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57-year-old former model Paulina Porizkova had the perfect response to ageist comment online

"We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better."

young hand beside an older hand in black and white
Photo by Malin K. on Unsplash

Paulina Porizkova took on a commenter who said she was in "pain" being "old and ugly."

Aging is a weird thing. From one perspective, it's something we should be grateful for. Few people would wish for the kind of short, uneventful life that would remove aging from the equation completely. The longer we live, the more we grow and learn and experience life, and "aging" is simply the mathematical sum of those experiences. All good, right?

On the other hand, American society does everything in its power to stop and even reverse aging. Especially when it comes to women. According to Statista, the global anti-aging beauty market is estimated to be worth $58.8 billion. People will try all manner of creams, serums, masks, acids, lights, technologies, and surgeries to try to prevent wrinkles, lines, sagginess, spots and other signs that our bodies are changing with time.

Most of us live our daily lives somewhere in the middle of these two realities, wanting to embrace our aging selves but also hoping to stave off some of the more obvious signs that we're getting older. It's natural to resist it in some ways. The older we get, the closer we're moving to the end of our lives, which we don't want to hasten for plenty of reasons: love for family, friends, relationships, adventures, food, etc. Plus, that reality can cause us some anxiety.

While Fear of Getting Old (FOGO) is real, it can be helpful to see people gracefully embracing their age. Case in point: former supermodel Paulina Porizkova who confidently shared photos of her 57-year-old self on social media 2022.


Porizkova shared a photo of herself in a bikini and a screenshot of a comment made by a person who felt the need to critique her aging body. And phew, was it something. The commenter wrote:

"You must be in so much pain to keep posting bikini pictures at your age. I've always thought that getting old and ugly is hardest on the pretty people. The fall from grace is so much farther when you were beautiful. Ugly people were always ugly so getting old and ugly isn't a change. In summary, I feel your pain. I pray you can come to terms with your mortality. We all get old and ugly…you just had to fall from a greater height than the rest of us. Tears Times Infinity!"

So many things to unpack here. First of all, the comment is weird. Second of all, it's rude. Third of all, it's clearly ageist, which, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) is "one of the last socially acceptable prejudices." Yikes.

Porizkova shared her thoughts on the comment on Instagram.

"Here’s a good follower comment- echoing a few others," Porizkova wrote. "A woman of 57 is 'too old' to pose in a bikini - no matter what she looks like. Because 'Old' is 'Ugly.' I get comments like these every time I post a photo of my body. This is the ageist shaming that sets my teeth on edge. Older men are distinguished, older women are ugly."

"People who believe prettiness equals beauty do not understand beauty," she continued. "Pretty is easy on the eyes, partly because it’s a little bland, inoffensive. It’s easy to take in and easy to forget. Not so beauty. Beauty can be sharp. It can wound you and leave a scar. To perceive beauty you have to be able to SEE."

"This is why I believe we get more beautiful with age," she added. "We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better. There is no such thing as ugly and old. Only shortsighted and ignorant."

On X (formerly Twitter), Porizkova was a bit more sarcastic, writing, "Thank you for feeling my pain, rickaroo777. As you can see, I’m suffering indeed."

That tongue-in-cheek response prompted others to share their aging selves in photos, sharing how their "old and ugly" phase of life is going. The thread turned into a veritable celebration of middle-to-late age, with posts about how much more comfortable people feel in their bodies as they get older and the freedom that comes along with not caring what other people think.

You suffer beautifully

There are two big ironies with the original trolling comment. Most obviously, Porizkova obviously looks freaking amazing in a bikini, so the whole "ugly" and "fall from grace" line of thought is objectively off base. The second is that if you look through Porizkova's Instagram feed, she doesn't pose in bikinis very often at all. It's not like she's plastering her bikini selfies all over social media trying to feel better about herself, as the commenter implies. She just…sometimes wears a bikini. Whoop dee doo.

People don't have to wear bikinis if they don't want to. But to tell strangers what they can wear crosses a line. All bodies are bikini bodies, and if the person in the body wants their body to be in a bikini, more power to them.

The "suffering" and "pain" in the posts were so funny to see.

The thread brought inspiration to those who may fall prey to the idea that people shouldn't wear certain things after a certain age or that only people with certain body sizes or shapes should wear certain things.

The hashtag #oldandugly started trending as people responded to Porizkova's call for a celebration of aging beautifully.

"Todays thread has been my absolute favorite of all time," Porizkova wrote on Twitter. "Thank you all you 'old and ugly' women (and a few men) showing the world how much we 'suffer' at in our old age. You’re all breathtaking!"

