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“A balm for the soul”
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People share the most beautiful thing someone's done for them and it's a balm for the soul

From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to loved ones stepping up for one another, this is the best of humanity in action.

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Photo by Anna Tarazevich/YouTube, Screenshot comments from Upworthy/Instagram

We all can use reminders of the good in people.

News headlines have always skewed negative—"If it bleeds, it leads" is a saying for a reason—but combine the news with a contentious election year and the polarization we so often find on social media and the world can feel rather disheartening.

What we focus on is what we see, however, and if we want to see the good in the world, that's what we have to look at. Part of our mission here at Upworthy is to demonstrate that people are a force for good, and nowhere is that clearer than in the stories our audience shares with us.

We asked our readers, "What's the most beautiful thing someone has done for you?" and the responses are a needed reminder of what's wonderful about people. From random acts of kindness to anonymous altruism to family and community stepping up in the most inspiring ways, here are some examples of humans choosing kindness, thoughtfulness and selflessness to make one another's lives a little better.


"My very attentive GYN doctor kept me much longer at an appointment than it should’ve been. She did not want me to leave the room, being I expressed the verbal and manipulative abuse I was getting from my husband. She gave me a counseling session that I have no words to describe how it helped me."

"When I was going through cancer treatment, and too sick and tired from the chemotherapy to leave the house or be on my feet for very long, my boyfriend (now husband) would take me out and drive all day through various scenic places just so I could see things, feel the wind and smell the air with the windows down. It pulled me out of a very dark hole a few times and gave me the will to keep going!"

"My best friend took me in when my life was falling apart and encouraged me every day that I would survive. She fed me when I was too depressed to eat, she let me bring my cat ( and she was not a cat person) because she knew I needed him for comfort. My husband had cheated on me , my mom was dying and I made it through several months with her until I finally found the courage to stand up on my own again because of her constant faith in me . Her acts of kindness , compassion and love were gestures of beauty from her heart to mine ❤️"

"As a poor college student majoring in music, I sold my piano to pay tuition. My brother bought it back and gave it to me for Christmas that year. My daughter has that piano now."

"My 12 step sponsor. We had never met the day I asked her to sponsor me. We met at her house every Monday for 15 months. She brought me through the 12 steps and helped me learn to love myself, to forgive others, to make amends for my harms done and to be in service. I'm 7 yrs sober and happier than I ever imagined I could be. ❤️" "I once saw a man who looked exactly like my ex partner who’d passed away. It was shocking but also felt so surreal like he was standing in front of me again. I was crying so much but I asked that random stranger for a hug after explaining why. We stood hugging for a long time. It felt like the hug I never got to have. It was so kind of him. 💔 "

"When I had cancer, a lot of friends got together, unbeknownst to me, and folded 1,000 paper cranes. They signed and put kind words side them. Then they gave them to me at a party. I was blown away. They are now hanging in my house as art."

"Mentor me! I grew up in poverty in an unsavory environment. Throughout my life I was presented with wonderful mentors, in addition to the wonderful mother I have present in my life , who pushed me be the best version of myself in the world so that I didn’t have to be a statistic of my environment. Here I am, a happy and thriving man in life because of that attention."

"Probably the elderly couple who took me in as a grandkid adoptee when I was experiencing a lot of chaos and neglect in my family. I spent weeks at their house during the Summer for years and years, starting around age 4. They cooked me good food and sewed me clothes. They had professional photos taken of me for their mantelpiece. I thought they were my actual Grandparents."

"After deciding to leave an abusive marriage with my two small children in tow (ages 2 and 5), my best friend and some of her friends that I did not know packed my apartment, moved all our stuff, AND UNPACKED IT! We got to our new place and it looked like home. I will never forget this act of kindness. It was 18 years ago."

"I had just had my son and had a tough day. My coworker and friend who lived over 4.5 hours away was on the phone with me and could hear I was struggling. This beautiful human offered to drive down here, through LA traffic,to help over the weekend so that I could take care of me. I didn’t take her up on it, but that sheer act of kindness has stuck with me and I tell the story often. My son will be 15 and in high school in a few months and the thought of her complete selfless offer still brings me to tears."

