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Joy

People over 30 are sharing their biggest regrets so we can all learn from them

Here are 13 of the most powerful responses.

regrets, regrets over 30, people pleaser
via Anete Lusina/Pexels

A woman realizes that she has some pretty big regrets in life.

After the age of 30, people begin to judge the decisions they’ve made in the past based on their newfound perspective on life. This is a time when many of us pause and take stock of where we are versus where we imagined we'd be. As careers, relationships and personal aspirations begin to unfold, so do the realizations of things we may have done wrong. But it's also time for a type of self-reflection that can empower us to make more informed decisions in the future.

There probably isn’t one person alive over the age of 30 who doesn’t have at least one major regret. The key is to use that regret to your advantage by learning from it and not making the same mistake twice.

Regrets can also be helpful to others as a warning of some of the pitfalls in life to avoid.

A Redditor who goes by noThefakedevesh recently posed a question to the AskReddit subforum: “People above 30, what's your biggest regret in life?” The question was a great excuse for people to share their regrets and how they overcame the mistakes they made in the past. The list of regrets is also a wonderful way for younger people to avoid things that will give them regrets later in life.

One of the most powerful themes repeated in the post was people’s regret for caring too much about other people’s opinions and trying to be people-pleasers. Many people also regretted not taking more risks in life, especially when they were younger.

Here are 13 of the most powerful regrets people 30 and over shared on Reddit.

1. Not being healthy

"Not taking my own health seriously." — Outlasndishness3310

"I always think of the line from 'Peggy Sue Got Married' where she asks her grandfather if he could go back and do things differently, what would he change and he says, 'I'd have taken better care of my teeth.'" — TrustAvidity

2. Fear of judgement

"The amount of time I spent anxious about being judged." — BastardWing

"When I learned to let go, it was amazing. You can't control other people's opinions. You only get to control yourself and your own attitude. What other people think of me really doesn't have much effect on my life and it's easy enough to not interact with folks who judge me." — tmp_advent_of_code

"'Never take criticism from people you wouldn't go to for advice' has helped me with this many times." — RemainingEye

3. Fear of failure

"Not putting myself out there due to fear of failure. Failing should be celebrated and encouraged as a tool to learn and grow and improve." — TheWinderousWizard

4. Not exercising

"My biggest regret is not getting into exercise earlier. I thought people only exercised to lose weight and I was convinced I was just meant to be overweight. In my 30s I discovered running and volleyball and now I’m fitter in my 40s than I was in my 20s. I wish I’d realised how much fun I could be having." — NeitherGur5003

"One of the most useful tools for me recently has been reframing exercise as movement. The word 'exercise' has a punishing connotation to me - it's a tool used to cudgel 'lazy' people. 'Movement,' however, is joyful and free-flowing. Movement can be running, lifting weights, dancing, yoga, stretching, scrubbing your bathroom, walking your dog, goofing off with your nieces and nephews, parkour, bike riding - whatever. Celebrating movement gets me to appreciate the power of my body and the pleasure of mobility. It helps me to focus on a healthier relationship with my body that emphasizes the long-term ability to inhabit and utilize this great, useful, electrified meat sack that requires nourishment and ongoing maintenance. Anyway, hope that helps you too." — BarnacledSeaWitch

5. Being a people pleaser

"This 10000000%. Can't help others if you don't take care of yourself first. Hugely with kids and parents. Parents are ineffective if they ignore their spouses and put all their energy into everything else and nothing into themselves and each other." — Slickpoison

6. Should have invested earlier

"Yes to investing. I'm close to retiring and don't have anywhere close to the amount that I'd like. I used to make fun of my brother for his frugality but it turns out I was the foolish one." — Scurtrberau

"Rule of 72- at 8% growth you’d see your money double in 9 years. Waiting a decade means you miss out on doubling that money. What’s worse is that you have a certain set number of doubling periods before retirement- 22-31, 31-40, 40-49, 49-58, 58-67 - 5 doubling periods. $1 put in at 22 is worth 25 = $32 at retirement." — Burnbabyburn11

