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People reveal the 'unwritten rules' of their households and they're delightful bizarre

"If you have a cat on your lap and want something from the kitchen someone else has to get it for you. Cat must not be disturbed."

cat sitting on someone's lap

Rule: The cat must not be disturbed.

In our house, we have a rule called "I Have a Cat." If one of our two cats is sitting in your lap, you are automatically exempt from having to do anything. Everyone else in the house has to serve you until the cat decides to vacate.

This rule isn't written anywhere, and we never actively decided it was a rule, it just became one because no one would dare to disturb Princess Nala when she's comfy and cuddly.

We're apparently not the only family with such a rule. Most families have unwritten household rules that others might see as strange when "enforced," which is why when someone on Reddit asked, "What’s an unwritten rule in your household that would seem bizarre to outsiders?" people delivered with some delightful, hilarious and sometimes even helpful examples.

Here are some of the best:

The 'loud noise' and 'I’m ok' rules

If you know you’re going to make a loud noise, say dropping a heavy bag down the stairs you had to yell 'loud noise' to warn everyone that the noise was coming and planned

If you made a loud noise unplanned you had to yell 'I’m OK' so no one came running or did come running I’d you were NOT ok. Side note this rule was created when grandpa dropped a toilet on his finger."

"Any loud noise coming from the shower/bathtub must quickly be followed by an audible 'oh sh_t'/'dammit'/'heck!' and change to the shower spray sound, proving movement.

Failure to acknowledge will result in a 'you good in there?' from the outside party."

Rules for getting out of doing dishes

"This is at my mom's place: If you are wearing long sleeve shirts you are exempt from doing the dishes."

"We just had a rule that once the dishwasher (one of us kids - the actual dishwasher was used as storage for go cups since mom was convinced they were shitty at cleaning dishes) was done with all the dishes that had been cleared from the table and shut the water off, any additional dishes were not their responsibility. This led to the designated dishwasher racing through doing the dishes and slower eaters racing to finish their food. “Haha sucker - the water’s off!” was commonly heard growing up."

"When we don’t feel like cleaning the kitchen entirely after dinner or we leave junk in the living room, whatever the case may be, we’re obligated to declare 'who closed last night!?' And then we blame it on the baby."

The empty paper towel roll goes to the doggo—appropriately announced

"When you use the last paper towel from the roll you have to take the cardboard tube and yell 'do-ta-do' in it and then give it to the dog when he comes running so he can shred it!"

"We call these cardboard bones and they also require some sort of announcement through it before giving it to the dog."

"Growing up we'd blow into it like trying to blow a trumpet because it made the dog go apeshit. Then you 'beat' the dog with it along her back which gets her more excited, then you give it to her for destruction."

dog being hand fedGotta pay the dog tax.Photo by Karolina Kaboompics/Pexels

Dog taxes must be paid

"If you get ice from the freezer for whatever reason, you must pay the ice tax to the dogs."

"We have to pay the ice tax AND cheese tax. Brutal."

"It's the peanut butter tax and the cheese tax in my house. My dog is so psyched for the cheese tax that she comes running from pretty much anywhere in the house if she hears something that sounds like crinkling plastic in the fridge."

"We have ice tax, cheese tax, popcorn tax, bell pepper tax. These pups are ruthless!"

Meow back, always

"If a cat meows at you, you meow back. It's impolite not to answer."

"I have full on conversations with my friends cat and you can tell by the tones he uses he is actually speaking to you lol it's hilarious and I never get tired of it. I usually just keep meowing back and forth until I can tell he's had enough chit chat 😆"

"This is the only way to get my cat to stop meowing at me. If I ignore him he'll keep going. If I get up to see what he wants, he just looks at me. If I meow back a few times, he comes into the room I'm in and chills with me."

If I have to come find it for you when I just told you exactly where it is…

"If you tell me you can’t find something after I’ve told you EXACTLY WHERE IT IS, and I walk over there and find it EXACTLY WHERE I TOLD YOU IT WAS, I get to hit you with it."

"This is also a rule in my house, which led to this exchange -

'Mom, I need help finding something!'

'Okay, but if I find it right away, I get to hit you with it!'

'NEVERMIND I'LL FIND THE SCISSORS MYSELF.'"

