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Older generations are put off by the 'Gen Z stare.' Here's why it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Gen Z is exposing older generations without saying a word.

gen z; gen z stare; Millennials; gen z social skills; social skills; screen time; small talk
Photo credit: Canva

Here's why the 'Gen Z stare' isn't necessarily a bad thing

Everyone's talking about the "Gen Z stare." There's even a debate between Gen Z and other generations on what the phenomenon is. Gen Z says it's their customer service look when a customer asks them a ridiculous question like "is there ice in the iced tea," but people who have experienced it report otherwise.

According to older generations, they're referring to the younger folks as simply staring at customers with a neutral face instead of greeting a customer before taking an order. This deadpan look also occurs when a customer tries to make small talk while ordering food or shopping for items in a retail situation. But it's not necessarily a bad thing and doesn't always mean something is developmentally amiss.

 gen z; gen z stare; Millennials; gen z social skills; social skills; screen time; small talk Close-up portrait with an intense gaze.Photo credit: Canva

To some it confirms that Gen Z is socially awkward or lacks the social skills to succeed in the workforce. Other people contribute the seemingly odd silence to the generation being exposed to screens at an early age, while some say it's due to the pandemic. As a therapist who has worked with Gen Z, there may be more to unpack around the older generations' reactions to the stare than there is about the stare itself.

Generations from the Silent Generation down to Millennials have been raised to speak to people when spoken to, even if you don't want to or you don't particularly like the other person. Not speaking, especially to older people or in a customer service setting was often described as being rude. There was a lot of emphasis put on performing niceness in public or in front of company. This social expectation also transferred into the workplace, which is may be why many older people feel like Gen Z is lacking an important social skill.

 
 @itsparkerbabe ♬ original sound - It’s Parker Babe 
 
 

In my experience working with younger people, it's not that they don't have the social skill to have these interactions. Many Gen Z simply don't see the point in performing social niceties with strangers or people they don't plan to build community with. They're not uncomfortable with silence, awkward or otherwise. When I've had Gen Z clients, they're cordial and engaged but when we're at a point in the session that calls for silence, they don't shy away from it.

On the other hand when I see older generations, moments of silent processing are often cut short and filled with small talk. Even when redirected older generations appear to struggle more with silence. It could be avoidance of uncomfortable feelings in the moment, worry they'll be judged by the therapist or feeling that they're not fully utilizing their therapy session if moments of silence seem too long. Some feel that they need to make use of all of their time, unable to turn off the hustle.

 gen z; gen z stare; Millennials; gen z social skills; social skills; screen time; small talk Woman in a stylish fashion store with shoe and handbag displays.Photo credit: Canva

Another interesting observation from raising Gen Z kids as an elder Millennial and working with them professionally–we raised them. One common thing that was repeated in friend groups and therapy sessions is that Millennials and Gen Xers hated when their parents forced social interactions upon them. Because of this, many of the people in my age cohort didn't force their children to speak to strangers or make small talk with children or people the child didn't like.

Could the "Gen Z stare" be a product of our own doing? Is it a combination of them being comfortable in silence and not seeing the point in surface level conversations? I do think it's the latter. Gen Z is much more collectivist and community focused seeking out deeper connections while avoiding meaningless small talk. Of course this doesn't apply to every Gen Zer, some love to chat and would have zero problem talking to their own reflection. Some are completely comfortable with getting through their shift with as little social interaction as humanly possible even if they're in a customer facing position.

 
 @talking2myphone Ngl I always leave restaurants when I get the gen z stare of a waiter at the front 😭 #GenZStare ♬ original sound - 😽🫶🏽 
 
 

Being comfortable in silence is not only important in therapy, it is important in life. While placing your order with someone who didn't greet you isn't likely to cause an existential crisis, maybe sitting with and working through the discomfort the interaction did cause isn't a bad thing.

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If you see a person and two dogs in this photo, look again. It's an optical illusion.