7. Paid too much attention to parents

"I listened to my parents too much when I was younger." — Distressed_Finish

"My mother was never going to understand me or love me unconditionally, or see me as anything other than something to possess and control, and I wish I could have realized it and freed myself from her sooner." — FloraFly

8. Waiting too long to get sober

"I'm in my 40s now and pretty much drank my way through my 20s and early 30s. I got into the lifestyle of drinking with friends every day after work, then a big session Friday night and it was the norm for me, I pitied people who just went straight home from work. Now thinking of all the money I spent, the health implications, the general setting my life back by 15 years, I think I was the one that was pitiable." — Dave80

"Same. I was a casual/social drinker my entire 20s and early 30s, and I wish I was not. Life without alcohol is so much better." — Barhanita

9. Put more effort into friendships

"I wish I didn't let friendships die so easily. I'm 36 and you'd be surprised how fast you can go a decade without talking to someone you once saw every day." — NutellaBanabaBread

10. Missed opportunities with women

"Took me far too long to realise if I had just taken my shot, I most likely would have succeeded with a few of my crushes. But I am happy were I am now, but man some of those missed opportunities..." — Zeebie_

11. Smoking

"Wish I never would have touched a cigarette." — BlueStarSpecial

"This for sure, I smoked for 25 years, maybe 15 a day. At today's prices in the UK that amounts to around £82k or just over $100k." — Dave80

12. Self-loathing

"I regret the amount of time I spent hating my body. The self-loathing I had with my appearance consumed me, and now when I look back at photos of me in my twenties I just wish I could have seen how skinny I was." — Wetsummer486

13. Being a loyal employee

"Being loyal to a company and expecting to be rewarded later." — Pinkpujita

"Been job hopping every 2-3 years. New projects, more motivation, learning new stuff, most of the time with increased salary." — fr6nco

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History (Education)

The fascinating reason people looked much older in the past than they do today

Why did teenagers look like they were in their mid-30s?

via Vsauce/YouTube

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging productsBuddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. upload.wikimedia.org

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products30 going on 60…media3.giphy.com

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person's name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces "match" their names tend to be better perceived.

Basically, this 22-minute video is chalked full of fascinating tidbits. Give it a watch below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. "Tweakments," like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever—not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it's hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can't wait to see bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Internet

This fictional group chat has so much juicy drama that it's everyone's new favorite show

Have you tuned into the latest "Group Chat?"

GIPHY, Canva

We're all so invested in this.

No, this group chat contains no classified war plans. This group chat isn’t even a real group chat. But it has so much juicy drama that people are totally hooked.

We are of course talking about the “Group Chat” TikTok skit series that quite literally blew up overnight.

The first “episode” details the heroically passive aggressive (yet ultimately very relatable) text spat between four girlfriends after one of them, Hailey, says her boyfriend Justin will be tagging along for dinner, since he’s had “such a rough day” and they’d “totally get it.” The other gals aren’t very keen on this, and of course, drama ensues.

@thatgirlsydjo The Group Chat: a series #groupchat #friends #drama #tea ♬ original sound - Sydney Jo

Sydney Robinson, who wrote the sketch and plays all the characters, told Rolling Stone she had posted the video on “a lazy Sunday night” with little to no expectations. Come Monday morning, it had already gained a whopping 8 million views, along with tons of comments, including quite a few from celebrities and brands.

“Everybody quiet … my show is on,” wrote the UPS TikTok account/

“this is our super bowl,” added Ashley Furniture.

Part of what has made people so invested is the universal etiquette debate of it all. Well, it wasn’t so much of a debate. Everyone was team #dontinvitetheboyfriendtogirlsnight.

“You guys are nicer than I would have just said ‘dang, we’ll miss you but have fun with Justin!” one person quipped.

