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One woman's quest to show displaced, stateless kids their lives are worth celebrating

One woman's quest to show displaced, stateless kids their lives are worth celebrating
Pauline Tee/Annie Reneau

As we board the rental van in front of our hotel in Mae Sot, Thailand, the leader of our group, Pauline, notices a dog wandering in the street. It's not an unusual sight—stray dogs roam everywhere here—but this mutt looks particularly mangey. "Oh, that poor dog!" Pauline says. "When we get back, I'll see if I can bring him something to eat."


This is Pauline Tee in a nutshell: compulsively compassionate and immediately thoughtful. The friend we share in common had described her as "a sweetheart," but that was an understatement. Pauline is someone who puts her energy, time, and money where her heart is, with a pure generosity that makes you believe humanity has a decent chance after all.

Pauline tee has spent nine years serving displaced and stateless Burmese kids in Mae Sot, ThailandPhoto courtesy of Pauline Tee

As we set off for one of the three Burmese schools we'll be visiting this week, Pauline goes over what we'll be doing and who we'll be seeing. Mae Sot sits along the Thai side of the border between Thailand and Burma (also known as Myanmar) and is home to tens of thousands of Burmese people of varying statuses. Many are refugees who fled their homeland during several decades of civil war and unrest. Some belong to ethnic groups who are persecuted in Myanmar. Some are migrant workers who legally or illegally make their living on this side of the border, contributing to cheap labor in Thailand.

And thousands are displaced children—some orphaned, some stateless—whose well-being depends on adults willing to help them and whose future depends on getting an education.

Burmese school in Mae Sot, ThailandAnnie Reneau

"Stateless" is a strange status to have as a human being. In the simplest terms, it means having no official nationality, no identifying documents to prove what country you belong to. Without such documentation, it's often difficult or impossible to access resources, qualify for aid programs, or receive support from official sources. Statelessness can occur under various circumstances, but the end result is a sort of humanitarian limbo where people have few options, and children in particular are vulnerable to trafficking, exploitation, and abuse.

The Burmese migrant schools in Mae Sot give displaced and stateless kids a safe place to learn. But they are also challenged by the poverty and instability that mark the lives of children they serve. Pauline, who is originally from Malaysia and now works for an international bank in Singapore, got connected with some of these schools nearly ten years ago on a volunteer trip with colleagues. Since then, she has returned to Mae Sot at least twice a year, and single-handedly created several programs for children here.

One morning, we go to the Thai/Burmese border, where a large, colorful marketplace sells clothes and trinkets, and a line of duty free shops sells mostly cigarettes. Pauline points out an area just beyond the shops, a strip of land between the countries known as "No man's land." Both countries claim jurisdiction over this area, but neither country effectively polices it. Hundreds of stateless Burmese people, including children, live here in makeshift huts made of plastic tarps draped over rudimentary wood structures. Though Thai soldiers loosely monitor it during the day, lawlessness, drug deals, and child exploitation go largely unchecked.

RELATED: She can't study or start a family all because of what happened at 15.

"I just can't walk away from the children after learning their living condition is as such," Pauline says. "The only way I can describe it is just like if you saw an injured person on the road, you just can't walk away from the person without helping them. And that kept me going back to Mae Sot again and again and again."

A glimpse of "No man's land" between Thailand and MyanmarPhoto by Annie Reneau

With the help of her partner, Fun (pronounced just like the English word), Pauline has spent the past decade pouring time and resources into serving these kids. She's set up a Lunch Every Day program at several schools, to ensure that kids get a nutritious lunch at least each weekday. She sponsors Burmese kids to go to Thai school, assisting with fees and transportation, to give them greater educational opportunities. And she organizes big birthday bashes—complete with cake, presents, games, and music—to celebrate the lives of these kids, some of whom have no idea what day they were born.

Twice a year, Pauline invites friends and acquaintances to meet in Mae Sot to help put on these events. Our small band of birthday volunteers includes people from Singapore, Hong Kong, Indonesia, and the U.S. We are also joined by a 19-year-old Burmese college student named Jo Jo, who grew up in one of these schools and now returns to help Pauline with the birthday parties. Our job is to take care of logistics, help with organized games and activities, light candles on hundreds of cupcakes, hand out goody bags and t-shirts, and generally provide a day of celebration for the kids.

