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Joy

People over 30 are sharing their biggest regrets so we can all learn from them

Here are 13 of the most powerful responses.

regrets, regrets over 30, people pleaser
via Anete Lusina/Pexels

A woman realizes that she has some pretty big regrets in life.

After the age of 30, people begin to judge the decisions they’ve made in the past based on their newfound perspective on life. This is a time when many of us pause and take stock of where we are versus where we imagined we'd be. As careers, relationships and personal aspirations begin to unfold, so do the realizations of things we may have done wrong. But it's also time for a type of self-reflection that can empower us to make more informed decisions in the future.

There probably isn’t one person alive over the age of 30 who doesn’t have at least one major regret. The key is to use that regret to your advantage by learning from it and not making the same mistake twice.

Regrets can also be helpful to others as a warning of some of the pitfalls in life to avoid.

A Redditor who goes by noThefakedevesh recently posed a question to the AskReddit subforum: “People above 30, what's your biggest regret in life?” The question was a great excuse for people to share their regrets and how they overcame the mistakes they made in the past. The list of regrets is also a wonderful way for younger people to avoid things that will give them regrets later in life.

One of the most powerful themes repeated in the post was people’s regret for caring too much about other people’s opinions and trying to be people-pleasers. Many people also regretted not taking more risks in life, especially when they were younger.

Here are 13 of the most powerful regrets people 30 and over shared on Reddit.

1. Not being healthy

"Not taking my own health seriously." — Outlasndishness3310

"I always think of the line from 'Peggy Sue Got Married' where she asks her grandfather if he could go back and do things differently, what would he change and he says, 'I'd have taken better care of my teeth.'" — TrustAvidity

2. Fear of judgement

"The amount of time I spent anxious about being judged." — BastardWing

"When I learned to let go, it was amazing. You can't control other people's opinions. You only get to control yourself and your own attitude. What other people think of me really doesn't have much effect on my life and it's easy enough to not interact with folks who judge me." — tmp_advent_of_code

"'Never take criticism from people you wouldn't go to for advice' has helped me with this many times." — RemainingEye

3. Fear of failure

"Not putting myself out there due to fear of failure. Failing should be celebrated and encouraged as a tool to learn and grow and improve." — TheWinderousWizard

4. Not exercising

"My biggest regret is not getting into exercise earlier. I thought people only exercised to lose weight and I was convinced I was just meant to be overweight. In my 30s I discovered running and volleyball and now I’m fitter in my 40s than I was in my 20s. I wish I’d realised how much fun I could be having." — NeitherGur5003

"One of the most useful tools for me recently has been reframing exercise as movement. The word 'exercise' has a punishing connotation to me - it's a tool used to cudgel 'lazy' people. 'Movement,' however, is joyful and free-flowing. Movement can be running, lifting weights, dancing, yoga, stretching, scrubbing your bathroom, walking your dog, goofing off with your nieces and nephews, parkour, bike riding - whatever. Celebrating movement gets me to appreciate the power of my body and the pleasure of mobility. It helps me to focus on a healthier relationship with my body that emphasizes the long-term ability to inhabit and utilize this great, useful, electrified meat sack that requires nourishment and ongoing maintenance. Anyway, hope that helps you too." — BarnacledSeaWitch

5. Being a people pleaser

"This 10000000%. Can't help others if you don't take care of yourself first. Hugely with kids and parents. Parents are ineffective if they ignore their spouses and put all their energy into everything else and nothing into themselves and each other." — Slickpoison

6. Should have invested earlier

"Yes to investing. I'm close to retiring and don't have anywhere close to the amount that I'd like. I used to make fun of my brother for his frugality but it turns out I was the foolish one." — Scurtrberau

"Rule of 72- at 8% growth you’d see your money double in 9 years. Waiting a decade means you miss out on doubling that money. What’s worse is that you have a certain set number of doubling periods before retirement- 22-31, 31-40, 40-49, 49-58, 58-67 - 5 doubling periods. $1 put in at 22 is worth 25 = $32 at retirement." — Burnbabyburn11

