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In 1990, Oprah hosted a healing childhood trauma meditation that had people in tears in two minutes

Oprah had people opening up about trauma years before it was commonplace.

oprah, childhood trauma, john bradshaw

via OWN Network/YouTube

Oprah's "Childhood Wounds Seminar."

Oprah Winfrey was a pioneer when it came to breaking taboos surrounding trauma, therapy and self-help. She also put her career on the line by coming out about being abused as a child, years before it was commonplace for celebrities to speak about their trauma.

In September 1990, “The Oprah Winfrey Show” aired an iconic episode titled “Childhood Wounds Seminar,” featuring educator and motivational speaker John Bradshaw. In the ‘80s and ‘90s, Bradshaw was a popular guest on television talk shows as a “psycho-vangelist” who combined elements of developmental psychology, touches of philosophy and theology, and a flair for the dramatic to help his patients and the studio audience.

Bradshaw wrote multiple bestsellers including, “Healing the Shame That Binds You” (1988) and “Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child” (1990). He passed away in 2016 at 82.

In this episode, Bradshaw led Oprah’s audience in a 7-minute guided meditation where he asked them to revisit themselves in their homes as children and rescue them from a traumatic situation. At the two-minute mark, audience members begin to visibly weep as they look their childhood selves in the eyes.

"I’m the one that wrote the letter and I'm coming to get you. I want you to come home with me. I know better than anybody what you've been through,” Bradshaw asks the audience members to tell their younger selves.

"And if it scares you to leave with me, then you can stay here, I'll come visit you,” he continued. “But if you're willing to leave, go get your little bag packed." He then asked the audience to visualize themselves taking the child from the traumatic house and bringing them into a life of safety.

“You have to leave that home.”

“You have a power greater than your parents.”

“Welcome to the world; I'm so glad you're here.”

"We're gonna have fun together, and I love you just the way you are."

@chatswithchass
Just because someone is “family” doesnt mean they can treat someone anyways they want. #chatswithchass

Even though the episode first aired nearly 33 years ago, it still affects people in a deep way. Recently, the clip was shared on TikTok by Anonymousally98 as a post titled, "How I healed my wounded inner child in 7 minutes w an episode of Oprah."

The video received over 4 million views and got passionate responses from viewers.

"Bawled my eyes out. I needed this. Thank you so much for sharing," Kayresha Naidoo-Martin commented on the post. "I balled like a f***ing baby!! I had my husband and 2 boys waiting for me. I now see that I raise them the way I always wanted to be but never was," Ashlee Marine added.

"I brought my inner child around the corner to meet my son and see his face and how much he would have loved little me," Erika Michele wrote.

In hindsight, it’s beautiful that Winfrey had the tenacity in the dog-eat-dog world of daytime television to create programming that was not only entertaining but healing at the same time. It’s a testament to her incredible talents as a broadcaster and producer that, so many years later, her work still resonates with millions.

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Conflict expert shares the 1 phrase you can use to stop an argument from happening

It'll make people agree with you, too.

via Canva/Photos

A guy having a collaborative conversation.

The quickest way to stop having a constructive dialog with someone is when they become defensive. This usually results in them digging in their heels and making you defensive. This can result in a vicious cycle of back-and-forth defensive behavior that can feel impossible to break. Once that happens, the walls go up, the gloves come off and resolving the situation becomes tough.

Amanda Ripley, author of “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” says in her book that you can prevent someone you disagree with from becoming defensive by being curious about their opinion.

Ripley is a bestselling author and the co-founder of Good Conflict, a media and training company that helps people reimagine conflict.

How to have a constructive conversation

Let’s say you believe the room should be painted red and your spouse says it should be blue. Instead of saying, “I think blue is ugly,” you can say, “It’s interesting that you say that…” and ask them to explain why they chose blue.

The key phrase is: “It’s interesting that you say that…”

conversation, arguments, communication tips People coming to an agreement. via Canva/Photos

When you show the other person that you genuinely care about their thoughts and appreciate their reasoning, they let down their guard. This makes them feel heard and encourages them to hear your side as well. This approach also encourages the person you disagree with to consider coming up with a collaborative solution instead of arguing to defend their position.

