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A viral post argues East Coast folks are better people even if they aren't as 'nice' as those out West

It's sparked a "nice vs. kind" debate from people across the country.

A viral post argues East Coast folks are better people even if they aren't as 'nice' as those out West
OnlMaps/Twitter, Jordan Green/Twitter, Mike DeAngelo/Twitter

Having lived in small towns and large cities in the Pacific Northwest, Southwest, and Midwest, and after spending a year traveling around the U.S. with my family, I've seen first-hand that Americans have much more in common than not. I've also gotten to experience some of the cultural differences, subtle and not-so-subtle, real and not-so-real, that exist in various parts of the country.

Some of those differences are being discussed in a viral thread on Twitter. Self-described "West coaster" Jordan Green kicked it off with an observation about East coasters being kind and West coasters being nice, which then prompted people to share their own social experiences in various regions around the country.

Green wrote:

"When I describe East Coast vs West Coast culture to my friends I often say 'The East Coast is kind but not nice, the West Coast is nice but not kind,' and East Coasters immediately get it. West Coasters get mad.

Niceness is saying 'I'm so sorry you're cold,' while kindness may be 'Ugh, you've said that five times, here's a sweater!' Kindness is addressing the need, regardless of tone.

I'm a West Coaster through and through—born and raised in San Francisco, moved to Portland for college, and now live in Seattle. We're nice, but we're not kind. We'll listen to your rant politely, smile, and then never speak to you again. We hit mute in real life. ALOT.

So often, we West Coasters think that showing *sympathy* or feeling *empathy* is an act of kindness. Sadly, it's really just a nice act. Kindness is making sure the baby has a hat. (s/o to breenewsome and BlackAmazon)

When you translate this to institutions or policy, you'll see alot of nice words being used, & West Coast liberals/radicals are really good at *sounding* nice. But I've seen organizers & activists from other places get frustrated because nothing happens after ALOT of talk.

Nothing happens after the pronoun check-ins and the icebreakers. It's rare we make sure that people's immediate needs are addressed. There's no kindness. You have people show up to meetings hungry, or needing rides home, and watching those with means freeze when asked to help.

As we begin to 'get back a sense of normalcy' or 're-calibrate' to what people in Blue States™ think is Right™ and Just™, I want us to keep in mind the difference between Niceness and Kindness. If something sounds nice, doesn't mean that it's kind."

Of course, there are genuinely kind and surface nice people everywhere you go, so no one should take these observations as a personal affront to them individually. Generalizations that lead to stereotypes are inherently problematic, and broad strokes like "East coast" and "West coast" are also somewhat meaningless, so they should taken with a grain of salt as well.

In reality, a small town in South Carolina is probably more culturally similar to a small town in Eastern Oregon than it is to New York City, and there are some strong differences between various subregions as well. A more specific cultural comparison, such as "big cities on the West coast vs. big cities in the Northeast" might be more accurate as far as generalizations go, but regardless, many people related to Green's observations based on their own experiences.

To kick things off, a slew of responses poured in from people describing how New Yorkers can be cold on the surface while simultaneously reaching out their hand to help you.

Several people explained that the hustle required to afford the expense of living in New York explains why people skip the niceties. It's about valuing people's time; wasting it with nice words is ruder than just quickly helping out and then moving on.

Many people chimed in with agreement with the original post (even some Canadians confirming that their East/West differences aligned with ours).

"No sense of urgency" is definitely a West coast vibe, but is generally viewed a positive out here. And "inconveniencing everyone around them" might be a subjective observation. Maybe.

Plenty of people with bicoastal experience weighed in with their stories of how their experiences lined up with the basic premise of the thread, though.

Though certainly not universally true, the tendency for West coasters to be more hands-off might extend back to the frontier days. The pioneer and gold rush mindset was necessarily individualistic and self-sufficient. In my experience, West coasters assume you don't need help unless you directly ask for it. But people don't ask because of the individualistic and self-sufficient thing, so automatic helpfulness just hasn't become part of the dominant culture.

Things got even more interesting once the South and Midwest entered the chat.

But the takes on warm/nice/kind thing varied quite a bit.

One thing that seems quite clear if you read through the various responses to the thread is that specific states and cities seem to have their own cultures that don't break down as simply as East/West/Midwest/South. There's an entire book about how the U.S. can actually be subdivided into 11 different regions that are almost like nations unto themselves. Even this map from 1940 included 34 different cultural regions in the U.S.

And don't even get a Californian started on the differences between Northern CA, Southern CA, and the Central Valley. "Culture" can even be narrowed down even to specific neighborhoods, and people's experiences and perceptions vary for all kinds of reasons, so once again, generalizations only go so far before they fall flat.

