upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
Popular

People reveal the 'unwritten rules' of their households and they're delightful bizarre

"If you have a cat on your lap and want something from the kitchen someone else has to get it for you. Cat must not be disturbed."

cat sitting on someone's lap

Rule: The cat must not be disturbed.

In our house, we have a rule called "I Have a Cat." If one of our two cats is sitting in your lap, you are automatically exempt from having to do anything. Everyone else in the house has to serve you until the cat decides to vacate.

This rule isn't written anywhere, and we never actively decided it was a rule, it just became one because no one would dare to disturb Princess Nala when she's comfy and cuddly.

We're apparently not the only family with such a rule. Most families have unwritten household rules that others might see as strange when "enforced," which is why when someone on Reddit asked, "What’s an unwritten rule in your household that would seem bizarre to outsiders?" people delivered with some delightful, hilarious and sometimes even helpful examples.

Here are some of the best:

The 'loud noise' and 'I’m ok' rules

If you know you’re going to make a loud noise, say dropping a heavy bag down the stairs you had to yell 'loud noise' to warn everyone that the noise was coming and planned

If you made a loud noise unplanned you had to yell 'I’m OK' so no one came running or did come running I’d you were NOT ok. Side note this rule was created when grandpa dropped a toilet on his finger."

"Any loud noise coming from the shower/bathtub must quickly be followed by an audible 'oh sh_t'/'dammit'/'heck!' and change to the shower spray sound, proving movement.

Failure to acknowledge will result in a 'you good in there?' from the outside party."

Rules for getting out of doing dishes

"This is at my mom's place: If you are wearing long sleeve shirts you are exempt from doing the dishes."

"We just had a rule that once the dishwasher (one of us kids - the actual dishwasher was used as storage for go cups since mom was convinced they were shitty at cleaning dishes) was done with all the dishes that had been cleared from the table and shut the water off, any additional dishes were not their responsibility. This led to the designated dishwasher racing through doing the dishes and slower eaters racing to finish their food. “Haha sucker - the water’s off!” was commonly heard growing up."

"When we don’t feel like cleaning the kitchen entirely after dinner or we leave junk in the living room, whatever the case may be, we’re obligated to declare 'who closed last night!?' And then we blame it on the baby."

The empty paper towel roll goes to the doggo—appropriately announced

"When you use the last paper towel from the roll you have to take the cardboard tube and yell 'do-ta-do' in it and then give it to the dog when he comes running so he can shred it!"

"We call these cardboard bones and they also require some sort of announcement through it before giving it to the dog."

"Growing up we'd blow into it like trying to blow a trumpet because it made the dog go apeshit. Then you 'beat' the dog with it along her back which gets her more excited, then you give it to her for destruction."

dog being hand fedGotta pay the dog tax.Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels

Dog taxes must be paid

"If you get ice from the freezer for whatever reason, you must pay the ice tax to the dogs."

"We have to pay the ice tax AND cheese tax. Brutal."

"It's the peanut butter tax and the cheese tax in my house. My dog is so psyched for the cheese tax that she comes running from pretty much anywhere in the house if she hears something that sounds like crinkling plastic in the fridge."

"We have ice tax, cheese tax, popcorn tax, bell pepper tax. These pups are ruthless!"

Meow back, always

"If a cat meows at you, you meow back. It's impolite not to answer."

"I have full on conversations with my friends cat and you can tell by the tones he uses he is actually speaking to you lol it's hilarious and I never get tired of it. I usually just keep meowing back and forth until I can tell he's had enough chit chat 😆"

"This is the only way to get my cat to stop meowing at me. If I ignore him he'll keep going. If I get up to see what he wants, he just looks at me. If I meow back a few times, he comes into the room I'm in and chills with me."

If I have to come find it for you when I just told you exactly where it is…

"If you tell me you can’t find something after I’ve told you EXACTLY WHERE IT IS, and I walk over there and find it EXACTLY WHERE I TOLD YOU IT WAS, I get to hit you with it."

"This is also a rule in my house, which led to this exchange -

'Mom, I need help finding something!'

'Okay, but if I find it right away, I get to hit you with it!'

'NEVERMIND I'LL FIND THE SCISSORS MYSELF.'"

