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Family

People are sharing the parenting trends that absolutely ‘need to end now’

Here are 21 of the best responses.

parenting trends
via Pexels

Not all trends in parenting are a good thing

It’s tough to quantify whether today’s parents are stricter or more permissive than previous generations, but the overall sentiment seems to be that parents are more lenient than they were a few decades back.

A poll by YouGov found that younger Americans are more likely than their elders to have been raised by “not very strict” or “not at all strict” parents. Thirty-nine percent of under-30s say that their parents weren't very strict or not strict at all, compared to only 15% of over-65s.

Nicola Kraus, author of “The Nanny Diaries,” believes that it’s a natural outgrowth of the fact that we know a lot more about children than we did in the past.

“We are deeply aware that our children are cognizant, conscious humans in a way previous generations weren't aware. Children were treated like pets or-worse-release-valves for their parents' stresses and fears, then expected to magically transform into healthy, functional adults,” she writes.

But this change in parenting has encouraged other trends that many think are creating a greater number of entitled young adults who can’t fend for themselves. These days we have helicopter parents, bulldozer parents and dependent parents whose overinvolvement in their children’s lives renders them incapable of becoming fully integrated adults.

Reddit user u/qquackie asked the online forum "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?" and got an overwhelming number of responses from people who think that today's parents are raising entitled children.

Many of the responders think that parents are being too sensitive with their children and they don’t provide firm boundaries. They also think it’s a big problem for kids to think they’re the center of the universe.

Here are 21 of the most popular responses to the parenting question.

1. Pretending that not parenting is parenting

"I won't tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!' — StoicDonkey

2. ​Denying your kid any negative experiences or emotions

"They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle." — IAmRules

3. Fake “gentle parenting”

"You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions." — candianuk

4. Not setting clear boundaries

"You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences." — NorthWeight3580

5. The “bulldozer” parent

"The parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great." — spinefexmouse

6. Stage-mom syndrome

"Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society." — sweettooth_92

7. Nonstop supervision

"Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?" — ansibley

8. Not believing the teacher

"'My kid never lies to me.' Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing." — jdith123

9. "No talking back!"

"If this also counts... Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're 'talking back.' I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?" — EntryRepresentative5

10. Helicopter parenting

"Kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside on a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom." — Cat_Astrophe_X

11. Pushing them too hard

"Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once." — Oh-Oh-Ophelia

12. Tablets in public

"Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places." — StarrCreationsLLC

13. Potty training too late

"Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this. One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues. What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty. Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers. My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now." — cleaning-meaning

14. Kids on social media

"Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles." — AJSK18

15. Too much structure

​"I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!" — hausfrau224

16. Tablet addiction

"Constantly giving your kid(s) a tablet or cellphone to keep them busy because you can't be bothered to actually be a parent or pay attention to them." — ZRuneDemonX

17. Letting the kid make all the choices

"I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way." — cihojuda

18. Silence

"Saying 'what goes on in this house, stays in this house.' I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase." — Dixie_Maclant

19. Birthdays

"The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid. When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games. Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right? Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements." — littlebunsenburner

20. Parent, not friend

"Trying to be your kid's 'friend,' not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes." — DataPlenty

21. You're not special

"Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses." — AssistantToTheSensei


This article originally appeared on 2.20.23

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'It's all a lie': Woman who returned from Europe shares why life is much harder in the U.S.

Why work harder for a lower quality of life?

via Kayleigh Donahue/TikTok and Zeeshan Kundi/Pexels

Kayleigh Donahue explains the differences between the U.S. and Europe.

American-born TikTok user Kayleigh Donahue is going viral on the platform because of her unflinching take on why it was a mistake for her to move back to the U.S. after spending 4 years in Ireland.

She now lives in the Boston area.

Kayleigh moved back to the U.S. from Ireland to make more money, but that didn’t go as planned. Even though she got paid more, the cost of living was so much higher that she saved less money than she did in Ireland. She also missed the generous number of vacation days she got in Europe as compared to America.