If you're curious about what the data says about all of this, a cursory search of surveys about which states are the kindest brings up a fairly mixed bag, but people seem to find Minnesota quite friendly. A Wallethub ranking of charitability by state based on 19 factors including volunteerism also placed Minnesota at number one, followed by Utah, Maryland, Oregon, and Ohio. Pretty hard to make a regional generalization with those states.

Then again, there's the whole "Minnesota nice" thing, which brings us full circle back to the original thread.

So many elements go into the culture of a place, from population density to the history of settlement to the individual personalities of the people who make someplace their home. And nothing is set in stone—the atmosphere of a place can change over time, as anyone who's visited a city a decade or two apart can attest.

One thing that's true, no matter where we live, is that we play a role in molding the culture of our immediate surroundings. If we want where we live to be friendlier, we can be friendlier ourselves. If we want to see people help one another, we can serve as that example. We might stand out, but we also might inspire others who yearn for the same thing.

"Be the change" might seem a bit cliche, but it truly is the key to shifting or world in the way we want it to go, no matter what part of the country—or the world—we live in.


This article originally appeared on 01.22.21

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Education

Teacher reveals the 'really obvious' reason teens no longer read. It's not just the phones.

"Kids who read are just built different."

via Canva/Photos

A teenage boy stars at his smartphone.

Studies show that kids are spending a lot less time reading these days. In 2020, 42% of 9-year-old students said they read for fun almost daily, down from 52% in 2012. Seventeen percent of 13-year-olds read for fun daily, down from 27% in 2012. Among 17-year-olds, 19% say they read for fun, down from 31% in 1984.

It’s safe to say that modern technology is a big reason why kids aren’t reading as much. A recent report found that teenagers spend an average of 8 hours 39 minutes per day on screens, compared to 5-and-a-half hours for pre-teen children. So, it’s no wonder they don’t have any time left to crack open a book. A high school teacher on TikTok who goes by the name StillATeacher recently brought the topic up with her class, and they stopped reading for fun at the end of middle school.

“So even those who are like avid readers of the Percy Jackson series in fourth and fifth grade fall off,” the teacher says. “Honestly, there are many reasons to stop reading recreationally, like increased pressure inside and outside of school, a desire to spend more time socializing, and, of course, the phones.”

But the teacher says there’s an obvious reason “right in front of our faces”: the adults. “Adults have lowered the bar for how much you should read as a teenager so far that the bar cannot be found,” she continued. “There are many educators who have the mindset that you shouldn't teach whole books because kids just won't read them.”

@stillateacher

the literacy crisis is upon us #teachertok #teacher #highschoolteacher #englishteacher #education #literacy #booktok #creatorsearchinsights

“I've taught at schools where teaching novels is actually discouraged,” she continued. “And I have conversations with teachers in other content areas who say that they themselves never read books, that they don't think it's important for students' long-term success. All this said, it is not entirely surprising that high schoolers don't wanna read.”

How does reading benefit kids?

The significant decrease in the number of children who read for fun means that many will miss out on the incredible benefits of regularly curling up for a good book. Studies show that children who read for pleasure enjoy improved cognitive performance, language development, and academic achievement. Reading is also linked to fewer mental health problems, less screen time, and more sleep. Findings suggest that kids get the optimal benefits of reading when they do it for around 12 hours a week.



“You forgot empathy,” one commenter added. “People who read are better at empathizing because they have been able to put themselves in the shoes of others and learn about different perspectives, people, cultures, experiences.”

StillATeacher has seen these incredible benefits first-hand.

“But I'm telling you, the handful of kids I teach who do read are built different. Kids who read have stronger critical thinking skills, more success across all academic areas, and, honestly, just a stronger sense of self. Because reading helps you figure out who you are as a person,” the teacher said.

The decline in young people's reading is a serious problem that must be addressed. So, it’s terrific that the teacher used her platform on TikTok to bring it to the public’s attention. Interestingly enough, she says that TikTok is one of the few platforms encouraging kids to read.

“And honestly, thank goodness for BookTok because I think it is one of the only drivers of adolescent reading that still exists,” she concluded her post. “Isn't that sad? Like, the schools aren't doing it, TikTok's doing it. We gotta start a movement here.”

This story originally appeared last year.

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Humor

A female writer asked what's a 'universal thing men like' and got 19 hilarious answers

“I just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life."

via Unsplash

What do these men love?

Writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch jokingly asked her followers on Twitter what’s a “universal thing that most men like?” because she was writing a comic and “just realized I don’t actually know any men in real life." The tweet inspired an avalanche of funny responses.