"I had a panic attack outside a shopping centre, and 2 teenage girls saw me upset, came over and offered to get me water and gave me a big hug. Changed my day completely."

"My husband, who stayed by my side through my sickness. He put aside his desire to become a father, because he chose *me* as a partner above all. Throughout my endometriosis journey, 3 surgeries, and the 5 IVFs we had he stood by my side and supported me. We were blessed enough to become parents after all, after 7 rough years, but he would have stayed with me even if that hadn't happened. ❤️"

"When my 7-year old niece was dying, I was in charge of arranging my other siblings’ travel so we could all be with my niece (and my sister, her mom) to say goodbye. I was pregnant, distraught, and barely functioning. Any other time, searching up airfare and making travel arrangements would have been a snap, which is why I was assigned the job. My neighbor stopped by and found me sobbing on the floor. She calmly took over — called my all my family members, none of whom she knew, and arranged travel for strangers while I returned to the hospital. It seems small but when someone does a task for you when you are most in need, it’s gigantic. I will never forget the relief she brought me, and the time she gave me with my niece. Her kindness is inextricably linked to my grief, a bright light in all that darkness."

"My SIL made a freezer full of meals (maybe 25+ meals, desserts and snacks) for me when I was pregnant with my second. I didn’t have to cook for probably 2 months after we brought our baby girl home 🥹"

"Snuck my puppy into the hospital to visit me. Like she went full on incognito mode and put my puppy in a crate, covered it with a blanket and wheeled him in my room. The nurses considered it good medicine and looked the other way. It was in fact good medicine. I was in that bed for 3 weeks. It was and still is one of the most beautiful and special things anyone has ever done for me."

"My disabled son swims in the pool at the gym with a personal trainer. We pay ahead of time for half hour units. But for some reason his month is already paid for. Every month. I don’t know who does this but I’m so grateful."

"I was struggling with depression and basic functioning during my divorce.. finances were unbelievably tight..my kids & I took a train to visit my parents and left house keys with a friend so they could feed cats. When we returned, our house was stocked with food in pantry and fridge, even frozen meals to thaw..pads and tampons in the bathroom.. and a new oven. We had been cooking out of a toaster oven for a year because ours was broken & old and I couldn’t afford a replacement. 🥹"

"When I left my abuser I had a four year old and a four month old. We left with two backpacks and a handful of special items. I was so terrified to start over. A friend of mine posted on Facebook asking for resources to help me furnish my new condo and the post blew up. Strangers from all over my city came and brought blankets, dishes, furniture and a beautiful crib for my daughter. There was not a single item that I needed to purchase on my own. All I could do is cry and thank them all for their kindness. I had nothing to give in return except sheer gratitude. Some drove to me to drop off items and share their stories of survival with me. I remember feeling so awful when I left, doubting if I could stay gone and if I’d be able rebuild my life, but I did. Those people helped me to stand on my feet and gave me hope to help me find my voice again."

"I was bartending at a hotel in Bloomington Indiana where I went to College. I kept myself busy during the slow daytime hours, rug hooking, crafting a gift for my mother. A stranger traveling through town for business (Otis Elevators) sat at the bar for a beer after lunch. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was making a rug for my mother. Because my family is in St. Louis. He asked why I was still here since school was out. I told him I needed to make money so I stayed at this job. He asked if I go home often I said, not enough. It’s too expensive. We chatted for a while and I remember he was kind and 'fatherly' - not at all like the other men who had other things in mind.

The next evening when I came to work there was an envelope with my first name on it. Inside was a one-way ticket to St. Louis and a note that said, “go home and see your mom. “ I will never ever forget that man and how he made me feel. And yes, I went home for an extra hug from my mom. ❤️"

"When I was a kid in 9th grade, my teacher believed me when I told her I was being abused at home. She was the first adult to ever show concern. I think about Ms. Oliver every day. I just needed one person to help me."