"I started charging my kids $5 finder's fee each time."


board game piecesWinner cleans up!Photo by Pixabay/Pexels


Game winner does the cleans up

"Winner of a board game is charged with putting said game away."

"My family did this too! It's a great way to minimize competition drama because the winner gets to gloat about winning while tidying up and the rest get to gloat about not having to tidy up."

"This is so much better than the tradition my siblings and I got into of actively making messes while singing 'Loser picks it up!'

We grew up into civilized people, but this rule would have set us on the path sooner."

"The real competition would be making it clear you COULD win, but instead forced the cleanup on someone else."

You complain or give unsolicited advice, the job's yours

"If someone is voluntarily doing a chore, no one shall tell them how to do it differently unless damage is going to be incurred. If unsolicited advice is given without the intent to actively roll up sleeves and help, the task then belongs to the giver of the unsolicited advice."

"If more people tried to adopt even a fraction of this mind set then so many households would be so much happier. Yes weaponized incompetence is a thing and messed up when people do it but many times it's just priorities and preferences are different. My spouse folds the towels differently than I do. In our case it doesn't impact anything. So why would I get on their case about something so benign and add stress for no reason."

cat sitting on someone's lapThe Cat Lap Rule is universal, it seems.Photo by Andrew Kota/Pexels

Sorry, can't. I have a cat.

"If you have a cat on your lap and want something from the kitchen someone else has to get it for you. Cat must not be disturbed."

"I'd add we had as many as 7 cats at a time growing up so often everyone had a cat on their lap so the youngest cat would be the one chosen to be moved. Senior cats had great privilege."

"We call this 'Cat Rule' and over the years it has sub rules. For example, one cannot invoke Cat Rule more than three times in one lap sitting 😂"

"We call it being 'cat-atonic.'"

"We call that 'the prime directive'-- a sleeping cat must not be disturbed."

"We call that, 'the sacred law' 😂 Our cat is only affectionate on her terms so if she’s cuddling us, it’s a very special moment."

"We call this feline paralysis, love seeing everyone else’s names for this rule!"

And these extras, just for funsies…

"Bandit, our aged Great Dane, gets the cushion on the far right of the orange couch. No exceptions, no asking him to move, that’s his spot."

"Sometimes, my cat will carry a ball toy into the room and meow loudly. As soon as she drops the ball, every human in the house must clap and go 'Yaaayy!!' It is law."

"If you are going to use the kitchen tongs you must perform an OSHA approved test click to ensure that they are functional."

"In our household, the unwritten rule is that you must perform a full interpretive dance routine to earn the right to use the TV remote. It keeps the peace and provides nightly entertainment."

"You have to choose the topic of your fortune cookie before you read it. "this is about my new job" many a big life decision has been made this way.

Inside spiders are named Franklin. Outside spiders are named Fronklin. They are all good boys."


dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome
Umi4ika/Youtube

Svetlana Putintseva with her daughter Masha.

In 2005 at only 18 years old, Russian rhythmic gymnast Svetlana Putintseva became a world champion, after which she retired and eventually became a mom. Then, in 2011, Putintseva came out of retirement for one special Gala performance.

Little did anyone know that her then two-year-old daughter named Masha would be the key to making that performance so special.


As the story goes, the young child refused to leave her side that night. But rather than stopping the performance, Putintseva did what so many incredible moms do: she masterfully held space for two different identities.

As we see in the video below, Putintseva simply brought Masha onto the dance floor and incorporated her into the routine—holding and comforting her at times, performing impressive moves while she ran around at others…letting it all become a lively, endearing interaction rather than a rote routine. It became something really touching:

Watch:

Now, a bit of fact-checking as this video has once again started going viral. Despite what many captions say, Putintseva‘s daughter was likely always a planned part of the performance (the tiny leotard is a bit of a giveaway). But that doesn’t really take away from the message behind it: motherhood weaves another soul into one's identity, forever. And one of the biggest lessons it teaches is how to hold someone else steady, all while becoming ourselves.