Another said “Unless Justin’s family just died, girl can leave him at home”

“Ladies. Do not ever. EVER. think it’s ok to bring your man to girl's night,” wrote a third. “His presence defiles the very definition of girl’s night. If your friends tell you it’s ok, they are lying.”

Robinson told Today that she got inspiration for “Group Chat” back in 2024, when she had been watching an episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation in which Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino tells everyone he’s out of jail via group chat, which caused a shock to the cast. She had wanted to emulate that “feeling” in her own work.

While she had no idea what a viral juggernaut it would turn out to be, she thinks it’s success has to do with it focusing on a very "universal experience” for women.

“I think having a really close group of girlfriends with very different personalities that are bound to clash, but it doesn’t always mean the end of a friendship,” she told Today.

Of course, every series needs to build tension, and subsequent episodes do just that. Like in the video below, when Hailey leaves the group chat (gasp!) and it gets revealed that she actually added Justin to the restaurant reservation weeks ago (double gasp!)

@thatgirlsydjo The Group Chat: Part II #groupchat #friends #drama #tea ♬ original sound - Sydney Jo


Things get even more turbulent in Part 3, when Hailey asks to rejoin the group chat, and invites them to dinner at another restaurant, without Justin. Only when one of the gals shows up, he’s already there! Hailey, you trickster.

@thatgirlsydjo The Group Chat: Part III #groupchat #friends #drama #tea ♬ original sound - Sydney Jo


Later in Part 4, we see what happens between Justin (voiced by actor Charlie Puth, how cool is that?) and the rest of the group. It’s…not pretty.

@thatgirlsydjo The Group Chat: Part IIII #groupchat #friends #drama #tea ♬ original sound - Sydney Jo

Even though the restaurant portion of this story has concluded, Robinson already has some future plot lines up her sleeve. It’s not easy to stand out in a see of TikTok skits, but often it’s the ones with relatable characters and scenarios that gain the most traction. Robison has certainly done that, and kudos to her for it.

Stay tuned with more “Group Chat” shenanigans by following Robinson on TikTok.

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Education

One teacher's simple, disgusting experiment drives home the importance of hand washing

"Hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!"

Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

Simple. Disgusting. Informative.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in preventing the spread of illnesses and infections in hospitals was embarrassingly simple: hand washing. In 1846, Hungarian physician Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that hand washing played a vital role in the spread of germs, and the practice soon became mandatory in hospitals. The simple act of scrubbing hands with soap and water literally saved lives.

Getting a kid to wash their hands, however, can be an uphill battle. While it's a common thing kids (don't) do, global perspective on the importance and effectiveness of hand washing has risen since the COVID-19 pandemic. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in 2023, before the emergence of COVID-19, a survey found that only about 36% of people always washed their hands with soap, 48% sometimes used soap, and an unsettling 16% of respondents said they wash without soap. After COVID-19 emerged, however, more than 72% of respondents reported using soap every time they washed their hands. There's nothing like a pandemic (and perhaps the reality of FAFO) to strike fear into the hearts of those chronic under washers, but in 2019, one teacher did a simple experiment to show her students just how important hand washing is.

"We did a science project in class this last month as flu season was starting," teacher Dayna Robertson and classroom behavioral specialist Jaralee Metcalf wrote on Facebook. "We took fresh bread and touched it. We did one slice untouched. One with unwashed hands. One with hand sanitizer. One with washed hands with warm water and soap. Then we decided to rub a piece on all our classroom Chromebooks." Robertson later noted that they normally do make a point to sanitize the classroom Chromebooks, but didn't that day in the name of science.

science, experiment, dexter's lab, cartoon, kids, hygiene Dexters Laboratory What A Fine Day For Science GIFGiphy

The bread was put into plastic bags and the germs were left to fester. The bread that had been touched by unwashed hands and the bread that had touched the Chromebook had the most mold. The bread that had been touched by hands washed with soap and water remained (relatively) good enough to eat.