It takes a while to see it, but there aren't two dogs in the photo.

@Rainmaker1973/X, @farhadge/X

If you see a man and two dogs, look again.

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're looking at. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees, to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner. Turn the photo every which way and it's still the same conclusion. That's a person and two dogs, right?

 

But there are not two dogs in the photo. There are actually three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the "person" actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated? The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out. This outline helps somewhat:

 

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious. One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

 

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

 

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us. They say seeing is believing, but when what we interpret what we're seeing incorrectly, we end up believing things that might not be real.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though. Also a good reminder that what we think we see, even with our own eyes, may not be an accurate picture of reality.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Gen Z manager shares the time-off requests she's rejected, and people are here for it

This is a refreshing approach to leadership.

@bunchesofbeggs/TikTok

This Manager thinks PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a million different ways—by being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

Part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.

Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects. ”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs

Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans

 

Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when one employee—a parent—was “up all night” with their sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs

Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military

 

Another said, “The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders. One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicators), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs

If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff

 

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity—it, in fact, enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

This article originally appeared in March.

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85-year-old woman in senior home brings down the house with Fleetwood Mac 'Landslide' cover

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Cecily Knobler

A woman sings "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac at karaoke.

On a hot Sunday in July, Carole Wade took the mic at a Dallas senior living facility where my mom lives. I happened to be visiting for the karaoke event, and the list of residents who couldn't wait to put their stamps on their favorite tunes was so long, the event had to be extended. ABBA's "Mamma Mia," David Lee Roth's "Just a Gigolo"—you name it, they sang it.

When it was Wade's turn, the microphone was brought to her table. She took it in her hands as though it was an extension of her fingers as the music cued up. Then, as she began to effortlessly sing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac, the room got still. Frozen. All eyes were on her, and most of those eyes were wet. The lyrics, so beautifully fitting:

"Well, I've been afraid of changin'
'Cause I've built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder,
Even children get older,
I'm getting old too."

A man sitting at our table took notice of how emotional I had become. He leaned over to say, "Never stop feeling the music."

I had the honor of chatting with Wade, who at 85, has been singing nearly her whole life. She got started in the business as a backup singer in Elvis impersonator groups in Dallas and surrounding areas. In and out of bands, playing Deep Ellum clubs and local hotels, she shares, "I've been singing since I was a small child. I've loved music all my life."

As luck would have it, she was at a jam session when she started harmonizing with other musicians. They would soon form her most recent band, Psychedelic Oatmeal. They officially stopped playing gigs when she was in her 70s, but they remain close. (She notes her bandmates were all much younger.)

 bands, carole wade, music, old friends, singer Carole and her band mates.Carole Wade

They covered classic rock tunes from Stevie Nicks, The Eagles, Janis Joplin, and Led Zeppelin. Songs like "Me and Bobby McGee," "Seven Bridges Road," and "Whole Lotta Love." She laughs that most of the men in the band couldn't hit those Zeppelin high notes made famous by Robert Plant, so she took on the challenge—with great success.

They even branded themselves at gigs, making little Ziploc bags of oatmeal and glitter, which they would throw to the audience at shows. That is, until a club owner asked them to stop, as the oatmeal was mixing with spilled drinks, "creating goo."

Rare footage of Psychedelics Oatmeal.

  The band Psychedelic Oatmeal plays in Dallas.  www.youtube.com  

Wade makes clear that music is her therapy. "If you're down on a certain day, it will bring you up." She has lived a full life, with two grown sons who are both excelling in life. But music, and the friends with whom she makes it, brings her that extra piece of joy and purpose.

Michael Hatcher, the Resident Services Director at The Reserve at North Dallas (the senior facility in which this event was held), has seen firsthand how music soothes seniors. It reconnects them to their purest selves, no matter how hazy their memories might become. Hatcher shares, "They remember the music, and the time. It's a vessel for anyone of age. It can be used to bring someone out of the deepest sun-downing and back to life."

