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Over or under? Surprisingly, there actually is a 'correct' way to hang a toilet paper roll.

Let's settle this silly-but-surprisingly-heated debate once and for all.

toilet paper hung over and under
Elya/Wikimedia Commons

Should you hang the toilet paper roll over or under?

Humans have debated things large and small over the millennia, from the democracy to breastfeeding in public to how often people ought to wash their sheets.

But perhaps the most silly-yet-surprisingly-heated household debate is the one in which we argue over which way to hang the toilet paper roll.

The "over or under" question has plagued marriages and casual acquaintances alike for over 100 years, with both sides convinced they have the soundest reasoning for putting their toilet paper loose end out or loose end under. Some people feel so strongly about right vs. wrong TP hanging that they will even flip the roll over when they go to the bathroom in the homes of strangers.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely an inconsequential preference. There is actually a "correct" way to hang toilet paper, according to health experts as well as the man who invented the toilet paper roll in the first place.

First, let's be clear about what we're even talking about here with a visual. In the image below, left is "over" and right is "under."

toilet paper hung over and under

Toilet paper hung "over" (left) and "under" (right)

Elya/Wikimedia Commons

So which one is the right way? According to health experts, "over" is the way to go.

"One key to maintaining a hygienic washroom is minimising contact between people and surfaces," Dr. Christian Moro, associate professor of health sciences and medicine at Bond University on Australia's Gold Coast, told Australian Broadcasting Corporation. "Depending on the type of roll holder, [hanging the toilet paper "over"] often lowers the chance that a user will touch the wall behind when fishing for paper, leaving germs behind on that surface which can be spread to the next user."

Picture it: Grabbing the end of the toilet paper when it's hung "over" means you only touch the part of the toilet paper you're going to use. When it's "under," you sometimes have to fish for it or scrape your fingers on the wall in order to grab the loose end. In addition to whatever might be on people's hands already, think about all the people who wipe twice, potentially transferring fresh fecal matter or other bacteria to the wall on the second pass, which then get picked up by other people who inadvertently touch that wall when trying to grab their TP.

Theoretically, we all should have become better hand washers during the pandemic, scrubbing with soap for the full 20 seconds it takes to remove bacteria. But I wouldn't be willing to bet on it.

And touching any surface in a bathroom is pretty nasty, according to a study from the University of Colorado. As Inc. reported: "Using a high-tech genetic sequencing tool, researchers identified 19 groups of bacteria on the doors, floors, faucet handles, soap dispensers, and toilets of 12 public restrooms in Colorado — six men’s restrooms and six women’s restrooms. Many of the bacteria strains identified could be transmitted by touching contaminated surfaces."

Bacteria means things like e.coli, which is a common source of food poisoning and one of the most common bacteria found on bathroom surfaces in the study. If you've ever had a bout of food poisoning, I'm sure you'll agree that a toilet paper roll hanging preference isn't worth risking it.

But sanitary health concerns aren't the only argument for the "over" camp. After all, the original patent for the toilet paper roll, issued in 1891, clearly shows the TP in the "over" position. Thank you for the clarity right from the get go, Mr. Wheeler.

toilet paper patent image

The toilet paper roll was patented by Seth Wheeler in 1891.

Public Domain

Now, before the "under" folks come running with their pitchforks, there are some understandable exceptions to the "over" rule. Namely: cats and kids.

If you have a furry friend or a tiny toddler who likes to unroll the toilet paper roll, "over" makes it super fun for them, while "under" stops them in their tracks. For many people, cats and kids are the primary motivator of their TP hanging habits.

That doesn't change the fact that "over" is actually the "correct" way to hang toilet paper according to health science and the inventor's intention, of course, but "under" is certainly preferable to having a pile of TP on the floor.

Now go forth, do that with information as you will, and try to make peace with your over vs. under rivals.


This article originally appeared on 3.13.24

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She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

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When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Identity

A woman with a disability gets real about dating and sex. She's funny and honest.

Her candor is delightful, her message is important, and her jokes are great

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

Most people are missing out on a huge portion of the dating pool.


"So just recently I went out on a Match.com date, and it was fantastic," begins Dr. Danielle Sheypuk in her TEDx Talk.

If you've ever been on Match.com, that opening line might make you do a double take. How does one get so lucky?

Before you get too jealous, you should know things quickly went downhill two dates later, as most Match.com dates ultimately do. This time, however, the reason may not be something that you've ever experienced.

Intrigued? I was too. Here's the story.

a photo of Dr. Sheypuk smiling.