Every day, moms are engaging in a similar type of “dance”: navigating through the world while guiding and nurturing their little ones. It probably doesn't always feel quite as graceful as what Putintseva put out, and, yet, it is just as beautiful.

dance, motherhood, mommy daughter dance, mother daughter relationship, parenting, wholesome A mother hugging her daughter.Photo credit: Canva

Maybe so many thought it was an improvised moment because improvising is a very real parent superpower. That’s certainly the takeaway we get from some of these lovely comments:

“You cannot control life but you can learn to dance with it. 🤍”

"This is beyond beautiful. 🥲"

“If this isn't a metaphor for motherhood. We improvise so much.”

“A mother’s unconditional love 🥹❤️ She just made my whole month.”

“I do this sometimes while deejaying. My daughter comes up so I hit the slicer and let her chop it up. A few chops and she is happy and goes about her business. 🥰”

“I can see my daughter doing this to me soon whenever I get up on stage on perform. She already stares long and hard at me whenever I am onnstage singing. She doesn't take her eyes off me. Sure she would be running up to stand with me when she starts walking 😂😂 i look forward to it tho”

“Sobbing 😭😭😭😭 As a dancer who hasn’t performed since having a kid, this inspires me in so many ways 🥹🥹 So beautiful and it’s clear that she admires her mom so much 🥰”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Though not much is written on Putintseva following this performance, one blog post says that Masha has followed in her footsteps by getting into rhythmic gymnastics. Maybe it all started with this one performance. ❤️

hugh grant, hugh grant movies, renee zellweger, renee zellweger movies, bridget jones, bridget jones's diary
Images of Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger via Wikicommons

Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger were co-stars in the hit movie "Bridget Jones's Diary".

Hugh Grant and Renée Zellweger have made movie magic with their roles in the Bridget Jones film series. The two first co-starred in the original Bridget Jones's Diary back in 2001. Since then, there have been three additional Bridget Jones movies: Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004), Bridget Jones's Baby (2016), and Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy (2025)—although Grant did not appear in 2016's Bridget Jones's Baby.

The result has been a long-standing friendship between the actors off-screen, with Grant developing a soft spot for Zellweger. During an appearance on The Graham Norton Show in 2016, Hugh agreed with his original assessment that she's "delightful. Also far from sane. Very good kisser."


When pressed, Hugh jokingly said, "She is genuinely lovely, but her emails are 48 pages long. Can't understand a word of them."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Now, ten years later, Renée is returning to her Bridget Jones character, and the two reunite for a piece called "Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy" for British Vogue. Apparently in their OG Bridget Jones days, had tons of questions between on-set shots for Renée. Examples include: "If you had to marry one of today's extras, who would it be?" and "Who is a better kisser, me or Colin Firth?"

This time, there was a new slew of questions for each actor. Here are a few key things we find out:

What did Hugh always think of Renée?

He says candidly (of course), "With a lot of other actors, you think they're really great, and then suddenly you see a little glint of steely, scary ambition, and you realize this person would trample their grandmother to get what they want in this business. But I've never seen that glint coming off you. So either it's very well disguised, or you are quite nice."

What does Renée really think of Hugh?

"You're hilariously brilliant at everything you hate. And, though you hate humans, you're a very good and loyal friend. I like you very much. And I love working with you."

And during a February 2025 interview on TODAY while promoting Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, Jones shared about Grant, "He's mastered cute-grouchy for sure...I mean, 25 years of coming together and catching up through this experience, I've come to know him in a really lovely way... I just adore him."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What did Hugh really think of her English accent?

After discussing Renée's dialect coach, Hugh tells her that her attempt at an English accent is…"perfect."

Why does the Bridget Jones franchise remain so appealing?

Hugh says, "In a nutshell, I say it's an antidote to Instagram. Instagram is telling people, especially women, 'Your life's not good enough.' It's not as good as this woman's or that woman's, making you insecure. Whereas what Helen (the writer) did with Bridget is celebrate failures, while making it funny and joyful."

Renée makes some jokes and then says, "I think maybe folks recognize themselves in her and relate to her feelings of self-doubt. Bridget is authentically herself and doesn't always get it right, but whatever her imperfections, she remains joyful and optimistic, carries on, and triumphs in her own way."

@thisisheart

Renee Zellweger on what goes down in her email thread with Hugh Grant! #bridgetjones #reneezellweger #hughgrant #Fyp #foryou #celeb #movies

What does Hugh think of Renée's fashion?

