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Our cultures were a divide in our relationship. Here's how we married them.

This story first appeared on The Mash-Up Americans.

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I dated my husband for almost seven years before our wedding. We've now been married for two. He’s Jewish; I’m Hindu.

It wasn’t until five months into our marriage that the divide between our cultural backgrounds and religions become apparent.

It began with brisket.

The evening started benignly enough — we were trying to decide if we were going to host his family for Passover that year, our first as a married couple. In the midst of planning, our conversation escalated when I pointed out I knew more about his culture and religion than he did. It ended in a huff when I was able to explain how to make a perfect brisket, but he couldn’t tell me what sambar, a lentil-based South Indian vegetable dish, was.

The real issue wasn’t about food, obviously.‌

Seth and me. Image via Hitha Herzog, used with permission. ‌

When I first met Seth, I knew how important Jewish culture was to him, even though he wasn’t religious. I made it a point to learn about Judaism.

I studied the diaspora of his relatives from Hungary and Russia to Princeton, New Jersey, via the Lower East Side and the Bronx. I researched Jewish history and visited museums. I learned how to make a perfect potato pancake and read up on what each of the eight Hanukkah blessings meant. I happily called myself a Hind-Jew. Because in my mind, that’s what I was becoming — a balanced, super in-tune mix of my culture and his.

Despite having had a four-day wedding that included separate Hindu and Jewish ceremonies, though, my husband had no idea who he was (culturally) marrying.

Sure, he was schooled on the several ritualistic steps of our Hindu wedding ceremony. He was present for the house-blessing puja we hosted when we bought our first apartment on the Upper West Side.

But he still didn’t understand why I kept vegetarian on Saturdays (a day devoted to Lord Venkateswara, an incarnation of Vishnu, something I have done since birth) or why it was imperative that we always take our shoes off in the house. His understanding of what it meant to be a Hindu Indian was straight from a Mindy Kaling script, peppered with “tiger mom” quips.

Food was a whole other issue.

Seth wasn’t used to eating spicy food, so instead of having my weekly thali complete with idli, potato masala, and a dosa, a South Indian breakfast array that I had turned into a dinner tradition, I swapped it out for a weekly trip to our favorite Chinese joint. Secretly, I was afraid I was becoming more “Jew” in the delicate Hind-Jew equation I created for myself, and it scared me.

‌Passover. Seth as Moses, and me as I prepare the perfect brisket. Image via Hitha Herzog, used with permission.‌

We were a few weeks out from our wedding when Seth and I started talking about our future kids.

“We are going to raise them Jewish,” he said with finality.

“OK...” I said, giving him the side-eye, slightly bewildered.

Turns out discussing brisket is great for surfacing a hidden identity crisis.

I was right to be nervous. Though he’d always said he didn’t want me to convert to Judaism, once we were engaged and talking about our future kids, he’d had a change of heart.

He wanted our kids to be raised Jewish, and in order for our kids to be Jewish, I had to be as well.

And just like that, another weight had been added to the “Jew” side of the Hind-Jew scale. But I loved this guy. I tucked away my anxiety, and suddenly, five months later, we were married and facing our first Passover.

“How would you like it if I made an executive decision to raise our kids Hindu?” I shouted. “I thought our kids were going to be raised knowing both religions. And now you are saying they can only be one?”

“It’s important to me for the kids to be raised in the Jewish faith.”

Seth took a step back and sat down at our enormous kitchen table, a place I had envisioned our kids studying for Hebrew school and reciting lines from the Mahabharata.

“Where is this coming from? We were just talking about brisket!” He genuinely looked perplexed.

“You said you wanted me to convert so our kids could grow up Jewish!” I shrieked. I was getting upset but for reasons only I could understand. It wasn’t even the conversion part that upset me. I had spent so much time learning about his culture and religion in our relationship that I was 75% there. I was upset because I felt like I was losing myself. I had already changed my name to Herzog when we got married. Now I had to give up a large part of my identity? No way.