Gorgeous!

Photo from Dr. Sheypuk's Instagram account, used with permission.

She's a licensed clinical psychologist, an advocate, and a model — among other things. She's also been confined to a wheelchair since childhood. And that last fact is what did her recent date in.

Over a romantic Italian dinner on their third date, Sheypuk noticed that he was sitting farther away from her than usual. And then, out of nowhere, he began to ask the following questions:

"I've been thinking, how are you gonna be a mother? How are you gonna do the duties that's gonna be required of you? And even as wife — how ... I'm not sure how this is gonna work."

Used to this line of inquiry, she had the perfect quippy reply: "Well that's simple: I'm just gonna hire someone like every other New Yorker."

But despite her witty answer, he'd already made up his mind. She never heard from him again.

"I tried to convince myself that this was like any other relationship, but deep down I knew the reality. Who wants to date someone in a wheelchair?"

Dr. Sheypuk knows that that single question is evidence of a really serious problem—not just on the dating scene, but in society in general.

Society has factored out an entire group of potential romantic partners: people with disabilities.

a glamorous photo of Dr. Sheypuk in her wheelchair.

Talk about a million-dollar smile.

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

In her words:

"We are completely left out of the dating picture. Society, media included, seems to ignore the fact that we have the same emotional needs and desires as everyone else. Is this injustice born out of the concept of the poster child and his or her duty to induce pity to raise money?

Or maybe it's a conclusion drawn from mainstream porn where we have actors performing, like, gymnastic stunts with the stamina that none of us have of bucking broncos and jackrabbits.”

Um, yes. So much yes. She continues:

"The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

"Now let's look at the continuum in our society where sexual is measured. On the one hand, we have humans that are the ultimate sex appeal object. So on that end, we have Victoria's Secret models, Playboy centerfolds, people like that.

On the complete opposite end, we have people with physical disabilities. And it seems like the more we deviate from this ultimate sex icon, the more desexualized we become, the more taboo the topic, and the more damaging the consequences.

Now, for most people there are quick fixes, right? We have Hair Club for Men, Botox, Spanx, butt implants. But for people with disabilities, there are no quick fixes. There is no magic pill."

And we are hit hard.”

It's important to note, too, that while someone may not be disabled now, it doesn't mean they will never experience or develop a disability. Due to injuries, illnesses, and chronic conditions, research shows that the chances of becoming disabled are startlingly on the rise.

Watch the rest of Dr. Sheypuk's talk to hear her important insights about what dating and relationships are like when a person has a disability—and how much of society is limiting itself.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Joy

3 dudes teach their friend a hilariously harsh lesson about being a gentleman on a date

We love dudes being bros.

famousbachelors/TikTok

Guy's friends set him straight on his first date faux pas.

Who says chivalry is dead? Times have changed and gender roles have evolved, in many ways for the better. But there's still something appealing about some aspects of old-fashioned chivalry and manners. Holding the door, pulling out a chair, buying flowers.

In fact, kindness and respectfulness are top traits women have been shown to value in long-term partners. So it's safe to say that if guys aren't displaying these virtues on the first date, there might not be a second one.

There's been an overwhelming amount of discourse about whether or not younger generations of men know anything about chivalry. Are they not being taught? Not observing it in their fathers? Not holding each other accountable for acting like jerks? Maybe all of the above!

One group of guys, at least, is out to prove that no, chivalry is not completely dead, and Gen Z men are not as hopeless as we think. In a recent viral video, the guys of FamousBachelors take a friend to task when he wonders why a girl hasn't texted him after their first date.


famousbachelors/YouTube

"You didn't walk her to her car?" one asks the friend in question.

"Walking to the car, that's not a big deal right?" he responds.

"That's what went wrong! That's why she didn't text you back!"

The friend goes on to explain that it was cold and dark and her car was far away in the other direction from his, so he didn't feel like he wanted to walk her. And that's when his friends lose it.

"THAT'S WHY YOU NEEDED TO WALK HER TO THE CAR!" they all scream.

"It doesn't matter if your car is on the other side of the Sahara desert, you walk her to her car!" one shouts. "Especially at night!" another adds.

The debate is hilarious and as wholesome as it gets — the dudes get really worked up at their friend's obliviousness and are beside themselves that he would make such a basic miscalculation. Watch it for yourself here:

@famousbachelors

Date gone wrong 🤦‍♂️

The clip went mega viral with over 15 million views and thousands of comments.

Commenters were overjoyed with what has to be the most heartwarming and wholesome date recap you'll ever see:

"At least he’s in the right friend group," one said.

