upworthy
Family

Mom shares how being actively parented as a full-grown adult makes all the difference

“I think this is what people mean when they say ‘It takes a village.’”

older woman hugging a younger woman in a garden
Photo credit: Canva

We need our parents after we leave the nest, just in different ways.

When we think of "parenting" we usually think of the years from birth to college age, when kids become legal adults and many start fleeing the nest. It's not like there's a magic switch that gets flipped at 18 that suddenly makes kids not need their parents anymore, but the young adult years are a time when people grow into their independence, taking on the responsibilities and challenges of adulthood gradually but surely.

But what happens after that? Once kids are grown and flown, what role to parents play? They're not rulemakers or final authorities anymore, and they certainly aren't having to make sure basic needs are being met, but that doesn't mean their parenting years are over.

A video from a mom named Hannah shows what supportie, active parenting looks like with fully adult children, and it's a beautiful example of the way parent-child relationships ideally shift over time.

"My parents could write a manual on how to practically love your adult children," wrote Hannah Cases of @hannahwiththelipstick. "I was feeling overwhelmed and this was their response."

As she sits outside with a blanket around her shoulders and a warm mug in her hand, Hannah's parents are shown playing with her child, cooking some soup, organizing and cleaning and otherwise taking some of the load off her shoulders.

"Your adult children still need you," she wrote.

@hannahwiththelipstick

I think this is what people mean when they say “it takes a village”. 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say “I’m fine” or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words “I love you”. I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻 #ittakesavillage #myvillage #familyiseverything #ittakesavillagetoraiseachild #grandparentgoals #parentgoals #loveyouradultchildren #grandparentslove #parentslove


In the caption of the video, she expanded her thoughts:

"I think this is what people mean when they say 'it takes a village.' 🤍 If your kids are all grown up just remember, they still need you. We might say 'I’m fine' or struggle to ask for what we need but the truth is everyone needs help sometimes and the support of loving parents / grandparents has the power to change everything. My parents are a constant reminder of what it looks like to practically love the people around you and put action behind the words 'I love you.' I love differently because of having parents like them and living three minutes away from each other has been the biggest blessing. I know a lot of people don’t have parents who are able to help or the relationship might be strained but blood isn’t what makes someone family and I encourage you to seek out a village and remember that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes. 🫶🏻"

It's true that not everyone has parents or a relationship with their parents that would give them this kind of support, but that doesn't mean people aren't desperate for it.

"Honestly seeing this inspires me to be this parent… I pray one day I can create a space this loving for my daughter. I wish every family had this. The world would be such a better, more healthy place."

"Such a gift. I wish we all had parents like this. 🥺"

"100000000x this!!!
Arguably we need you more than ever, now!
We crave independence when we are young, and family/support as we grow our own. ❤️❤️❤️❤️"

"I really wish my mother was capable of this kind of love and support, but unfortunately many of us don’t have this… count yourself blessed if you do!! ❤️"

"You are very blessed to have them ❤️ myself and my husband’s parents don’t ever come around for us or our 2 kiddos and it’s very sad. We have no village except our good friends."

"All I get when I tell my mom I’m struggling is ‘I remember those days.’ Happy for people who have this support but also jealous 😅 But someday I will be there for my grown kids with whatever they need."

"I hope I get the opportunity to show up for my adult babies and their babies like this someday."

"My parents are like this and I’m SO thankful. My mom showed up Monday with a coffee for me. Today both kids have swim class. My dad tags along, and every Wednesday he brings us breakfast. Little things like that, that just make it a little easier on me. My parents live 6 minutes away and I tell them all the time I couldn’t do it without them!"

"We live 15 away from my in-laws. Once a week, my Mother-in-law does one on one time with my two kids. Since the kiddos will nap during the time it’s not their turn with their mimi, it really ends up being such a wonderful break for me. It really does take a village!"

"I tell my parents all the time that I still need my mommy and daddy lol it sounds silly, but it’s so true! I’m so thankful they live one street over and are always available at the drop of a hat! ❤️"

Though it's sad to see in the comments how many people don't have this kind of support, it's also a good reminder to be there for one another when and how we can be. There's no substitute for loving and supportive parents, but any friend or family member who has the time and inclination can help fill that role when they see there's a need.

It's always good to see positive examples of healthy relationships, both to know what's possible and to inspire us to be the people—the village—we want someone to be for us.

You can follow Hannah Cases on Instagram and TikTok.

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Adobe
Adobe
Technology

Here’s how one nonprofit org is using Adobe to change the world

Adobe empowers nonprofits to fundraise, advocate, and further their missions.

