become far more of the latter.

Within those partisan power struggles, the language of politics gets skewed and molded to fit specific purposes. Sometimes, phrases are used as dog whistles calling on people's prejudices. Far too often, the manipulation of words and their meanings—political rhetoric—renders certain terms meaningless as they get tossed around without nuance or context. Ultimately, the repeated use of certain terminology ends up destroying discourse instead of adding to it.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but here are 10 terms I'd love to see us flush from American political discussions:

1. "Real Americans"

There's no excuse for anyone ever using this term. To call certain people "real Americans" implies some kind of defining characteristic that some Americans have and some don't, which is the complete opposite of the country's diverse reality. And who would get to determine that definition, anyway? Do we go by majority? A full 82% of Americans live in urban areas. Does that mean city people are "real Americans" and the rural minority are not? Obviously, that's ludicrous—just as ludicrous as the idea that Americans in diners talking about the Bible are "real Americans." There's simply no such thing.


2. "Identity politics"

It's not that politics based on identity doesn't exist—it's that it has always existed. The entirety of American history is filled with white, land-owning men creating politics around their own identity and excluding people of different identities from the political process in both overt and covert ways. We are where we are because inequality and injustice necessitate pushing for policies based on identity, but let's not pretend that the concept is new. It's just that the identities that are finally getting a voice are those that were kept out by the white, male identity politics that dominated the nation for centuries.

3. "Elites"

This word may have had some meaning at some point, but now it gets tossed around to mean anyone who lives in a city, lives on a coast, has above a certain amount of money, or has a college education. I've also seen it used as a pejorative to describe experts in a field, which is just silly. While yes, there are uber-wealthy people with undue power in politics who can be rightfully scorned as "elites" for snubbing their noses at the concerns of the rest of us, that's a very small group of people. Dismissing the entirety of academia or the entirety of the American coasts or the entirety of people with post-secondary educations as "elitist" is a misuse of the word and needs to stop.

4. "Working class"

On the flip side, the term "working-class Americans" has far too narrow a meaning the way it's usually used. When someone says "working-class Americans" it's usually meant to conjure up images of generally white farm, factory, or mining workers toiling away somewhere in Middle America. Rarely is the term "working class" used to refer to Black or Latino or immigrant workers in big cities, even though they make up a huge percentage of what's technically considered working-class labor. Rarely is the economic anxieties of those urban workers utilized in the same way politically. (The term also makes it sound like only certain kinds of jobs count as "work," which is just weird.)

5. "Blue states/Red states"

The way our electoral system is set up makes the illusion of blue and red states a thing, but it's really not a thing. All states are mish-mosh of people, and all states are closer to 50/50 than 100/0 when it comes to red/blue, Democrat/Republican, liberal/conservative votes. I wish we could do away with those binary political labels altogether, but at the very least we need to stop assigning them to entire states. (And let's ditch the Electoral College that perpetuates the illusion altogether.)

There are lots of different versions of maps that more accurately portray the way the U.S. votes, but the truth is that every place is some shade of purple. And our differences are based much more along an urban/rural divide than a state line one.

6. "Career politician"

Yes, some people make a career out of being in government. Yes, there are some people who stay in politics for the wrong reasons or who have been in their positions for longer than they should. But let's stop saying "career politician" like it's automatically bad. Experience and expertise in any field is generally a good thing, and that's as true for public service as it is for anything else. Newcomers add fresh perspectives and voices to government, but there is also value in putting people who know what they're doing in powerful positions of leadership. We could address the negatives of long-term service by introducing term limits where there aren't any, but let's stop demonizing people who dedicate their lives and careers to public service.