A man sings "Just a Gigolo" at The Reserve karaoke day.

@cdk213

Senior living karaoke! Fabulous! #seniorlivingcommunity #justagigalo #dallas

There is much research to support this. Bannerhealth.com quotes music therapy coordinator Tammy Reiver for Banner Hospice in Phoenix: "Music holds the power to increase dopamine levels (happy hormones), decrease symptoms of depression and pain, and improve a person’s quality of life. Pleasing music plays an important role at every age, but for aging adults, the benefits are even greater.”

As for Wade? She jokes that she and a few other musicians at the senior home have plans to start their own band. She certainly has the chops for it—and the fans.

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Mom is baffled why her Millennial and Gen Z kids refuse to watch TV without subtitles

Are subtitles helpful or annoying? It's a generational thing.

via GibsonIsHere/TikTok and Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels
The generational caption debate is a big deal.

Have you ever had trouble catching all of the dialogue in a TV show or movie at home? Not necessarily because you're hard of hearing, but because you were distracted, the speakers on your television are terrible, the sound mixing is all over the place, or the characters were just talking really fast? If so, you should definitely take a cue from the younger generations.

If you’re a Gen Xer or older, one surprising habit the younger generations developed is their love of subtitles or closed-captioning while watching TV, during which every word of dialogue appears in crystal clear white text at the bottom of the screen. To older generations, closed-captioning was only for grandparents, the hearing impaired, or when watching the news in a restaurant or gym.

But these days, studies show that Millenials and Gen Z are big fans of captions and regularly turn them on when watching their favorite streaming platforms.

A recent study found that more than half of Gen Z and Millenials prefer captions on when watching television. It’s believed that their preference for subtitles stems from the ubiquity of captioning on social media sites such as TikTok or Instagram. Think about it, most of us watch videos on their phone without the sound, so younger people in particular are used to and adept at following along this way without missing a beat. It's comfortable for them.

This generational change perplexed TikTokker, teacher and Gen X mother, Kelly Gibson.

@gibsonishere

Always leaning! #genx #millennial #caption #learning

"I have three daughters, and they were here. Two of them are young millennials; the other one is an older Gen Z," Gibson explained in a video with over 400,000 views. "All of them were like, 'Why don't you have the captions on?'”

The mother couldn’t believe that her young kids preferred to watch TV like her grandparents. It just did not compute.

"My Gen X butt was shocked to find out that these young people have decided it's absolutely OK to watch movies with the captions going the whole time," she said jokingly.

But like a good mother, Gibson asked her girls why they preferred to watch TV with captioning, and their reason was straightforward: With subtitles, it’s easier not to lose track of the dialog if people in the room start talking.

 tv, closed captioning, millenials, gen z, subtitles, hearing loss, deaf, movies, netflix, streaming, generational differences If only live TV closed captioning was better, we'd really have it made.  Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash  

"They get more out of it," Gibson explained. "If somebody talks to them in the middle of the show, they can still read and get what's going on even if they can't hear clearly. Why are young people so much smarter than us?"

At the end of the video, Gibson asked her followers whether they watch TV with subtitles on or off. "How many of you out there that are Millennials actually do this? And how many of you Gen Xers are so excited that this is potentially an option?" she asked.

Gibson received over 400 thousand views on her video, along with over 8,400 responses to her question. People have a lot of different reasons for preferring to watch TV with captions.


 tv, closed captioning, millenials, gen z, subtitles, hearing loss, deaf, movies, netflix, streaming, generational differences Many young people can't or won't watch without the captions on.  Giphy  

“Millennial here. I have ADHD along with the occasional audio processing issues. I love captions. Also, sometimes I like crunchy movie snacks,” Jessileemorgan wrote.