May we all age beautifully and gracefully in whatever way those words are meaningful to us, and show those who think that aging means "suffering" and "pain" due to being "old and ugly" that they have no idea what they're talking about.

(And here's an extra shout-out to Porizkova for using her beauty and her age to make an important point—not only about celebrating getting older, but also about how propaganda works. Brava.)


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Pop Culture

William Shatner describes the profound grief he felt when he finally went to space for real

The OG Captain Kirk's real-life space experience holds important lessons for us all.

"William Shatner" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

William Shatner's trip to space wasn't what he expected.

Statistically speaking, the number of humans who have traveled into space is insignificant. But the experience of leaving our home planet and venturing into the great beyond is incredibly significant for the individuals who have actually done it.

One of those fortunate humans is actor William Shatner, who spent three years pretending to hurtle through space in his iconic role as Captain James T. Kirk on the original "Star Trek" series. As captain of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk was dedicated to exploring "strange new worlds," seeking out "new life and new civilizations" and boldly going "where no man has gone before."

Naturally, Shatner has spent a lot of time pondering what it would be like to actually experience leaving Earth, and when he took the opportunity to join Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin trip to space in October 2021 at age 90, he was able to compare how his expectations met up with reality.

Shatner shared an excerpt from his new book with Variety, and it reveals that his initial reaction to being in space was surprisingly dark.

"I love the mystery of the universe," Shatner wrote. "I love all the questions that have come to us over thousands of years of exploration and hypotheses. Stars exploding years ago, their light traveling to us years later; black holes absorbing energy; satellites showing us entire galaxies in areas thought to be devoid of matter entirely… all of that has thrilled me for years…"

However, as he looked out the window of the spacecraft—a real one, not a screen on a film set—and looked in the direction opposite Earth, "there was no mystery, no majestic awe to behold," he wrote. "All I saw was death. I saw a cold, dark, black emptiness. It was unlike any blackness you can see or feel on Earth. It was deep, enveloping, all-encompassing."

As he turned back toward "the light of home," he saw the opposite. "I could see the curvature of Earth, the beige of the desert, the white of the clouds and the blue of the sky. It was life. Nurturing, sustaining, life. Mother Earth. Gaia. And I was leaving her."

Then he had a stunning revelation: "Everything I had thought was wrong. Everything I had expected to see was wrong."

Again, this is a man who has spent much of his life thinking about space—not as an astronaut or astronomer or astrophysicist, but as a human being stuck on the Earth's surface, struck with wonder about what's out there. He explained what he had been wrong about:

"I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film 'Contact,' when Jodie Foster’s character goes to space and looks out into the heavens, she lets out an astonished whisper, 'They should’ve sent a poet.' I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound.

"It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered. The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna . . . things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind. It filled me with dread. My trip to space was supposed to be a celebration; instead, it felt like a funeral."

Shatner explained how this "sense of the planet’s fragility takes hold in an ineffable, instinctive manner" for many astronauts when they view Earth from orbit. It's part of the "overview effect"—the profound shift in perspective that comes with seeing our collective home from a distance. With no visible borders between nations or peoples, it becomes clear that our divisions are all manmade, which can change the way we view humanity as a whole.

The experience left Shatner with renewed conviction to focus on what we share in common.

"It reinforced tenfold my own view on the power of our beautiful, mysterious collective human entanglement," he wrote, "and eventually, it returned a feeling of hope to my heart. In this insignificance we share, we have one gift that other species perhaps do not: we are aware—not only of our insignificance, but the grandeur around us that makes us insignificant. That allows us perhaps a chance to rededicate ourselves to our planet, to each other, to life and love all around us. If we seize that chance."

Just beautiful. Since most of us will never leave Earth, we can take inspiration from those who have, acknowledge our essential oneness and do everything in our power to protect our beautiful, life-giving home.

Shatner shares more of his reflections on life on this planet and beyond in his most recent book, "Boldly Go: Reflections on a Life of Awe and Wonder."


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Modern Families

'It's never too late': 19-year-old who aged out of foster care adopted by her caseworker

"We're so happy; we both wanted this for so long."

via ABC Action News

It's never too late to find your family. That's the heartwarming message being shared by Leah Paskalides and the daughter she adopted in 2021, then-19-year-old Monyay. At the age of 11, Monyay was placed into a foster care group home. The pain of having to go through life without a family was always difficult, but it hit hard in her senior year of school. "My senior year is when I went through one of those, 'I don't want to do it anymore, I'm done,'" she told ABC News.