@kayshaynee

popping off always #americanabroad #usavseurope #movingabroad #livingabroad #europevsamerica #fyp

“Basically, I really got sucked into the American Dream way of living when I was abroad, which is funny because I loved living abroad,” Kayleigh said. “But you know, making more money, that’s enticing. Good job, that’s enticing. It’s not true. It used to be. It definitely used to be. You could come here and make a ton of money, make a great life for yourself. But the younger generation today, in this country — screwed. It’s literally all a lie that is sold to you. It’s such a struggle, and the older generation doesn’t seem to see how much of a struggle it is for the younger generation here.”

In the end, who wants to work harder for a lower quality of life?

“Needless to say, I will most likely be moving back to Europe where 20-plus days of paid vacation a year is literally the law, and I will make less money, but somehow, you know, the cost of living is lower there and I can save more,” Kayleigh concluded the video.


This article originally appeared on 1.17.24

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Mom uses PowerPoint to give 'birds and the bees' talk to daughter in the most millennial way ever

Slide 1: “How Do I Know If I Like Someone?”

Photo credit: Canva

This is the talk we all need.

There are many ways for parents to have “The Talk” with their kids. Some might opt for a more casual setting to make the conversation a little less awkward, while others might need a little more structure to make sure all the necessary bases are covered.

Tamara Mason, aka @tamaramasn on TikTok, clearly falls into the latter category, in the absolute best way.

In a video captured by her friend, Mason is seen delivering an impeccably thorough (and dare I say…fun?) birds and the bees talk with her 14-year-old daughter via PowerPoint slideshow.

The Ted Talk level presentation, “Prepared & Presented by Mommy Featuring: Pops + Dr. Auntie Whitney” (Auntie Whitney is, presumably the friend filming) was truly something for the history books.

Mason’s audience of one was able to nosh on a array of yummy snacks while she covered a variety of subjects, such as “How Do I Know If I Like Someone,” “What Can Help You Not Have Sex Too Soon,”romantic vs platonic relationships, greens flags vs red flags, STDs vs STIs, and much, much more.

“Yes, I made an entire slideshow for the moment. Tell me you’re a millennial without telling me you're a millennial,” Mason quipped in her caption.

Watch:


@tamaramasn Hey everybody! So a couple of days ago my best friend posted about my presentation while I was having “the talk” with my 14 y/o. Yes, I made an entire slideshow for the moment. Tell me you’re a millennial without telling me you’re a millennial. 😏 Judge somebody else! 🗣️😂 BUT, since then I had over 40 DMs asking for a copy! I was not expecting this reaction at all lol. But y’all support my extra-ness and I love thattttt! Nevertheless, I know this is a sore subject for most but I’m a huge advocate for being honest with future young adults because that is how they learn the most, aside from watching us. So just for yall, I cleaned the slide deck up to make it gender neutral and wrote notes for what to say on each slide when you use ‘presenter view’. You can now purchase the Canva access link here for $15! https://strandswellness.etsy.com I did all of the work, you just present it to your teen(s) when you’re ready! 🫂 #thetalk #teenrelationships #birdsandbees #thebirdsandthebees #canvadownload #etsy #parents #guardians #youngadults #highschool #teens #teenagers #relationships ♬ original sound - Tamara Mason

Down in the comments, people were 1000% onboard with Mason’s creative approach.

“Teaching from a place of education and self-awareness instead of shame is what will set this next generation apart! They are going to amaze us all,” one viewer praised.

Many found it so refreshing against the nonexistent big talks of their own childhood.

“This is so smart!” one person shared. “As someone who didn’t grow up in a family where we discussed this, thank you for doing this for your daughter.”

Another echoed, “I need this talk.”