"I live in Sacramento and l many years ago I had my purse stolen which is completely devastating. This was before cell phones and the phone book with all of my friends numbers were in it. A few months after it happened a package came in the mail, the return address was just a general San Francisco Post Office address. Inside the package was a number of things from my purse including my driver's license, my phone book, and some other things (some that weren't mine). There was a note inside with some misspellings and grammar errors, that said something along the lines of, I was hitchhiking and found some things on the side of the highway that looked like they were important, so I scrounged some money to send them to you. I think there was a signature, but there wasn't an address for me to send a thank you. This was a true act of selfless kindness, and I still appreciate it to this day."

"I have a facial deformity and I was bullied through elementary and high school and a bit in college. People stare at me, even today, rather than speaking to me as if I am a human being. This history has given me extremely low self esteem. I am 60 years old, but, for this reason, I don’t leave my house unless I absolutely have to (I am fortunate enough to work from home). One day, I was walking through Walmart, looking down, as I usually do, because I don’t like people staring at me, and a man, who must have sensed my unease, walked up to me and told me I was beautiful and to hold my head up and walk proud. It brought tears to my eyes and this random man hugged me - like a 'real' strong hug that a person who cares would give. It made my MONTH! I have no idea who he was, but I will love him forever. You always remember the way people make you feel."

If you loved these stories and want to read more like it, our book, "GOOD PEOPLE: Stories from the Best of Humanity" is available for pre-order now. Find it here.

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.


Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

Identity

Man exposes the absurdity of sexist marketing by creating shirts that label men like we do women

This guy exposes the absurdity of sexist marketing by creating shirts that label men like we do women.

Recently, Upworthy shared a tweet thread by author A.R. Moxon who created a brilliant metaphor to help men understand the constant anxiety that potential sexual abuse causes women.

He did so by equating sexual assault to something that men have a deep-seeded fear of: being kicked in the testicles.





An anonymous man in England who goes by the Twitter handle @manwhohasitall has found a brilliantly simple way of illustrating how we condescend to women by speaking to men the same way.

ManWhoHasItAll also highlights society's ridiculous need to label the women who participate in male-dominated fields. We can't just say that Amy Schumer is a comedian. She has to be known as a "funny female" or a "female comic." No one ever feels the need to point out the fact that Chris Rock is male.

When we qualify women for their professions, whether in science and technology or entertainment, it diminishes their involvement and makes them appear instead to be a token of someone who has earned their position.

Comedian Jen Kirkman has a perfect response to the question: What's it like to be a female comedian?

"This question is the hardest part – it's yet again another opportunity for guys to say that I'm complaining or to retread the same old stories. There is sexism in the world so of course it bleeds into every single area of life. I don't answer this particular question anymore," she said.

"Getting put on pink flyers. Being asked to do shows that are marketed in such groundbreaking ways as 'Chicks Are Funny Too,' 'Broads, Beer, and Belly Laughs.' Being introduced as 'a lovely lady,'" she continued.

ManWhoHasItAll has found a brilliant way to spread his message by creating a collection of T-shirts that condescend to men by labeling them "Male Scientist," "Male Lawyer," and "Male Programmer."

These shirts highlight the idea that we can be more inclusive by accepting women in these positions without the need to use a gender qualifier.

Here are some of the shirts you can find at ManWhoHasItAll's website.

via ManWhoHasItAll

via ManWhoHasItAll

via ManWhoHasItAll

via ManWhoHasItAll

via ManWhoHasItAll

This article originally appeared on 7.22.19

An old woman holding a cane.

Death is the last great mystery that all of us face. We don’t know when we will go or can really be sure what comes next. So there’s understandably a lot of fear and uncertainty that most of us feel around death, whether we’re thinking about ourselves or a loved one.

That’s why Julie McFadden's work is so important. As a palliative care nurse in the Los Angeles area, who has seen over a hundred people die, her TikTok videos shed light on the process to make us all a bit more comfortable with the inevitable.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

The nurse’s experience helping people in their final stages has given her a unique perspective on the process. In a recent video, she shared how she can see the first symptoms that someone is going to die a natural death about 6 months before they finally do.


Interestingly, she can determine that someone only has half a year left to live when most of us have no idea they have entered the final stages of life.