"The one guy 'he’s saying he’s not interested'… YES! That’s what the lack of consideration shows," observed another.

And a few more noteworthy responses poured in:

"We’re hoping to get to our car safely. He’s hoping to get to his car 40 seconds earlier."

"I love these guys holding him accountable but DUDE, I walk my FRIENDS to their car, that's the STANDARD for EVERYONE."

Role models for positive masculinity are few and far between. That means it's up to guy friends to hold each other to a higher standard.

Let's be honest, the most visible men that young guys are looking up to these days are hardly bastions of chivalry and manners. Until that changes, men have to start holding each other accountable.

That can take on a more serious tone, like calling out misogyny, sexist jokes, and harassment when we see it in our everyday lives.

It can also mean playfully challenging our friends to just do better, like the FamousBachelor boys do: "Dude, have some manners!'"

Turns out that being a half-decent guy is actually not that hard, but even still, we all mess it up sometimes. Having a good group of dudes around you to let you know (in hilarious fashion, ideally) when you've dropped the ball is something we all need.

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Flat Earther visits Antarctica to see if the 24-hour sun is real and has an emotional reaction

Flat Earthers and "globe Earthers" came together for the truth-finding trip of a lifetime.

The Final Experiment/YouTube & Unsplash

Admitting you were wrong is not an easy thing to do for anyone.

Three years ago, a pastor from Colorado named Will Duffy found out that some people believed — still believed — that the Earth was flat. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Hadn't we settled this debate centuries ago?! Not only was the debate continuing to rage on, but it was incredibly divisive and was part of a doorway to discredit even more crucial science.

He decided to take it upon himself to end the questions, once and for all. How? By taking a trip to Antarctica.

Duffy devised a project called The Final Experiment, in which he invited prominent "flat Earthers" along with a crew of "globe Earthers" to explore the most remote climate on the planet — together.

In a flat Earth model, Antarctica is usually depicted as an ice wall that encircles the rest of the planet. Sometimes, it's shown as its own distinct continent. However, by visiting Antarctica in the summer, the team would be able to see Antarctica's famous 24-hour sun, or midnight sun, up close and personal.

Flat Earthers, crucially, do not typically believe that a 24-hour sun is possible. In their models, the sun would rise and set in Antarctica the same way it does everywhere else. The existence of midnight sun would, if not outright prove, at least heavily suggest, that Earth is a tilted sphere.

(Of course, there are already mountains of evidence and data that show the Earth is a sphere — and plenty of documentation of the existence of midnight sun. But never mind that for now.)

Duffy reached out to several big-name flat Earthers, and many declined to take the trip. But he was able to get a handful of brave explorers on board. The group flew deep into the interior of Antarctica, landing on an ice runway near Union Glacier Camp.

Will Duffy and his crew live-streamed the whole thing on YouTube via Starlink. The video begins at midnight, with the sun high in the sky — an absolutely stunning sight for many on the expedition. Duffy then allows each member of the team to share their thoughts on the journey and their observations.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Jeran Campanella, one of the most prominent flat Earthers on YouTube, spoke from the heart: "Sometimes, you are wrong in life."

"I thought there was no 24-hour sun, in fact I was pretty sure of it," he said bluntly after observing it with his own eyes. "It's a fact. The sun does circle you in the south. What does it mean? You guys are gonna have to figure that out yourselves."

He stopped short of definitively admitting that the Earth is a sphere, but he did confess that the Azimuthal equidistant map — the most popular flat earth model — no longer makes sense in his mind based on what he saw in Antarctica.

"I realize I'll be called a shill for saying that. And you know what, if you're a shill for being honest, so be it. I honestly believed there was no 24 hour sun, I honestly now believe there is. There it is," he said.

It seems silly, since most of us can acknowledge that a spherical Earth is settled science. But by making this admission on camera, Jeran risked losing his audience, his credibility in his community, and even his livelihood as a content creator with nearly 200,000 followers.

It took courage to finally admit that he was wrong.

"Respect for Jeran. He sounded shaken and he knows he's going to [receive] backlash," wrote a commenter on Youtube.

"I'm quite impressed by Jeran. He chokes up and was quite emotional, clearly this was a deep seated belief of his and he handled being proven wrong with grace. good for him," said another.

Why is it so hard for us to let go of deeply held beliefs? Beliefs aren't always logical decisions, but emotional ones.

A flat earth mapBy Strebe - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0

Our identities and our sense of self get so tied up into what we believe. Belief in a conspiracy theory might start as genuine curiosity or confusion but quickly spiral into much more.

