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Persuasion expert shares how one word makes people 30% more likely to change their minds

This tactic can immediately get someone on your side.

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Here's how to be 30% more persuasive.

Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use thgem skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”


This article originally appeared on 2.11.24

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She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

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When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Comedian responds perfectly after Olympic breakdancer 'Raygun' shuts down her parody musical

The Olympic breakdancer threatened legal action but the comedian is getting the last laugh.

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Olympic breakdancer gets musical canceled, comedian responds

Do you remember that one time breakdancing was an Olympic sport? It was short lived so if you blinked during the 2024 Paris Olympics you might have missed it. But even if you didn't see the Olympics at all, there was no escaping seeing Rachael Gunn, an Australian breakdancer that goes by the name Raygun. The breakdancer went mega viral for her interesting choices during her dance battle on the world stage.

Clips from her big moment where she did the now infamous kangaroo hop and pushed herself in a circle on the floor circulated the internet. Not only did the Aussie accidentally become a meme but she was impersonated on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. The backlash was so overwhelming from people around the world that Gunn issued an apology to the breakdancing community in Australia.

While mocking someone's abilities is considered bad form, people still find the dance moves Gunn performed at the Olympics to be amusing. This has lead to other people impersonating the dancer and one of them is a fellow Aussie, comedian Steph Broadbridge. The woman wrote "Raygun: The Musical" and was set to perform the one woman show for $10 per ticket at a local Australian venue until the breakdancer caught wind of it.

Paris Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

It was then that Broadbridge found her comedic musical facing legal notice from Gunn barring her from performing her show. The letter came at an inopportune time as she was already in dress rehearsal having sold tickets to see the musical. Typically celebrities don't legally object to smaller artists poking fun at them in an impersonation, even if they're not happy about it. But Gunn may not see herself in a celebrity light which may help explain the unexpected reaction.

Broadbridge could've gotten upset or went on with the show forcing Raygun to sue, instead she decided to poke fun at the entire situation with a little dry humor. In a video on her Instagram page, Broadbridge announces the unfortunate news to her fans.

Olympics Breaking GIF by NoireSTEMinistGiphy

"I'm comedian Steph Broadbridge just hanging out in my casual day wear," the woman says as she's clearly wearing the same outfit the Olympic breakdancer wore during her dance battle. "My trail show tonight for 'Raygun: The Musical' has been canceled. Raygun's lawyers got in touch with the venue and threatened legal action so we will be refunding everyone their $10 back for that."

Obviously, Broadbridge was not putting on a full length high budget Broadway musical but that didn't stop the breakdancer from putting a halt to it. The comedian shares a surprising revelation in her announcement saying, "her lawyers trademarked my poster which is flattering, I hope they have fun with that. And they're also worried that I was damaging her brand, which I would never do. She doesn't need me to do that."


The entire video is done in deadpan which made it made the one liners pack a little more of a punch, especially when she reveals that she was told she wasn't permitted to hop like a kangaroo.

"They also said I wasn't allowed to do the dance because she owns the kangaroo dance, that one did puzzle me, I mean that's an Olympic level dance. How would I possibly be able to do that without any formal breakdance training," Broadbridge asks.

The comedian's fans were supportive of Broadbridge but were a bit miffed about Gunn putting a halt to the show with one writing, "I heard that the proceeds from the tickets sold for this were going to charity to help women and children facing homelessness. It makes it even worse that Raygun and her lawyers would still pursue this."


Another person encourages the comedian saying, "This will be amazing publicity. Just need to get it to all the news outlets."

Someone else chimes in, "Steph, this is Olympic level PR parody. How did you do this without any formal training?"

If you want to see the musical, don't worry. Broadbridge doesn't sound like she's giving up anytime soon. The Australian is planning to get around the complaint by changing the name of the main character to "Raigun" so there's no confusion. And while the letter from the breakdancers lawyers say Gunn owns the kangaroo dance, that may be something that is challenged by a court of kangaroos...a kangaroo court if you will–pun intended.

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Health

Here's why you're probably waking up right at 3 or 4 in the morning and how to make it stop

It happens to just about everyone.

via Polina Kovaleva/Pexels

A woman with her eye mask on in bed.

Do you often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. with an intense feeling of anxiety? Do you get stressed that you’re awake and begin making a mental laundry list of everything you need to do the next day? Do you start thinking about fights you once had with your spouse or ponder how you have let yourself down in the past?