Jo Jo, a former Burmese migrant school student, returns each year to help translate and organize birthday activities Photo by Annie Reneau

The first day we visit the largest school—230 kids—and Jo Jo brings a dozen or so Burmese teenagers with him to translate and help organize games. After spending just a few hours with Jo Jo, it's clear that he's an extraordinary young man—a natural and likable leader. Pauline first met him when he was 10, and she was impressed by his innate confidence even then. (He was one of the first students to call her "Pauline" instead of the standard "Teacher.") He got a scholarship from an Australian NGO to go to university in Myanmar, where he's currently studying International Relations.

Jo Jo says he loves coming back to help Pauline put on the birthday events. "The annual birthday party is such a great party for refugee kids," he tells me in English, "because the kids can know how important they are." He has started organizing a similar program himself at an orphanage in Myanmar.

Birthday fun at Burmese school in Mae Sot, ThailandPhoto by Annie Reneau

Knowing the vulnerable status of these kids, Pauline decided from the beginning that if she was going to do these birthday events, she would return to the same schools each year without fail. She will only add a new school to the program if she's 100% sure she'll be able to keep it up, and that long-term commitment has paid off. Kids at the five schools she supports—close to 600 children—look forward to Pauline's birthday parties the same way kids everywhere look forward to their birthday.

Birthday celebration at Burmese school in Mae Sot, ThailandPhoto by Scott Smiley

"A lot of people call us 'The Happy Group,' says Pauline. "I used to call ourselves the 'Independent Volunteers' [because] we don't belong to any NGO. We're just a group of volunteers who want to bring happiness or joy, no matter how little, to these kids so we can make their lives just a little bit better."

However, she points out that the birthday parties aren't just about providing a day of fun. "Celebrating a birthday is a celebration of our existence in the world. So for these kids, when we do the birthday program, it actually has a larger meaning than just celebration and fun and joy and goody bags and snacks. It's actually a celebration of their existence." It lets them know they are not only seen, but valued as human beings.

For three days, we throw birthday celebrations for about 430 kids, ranging in age from preschool to high school. I note that most of the kids wear some sort of school uniform, but some have put on their best dress-up clothes for the occasion. Most also wear a traditional skincare product called thanakha—a paste made of ground tree bark that's used as a sunscreen and skin softener—on their faces. Burmese people of all ages wear thanakha daily, a distinguishing feature that makes them stand out in Thailand.

As a trained teacher, I've been around a lot of children. No matter where you go, kids are always kids. Within an hour, I could spot which kids in each age group were the teacher's pets, which ones were the class clowns, which ones were shy at first but would warm up as they got more comfortable. I saw the silliness, teasing, and expressions of friendship you'd see in any large group of children. I watched teenage boys be teenage boys, challenging one another to arm wrestling competitions, alternating between being goofy and shy.

Preschool classroom at Burmese school in Mae Sot, ThailandPhoto by Annie Reneau

What I couldn't see, of course, was which kids hadn't eaten, which kids had been orphaned, and which kids were being exploited or abused before or after school. We know that's reality for some of these children, and as much as we wish we could, we can't change their individual circumstances. That's why Pauline does what she does—to show them that they have not been forgotten by the world.

"The very first time being exposed to the true meaning of being stateless and displaced in a foreign country, I saw how vulnerable they are," says Pauline. "The other thing is they are children. They're not strong enough to protect themselves. They are purely at the mercy of the world, the adults in the situation they are in, and that keeps me going."

Pauline knows, of course, that Burmese kids in Mae Sot are not the only children in need. But she chooses to focus on this one place and these specific kids so she can make an impact. She says:

"I know that there are so many children who are vulnerable. There are lots everywhere...I just happened to have met them first. If I had gone to Indonesia or Cambodia and met a group there, maybe I would do the same. But I went there. I met the kids. I learned about the children and decided to help. Instead of doing a little bit here and there, I wanted to focus my energy on one place. Already in this one place, the needs are just enormous and I can't cover everyone. I might as well focus on this one door so that it's more sustainable rather than going all over the place. That's why I keep going back to them."