Hirsch is the author of “Why We Never Talk About Sugar,” a collection of short stories, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Child, American Short Fiction and Time.

The interesting thing about the responses is that they weren’t the typical stereotypes about men. She didn’t get a ton of people talking about sex, sports or toxic masculinity. Instead, there were a lot of folks that mentioned very specific male behaviors as if they were talking about a bizarre species they discovered in the wild.

There were two things that got the most comments on her post. First, men enjoy throwing heavy objects into bodies of water. Preferably, the larger the rock, the deeper the body of water and from the highest vantage point possible.

The other is watching construction sites. Evidently, the phenomenon is so popular in Italy that there is a specific word for this type of person in Italian.

Here are 19 of the best responses to the question, “What’s a universal thing that most men like?”

1.

When asked why men enjoy watching construction sites so much, a poster on Reddit named justdaps had the perfect response. "I just find it really satisfying and interesting to see the process behind things being built," he wrote.

2.

3.

4.

I have seen dudes do this and I have done it plenty of times myself. I usually stand while watching TV when I want to really focus on what’s happening and do not want to be distracted. This usually happens while watching sporting events or the news. It's also a great way to use your body language to let other people know that there is something very important happening on the television.

5.

When we do this 99% of the time we’re pretending that the sign is 10 feet high and that we have the ability to dunk a basketball. There are two types of men, those that can dunk and mere mortals.

6.

As a man, this one is near and dear to my heart. I can’t tell you the number of hours I have spent with my friends just throwing lines from “The Big Lebowski” back and forth.

“Nice marmot.”

“The Dude abides.”

“Say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it’s an ethos.”

A movie that's running up the ranks of being among the most quotable is another dude buddy pic, "Once Upon a Time ... In Hollywood."

"All right, that's too hot. Anything we can do about that heat?" ... "Rick, it's a flamethrower.”

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

Evidently, after reading the responses, Hirsch knew what was going to happen next. No need to feel ashamed about going viral. It just means you created something that people love.


This story originally appeared two years ago.

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Joy

A pianist on stage realized she'd prepared the wrong piece. Then she pulled off a miracle.

The encouraging conductor helped turn her "worst nightmare" scenario into a viral, magnificent feat.

Photo credit: Canva

Imagine showing up on stage to play a piano concerto and finding out you have to play a different one in two minutes.

You know that nightmare where you show up to the final day of class and there's a huge test and you panic as you realize you've missed the whole semester and haven't studied at all? Or how about the one where you have to give a big presentation at work and you show up totally unprepared—no notes, no visuals, no speech—and you have to wing it?

For musicians, the equivalent is showing up on stage to perform without preparation or rehearsal, which is exactly what happened to Portuguese pianist Maria João Pires when she was on stage in front of an audience of 2,000 people in Amsterdam in 1999. As the orchestra started to play, she quickly realized she was in trouble—she had prepared the wrong concerto. As the musicians played the two-and-a-half-minute intro to Mozart's Piano Concerto No.20, Pires sat at the piano in terror. She had not practiced that piece and she didn't even have the sheet music for it.

She had, however, played that concerto before, and in an inspiring feat of musicality, muscle memory, and sheer human will—along with some encouraging words from conductor Riccardo Chailly—Pires got herself centered and locked in, playing the correct concerto in its entirety, miraculously without missing a note.

The full story actually feels even more daunting for those of us who can't sit down and pound out a piano concerto at will. It turned out that Pires wasn't even the original pianist who was slated to play at this concert. She was asked the day before to be a replacement for the pianist who couldn't perform, so she didn't have a lot of time to prepare anyway. However, she'd misheard the number of the Mozart piece over the phone and thought it was a piece she had played only a couple of weeks before. If that had been the case, she would have been fine, even with the short notice. But having the wrong concerto in mind and then not even having the sheet music for the correct one was an extra pile-on from an already high-pressure situation.

The fact that it was a general rehearsal and not the official performance wasn't much consolation, since it was an open rehearsal with a full audience. A rehearsal audience is likely more forgiving than an audience that paid top dollar for a concert, but it's still mortifying to have thousands of people expecting you to perform something you have not prepared for.

Thankfully, Pires had performed the concerto multiple times, most recently about 10 or 11 months prior, so she wasn't clueless. But perfectly recalling something you did nearly a year ago at that level and under that amount of pressure is absolutely incredible.

The conductor who encouraged her later talked about how impressive it was. "The miracle is that she has such a memory that she could, within a minute, switch to a new concerto without making one mistake," said Chailly. However, Pires insists that her memory is not exceptional at all and that she is "very, very average" among musicians.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But it wasn't the only time this happened to Pires. "I must say, this happened to me another two times in my life. In total, three times," she told ClassicFM's Joanna Gosling. "I hope it never happens again."