True

In 2024, it’s practically impossible to function as a nonprofit without the right digital resources. Nonprofits use computer systems and applications for things like education, fundraising, engaging clients, and communicating with donors. However, with limited funding and expertise, it's often difficult to get the digital tools they need to fully support their missions.

The planet needs nonprofit organizations, and nonprofits need better digital tools. For decades, Adobe has provided nonprofits with the tools they need to fulfill their mission—helping them with everything from social media advocacy to educational videos to graphic design. Now, Adobe is offering the pro version of Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits, the most requested and comprehensive set of document and e-signature tools, for just $15 per user per year, which represents a 94% annual savings off the regular price. This will make it easier than ever for nonprofits to streamline business processes and increase their impact with engaging educational and fundraising assets – from annual reports, contracts and grant submissions to brochures and white papers.

Keep reading to hear more about how Adobe helped one nonprofit improve efficiencies and giveback potential – and how you can start using Adobe tools today for your organization.

A nonprofit success story

Albert Manero, a mechanical engineer and graduate of the University of Central Florida, founded Limbitless Solutions, Inc., as a passion project in a small lab. Today, Limbitless is celebrating its 10-year anniversary and has grown into an interdisciplinary team based at the University of Central Florida in Orlando that includes 50 interns with nine different fields of expertise. Their mission? To inspire and empower underserved communities through creative, accessible technology.

Manero and his team of experts create bionic, 3D-printed arms for children with limb differences. Combining visual storytelling with art and engineering, the Limbitless team wants children with limb differences to feel included and capable, while at the same time, able to express their personal identity more fully. Developing bionic arms covered in flowers or designed like Iron Man’s armor, kids with these bionic limbs can not only grip objects, hold hands and more, but can feel empowered to be themselves.

Using Adobe to make a difference

Limbitless, like many others, has utilized Adobe for Nonprofits offerings, which gives nonprofit organizations access to Adobe programs at a deeply discounted rate, including access programs like Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Express and Adobe Acrobat as well as Adobe’s 3D tools.

Adobe solutions are the oil that keeps organizations running smoothly behind the scenes. For the grant application and reporting processes, employees at Limbitless have credited Adobe Acrobat with helping the team secure funding and communicating clearly with donors and partners. With Acrobat, they’re able to create, edit, and manage PDF documents that look professional and polished. The company has also transitioned most of its internal documentation to digital formats using Acrobat. This includes everything from design blueprints, brand guidelines, intern contracts, and user manuals for bionic limbs.

Better tech for a better future

In addition to helping day-to-day operations run smoothly, Adobe has also helped bring Limbitless’ mission of inclusion and accessibility outside of office walls.

Using Adobe Express, the fast and easy create-anything app, Limbitless has been able to create quick how-to videos for young patients and their families that showcase how to use their bionic limbs, as well as a series of videos promoting STEAM (science, technology, engineering art and math) education. The company’s Operations, Advocacy, and Logistics team utilizes Express as well, developing content and visual assets for their social media accounts. Recently, Limbitless partnered with the Adobe Express’ Animate Characters team to create six unique, limb-different selectable avatar characters for their educational outreach and social media campaigns.

And Adobe is helping Limbitless empower kids with limb differences, too: Limbitless’ comic series, Bionic Kid, was created using Adobe Illustrator and features a superhero with limb differences who uses a Limbitless prosthetic arm. This inspired a fundraising concept initiated from the idea by a Limbitless prosthetic recipient Zachary Pamboukas, which has been used in fundraising efforts for more bionic arms and has already raised over $20,000.

Inside the organization and out, Adobe is enabling people to reach their full potential, contributing to better nonprofit organizations and, overall, a better world.

Learn more about the new Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits offering and explore more ways Adobe can help your organization today.

From Your Site Articles
Pets

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared last year.

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Health

Women are shocking their boyfriends by showing them how tampons actually work

The viral videos are a great way to educate men on a sensitive topic.

via TikTok

Menstrual taboos are as old as time and found across cultures. They've been used to separate women from men physically — menstrual huts are still a thing — and socially, by creating the perception that a natural bodily function is a sign of weakness. Even in today's world women are deemed unfit for positions of power because some men actually believe they won't be able to handle stressful situations while mensurating.

"Menstruation is an opening for attack: a mark of shame, a sign of weakness, an argument to keep women out of positions of power,' Colin Schultz writes in Popular Science. The big problem with menstrual taboos is the way that males are educated on the subject leaves them with a patchwork of ideas that don't necessarily add up to the whole picture. First, there's the information they get from growing up with women in the house.