This experiment has been done before, but Robertson expanded on it by testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer. The bread that had been touched by hands cleaned with sanitizer also had a fair amount of mold on it, although not as much as the bread touched by unwashed hands.

bread, mold, experiment, education, hand washing, cleanlinessThe bread doesn't lie. Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

"As somebody who is sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired," Robertson wrote, "wash your hands! Remind your kids to wash their hands! And hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!! At all!" It's kind of making us retroactively gag over seeing port-a-potties with hand sanitizer set up in lieu of sinks.

The experiment was prompted by a different science lesson. "We had just finished a science lesson on how leaves break down during winter. The kids were kind of grossed out by the mold, so we decided to run our own version using germs and mold from our own environment," Robertson told Scary Mommy.

Weirdly, the classroom experiment received some criticism. "Lots of people actually DEFENDED not washing their hands!" Robertson told Scary Mommy. "That was shocking! It really was just a simple classroom experiment to teach about mold but we have all learned more about how easily we can spread the germs we can't see."

In the 2019 lens, this lesson being about mold seems simple enough. All of us here in 2025, though, blessed (or cursed) with the experience of the pandemic, know that washing your hands really is as life-saving as Semmelweis proved nearly two centuries ago. Research done in 2020 and published in PubMed showed that individuals who washed their hands consistently were more likely to have lower rates of COVID-19 infection. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2024, hand washing also reduces respiratory illness like colds and flu in the general population by 16-21%, and reduces the number of people with diarrheal illnesses by 23-40%.

And to be sure, how we wash our hands is incredibly important. A quick rinse without scrubbing won't do the trick. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the proper technique for handwashing is to wet your hands, apply soap, and then run your soapy hands under the stream while rotating, rubbing, and scrubbing every inch of your hands for at least 20 seconds. Usually you can hit that mark by singing "Happy Birthday" twice. Then, rinse. When you're done, dry your hands with a clean towel. Check out this demonstration from the CDC:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The moral of the story is, please, please remember to always wash your hands. It really makes a difference.

This article originally appeared six years ago. It has been updated.

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Community

Mom proudly watches autistic son bring down the house singing Ariana Grande karaoke on first cruise

"POV: you started off the cruise as a shy karaoke novice but by the end became a karaoke legend thanks to the best backup strangers ever."

Image via Canva

Young man with autism sings karaoke on his first cruise.

Anyone who's been on a cruise knows that there are endless activities you can participate in while at sea. And for 19-year-old Kevin (@raisingkevin_), a young man with autism and ADHD, there was one activity that he was absolutely drawn to while on his first Caribbean cruise–karaoke.

Kevin's mom and main caretaker Tola documented his first time on a cruise and the impact his joy and enthusiasm for singing on the mic had on everyone. Not only was he embraced by a group of total strangers, but he personally transformed from a timid performer to a 'karaoke legend' by the end of the voyage.

"POV: my son is 19 and has a diagnosis of autism & ADHD. Here he is on a Caribbean cruise in a room full of 'strangers' singing karaoke as off tune as possible without a care in the world," she wrote in the caption.

In the video, Kevin is holding a mic and passionately singing Ariana Grande's song "Dangerous Woman" to an entire room full of supportive people who are singing along with him, including his mom Tola. He doesn't waver once, and his mom added in the caption, "As a parent I used to focus on 'shielding' him in the name of 'protecting' him from the 'bad people in the world' but realized that in doing that I was also shielding him from all the 'good people' in the world too."


ariana grande, singer, gif, celebrity, song, karaoke Ariana Grande Wink GIF by The VoiceGiphy

In the comments, Tola shared how the kindness of strangers was the epitome of inclusion. "Kev has never met anyone in this video prior to this trip but here they are cheering him on like he their nephew! Inclusion at its finest! Hope this encourages other parents to be a lil less scared ❤️," she wrote.

Viewers were deeply impacted by Kevin's bravery and the support of strangers.

