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More parents are taking 'teen-ternity leave' from work to support their teenage kids

Parenting through the teen years takes a lot more time and energy than people expect.

mom and child embracing
Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Raising kids through adolescence is not for the faint of heart.

When you have a baby, it's expected that you'll take some maternity or paternity leave from work. When you have a teen, it's expected that you'll be in the peak of your career, but some parents are finding the need to take a "teen-ternity leave" from work to support their adolescent kids.

It's a flip from what has become the traditional trajectory for modern parents. Despite the fact that the U.S. is the only developed nation in the world to not have mandated paid parental leave, most parents take at least some time off when a baby is born to recover physically from pregnancy and birth and to settle into life with their tiny new human. Many parents then opt to have one parent stay home full-time during their children's younger years, as full-time childcare is often cost prohibitive, and raising babies and toddlers requires an enormous amount of time, attention and energy.

Parents often return to work when their kids are in school full-time, and many feel a bit of a respite from the relentlessness of parenting as their kids become more independent and capable of doing things on their own. It's not that older kids don't need their parents, but their needs are different. Physical parenting gives way to more complex emotional parenting as kids get older, and for a while, those emotional challenges are somewhat simple.

Then the tween years come along. Then the teens. And for some parents, a realization hits that parenting kids through puberty takes almost as much time, attention and energy, as toddlers do. Only now, those needs are much more complicated and consequential.

Taking "teen-ternity leave" from work may not be feasible for many or most parents, but those who have the means to take a break from work to focus on family full-time during their kids' teen years shouldn't be judged for it. Raising teens is rarely easy, but for some parents, getting their kids through their teen years is the hardest thing they will ever do.

For one, adolescence is when mental health struggles really come to a head. If you've never parented a child with anxiety, depression, OCD, or some other mental illness, consider yourself fortunate. The mental and emotional toll for parents in that boat is immense, and the amount of time it can take to find the right kind of care and manage the various manifestations of whatever they struggle with can be significant.

teen boy curled up in a corner of a room

Mental health struggles often arise during adolescence.

Photo by Fernando @cferdophotography on Unsplash

Another reality of parenting teens that makes going to work challenging is the tendency for teens to spend the better part of the day not wanting to talk and then totally opening up at like 10:30 at night. Late night heart-to-hearts are a hallmark parenting in the teen years, but it can be hard to sustain if you're having to wake up early and head to work in the morning. And the emotional nature of these conversations requires a lot of thought and energy.

Helping with homework becomes more complicated as parents try to pull their advanced math knowledge up from the recesses of their minds, and then there's the transportation problem. Until a teen can drive themselves and unless they have their own car, someone has to take them to and from their various activities. It may sound silly to take time off from work just to drive your teens around, but it's not just the transportation—it's the transportation on top of everything else.

Is all of this just modern overparenting run amok? Not really.

“We often think the heavy parenting lift is for young kids, who need help getting dressed and more supervised playtime. But once you have a teenager, you realize bigger kids, bigger problems,” Amanda Craig PhD, LMFT, family therapist, mom, and author of the book, "Who Are You & What Have You Done with My Kid?: Connect with Your Tween While They Are Still Listening," told Parents.

The pandemic, of course, didn't help matters. Kids who went through that world-changing event during their formative years had their sense of normalcy and safety rocked, not just on an individual level, but a societal one. Research on the brains of teens before and after the pandemic shows there were actual neurobiological impacts of that time period. Teens today have also grown up during a particularly turbulent time in politics with that turbulence shoved in their face continually via social media. It's not surprising that a lot of young people are psychologically struggling and needing more support from their parents than previous teen generations did.

Maybe a teen-ternity leave—which is really just a different form of parental leave—isn't a bad idea. Imagine if we lived in a world where it was actually economically feasible for more families.

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Culture

Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Modern Families

13 ‘old-school’ parenting ideas people say just what today's kids need

A lot of "bad" ideas are turning out to be quite good.

via Jim Forest/Flickr

A dad has had it with his crying son.