Then, there are the cryptic descriptions of menstruation seen in advertising and the cold, scientific way the topic is taught in sex education.

"Boys' early learning about menstruation is haphazard," a 2011 study published in the Journal of Family Issues reads. "The mysterious nature of what happens to girls contributes to a gap in boys' knowledge about female bodies and to some negative views about girls."

Unfortunately, the gaps in the average man's understanding of a complex female health issue can put women in a difficult position. Whether it's denying them positions of power or a failure to understand their discomfort.

That's why it's so important for men to become better educated about menstruation.

A group of women on TikTok are helping the men in their lives better understand the subject by showing them how tampons work on the inside of their bodies by dousing them in water. They call it the Boyfriend Challenge. Some of the guys' reactions are clearly over-the-top, but it's also obvious that many of them have no idea how tampons function.

A video by the Demery family has gone viral attracting nearly eight million views. It's fun to watch, but it also shows men how tampons function and what women go through during their monthly cycle.

@thedemeryfamily22 His reaction is priceless😂 #cutecouple #pregnant #prego #viral #InLove #couplegoals #trend #tampon ♬ original sound - Kolby&Jas❤️

Rachel's man just uttered the phrase "vagina parachute."

@mrshillery829 Of course I had to make my husband do this! I will forever call tampons “vagina parachutes”! LMAO!! #tamponchallenge #husbandpranks #funny #fyp ♬ original sound - Rachel Hillery

Paulina's man was completely flummoxed by the inner workings of a tampon. "You've been carrying this like, inside of you?" he asks. "The whole day?"

@paulinat showing him how a tampôn works😭 @fabioguerrrraa ♬ original sound - Pau Torres

This guy thinks it's "like a butterfly."

@amanialzubi showing my boyfriend how a tampon works 🤣😳❤️ ( @originalisrael ) #comedy #couple #couplegoals #foryou #trend #tiktok ♬ original sound - amani

Ryley just blew her BFF's mind.

@thekelleyfamily lmaoooo why 😂😭 #tamponchallenge #trend #hilariouscomedy #couple #married #foryoupage #fyp #xyzbca ♬ Quirky - Oleg Kirilkov

This guy was amazed by the absorbancy.

Let's hope this challenge gave some men out there a better understanding of what women go through every month and a little more sympathy for the women in their lives.

Hopefully it also makes them feel a little more comfortable around period products and inspires them to pick up the correct box of tampons next time they're at the grocery store.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

From Your Site Articles
women
Internet

Parents are applauding a woman that refused to change seats so a mom could sit next to her kids

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice."

Natalia Cárdenas|Canva and Tammy Nelson|TikTok

Woman refuses to change seats for mom and kids

Traveling with preteens and teens is a breeze in comparison to traveling with little ones but as a parent you still want to sit near your kiddos in case they need you for anything. If you've traveled on an airline in the last several years, you know it's much cheaper to chose the basic seats in the main cabin.

There's nothing different about these particular seats other than the airline sort of randomly selects your seat and if you're traveling alone, that's really not a bad deal. The risk gets to be a little higher if you're traveling with a party that you'd like to keep together - like your children. One mom took the risk and banked on a stranger accommodating...that's not quite how it played out.

People sit in the wrong seats on planes all the time, usually because they read their ticket wrong or accidentally sit one row ahead. Takes no time to double check your ticket and move along, but when Tammy Nelson did a double take at her ticket after seeing the mom in her window seat, she realized she wasn't mistakenly staring at the wrong row.

This mom boarded the plane with her older children and had taken it upon herself to sit in the same row as her children, essentially commandeering a stranger's seat. Nelson assumed it was a mistake and informed the woman that the seat was in fact hers but the response she received was surprising.

"She said, 'Oh, you want to sit here?'," Nelson tells Good Morning America. "She said, 'Oh, well I just thought I could switch with you because these are my kids.'"

That's an interesting assumption when seats are assigned and many people, like Nelson, pay extra to have the seat they prefer. Now, there's no telling if funds were tight and this was an unplanned trip for the mom and kids which caused her to buy the more budget friendly tickets or if she was simply being frugal and was banking on the kindness of a stranger.

Either way, Nelson specifically paid for a window seat due to motion sickness and though she paid extra, she was willing to sit in the other row if that seat was also a window seat. But it turns out, it was a middle seat.

Surely there's someone out there that loves the middle seat. Maybe a cold natured person that enjoys the body heat of two strangers sitting uncomfortably close. Or perhaps someone that doesn't mind accidentally sleeping on an unsuspecting passenger's shoulder. But that person isn't Nelson, so when the middle seat was offered in exchange for her bought and paid for window seat, she politely but sternly declined.