Fun helps Pauline to keep her programs running. As a stress management coach by profession, he's also added a social/emotional component to their work with the children. "We need to give a lot more psychological support to these kids, because they don't get any," says Pauline. Fun brought in a self-mastery program and hired a local teacher to help implement it. He Skypes in with students on a monthly basis, and they've gotten positive feedback on the program from kids and teens who say they've gain strength, self-awareness, and emotional tools to help them cope with their challenges.

RELATED: Millions of refugees live in limbo. Here's one initiative offering hope and purpose.

I ask Pauline if she's considered consolidating her efforts into an official NGO. She says she's thought about it, but the stateless status of the children and some of the adults she works with means she would hit funding road blocks. Companies want to avoid situations where they can't determine exactly where funding is going, and with some of the services Pauline helps with, that's a problem. For example, at some schools, a driver picks up kids at the border and drives them to school each day. Sometimes the driver might be a stateless person themselves, who may or may not have a legal driver's license. They may have to bribe the police every month to get the kids to school—that's just the way things are done here—but no organization would be able to support that officially.

Some kids are picked up at the border and dropped off at schoolPhoto by Annie Reneau

Pauline is also worried that running an official organization would take energy away from what she does best, which is to serve the children directly. So she keeps her fundraising efforts personal, pays for the majority of their projects from her own pocket, and oversees her programs herself. "I know there are certain activities that will drain me," she says, so she sticks with what works and what she can keep up with in her free time. Though her successful banking career is an accomplishment in its own right, she now sees it as a means to one end—funding programs that help the stateless, displaced kids that live in Mae Sot lead healthier, happier lives.

"I say it's a calling," she says. "I found my passion with children. I know what to do now. My job is just a job to finance my work with children."

I look at Pauline and think of the many unsung heroes out there—people working at the grassroots level, helping specific groups of people in specific areas, without fanfare or recognition. Seeing her in generosity in action is humbling, and I don't know whether I feel more ashamed or inspired by her selflessness. All I know is that the world could use a whole lot more people just like her.

If you'd like to support Pauline's efforts, a GoFundMe has been organized to help fund the birthday and lunch programs for the schools she serves in Mae Sot. A few dollars here goes a long way there.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
True

In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.


“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.


argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

Humor

Olympic curling gets humor treatment as people recreate the bizarrely riveting sport at home

Using everything from Roombas to babies, people are embracing the joy of curling.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports

Curling has become a surprisingly popular Olympic sport.

When curling became an official Olympic sport in 1998, it was met with a fair amount of curiosity and confusion, at least among people outside Canada, Scotland, and the Scandinavian countries where it has long been a winter sport tradition. Without an explanation of what's happening, curling can look downright bizarre: large stones sliding across the ice toward a target, while people vigorously sweep the ice in front of them as the person who threw the stone yells unintelligibly.

It's not obvious what skills are required for curling just by watching, which initially led people to poke fun at the event. More recent Olympic Games, however, have seen interest in curling grow as people find the sport strangely riveting. Now, curling has reached even greater heights of popularity, as evidenced by satirical curling-at-home videos popping up on social media.


Many of them use a combo of a Roomba and a Swiffer, which works perfectly:

Why Swiffer is not the official sponsor of all Olympic curling events is a mystery.

Some creators take it a little further, adding in the yelling component:


@amanda_carluccio

We’re now professional athletes. 🏅🇺🇸 #curling #usa #winterolympics #olympics #thecarluccios

Others use different household items, like a teapot, for a curling stone and add commentary:

@breanneallarie

Kitchen curling 🥌 I’m ready @Olympics #milanocortina2026 #roadtotheolympics #teamcanada #olympiccurling

And believe it or not, someone even used a baby as a curling stone, with the caption, "When new dads in Canada are left unsupervised."

So how exactly did we get here?

The history of curling

No one knows the exact origins of curling, but there is evidence of the sport (or something like it) being played by monks on frozen lakes and ponds in Scotland in the 16th century. Farmers would join in curling games during the winter months, and as the sport evolved through the 1800s, it became more organized. Rules were formalized, and people began traveling to watch and participate in competitions held outdoors in large Scottish cities. The Scots eventually took the sport with them to other countries, and by the 1900s, curling had transformed from a Scottish outdoor pastime into an international, mostly indoor sport.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How does curling work as a sport?

