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Family

Mom's comics perfectly illustrate the double standard of how society treats mothers and fathers

Why are expectations for mothers and fathers so different?

parenting double standards, moms and sexism, momlife_comics
via Momlife_comics/Instagram

"Fun" dad versus "lazy" mom.

Last November, Upworthy published a popular story about Chloe Sexton, a mother who went viral on TikTok for a video she made explaining “daddy privilege” or the idea that fathers are applauded for doing things that mothers are supposed to do.

"In my opinion, 'daddy privilege' is that subtle upper hand men sidestep into as parents that allows them to gain praise for simply…being a parent," she said. "You fed the baby? What a great dad! You held the baby while mommy bathed? So considerate of you! You picked up something for dinner? What would your family do without you?! It's all the little ways mothers do exactly what the world expects of them without a second thought and then watch fathers get praised for simply showing up."

Sadly, the post resonated with a lot of mothers, because it's true. Expectations for fathers are so low that men are commended for handling basic parenting tasks. But if a mother falls short of perfection, she faces harsh criticism.

Mary Catherine Starr, a mother living in Cape Cod who owns a design studio and teaches yoga, is getting a lot of love on Instagram for her cartoon series that perfectly explains daddy privilege.

In "An Illustrated Guide to the Double Standards of Parenting," Starr shares this concept by showing that when a man comes home with fast food for his kids he's the "fun dad." But if a mom comes back with a bag from McDonald's she is seen as a "lazy mom."

In the comics, the same double standards apply whether it's how they handle technology or parent at the park.

(Note: Click the arrow on the right-hand side of the image to see the slideshow.)

Starr was quick to point out in the comments that the target of her comics isn’t fathers, but society at large. “This is not a dig at dads, it's a dig at our society—a society that applauds dads for handling the most basic of parenting duties + expects nothing short of perfection from mothers (or even worse, shames them for every decision and/or move they make!),” she wrote.

The comics resonated with a lot of women.

"This hit a nerve with so many women! I was a single mom living in an apartment,” an Instagram user named Saturdayfarm wrote in the comments. “Next door - a single dad. Neighbors felt so bad for him that they helped him with his laundry, brought over food, and babysat. For nothing. I just shakily carried on somehow. And I had so much less money and opportunities.”

"This is exactly part of the why I feel like being ‘just’ a mom isn’t as valuable. Being so run of the mill. But if my husband has the baby in a sling, the toddler in the pram and is out walking the dog, he’s superman for letting me have one hour for zoom work," rebecca_lee-close_yoga wrote.

A father who understands his privilege completely supports Starr’s message.

"It actually annoys me when I get those types of comments / ‘compliments’ knowing it’s totally a double standard," JonaJooey wrote.

Starr’s comics and Sexton’s TikTok videos won't stop the double standards when it comes to parenting, but they do a great job at holding a mirror up to the problem. Where do we go from here? We can start by having greater expectations for fathers and holding them up to a higher standard. Then, we should take the energy we put into praising dads for doing the bare minimum and heap it on mothers who thanklessly go about the most important job in the world.


This story originally appeared on 02.01.22

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Education

Youth interest in STEM peaks around age 11. UScellular wants to change that.

Kids are losing interest in STEM subjects between ages 11 and 15. Here's what that means for future innovation.

Photo courtesy of UScellular

Kids on a field trip learn from Sania Naseem, Senior RF Planning Engineer at UScellular.

Imagine being a 12-year-old girl in a small town who’s interested in computers. You’ve learned a bit of programming online, but you don’t know anyone who works in the tech field and your school district doesn’t have the kinds of classes you need to explore further.

How likely would you be to keep and pursue that interest?

Since the internet changed everyone’s lives in the 1990s, there’s been a push for Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM) education. Universal reliance on technology has made STEM careers not just desirable but vital, and the speed at which those fields are moving means we need young people to stay interested in them.

Research indicates that we’ve largely succeeded in reaching kids when they’re young—children demonstrate a deep fascination with STEM subjects up to age 11. But something shifts during adolescence. Past age 11, interest in STEM starts to wane, often dissipating by age 15.

The question is why.

To get to the bottom of this STEM age/interest gap mystery, wireless carrier UScellular partnered with developmental psychologist and researcher Richard Rende, Ph.D. Through a state-of-the-art analysis of the research, Dr. Rende helped uncover the barriers that prevent youth—particularly girls and those living in rural communities—from maintaining and nurturing their interest in STEM.

kids walking with an adult guide near a school busStudents taking a STEM field tripPhoto courtesy of UScellular

Dr. Rende found that keeping kids from losing STEM interest as they become teens requires programs that are equitable, relatable, relevant and supportive.