After asking if people in general should be a "bit more stylish," Hugh tells Renée she's "very chic." Renée pushes back with, "I'm wearing a tracksuit." To which Hugh retorts, "Yeah, but a sort of PRICEY one."

And finally, those emails:

"You have sent me the longest emails I've ever received. I can't understand a single word of them. They're written in some curious language that I can't really understand."

"No!" Renée exclaims. "If you reference something in your emails that makes me laugh…I will circle back to that. And if you've forgotten that you wrote it, I don't think I should be held accountable for that!"

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

Science

Her groundbreaking theory on the origin of life was rejected 15 times. Then biology proved her right.

Lynn Margulis had the audacity to challenge Darwin. And we're lucky she did.

lynn margulis, lynn margulis symbiosis, biology, scientific breakthroughs, darwin, darwinism, women in science
Facts That Will Blow Your Mind/Facebook

A photo of Lynn Margulis.

Throughout her prolific and distinguished career, biologist Lynn Margulis made several groundbreaking contributions to science that we take for granted as common knowledge today. For example, she championed James E. Lovelock’s “Gaia concept,” which posited that the Earth self-regulates to maintain conditions for life.

But by far, her most notable theory was symbiogenesis. While it was first written off as “strange” and “aesthetically pleasing” but “not compelling,” it would ultimately prevail, and completely rewrite how we viewed the origin of life itself.


In the late 1960s, Margulis wrote a paper titled "On the Origin of Mitosing Cells," that was quite avant-garde. In it, she proposed a theory: that life evolved through organisms merging together to become inseparable.

In essence, cooperation is the driver of life, not competition and domination. This directly went against Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” principle that was considered gospel in scientific circles. Margulis’ paper was rejected by fifteen journals before getting accepted into the Journal of Theoretical Biology.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Time would be on Margulis’ side, however. By the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, research proved that the two major building blocks of plants and animals, chloroplasts and mitochondria were at one time independent bacteria. This solidified the fact that on a biological level, connection trumps autonomy for longevity. And now that fact is written in textbooks, with no real story of the adversity it overcame to get there.

While it is customary for most new scientific theories to be met with criticism, especially those that completely shift the current narrative, many have noted that sexism played a key part in Margulis’ initial lack of acceptance. On more than one occasion, she herself had hinted that women were seen as mothers and wives first, and scientists second. She recalled that while married to fellow scientist Carl Sagan that “Carl would finish his sentence, unperturbed” while she was expected to “handle all the duties of a 1950s housewife, from washing dishes to paying the household bills.”

And yet, Margulis would have other ideas that were controversial that had nothing to do with her gender. Most famously, she did not believe that AIDS was caused by HIV, and instead believed it was cause by a syphilis-causing type of bacteria, despite there already being decades of research proving otherwise. That view was seen as an endorsement of AIDS denialism, which undermined prevention and treatment effort. Then later in life, Margulis became a vocal proponent of 9/11 conspiracy theories suggesting government involvement the in Twin Towers attacks.

And yet, perhaps this is one of those “you gotta take the good with the bad” situations. Margulis’ inherent contrarian nature gave us both these unfounded, even harmful stances, in addition to entirely new paradigms that altered our understanding of life itself.

And if nothing else, it illuminated the need for science to include multiple points of view in order to unlock the truth. It seems life is, after all, about coming together.

Community

15 books real people say completely changed the way they see the world

Reading the right book at the right time can change everything.

books, reading, novels, classics, inspiration, motivation, self-help, literature
Self-help books, philosophical novels, and children's classics abound.

A lot of books claim to be life-changing, profound, or inspirational. In reality, many of them go in one ear and out the other. They may be enjoyable, or teach you a few new ideas, but ultimately they're forgotten quickly in the midst of our fast-moving lives. But sometimes, you come across the right book at the exact right time in your life, and the result is something completely unforgettable.

One Reddit user recently had such an experience. On the Subreddit “r/productivity” they wrote: “A few months ago, I stumbled upon a book (I won’t name it here to avoid biasing responses), and it triggered something I can’t fully explain. It didn’t just change how I think—it changed what I notice, how I react, and how I show up in life. Since then, I’ve made it a habit to collect these transformation stories—not summaries, not reviews—but real-life shifts triggered by reading a book. It’s incredible how the right book, read at the right moment, acts like a psychological lever.”