Pires already gets nervous about performing, despite being a world famous concert pianist.

"I normally feel very stressed on stage," Pires said. "It's not the stage, it's not the public, it's the responsibility. I feel insecure. And that's why I'm not a stage person somehow. There is one side of me that feels okay—I feel okay with the people. But being on stage and being responsible for something can give me some panic."

As Gosling points out, if you were just listening to the performance, you'd never know there'd been an issue. But the camera on her face tells an entire story during the orchestral opening as we see her grappling with the crisis she'd found herself in. Watching the moment she decided she had no choice but to just go for it, whatever happened, is remarkable. A true testament to the power of repetition and the resilience of the human spirit, and a reminder that musicians truly are magicians in so many ways.

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Innovation

7 mindblowing medical breakthroughs that could occur in our lifetime

One day soon, you might be able to grow new teeth. Seriously.

Canva Photos

My family has a history of Parkinson's Disease, so I always see the headlines that promise some major scientific breakthrough in regards to the disease based on small, lab-based experiments or trials run on animals. They give us a glimmer of hope but, far too often, these treatments never see the light of day. The road from promising idea to having a real treatment available for patients is extremely long and arduous. Most potential new medications and therapies don't survive.

But... things do sometimes happen! There are massive medical breakthroughs being achieved all the time. Sometimes it's a new discovery, sometimes it's a successful clinical trial, and sometimes it's the fruit of all that labor finally becoming publicly available to people who need it the most. For example, an RSV vaccine just became available in 2023 for the first time. A powerful non-opioid pain killer was approved in 2024. A new drug came out to treat schizophrenia that was completely different than anything that had come before. Progress is being made every single year.

In our lifetime, say the next five to 20 years, we could see unbelievable advancements in treating certain medical conditions. Here are a few pretty amazing potential developments that are on the horizon.

Scientist working in a laboratory setting. Photo by Adam Bezer on Unsplash

1. Growing new teeth

Unlike sharks, humans are known to grow only two sets of teeth, our baby teeth and permanent adult teeth. If one gets knocked out or lost due to decay or infection, you're out of luck!

But researchers say growth buds exist in our gums for a third set, and scientists in Japan have had success in activating them to grow naturally. It could be a major gamechanger that could one day replace dentures and prosthetics. The team has moved onto human trials and has a target date of having a drug ready by 2030.

2. Cancer vaccines

Medical scientists have made amazing strides in cancer research, especially in the field of vaccines.

Did you know that lung cancer is considered to be the most deadly of the bunch? A lung cancer vaccine could be available very soon. If a cancer vaccine sounds odd, think of it this way: Cancer can be treated by chemotherapy and radiation, but there's always a chance of it coming back. People who have survived cancer could theoretically take the vaccine and massively improve their chances of reoccurrence.

A similar vaccine is showing promising results in clinical trials for pancreatic cancer.

3. Better treatment for Alzheimers

Alzheimer's Disease is one of the most destructive and heartbreaking conditions imaginable. It's also extremely difficult to treat, with most currently available therapies and medications focusing on slowing or temporarily relieving certain symptoms.

One new avenue scientists are exploring is a vaccine that could target a protein called tau, which clumps together and tangles up crucial neurofibers that deliver information in the brain. One such medication aims to activate a patient's immune system and produce "a strong antibody response against both pTau and its harmful aggregated form." The drug was recently fast-tracked by the FDA and has shown promising results in human clinical trials.

Another relatively new development is the availability of monoclonal antibody treatment, which helps slow the progression of the disease. Currently, the treatments are not particularly cost-effective but may become moreso in the near future.


smiling woman in gray cardigan Photo by Tatiana Zanon on Unsplash

4. Breakthrough treatment for Huntington's Disease

Huntington's is a fatal central nervous system disorder that shuts down key brain functions in patients like speech, walking, and cognitive function. Some of the symptoms can be treated but, so far, little can be done to slow or stop the progression of the disease.

However, a new drug known as PTC518 was recently fast-tracked by the FDA due to promising results in clinical trials. It attacks mutant Huntington protein in blood cells and in cerebrospinal fluid and has been shown to improve symptoms of the disease in a 12-month trial run. What's especially exciting is that this drug attacks the disease itself rather than just treating symptoms at the surface level.

5. Targeted viruses that kill antibiotic-resistant bacteria

Bacteria is getting smarter and evolving. Antimicrobial resistance is a grave threat to the global population as well-known antibiotics become less effective against infection and new antibiotics are expensive and difficult to develop.