Monyay finished school a year early and took the extra time to focus on volunteering with foster children like her. But she faced a tough road ahead, as she was about to age out of the system. According to the Children's Home Society of Minnesota, the 23,000 children who age out of foster care every year without families face many challenges. Only 3% earn a college degree, half will develop a substance abuse problem, 60% of boys are convicted of crimes, and 70% of girls become pregnant before the age of 21.

After she turned 18, it looked like she would have to enter the real world as an adult without any real support. But then her caseworker and mentor from the Safe Children Coalition stepped up.

Leah had always wanted to adopt Monyay but it was a conflict of interest with her work.

"She always said, 'I wish you could adopt me, wish you could adopt me,' and I couldn't because of the job and then I was watching a documentary where the person had been adopted as an adult, and I had never really heard of it," Leah said.

So she decided to adopt Monyay as her adult daughter. "It was important to me that she knew that she was wanted by somebody, that somebody loved her," Leah told Fox 13. "I could say that as many times as I want, but actions speak louder than words."

On Tuesday, a judge signed the paperwork making the adoption official.

Rose Rising on Twittertwitter.com

"Being told 'no' so many times, to hear that 'yes' and to hear them pronounce her as my mom, it's something that's like, oh my gosh, this is for real," Monyay told Fox 13.

The funny thing is the two didn't hit it off at first. Five years ago when Leah was assigned her case, Monyay didn't like her. "She told me what she was going to be doing and helping me out with my case, and I didn't like her; she'll tell you that," said Monyay.

But over the past five years, the two forged an unbreakable bond.

"She was very motivated and had aspirations for a future, and so I knew she just needed support," Leah said. "She was always a kid that did not deserve to go through life without a support system of a family."

The newly-formed family is sharing their story to bring hope to children in the foster care system by letting them know they can be adopted as adults. "It's never too late because I'm grown but I'm still being adopted," Monyay said. "Just because it didn't happen then it doesn't mean that it won't happen."

Monyay hopes to one day open her own group home for teens to help children who grew up like she did.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Parenting

Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers.

Photo by April Walker on Unsplash
Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers. Not only do they spend all day with kids, but teachers get to know their students' parents pretty well, too. From parent-teacher conferences to field trips and snack days, it's a collaborative relationship meant to foster their child's development. (And let's be real: what parent hasn't gotten a call from their child's teacher to discuss their *questionable* behavior in the classroom?)

Teachers are full of wisdom about kids, which is why TikToker @elenanico22 interviewed her mom Lisa, a retired elementary school teacher, in an advice video. She asked her mom to share her insights on the question: "What's one thing you saw people messing up with their kids?"

And her response was simple: "They didn't enjoy them." Elena asks her mom to elaborate, and she goes on to share, "Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have."

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

Of course, Lisa fully accepted her own daughter, and turns to Elena in the video and says, "I enjoyed you."

And the comments were flooded with positive replies from parents to her response. "Kids aren’t a chore, they’re a joy. 🥰," one wrote. Another added, "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by."

ParentsKids Love GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

The post also resonated with other teachers and professionals who work with kids. "This is so true. I work in childcare and lots of parents literally cannot stand their kids. They get so angry when we close. They can’t wait to drop them off and pickup last minute. Breaks my heart," one commented. Another wrote, "Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes." And another teacher chimed in with, "So true. As a elementary teacher sometimes playing Barbie Dreamhouse with my 4 y/o is the last thing I want to do but I always do because I know I'll be wishing for it one day ♥️." And another professional shared, "As a pediatrician, I agree."

The video concluded with another piece of strong advice from Lisa, who also dropped this nugget: "Never send your kid to school with carrots." The reason? She explained a story involving a prominent doctor at her school who was "super strict" with what his kids could and could not eat at school.

Carrotshamster GIFGiphy

"So of course what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't," she said. "You are bound to have kids who are going to have food issues."

And plenty of parents offered their thoughts on this. "Omg I love her! Please post more. As a mom I’m enjoying time with my kids, loving their personalities and so anti food restriction teaching them intuitive eating. Because I wasn’t taught those things," one commented. Another shared, "The food statement is so true. My son shared that a boy from his class (who has food restrictions) steals the other kids snacks at school! 🙈❤️😂"

Pop Culture

Researchers found the most effective way to stop misinformation online and it's pretty simple

It's called 'pre-bunking.'

via Tim Dennell/Flickr

New research shows how to fight misinformation.

The rise of misinformation on social media has been a monumental stress test for the world’s critical thinking skills. Misinformation has had a huge influence on elections, public health and the treatment of immigrants and refugees across the world. Social media platforms have tried to combat false claims over the past few years by employing fact-checkers, but they haven’t been terribly effective because those who are most susceptible to misinformation don’t trust fact-checkers.