“We use the captions because I (GenX) hate the inability of the movie makers to keep sound consistent. Ex: explosions too loud conversation to quiet,” Lara Lytle added.

“My kids do this and since we can’t figure out how to turn it off when they leave, it’s become a staple. GenX here!” Kelly Piller wrote.

One user made an astute point: "GenX here. Hubby and I do this! Especially watching British shows…sometimes my American ear doesn’t hear Scottish or Welsh accents well!"

The interesting takeaway from the debate is that anti-caption people often believe that having writing on the screen distracts them from the movie. They’re too busy reading the bottom of the screen to feel the film's emotional impact or enjoy the acting and cinematography.

"Gen X here. I hate the captions. I find I don’t watch the actual scene, I’m just reading the captions," one user commented.

However, those who are pro-caption say that it makes the film easier to understand and helps them stay involved with the film when there are distractions.

Here's another drawback, or con: The captions often screw up the timing of jokes and punchlines in comedies, which is a huge bummer. Watching a sitcom with the captions on, for example, can be a frustrating experience.

But here's a pro! It's way easier to follow convoluted plot points layered into fast paced dialogue when you can read it and never miss a name or reference.

Another pro: Turning on subtitles for young kids has been shown to help them to read!

Con: Even in 2025, live TV closed captioning is still an absolute disaster on many programs, full of errors and inaccuracies. Surprisingly, AI captions are currently considered less reliable than humans, but you have to wonder for how long.

So are captions and subtitles superior, or a pain? Who's right? Whoever's holding the remote, that's who.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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It took 3 minutes for a child to tell David Letterman a 'knock knock' joke but it totally delivers

"Is mom tired all the time?"

YouTube, Dan Giller

Kids join David Letterman to tell jokes.

 In 1992, David Letterman invited some kids from P.S. 144 in Queens to tell jokes on his show. Adorably, the children lined up on the stage next to him while he began his introduction. "You know, ladies and gentlemen. It always gives us a great deal of pleasure…"

As seen in a clip remaking the rounds on social media, he is quickly sidetracked by a bouncing boy with a bowl cut pointing and yelling. Letterman asks, "How would you like a sedative?" The boy jumps even higher, starts clapping, and says something unintelligible. Letterman replies, "Alright. One second here, son. Ladies and gentlemen, it's the new Howie Mandel."

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Now the boy is super-charged. Not unlike Animal from The Muppets (the red fiery drummer), he begins flopping his hair around, pointing to himself and grunting. He gives him the old Three Stooges "Why I oughta" fists. To which Letterman says dryly, "Bless your heart."

Letterman begins again. "It always gives us great pleasure to introduce our audience to new comedic talent." The boy keeps jumping as Letterman continues. "Tonight is no exception. Here they are, from the neighboring borough of Queens, New York, it's the kids of…" The boy now slaps his knees while bouncing, once again distracting Letterman from his introduction.

 The Muppets, Animal, jokes, kids, Letterman Animal drums on The Muppet Show.  Giphy  

The young boy next to him advises him to "calm down." This prompts Letterman to ask, "Is mom tired all the time?" This is met with huge laughter, while the boy seems to look for his mother off stage. Letterman turns back and jokes, "I can see where she might need the occasional nap."

"Here they are," he continues, "the kids of P.S. 144, ladies and gentlemen." The boy bounces and settles into a Hulk pose, reminiscent of Chris Farley in his SNL days. "Okay," says Letterman. "Is there a Peter Howard in this group?" And wouldn't you know, that's our bouncing dude who exclaims, "Yes," now reaching new heights with his bounce. "What a stroke of luck right off the bat!"

 chris farley, comedian, hulk, comedy, gif chris farley strikes a pose.  Giphy  

The boy, whose name we now know is Peter, can barely contain himself. "Peter, what grade are you in?" He screams "6!" which Letterman is able to understand as first grade. He's asked if he goes to school with the other kids and he looks down the line and says, "I recognize Alana and Charlie."