@hospicenursejulie

Replying to @Mariah educating yourself about scary topics will help decrease fear. ✨Nothing to Fear ✨- my book- out june 11th #hospicenursejulie #hospicenurse #caregiversoftiktok #medicaltiktok #learnontiktok #nothingtofearbook

What are the symptoms of dying at the 6-month mark?

McFadden adds that people who are dying are usually placed in hospice care when the symptoms begin to appear around the 6-month mark.

"You will have very generalized symptoms. Those symptoms will usually be, one, you will be less social. So you'll be more introverted than extroverted," McFadden said. "Two, you will be sleeping a lot more. And three, you will be eating and drinking a lot less. Literally, everyone on hospice, I see this happen to."

heaven, clouds, ray of lightA Ray of light over a mountain. via PIxbay/Pexels



What are the symptoms of dying at the 3-month mark?

You are going to notice more debility,” McFadden continues. “They will be staying in their house most of the time. It's going to be difficult getting up and just going to the bathroom. Again, sleeping a lot more and eating and drinking a lot less.”

What are the symptoms of dying at the 1-month mark?

Something usually begins to happen in the final month of someone’s life. They start to believe they are in contact with others they have lost. It’s like they are there to make the dying person feel comfortable with their final transition.

"Usually around the one month mark is when people will start seeing 'the unseen', they have the visioning. They'll be seeing dead relatives, dead loved ones, dead pets, old friends who have died,” McFadden said. “Again, not everyone — but many, many people will start seeing these things at around one month."

heaven, death, trumpetAn angel with a trumpet.via PixaBay/Pexels

Angela Morrow, a registered nurse at Verywell Health, agrees that people in the final stage of life often hear from those who have passed before them. Morrow says we should refrain from correcting the patients when they share their stories of talking to people and pets who have died. "You might feel frustrated because you can't know for sure whether they're hallucinating, having a spiritual experience, or just getting confused. The uncertainty can be unsettling, but it's part of the process," Morrow writes.

At the end of the video, McFadden says that the most important factors palliative care nurses look at to determine the stage of death are eating, drinking and sleeping. “Most people, a few weeks out from death, will be sleeping more than they are awake. And they will be barely eating and barely drinking,” McFadden said.

i.giphy.com

In the end, hospice nurses “allow the body to be the guide” as they help their patients transition from life to death.

McFadden’s work has brought a lot of peace to her followers as they go through trying times. "My mom is in hospice right now and she’s currently, I think, hours or days from death. YourTikToks have helped me out tremendously," Deb wrote. "My grandma passed away in February, and she experienced all of this. this page brings me peace knowing everything she went through was natural," Jaida added.

"Thanks, Julie. I volunteer in a hospice end-of-life facility, and this helps educate the families. Your posts are wonderful," Grandma Nita wrote.

One of the things that makes death so scary is the number of unknowns surrounding the process. That’s why it’s so important that McFadden shares her stories of helping people to the next side. She shows that death is a natural process and that hospice nurses are here to help make the transition as peaceful as possible.

via Instagram

Some couples are just meant to be together. Sarah, 38, and Jenni Barret, 37, have gone through some major changes as a couple and after 15 years of marriage, have managed to find themselves happier than ever.

Jenni and Sarah both met through a friend at Arizona State University in 2004. But back then Sarah was called Sean. Jenni identified as a straight woman and Sean, a straight man.

"I knew he was The One as soon as he gave me a killer head massage that same night," Jenni told The Daily Mail. The couple tied the knot in December of 2005.


At the time, Jenni didn't know about her fiance's gender issues, but she thought it was a little unique that she took such an interest in their wedding plans.

"I didn't clock it at the time, but looking back at the wedding, Sarah was a bit of a bridezilla," Jenni says. "I was happy to elope and get married just us two, but she organized every part of the big day, from tableware to the venue - all I did was try on the dress and turn up."

via JenniBerr / Instagram

The couple would go on to have two boys, Morgan in 2007 and Toby in 2009.

After the birth of their second child, Jenni began to notice that Sarah would buy clothing traditionally meant for women.