It’s important to assume the other person has the best intentions while listening to them make their case. “To be genuinely curious, we need to refrain from judgment and making negative assumptions about others. Assume the other person didn’t intend to annoy you. Assume they are doing the best they can. Assume the very best about them. You’ll appreciate it when others do it for you,” Kaitlyn Skelly at The Ripple Effect Education writes.

Phrases you can use to avoid an argument

The curiosity approach can also involve affirming the other person’s perspective while adding your own, using a phrase like, “On the one hand, I see what you’re saying. On the other hand…”

Here are some other phrases you can use:

“I wonder if…”

“It’s interesting that you say that because I see it differently…”

“I might be wrong, but…”

“How funny! I had a different reaction…”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that! For me, though, it seems…”

“I think I understand your point, though I look at it a little differently…”

conversation, arguments, communication tips Two men high-fiving one another.via Canva/Photos

What's the best way to disagree with people?

A 2016 study from Yale University supports Ripley’s ideas. The study found that when people argue to “win,” they take a hard line and only see one correct answer in the conflict. Whereas those who want to “learn” are more likely to see that there is more than one solution to the problem. At that point, competition magically turns into collaboration.

“Being willing to hear out other perspectives and engage in dialogue that isn’t simply meant to convince the other person you’re right can lead to all sorts of unexpected insights,” psychologist and marketing Professor at Southern Methodist University tells CNBC.

In a world of strong opinions and differing perspectives, curiosity can be a superpower that helps you have more constructive conversations with those with whom you disagree. All it takes is a little humility and an open mind, and you can turn conflict into collaboration, building bridges instead of walls.

A small boat made by middle schoolers sailed across the ocean all the way to Norway

This is pretty much the coolest school project ever.

The Rye Riptide washed up on the shores of Norway.

This story brings a whole new meaning to the word friendship.

In October 2020, the middle schoolers of Rye Junior High, in Rye, New Hampshire, bid a bon voyage to their handmade mini-boat, which set sail off the coast of New Hampshire to who-knows-where.

Measuring only 5.5 feet, the “Rye Riptides” was indeed a small ship. It ran crewless, but carried a bountiful cargo of colorful artwork made by students, along with a GPS tracking device that reported the boat’s location … sometimes.

Cut to 462 days and 8,300 miles later, and what started out as a simple science project became a surprise discovery for some Norwegian sixth graders, and a fun new connection across the Atlantic.

Rye Junior High had partnered with Educational Passages, a nonprofit organization that aims to connect students around the world to the ocean and each other. Once the kit arrived, the kids started building while learning about ocean currents, science and math. However, science teacher Sheila Adams shares that the more artistic, right-brained activities equally found their way into the curriculum. “The students needed to use their writing skills to inform others about their mini-boat project, describe our school and town to people of other languages, just in case, and write requests to get the boat deployed,” she said in a release.

…not me feeling jealous of some middle schoolers right now…

COVID-19 nearly threatened to knock the Rye Riptides off its course. The boat had been constructed, but not yet decorated, when students were moved to taking class online. Then, there was the matter of launching the boat. Which Cassie Stymiest, director of Educational Passages, noted was “challenging with all the restrictions in place.” Luckily, creativity, resourcefulness and a little technology saved the day. Working remotely, each piece of art was done at home, then scanned, printed and made into a collage. Then, Ms. Stymiest connected with the Sea Education Association (SEA), which set the Rye Riptides on its journey.

Seriously, my inner child is geeking out with this stuff.

Would the boat make it to Europe? Rye student Solstice Reed wasn’t so sure. “Honestly, I thought it would sink,” she admitted to the Portsmouth Herald. Considering the boat was cruising the ocean waters during hurricane season, the skepticism was well-founded. During the more tumultuous periods, the GPS signal only came in intermittently. And for a long while, there was nothing but radio silence.

But then, at long last, on the small Norwegian island of Smøla, the Rye Riptides successfully made it to dry land. Sure, it was a bit dismantled and covered in barnacles, but inside, all the adorable trinkets remained intact. The Smøla students peered with wonder into their bounty of photos, signed facemasks, fall leaves, acorns and state quarters, gifts sent out almost two years ago.

The voyage of the small boat has gone viral in a big way, sailing across social media, and making headlines. And now, Educational Passages plans on facilitating video meet-ups between Rye Junior High and the school in Norway, “to continue building this new relationship to learn from each other and about the shared Atlantic Ocean between them.” Plus, NPR reports, the students of Smøla would be writing a letter to their new American friends.