Due to an incredibly popular demand, Mason did end up making a $20 Canva template for other parents to use, which can be purchased on Etsy. While Mason knows “The Talk” is a sore subject among many parents, she is a “huge advocate for being honest with future young adults, because that is how they learn the most, aside from watching us.” And now, maybe it can be just a little bit easier.

Many resources suggest that discussing different age appropriate topics at various stages throughout their child’s development can also make things easier—both for the parents delivering the information and the kids processing it. And if semi-public speaking isn't’ your jam like it is Mason’s, maybe try out having the conversation in the car (more on that here).

Having "The Talk" is certainly not the most comfortable aspect of parenting (it is, after all, one of the most definitive ways we are shown that kids can't be kids forever). But it makes a huge difference in a kid's life for a parent to show up to offer knowledge on the subject in whatever way they can. This story is a perfect example of that.

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Pop Culture

Man's seemingly obvious 'dishwasher hack' is blowing everyone's minds

One man’s observation about his dishwasher may change the way you do dishes forever.

via Mike McLoughlin/Twitter

Mike McLoughlan realized something very important about his dishwasher.

No one likes doing the dishes, but the tedious chore is made much easier when using a dishwasher. However, an alarming amount of people have reported that their dishwashers can actually make the job harder because they don't properly fit their dishes.

And that's where Twitter user Mike McLoughlin (@zuroph) comes in.

Back in January, McLoughlin made an observation about his dishwasher that would change the way he does dishes forever. For a decade, the Irishman thought that the bottom rack of his washer simply was too small for his large dinner plates. Then he made an amazing discovery:

The tweet went totally viral, and was shared over 14,000 times. He even tweeted a picture to show just how much he could fit in the dishwasher now that he knows the racks are adjustable:

The "hack" (is it still called a hack if the appliance is doing what it is supposed to be doing?) blew people's minds:

But other people were basically like, "Seriously, dude?"

While a group of others tried to one-up McLoughlin with stories of their own:


Okay, go on and check your own dishwasher. You know you want to.


This article first appeared on 8.16.18.

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Internet

Man designs boxer briefs for his girlfriend to comfortably wear during her period

John King decided to do something for his girlfriend and women everywhere.

Photo credit: Canva

Man designs boxer briefs for girlfriend's period, women approve

Most women are going to get a period in their lifetime and with that comes the experience of the not so pleasant times of being born female. It's not a secret that periods are uncomfortable, there are even commercials about it and a trend of men trying on a simulator to get a more realistic experience of what menstrual cramps can feel like.

While most people can sympathize with the experience, there's not much they can do other than promise to always bring you chocolate and know what brand and type of menstrual products you use. It may seem small but those gestures can go a long way, especially when you're in pain or stuck at work with your last couple of sanitary products in tow.

But some partners go above and beyond when hearing monthly grievances, whether its taking on more duties in the home, running an epsom salt bath or, for one man, creating underwear specifically for his girlfriend to wear while on her period. Yep, you read that right.

John King, apparently the worlds best listener and problem solver, noted the complaints of his girlfriend when she would steal his boxer briefs and decided to do something about it. Not just for her but for women everywhere.

"My girlfriend would always steal my boxers because she thought they were comfortable but when it came around to that time of the month pads didn't fit right in them. They would shift around on the inside and be uncomfortable," King explains in one of his videos.

The boxers that King created not only provide a liftable piece of cotton material in the middle to securely attach the wings from pads, but they also include a small pouch for people to insert heating or cooling packs. It seems he has thought of everything, including making the entire boxer brief out of cotton so they can be worn daily and not just during a person's period.



King also offered education in one of his recent videos shared to social media after someone asks, "who wears pads after the age of 14?"

"Many women wear pads whether for postpartum reasons and incontinence reasons, cultural or religious views, sensory issues and so on," the creator replies.

Women in the comments are ecstatic about the possibilities with these underwear and the simple practicality of it.

One woman is thinking about unique hiding options, "So you’re saying I can sneak snacks in my undergarments!!! Finally!!!"