There are as many different parenting styles as there are children. But in 2025, there is a conflict between newer, softer parenting styles and older, tough-love approaches. Softer parenting styles that have come into favor in recent years tend to encourage emotional intelligence, gentle discipline, and open communication.

On the other hand, older, tough-love parenting encourages risk-taking, natural consequences and discipline. One of the most controversial parenting styles that has emerged over the last generation or two is helicopter parenting. In this style, parents closely monitor and control most aspects of the child’s life. While it’s done out of an abundance of concern, it can also limit the child's independence.

A Redditor named NumanLover asked parents to share their parenting strategies that may be considered” bad” by today’s helicopter parents. They received over 1,300 responses. Many resisted the idea that parents should control their children's lives and shared strategies that encouraged independence and perseverance. The “bad” parenting ideas urged parents to let their children grow in confidence by spending time alone and unsupervised.

family, family values, parenting, old-school parenting, discipline, 1950s, good parentingA man lifts a couch with his wife on it while vacuumingImage via Canva

They also reminded parents that it’s OK to ignore a tantrum, even if it is in a packed restaurant.

Here are 13 of the best answers to: What is considered bad parenting but it's actually good parenting?

1. Giving your kids space

"Giving your kids enough space to fail and then try to figure it out on their own. I see a lot of parents solving their children’s problems without giving them a chance to find their own solution."

"Consequences are the best teachers for some lessons. Barring significant issues, if you don't do your schoolwork or hand it in late you get lower grades. If you show up late to work too many times you may get reamed out by your boss and fired. If you decide to say something careless and cruel you may lose a friendship and the respect of others. Support them through it so they can learn and improve, yes. Shelter them and try to get them out of it, no."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Let them be alone

"Leaving your kids alone for age-appropriate periods of time. At some point, kids have to learn to entertain themselves or to be responsible for their own meals, depending on how old they are. Which is why the key part of that statement was 'age-appropriate.' And I suppose it depends on how safe your neighbourhood is, too."

"A lot of parents are too helicopter-y today. I also went where I wanted as a kid as long as I came back when I was supposed to. I think it’s social media getting into parents head with anxieties about what could happen."


parenting, modern parenting, kids, chores, family, old-school parenting, family values, raising kidsA mom watches her two children doing choresImage via Canva

3. Give them chores

"Making your kids help with chores from an early age This is just teaching good habits and skills. When I grew up we had a rule in my house. The person who cooks don't have to do dishes. If you didn't set the table and didn't cook. You had to wash dishes. And ironically because of that I became a really good cook because I HATED doing dishes. So I learned how to cook everything."


parenting, modern parenting, old-school, raising kids, kids, children Two kids fight over a basketballImage via Canva

4. Allow them to experience conflict

"Allowing kids to experience discomfort and situations of conflict and confrontation so they can develop the necessary skills to process and navigate said conflict, and with your guidance before and correction after - learn to compromise when necessary and resolve conflicts effectively."

"Similarly: a lot of parents think it's bad to argue in front of your children. When you argue in front of your kids, you're teaching them that sometimes people disagree on things. When you resolve the argument, you're demonstrating conflict resolution."


kids, playing, parenting, free range parenting, modern families, old-school parenting, parenting adviceA young girl climbs on a playground ladderImage via Canva

5. Encourage risky play

"Letting kids engage in age-appropriate risky play. Trying to protect them from everything is bad parenting. Let them climb, run, jump, dig, throw, etc. They’ll become more specially aware, aware of their body, physically literate, and more active."


parenting, modern parenting, family, old-school parenting, tough love, kids, kids crying A young child cryingImage via Canva

6. Let them cry

"Letting them feel emotions helps them learn how to regulate them."

"Teaching them self-soothing skills, a little bit at a time, is also essential. but they do need to learn emotional regulation!"

7. Ignore the tantrum

"As long as they aren’t hurting themselves, someone else, or destroying things, the best thing is to let them tire themselves out. Parents cave in way too often, and it teaches the kid, 'Oh, Mom and Dad will give me this thing I want; I just need to do this long enough,' leading to more and more tantrums. Operant conditioning done inadvertently is difficult to undo."

