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Mom has a different take for the millennial parents 'always on their phone'

It's pretty spot on.

parenting, parents on phones, phone addiction
@sheisapaigeturner/TikTok

Maybe there's more to it than "bad parenting."

Unless you've been living on a remote, deserted island, you’re probably addicted to your phone. We’ve all been guilty of ignoring someone right in front of us because of text or a notification. It’s so common we even have a word for it: “phubbing.”

But parental phubbing, while just as prevalent as ordinary phubbing, is often seen as more than just a social faux pas. And this perhaps isn’t totally without merit, since research has shown that kids do in fact feel the effects of being ignored in this way.

And yet, as one mom eloquently points out, we can’t just chalk it up to “bad parenting.”

“I was just at my son's Taekwondo practice, and I'd say 75% of the parents are on their phones, right?” Paige Turner, a mom of four, says in a clip posted to her TikTok.

She continues: “And I have seen a lot of commentary about how parents are always on their phones, right? Parents are always texting. They're not watching their kids. They're not seeing how great their kids doing during Taekwondo or baseball or gymnastics, whatever it is. They're just too busy on their phone and why can't they just take a break and look up?”

And this is where Turner offers her alternate, but so spot on take.

“I think the average parent is being asked to do a lot, right? They are working full-time. There's a lack of childcare, so oftentimes, these parents are not only on their phones, I sit next to parents who are on their laptops at Taekwondo practice because we are technically still working, right?” she says.

Since most parents are technically still on the clock by the time an afternoon practice rolls around, of course they’re “Slacking on their phone. They're answering emails. Sometimes, they're even listening to a call,” Turner explains.

So maybe it’s not just about being present with their kids but about parents having to be on call 24/7.

“In an ideal world, our kids would have practices and games at times that allowed us to be fully present,” Turner says. But in reality, “we are being asked to go in many different directions right now, and so many of us don’t have that luxury.”

Turner also points out that the obligation to be at every practice or game is a fairly new concept, parents used to simply drop kids off and pick them up once whichever activity was over.

“We are being asked not only to do more physically: be at every practice, be at every game, volunteer, work full-time, pick up your kids from the bus stop, all these things. We're also being asked to be fully present for all of it, which is impossible,” she notes.

@sheisapaigeturner As parents, we need to be conscious of one and how we use our phones. However, a lot of the critique online specifically about parents being on their phone I could activities is likely missing the full picture. Many parents are multitasking. They are working while at basketball, they are ordering groceries while at dance practice. They are doing many things at one time and juggling all of it as soon as they can. #millennailmom #sportsmom #parentingadvice #socialmedia #workingmom #wfhmom #workingparent ♬ original sound - Paige

Turner concludes by sharing that she posted this perspective to offer some grace against the common “ugly narrative” that parents are simply not paying attention to their kids when parents are most likely doing the very best that they can.

Several parents agreed with Turner and added their own takes on the issue.

“The idea that we have to be present every single second of our child’s life is just INSANE. Especially coming from the ‘go outside and don’t come back until dark’ generation,” one person wrote.

Another added, “also, my phone is where I schedule appointments, order groceries, order prescriptions, fill out forms for all the things, research therapists and camps and doctors and adhd, & I’m a grad student.”

A few even pointed out that even when they aren’t working, phone use during practice shouldn’t be considered taboo.

“Even if you AREN’T working or doing something productive on your phone. Why would I want to watch soccer drills for an hour? Let me play candy crush in peace lol,” one person quipped.

Another seconded, “I’m absolutely not working but I’m using the opportunity of my child being fully engaged with an activity to freaking relax a little. I don't have to just sit and watch them 24/7 to have a relationship.”

Bottom line: of course, it’s important for parents to be mindful of their phone usage, especially when around kids. But our world makes that nearly impossible, and passing judgment on the moms and dads who do find themselves scrolling isn’t of help to anyone. A little compassion can go a long way here.

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Culture

Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Community

Pittsburgh man pays inner city high school football players for good grades to help community

One high schooler takes three buses several days a week just to train with him.

Photos courtesy of Roland Johnson

Pittsburgh man pays youth football players for good grades.

You don't need a Mister Rogers personality to work with kids and instill something good into your community. Sometimes all it takes is a little determination, a dream, and people who believe in your mission—but it's not always easy to get the latter. Pittsburgh road construction worker and father of three, Roland Johnson, has been working double duty for years.

Roland is not just fixing potholes and repaving roads—though there are plenty of days where he's working overtime there too. His second job is one born of passion, empathy, and abundant acts of kindness. Since around 2019, he's been helping youth football players with agility, strength, and endurance trainings along with the other basics of football through his small business, Monstarz Athletics. Offering private training sessions to families of kids who dream of going pro can be lucrative, especially in a city like Pittsburgh where the unofficial slogan is, "We're a beer town with a football problem."