"I started charging my kids $5 finder's fee each time."


board game piecesWinner cleans up!Photo by Pixabay/Pexels


Game winner does the cleans up

"Winner of a board game is charged with putting said game away."

"My family did this too! It's a great way to minimize competition drama because the winner gets to gloat about winning while tidying up and the rest get to gloat about not having to tidy up."

"This is so much better than the tradition my siblings and I got into of actively making messes while singing 'Loser picks it up!'

We grew up into civilized people, but this rule would have set us on the path sooner."

"The real competition would be making it clear you COULD win, but instead forced the cleanup on someone else."

You complain or give unsolicited advice, the job's yours

"If someone is voluntarily doing a chore, no one shall tell them how to do it differently unless damage is going to be incurred. If unsolicited advice is given without the intent to actively roll up sleeves and help, the task then belongs to the giver of the unsolicited advice."

"If more people tried to adopt even a fraction of this mind set then so many households would be so much happier. Yes weaponized incompetence is a thing and messed up when people do it but many times it's just priorities and preferences are different. My spouse folds the towels differently than I do. In our case it doesn't impact anything. So why would I get on their case about something so benign and add stress for no reason."

cat sitting on someone's lapThe Cat Lap Rule is universal, it seems.Photo by Andrew Kota/Pexels

Sorry, can't. I have a cat.

"If you have a cat on your lap and want something from the kitchen someone else has to get it for you. Cat must not be disturbed."

"I'd add we had as many as 7 cats at a time growing up so often everyone had a cat on their lap so the youngest cat would be the one chosen to be moved. Senior cats had great privilege."

"We call this 'Cat Rule' and over the years it has sub rules. For example, one cannot invoke Cat Rule more than three times in one lap sitting 😂"

"We call it being 'cat-atonic.'"

"We call that 'the prime directive'-- a sleeping cat must not be disturbed."

"We call that, 'the sacred law' 😂 Our cat is only affectionate on her terms so if she’s cuddling us, it’s a very special moment."

"We call this feline paralysis, love seeing everyone else’s names for this rule!"

And these extras, just for funsies…

"Bandit, our aged Great Dane, gets the cushion on the far right of the orange couch. No exceptions, no asking him to move, that’s his spot."

"Sometimes, my cat will carry a ball toy into the room and meow loudly. As soon as she drops the ball, every human in the house must clap and go 'Yaaayy!!' It is law."

"If you are going to use the kitchen tongs you must perform an OSHA approved test click to ensure that they are functional."

"In our household, the unwritten rule is that you must perform a full interpretive dance routine to earn the right to use the TV remote. It keeps the peace and provides nightly entertainment."

"You have to choose the topic of your fortune cookie before you read it. "this is about my new job" many a big life decision has been made this way.

Inside spiders are named Franklin. Outside spiders are named Fronklin. They are all good boys."


boomer grandparents, boomer grandparent, millennial parents, millennial parent, grandkids
Image via Canva/PeopleImages

Boomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.

Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don't always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them "excessively gifting" their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her "Boomer grandparent" experience in a funny and relatable video. "Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of 'treasures' into her home," she wrote in the overlay.


Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady's is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

@nps.in.a.pod

Today's "treasure" highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery... #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

Grady captioned the video, "Today's 'treasure' highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery..."

The humorous video resonated with with fellow Millennial parents. "Straight to the trash when they leave," one viewer commented. Another added, "I always say 'if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours' 😂."

Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. "Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don't want to be ungrateful but we just don't need it and don't have the space. I have brought this up politely in 'we are all out of drawers for that' but it hasn't slowed things down," one explained. "I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don't get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead."

Another Millennial parent shared, "While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume - as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm

How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? "Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren," Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. "These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get."

Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the "why" behind the gifting. "What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much," she explains. "Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. "Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren," she suggests.

She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. "Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents," says Goodman. "Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites."

boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be is the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. "Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over—a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks," she says. "Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like."

This article originally appeared last September

Pop Culture

In 1969, the Monkees appeared on The Johnny Cash Show and played a stunning, original country song

"Nine Times Blue" is a jaw dropping intersection of craftsmanship and pure talent.

the monkees, nume times blue, monkees live, monkees country, johnny cash show

The Monkees perform on "The Johnny Cash Show."