Then, they posed the following question: “I’m asking this out of pure curiosity (and maybe low-key research): Have you ever read a book that changed your internal wiring in any way—your mindset, habits, or how you see the world? … Sometimes, the best books aren’t bestsellers—they’re just the right words hitting us at the right time.”

The comments were flooded with wonderful, life-changing book recommendations, from nonfiction epics about breaking through creative barriers to children’s books that remain on their mind. We’ve collected 14 of the most intriguing, below:

books, reading, novels, classics, inspiration, motivation, self-help, literature These books, people say, stuck with them forever. Photo by Matias North on Unsplash


1. The War of Art by Steven Pressfield (2002)

One user describes the book: “It’s not super long, and it’s written in this really straightforward, almost no-nonsense way. But it hit hard. The whole idea is about Resistance, that sneaky little force that stops us from doing the stuff we actually care about. It made me realize how often I make excuses without even knowing it. And Pressfield’s take is simple but powerful, just show up, do the work and don’t wait for some magical moment.”

Others were quick to follow, with one person commenting, “The War of Art is the only book I have ever read more than once. Well worth the read” and another said, “Do The Work is a solid follow up to it. It’s short and to the point. Can easily listen to the audiobook in one sitting when you need a boost to GSD (get sh*t done). It’s 90 min.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (1989)

One of the great self-help books from the late 1980s was recommended by multiple people.

One commented, “If I wanted to suggest the ONE book anyone to read in their lifetime, it is it. The idea is simple—be proactive, live by your values, and focus on what’s in your control. It will change the way you think and approach life.”

Another agreed, writing, “7 Habits also changed my life years ago by making my interpersonal relationships better, even though it doesn’t talk much about it. The book just motivated me to be my authentic self, increase my self-worth, and hence improved my relationship with others as a side effect. I had also read how to win friends and influence people at that similar period, but that book didn’t add any value as much as 7 Habits did.”

3. If the World Were a Village by David J. Smith (2002)

The first children’s book to grace the chat is a best-selling thought experiment that imagines the world’s 6.8 billion population as a village of just 100 people. One person describes it as a “short picture book, but [one that] completely changed how I see the life, world.”

They continue, “I was shocked how fortunate I was compared to all other people who do not even have basic food and water, and at the time, I was so ashamed that I took it for granted. Since then, I’ve traveled around the world, trying to interact with local people, and I try to learn about the history and the reality of these locations. (And I learned English to communicate.) I would not be who I am today without that book.”

4. The Anatomy of Anxiety by Ellen Vora (2022)

Acclaimed psychiatrist Dr. Ellen Vora’s nonfiction book helps readers understand how anxiety manifests itself in the body and mind as a fear mechanism—and walks them through steps they can take to overcome it.

“Before reading this book, I’d been focusing lopsidedly on the spiritual side and suffering from years of anxiety problems and panic attacks,” writes one Reddit user. “This book is a turning point for me, enabling me to view the mechanism of anxiety in the body more objectively.”

5. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes (1966)

First published as a short story in the April 1959 issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (which won the Hugo Award for Best Short Story the following year), Flowers for Algernon is a powerful novel about the treatment of people who are mentally challenged. It explores the complicated relationship between intellect, emotion, and happiness.

One person commented that the novel “really made me think about how we all judge and treat other people, especially how we as humans look down on other people in different, subtle ways. It actually made me sick in a way I’ll never forget” and “completely changed my view on how we treat ‘stupid’ people. It’s so profound, because it’s such a short text, but it just hits you like a bullet train. I never cried so much after reading a book before.”

6. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig (1947)

Pirsig narrates a summer motorcycle trip undertaken by a father and his son, which slowly morphs into a man’s search for meaning.