Seth paused for a moment before he spoke. “It’s important to me for the kids to be raised in the Jewish faith.”

Our conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so I dropped it for the moment.

We hosted Passover. It was a week before a trip to India to visit my extended family. During the dinner, Seth talked about his excitement and fear swirling around the trip, since it was his first time there.

“I’m sure I’m going to get diarrhea,” he said with a smirk. “But at least I will lose some weight!”

Our guests doubled over in laughter. My heart sank as I passed around the matzoh ball soup, which I had made from scratch. I didn’t want to ruin the fun everyone was having by dismissing such a backward notion of India, but I was heartbroken. The Hind-Jew scale had practically fallen over. I cried myself to sleep that night.

Something happened during our week abroad. The minute we touched down in Hyderabad, all the preconceived ideas Seth had about India vanished. He was enthralled and eager to learn.

I took him to all the ancient sites in town, and he stood and said nothing; instead, he let the sensory overload of noisy auto rickshaws, street anarchy, and the smell of petrol and street food take over. He met my extended family. They embraced him like a son. They overfed him South Indian delicacies of biriyani, a savory chicken and rice dish native to Hyderabad; tamarind and yellow rice; pesarattu, a mung bean pancake; and upma, a savory porridge made from rice flour.

My heart burst when he asked for seconds. It shattered in a billion pieces when he went in for thirds.

‌Seth with Sarah, one of seven Jews left in Cochin, Kerala. Image via Hitha Herzog, used with permission.‌

One night, my family pulled together a “small” Hindu reception of 100 people in the courtyard of our family’s apartment building. They wanted to welcome Seth and celebrate our wedding and give blessings. Seth was so touched by the gesture, he cried.

Later in the week, we ventured to Cochin, in Kerala, where we hung out on a houseboat for three days as the second part of our honeymoon. Seth got to see how diverse the religious landscape of India really is when we visited a Syrian Christian church that had been in town since the 1300s.

“This place is awesome,” he said. Day five into the trip, he still wasn’t sick and continued to take second helpings of the food.

Our last day in Cochin was a significant turning point in our Hind-Jew negotiations. Seth and I visited a section of the city called “Jew Town.” Historically, this was where most of the spice trade happened in the city. It was an ancient section, beautifully preserved with a 500-year-old synagogue at the end of the street. While walking back to our car, we stumbled upon a shop that sold handmade bread coverings for Shabbat. The coverings were made by a 92-year-old Jewish woman named Sarah Cohen, whose family had settled in Cochin nearly 400 years ago. She was one of seven Jews left in Cochin.

Seth and I spoke with her about her family, her faith, and what it meant to be an Indian Jewish woman. She showed us pictures of her family from the 1800s and of herself from 1940. When Seth and I left, she started to cry and said, “Please come visit me again soon, my days are numbered!” Something changed in both of us that day.

On our way back to the States, we talked about Cochin and my family.

Seth, unprompted, said: “I want our kids to be raised Jewish, but it’s important to me for them to know their Hindu roots. And they can ultimately decide what they want to do.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Could our travels have changed his perspective on our future family? He didn’t elaborate, but when we stepped off the flight I knew he was a changed person. I was, too. I no longer felt the pressure to convert, or the weight of my hidden anxiety over the Hind-Jew scale. Even if I do convert, I know that I won’t be losing myself; converting will be a chance to access another faith while still holding on to my traditions.

At least I know that Seth was changed in one dramatic way. Instead of an “Indian” diet, he had to go on a diet when we got back to the U.S. after gaining 10 pounds from eating so much incredible South Indian food — the same food that he now asks me to make alongside the brisket.

‌Our wedding. Image via Hitha Herzog, used with permission.‌

Science

Her groundbreaking theory on the origin of life was rejected 15 times. Then biology proved her right.

Lynn Margulis had the audacity to challenge Darwin. And we're lucky she did.

lynn margulis, lynn margulis symbiosis, biology, scientific breakthroughs, darwin, darwinism, women in science
Facts That Will Blow Your Mind/Facebook

A photo of Lynn Margulis.