The great debate about The Monkees is whether they were a real band or just a group of actors thrown together for a TV show. The answer is yes. They were actors cast to play an American version of The Beatles, and many of their early songs were written by big-time professional songwriters such as Tommy Boyce, Bobby Hart, Neil Diamond, Carole King, and Gerry Goffin.

However, The Monkees would pick up their own instruments, play on the 1967 Headquarters album, and perform as a live band on sold-out tours. After a resurgence in the '80s, the band enjoyed a lucrative career as a legacy act, with various members continuing to perform as The Monkees until Michael Nesmith died in 2021. Nesmith, originally a country singer from Dallas, Texas, wrote several of The Monkees' hits, including "Mary, Mary," "Papa Gene's Blues," "The Girl I Knew Somewhere," and "Listen to the Band," and was a driving force in the group being taken seriously as musicians.




By the summer of 1969, The Monkees' TV series was off the air, and the affable Peter Tork had exited the group, citing exhaustion. The remaining three soldiered on, performing on The Johnny Cash Show to promote their latest album, Instant Replay. The band chose to perform "Nine Times Blue," a country song written by Nesmith that he had demoed at the time but wouldn't be released until he recorded it as a solo artist in 1970.

The performance is a wonderful reminder that The Monkees were great comedic actors and accomplished musicians. Davy Jones and Micky Dolenz do a fantastic job singing harmonies on the chorus, while Nesmith plays some nice fills on his Gibson acoustic.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Later in the show, The Monkees joined Cash for a performance of his 1966 novelty song, "Everybody Loves a Nut," which perfectly suited the band's comedic sensibilities. Two weeks after the release, Cash scored one of his biggest hits with "A Boy Named Sue," recorded live at San Quentin prison.

A few months later, Nesmith left The Monkees to pursue a country-rock career, first with the seminal group The First National Band, which scored a Top 40 hit with "Joanne" from the album Magnetic South.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Although Nesmith's country-rock albums of the '70s were moderately successful, he was still overshadowed, as a musician, by The Monkees' towering success and subsequent downfall. In the '70s, it wasn't easy for Nesmith to get the respect he was due as a country artist. But in the years leading up to his death in 2021, Nesmith's work was reappraised, and he was seen as a brilliant songwriter who anticipated the rise of alt-country.

The Monkees hold a complicated place in rock 'n' roll history. While some see them as a prefabricated band assembled to cash in on The Beatles' success, others recognize them as talented musicians brought together under bizarre circumstances who forged their own path and created something fresh and innovative, only earning proper respect years later.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era
Photo by Dorothea Lange via Library of Congress
The woman from the famous Great Depression photo didn't know about her fame for 40 years.

It's one of the most iconic and haunting photos of all time, up there with the likes of Hindenburg, The Falling Soldier, Burning Monk, Napalm Girl, and many others. It's called simply Migrant Mother, and it paints a better picture of the time in which it was taken than any book or interview possibly could.

Nearly everyone across the globe knows Florence Owens Thompson's face from newspapers, magazines, and history books. The young, destitute mother was the face of The Great Depression, her worried, suntanned face looking absolutely defeated as several of her children took comfort by resting on her thin frame. Thompson put a human face and emotion behind the very real struggle of the era, but she wasn't even aware of her role in helping to bring awareness to the effects of the Great Depression on families.


It turns out that Dorothea Lange, the photographer responsible for capturing the worry-stricken mother in the now-famous photo, told Thompson that the photos wouldn't be published.

Of course, they subsequently were published in the San Francisco News. At the time the photo was taken, Thompson was supposedly only taking respite at the migrant campsite with her seven children after the family car broke down near the campsite. The photo was taken in March 1936 in Nipomo, California when Lange was concluding a month's long photography excursion documenting migrant farm labor.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era Worried mother and children during the Great Depression era. Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

"Migrant worker" was a term that meant something quite different than it does today. It was primarily used in the 30s to describe poverty-stricken Americans who moved from town to town harvesting the crops for farmers.

The pay was abysmal and not enough to sustain a family, but harvesting was what Thompson knew as she was born and raised in "Indian Territory," (now Oklahoma) on a farm. Her father was Choctaw and her mother was white. After the death of her husband, Thompson supported her children the best way she knew how: working long hours in the field.