People even make good friends and meet romantic partners inside of communities based on their beliefs, so to let go of that is deeply threatening to our psyches.

"Our ego, or sense of self, finds comfort in our various identities. Just as we have fight, flight, or freeze instincts to protect our physical well-being, we defend our psychological sense of self when our various identities are threatened. This is why if someone makes fun of our favorite football team, city, state, country, music artist, political party, hero, religion, ideas, and so on, we feel a surge of emotion to defend them," writes Mike Brooks for Psychology Today.

Even when we see the truth with our own eyes, it can be hard to accept.

"I think what matters most is putting our egos aside," Lisbeth, another flat Earther that accompanied The Final Experiment to Antarctica. "Are we here for truth, or are we here to hold onto narrative and ego?"

Some people just need to see things with their own eyes to believe. And putting your most deeply-held beliefs on the line and going into new situations with an open mind, knowing core pieces of your identity may not hold up to scrutiny, is admirable — no matter what the rest of us might think about the validity of those beliefs.

Mark Herman, who also went on the voyage, said, "Who would have thought? Two groups of people who are so opposed in belief and ideology to the point where there's ridicule, there's shame, all kinds of horrible things, but when they come together, there's so much camaraderie and teamwork between people. I'm very thankful to be a part of it."

Watch the full video and I think you'll be surprised by how much beauty there is in this project, not only in the breathtaking Antarctic landscape and the wonder of never-ending sunshine, but in the humanity and vulnerability on display from each of the participants.

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Progressive Insurance® donated 96 vehicles to veterans and their families as part of its ongoing commitment to driving progress on the road

Progressive has honored nearly 1,100 veterans since the inception of its Keys to Progress program in 2013.

Former medic and single mom Leah Moore and her children being honored during the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

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In 2023, Leah Moore was struggling. A single mom and former medic in the Texas Air National Guard, Leah had no family support where she lived in Seattle, WA, which made raising her two girls and working full-time a significant challenge. When her only car broke down, Leah found herself struggling more than ever.

But in 2024, Leah’s burden became a little lighter. Moore is now one of many veterans that have been honored during this year’s Keys to Progress event, an annual giveaway that took place in over 60 cities across the country. Along with Moore, close to 100 other veterans and their families recieved the keys to free, reliable transportation as a thank you for their military service.

Providing reliable transportation to deserving veterans who’ve protected our country

According to the US Department of Transportation, approximately 40 percent of veterans live in rural areas where affordable transportation options are limited. Limited transportation can greatly affect a veteran’s quality of life, since reliable transportation is necessary for work, medical care, and other services.

Gail Nicholson, a veteran who served in the United States Army during the Persian Gulf Crisis from 1993 - 1997, knows this challenge personally. Gail relied on public transportation as she supported her family since the COVID-19 pandemic when her mother fell extremely ill. As a senior citizen, traveling by bus, with schedules and lines that are not always accessible, it has not always been easy.

With veterans like Gail Nicholson in mind, Progressive founded the Keys to Progress event in 2013, hoping to alleviate some of these common struggles that veterans face every day. Now, Gail will be able to care for her family and travel freely without the need for public transit.

Veteran Gail Nicholson at the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

How the dream of independence becomes a reality

There’s no doubt that access to a car can make anyone’s life easier—but it also comes with additional expenses that require additional financial commitment. To help with this, multiple organizations have come together with Progressive to make Keys to Progress possible.

First, local charities and Veracity Research Co. Investigations (VRC), a veteran-owned and operated company, help to identify deserving veterans in each region. Once the recipients are chosen, Insurance Auto Auctions, Inc. (IAA) provides a Powertrain 12-month protection plan for all donated vehicles, while 1-800-Charity Cars donates resources to help with vehicle titling and registration. Enterprise, a rental car company, pays for the insurance for each donated vehicle for the first six months, and Progressive writes the insurance policies funded by Enterprise. Finally, the gently used vehicles are donated through Charity Cars.

The result is a well-deserved gift that enables each veteran to get back on the road and move ahead in life as easily as possible.

Supporting veterans on the road and beyond

Sometimes too, a veteran needs an assist in getting their small business off and running as well. Through Keys to Progress, Progressive has also donated three tractor trailers to worthy recipients.

