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My Marine instructor insulted me by using the r-word. This is how I responded.

My boot camp experience was tough. But the toughest part was the insults.

This story was originally published on The Mighty.

I’m not here to criticize the United States Marine Corps on how they train new recruits.

They’ve been doing it for more than 200 years, so they must know what they’re doing.

Photo via iStock.

My intention instead is to give an account of how standing up for people with intellectual disabilities is possible, even to arguably the scariest individuals you can imagine.

Here’s what happened:

During a period of instruction on Marine Corps values, I answered a question that, while technically correct, wasn’t the answer my heavy (a Marine term for the drill instructor tasked with making life extremely difficult) was looking for.

"You must be a [r-word], Mitchell."

The look on my face must have revealed the disgust and disapproval I had for his choice of words. In boot camp, this is a big no-no. The drill instructor told me to stand back up and explain my inappropriate reaction. I yelled in my best recruit sound-off voice, "Sir, this recruit is offended by that word, sir."

There was about three seconds of stunned collective silence in our squad bay.

It felt more like five minutes, though. My drill instructor kicked over a footlocker, ran right up to my face wearing his signature Smokey the Bear hat, and began to use everything in the book to get at me.

When you’re in boot camp, the only thing you have is the fellow recruits in your platoon and your family who writes to you.

My brother, Chess, has Down syndrome. And throughout my life, I avoided taking a stand against people who made fun of those with intellectual disabilities.

But on this particular day, I couldn’t take it. I had to say something. I got chewed out as a result. A couple of days later, the senior drill instructor asked me about the incident, but no recourse was really taken.

I do remember during my last days of training introducing my drill instructor to my brother at family day.

Me and my brother. Photo via Jay Mitchell, used with permission.

Again, it’s not my intention to vilify the Marine Corps drill instructors.

Those men and women are a vital part of our nation, and it’s their job to prepare our next generation of Marines. Drill instructors are consummate professionals at all times. They’re trained not to discriminate against any recruits based on religion, ethnicity, country of origin, or race.

In my explanation to my senior drill instructor, I explained that no drill instructor would call a recruit the n-word, which is just as offensive to me.

Even though standing up against someone who uses the r-word can be frightening, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that the moment will be etched into that person’s memory.

I don’t know if my instructor ever used that word again. He probably has. My platoon saw me stand up for my brother. And they might laugh thinking about it, but the story sticks and they’re reminded that the r-word is offensive and wrong when they remember it.

So when you’re hurt or offended by someone using the r-word, don’t be afraid to let them know. If they defend their use of it, there’s not a lot you can do to help them.

But maybe if enough people keep letting them know why it’s wrong, they might change over time.

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Teacher jokingly tells 10-year-old going on a trip to England to 'find Duran Duran'—and so she kind of does.

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway.

Wikicommons and lakehighlandsadvocate IG

Duran Duran lead singer Simon LeBon poses with a young fan

Imagine this: you're a fourth grade language arts teacher in Dallas, and like many Gen X-ers, your obsession with Duran Duran never waned. So much so that you still have dolls of each member of the band in the classroom and, according to Austin Wood's article for the Lake Highlands Advocate, even an old telephone in case (lead singer) "Simon LeBon calls."

This describes Miriam Osborne, a fourth grade teacher at White Rock Elementary in the Lake Highlands district of Dallas, Texas. Wood shares in "White Rock E.S. student, inspired by teacher, meets Simon LeBon" that one of Osborne's students, 10-year-old Ava Meyers, was getting an early pickup for Christmas break, as her family was heading to the U.K. for a holiday wedding. As they were saying their goodbyes in the hallway, Osborne kiddingly said to Meyers, "Find Duran Duran."

gif of Duran Duran performingDuran Duran 80S GIFGiphy


Cut to: Ava and her family, including her mom Zahara, fly across the pond to find themselves in the Putney neighborhood of London. After a day of sightseeing, Zahara shares, "I was just Googling things to do in Putney, and the first thing that popped up was 'Simon Le Bon lives in Putney from Duran Duran.'”

Zahara did a little sleuthing and found Simon's house, thinking perhaps a Christmas stroll by the home would be exciting. But, according to the article, Ava felt they could do better. She and "an 83-year-old relative named Nick, who apparently has courage in droves, went to the door and tried a knock. Zahara was initially hesitant but assumed Le Bon would be away on vacation, so she figured it was harmless. Le Bon’s son-in-law answered, his wife came to the door next, and following a few moments of getting pitched the idea by Nick, agreed to get her husband 'because it was Christmas.'"