"I'd hit that cotton field before daylight and stay out there until it got so dark I couldn't see," Thompson told NBC in 1979 a few years before her death.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era A mother reflects with her children during the Great Depression. Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

When talking about meeting Thompson, Lange wrote in her article titled "The Assignment I'll Never Forget: Migrant Mother," which appeared in Popular Photography, Feb. 1960, "I saw and approached the hungry and desperate mother, as if drawn by a magnet. I do not remember how I explained my presence or my camera to her, but I do remember she asked me no questions. I made five exposures, working closer and closer from the same direction. I did not ask her name or her history. She told me her age, that she was thirty-two. She said that they had been living on frozen vegetables from the surrounding fields, and birds that the children killed."

Lange goes on to surmise that Thompson cooperated because on some level she knew the photos would help, though from Thompson's account she had no idea the photos would make it to print. Without her knowledge, Thompson became known as "The Dustbowl Mona Lisa," which didn't translate into money in the poor family's pocket.

In fact, according to a history buff who goes by @baewatch86 on TikTok, Thompson didn't find out she was famous until 40 years later after a journalist tracked her down in 1978 to ask how she felt about being a famous face of the depression.

@baewatch86

Florence Thompson, American Motherhood. #fyppppppppppppppppppppppp #historytok #americanhistory #migrantmother #thegreatdepression #dorthealange #womenshistory

It turns out Thompson wished her photo had never been taken since she never received any funds for her likeness being used. Baewatch explains, "because Dorothea Lange's work was funded by the federal government this photo was considered public domain and therefore Mrs. Florence and her family are not entitled to the royalties."

While the photo didn't provide direct financial compensation for Thompson, the "virality" of it helped to feed migrant farm workers. "When these photos were published, it immediately caught people's attention. The federal government sent food and other resources to those migrant camps to help the people that were there that were starving, they needed resources and this is the catalyst. This photo was the catalyst to the government intercepting and providing aid to people," Baewatch shares.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

As for Lange, Migrant Mother was not her only influential photograph of the Great Depression. She captured many moving images of farmers who had been devastated by the Dust Bowl and were forced into a migrant lifestyle.

"Broke, baby sick, and car trouble!" is just one of her many incredible photos from the same year, 1937.

She also did tremendous work covering Japanese internment in the 1940s, and was eventually inducted into the International Photography Hall of Fame and Museum and the National Women's Hall of Fame.

the great depression; Florence Thompson; Mona Lisa of the Great Depression; Mona Lisa; the depression; depression era Families on the move suffered enormous hardships during The Great Depression.Photo by Dorthea Lange via Library of Congress

Thompson did find some semblance of financial comfort later in life when she married a man named George Thompson, who would be her third husband. In total, she had 10 children. When Thompson's health declined with age, people rallied around to help pay her medical bills citing the importance of the 1936 photo in their own lives. The "Migrant Mother" passed away in 1983, just over a week after her 80th birthday. She was buried in California.

"Florence Leona Thompson, Migrant Mother. A legend of the strength of American motherhood," her gravestone reads.

lifetime supply, prizes, surprises, funny stories, weird stories
Photo credit: Canva, Hasloo Group Production Studio (main image, cropped) / SkaHero42 from pixabay (text box)

People who've won "lifetime supplies" of products share what actually happened.

If you’ve ever seen a promotion or contest promising a "lifetime supply" of a product, you’ve probably been left with a few questions. How do they dole out this stuff? How much do you get at one time? And what happens if the company is sold? The specifics probably vary based on the fine print.