Here’s what those four drivers look like in practice:

Equitable

- Bringing STEM programs to rural areas that don’t have access to advanced courses or school-based curriculum
- Countering the notion that STEM isn’t for everyone and offering buffers for when kids are confronted with stereotypes or biases

Relatable

- Exposing girls to women in STEM professions who share similar backgrounds in smaller and rural communities
- Having STEM professionals share their experiences growing up so youth don’t see them as “superheroes” doing something unattainable

Relevant

- Programs and field trips that demonstrate how STEM is applied, especially in ways that connect to the local environment or technology kids already use
- Incorporating kids’ voices to help guide the elements of a program

Supportive

- Provide supportive mentorship, especially when projects become more complicated and require emotion regulation and resilience
- Teach cognitive skills that will help kids believe they have the capacity to succeed in STEM subjects

kids on a STEM field trip Kids learning about cell towers from Cheryl Dennard, Senior Manager of Core Services Engineering at UScellularPhoto courtesy of UScellular

To test out his findings before sharing them with the world, Dr. Rende worked with UScellular’s non-profit partner, YWCA, which has an after-school and summer program called TechGYRLS, designed to inspire girls in grades 3 to 8 to consider future careers in STEM fields. Together they created a refreshed STEM program guide incorporating Dr. Rende’s research and worked with focus groups at various YWCA locations to get feedback.

“What we see to date is that programming and mentoring to ‘train’ kids to be STEM people is not always enough to sustain and encourage interest during the transition to adolescence, especially for underserved youth,” says Dr. Rende. “We need to help them see the opportunities in STEM that spark their curiosity and gain belief that they can confidently explore all the possibilities available to them in STEM, including those that go beyond the traditional STEM careers like mathematician or scientist. It could be a vet, a nurse, wireless network engineer, arborist, audio engineer, turf scientist, or mechanical engineer and may not be a career that requires years and years of higher education.”

After-school enrichment programs like YWCA’s TechGYRLS can be found in communities all over the country, and parents, guardians and teachers can help the kids in their communities by identifying similar programs and encouraging them to participate. If teachers or youth-focused non-profits want to create their own STEM program, Dr. Rende’s whitepaper can help inform their approach and design to keep kids interested.

UScellular and YWCA are working on a digital version of the program guide to increase access for even more youth and help educators improve their STEM programming. Longer term, the perceptions and attitudes of the TechGYRLS participants will be measured to evaluate if the current decline in STEM interest is being reduced or averted. Advancing innovation requires people who pursue careers in STEM fields, so the more interest we can spark and sustain in young people, the brighter our future will look.

Learn more about how UScellular is supporting STEM education here.
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Pop Culture

Airbnb host finds unexpected benefits from not charging guests a cleaning fee

Host Rachel Boice went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw major perks because of it.

@rachelrboice/TikTok

Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of.

However, some hosts are opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.”

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee. Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approaches.

Speaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.


This article originally appeared on 11.08.23

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Family

School is back in session. Here are 5 simple lunch ideas to keep you sane while you keep your family healthy.

With O Organics, it's easy.

Photo credit: Canva

Yes, school lunches CAN be easy, healthy and inexpensive.

Parents, let’s face it: prepping school lunches can feel like trying to solve a complex math equation. It's got to be nutritious, appealing, fast, and let's not forget…within budget. But what if we told you there’s a secret weapon that can make this whole ordeal a breeze? Enter: O Organics from Albertsons.

O Organics offers a wide range of affordable, USDA organic goodies that are perfect for school lunches. From crunchy apple slices to delicious, creamy greek yogurt, they've got you covered. Plus, their prices won’t break the bank, proving that healthy eating doesn’t have to be a luxury.

Now, let’s get down to the good stuff: the food! Here are some simple, kid (and wallet) friendly lunch ideas—made entirely with O Organics ingredients—to help you ditch the processed junk and give your kids the fuel they need to conquer the classroom:

1. Pasta Salad

  • Main: A cold pasta salad made with O Organics whole-grain rotini pasta, O Organics chopped vegetables (like cucumbers, bell peppers, and cherry tomatoes), and Italian dressing. Add protein with chickpeas or a three bean blend.
  • Side: O Organics apple slices.
  • Snack: A serving of O Organics Greek yogurt, with some granola for a fun topping.