Curling is played by two teams of four, with each team aiming to get its eight stones closest to the center of a target called a "house." Teams alternate "throwing" their stones, which really means gliding them along the ice. Sweepers brush the ice to help guide the stones, while the team captain, or "skip," gives directions, often by yelling, to place the stones where they want them to go.

After all 16 stones are thrown, the team with a stone closest to the center of the house scores one point for each of its stones that landed inside the house. The other team does not score at all in that round, called an "end." There are eight or 10 ends per game, depending on the event, and the team with the most points after all the ends have been played is the winner.

Here's a visual explainer that goes through the basics:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fun facts about curling

Tara Peterson of the USA Curling National Team shared some interesting facts about curling with Columbia Sportswear:

  • Modern curling stones are made of granite that comes from only two places: a quarry in Wales and an uninhabited island off the coast of Scotland called Ailsa Craig.
  • Curling is called curling because of the way the stone curves depending on how it's spun, but exactly how that happens is still a bit of a scientific mystery. Curling stones actually move in the opposite direction of what the turn would normally dictate according to physics.
  • Despite the yelling, curling is considered a polite "gentleman's" sport, with traditional etiquette rules observed before and after the game.
  • Though it may not be immediately obvious, you have to be in pretty good shape to curl. Throwing a 42-pound stone, even on ice, isn't as easy as it looks, and the person throwing it must remain crouched close to the ground for long periods. Sweeping also requires arm strength and cardiovascular endurance.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports Curling requires more athleticism than it first appears.Photo credit: Canva

  • Curlers wear two different shoes, one designed for gripping the ice and the other for sliding. The slider sole is made of Teflon or stainless steel, while the grippy sole is made of rubber.
  • Curling is called the "roaring game," which might sound odd, but the sound of the stones gliding over the ice is apparently much louder in person than it sounds on TV.

Every sport is more fun to watch when you actually know what you're seeing, and curling is no exception. If you're wondering who to watch, Canada has traditionally dominated the sport, though Sweden trails by only two medals in total Olympic curling medals. And if you're curious how Scotland fares as the original home of the sport, its curlers compete under Great Britain's flag.

japan, japanese greetings, language, linguistics, literal translations

Japanese greetings translated into English are pretty entertaining.

Learning another language is important for many reasons, not the least of which is to increase our understanding of other cultures and different ways of communicating. No matter what language you learn in addition to your native one, you'll find that many words and phrases don't necessarily translate directly. Some languages have expressions that literally don't translate into English, and some things that do translate end up sounding hilariously odd.

Linguistic differences are wild, as evidenced by certified Japanese teacher Hikari's video demonstrating what Japanese introductions would sound like if they were translated literally into English.


japanese, linguistics, greetings, japan, language learning, literal translations When you meet someone in Japan for the first time, you say "hajimemashite," which literally translates as "first time."Photo credit: Canva

One of the first greetings you learn in Japanese is "hajimemashite," which is generally interpreted as "Nice to meet you," or "How do you do"—something you say when you meet someone. But the literal meaning of the phrase is "at the beginning" or "first time," which of course sounds odd in English. (Similarly to if you were to literally translate "How's it going?" from English to another language, the understood meaning of "How are you feeling right now?" wouldn't come through, since the words "it' and "going" have nothing to do with how you're feeling.)

Then there are name introductions, which seem like they should just be straight-up names, but aren't because of what they mean. "I'm Under the Forest." "I'm Inside the Field." Huh? And wait til you see how they share their ages. Watch:

- YouTube youtu.be

To make things a little clearer, the name "Under the Forest" is almost certainly Morishita, a common last name in Japan (Japanese people generally introduce themselves by last name). The translation "under the forest" comes from Chinese characters used in Japanese, Kanji, that most Japanese last names are written in. Morishita is 森下 in Kanji, with 森 (mori) meaning "forest" and 下 (shita) meaning "below" or "under." "Inside the Field" would be the name Tanaka, with a similar explanation, but with different characters.