"She started buying a lot of clothes like that, which were on the edge of what is seen as male or female," Jenni says. "She would wear a nightie to bed and on date nights she'd be wearing countless layers of clothes with a bra underneath, so no one could see. I noticed something going on, but it wasn't hurting anybody so I left it."

However, the couple's suspicions that their eldest son, Morgan, may be gay brought the issue to the forefront in their relationship.

"We'd suspected Morgan was gay since he was about two," Jenni says. "He just can't hide it — not that we would ever want him to. He was born singing theme tunes and being over the top."

The discussions about Morgan's sexuality pushed Sarah to put a mirror up to herself and have a tough conversation with Jenni.

"Sarah rolled over one evening in bed in 2016 and told me, 'I really need to talk to you - I think I'm trans.' I'd come to realize why I'd always been so drawn to her, it was because of who she was on the inside — a woman — and not her shell," Jenni said.

"I turned around and said, 'That's ok, I think I'm gay.'"

What began as a heterosexual relationship had transformed into a loving lesbian marriage. The next job was explaining the situation to their children.

"We explained that Daddy had a girl's brain and that it was in the wrong body — but doctors would fix it," Jenni says. "Now, we're both Jewish, the boys call Sarah 'Eema' — Hebrew for Mother."

Sean changed her name to Sarah and began to take a combination of of testosterone blockers and estrogen every day. The couple set up an Instagram account to celebrate their unique family.

"We're so proud of our LGBT family, although we do always say that, after Morgan came out in 2018, Toby must feel left out," Jenni says.

"He jokes that he's going to have to come out as bisexual to fit in!"





This article originally appeared on 9.4.20

"Run the dishwasher twice" might sound like strange mental health advice, but a viral post is proving that it's actually quite helpful.

Danielle Wunker, a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor, shared a story on her Facebook page that is resonating with people who struggle with mental health issues. It originally came from an answer from Katie Scott on Quora to the question "Has a therapist ever told you something completely unexpected?"

It reads:

"When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn't get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by.

I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn't have much to 'bring' to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.

'What are you struggling with?' he asked.

I gestured around me and said 'I dunno man. Life.'

Not satisfied with my answer, he said 'No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you?'




man sitting on chair covering his eyes Photo by christopher lemercier on Unsplash



I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn't want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial.
Something more profound.

But I didn't.

So I told him, 'Honestly? The dishes. It's stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN'T do them because I'll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can't stand and scrub the dishes.'

I felt like an idiot even saying it.

What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I'm whining to my therapist about dishes?

But he nodded in understanding and then said:

'Run the dishwasher twice.'



File:Dishwasher with dishes.JPG - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

I began to tell him that you're not supposed to, but he stopped me.

'Why the hell aren't you supposed to? If you don't want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist.'

It blew my mind in a way that I don't think I can properly express.

That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times.

I felt like I had conquered a dragon.

The next day, I took a shower lying down.

A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit.

There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again.

Now that I'm in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry.

But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson:

There are no rules.

Run the dishwasher twice."



Anyone who has been in a mental or emotional place where even just the most basic, mundane tasks seem overwhelming understands the wisdom in this lesson. Dishes might seem like such a minor detail of life, but those kinds of minor details can be the straw that breaks the camel's back mentally. If you've never stared at a basket of laundry that would take three minutes to fold and thought, "Nope, can't do it. Not now. Maybe not ever..." then you may not need this lesson, but there are millions of people who appreciate the express permission to let go of the rules in our heads about how things have to be done.

Adjusting expectations and arbitrary ideas about how something works is incredibly freeing and can provide a seemingly temporary fix for a seemingly insurmountable problem. Oddly enough, though, that temporary fix can be the necessary bridge that gets someone from unable-to-cope-with-daily-life-things to functioning on a somewhat normal level.

Mental health is such a tricky thing to manage, and many of the tools for managing it run counter to what we might expect. That's what therapists are for—to help us step outside the box of our own brains, adjust our thoughts and behaviors to create greater possibilities for ourselves, and give us permission to reject the negative voices in our head try to keep us locked in unhelpful or unhealthy patterns.

Even when that unhelpful pattern is as simple as letting the dishes pile up instead of running the dishwasher twice.


This article originally appeared on 11.20.20

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