Throughout her prolific and distinguished career, biologist Lynn Margulis made several groundbreaking contributions to science that we take for granted as common knowledge today. For example, she championed James E. Lovelock’s “Gaia concept,” which posited that the Earth self-regulates to maintain conditions for life.

But by far, her most notable theory was symbiogenesis. While it was first written off as “strange” and “aesthetically pleasing” but “not compelling,” it would ultimately prevail, and completely rewrite how we viewed the origin of life itself.


In the late 1960s, Margulis wrote a paper titled "On the Origin of Mitosing Cells," that was quite avant-garde. In it, she proposed a theory: that life evolved through organisms merging together to become inseparable.

In essence, cooperation is the driver of life, not competition and domination. This directly went against Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” principle that was considered gospel in scientific circles. Margulis’ paper was rejected by fifteen journals before getting accepted into the Journal of Theoretical Biology.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Time would be on Margulis’ side, however. By the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, research proved that the two major building blocks of plants and animals, chloroplasts and mitochondria were at one time independent bacteria. This solidified the fact that on a biological level, connection trumps autonomy for longevity. And now that fact is written in textbooks, with no real story of the adversity it overcame to get there.

While it is customary for most new scientific theories to be met with criticism, especially those that completely shift the current narrative, many have noted that sexism played a key part in Margulis’ initial lack of acceptance. On more than one occasion, she herself had hinted that women were seen as mothers and wives first, and scientists second. She recalled that while married to fellow scientist Carl Sagan that “Carl would finish his sentence, unperturbed” while she was expected to “handle all the duties of a 1950s housewife, from washing dishes to paying the household bills.”

And yet, Margulis would have other ideas that were controversial that had nothing to do with her gender. Most famously, she did not believe that AIDS was caused by HIV, and instead believed it was cause by a syphilis-causing type of bacteria, despite there already being decades of research proving otherwise. That view was seen as an endorsement of AIDS denialism, which undermined prevention and treatment effort. Then later in life, Margulis became a vocal proponent of 9/11 conspiracy theories suggesting government involvement the in Twin Towers attacks.

And yet, perhaps this is one of those “you gotta take the good with the bad” situations. Margulis’ inherent contrarian nature gave us both these unfounded, even harmful stances, in addition to entirely new paradigms that altered our understanding of life itself.

And if nothing else, it illuminated the need for science to include multiple points of view in order to unlock the truth. It seems life is, after all, about coming together.

washing sheets, bedding, how often should you wash your sheets, making the bed, wash sheets, how often should you wash bed sheets
Photo credit: Canva
The rest of your bedding doesn't need to be washed as often.

There's nothing better than hopping into bed with clean sheets. But let's be honest: washing your sheets can be a pain. From stripping the bed to putting sheets back on post-washing, it's a chore. But you may want to re-think how often you should be washing your bed sheets.

According to a survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by Mattress Advisor, the average time between sheet changings or washings in the U.S. is 24 days—or every 3 1/2 weeks, approximately. The same survey revealed that 35 days is the average interval at which unwashed sheets are "gross."


If that sounds about right to you, prepare to be shocked. According to experts, you should be washing your sheets *a lot* sooner than that for hygiene reasons.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How often should you wash your sheets?

Hint: It's a lot more frequent than 24 days.

While there is no definitive number of days or weeks, most experts recommend swapping out used sheets for clean ones every week or two.

Dermatologist Alok Vij, MD told Cleveland Clinic that people should wash their sheets at least every two weeks, but probably more often if you have pets, live in a hot climate, sweat a lot, are recovering from illness, have allergies or asthma, or if you sleep naked.

We shed dead skin all the time, and friction helps those dead skin cells slough off, so imagine what's happening every time you roll over and your skin rubs on the sheets. It's normal to sweat in your sleep, too, so that's also getting on your sheets. And then there's dander and dust mites and dirt that we carry around on us just from living in the world, all combining to make for pretty dirty sheets in a fairly short period of time, even if they look "clean."