As far as ages go, that's a whole other cultural quirk. In Japan, time is separated into imperial eras based on whoever the emperor is, and each era has a name. "Shining harmony 63" means she was born in 1989, or the 63rd year of the Shōwa ("shining harmony") era. Moons are months, and days are, well, days.

japan, japanese calendar, measuring time, japanese translations, linguistics Sharing your age in Japan involves a whole other way of measuring time.Photo credit: Canva

Japan is the only country where Japanese is an official language, but thanks to the tech boom there in the 80s and 90s—and the rise of the popularity of anime worldwide—the Japanese language has seen a continually growing interest outside the archipelago nation. According to Britannica, there are around 127 million Japanese speakers worldwide, with some 1.5 million Japanese immigrants (and their descendants) living in parts of North and South America with "varying degrees of proficiency in Japanese."

(Side note: Having studied Japanese myself, I can attest that it's a very fun language to learn. The alphabets and Kanji are the hardest parts—the phonetics are consistent and the grammar is quite logical, with far fewer exceptions to the rules than English.)

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Hikari offers Japanese lessons on her YouTube channel, Japanese with Hikari and shares more about Japanese culture in her Hikari Sensei podcast episodes, like the one above about Japanese toilets. You can also sign up for her newsletter, chock full of motivational posts, encouragement, and resources to keep subscribers motivated to learn Japanese.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.


Jeff Tweedy, Wilco, karaoke, viral video, music
Photo credit: Susan Miller Tweedy

Jeff Tweedy sings his own song at karaoke.

On a January evening at a restaurant in Mexico, El Jefe patiently waited for his name to be called by the karaoke host. When it was, he gently walked to the stage in a pink baseball hat and black, thick-rimmed glasses. As he approached, the host gave him instructions on how to use the microphone. "You've got to hold it up here and just don't yell in the mic," he said, illustrating as El Jefe humbly listened.

He then proceeded to sing "Jesus, Etc." almost better than its original singer, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. There's a reason for that: El Jefe, as it turns out, is Jeff Tweedy.


The song is track five on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which was released in 2002. According to the liner notes, it was written by Tweedy and Jay Bennett, a former member of the band who passed away in 2009. Pitchfork hailed the tune as "the 61st best song of the decade," which is high praise, especially considering how much excellent indie-rock music was coming out at the time.

Stereogum's Chris DeVille wrote about the album's 20th anniversary, noting that Wilco streamed it at no charge. "A bold and uncommon move at that time, and one that probably made the album sound even more experimental for those with dial-up internet connections," he wrote. DeVille added, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is THE Wilco album — the one that cemented their stature as one of the all-time great American rock bands."

There's a kind of perfection to Tweedy singing his own song at karaoke, and not just because it conjures so many memories for Wilco fans. Watching Tweedy in a Clark Kent–like, plainclothed role, when most fans know he can become Superman at any given moment, is something extra special.

www.youtube.com

Fans in the Instagram comments agreed.

"You guys are the coolest famous non-famous people ever," one person wrote. "How surreal. To write a song, make a record with that song (and many more) on it, and become well known in certain circles for that song and all the other songs, have that song turned into a karaoke selection because it has become that level of popularity, then sing that song like you're an everyday schmuck just doing karaoke one night on vacation, it's just…"

Another person described the scene and how lovely it all was: "My heart needed this. The children playing, palm trees swaying in the neon lights, that super fun 'Ladies' sign, a few enthusiastic 'woos' and a happy, humble El Jefe. Good stuff!"

One fan loved that Tweedy seemed to go unnoticed by the karaoke host. "My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone," they wrote. Another person replied, "And the 'Jeffiest' reaction of playing it totally cool, no ego, totally kind, respecting the KJ's 'authority.' The least 'Do you have any idea who I am?' energy possible."

One comment summed up the many layers of coolness on display: "This is beautiful on so many levels. I always thought you 'made it' when your song ended up in a karaoke machine. Here it is, yet (maybe) no one knows him or the song — and that's perfectly fine with him. For that, I'm so happy for him. What a gift of a moment that must have been: to be respected, successful and famous without the bad fame part. That's the sweet spot. Just to put your hand in your pocket and sing your song for yourself and your family."

Upworthy had the honor of chatting with Tweedy's wife, Susan, who provided a little context for the evening. It all happened following this year's Sky Blue Sky festival, an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico featuring a musical lineup that included Dinosaur Jr., The Jayhawks, and, of course, Wilco.