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway. He warmly greeted Ava and her family and even took pictures. "It was just crazy," Ava exclaimed.

But possibly more excited was Miriam Osborne, back in the States. She proudly shared the photo (which had been texted to her) with many of her friends and even encouraged Ava to recount the story to her classmates when they returned from the break. Wood shares, "Osborne’s connection to the band goes back to her childhood in El Paso in the ’80s. As the daughter of a Syrian immigrant, she says she had trouble fitting in and finding an identity. Some days, she and her brothers would travel across town to get records from a British record store."

Miriam explains she used her babysitting money to buy her first Duran Duran record. "And so I had been a fan, literally, for 43 years—my entire lifetime."

gif of Simon LeBonDuran Duran GIFGiphy

Osborne's love of Duran Duran, and many '80s bands in general, nostalgically connects her to a throughline for her life that she tries to impart onto the students as well. "Music is a connector, and it connected me to a world that I didn’t always fit in as a child. It helped me find people who I still love to this day, and it’s a big part of this classroom with me and the students I teach, because everybody has a story, and there’s something really incredible about hearing something and it taking you to a happy moment."

As for Ava? She's now taking guitar lessons. And perhaps one day, she can become so famous and inspirational, a teacher sends a student off to find her on a Christmas vacation in the future.

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Mom shows off mother-in-law's comically generous "sick care package" and it's so relatable

Mothers-in-law giveth and they annoyeth.

Canva Photos

Putting the "care" in care package.

In my experience, grandparents like to give a lot of...stuff. It can be overwhelming and frustrating, bringing all these things into your home that you have to find a place for, all of it adding to the clutter and mental load. And I know I'm not the only one. Some informal surveys say 75% of parents are frustrated that grandparents give the kids too many gifts. Based on the parents I know, that number easily checks out. And it's not just gifts, but food, baked goods, and groceries that we don't ask for—it's all too much!

It's a double-edged sword, though, because sometimes the stuff is great and really helpful. It's important to remember that there is a lot of generosity and love behind grandparents' (sometimes outlandish) gifting. It's a way for them to stay connected to the family when they can't always be there during the day-to-day. A little gift here and there is a way to show the grandkids they love them, and sending a batch of brownies you definitely don't want to be eating is just their little way of helping out.

To that end, a mom on TikTok recently showed off her outrageous haul from her mother-in-law, who sent a laughably generous care package when the family was sick with the flu.

gif of Alf sickMom-in-law went above and beyond to answer the sick family's call.Giphy

Makenzie Hubbell can barely contain her laughter as she begins telling the story on camera.

"My entire family is sick and we asked our mother-in-law to shop for us, so this is everything she got. "

Hubbell then holds up two eight-packs of Gatorade, or enough to hydrate a professional sports team.

"We asked for some goldfish for my son, for when he starts eating." Cue enormous, bulk-sized tub of Goldfish crackers. Then two giant bags of Tyson's chicken nuggets. "We asked for ground turkey. She got us two," Hubbell says, showing off the packs.

"Did not ask for these, but very thankful," she says, holding up a container of strawberries. "Strawberries are very expensive."

It went on and on. A huge package of chicken breast that could feed their family for a week. But the package wasn't just food and rations. There was a book for the little one, cupcakes for mom's birthday, and a gift in an adorable bag (spoiler: It's a candle and a t-shirt).

The care package was a veritable clown car of supplies and gifts. It's safe to say that mom-in-law went way overboard, in the way that grandparents do. Watch Hubbell show it all off here:


@chunkymak

i fear the gatorade wont last more than 3 days😂😭 #plussize #plussizeedition #groceries #groceryhaul

Commenters related heavily to the video, and it's got us wondering if mother-in-laws have been getting a bad rap all this time.

Turns out that mothers-in-law, despite their reputation, are coming in clutch all over the place! We might not always see eye to eye, but they're some of the most reliable and generous family members out there.

"You won the Mother in Law lottery."

"This is my MIL but she gives so much and won’t allow us to pay any portion back"

"My exs mother, my oldest son’s grandma, drops off a care package of groceries every time she goes to Costco. Always a rotisserie chicken. Muffins, fruit, snacks for school and fresh veggies."