2. Egg Salad Sandwich

  • Main: A sandwich using whole wheat bread filled with a mixture of O Organics hard boiled eggs, mayo (or Greek yogurt for extra protein), mustard, dill, onion powder, salt and pepper.
  • Side:O Organics tortilla chips and salsa.
  • Snack: A pack of O Organics fruit strips.

3. Peanut Butter Apple Wrap (great for toddlers)

  • Main:O Organics peanut butter spread on a couple of flour soft taco tortillas, topped with thinly sliced apples. Drizzle some O Organics honey, roll it up and voila!
  • Side:O Organics baby-cut carrots with a side of hummus.
  • Snack:O Organics cottage cheese.

4. Quickie Quesadilla

  • Main: A tortilla filled with O Organics Mexican Style Shredded Cheese, black beans, and a sprinkle of chili powder.
  • Side: A couple of hard boiled O Organics eggs.
  • Snack: Ants on a log.

5. A Hot Dog…that stays hot

  • Main: You know the drill. Hot dog (we recommended the O Organics Beef Franks). Mustard. Cheese. Bun.
  • Side: A colorful side salad with spring mix, cherry tomatoes, and vinaigrette dressing.
  • Snack:O Organics banana chips.

But how the heck do you keep the hot dog hot? We’ve got just the tip, courtesy of Allrecipes.com:

Step 1

  • Preheat an insulated beverage container by filling it with boiling water. Let stand for 15 to 20 minutes. Right before leaving, dump out water and replace with more boiling water. The preheating keeps it hot for a longer time. Place the hot dog into the water and close the lid.

Step 2

  • When your child is ready for lunch, they can take the hot dog out of the container and place it on the bun.

Remember: This list is just a starting point. You can totally customize it to your kid’s needs and preferences. You can even involve your kiddos in the lunch-packing process to make it more fun for everyone. Let them help choose the menu, make a shopping list, pack their lunches…even grow their own veggies! If you’re feeling ambitious, that is.

No matter how you choose to give your kids the best possible start to their day, making small changes and taking advantage of resources like O Organics can help make it happen in a sustainable and enjoyable way.

So, what are you waiting for? Shop O Organics now exclusively at Albertsons, Safeway or any sister store. Your kids' bodies (and taste buds) will thank you.

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Modern Families

Boy joyfully greeting his mom at daycare pickup for five years is the cutest compilation ever

That squeal of delight is just too precious.

@TeesePeese/Twitter

A mom shared five years of daycare pickups, with her son squealing in delight every time.

There is nothing more pure in this world than the love between a child and a caring parent. But even in the world of healthy attachments and strong family bonds, this viral video takes the cake.

Twitter user @TeesePeese shared a compilation of highlights showing her son's reaction at daycare pickup, and it's seriously the most precious thing ever.

"I really do love this video," she wrote. "I recorded my son's pick up almost every day and this is his reaction every single time. For his 5th bday (yesterday) I took my favorites and made a lil compilation, from infancy to just last week."

The squeals. The smiles. The skipping for joy. Gracious, it doesn't get any sweeter.

Clearly that's a boy who adores his mama—and also has an adorable sense of enthusiasm.

Some new parents may worry that sending their child to daycare will negatively affect their child's attachment to them, but according to psychologist Noam Shpancer Ph.D, that worry is unfounded as long as the family environment is healthy at home.

"Available data indicate that, for most children, parental attachment processes are not disrupted by daycare participation," writes Shpancer. "Home variables, such as maternal sensitivity, are the strongest predictors of parent-child attachment, even for daycare children."

Clearly this kiddo's parent-child attachment hasn't suffered from being in daycare. Research also shows what common sense should also tell us—the quality of daycare matters.

Unfortunately, quality daycare can be prohibitively expensive, which is why the proposed affordable childcare provisions in the Build Back Better plan are a huge deal. Millions of parents have to work to support their families and middle-class American families spend an average of 14% of their income on childcare—double what the limit would be under the Build Back Better framework. And the U.S. is an outlier in this area. According to The New York Times, other wealthy nations contribute an average of $14,000 per year for a toddler's child care costs, while the U.S. contributes merely $500.

The virtues of stay-at-home motherhood versus working motherhood have been debated for decades, but no one can deny that childcare should be high quality and affordable whether a parent chooses to work or has to work. I was able to and chose to stay home during my kids' early childhoods, but I would be thrilled for my tax dollars to go toward helping all families get the support and childcare they need to make their individual situations work.