“I can’t fully describe the feeling. Part of my love was his concept of ‘quality’ and it almost becomes religion-like,” commented one person. “It’s been probably 25 years since I read it. I should read it again.”

books, reading, novels, classics, inspiration, motivation, self-help, literature People insist you can read and re-read 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' for ages. Photo by Glen Alejandro on Unsplash

7. Ishmael by David Quinn (1992)

“The metaphor about society being a faulty plane that is falling off a cliff but thinks it’s flying simply because it hasn’t hit the ground yet has always stuck with me,” wrote one Reddit user of the philosophical novel.

Framed as a Socratic conversation between two characters, author David Quinn explores the ways modern human supremacy causes irreparable damage to the environment.

Another user echoed their praise, writing: “I read a ton of self-help, and all the ones mentioned in this thread I have rolled my eyes at because they reiterate common thought trends with an occasional light bulb moment. Not to say they aren’t helpful, just not necessarily 'change my life' kind of books. Ishmael made me THINK and put life in perspective. It was the book that changed my conservative thinking to a very much empathy based way of living with intention.”

8. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (161-180)

The Roman Emperor’s series of personal writings resounded with readers, with one who commented, “Some of the best thoughts on how to live and grow, and how to deal with adversity, mortality, and impermanence. Dude was pretty in touch with the universal human condition for an Emperor.”

Another person replied, “I think I really need to give a copy of this to my brother… It really helped me out, and I think I see him struggling with things that could be easier for him with some tools he could gain from this.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

9. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach (2004)

Reddit users are not the only ones who loved this book about embracing life through the heart of a Buddha; beloved Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh wrote, “Radical Acceptance offers us an invitation to embrace ourselves with all our pain, fear, and anxieties, and to step lightly yet firmly on the path of understanding and compassion.”

Similarly, people on the thread sung its praises, writing, “Her RAIN method has literally saved my life and changed my perspective on how I interact with the world and how I treat myself. Thanks to her, I’m heading into a new chapter where trauma doesn’t rule my life,” and “This book helped me tremendously while navigating hard personal situations, including terminal disease in my family.”

10. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy (1963)

One person found this book, which posits our subconscious dictates life events, to be tremendously powerful.

“I’m a pragmatic person and would question this book would it be introduced to me now instead of when my mind was more open,” they begin. “Maybe it works because it makes you believe that all it takes is a wish and some work… I read it when I was about 15 and have had many things I wished for happen.”

11. Siddhartha by Herman Hesse (1922)

Hesse’s ninth novel follows the spiritual journey of a man during the time of the Gautama Buddha. Originally published in 1922, it was later published in the United States in 1951.

One user writes, “We sometimes find ourselves most lost when we stop believing other people are going to be able to give us the mentorship we need. Often, literature can teach what straightforward non-fiction texts can’t.”

12. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant (2020)

For a user on the thread, Ravikant’s inspirational self-healing book “brought home how essential self-love is, and that it isn’t indulgent or narcissistic. It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

13. The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1943)

One of the best-selling books of all time, The Little Prince comments on life, adults, and human nature.

In particular, one part of the novel stood out for this Redditor: “The part in The Little Prince where the adult looks at his drawing and thinks it’s a top hat and the kid says ‘no, it’s a picture of a snake that just ate an elephant’ really helped little kid me understand how people can see the same things so differently. It seems small now, but as a little kid it’s hard to understand why adults ‘don’t get it’ when it seems obvious to kids. That helped me have patience for my parents/adults, and I think I carried it with me as a beginner builder of compassion for people in general.”

14. Get It Done by Aylet Fishbach (2022)

The final book recommendation came from a user’s friend. For them, psychologist and behavioral scientist Aylet Fishbach’s book “changed the way I think about how I manage my time and myself. I rarely think of ‘recovery’ and ‘productivity’ in the same sentence, and generally think in terms of opportunity costs or how to best use my time.”

15. The 12 Week Year by Brian P. Moran and Michael Lennington (2013)

The 12 Week Year offers an organizational system that combats the trouble people have sticking to New Years resolutions and other annual goals. The workbook breaks a year down into multiple 12-week chunks and helps encourage ugency in both goal-setting and how people approach those goals.

One commenter wrote, "It completely changed how I view time. A year is too long to stay focused, but 12 weeks? That’s war mode. It forces action and kills procrastination. It made me realize how much time I was wasting 'planning' instead of executing."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

boomers, boomer grand parents, baby boomers, couple in their 70s, grandparents

A stressed mother and her baby boomer parents.