7. "Socialism"

This word has a meaning, and it's not what the vast majority of Americans mean when they use it these days, on either side of the aisle. Socialism is a "social and economic doctrine that calls for public rather than private ownership or control of property and natural resources." Practically no one is advocating for actual socialism in the U.S. Some people think anything having to do with equality or equity is synonymous with socialism, but that's not anywhere close to true. Some people think universal healthcare is a slippery slope to a socialist state, even though they'd never think of public education in the same way. Some people just hear "radical socialist agenda" and start foaming at the mouth, even if what's being described as radical socialism would be considered center-right ideology in most democratic nations we consider our peers. And on the same note...

8. "Radical"

What is often called "radical" isn't really radical these days. The only reason that some things seem radical—as defined by advocating a sweeping change—is because of how long certain things have been allowed to remain status quo. The idea that anyone who works a full-time job should be able to afford to live is not a radical idea. It's just common sense. The idea that no one should go bankrupt or die because they have a medical issue isn't radical—it's the way people in almost every other country live. The idea that people should be able to live free from discrimination for being who they are is not a radical idea—it's simply freedom. The word "radical" is used to make any idea sound out-there, no matter how reasonable it might be in reality.

9. "Fascist"

Not everyone who enacts legislation we don't like is a fascist. Not everyone who pushes nationalism is a fascist. Not even everyone who uses prejudice and fear to drum up populist support is a fascist. Like socialism, this word has been thrown around so often as to have virtually no real meaning anymore. Fascism was a specific form of rule during a specific time and place in history, and though we can point to some similarities of thought or action between politicians now and then, they're not the same. It's not likely that an autocrat dictator would find success with actual fascist practices here, and labeling everything that smacks of authoritarianism or demagoguery as fascism muddies the waters. Authoritarianism and demagoguery are problematic enough on their own, and jumping straight to "Fascism!" enables people to dismiss legitimate concerns over them.

10. "Patriot"

A patriot is someone who loves their country and is willing to defend it. A patriot is not someone who terrorizes their own seat of government because they reject reality and don't like the way the voting went. A patriot doesn't defend an attack on our Capitol or the attempted overturning of an election. A patriot doesn't fly the flag of a defeated country that fought with the United States over the right to enslave Black people and nearly split the nation in two. A patriot doesn't try to keep Americans they disagree with or don't like from voting. A patriot doesn't accuse half of their fellow Americans of being demonic pedophiles. If the people who do any or all of those things are the ones calling themselves patriots, then the word is useless.

Words and their actual meanings matter. Let's discuss ideas. Let's debate policy. But let's do so without slinging around buzz words and phrases that oversimplify positions, play on people's prejudices, and remove the nuance necessary for reasonable discourse.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

A woman is both happy and angry.

There is a psychological concept known as the illusion of control, which states that people believe they have greater control over the events in their lives than they do. If you think about it, a lot of our lives are controlled by chance, whether it's our genetics, the families we were born into, the time and place where we were born, and chance encounters that change the trajectory of our lives, such as the moment we met our spouse or someone with a job opportunity.

People who have it good are more likely to attribute their good fortunes to their effort, while those who are having difficulty getting by are more likely to blame bad luck. No matter how we delude ourselves, one thing is certain: many situations we find ourselves in throughout life are out of our control, and our real power lies in our ability to react.

Knowing how to react to situations beyond our control is the crux of the 90-10 rule.



What is the 90-10 rule?

The 90-10 rule, attributed to Stephen Covey in the bestseller “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” states that 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, and 90% is decided by how you react.

People often explain the 90-10 rule by sharing a story of a mishap at breakfast.

You are having breakfast in business attire and your young daughter spills coffee on your shirt. You reprimand her and your spouse for putting the cup of coffee too close to the table's ledge. Your daughter gets upset and misses her school bus. So you have to drive her to school, and because you’re speeding, you get a $180 ticket. You arrive at work late and the day spirals from there. When you get home from work, you have an annoyed wife and child.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is "D".

In an alternative universe, the coffee spills on your shirt, and you forgive your daughter. You change your shirt, your daughter makes the bus, and you get to work five minutes early. Now, instead of having a day that spiraled out of control, taking a moment to see the spilled coffee as an accident changed the entire day.