At any rate, love seeing kiddos loving on their mamas, especially ones with infectious grins and delight-filled squeals. Thanks for capturing your sweet boy's joy and sharing it with the rest of us @TeesePeese. You brought a smile to so many faces that needed it.


This article originally appeared on 11.1.21

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Community

17 sights, sounds and feels that only children of the '70s will ever understand

Remember getting wrapped up in a super-long phone cord?

via Seattle Municipal Archives/Flickr

Kids at Seattle Center during Bumbershoot, 1973

A lot has changed since the 1970s. If you took a 20-year-old from 2024 and put them in a time machine back to 1974, they’d have a hard time figuring out how to use a telephone, get a good picture on the television set with rabbit ears, or buy tickets for the Pink Floyd or Jackson 5 concert.

They’d also probably be appalled by the number of people who smoke, the massive amount of litter on the streets, and the general lack of concern for the safety of children. In certain cities, they’d also be blown away by the amount of smog in the air.

A Reddit user directing a production that takes place in the '70s wanted to learn what life was like in the “Me Decade,” so they asked the AkkReddit forum for “some behaviors from that time that have disappeared,” and he received over 2,400 responses.

Some were bittersweet remembrances of a carefree and unsupervised childhood. At the same time, others recalled a time when children were often the targets of abuse and subject to many traumatic experiences that they were discouraged from speaking about.

We looked at the thread and chose the 17 best responses to behaviors from the ‘70s that “have disappeared.”



1. Playing with the phone cord

"Fidgeting with the long coiled cord while talking on the phone—like twirling your finger into the coil."

"We had a long cord that you could swing like a jump rope."

"Answering every phone call with some variation of '<last name> residence, <first name> speaking.'"

2. Smelling cigarette smoke

"Smoking everywhere all the time."

"I remember the teachers lounge in my grammar school oozing smoke."

"4 hour drives to see Nannie, all windows closed, both mom and dad smoking. Think of it, three 3 small kids getting poisioned from the 2nd hand smoke, pleading to stop or open the window and Dad saying 'get used to it, the world smokes' andMom saying the cracked open wi dow was 'too noisy'. Breathing through our coat sleeves with the arms opening under their car seats, where the fresh air came out. Four hours of constant nausea and illness that lingerd for 30 min after."

3. Soda cans for candy

"Returning soda bottles to the store and getting enough money back to buy a candy bar."

"Yes, having work and save up for the candy bar or pack of gum. Or being lucky enough to find a penny for the gum ball machine outside the grocery store. "

4. Clothes lasted forever

"The lengths everyone went to make things last, all our clothes were patched or sewn up and handed down. New clothes shopping was maybe once a year. Or whenever the Sears catalog came out."



5. Payphones

"Checking the change slot in the phone booths in case people forgot their coins. I also remember when phone calls were a dime!"

6. Calling the Time Lady

"367-1234. At the time the time will be 11:22 and 20 seconds — beep”

7. Playing outside all day

"When being sent outside to play meant you were given a radius to stay in like 'our neighboorhood,' and a time to be home was 'when the street lights come on.'"

8. TV was appointment viewing

"Reading TV Guide for program times."

"There was no way to record a show until VCRs came came out, so you watched a show when it was scheduled to be broadcast, and missed it if you didn’t turn it on at the time it started. So, families had to negotiate if there was more than one show on that people wanted to watch. Prime time was a big deal because that was when the three networks played their top shows."



9. Rabbit ears

"Wrapping tin foil squares on 'rabbit ear' antennas."

"When the picture got fuzzy, slapping the side of the TV set to correct the picture."

10. The phone book had many uses

"That big phone book was the booster seat for the youngest kid at the table."

11. CB radios

"References the cb radio culture during normal conversations. Everyone understood."

"Ten four"

"Breaker, breaker"

"You got that right, good buddy."

12. Long distance was pricey

"Making local calls vs long distance calls. Had to keep calls short to relatives because they were long distance. Making collect calls."

"Right, and you might add the cost of long distance calls was X amount per minute. Also, moving into a new place required a call to the telephone company to have a phone installed in various rooms and you had to preorder the types and colors."

"If you wanted to make an overseas call, you had to call the international operator at least a couple of hours before the call to schedule it."



13. Fake collect calls

"Making fake collect calls to your parents to come pick you up. 'You have received a collect call from … ‘we’re done and out front!’… do you wish to accept the call? Nope. Already got the message."

14. Before scrolling, we read

"Reading. Reading the newspaper. Reading the cereal boxes at breakfast. Reading on the toilet. Doing crosswords and word games. Before phones, you had to engage more with what was around."