But Johnson isn't collecting big bucks from wealthy families and school districts. In fact, the former high school star often takes money from his own pocket to cover costs. It's not how he initially intended his business to run. "Multiple kids reached out to me and their parents just didn’t have the money," Johnson told Upworthy. "Sometimes the kids or parents would show up with extra kids but didn't have any money to practice and I couldn’t turn them down. You know, I wasn't just going to let them watch while other kids were getting in work."

Johnson laughs while reminiscing before adding, "One kid would catch three PAT [Port Authority Transit] buses to get to me and get dropped off on the highway and walk to the gym to work out with me. It dang near made me cry when I found out."

There was a stark difference between working with kids from wealthier neighborhoods and kids from the inner city. Johnson explains that the former would often be inconsistent with training sessions, often dropping off once they learned whatever skill they were wanting to learn. In contrast, the kids from the inner city who couldn't pay much showed up to every training giving everything they could to the game. This is where the disadvantages became visible.

The kids that poured all they could onto the field weren't getting seen by recruiters for colleges. According to Johnson, not every kid plays on a good team and college recruiters don't always come out to the more disadvantaged neighborhoods. Johnson recalls a time when he was at a high school football game with some of his players when shots rang out and chaos ensued. Thankfully no one inside the stadium was injured, but the incident made it more imperative for him to get his trainees to the college camps to "put them in positions to be seen more by recruiters and stuff like that."

football, inner-city youth, youth sports, communityJohnson poses with some of his kids.Photos c/o Rolan Johnson

While football is the reason kids initially come to see him, Roland offers them much more. Many of the boys and some girls he works with don't have positive male figures in their lives to learn from. so his mentorship extends beyond the field.

"The most rewarding thing isn’t even the athletic side of it, it’s the young man development side. The way they approach me. The gratification of seeing the young boys evolve into more mature men. There was a kid that quit right after the Florida championships and his teammates reached out because they knew something was up with him. I reached out to him on his Instagram and he was back in the streets. We talked and I encouraged him to straighten up. That there was more than the streets. Some kids are just more hardheaded...found out he got back on the team at the start of the season. Missed the whole summer of practices but he's back on the field now."

In an effort to keep kids on the field and in the books instead of on the streets, Johnson pays the high schoolers a stipend—but there's a catch before the stipend kicks in: you have to have a 3.0 GPA. Once they have a 3.0, he then pays them, "I pay per 'A.' So every 'A' you show me on your report card you get paid. For every touchdown, you get paid."

Johnson says the stipends come from his own paychecks from his day job, but it's important for him to provide this particular incentive for the kids. "It’s motivation. ‘It’s time to be a nerd, I can be a nerd for some money real quick.’ Your grades are coming up so every semester your GPA is looking better. Ain’t nothing like having money in your pocket when you’re out with the homies and you can afford to buy you and your homies something to drink. It makes you feel good about yourself and gives you extra confidence. It makes you feel like you’re on a different level," Johnson explains happily.

Currently, Monstarz Athletics is fundraising to send 11 high schoolers to college football camps at reduced rates. College football camps are always top priority for upperclassmen players because "that’s where coaches can see how you perform in competition, not just perform in skill drills," notes Johnson. "They also get the opportunity to see them one on one. More opportunities for scholarships too."

One of the main fundraisers is their GoFundMe page, but Johnson is looking into ways to sponsor individual players and prepare sponsorship packages to send out to businesses. While he loves being there for the players, he knows it's not a feat he can take on without the occasional help of donations from those also hoping to make a difference in the lives of others.

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Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

@JessicaHiggs3/TikTok

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Modern Families

Grandpa makes a compelling case for no unannounced visits from grandparents

"…some of us might be crossing that line a little bit.”

@legacyofagrandpa/Instagram

Why that surprise visit might not be the gift you're hoping to bestow.

It’s a bittersweet situation for many adults—you live close enough to your own parents that grandma and grandpa can help out with the kids from time to time. On the one hand, you’ve got the luxury of a village at your disposal. Holidays are a cinch. Yay. But with that close proximity also comes blurry boundaries, which can take on the form of “surprise” grandparent visits during the most inopportune times.

Which brings us to the question: should grandparents be able to drop by unannounced in the first place? If you ask grandfather of two Rick Cognata, who regularly posts grandparent related content on his "Legacy Of A Grandpa" Instagram account, you’ll get a pretty definitive answer.

In a recent video, Cognata shared why making a call first might be a better move, explaining how well it works for his own kids.

“I am on my way to my daughter’s house and guess what? I called first,” Cognata began. “I said, ‘Hey, do you mind if I come over? I’m missing them. I just want to pop over. I’ll bring some food, whatever.’”

While this time Cognata's daughter gave the okay, in the past she’s also told him “No Dad, today is not a good day.” And offering up this bit of autonomy can make all the difference in a grandparent-parent dynamic. Though Cognata shared that it’s not quite the norm.

“I see a lot with my friends that this presents a problem with ... us grandparents ... that just pop over. Like, ‘This is my kid, they live around the corner from me, I will pop over when I want. My parents did it to me and I do it to them.’”