If so, you’re not alone. It’s common for people to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. regularly and there’s a reason why we choose this time to catastrophize and worry. The good news is that there are some steps we can take to get through that awkward phase of the night so we can wake up refreshed.

Why do I wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. every night?

Many of us reliably wake up in the middle of the night because after we’ve had a good chunk of sleep, our bodies start to slowly prepare us for the day by reducing melatonin, the hormone that puts us to sleep and increasing levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.

That biological phase of sleep is why we start to feel stressed.

sleep, nightmares, cortisole A woman wakes up in the middle of the nightvia Oscar Calstrom/Pexels

After the big hormone release at 3 or 4 in the morning, if you are dealing with stress in your life, you are more likely to wake up. If your life is calmer and you don’t already have a stress baseline, you will probably wake up, fall asleep quickly and forget that it happened.

Why do I wake up feeling stressed in the middle of the night?

If you’re already experiencing stress in your life, that extra cortisol kick is going to cause you to wake up with a feeling of anxiety. The problem is that when we’re lying in bed in the middle of the night, we are in a vulnerable position. “Around this time in the sleep cycle, we’re at our lowest ebb physically and cognitively. From nature’s viewpoint, this is meant to be a time of physical and emotional recovery, so it’s understandable that our internal resources are low,” Greg Murray, a psychology researcher with expertise in mood, sleep, and the circadian system, writes in The Conversation.

“But we also lack other resources in the middle of the night – social connections, cultural assets, all the coping skills of an adult are unavailable at this time,” Murray continues. “With none of our human skills and capital, we are left alone in the dark with our thoughts. So the mind is partly right when it concludes the problems it’s generated are unsolvable – at 3 a.m., most problems literally would be.”


At this moment, when we’re stressed and feeling vulnerable, stuck in bed with no way out, we can begin to spiral. This is when we ruminate on why we forgot to feed the dog that one day in 1994 or contemplate why things went bad with your first significant other at 21. It’s when we start recalling a disagreement with a friend and plotting out what we’ll say the next time the issue arises.

At this point, if we don’t stop spiraling, we’ll be up until 5 a.m. and will feel like garbage when it’s time to go to work.

The good news is that there are ways to get back to sleep and stop the downward anxiety spiral.

Make a list

Dr. Jade Wu says that if you wake up and feel stressed about things you need to take care of, walk out of your room (so you don’t associate it with stressors) and make a list to read in the morning. This will free you of your worries, because you know you can care for them when you are awake.

Pay attention to your breath

Murray says you should redirect your attention from your thoughts to your breath, which is a form of meditation. “I bring my attention to my senses, specifically the sound of my breath. When I notice thoughts arising, I gently bring my attention back to the sound of breathing,” Murray writes in The Conversation. This works in 2 ways: first, it takes your attention away from your spiraling thoughts and second, the breathing exercise helps you relax.

Have a bite to eat

Sometimes, we wake up in the middle of the night because we’re hungry and our blood sugar is dropping. “The first question I ask [my patients] is, ‘When was the last time you ate?’” Michael Breus, Ph.D. psychologist specializing in sleep disorders, told Sleep.com. “Often, they’ve finished their last meal at 7 p.m.; now it’s 3 in the morning — that’s eight hours later — so guess what? They’re out of fuel.” If you’ve woken up because of a drop in blood sugar, experts recommend eating a small snack that includes protein and fat, like peanut butter.

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Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for beautiful heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Photos by Murat Rahim Caglak and Antoni Shkraba via Canva

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below.

This article originally appeared in April.

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Mom points out an unspoken, 'unfair' part of having kids who play travel ball

Families can spend thousands on travel sports leagues.

via Casey Kelley (used with permission) and Vince Fleming/Unsplash

Casey Kelley shares her thoughts on kids in travel sports.

Parents whose children participate in elite travel ball leagues can spend up to $12,000 annually on fees, equipment, hotel rooms and gas. One mother, Casey Kelley, from Alabama, has spoken out, saying that if parents spend all of that money and time, their children should get to play in games. Kelley's daughter plays on a club volleyball team.

The topic was inspired by a conversation she had with other volleyball parents who agreed that every kid should get a decent amount of playing time. “I’ll tell you what I think. I think, if you’re paying to be there, so it's not like high school sports, I think everyone should have the opportunity to play because this is a developmental league ... and they’re there to develop and to learn,” she explained in a TikTok video.