Human connection found its way across the sea in the most wholesome and magical way. It’s really cool to see that educational programs like this exist, impacting both the hearts and minds of young students. Mission, successful.

This article originally appeared on 2.22.22

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This couple has the clingiest cat on Earth and people can't get enough of his cute demands

There are clingy cats—and then there's Chase.

@dontstopmeowing/TikTok

Chase might just be the clingiest cat ever.

Cats are quirky. We all know this.

But those of us who have had multiple cats throughout our lives know that some cats are quirkier than others. Maybe they like to sleep with their face in a shoe (true story). Maybe they won't stop tearing into bags of styrofoam packing peanuts and eating them, necessitating a shipping business to switch to cornstarch-based packaging (also true story). Maybe they can catch a crumpled-up piece of paper you toss into the air with their paws and bring it to you in their mouth like a dog playing fetch (awww, I miss that cat).

Or maybe their unique quirk is that they have to be velcroed to someone's body every minute of every day.

That's Chase the cat in a nutshell—super sweet, but super clingy.

Chase belongs to Kareem and Fifi of the TikTok channel @dontstopmeowing, who have become internet famous for their three very chill cats. Their "spaw day" videos showing how their cats—Chase, Skye and Millie—get pampered went viral last year, and they've gained a huge following sharing life with their cats.

All three are adorable, but Chase—oh, Chase is a special one. I've seen some clingy cats before, but nothing like this.

Watch:

@dontstopmeowing
Same Cat, Diff Day #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

Literally clingy, as in "won't stop clinging to the human." How many cats like to be carried around like a baby? Not many, I'd guess.

@dontstopmeowing
Not exactly your average kitty #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

When Chase wants Mommy, chase wants Mommy.

@dontstopmeowing
Where did he learn to be so clingy? 😭 #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

Of course, Chase doesn't always want Mommy. Sometimes it's Daddy's turn for all the lovin'.

@dontstopmeowing
😔💔 #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

Fifi shares videos of her attempting to train the clinginess out of Chase, which are hilarious. This one has been viewed 57 million times.

@dontstopmeowing
This is why he rips my clothes 😭 #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

She even dubbed the viral audio of a toddler video—"I just a baby!"—that fits perfectly with Chase's huggy antics.

@dontstopmeowing
He really thinks he’s a baby #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

Oh Chase. You're just too much.

@dontstopmeowing
I can’t stop laughing 😭 #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

And just because it's so dang cute, check out this video of Chase meeting a baby for the first time. (Warning: Wicked adorable baby giggles incoming. Hold onto your ovaries if you have 'em.)

@dontstopmeowing
Who’s reaction was your favorite? #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

You can follow Kareem, Fifi, Chase, Skye and Millie on TikTok and YouTube.

This article originally appeared on 4.13.22

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Mom admits she isn't perfect in a hilarious 'back-to-school’ sign she made for herself

She was done before the first day even started.

via Pexels

First day of school can be exhausting … but for who?

It’s back-to-school time and that means new school supplies, a trip to Target for clothes and social media channels flooded with photos of kids holding chalkboards. Over the past decade, back-to-school photos with kids standing on their doorsteps with signs with their name, grade, year and teacher have been ubiquitous on social media.

There’s nothing wrong with the photos, they’re a cute way for parents and kids to mark the passage of time. For most parents, it’s a way to remember that it all goes by way too fast.

However, for the “perfect” parents out there who like to flaunt their Instagrammable lifestyle, they’re another way to show off their “flawless” first days on social media.

In an attempt to show parents they don't have to fall for the myth of perfection on social media, Jeni Bukolt—a mother of two boys age 8 and 12 from Waxhaw, North Carolina—posted a first-day photo of herself looking burnt out and wearing sunglasses. School hadn’t even begun yet.

"Mom's first day of school,” the handmade sign read. "I am 42 years tired. I'll probably miss a school 'theme' day. I really like sleep. Please don't ask me to volunteer. But I will buy you supplies."

See on Instagram

"I make signs for my kids each year but lately I've thought about how I always feel behind, as though I'm failing (in some way)," Bukolt told Today. Clearly, other parents feel the same because it was a hit with a lot of them on Instagram.