But one way to find out is to ask people who’ve actually won these massive prizes, as someone recently did online. The responses filled in some of the blanks, touching on how these products were delivered (in one case, by constructing an energy-drink "throne"), the hoops some folks were forced to jump through ("Lifetime ended up meaning one case every quarter, but only if I personally picked it up from whatever warehouse they were using that month"), and how much they actually enjoyed having an excess of one thing ("it feels less like a prize and more like the burritos are hunting me").


gif, kids, kenan and kel, money, one million, kenan and kel nicksplat GIF Giphy

One Redditor even found their freebies influencing a marriage proposal in a now-deleted post:

"The Charlie Bucket of donuts checking in here," they wrote. "I was lucky enough to find the Golden Donut, which landed me a lifetime supply of donuts from Stan’s Donuts. Stan’s had this contest where the first 100 people in line for a store grand opening got to open a box that contained a donut, one of which contained a golden donut which entitled that lucky winner (me) to a lifetime supply of donuts. I received a gift card loaded with about $600 in store credit that gets reloaded each year, so I can get a donut a day or spend it all at once and have a donut blowout extravaganza. Stan’s is great, not just the donuts but the people who work there as well. Shortly after winning I met a girl and ended up getting engaged. Stan’s helped me 'rig' a box for their next golden donut contest so that when my (now wife) opened her box it had a ring and a note that said 'You’ve won a lifetime supply of love and support.' Needless to say, she was disappointed it wasn’t the golden donut, but she said yes and settled for a golden ring (and my golden donut privileges)."

"They made me sign a clipboard like I was collecting evidence"

Lots of other responses were also food-related, but none of them were quite this sweet—and for some prize winners, the free stuff wound up feeling like a burden.

"I won a lifetime supply of frozen burritos from a regional grocery chain after my college roommate signed us up as a joke. Lifetime ended up meaning one case every quarter, but only if I personally picked it up from whatever warehouse they were using that month. One time it was two hours away and they made me sign a clipboard like I was collecting evidence. After a few years the brand got bought out, the burritos got worse, and the emails slowly turned into generic coupons. I still get a random case once in a while, but it feels less like a prize and more like the burritos are hunting me."

"When I was in college someone in my fraternity won a 'lifetime supply' of a new flavor of…energy drink. It was some weird coconut flavor and was f-—ing awful. A freight truck dropped off 365 cases that had 8 or 12 cans per case. The delivery people actually made a throne out of it to sit in and it took up almost the whole living room. However, like I already mentioned, it was absolute disgusting. Not a single person who tried it liked the taste so we had a hard time giving it all away. [I’m] pretty sure the contest was secretly a way to offload this horrible, failed flavor lol"

"My… idk, aunt in laws mom? Wife’s uncles wife’s mom, whatever you call that, won a lifetime supply of rice a roni. They gave it to her all at once and it filled every crevice of their house. They gave most of it away to neighbors and food shelters."

gif, the simpsons, lifetime supply, beer, funny season 6 GIF Giphy

"I lost interest after a few months"

Here are some of the other top comments, from no-strings-attached free queso to WD-40 with a curious definition of "lifetime."

"My parents won free queso for life at their favorite local Mexican restaurant. They got a cheese-wedge shaped squishy toy with the restaurant name and something like free queso printed on it. They can get one free order of queso per visit if they show their server the little cheese thing. They go once a week."

"I won free beer for life from a local brew pub. When I'm in the pub, all of my beers are free, but I can't take beer to go or anything. I've got a personal card that I show. I go about once a month. I'm tempted to go more, but also am aware of the health detriments of going more often."

"My parents Won a lifetime supply of diapers from pampers for me winning a baby race (yes its a real thing they just raced babies) i got 1st place but turned out the diapers were just for a year or 2 until i basically grew out them and it was a set amount like a crate still saved our poor family ton i bet."

"Won a lifetime supply of beer from my local liquor store. In reality, it meant that once a month I could go to the store and do one of those "build your own 6 pack" with the loose cans. It was cool at the time but I lost interest after a few months since I wasn't a huge drinker to begin with. I've moved, but I'm pretty sure the liquor store has since closed."

"I won a lifetime of small french fries from McDonalds. Limited 1 per visit. They gave me a little key ring tag to show the cashier each visit. The catch was, it was only valid at that single McD's location. Eventually I moved to another state, so I gave the key ring to a friend who still lived in the area."

"Grandfather won a lifetime supply of WD-40 once. It was four cans. My sister also won a lifetime supply of…ice cream bars. It was like two pallets all delivered at once. It was wild trying to give that away. No way did we have the freezer space or ability to eat this. Threw a bunch away."