“Especially if these parents are paying thousands of dollars for them to be in the league and then traveling, spending money on hotels for their kid to sit there and maybe play a minute or two the whole weekend. I think it’s unfair,” she continued.

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What do you think? #travelball #clubsport #athlete #kids #mom #question

It's reasonable for Kelley to believe that spending a lot of money and traveling all over the map only to watch your kid play for a few minutes feels pointless. However, a lot of parents disagreed with her in the comments.

"You pay for practice. Playing time is earned," Nathan Sullins wrote.

"Absolutely not. If you want fair playing time you play rec ball. Travel ball playing time is performance based," another user wrote.

But these parents haven’t changed Kelley’s mind.

“I’m not opposed to kids earning their spot or the best kids playing more, but I feel that every kid who makes the team should at least have some playing time,” she told Upworthy. “I know it’s not a popular opinion, but it’s how I currently see it.”

Kelley further explained the story in a follow-up video.

@caseyjkelley

Clarification post and the last one on this topic #travelball #athlete #travelballparents #clubsport #parenting

What do you think?


This article originally appeared in March.

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Finally, we know how the parents from 'Home Alone' were able to afford that lavish house

Putting an age old internet debate to rest once and for all.

Credit: Wiki Fandom

No, it was not through organized crime.

It’s a question that’s plagued us since November 10th, 1990: how the heck did the parents from Home Alone afford their massive, luxurious house nestled in the picturesque suburbs of Chicago? (Not to mention a Christmas vacation to Paris for nine people) Seriously, what impressive job title could Kate and Peter McCallister possibly have to make all this happen? In a recession, no less.

There have been several memes dedicated to this headscratcher, along with a few theories—including one arguing that Peter McCallister must have been involved in organized crime—but finally, we now have a definitive answer.

i.pinimg.com

While appearing on a recent episode of The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast, prolific filmmaker Chris Columbus (who directed both Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York) revealed what Kevin’s parents did for a living.

“Back then, [screenwriter] John [Hughes] and I had a conversation about it, and we decided on what the jobs were,” Columbus shared.

Kate, everyone’s favorite neglectful mom, made iconic by Catherine O’Hara, “was a very successful fashion designer." In fact, we see clues to her profession in the film, when Kevin places mannequins in the windows to trick the Wet Bandits into thinking there was a holiday party afoot.

Filmmakers weaving hints into the story via set design, color scheme, costume choices, etc., otherwise known as “Easter eggs,” is a storytelling technique that’s been around since the art form began, essentially. But it’s a concept that’s taken on a life of its own with the introduction of social media. After all, there are entire Youtube channels dedicated to finding and breaking down these hidden clues mere days after a show or movie’s release—especially with comic books or fantasy series, which are franchises with a ton of lore to excavate.

Corporations that churn out these pop culture behemoths, like Disney, have undoubtedly caught on to this, and infuse Easter eggs into a lot of their movies, hoping to make bank off of the intrigue it incites. Does actual substance get sacrificed for this marketing ploy? Sure. But is it effective? Often, yes.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Point being: perhaps if Home Alone had premiered today, in the digital age, we might have never wondered so much about the McAllister’s jobs in the first place.

As for the late great John Heard’s Peter—Columbus’ memory is a little foggy. “The father could have, based on John Hughes’ own experience, worked in advertising, but I don’t remember what the father did,” he told THR. Still, we can definitely put one fan theory to rest, as Columbus said Peter’s income did NOT come from “organized crime, even though there was, at the time, a lot of organized crime in Chicago.”

While that settles one quandary involving this legendary house, since it was recently sold for around $5 million, we are left once again wondering who might possibly be able to afford living there…and if their place of employment is currently hiring.

via GIPHY

Again, living in the age of Google, it’s easy to find at-length breakdowns behind virtually every piece of modern day pop culture out there. Whether you’re hunting down origin stories to alternative endings to meanings behind obscure references, the answers are fairly easy to find. Which is what makes these little reveals about older pop culture mainstays so satisfying. Often they come after years of dedicated fans relentlessly asking questions.

Take for instance the ultra viral “mystery song” that played during an episode of The X-Files, which took a whopping 25 years to solve, and involved hunting down the original call sheet that listed every person who participated in said episode. That simply would not happen with a show today. Not likely, anyway.

Just saying, when thought is carefully put into it, a story becomes enduring. That’s the reason why we are still captivated by these shows even years after.

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