(If you've ever dealt with a staph infection, you know how scary it is when drugs just... don't work.)

This is where special viruses, called bacteriophages or just phages, come into play. These viruses selectively target and kill bacteria, and were actually first used about 100 years ago. Scientist are coming around to using them again. In select settings, they've proven to be incredibly effective against resistant infections, but will need more testing before they become widely available. However, it's definitely possible that this become a viable alternative to antibiotics in some cases in the next few decades!

6. Synthetic and bioprinted organs


human heart Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

There are simply not enough donor organs going around for all the people who need a healthy liver, heart, or kidney.

Luckily, incredible strides have been made in creating artificial organs that can function like the real thing. A man in Australia just lived for 100 days with a titanium heart while he awaited a transplant! And bioprinting technology – quite literally 3D printing using real tissue and living cells — has the potential to create new working organs from scratch in the near future. Genetically modifying animal organs to function in humans temporarily or maybe even permanently has also come an extremely long way and is a process that will drastically improve in the coming years.

7. A one-pill cure for Hepatitis B

Hepatitis B is a potentially fatal infection of the liver that affects hundreds of millions of people worldwide. There is a safe and effective vaccine available to some people, but it's only preventative and won't treat active infections.

A research team in Israel recently discovered that a low dose of well-known chemotherapy drug, Curaxin-137, completely destroyed a crucial and mysterious protein that the Hepatitis virus depends on. The testing was done in a lab setting, so the next step is clinical trials. The team hopes that one day in the not-so-distant future, patients could take a single dose and completely eradicate the virus in their system. That's about as close to a miracle-cure as you can get!

Not all of these potential breakthroughs will come to fruition, but it's pretty amazing to dig into the advancements and discoveries that are being made every day. This list is just scratching the surface, to say nothing of robotic surgeons that will make major surgeries less invasive, new treatments for baldness, nanotechnologies that can deliver medicine to specific parts of the body, and more. Ultimately, good news is coming relatively soon for people who need it.


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Community

Woman who lives on a cruise ship shares the hardest part about her otherwise dream life

"I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,”

via Christine Kesteloo/TikTok and Cagri Gurbuz/Pexels

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

cruise ships, dieting, all you can eat, living on a cruise ship, tiktokA woman eats and drinks while enjoying the view on a cruise shipImage via Canva

“One of the hardest things about living on a cruise ship is that I know right now, if I just leave my cabin, I can go and have cookies, pizza, a shake, I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,” she said in a TikTok video that received over 400,000 views.


@dutchworld_americangirl

The hardest part about living on a cruise ship is that I am surrounded by free food all of the time anything I want I just had lunch but it’s 2 o’clock in my body tells me it’s either cookie time or time for a hamburger. The hardest part is telling myself not to eat. #hardestpart #cruiseship #livingatsea #koningsdam #weliveonacruiseship #cruisefoodie #foodtok #itsaproblem #halcruises #hollandamericaline


“I am laying here. It is 2 pm. I had a salad for lunch, I had some fresh fruit, but that didn’t fill me up,” she continued. “Right now, all I can think about is eating a burger with some French fries and some mayonnaise.”

“And that, folks, is the absolute hardest part about living on a cruise ship,” she said. “I am surrounded by food all the time.”

She added, "The hardest part is telling myself not to eat.”

cruise ships, eating on cruises, buffets, all you can eat, diets, living on a cruise ship, life on cruise shipsA person refusing a hamburger and friesImage via Canva

Kesteloo’s trouble is a common problem among people on cruise ships. A study by Admiral Travel Insurance found that over 60% of people who go on a week-long cruise anticipate gaining weight. Seventeen percent of people say they gain 2 to 3 pounds on a cruise, while 14% say they gain 4 to 5 pounds.

Other estimates show that the average cruiser will put on 5 to 10 pounds on a weeklong cruise. Imagine living on a cruise ship for half the year, like Kesteloo. She could quickly put on 100 pounds a year if she's not careful.

"I’d be huge if I lived there. I would feel like I’m on a constant vacation, and who diets on vacation?" Theresa Gramelsapcker-Wilson wrote in the comments.

"This is my main reason why I couldn’t do this HHAHAHAHAHAA," Cara Mia added.

"I never thought about those who actually live on a cruise ship. I would be 500 pounds," Lucky Penny2468 said.

Kesteloo’s battle with temptation shows that in every life, a little rain must fall. Nobody ever truly has it perfect. Kesteloo seems to be living the perfect life on board a cruise ship, but she still has to fight temptation every moment of the day or make good use of the ship’s gym facilities. But, obviously, having access to too much food is far better than having too little.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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