Photo credit: Canva

Cognata concluded by saying that of course, the drop in policy will differ from family to family, but in his own observation, “I hear a lot of my friends’ children saying, ‘I wish they would call.’”

“So that’s all I’m saying ... some of us might be crossing that line a little bit.”

By and large, folks generally seemed to agree with Cognata’s stance.

“Totally agree it’s called respect as our children are now adults themselves. ❤️

“🙌 I ALWAYS make contact first. They are a separate family unit to us and have their own life and routines. This has to be respected 🙌❤️🙌❤️🙌”

“Agreed! Your kids are now your friends and they deserve your respect. Not everyone is up for company ( family) at any given time. They need to have their own space and decide when the timing is right. I expect the same from them. It works beautifully that way! ❤️”

Still, others felt the rule to be unnecessary.

“It’s sad that family can’t pop over like it was when I grew up. But once an adult child gets married we have to respect how they want to live.”

“When I was younger and into my early married life, we would pop over to people's houses all the time. I think it's a southern thing.”

Photo credit: Canva

Whether or not you totally agree with Cognata’s opinion on this particular topic, it’s easy to see how it brings up a broader shift in how we approach family dynamics. Terms like “boundaries” certainly weren’t as mainstream when we (or our parents) were growing up, and it’s still relatively new territory for everyone. That’s why having open conversations, even online ones, can be pivotal for gaining perspective and possibly finding an approach that’s a win win for everyone.

By the way, Cognata has all kinds of grandparent-related discussions on his Instagram, which you can find here.

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Popular

Neil deGrasse Tyson posted a gym selfie in a muscle shirt and people  are loving it

"A physicist thirst trap is the pleasant surprise I didn't know I needed."

commons.wikimedia.org

Neil deGrasse Tyson in a visit to NASA

For most of us, National Pi Day (March 14th, of course) came and went without much fanfare. Maybe a few show-offs recited the famous 3.14 number to as many decimals as they could remember, or someone whipped up a blueberry pie in a punny homage. But if you happened to open Facebook and follow astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, you were in for a unique surprise.

First, some might ask: what is pi? In the piece, "What is Pi, and How Did it Originate" by Steven Bogart for Scientific American, he explains, "Succinctly, pi—which is written as the Greek letter for p, or π—is the ratio of the circumference of any circle to the diameter of that circle. Regardless of the circle's size, this ratio will always equal pi. In decimal form, the value of pi is approximately 3.14."


Pie Pi Day GIF by PusheenGiphy

Here's Neil on TikTok with a cute video in anticipation of Pi Day. In its description, he writes, "We're just a few days away from #PiDay. Here's a friendly reminder to share with your friends along with a few jokes to use this year:

Why should you never start talking to pi at a party? Because it just goes on forever. What did pi say to its sweetheart? You look radian today. What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert? Apple pi."

@neildegrassetyson

We're just a few days away from #PiDay 🤓 Here's a friendly reminder to share with your friends along with a few jokes to use this year: 🥧 Why should you never start talking to pi at a party? Because it just goes on forever. What did pi say to its sweetheart? You look radian today. What was Sir Isaac Newton’s favorite dessert? Apple pi.


Over on Facebook on March 13th, he shared a photo of the moon, and in a separate post, a little more information and some fun recommendations about Pi. "Pi Day (3.14) Pi has a few more digits than that. But 3.14 can get you far. Wanna get your geek on? Celebrate at 1:59:26. That gets you 3.14 1:59:26, the first seven decimal places of Pi."

The next morning, around dawn Pacific Standard Time, Neil changed his profile picture to one in which he's wearing a sleeveless muscle shirt, standing in front of a mirror at what appears to be a gym. Yes, Neil gave us a gym selfie, and why wouldn’t he?

selfie gym GIFGiphy

His followers seemed delighted, with the comments reflecting a balanced mix of good humor and earnest compliments. In one of the top comments, someone wrote, "A physicist thirst trap is the pleasant surprise I didn’t know I needed. You’re in fine form, sir." Yet another seemed (jokingly) threatened: "Damn bro, save some science for the rest of us."

This person disagreed that Neil was seeking validation: "I don't know why, but I just cannot make myself see this as a thirst trap. I know you weren't even meaning it in a bad way, but he is just so humble that anything like this just somehow makes him more human and accessible. Like he's having a confident day and wants to commemorate it."

A few people really honed in on how toned his muscles are. "Neil DeGuns Tyson," one person exclaimed, while another wrote, "Don't forget, he was a high school wrestler. The muscle never completely goes away."

Neil Degrasse Tyson Whatever GIFGiphy

This commenter was perhaps referring to Neil's propensity to debate: "Feelin' cute. May agitate some astrologers later. Idk."

And lastly, this person was hopeful that the photo is the start of a training montage: "Please tell us you're training for Cosmos Season 3.... we need this!"

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