"The trick is to do the opposite of rewarding the kid throwing the tantrum. Growing up, I behaved well because I quickly learned that if I was acting up in a restaurant, we would leave the restaurant immediately, and we did. It only took a few times of doing that to make it clear there was no upside to throwing a fit, only downsides. That tasty treat you wanted, the chicken nuggets and chocolate milkshake? Nope. You threw a fit; everyone's going home. No nuggs and milkshake for you."


parenting, modern parenting, discipline, family, old-school parenting, family values A mother explains the situation to her childImage via Canva

8. Logical consequences

"Refuse to put on your coat to go to the playground? Then either we don’t go to the playground or we go and you get to be cold enough to be miserable while your warm siblings are running around playing."

"Dr. Becky just had a really good episode on her podcast about this. We need to let kids experience the arc of their decisions when it’s safe to do so."


teachers, parenting, kids, school, family, modern families, old-school parenting, family valuesa mom talks with her son's teacherImage via Canva

9. Side with the teacher

"Your child is being a little sh*t. Yes, they are 6 years old, and yes, 6 year olds are talkative. But there are 30 other 6-year-olds in the classroom, and if the teacher needs to come to and tell you your child is talkative and being disruptive, do something about it."


parenting, family, modern parenting, parenting advice, modern families, old-school parentingA couple walks along the oceanImage via Canva

10. Prioritize yourself

"For parents, it's actually good to NOT make your kids the highest priority ALL THE TIME - to consciously plan and take the effort and time to prioritize your partner and yourself regularly. A happy, healthy relationship between parents is worth so much more than the occasional bouts of inconvenience/missing the parents/whatever opportunity cost these times have to kids."

"If you're feeling overwhelmed as a parent, it's GOOD to leave the kids to their own devices for an appropriate length of time, maybe even in front of the TV or whatever distracts them, while you take time out to recharge."

11. You aren't your child's friend

"So many people think you need to be friends with your kid, but you're not a friend, you're a parent. Even if your kid hates you, even if you get screamed at, you NEED to teach them the right lessons in life. Cos, guess what, kids won't always love what you say. And what they love is sometimes not what they should love. Being a parent isn't a matter of your child loving you, it's a matter of making sure they're ready for life and praying to any and all gods and demons that may or may not exist that they turn out a decent human being."


parenting, family, modern parenting, old-school family, kids and smart phones, internet, social media, protecting kidsA mom takes away her daughter's phoneImage via Canva

12. Keep them offline

"Not letting a small child have an iPad / phone / any access to the internet. This is somehow seen as something really strict / no fun parenting. The parents who don't allow internet are actually great, the internet isn't a nice place for a child to explore."

"I always want to ask 'why' or 'what do you think that’s doing for them?' I’m pretty sure most of these parents just didn’t want children and they just want to offload that time to the tablet and call it a day. There are definitely times when I feel that way too, but it’s just no way to raise a child every day."

13. Spanking your child is wrong

"A bunch of people justifying physically abusing children under the guise of 'discipline'"

"It’s funny because they are objectively wrong. The only thing it does is show you child (by example) that violence is the way to deal with problems."


This article originally appeared last year.

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Humor

Artist gives 6 of Disney's most beloved characters a modern twist  to explain today's world

"I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes."

via Tom Ward / Instagram

Classic Disney characters reimagined for modern times

Artist Tom Ward has used his incredible illustration techniques to give us some new perspective on modern life through popular Disney characters. "Disney characters are so iconic that I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes," he told The Metro.

Tom says he wanted to bring to life "the times we live in and communicate topical issues in a relatable way."

In Ward's "Alt Disney" series, Prince Charming and Pinocchio have fallen victim to smart phone addiction. Ariel is living in a polluted ocean, and Simba and Baloo have been abused by humans.

Not all the news is bad though. LeFou form "Beauty and the Beast" has finally come out of the closet and his crush, Gaston, appears to be pretty accepting of the revelation.