@myconquering

Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷‍♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦‍♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens

Her refusal to give in to the mom's seemingly entitled request for Nelson's seat has resulted in parents and child-fee people cheering her on after she posted the details on her TikTok page, MyCONQUERing. The video has over 3.4 million views.

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice," a commenter writes.

"You did the RIGHT thing. Folks need to plan their travel together. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an inconvenience on yours," one person says.

"I have 3 kids and have sat in different rows when they were passed toddler age. I agree, book your flight earlier," another writes.

"You were right. As a woman with 3 children, I always pay extra so we're sat together," another mom says.

Nelson is also a mom so she knows how important it is to sit next to kids on flights. But since airlines have made that a luxury, as the parent, you have to plan to pay extra or accept that you likely won't be seated next to your children. Hopefully in the future, this unnamed mom is seated next to her children or pays extra to make sure it happens. In the meantime, people continue to support Nelson standing her ground.


This article originally appeared last year.

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refuses to change seats
Pop Culture

Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
millennials
Learning

Teacher explains why he doesn't like the classic kid's book 'Rainbow Fish'

The story loved by millennials everywhere might have a flawed message.

Amazon

If all you remember of "Rainbow Fish" were those holographic scales, you're not alone.

Few children’s books are as deeply ingrained into the collective millennial psyche as “Rainbow Fish.” After all, what’s not to love about those oh-so sparkling rainbow scales and heartwarming lesson about how sharing leads to happiness far better than selfishness will. Only, according to some…that’s not the story’s lesson.

In a video posted to his TikTok, Fifth-grade teacher Mr. Vương admitted that while the illustrations were, in fact, great, and the author probably had “good intentions, he still “didn’t like” the story behind this award-winning classic.

For those who never read the book, or perhaps forgotten, Vương explains that at the beginning, “Rainbow Fish is full of himself because when all the other fish wanted to play with him, he sort of swam past them and thought he was better. Then one of the fish asked for one of his scales and he refuses.”

This is where Vương feels the book missed the mark, since the book depicts drawing a boundary to be Rainbow Fish’s character flaw (more on that later).

“In my opinion, I think he has the right to do that because he doesn't have to give up part of himself or anybody,” Vương.

The real flaw, Vương argues, “was that he was not humble.”


@teamvuong Poor Rainbow Fish. #teachersoftiktok #teachersfollowteachers #teachertok #literacy #therainbowfish #readaloud ♬ original sound - Mr. Vương


Vương goes on to say that in the book, when Rainbow Fish said no, all the other fish decided not to play with him, which “made it more about how all the fish didn't accept him because he didn't give up his scales rather than them responding to his stuck-up behavior.”

Also in the book—the wise Octopus advises that Rainbow Fish overcome his pride and give up all but one of his scales to the other fish. He might no longer be the most beautiful fish in the sea, but he is finally happy. Thus bringing in the moral of the story of sacrificing vanity for peace.

“So he got acceptance…when he gave up parts of who he was…” Vương declares matter-of-factly.

Vương’s hot take seemed to resonate with a few other adults who thought the Rainbow Fish had lost its luster over time.

““Rereading it as an adult now, it made me angry. Little fish has the audacity to ask for a shiny scale, Rainbow Fish says no, so little fish goes and bad mouths him to all the other fish so they all turn on him and only become his friends when he gives up a part of himself,” one viewer wrote.

“I feel like the book had more of a ‘sharing is caring’ moral and just carried out the message in a weird way with the scales” another said.

One person even quipped, “…and now I know where I learned to be a people pleaser from. Thanks FYP.”

But still…the holographics scales are pretty neat…right? *cries in millennial*

It’s worth noting that regardless of his own personal opinion of the book, Mr. Vương still uses it to “teach about how to think critically about themes.”

“I opened up with what the theme was and then I read the story without telling them my opinion,” he says. “Then the kids made all these connections themselves and some of them looked at it through the lens of, ‘Oh it's selfishness.’ And some of them were like, ‘Wait, is he buying his friends?’”

Not only that, but the class had “really good discussions” about transactional relationships, as well as dissecting what the author's original intent might have been. They will also be creating their own alternate endings, “where the theme is not that you gotta, you know, pay for your friends,” as the last part of their assignment.

While not everyone might share Vương’s opinions on this kid’s book, we can probably all agree on his stance that “just because it has an award-winning sticker on it, it does not make it top-notch.”


This article originally appeared in August

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