What happens when people skillfully respond to events out of their control over a long period? Their lives will be completely different than if they chose to take things out of their control personally.



Here are 3 ways to apply the 90-10 rule. The key is not to take minor inconveniences personally.

1. If someone says something negative about you, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water off a duck's back. You do not have to let the negative comments affect you.

2. If someone cuts you off in traffic, don’t take it personally; who cares if you get to work 10 seconds later? There's no point in letting it ruin your day.

3. If you get to the airport and find out your flight is delayed, don’t get mad at the person working at the ticket counter. It’s beyond their control. The plane will arrive at some point, whether you get worked up or not.

Remember, you can’t control everything, but you can choose how you react to minor annoyances. Choose to respond in a skillful, thoughtful manner without taking things seriously, and you can quickly get past the minor annoyances without causing the adverse ripple effect that can ruin your entire day.

This article originally appeared last year.

Humor

Artist gives 6 of Disney's most beloved characters a modern twist  to explain today's world

"I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes."

Classic Disney characters reimagined for modern times

Artist Tom Ward has used his incredible illustration techniques to give us some new perspective on modern life through popular Disney characters. "Disney characters are so iconic that I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes," he told The Metro.

Tom says he wanted to bring to life "the times we live in and communicate topical issues in a relatable way."

In Ward's "Alt Disney" series, Prince Charming and Pinocchio have fallen victim to smart phone addiction. Ariel is living in a polluted ocean, and Simba and Baloo have been abused by humans.

Not all the news is bad though. LeFou form "Beauty and the Beast" has finally come out of the closet and his crush, Gaston, appears to be pretty accepting of the revelation.

Although, was it really such a shock?

Ward believes that his illustration of Artur from "Sword and the Stone makes" a particularly strong point. "I also think the message of Arthur from The Sword in the Stone sitting on his phone has some resonance today," he said. "He's too engrossed in his phone to experience other opportunities and realize his true potential in life."

You can see more of Ward's work on Instagram.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Education

5 ways people with perpetually tidy homes think differently than the rest of us

For some people, these mindsets and habits are intuitive, but they can also be learned.

Tidy people have a different way of looking at things.

Confession: I am not a neat freak, but I've always aspired to be one. I love neat and tidy spaces and envy those who have a natural knack for keeping their homes perpetually guest-ready. Because I live in a normal-messy home, I appreciate it when people say "No one's house is tidy all the time!" but I also know it's not true. There are people with always-tidy houses. I personally know multiple people whose homes never, ever devolve into cluttered chaos, whose kitchen sinks are always free of dishes, whose tables are never cluttered with stuff and whose master bedrooms look like hotel rooms.

Knowing that it is possible, I've spent years observing my naturally neat friends and family to understand what gives them the seemingly superhuman ability to keep their homes clean 24/7. As one might assume, some of it comes down to a fastidiousness and rigid adherence to routines that some of us simply do not possess. Some of it has to do with how often people are home and how much their home actually gets used. However, those things aside, I've figured out handful of "secrets"—minor habits and mindsets—that we messier folks who yearn to be neater can glean from the naturally tidy.

Messy people think of 'cleaning up' as a separate task. Neat people see it as an inherent part of every activity.

Though it's largely unconscious, we all have ways of thinking through completing any activity, from first step to last step. Take eating, for example. For a naturally messier person, "eating" starts with preparing the food and ends with swallowing your last bite. Cleaning up is not an inherent part of the eating process—it's seen as something separate, an activity that has its own beginning and end, its own time frame, its own energy expenditure, etc.

dishes, cleaning, life hacks, how to clean, tidy, tidinessCleaning up is part of the eating process for naturally neat folks.Photo credit: Canva

For a naturally neat person, however, eating means preparing the food, eating the food, and then cleaning up whatever mess you made. That's the whole cycle of eating. When you see cleaning up as part of the eating process, eating doesn't "end" until the dishes are finished and the kitchen is clean. Without cleaning up, the eating activity is simply incomplete.