It's really amazing how the times have changed. There was a strange phenomenon in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, when Gen Xers and older millennials were raised: their baby boomer parents were not around very much. This generation of children was often cared for in daycare or attended school with keys strung around their necks, and when they came home, they were told not to answer the door until a parent arrived. They were the children raised during both the divorce epidemic and the time when, for many families, both parents had to work. Now, if anything, parents are hyper-involved in their kids' lives.

However, the least parented generation in American history had strong relationships with their grandparents, who loved spending time with them and taking on babysitting duties. But now that the kids raised in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and '90s have children of their own, they’re noticing something interesting: the parents who weren’t around to raise them aren’t that into being grandparents either.


How are Baby Boomer grandparents different?

There is a lot of talk about the differences between Baby Boomers as grandparents and their parents from the Silent Generation. Some believe it’s because Baby Boomers have more money than their parents, who were raised when grandparents played a more significant role in child-rearing. After all, they didn't expect to travel or have busy social lives. Therefore, they have more lifestyle options to pursue than the generation before them. Unfortunately, that means their kids and grandkids are often seen as an afterthought.

boomers, boomer grand parents, baby boomers, couple in their 70s, grandparents Happy Baby Boomers.via Canva/Photos

This generation trend begs the question: Why do Boomer parents beg their kids to have children, but shy away when it comes to spending time with them?

An upset mother recently vented about the double standard on Reddit.

“My mother, a devout Christian, always preached the importance of getting married and having children. Now that I’ve done both (and happily so) and moved to be closer to her, she has very little interest in hanging out with us and never, ever offers to watch her grandkids,” she wrote. “I’ve been reading up on this, and it seems that it’s not uncommon. After moving across the country during COVID, I had dreams of my mom wanting to be an active part of our lives. The sad truth of it is, is that I see her maybe once more a year than when I lived across the country…and it’s not for lack of trying on my part.”

A lot of young parents feel abandoned by the older generation

The post resonated with many mothers her age who had experienced the same problem. Their Boomer parents begged them to have children, but they won’t lift a finger to see them. Now they feel like they've been hung out to dry. They gave their parents what they wanted, and now they have to raise them alone. The feeling of abandonment is especially worse at a time when basic necessities, such as childcare, are much more expensive than when their Boomer parents were raising kids.

stressed mom, mom and baby, crying mom, newborn, parenting A stressed mom crying with her baby.via Canva/Photos


“Yup, completely describes my Boomer parents. They begged and begged for us to relocate back to my home city. Still, as we began searching for new job opportunities/places to live, we naturally discussed the possibility of them spending some alone time with the grandkids from time to time,” another mom wrote. “That was a full stop for them. Both my parents insisted they’d retired from child watching duties and would not ever be utilized as ‘babysitters.’ The only acceptable option for them was for us to be present the entirety of the time their grandkids were interacting with them.”

“I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of the Boomers want to be 'seen' as 'good grandparents' while not doing a damn thing,” another mom added.

Another mom noted that their grandparents were amazing, but their parents are the exact opposite. “What’s crazy is I spent TONS of time with my grandparents as a child. I’d routinely be dropped off on the weekends and weeknights,” the mother wrote. “My grandparents picked me up from school regularly. It’s not like my grandparents were doing the same behavior, and therefore it’s a learned generational thing.”

boomers, boomer grand parents, baby boomers, couple in their 70s, grandparents Baby Boomer grand parents.via Canva/Photos

One mother in the thread expressed sympathy for Baby Boomers who felt pressured to have children, regardless of whether they wanted them. She believes that now they’re getting their time back. “It’s because even though Boomers had the physical choice to become parents, they didn’t have the cultural/social choice. Whenever I hear this story, I figure the grandparents didn’t really want children. It also explains why we were at our grandparents' so often: anything they could do to not be around us, they took it up,” she wrote.

It’s wrong to paint an entire generation with the same brush, and there are, no doubt, plenty of wonderful Baby Boomer grandparents out there. However, it’s not surprising that a group of people once called the “Me Generation” is more reluctant to spend time with their families than those who came before them. One wonders if their feelings toward family will change when they become the ones who need to be cared for?

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.