Although, was it really such a shock?

Ward believes that his illustration of Artur from "Sword and the Stone makes" a particularly strong point. "I also think the message of Arthur from The Sword in the Stone sitting on his phone has some resonance today," he said. "He's too engrossed in his phone to experience other opportunities and realize his true potential in life."

You can see more of Ward's work on Instagram.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Elderly Wisconsin man shows up to support anti-trans bill and ends up apologizing instead

“When I came here my eyes were opened.”

Photo credit: Canva

Elderly Wisconsin man supporting anti-trans bill apologizes

There have been a lot of anti-trans bills being presented on the state and federal levels in recent years. Many of the bills are being presented as a way to protect girls and women from trans people in sports and public restrooms. The proposed legislative changes often play off the fear of the unknown and heighten the perceived risk to biological females.

The ongoing politicization of gender has resulted in a major shift in public sentiment. Recent research from Pew shows that support for transgender protections has dropped 8 points since 2022, with an equal 8 percent rise in the number of Americans who believe there should be laws that require athletes to compete on teams that match their sex at birth (88 percent).

Yet when one elderly man in Wisconsin fell into that way of thinking, he did something seemingly extraordinary in today's political climate. He listened. The elderly man named Larry was asked to speak in support of Assembly Bill 104 (AB104) at the Wisconsin State Legislature, but while he patiently waits his turn, something begins to change.


transgender, gender, trans athletes, politics, public debateExpand your mind, change your world. Image via Canva

AB104 is written to prohibit medical intervention for gender transition for people under the age of 18. Medical gender transition services for children typically involve puberty blockers once a child reaches the age where puberty is imminent. According to the Human Rights Campaign, hormone treatment is often reserved for late teens and those over the age of 18 with nothing medically irreversible being completed until after the age of 18. Puberty blockers and hormone replacement require parental consent as well as a consensus from the child's medical doctor and gender therapist.

Larry sat waiting to speak for seven hours before it was his turn and by the time he spoke he admittedly changed his stance. Not only did he change his stance, Larry did so publicly and proceeded to apologize for his ignorance on the topic before hearing the testimony of trans people.

joint session congress GIFGiphy

“First of all, I’d like to apologize to you people, I was invited here to give my support for bill 104. I have a very little knowledge of gay people and things like that there, Larry says while speaking to lawmakers. So when I came here, my eyes were opened. I was one of the critics that sat on the side and made the decision there was only two genders, so I got an education that was unbelievable."

Larry wasn't done, he wanted to let people know the testimonies changed his views, "and I don’t know just exactly how to say this but my perspective for people have changed. So I don’t want to take up no more of your time. I’d like to apologize for being here and I learned a very lot about this group of people."

The man's willingness to still get up to speak knowing his opinion had changed is an excellent example of how you can change your mind after receiving new information.

Larry did something that many people hope others will do while having a discussion by listening to another perspective with an open mind and being willing to change your perspective when new information is presented.

His one minute speech went viral on social media platforms like Reddit and TikTok with people praising the man's willingness to publicly change his opinion.

"To be an elderly person like this, and able to listen to new information from people with firsthand knowledge, while simultaneously developing thoughts and opinions based on that to grow, is amazing to see in real time. Bless him," one person shared.

"Legit renews my faith in humanity. There are times when I think this type of thoughtful reflection and changing of political viewpoints isn't possible, so it is really nice to see," another says.

An old man who was going to speak against gender-affirming care in the Wisconsin state legislature, changes stance after listening to testimony for 7 hours.
byu/RoyalChris inMadeMeSmile

"Real man, right there. Willing to admit his mistakes, and not dig his heels in any further once he sees truth. Keep learning and evolving, father," someone else writes.

"We need to teach humility to our kids and to each other. That power to recognize when you´re wrong? It's humility. Society at large tends to view humility as being meek or weak, but it's actually the exact opposite. The appreciation that this guy is getting in the comments is because we recognize the strength of his character. It requires courage to change viewpoints and even more courage to do it publicly. Humility is about knowing that you could be wrong and seek information that may be against what you believe, and, if you find it, change your mind. A strong mind changes their opinion quickly in the face of evidence. 'Strong opinions, loosely held,'" one person adds.