"So after Jeff's festival, Sky Blue Sky, we stayed in the general area at a rental house for a few days to unwind," she said. "That night we were at La Buena Vida, a restaurant that apparently does karaoke every Wednesday evening."

Susan noted that she and their kids egged him on: "The kids and I told Jeff he should do it! He's never done it before, but it was all families and little kids running around, and we all thought it would be fun and funny! Our son Sammy checked to see if there were any Wilco songs available to do, and there were! We signed him up, and I think he was the last one to make it on for the night."

When asked whether Jeff was recognized, the answer was surprising.

"Nobody recognized him, although I did see a post a couple days later of someone who said they were there and that they were pretty sure it was him," she said. "But nobody said a word, and people were still talking and running around and mostly ignoring the karaoke during his whole song, just like for everybody else! It was really fun for all of us!!"

Mental Health

Man who created 'Reasons to Stay' website after brother's death, tearfully shares success story

People can write a letter to a stranger and be their reason to stay another day.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay

Tearful man with head in his hands being comforted.

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Mental illnesses like depression don't discriminate. It can hit anyone, and not everyone survives their fight with the condition. Ben West, a man from the United Kingdom, has intimate familiarity with what happens when someone loses their battle with depression. He lost his younger brother, Sam, to suicide eight years ago.


In an effort to help with his own grieving process and connect with those who may feel alone, he created a website. The video launching the site Reasons to Stay went viral due to its touching story and noble mission. It's a website that allows people from across the world to leave letters of encouragement to people who may be contemplating suicide. The hope is that someone needing a reason to stay one more day will find their reason in one of those letters.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Comfort in a hug: a shared moment of empathy and support.Photo credit: Canva

The website is simple: it displays the latest letter on the home page, offers sign ups for letters to go directly to your email in the form of a newsletter, and shares places to seek help. If someone wants to read a different letter, all they need to do is refresh the page.

"This letter was written by someone in the world that cares. It was delivered to you at random when you opened this page," the Reasons to Stay website explains.

The creation of this website was strictly an act of compassion for fellow humans, but recently, West received an email revealing that his site saved a life. The website's founder wept while sharing the news on his Instagram page, saying, "I got a message today, and I'm not going to share the message, but what I can share is that it worked. It worked for someone. We can be fairly confident that it really worked for someone."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay A comforting hug during an emotional moment.Photo credit: Canva

He admits that the person still has a difficult journey ahead, but celebrates that they get to continue on at all. "Like I said before, social media, it can be such a bad place, but how amazing that it can be used for something like this. Like, that person, maybe it wouldn't reach them if it didn't go viral, so thank you so much, everyone, for sharing and getting involved in this over the last couple of weeks. What a special thing. What an amazing thing. It worked."

According to the Centers for Disease Control, "One person dies by suicide an average of every 11 minutes. Over 49,000 people lost their lives to suicide in 2022. Every year, millions of Americans think about, plan, or attempt suicide."

In August 2025, JAMA Network released an article urging people to consider human connection as a form of suicide prevention. The authors of the article share that there's power in human connection, writing, "At a time when individuals experiencing suicidality often feel unseen, unheard, and burdensome, structured follow-up sends a clear message: you matter. You are not forgotten."

Reasons to Stay is putting human connection at the forefront in hopes of saving lives. People are moved by his selfless gesture, with some sharing their own stories of survival. One person shares, "From someone who tried to, this is essential. Wish I had that back then. Will definitely use your site if those thoughts ever come back to me. I’m so proud of you, and so is Sam. We’re safer now."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Woman seated against brick wall, covering ears with hands.Photo credit: Canva

Another writes, "My dad took his own life. I wish he could’ve had a website like this to go to. I am sobbing happy tears to know that someone’s life was saved, and I'm also so incredibly sorry for your loss. I understand the ache— but you made something beautiful for your brother."

"You may or may not be familiar with David Kessler’s “The sixth stage of grief,” but in that book he suggests that the 6th stage is: finding meaning. You’ve created meaning by saving others. Sam’s spirit and legacy lives on through you and his life and death now means, not just something to you, but something to many others around the world. What an absolutely beautiful and healing way to honour Sam, and what a gift this is to the world. Thank you Sam. Thank you Ben. So special. So powerful," someone else kindly shares.