Lt. Colonel Rose a 30-year U.S. Marine Corps veteran, was the 2022 recipient of a commercial through the Keys to Progress program. He shared, “Since being selected as the 2022 Keys to Progress recipient, the vehicle has exceeded all expectations of being an owner operator. Myself, including so many others, have been blessed by this magnificent machine. This blessing has catapulted my business forward, the donation of operating costs has played a significant part in minor repair costs along with being able to forgo a truck payment.”

Lt. Colonel Rose has been able to grow his trucking business to a second truck and he is working to purchase a third due to the revenue made from being a Keys to Progress recipient. He has also taken his earnings to donate to various charities and is inspired by showing his appreciation and patriotism for the United States.

But Keys to Progress is truly a passion project, and one that has impacted many deserving veterans. Collectively, Progressive has been able to donate vehicles to more than 1,100 military families, in addition to gifting three fully-loaded commercial trucks to veteran truck drivers and 28 commercial vehicles to select veteran organizations.

Cars at Progressive's annual Keys to Progress event.

“Our Keys to Progress initiative is a wonderful example of Progressive's purpose to help people move forward and live fully," said Tricia Griffith, President and Chief Executive Officer of Progressive. "We're proud to be celebrating our 12th year of supporting veterans and will present almost 100 well-deserving veterans and their families with keys to a vehicle that will provide them reliable transportation to get on the road and move forward in life."

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah or Gail, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress on the road and providing transportation for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah, Gail, or Lt. Colonel Rose, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

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Video of husband realizing his wife's stocking went unfilled for 10 years has moms talking

What was meant as a joke felt all too real to moms responsible for creating holiday magic.

@whataboutaub/TikTok

It took ten years for a husband to realize his wife received and empty stocking every year

Back in 2021, wife and mom Aubree Jones posted a video to her TikTok that she thought would provide a relatable chuckle among other moms.

Instead, other moms found it heartbreaking.

In the clip, titled “PSA for husbands everywhere,” Aubree’s husband, Josh, is filming their family unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. He goes around to each of the family members’ stockings, until he comes upon an empty one.

“Whose is this?” Josh asks. “Is this an extra one?”

Aubree answers, “No, that’s mine,” with a smile.

Josh then asks why the stocking is empty, to which Aubree quips, “I don’t know. Santa didn’t come for me.”

“It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time,” Aubree captioned, adding, “your wife’s stocking is your responsibility."

Considering Aubree meant for the video to be a “lighthearted thing to show what moms go through," as she told TODAY.com, she was totally taken aback by the visceral, negative reactions to it.

Many noted it wasn’t just Josh’s act of forgetting to fill his wife’s stocking that was hurtful, but then simply laughing it off after realizing the neglect.


“She laughs. But I knew inside it hurt,”the top comment read.

Another person wrote, “all of us women felt that in our stomach. It hurt.”

@whataboutaub It took him 10 years to notice it’s been empty this whole time. @Josh Jones #marriedlife #marriage #husbandsoftiktok #fail #ohno #christmas #psa #pregnant ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Here are a few more:

“I got a bit teary.. you can tell there is some pain behind the ‘that’s mine.’”

"The little girl in her felt so left out."

“Not just the lack of gifts. The lack of thought…”

“Believe me, she wanted to cry, not laugh.”

"This is a good example that mom does all the stuff and nobody notices."

"I would’ve been divorced.

"This literally broke my heart."

Though Aubree assured TODAY.com that her marriage dynamic was nowhere near as unhealthy as the video made it seem (she even went so far so to send a follow-up video showing how he actually did give her thoughtful Christmas gifts) her video highlighted a sad reality many moms face during the holidays.

When creating all the magic of the season—the decor, the gifts, the food, the social plans, the outfits for the Christmas card, coming up with bigger and better Elf on the Shelf position etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., all the etceteras—fall solely on their shoulders, many moms are robbed of the chance to actually enjoy it themselves.

So much has changed for women in traditional marriages, but it would be naive to think that there aren’t still ways that moms are often expected to pull off herculean feats in order for their families to enjoy the fruits of their labor, all the while juggling multiple other responsibilities, and still not fully being seen.

Still, we can find some hope in making Christmas as magical for moms as they make it for us. Some moms, like the Moms of Tampa, have made it their mission to share health co-parenting tips and skills to advocate for parents who may be forgotten in the daily shuffle.

If moms are moving heaven and earth to make sure their families feel loved this holiday season, let’s make sure we are doing the same for them.

two women kissing a little boy wearing glasses on his cheeksMeet the Moms of Tampa, winning hearts online while advocating for healthy co-parenting.

Instagram

This way everyone gets some Christmas joy.


This article originally appeared last year.

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