For some people, this sound like a "duh" revelation. For some of us, it's a life-changing mindset shift.

Messy folks tend to overestimate how much time cleanup takes. Neat people don't.

Struggling to accurately estimate how much time a task will take is called "time blindness," and it's a common ADHD trait. But even those of us without ADHD can misjudge how long a task will take and form habits around our erroneous assumptions or perceptions.

For instance, I used to put off unloading the dishwasher because it seemed like a huge chore. All those dishes having to go to all those different cabinets—surely that was something that took a significant chunk of time to do. My brain had it labeled as a "big task" and therefore something I needed to carve out time for.

Then I timed myself doing it one day. Not rushing at all, just casually unloading a full dishwasher. It took less than 3 minutes, which was a fraction of the amount of time my brain had assigned to the task. Did I feel silly having subconsciously made a mountain out of a molehill? Yes. Did finding out it only took 3 minutes change how I viewed that chore and make it so I didn't procrastinate it anymore? Also yes.

washing dishes, cleaning, house cleaning, life hacks, tipsUnloading the dishwasher takes less time than you might think.Photo credit: Canva

Neat people don't put off small cleaning/tidying tasks that they know only take a minute or two. Messy people can utilize timers to help them figure out what those are, because surprisingly, mosts tasks don't take as long as you think they will.

Messy people think of cleaning as all or nothing. Neat people utilize tiny time chunks for mini maintenance.

A messy person will pop something in the microwave for two minutes and then zone out or stare at it while it cooks. A neat person will pop something in the microwave and then use that two minutes to wipe down the counter, unload the dishwasher, or sweep the kitchen floor. They'll fold laundry while watching a show and go put it away during a commercial break. They utilize small snippets of time to do little cleaning tasks, which all add up to maintaining a neat and tidy space without having to take big chunks of time to organize or clean.

Messier folks tend to overlook little messes here and there, so they build up until suddenly there's an overwhelming mess to deal with. It helps to think of cleaning and tidying not as one big chore that is either done or not done, but rather as as a conglomeration of tiny tasks that can be done any time you have a minute or two. Eventually, using tiny time chunks to mini-clean becomes habitual.

Mess makers set things down. Neat people put things back.

"Clean up as you go" is a mantra to internalize if you aspire to have a perpetually neat home. If a neat person is baking, they will take out an ingredient, measure what they need, then put that ingredient back where they got it. They do this every time, so when the baked good gets put in the oven, all that's left to do is clean the dishes they used in prep (which is, of course, seen as an inherent part of the baking task). And this isn't just in the kitchen. They do the same thing with their toiletries in the bathroom, their clothes when choosing an outfit, etc. Everything gets put back rather than put down, preventing a mess from the get go.

cleaning, house cleaning, life hacks, tips, cleaning adviceNeat people put things away instead of putting them down.Photo credit: Canva

If a messy person is baking, they'll take out an ingredient, measure what they need, and then set the ingredient down on the counter. Once the baked good gets put in the oven, there's then a whole counter full of ingredients and dish mess to clean up. And because "cleaning up" is seen as a separate task, there's a gearing up of energy that's required as well as a separate time commitment, which makes procrastination more likely.

The key here is to recognize that putting things back where you got them really doesn't take any more time than setting them down but saves tons of time and work later.

Messy people have more things than places. Neat people have more places than things.

"A place for everything and everything in its place" is a mantra that neat people live by religiously and messy folks may not even realize is possible. If a neat person doesn't have a place for something, they find one or make one by getting rid of something else. If a messy person doesn't have a place for something, it sits on a table or countertop or entryway or some other placeholder for an indeterminate amount of time, often moving from surface to surface before eventually being shoved in a drawer or closet to be dealt with later.