7. Paid too much attention to parents

"I listened to my parents too much when I was younger." — Distressed_Finish

"My mother was never going to understand me or love me unconditionally, or see me as anything other than something to possess and control, and I wish I could have realized it and freed myself from her sooner." — FloraFly

8. Waiting too long to get sober

"I'm in my 40s now and pretty much drank my way through my 20s and early 30s. I got into the lifestyle of drinking with friends every day after work, then a big session Friday night and it was the norm for me, I pitied people who just went straight home from work. Now thinking of all the money I spent, the health implications, the general setting my life back by 15 years, I think I was the one that was pitiable." — Dave80

"Same. I was a casual/social drinker my entire 20s and early 30s, and I wish I was not. Life without alcohol is so much better." — Barhanita

9. Put more effort into friendships

"I wish I didn't let friendships die so easily. I'm 36 and you'd be surprised how fast you can go a decade without talking to someone you once saw every day." — NutellaBanabaBread

10. Missed opportunities with women

"Took me far too long to realise if I had just taken my shot, I most likely would have succeeded with a few of my crushes. But I am happy were I am now, but man some of those missed opportunities..." — Zeebie_

11. Smoking

"Wish I never would have touched a cigarette." — BlueStarSpecial

"This for sure, I smoked for 25 years, maybe 15 a day. At today's prices in the UK that amounts to around £82k or just over $100k." — Dave80

12. Self-loathing

"I regret the amount of time I spent hating my body. The self-loathing I had with my appearance consumed me, and now when I look back at photos of me in my twenties I just wish I could have seen how skinny I was." — Wetsummer486

13. Being a loyal employee

"Being loyal to a company and expecting to be rewarded later." — Pinkpujita

"Been job hopping every 2-3 years. New projects, more motivation, learning new stuff, most of the time with increased salary." — fr6nco

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Young woman surprised grandma for her birthday by dressing up like her and recreating her old photos

TikTok

All screenshots from @lakynbowman on TikTok.

It was Grandma’s 71st birthday, and granddaughter Lakyn Bowman came up with the cutest, cleverest and most thoughtful way to honor the occasion.

Bowman (@lakynbowman) shared in a TikTok video that after going through old photos, she realized just how much they both looked alike. And so, to thank grandma for passing down the good genes, she decided to recreate each signature look. After a few rounds with a curling iron, some pale blue eyeshadow, and throwing on some charming floral prints (plus some filter wizardry to give the pics that retro look) the resemblance is just uncanny.

People were delighted to see such a loving tribute. The video quickly racked up over 8 million views, with more than a few comments talking about how emotional the tribute made them. Can’t say I blame 'em.

Screenshot of a comment

Such a heartwarming tribute obviously moved some to tears.

TikTok

But how did grandma feel about it? Well, in a follow-up video, we see a genuine ear-to-ear smile. Suffice it to say, the idea was a hit.

As one person wrote to Bowman, “you’ll never be able to top this gift.”

It certainly helps that Bowman is vintage savvy. She even helps others find amazing secondhand items through her company Nine Oh Six. So getting the clothes and accessories was a piece of old-fashioned pineapple upside-down cake. And the results were just as sweet. Take a look below:

@lakynbowman Happy birthday, Grandma! Thanks for the good genes. 💕 #recreate#photoshoot #birthdayphotoshoot #vintage #grandma ♬ What Once Was - Her's
@lakynbowman

Reply to @katemason06 The audio didn’t save. 😭 But here’s her reaction. I love her so much! 💕

These videos are not only an instant dash of joy, it’s also a heartwarming reminder that our elders provide the prologue to our life stories. Honoring them can be as simple or creative as we want them to be, but be sure to include them. As we can see with this grandma-granddaughter duo, it’ll mean the world to them.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Science

Eye-opening video shows why 80 percent of Americans live east of this line

You'll never see the U.S. the same again.

via YouTube/RealLifeLore

There's a big change at the 98th meridian.