Maybe if you shower before bed and always wear clean pajamas you could get by with a two-week sheet swap cycle, but weekly sheet cleaning seems to be the general consensus among the experts. The New York Times consulted five books about laundry and cleaning habits, and once a week was what they all recommend.

Sorry, once-a-monthers. You may want to step up your sheet game a bit.

sheets, bed sheets, clean sheets, how often should you wash your sheets, how often should you wash your bed sheets Experts agree that this is how often you should wash your bed sheets.Photo credit: Canva

What about the rest of your bedding? Blankets and comforters and whatnot?

Olivia Parks, Owner + Lead Organizer at Nola Organizers, told Upworthy that duvet covers should be cleaned every week or so.

"Even though the cover protects the insert, the insert still collects body odor, sweat, body oils from lotions or other body products, crumbs if you eat in your bed, dog hair or cat hair, and more," she explained.

Somewhere between the Gen X and Millennial eras, young folks stopped being about the top sheet life, just using their duvet with no top sheet. If that's you, wash that baby once a week. If you do use a top sheet, you can go a couple weeks longer on the duvet cover.

For blankets and comforters and duvet inserts, Sleep.com says every 3 months. And for decorative blankets and quilts that you don't really use, once a year washing will suffice.

What about pillows? Pillowcases should go in with the weekly sheet washing, but pillows themselves should be washed every 3 to 6 months. Washing pillows can be a pain, and if you don't do it right, you can end up with a lumpy pillow, but it's a good idea because between your sweat, saliva and skin cells, pillows can start harboring bacteria.

@suzieqssss

Baking soda absorbs moisture and or odor and breaks down any residue that builds up! If you have allergies you should be doing this more often! #cleaning #lifehack #tiktokshopcybermonday #tiktokshopblackfriday #mattressvacuumcleaner

Finally, how about the mattress itself? Home influencers on TikTok can often be seen stripping their beds, sprinkling their mattress with baking soda, brushing it into the mattress fibers and then vacuuming it all out. Architectural Digest says the longer you leave baking soda on the mattress, the better—at least a few hours, but preferably overnight. Some people add a few drops of essential oil to the baking soda for some extra yummy smell.

If that all sounds like way too much work, maybe just start with the sheets. Pick a day of the week and make it your sheet washing day. You might find that climbing into a clean, fresh set of sheets more often is a nice way to feel pampered without a whole lot of effort.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity

How do you get someone to open their minds to another perspective?

The diversity of humanity means people won't always see eye to eye, and psychology tells us that people tend to double down when their views are challenged. When people are so deeply entrenched in their own perspectives they're refusing to entertain other viewpoints, what do we do?

Frequently, what we do falls into the "understandable but ineffective" category. When we disagree with someone because their opinion is based on falsehoods or inaccurate information, we may try to pound them with facts and statistics. Unfortunately, research shows that generally doesn't work. We might try to find different ways to explain our stance using logic and reasoning, but that rarely makes a dent, either. So often, we're left wondering how on Earth this person arrived at their perspective, especially if they reject facts and logic.


According to Stanford researchers, turning that wondering into an actual question might be the key.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Questions are more effective than facts when it comes to disagreements.Photo credit: Canva

The power of "Tell me more."

Two studies examined how expressing interest in someone's view and asking them to elaborate on why they hold their opinion affected both parties engaged in a debate. They found that asking questions like, "Could you tell me more about that?” and ‘‘Why do you think that?" made the other person "view their debate counterpart more positively, behave more open-mindedly, and form more favorable inferences about other proponents of the counterpart’s views." Additionally, adding an expression of interest, such as, ‘‘But I was interested in what you’re saying. Can you tell me more about how come you think that?” not only made the counterpart more open to other viewpoints, but the questioner themselves developed more favorable attitudes toward the opposing viewpoint.