“The word fact-checking itself has become politicized,” Cambridge University professor Jon Roozenbeek said, according to the Associated Press. Further, studies show that when people have incorrect beliefs challenged by facts, it makes them cling to their false assumptions even harder. These platforms have also attempted to remove posts containing misinformation that violates their terms of service, but this form of content moderation is often seen as insufficient and is often applied inconsistently.

via Mattias Berg/Flickr

How do we combat dangerous misinformation online if removing false claims or debunking them hasn’t been effective enough? A new study published in the journal Science Advances by a team of university researchers and Jigsaw, a division of Google, has found a relatively simple solution to the problem they call “pre-bunking.”

Pre-bunking is an easy way of inoculating people against misinformation by teaching them some basic critical thinking skills. The strategy is based on inoculation theory, a communication theory that suggests one can build resistance to persuasion by exposing people to arguments against their beliefs beforehand.

The researchers learned that pre-bunking was effective after conducting a study on nearly 30,000 participants on YouTube.

“Across seven high-powered preregistered studies including a field experiment on YouTube, with a total of nearly 30,000 participants, we find that watching short inoculation videos improves people’s ability to identify manipulation techniques commonly used in online misinformation, both in a laboratory setting and in a real-world environment where exposure to misinformation is common,” the recently published findings note.

The researchers uploaded videos into YouTube ad slots that discussed different types of manipulative communication used to spread false information such as ad hominem attacks, false dichotomies, scapegoating and incoherence.

Here’s an example of a video about false dichotomies.

Researchers found that after people watched the short videos, they were significantly better at distinguishing false information than they were before. The study was so successful that Jigsaw is looking to create a video about scapegoating and running it in Poland, the Czech Republic and Slovakia. These countries are all combating a significant amount of false information about Ukrainian refugees.

There’s an old saying, “If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach that man to fish and he’ll eat forever.” Pre-bunking does something very similar. We can either play a game of whack-a-mole where social media platforms have to suss out misinformation on a minute-by-minute basis or we can improve the general public’s ability to distinguish misinformation and avoid it themselves.

Further, teaching people to make their own correct decisions about misinformation will be a lot more effective than pulling down content and employing fact-checks. These tactics only drive vulnerable, incredulous people toward misinformation.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Pop Culture

Mom realizes she's been duped by her 'sick' 5-year-old once she grabs a microphone

Sickness gone. Concert, on.

@dyweeeez/Instagram

Ah, the healing power of music.

Parents, is this situation relatable, or is it relatable? A mom named Dymond Edwards recently shared the impromptu serenade session given to her by her 5-year-old daughter Aryn Dennis after she was picked up early from school for having a "stomach ache.”

As we can clearly see in the Instagram clip, the supposed tummy issue is nowhere to be found as little Aryn, TV remote as a microphone in hand, belts out ROSÉ and Bruno Mars’ “APT” like she was performing at Madison Square Garden.

It’s hard to tell which is more funny, Aryn's unapologetic mic drop at the end, or Edwards’ face throughout…which is the face every parent has made at least once after realizing they were just duped by their kiddo.

Watch, and prepare for cuteness overload with those adorable “Apa tapa tays”:

Talk about a miraculous recovery! However, as many noted in the comments section, Aryn very well could have been feeling anxiety, which manifested in stomach pain. As one person put it, “Maybe the stomachache was anxiety. Now she’s where she is comfortable and she belongs. Stomachache gone.”

Another echoed, “Tbh it’s like when you have a headache at work but as soooon as you home you realise work was the headache ../”

Others were quick to defend the little one, who might have just needed a mental health day. One person shared, “I did this once for a ‘headache’ my mama knew I was lying but picked me up anyway & took me to McDonald’s back when they had the play place w/ the ball pit & to Barnes & Noble & read me books. In my 30s & still a fond memory.”

So who knows? Maybe there was never a tummy ache, but it's certainly going to be a sweet memory to hold onto, especially since it was all caught on tape.

And of course, there were plenty of comments that were just pure comedy:

“Singing is healing 😂”

“She left the stomach ache at school.”

“My mama would’ve took me right back! 😂😂”

“Stomach ache not mouth ache. Sing princess.”

“She looked around at school and said ‘that’s enough today-ing here for today.’”

“Is the stomach ache in the room with us?”

“As your daughter’s attorney she won’t be answering any more questions.”

“The stomach ache was the stage fright for this concert she knew she was gon be puttin on😂😂😂😂”

Whether it was because of actual stomach cramps, mental overload, or because she was just done with “todaying,” this little girl needed a break. Kudos to mom for giving her that…Hopefully next time it won’t mean disrupting the workflow with a living room concert.

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