Have you ever wondered why the eastern half of the United States is densely populated while everything west of Omaha, save for a few metro areas, is no man’s land?

Most people would assume that it’s because people first settled in the east and moved west. Or, they may believe it’s because of the vast desert that takes up most of the southwest. Those are some decent reasons, but it’s a much more complicated issue than you'd imagine.

A 20-minute video by RealLifeLore explains how topography and rainfall have created what appears to be a straight line down the middle of the country on the 98th meridian that dictates population density. Eighty percent of Americans live on the east side of the line and just twenty percent to the west.

RealLifeLore is a YouTube channel that focuses on geography and topography created by Joseph Pisenti.

In the video, we see that several large cities border the American frontier—San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, Oklahoma City, Wichita, Omaha, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Fargo, as well as Winnipeg up in Canada. To the west of those cities? Not much until you reach western California and the Pacific Northwest.

Why? Watch:

The major reason why the population drastically changes is rainfall. It rains much more on the east side of the line versus the west. The reason for the drastic change in rainfall is that the Rocky Mountains create a colossal wall known as a rain shadow that prevents moisture from passing from the Pacific Ocean. This has created a large swath of dry land that’s not conducive to larger populations.

Though the eastern U.S. is more densely populated, it doesn't mean the west doesn't sometimes feel crowded, especially if you live in Los Angeles County. What side of the line are you on?

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Internet

Man praised for refusing to switch seats with a dad who was traveling alone with his daughter

He made the right decision.

Photo credit: Canva

Man praised for not switching seats with dad traveling with daughter

Airlines charge for everything but breathing nowadays so people tend to be protective of their seat assignments. They picked them with their own hands with their needs and preferences in mind before paying the extra money to confirm the seating. Choosing your own seat can range from $5-$80 extra per ticket depending on where in the cabin you choose to sit, barring first class options.

It's for this reason that people aren't keen on trading their seats with someone who chose to let the airline auto-assign a seat for them. This doesn't stop people from asking unsuspecting fellow travelers to swap seats with them, likely relying on the social pressure of the situation to coax a yes. But one man refused to be swayed, even when the other passenger points out that he would like to sit next to his minor daughter which may have been enough to encourage others to oblige the request.

The passenger who was being asked to move had already paid additional money to sit in an aisle seat he explains, "I always book an aisle seat. My company allows me to add the small surcharge for an aisle seat (it was $18). I sat early and this guy comes with his daughter. His daughter had the middle seat next to me. He had another middle seat elsewhere. He asked to switch with me. I said I would if he had an aisle seat. He said he has a middle seat."

Season 9 Ugh GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy

The middle seat is typically the least desirable seat due to being stuck between two other passengers, no designated armrest and nothing to comfortably lean your head on should you fall asleep. Waking up only to realize you've been asleep on a stranger's shoulder can make for an awkward interaction, so there's no surprise the man didn't want to trade seats with the dad on those details alone. But the man didn't choose the aisle seat because he was afraid of drooling on the shoulder of a fellow passenger.

"I said sorry, I am a big guy (6 feet, 260+ pounds), I am [un]comfortable in middle seat. It's a 4.5 hour flight," the befuddled passenger shares before adding. "I explained I am physically uncomfortable in the middle. The aisle gives me more room."

Giphy

One might think the interaction would end there but it didn't. According to the six-foot-tall man, the dad then involved a flight attendant to encourage him to give up his seat so the dad could sit next to his child. But the man continued to refuse the dad's request which resulted in the dad having to sit in his original seat and the teenage girl being seated next to the original man. He had no desire to be uncomfortable for a fairly long flight and while he was expecting for people to disagree with his actions, they were overwhelmingly on his side.

"You paid extra for that aisle seat, and it’s your comfort on a long flight. The guy should've booked better seats if he wanted to sit next to his daughter. Plus, it’s not your job to accommodate his poor planning," one person writes.

No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy

"If you want to sit together, pay for the seats. Good for you, people like that need to learn they cant have their cake and eat it too," someone else says.