A lot of comments were from parents who thought the photo was a breath of fresh air during a stressful time of year. "Brilliant, you speak for millions!" cathycole wrote. "May we all survive the drop off/pick up lane," merakifitnessandpole added.

"I thought maybe if I can create a lighthearted moment, some other moms will laugh and understand we're all in this kind of struggle together. Like, let's have empathy for each other," Bukolt told Good Morning America.

Bukolt hopes her post builds an “empathy bridge” between parents. She’d also like to shine a little reality on the parents who feel judged on social media.

"I also feel like when you look at social media, there's all these, [picture perfect] worlds,” she added. “It's not the true story. And some people think like, 'Oh, they have it better or they're perfect,' and this is an opportunity to say no, we're all real human beings ... we're all in the struggle together."

But of course, there were some humorless parents who thought her post wasn’t supportive of teachers or her two sons. So Bukolt made a follow-up where she explained that she was just having fun.

“For the keyboard warriors… yes I do have a job, yes I love my kids and no, I don’t hate teachers. Back to work. Have a great day!” she wrote.

See on Instagram

Parenting is hard and we all fall short of glory at times. Kudos to Bukolt for making us feel a little less alone and letting us know that some folks have already accepted their imperfections on the first day.

"If other moms can get a good laugh about it, then that makes my heart happy," she said.

This article originally appeared on 9.2.22

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Woman discovers her tireless dog has secretly been playing fetch with the neighbors

Bounder is living the good life.

via brittneygoes/tiktok

Bounder playing fetch with his neighbor.

Every dog is different when it comes to playing fetch. Some have zero interest in playing, while others are obsessed with the game and won’t stop playing until their human friends force them to stop.

There are a lot of reasons why dogs love to play fetch. First, most dogs are genetically predisposed to chasing after objects that move, whether it’s a car or a squirrel. They also instinctually bring back prey to their dens.

“After a hunt, sometimes the wolf will carry the prey back to the den to be consumed safely with the pack, essentially ‘retrieving’ dinner for the family,” Katelyn Schutz, Certified Professional Dog Trainer of Wisconsin Pet Care, said according to BarkPost. “The game of fetch in our pet dogs is suggested to be a simple variation of this ‘prey-carrying’ behavior.”

Fetch also stimulates the reward centers in a dog’s brain, so once they get started playing they don’t want to stop. Bounder, Brittney Reynolds’ black Labrador, can’t get enough of catching and retrieving a tennis ball.

“He’s obsessed,” Reynolds told The Dodo. “He will play fetch until I make him stop.”

@brittneygoes
He brings it back to the edge of the fence. #blacklab #doglover #SeeHerGreatness

Bounders' obsession with the game led him to ask Reynolds’ neighbor to play fetch with him when she wouldn’t. She discovered the game had been going on in secret one day when she went outside to see why Bounder was barking and discovered he was asking the neighbor to play with him.

“The neighbor was sitting on his back patio with the ball gun on the table, and Bounder was staring him down and barking at him wanting to play,” Reynolds said. “I tried to tell him to stop barking, but the neighbor got up and started shooting the ball gun for him. It was just so cute. I went and thanked him for playing with my boy and found out that they had been doing this for a while.”

The neighbors had a ball gun to play fetch with their dog, Layla.

Reynolds shared a wholesome video of Bounder and the neighbor playing together and it went viral receiving over 6.8 million views. “Just found out my neighbor and my dog have been playing fetch together over the fence,” she captioned the video.

Some commenters thought the game was great for the dog and the neighbor, too. "I just watched all your videos on this and I'm in love with this story! Your dogs have new grandparents and they have a reason to stay active," Monica wrote.

"I hope that you know that allowing this is making that man’s day. You are a great neighbor and humanitarian. Thank you," another user wrote.

@brittneygoes
Caught the neighbor playing with a Bounder again. He looks forward to this. #goodneighbors #doglovers #Totinos425

“I am a huge dog lover, and it always makes me happy to see others treating dogs so well,” Reynolds said about her neighbor.

“Our dogs are our family, and I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals.” Reynolds shared a follow-up video that showed the over-the-fence fetch game is still happening.

This article originally appeared on 5.2.22

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