Part of living like a neat person is being honest with yourself about the space you have and embracing inflow and outflow of things that enables you to live comfortably in that space. Messy people almost always have too much stuff for their space and therefore not enough places to put things. (This is true no matter how large or small your home is, sorry to say.) Neat people keep things pared down so that everything can have its own place. Regular purging of excess stuff and not holding onto things "just in case" is a huge key to staying neat and tidy.

I can't say that I perfectly implement all of these things all the time, but I can say that being aware of these mindsets and habits and attempting to live more like my "neat freak" loved ones has made a big difference in my home and how I feel about living in it.

This article originally appeared last year.

Modern Families

Woman arranges dream wedding at hospital so her mom can walk her down the aisle

She and her fiancé planned the whole thing in just 2 weeks to make sure Mom could be there.

Canva Photos

A dream wedding is something many people fantasize about from the time they're young kids. Beyond the flowers and the dress and the table settings, we all like to envision it as a day of joy spent surrounded by the most important people in our lives; our parents being chief among them

An adult child's wedding day is an incredibly emotional milestone for any parent. In many ways it's the final stop on a long journey, in which you entrust someone else to become your child's primary caretaker. When you really stop and think about it that way, it's no wonder even the most stoic moms and dads cry like babies at their kids' weddings!

One woman is going viral for highlighting just how important it is to include Mom and Dad. She recently shared tear-jerking footage from her wedding, held at a hospital so both of her parents could be in attendance.


Giphy

Dominique Faludi got engaged to her fiance, Tom, and was exciting to dive into planning her dream wedding. But her mother's declining health made the usual wedding timeline a lot more complicated. The idea of potentially getting married without her mother there just wasn't acceptable for Faludi.

So she and her fiancé decided to do something drastic. Not only did they choose to have the wedding at the hospital where her mom was being treated, they dramatically sped up the process, throwing the entire thing together in just two weeks. Miraculously, the couple pulled it off, with stunning decor and a full audience of beloved family members in attendance — many of whom had never met! It was all a whirlwind, but it's hard to argue with the finished product.

Most important, Faludi's mother got to share an incredible moment with the bride-to-be in her hospital room, where Faludi did a surprise dress reveal. The moment was full of tears and smiles and all the love that you'd expect.

"Getting married at the hospital to have my parents walk my down the aisle was the best decision we’ve ever mad," Faludi wrote in the caption.

Watch the highlights from the special day here:

@dominiquelissa

Getting married at the hospital to have my parents walk my down the aisle was the best decision we’ve ever made🥹 cherishing these moments of joy right now.

People were incredibly moved by the footage, and by Faludi's dedication to remembering what a wedding is really all about.

Over five million people watched Faludi's clips from the wedding and surprise dress reveal. Commenters couldn't get enough:

"You and your husband are the absolute blueprint for what what marriage means and a shining light for what the day means to family. Thank you for sharing."

"As a mama. I am balling my eyes out watching this"

"I’m a wedding photographer— so many people get wrapped up in the decor and colors and so many fun things; but this is what it’s about"

"It never matters where you get married. But it always matters who’s there to share that moment."

Faludi's stunning wedding is an amazing reminder. With wedding costs ballooning completely out of control (the average wedding in the U.S. costs over $30,000), and venues and destinations and experiences becoming more and more extravagant with each passing decade, it's worth pausing to remember that the aesthetics aren't what's really important. What really matters is the people who show up. Your partner, of course, but trusted friends and closest family are just as vital. Some studies have indicated that as the cost of a wedding rises, so does the likelihood of divorce. It could be because the people who love each other the most and have a strong network of loved ones don't get nearly as caught up in the Instagrammable-ness of the wedding as some other couples might.

@dominiquelissa

Grwm & chat all things engagement and getting married in 4 days! Eeeep #engagementstory #wedding #grwm

"Whatever flowers I got, that's fine. The dress, I kind of knew what I wanted and it's perfect," Faludi said in another video. "I'm just trying to keep it all together and say yes to everything my mom wants because it is my day, but it also is her day because her whole life she's been waiting to walk me down the aisle."

Mission accomplished!