Things now take a turn. Letterman then clarifies Peter's age, which he screams "Six and a half! Dummy!" Thems fightin’ words. Letterman continues, "Peter, I understand you have a little…" Peter starts to literally wiggle. "Who gave you money for the candy machine?" Everyone, including the other kids, laugh uproariously.

Finally. "Peter, we understand you're gonna tell us a joke." He screams, "Two of them and they're knock knocks!" He begins, "Knock knock." Letterman answers, "Who's there?" And it would appear Peter has forgotten who, in fact, is there. So, he says it again: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Atch." "Atch who?" For a moment, Peter has forgotten again, but recovers like any well-seasoned comedian. "God bless you!"

"Very nice, Peter," Letterman replies, as Peter now seems to be playing air guitar. "We don't have time for the second joke." Again, Letterman gets the fists. Before he can even say "Okay," Peter has yelled, "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Madame." "Madame who?" And here's where Peter brings it home. "My damn foot is stuck in the damn door."

Letterman then moves Peter over so the other (extremely patient) children can get their moment in the sun. "Lock up the equipment, boys," Letterman says as Peter inches over closer to the crew.

Next up is Charlie, who has a much calmer disposition. His joke? "What do you get when you cross a dentist in a boat? The tooth fairy." Anton gives him a much-deserved drum rim shot. "Thank you very much," Letterman says as he shakes Charlie's hand. "You have to stand next to Peter now." We hear Peter off screen screaming as Letterman moves on.

Katie is up next, and she tells Letterman she's ten and a half. After he compliments her earrings, it's time for the joke: "What do you get with a thousand bunnies in a line jumping backwards?" It's low-hanging fruit, but Letterman takes it. Pointing to Peter, he says, "That guy over there?" Peter laughs and screams, to which Letterman replies, "Okay. We'll talk about your diet later." Katie repeats the premise. The punchline? "A receding 'hare' line." The crowd goes wild.

 bunnies, jumping, comedy, bouncing, jokes Hopping white rabbits.   Giphy Spacehead 

Next, we have Alana, who appears to be the youngest of the group. She's six and in kindergarten, which she says she enjoys. Her big blue eyes widen as it's time for her joke: "There's a little man in my hands. Will you please hold his jacket?" Letterman asks, "Where's his jacket?" She mimes handing him the little man, which he pretends to hold. "What do you want him to do? Sing, act or dance?" "Sing," Letterman answers. She replies, deadpan, "You want him to sing? I'll ask him." She pretends to hold the little man up to her ear. "He doesn't want to sing." Letterman leans in and says, "I'll give him $100 if he sings."

She tries to steer him in the right direction. "You want him to act?" Letterman agrees and again, she says, "I'll ask him." She does. "He doesn't want to act." He turns to the audience and says, "This is like every meeting I've ever had with NBC programming." She asks, "Do you want him to dance? I'll ask him." She does. "He doesn't want to dance." Letterman asks her, "What should we do?" To which she responds, "Do you really believe there's a little man in my hand?" "With all my heart," he replies. She stares at him for a long beat in which Letterman realizes he has responded incorrectly. "No, I don’t believe there's a man in your hand." Here we go. "Then why are you holding his jacket?"

This is a long-game joke, perhaps influenced by the likes of an absurdist like Norm Macdonald.

Last in line is Leonard Davis. "So it's come down to this. Leonard, how old a person are you?" He answers, "Thirteen," which he explains puts him in sixth grade. "What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?" Letterman repeats the question and adds, "I have no idea." Leonard brings it home. "Snowballs!" This gets a giant applause break, to which Letterman says, "There are kids here!"

 snow man, snow, comedy, kids, jokes A snow man spreads out his arms.   Giphy Chippy the Dog 

He looks down the line and, referencing Peter who has never stopped jumping, says, "I want to thank most of you for being here tonight." An absolute classic and the crowd goes wild.

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