"Why is there so much shame about wearing pads? Some women just aren’t comfortable with tampons or reusable products. And those boxers look so comfortable," another person inquires.

Someone is ready to spend their paycheck, "the heating pad sold me. take my money!"

One important question asked and answered, "…and your gf hasn’t proposed after this? I’m confused. Well done, sir." King responded to this comment with a video sharing the night he proposed to his girlfriend. Though he may be officially off the market forever, his product can be found at Spicy Wear Clothing where he designs and sells more comfortable underwear options for women.

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Family

Dad asks for help after passing down 'embarrassing’ last name to his 3 kids

He’s petrified that they'll be bullied.

via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

A dad worries about his 3 kids.

Having an unusual name that is easy to make fun of can create a world of pain for children because it makes them an easy target for bullies. But that’s not where the pain ends. As adults, people may not have to deal with bullies, but they have to hear the same tired jokes over and over again. Further, studies show that people with unique last names have a harder time finding employment.

All in all, it’s just an extra burden that makes life unnecessarily challenging.

Some ask, ‘If your name causes much trouble, why not change it?’ However, our names are our connection to our family and history, so it can be hard to change something closely connected to our identities.

A dad on Reddit who believes that his last name is “embarrassing” wasn’t sure how to handle the situation with his children, so he reached out to the NameNerds forum on Reddit for advice.

“I have an embarrassing last name (Roach). It’s always bothered me throughout my childhood and adulthood,” the father wrote. “Now I have kids ages 14, 10, and 5. They’ve said that no one has ever really bullied them over their last name but I still feel bad. I know it’s too late to change their last name. Just seeking some advice or input from anyone who has an embarrassing last name and how they deal with passing the name onto their kids.”

The father began to feel insecure about his name after having children.

“I had accepted my last name and was fine with it. The woman I married accepted the last name too so we gave our kids the name. It was after I had kids that I started to think about it again and wondering about their experiences,” the father wrote.

upset dad, embarrassing names, redditA dad worried about his kids.via Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

The responses from fellow Redditors supported the father by saying that if the name isn’t affecting the kids, stop worrying about it. Many thought broaching the subject with his kids might worsen the situation.

“Don't borrow trouble,” one commenter wrote. “They don't seem to mind it and you've survived with it thus far, so what's the problem? I agree that Roach isn't the prettiest surname ever, but I've heard before so it doesn't seem that crazy to me.”

Another popular response was simple and to the point: “If they don’t feel bad, then don’t make it weird for them.”

One commenter said that by discussing the topic, he becomes the bully himself.

“If you mention it too much, you may give them the reason they don't currently have to feel insecure about it,” a commenter wrote. “You'd be the one making fun of them for their last name. You'd be their 1st bully. Don't be their 1st bully/the reason they have anxiety.”

“You clearly need to name them Papa,” another joked.

reddit, baby names, childA distracted girl ion school.via RDNE Stock project/Pexels

The father took the comments to heart and realized he should stop worrying about the family name. “I can’t tell if they feel bad or not, but they also don’t complain about it, so maybe that’s a sign that they’re ok,” he reasoned. “I’m probably overthinking it.”

The father’s dilemma is an excellent example of a common problem that many parents have: projecting their insecurities on their children.

"It is natural to worry about your children and have anxieties or worries about them. You want the best for them and do not want them to be burdened with the same issues you faced as a child. However, these thoughts and worries are your own, and you can protect your children from your own fears and concerns if you work on limiting your projection," Heather R. Hayes, LPCC, writes on her website.

Samantha Rodman, PhD, says the best way to stop projecting onto our kids is to realize when it’s happening and ask ourselves why. “Noticing this tendency in yourself is half the battle and the other half is actively engaging in self-talk that counters these negative assumptions,” she writes at HuffPost. “So, you say to yourself, ‘Why is this bothering me? What images or thoughts are running through my head?’”

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