So do companies have legal wiggle room on how they define "lifetime"? According to law firm Venable LLP, it really does come back to the disclaimer, explaining "how much it is, its retail value, when and how it will be delivered to the winner, and whether the winner must meet any requirements to receive the prize." They add that companies must adhere to the Federal Trade Commission’s "reasonable test," which, the law firm says, "requires a reasonable person to agree that the amount awarded would last an average individual for the time period stated." That leaves us with a crucial question: How many French fries is reasonable?

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Victorian Era; Romantic Period; pale portraits; beauty standards; unrealistic beauty standards; arsenic poisoning

Historians explain why everyone was so pale in Victorian portraits.

When people think of portraits from the Victorian era, the images that come to mind are usually women in tight corsets with extremely pale skin. Children were also very pale and often appeared to have dark circles under their eyes. But why? It's not because they had better sunscreen in the 1800s.

The reason many people who posed for those portraits were as white as bleached cotton sheets is multifaceted. Portraits from the Victorian era generally depict wealthy people, which is likely the reason for the over-the-top dresses and hairstyles. Sitting for a formal portrait was an expensive luxury that poor people couldn't afford. If they had been able to, we'd probably see a lot more color in the faces being captured.


In the 1800s, especially during the European Victorian era, paleness indicated status. The paler you were, the more money you were assumed to have, signaling higher social status. It was believed that tan skin meant you did some form of outdoor manual labor, something associated with poorer people. Paintings from that era often show women enjoying the outdoors in multilayered dresses, carrying parasols to shield their fair skin from the sun. This belief that paleness displayed high status became a dangerous obsession, according to historians.

Victorian Era; Romantic Period; pale portraits; beauty standards; unrealistic beauty standards; arsenic poisoning Vintage portraits of a woman and two children, showcasing elegant attire of their era.Photo credit: Canva

The Johnston Collection explains that the Romantic period marked a shift toward paleness and extreme thinness as the ultimate signs of wealth and beauty, writing, "many of the beauty icons of the day were depicted as skeletal thin with ghostly pale skin, glistening eyes, flushed cheeks and perpetually red lips." Those chasing this impossible beauty standard quickly noticed that contracting tuberculosis produced many of these highly sought-after features as the disease progressed.

"If a lady wasn't fortunate enough to suffer from such a glamorous illness, she could feign going into a decline – the desirable fragile look being simulated by drinking vinegar and dropping belladonna into the eyes," The Johnston Collection notes.

Belladonna is poisonous, but women of the era appeared unafraid to risk death for the privilege of being seen as beautiful. As the Romantic period faded, appearing sickly did not fall out of fashion. The Victorian era simply tied paleness to morality and social status, leading women to continue risking their lives to avoid being perceived as poor. Instead of trying to contract tuberculosis, women began ingesting arsenic, chalk, and even ground-up rocks to maintain a fair complexion.

Victorian Era; Romantic Period; pale portraits; beauty standards; unrealistic beauty standards; arsenic poisoning Three friends enjoy a lively music session indoors.Photo credit: Canva

History Facts shares:

"In 1851, a Swiss physician published a report in a medical journal about the 'toxicophagi,' a group of people in modern-day Austria who routinely consumed arsenic; they knew it was poison, but thought they could develop an immunity to it by starting with small doses and gradually increasing the intake. The report's author claimed that arsenic gave them great energy, sparkling eyes, and wonderful complexions, but noted that after long-term use, unsurprisingly, 'most arsenic eaters end with an inevitable infirmity of the body.'"

While there was some knowledge that consuming arsenic could be dangerous, it was still viewed as benign when used in other products. The chemical was used to create the color green in clothing, wallpaper, and other products. This led children to take on the same sickly look and eventually contributed to their deaths. Unintentionally, entire families were poisoned by their beautiful green wallpaper, dresses, baby blankets, and other household items.

It took one family losing multiple children to what doctors believed was diphtheria before a leading physician and a chemist teamed up to uncover why the children kept dying. After noticing the green wallpaper in the home, the doctor asked to perform an autopsy on the child who had recently died. The results of the tests changed how society treated the dangerous chemical.

If you ever find yourself gazing up at a portrait of a ghostly pale Victorian child or a wealthy Victorian woman, you'll know that arsenic is likely the reason. Ingesting deadly chemicals to keep up appearances is a practice that should probably stay lost to history.