Unfortunately, the debate of gender isn't going away anytime soon. It's one of the most divisive topics in American public life even though it's one that impacts an incredibly small percentage of people. Regardless of where one falls on the issue, Larry's willingness to listen, learn and change his mind is one that all Americans would do well to follow. If we all genuinely want what's best for people, having an open mind and an open heart might be the change that will finally let our leaders focus on solutions over division.

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A 9-year-old girl bravely gave her school board an all-time mic drop on standardized tests

They didn't expect this kind of talking to.

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It's not everyday that a video of a local school board meeting ends up with 2.2 million views. In fact, we're not sure it's ever happened before.

If you need proof standardized testing is setting students up for failure, just ask the students. Sydney Smoot had a bone to pick with the Hernando County School Board. The issue? The Florida Standards Assessment Test, or FSA for short. On March 17, 2015, Sydney bravely stood up at her local school board meeting to share how she felt about the test and why she believes it's failing students and teachers.

"This testing looks at me as a number. One test defines me as either a failure or a success through a numbered rubric. One test at the end of the year that the teacher or myself will not even see the grade until after the school year is already over. I do not feel that all this FSA testing is accurate to tell how successful I am. It doesn't take in account all of my knowledge and abilities, just a small percentage." — Sydney Smoot

Can we give this little girl a medal? She was speaking right to our souls with that speech!


- YouTubewww.youtube.com


Here's the full transcript of her remarks:

“Fellow members of the school board, today I will express my concerns about the FSA testing. I consider myself a well-educated young lady. However, with FSA tests my five years of school… do not matter. This testing looks at me as a number. One test defines me as either a failure or a success through a numbered rubric. One test at the end of the year that the teacher or myself will not see the grade [for] until after the school year is already over.

I do not feel that all of this FSA testing is accurate to tell how successful I am. It doesn’t take into account all of my knowledge and abilities, just a small percentage. Here are my concerns. First of all, I do not feel good signing a form in the FSA ensuring that you can’t even discuss the test with your parents. I am not comfortable signing something like this I have the right to talk to my parents about any and everything related to school and my education. Second, why am I being forced to take a test that hasn’t even been testing on students here in Florida, so how can it be accurate and valid on what I know? Why are we taking most of the year stressing and prepping for one test at the end of the year when we should be taking tests throughout the year that really measure our abilities?

My opinion is that we should take a test at the beginning of the year, middle, and end of the school year to accurately measure what we know. The pressure this puts on me and I’m sure most students is not healthy. Why should we have so much stress about one test when we should be learning and having fun in school? With all of this testing in school, more fun things such as recess are being eliminated because of training for the test! So, ladies and gentlemen of the school board, I urge you to put a stop to high-stakes testing today. It’s not fair to the schools, teachers, and students. Parents and students, contact your governor to put a stop to all the standardized testing. Thank you so much for your time.”


standardized tests, school, education, K-12, Ron DeSantis, FloridaA frustrated student sits at their deskImage via Canva


Since the FSA was first implemented, it came under intense criticism. Critics said it takes critical funds away from students and does not do as good of a job as national testing standards in helping to prepare young students for higher education or careers after their K-12 school is complete. In 2022, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis officially did away with the FSA program. "Today we come, not to praise the FSA, but to bury it," DeSantis said at the time.

The FSA was replaced with a progress monitoring system that was meant to reduce testing times and give students more updated progress goals as their education continues throughout the academic year.

"Instead of having one major test at the end of the year which provided no feedback to students before the summer came, we would do progress monitoring that would monitor progress throughout the school year," DeSantis added. "It would be shorter, it would be more individualized, and it would provide good feedback for students, for teachers, and for parents."

That's the kind of statement a young Sydney Smoot could get behind. And it's why her words still so powerfully resonate nearly a decade later.

This article originally appeared 10 years ago. It has since been updated with new information.



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