"Welcome to the best mother in law club. My husband had a lot of health issues before he passed and my MIL would schedule her cleaning lady to come over the day before he came home from the hospital."

"My MIL is the same way…but times 4. If I asked her to pick some things up, it would be a haul. Those of us that are blessed, APPRECIATE!"

"So happy when I hear positive MIL stories on this app. While I am not one nor do I have one it always seems like they’re getting such a bad rap."

To add to the comedy of it all, Hubbell's mother-in-law was back with more rations and an entire pharmacy's-worth of medical supplies the very next day:

@chunkymak

Replying to @weetchofthewoods she also got us the sams club big pack of pampers cruisers in the wrong size so she's going to exchange them but she's got such a huge heart🩷 #plussize #plussizeedition #groceries #groceryhaul

Conflict between women and their mothers-in-law might be a little exaggerated by sitcoms and stand-up comics, but it is a tricky relationship to manage.

Mothers-in-law are naturally protective of their own children and have strong feelings and opinions about how their grandchildren are being raised. Communication and boundaries are key, but can be a challenge for any family to navigate with grandparents.

Case in point: Just as many commenters on Hubbell's video expressed regret that they didn't have nearly as good of a relationship with their own MIL.

It's a good exercise for any married person to look past the conflicts and disagreements and recognize how generous grandparents, and especially those pesky mothers-in-law, can be with their time and money. They just love to go overboard like in Hubbell's viral video, and seem to take pride in being more helpful than you could possibly ever ask them to be. Sure, that generosity also comes with a lot of junk and a little more spoiling of the kids than you'd like, but Hubbell's video is a good reminder to stop and be appreciative for just a moment if you're lucky enough to have an overly generous mother-in-law in your life.

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Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Photos by Murat Rahim Caglak and Antoni Shkraba via Canva

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Culture

Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Culture

A family's clever cake cutting hack could completely change how you do birthdays forever

There's a simple reason it's been watched more than 1.8 million times.

Image via Canva

Representative image of a person cutting a cake

There are a few types of people who always show up around the dining room table when the birthday cake arrives. There's the dutiful person who is nice enough to volunteer to cut and serve the cake for everyone. There's the person who begs for the piece with the most frosting. Then there's the person who wants as little frosting as possible.

There's also the party-goer who asks for the little sliver of cake and the guy who has no problem taking a slice as big as his head. Let's not forget the cake pusher whose job it is to make sure you take some extra slices home. "Please take some home so I don't eat it," they beg, patting their tummy.

Making everyone happy during the ceremonial cake cutting is no easy task.

birthdays, birthday cake, life hacks, hacks, how to cut a birthday cakeA group gathers around a birthday cakeImage via Canva

But now, a game-changing video on TikTok has completely changed the cake-cutting conversation. It eliminates the cake server, long knife, serving plates, spatula, and replaces it with joyous anarchy.

A TikTok video with over 460,000 likes shows a family celebrating a woman's 20th birthday, and after she blows out the candles, each person takes out a wine glass and scoops up a mound of cake.

It's an easy, streamlined way to make sure everyone gets what they want without having to bother anyone to cut and distribute the pieces. Everyone gets to grab the slice they like and in the amount they desire, without having to negotiate.

It's also a fun way to do things as a group. It would be savage to have a bunch of people scooping up cake with spoons, but with wine glasses, it's fancy.

The only drawback is that this technique really favors the pro-frosting constituency.

@theroseperiod Happy 20th birthday to my Jules!#twenty#fyp#birthdaycake#wineglasses#tiktokmom ♬ Outro: Happy Birthday - Altered Images

Duff Goldman, "Ace of Cakes" star and executive chef of the Baltimore-based Charm City Cakes shop, told Bustle the idea is genius. "Each person can come in with their own cup and get their own serving — it's a nice communal experience where each person can interact with the cake and each other," he said.

"This is a game-changer," one person said on TikTok.

"This is blowing my mind. Why have I never thought of this?" said another woman, who called it "genius."

"A cake hack that I can get behind," another added. "I will never eat cake another way."

The cake hack is a great idea, but one has to be sure that the cake is at room temperature. This could get downright dangerous if used on an ice cream cake or one with a hard filling. Also, you probably want to avoid using super-expensive Tiffany wine glasses that could easily shatter or eating out of the glass with metal utensils.

Ok, TikTokkers that hack was brilliant, your next challenge is to figure out how to eat pie with a wine glass.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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