In other words, genuinely striving to understand another person's perspective by being curious and asking them to say more about how they came to their conclusions may help bridge seemingly insurmountable divides.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Asking people to elaborate leads to more open-mindedness.Photo credit: Canva

Stanford isn't alone in these findings. A series of studies at the University of Haifa also found that high-quality listening helped lower people's prejudices, and that when people perceive a listener to be responsive, they tend to be more open-minded. Additionally, the perception that their attitude is the correct and valid one is reduced.

Why curiosity works

In some sense, these results may seem counterintuitive. We may assume that asking someone to elaborate on what they believe and why they believe it might just further entrench them in their views and opinions. But that's not what the research shows.

Dartmouth cognitive scientist Thalia Wheatley studies the role of curiosity in relationships and has found that being curious can help create consensus where there wasn't any before.

“[Curiosity] really creates common ground across brains, just by virtue of having the intellectual humility to say, ‘OK, I thought it was like this, but what do you think?’ And being willing to change your mind,” she said, according to the John Templeton Foundation.

discussion, debate, disagreement, conversation, communication, curiosity Curiosity can help people get closer to consensus. Photo credit: Canva

Of course, there may be certain opinions and perspectives that are too abhorrent or inhumane to entertain with curious questions, so it's not like "tell me more" is always the solution to an intractable divide. But even those with whom we vehemently disagree or those whose views we find offensive may respond to curiosity with more open-mindedness and willingness to change their view than if we simply argue with them. And isn't that the whole point?

Sometimes what's effective doesn't always line up with our emotional reactions to a disagreement, so engaging with curiosity might take some practice. It may also require us to rethink what formats for public discourse are the most impactful. Is ranting in a TikTok video or a tweet conducive to this shift in how we engage others? Is one-on-one or small group, in-person discussion a better forum for curious engagement? These are important things to consider if our goal is not to merely state our case and make our voice heard but to actually help open people's minds and remain open-minded in our own lives as well.

pigs, pets, homework, school, teachers, kids, dog ate my homework, excuses, funny, humor
By Andrew Watson/Wikimedia Commons & Canva

An Arizona girl claimed "My pig ate my homework!" Luckily, she had proof.

Believe it or not, "the dog ate my homework" excuse is over 100 years old. The first known anecdote involving a dog eating important documents came about around 1905. A professor was later recorded in 1929 writing, "It is a long time since I have had the excuse about the dog tearing up the arithmetic homework," suggesting the phrase had been around for some time.

In the century since, teachers the world over have heard every variation of excuse about why a student can't turn in their homework. But, in 2026, we may have fortuitously stumbled on a new one most teachers have never dreamed of.


Jacey Tinsley, a mom from Arizona, recently posted a story to social media that has to be seen to be believed. In the now viral post, she explains that her daughter Taylee was unable to turn in her homework for multiple subjects... because their pet pig ate it.

Yes, the Tinsleys have racked up quite a following on social media documenting life with their three mini-pigs, so it is certainly in the realm of possibility that one of the pigs could have gotten into Taylee's homework.

But would the teachers buy it?

Luckily, Tinsley was able to catch the whole thing on video via indoor Ring cam. In the footage, their pig Polly is caught red-handed snatching the backpack off of the counter, dragging it to the floor, and rifling through it—destroying several papers in the process. Tinsley took the initiative to email her daughter's teachers and school administrators with the indisputable photographic evidence.

Jacey Tinsley took full accountability for her daughter's missing work. "If/when you see any work that's partially eaten/chewed, that is 100% on us, not Taylee," she confessed.

Then, she hoped for the best.

The school staffers had no choice but to accept Jacey's ludicrous tale, and they got quite a kick out of it, too.

Taylee's principal was first to reply: "Okay, I have to admit this is a first for me!! I'm trying not to laugh hysterically..."

The science teacher chimed in next: "This is a first time in my teacher career to hear this and I find it hilarious."

The math teacher was a person of few words: "Oh my goodness, that is so funny."