"I feel this--- I felt me shielding my son, was protecting, but if anything I was holding that bright light back because I see how weird their world is. But-- how can my sweet heart fly if I hold his wings. Thank you for this reminder❤️❤️❤️❤️."

"My lil neurodivergent heart is so full seeing him have a positive public group✨ moment ✨love that for Kev 💕."

In another video from the cruise, Kevin crushed Ed Sheeran's "Perfect" in front of another crowd. And in the comments, Tola shared more about Kevin's love for karaoke during the cruise and the community that supported him. "So [I] asked Kev what his favorite part of the cruise was and he said the karaoke. Shall we now call him karaoke Kev? 🤣 But really one of the best parts of our cruise was seeing Kev get more and more comfortable with singing some of his favorite tunes in front of strangers who became friends ❤️," she wrote.


Ed Sheeran, singer, snap, karaoke, cruiseEd Sheeran Television GIF by The VoiceGiphy

And viewers cannot get enough of his energy. "Kev really got his entire life on this cruise!! 😂" one wrote. Another commented, "I’m so glad he had a good time and opened up he’s a brave soul love ya Kevin and your mom is a wonderful woman for sharing 👏👏🔥❤️😍❤️👏👏👏."

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Love Stories

​'Love on the Spectrum'​s Abbey writes the most heartfelt song and fans are in tears

"Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there."

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

This song is melting hearts everywhere.

It began in Australia. Producer Karina Holden, alongside director Cian O'Clery, had seen many dating shows and wanted to make something unique and heartfelt, geared entirely toward men and women on the autism spectrum.

O'Clery got the idea after working on a documentary about people with disabilities seeking employment. Screen Rant writer Christine Persaud shares, "After working on the Australian documentary series Employable Me, which shed light on how having a disability should not make someone unemployable, he came across an interesting and unexpected piece of information."

Holden tells Forbes Australia, "It took a long time to convince a public broadcaster [ABC] that this dating show would be done in a unique and authentic way and that there was a real public service value to the series because it spoke about people who are often marginalized and misunderstood."

But they, with Northern Pictures Productions, persevered, and the show was so well-received that it got a second season. Netflix picked it up to share with other countries around the world. From there, a U.S. version was born, airing its first season in 2022 and its most recent season just last week.

In their quest to cast vulnerable and lovable people—truly opening their lives to the examination of love and even heartbreak—the co-creators and producers exceeded expectations. Each season, the cast members (often recurring) allow cameras to follow them, their families, their dates, laughter, and tears. They're also assigned dating coaches/therapists to tenderly address some of the specific issues that come with being on the spectrum in terms of communication, perception, and processing.

It's a learning experience for the daters, their families, and the audience. And more than that, it's a downright joy. We get the honor of watching people express their purest desire—the one most every single person has on earth: to find love.

We watch two of the daters, Abbey and David, go from shy introductions all the way to traveling the world together. And this season, Abbey treats us to a song she wrote specifically for him. With lyrics like "You're the lion to my lioness" (Abbey loves lions!), "The milk to my chardonnay. My Prince Charming doesn't bring me flowers; he knows I'd rather have Gummy Bears any day," David, and their respective families, gasp, as they're so deeply overjoyed.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And the fans are too. It's posted on X with the caption: "You're not emotionally prepared for Abbey's song to David." A commenter replies, "Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there." They're not wrong. It's climbing quickly in likes on TikTok, with fans feeling emotional. One points out, "Hard to believe she was once nonverbal. Sweetest thing I've ever seen." Over on YouTube, the comment section is also filled with people sharing that they were moved to tears. One writes, "Can’t lie, this made me cry like a baby, and I absolutely did not expect that to happen."

One person has compliments for their families: "Can we just say that the parents who have raised these amazing kids into young adults are beyond amazing, and we are inspired by their journeys." Another shares a common thread: "It is SO special witnessing Abbey and David's most beautiful love for one another. A true-life princess and prince fairytale!"

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