"I hate it when a FA asks you to move one you've already said no. They should stand by their company who sold you the seat and reiterate that to the person asking," another chimes in.

pushing air travel GIFGiphy

"I’ve been in the situation traveling, when my kids were small and flights were canceled, etc. that we were seated separately. When you REALLY do NEED compassion, people are generally OK with it and they are understanding and will likely move if able. I’ve also raised my kids to be independent and as teenagers they would have been just fine. In a case where it really is a need (like a special needs teen), the airline owes its passengers some sort of a solution like upgrading an inconvenienced traveller," someone else adds.

The man does admit that maybe the dad assumed the solo traveler would be inappropriate with his daughter saying, "Maybe he thought I was some creeper? I AM NOT. I popped a prescription muscle relaxer, put on relaxing music on my earphones and zoned out." In the end the man did not give up his seat and the teen girl and her father were both fine sitting in the seats assigned to them.

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Health

33-year-old American expat shares how he lives a lavish life in Bali on less than $75 a day

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Life is bigger than the U.S.!

Dreaming about moving to another country and starting over is no longer just a dream for some people. A growing number of millennial expats are finding their American dream in another country. And they're taking to social media to invite us to follow their journeys. Living comfortably in America is merely a dream for most people, so seeing expats doing it in other countries is inspiring more people than ever to seek a better life than they can achieve in the United States elsewhere.

Influencer and educator Olumide Gbenro has made a life in Bali that would be unattainable to most Americans. When Gbenro was around 13, his family immigrated to Columbus, Ohio after living in London. Gberno spent the first six years of his life in his home country of Nigeria, so relocating was not new to him. Before deciding to leave it all behind as an adult, Olumide was on a different path. A path his parents had set before him, but one he didn't want to follow.

In 2016, Gberno graduated with two master’s degrees from San Diego State University. One master’s was in epidemiology and the other in behavioral sciences. The new graduate was primed to go on for his PhD just as his parents wanted, but enrolling in a PhD program meant traveling the world would be off the table and the soon to be expat wasn’t ready to give up on it. The choice then became to become a doctor or travel, and since traveling was in his blood it was a no-brainer.

Gberno told CNBC Make It, “All of my life, I just followed the rules, whether it was from my parents, religion or society,” he says. “But deep down I knew that if I took the position in the PhD program, I could never go back, I could never travel abroad...I’d be stuck to a lab, so I decided to say ‘no.’” Shortly after coming to the conclusion that a PhD wasn’t for him, he packed up his belongings and headed out of the country.

Olumide took some time in a few other locations before settling in Bali; the new expat first stopped in Berlin on a three month tourist visa, staying in hostels and couch surfing at friends' houses. Gberno didn’t have much savings when he left America, so not working wasn’t an option, and eventually he struck success with his online business in social media marketing. He was able to grow his Instagram following fairly quickly by posting photos of his adventures and dance videos. With a larger following, he started reaching out to other creators and businesses offering to help improve their social media strategy for the small fee of $250. Eventually, it enabled him to turn it into a lucrative business that helps sustain his lifestyle.

After Olumide’s three months in Berlin were up, he traveled to Mexico and then back to San Diego where he launched his business, Olumide Gbenro PR & Brand Monetization, in 2018. While scrolling through Instagram he saw a post from a friend visiting Bali at the time. The scenery appealed to him, so he decided to go. After many flights back and forth to Singapore and Malaysia to extend his visa 30 days at a time, he was granted an investors visa.

Gberno earns about $140,000 a year and his biggest expense is his rent and utilities which total $1,010 a month. He spends about $600 a month on take out and eating at restaurants and continues to travel at least once a month. Gberno told CNBC “I’m probably spending about the same amount of money I would each month if I was living in San Diego, but my quality of living is much higher,” he says. “I’m living a life of luxury.”

These expats make living abroad look like a feasible goal and for some it is. Be warned that following these adventurous souls on social media may make you want to pack a few bags and never look back.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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