Over two million people viewed the reel on Instagram and TikTok combined. Commenters were delighted by the ridiculous footage and had plenty of their own hard-to-believe stories of lost homework:

"I turned in homework once that was half eaten by my rabbits but all the answers weren't eaten so I got an A"

"That happened with my piggy she ate three page, so I sent a picture of our piggy Then the damn teacher wanted me to bring her to show and tell her"

"Had a classmate who brought in his homework that was literally eaten by his dog. My teacher thought it was so funny that he displayed the chewed up paper on his wall"

"My baby sister ate my homework once. I wish I was joking"

"My dog ate my homework which was a book I picked to read and it was about lying and saying that your dog ate your homework. I told my teacher and got yelled at so my Dad had to come in with the torn up book to prove I wasnt lying"

If there's anything to learn from the massive response to Tinsley's post, it's that, sometimes, the dog really does eat your homework. And if not the dog, then the rabbit, cat, or even pig.

Pigs can make terrific pets in the right home. They are surprisingly intelligent, playful, affectionate, and can be trained to do many of the tricks and tasks dogs can do.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Pigs can, however, be quite destructive. Because they're so smart, any hint of boredom can drive them into a frenzy of activity; a favorite activity of many pigs is rooting. Rooting is when they use their powerful snout to push and dig at the ground—or whatever items happen to be around (like a backpack that smells like yesterday's lunch). It's an instinctual behavior that calms them and helps them find snacks.

Taylee got lucky this time that the whole incident was caught on camera. "The pig ate my homework," doesn't seem like the kind of excuse that's going to fly more than once without proof.

ups driver, ups, hero, house fire, elderly woman, orange county, california, local news, good news, ktla

A delivery driver with a determined expression; a house on fire.

Fate often tests our courage at the most unexpected times. For UPS driver Willy Esquivel, that moment came on January 15 while he was completing a delivery in Orange County, California.

According to KTLA, Esquivel was on his routine route in Santa Ana when he noticed neighbors attempting to smother a blaze coming from the condo of Ann Edwards, a 101-year-old woman who lives alone.


Esquivel wasted no time entering the smoke-filled building to rescue Edwards, who seemed "very disoriented" and reluctant to leave. Nevertheless, Esquivel "picked her up and carried her safely outside," according to KTLA and a statement from the Orange County Fire Authority (OFCA).

A video posted on the OFCA's X account showed just how thick the smoke was pouring from Edwards' condo as firefighters arrived. The OFCA also acknowledged the resourceful neighbors who aided in the rescue.

"At the same time, the neighbors used fire extinguishers to knock down the kitchen fire," the OCFA wrote on X. "One of them, a roofer by trade, grabbed his ladder, climbed to the roof, and used a garden hose to spray water into the kitchen vent."

Thankfully, while Edwards was taken to the hospital, she was expected to make a full recovery. Her son, Rick, told KTLA that he was grateful to Esquivel for "sticking with her and getting her out of there."

As for Esquivel, rather than seeing himself as a hero, he told KTLA that he was "just a UPS driver who was in the right place at the right time."

"I just did what I thought was right," he added. "At the end of the day, she's someone's mother, someone's grandmother, great-grandmother."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Moments like this rarely announce themselves ahead of time. They unfold in the middle of ordinary days, on familiar streets, while people are simply doing their jobs or moving through their routines. Delivery drivers like Esquivel travel through neighborhoods every day, often unnoticed, yet uniquely positioned to sense when something is wrong. On this day, being present and paying attention made all the difference.

Just as striking as Esquivel's bravery was the way neighbors instinctively sprang into action. Without hesitation, they grabbed fire extinguishers, ladders, and garden hoses, each contributing whatever they had in the moment. Together, their quick thinking and collaboration helped prevent an even greater tragedy.

"A remarkable outcome made possible by quick action, teamwork, and people looking out for one another in a moment of need," the OCFA wrote on X.

It's easy to assume someone else will step in. That it's not your fight. That it's not your responsibility. Heroism requires the opposite mindset. And at a time when the world can feel increasingly short on that quality, this story is a refreshing reminder that yes, there are still good people out there willing to help, even when it means helping complete strangers while on the job.