"If there was no Reader’s Digest in the bathroom, you had to read the shampoo ingredients. Sodium laurel sulfate, etc."

15. The bank line

"When Friday rolled around, and you needed money for the weekend, you went to the bank, stood in line and made a withdrawal."
"We took our checks to the bank on Friday to be cashed, some for the checking account and some for spending cause everything was paid for with cash."

16. Unsafe seating in trucks

"No seatbelts, but drivers could get in trouble if car was overfilled, so a mom would yell 'duck' if she saw a cop. This would be a Volkswagen Bug with 7-8 kids piled up going to the beach or park. Totally normal to pile kids in the bed of a pickup truck - sometimes with folding chairs. Also common to grab the back of a car while you were skateboarding (there was a word for this I don't remember)."

17. Staring at the sky

"Laying down in the grass and looking at the sky. Leisure time died when portable entertainment became a thing, particularly nobile phones. The level of disconnection that's required to just stare at clouds or stars (and be happy doing it) is sorely missing nowadays. At least I miss it."

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Culture

'Bridgerton' star Nicola Coughlan's pleas for fans to stop commenting on her body

Many celebrities have been taking a stand on receiving fan commentary about their weight. Nicola's hits a bit differently.

commons.wikimedia.org

Bridgerton actor Nicola Coughlan in 2021.

The internet, for all its many wondrous things, can also be a cesspool of body-shaming, both outright and insidious. We see this most persistently perhaps with celebrities, who take on the role of dissection subjects regarding their weight. Whether being deemed “too thin” or “too fat,” comments about a public figure’s weight seems acceptable to some, simply because they signed up to be in the spotlight. But our better judgment knows this is not the case.

Nicola Coughlan, who plays the plot pivotal role of Penelope Featherington on the hit Netflix show “Bridgerton,” is no stranger to being inundated with this type of harmful, completely unnecessary feedback from fans.

So much so, that she recently posted her own truly heartfelt plea to her Instagram, asking for people to stop commenting on her body. Though we've seen multiple celebrities justifiably speak out against this, it’s hard not to be moved by her words in a whole new way.

Coughlan began her post with both civility and directness. “Hello! So just a thing- if you have an opinion about my body please, please don’t share it with me.”

This was apparently after receiving messages every single day following her breakout role.

She continued:

“Most people are being nice and not trying to be offensive but I am just one real life human being and it’s really hard to take the weight of thousands of opinions on how you look being sent directly to you every day.”

Her approach reminds us of the very real people we are often damaging through projections of outdated beauty standards and downright unfounded opinions.

“Yellowjackets” star Melanie Lynskey had also recently been invaded by an influx of supposedly well-intentioned spectators since the hugely successful Showtime series premiered.


“Most egregious are the ‘I care about her health!!’ people,” Lynskey tweeted. “You don’t see me on my Peleton! You don’t see me running through the park with my child. Skinny does not always equal healthy.”

And of course, she’s not wrong. Despite our general assumptions, being thin is no real indication of a person’s health. And in some cases, it can reveal a risk for certain diseases. Even the formerly gold standard of measuring a healthy weight, the BMI, aka body mass index, is considered flawed today by experts.

Clearly, the only weight needing to be shed is our truly unhealthy relationship with outdated body expectations.

Coughlan knows that being a public figure often invites a public examination. “If you have an opinion about me that’s ok, I understand I’m on TV and that people will have things to think and say,” she wrote, with the caveat, “but I beg you not to send it to me directly.”

Certainly, Coughlan shouldn’t have to resort to begging. But here we are. And maybe this is how the message needs to be heard. When it’s so easy to leave thoughtless or downright toxic messages on social media, we need to be reminded how it affects the hearts of real people on the receiving end. Empathy online is just as important as it is IRL.

That’s what makes her plea a masterclass in grace. She speaks out without anger or accusation, though she could. Instead she comes from a place of compassion.

Coughlan ended her post by saying, “anyways here’s a pic of me in my hotel in NY about to go to SNL, it’s unrelated to this post but delighted with my hair in it.”


Even in a battle for boundaries, Coughlan’s never one to refrain from having a sense of humor (she did also star in the hilarious “Derry Girls”, after all). And, she wasn’t wrong about the hair.

Reading Coughlan’s post, I can’t help but wonder, if she was able to treat perfect strangers with so much respect and kindness, can we not return the favor?


This article originally appeared on 1.31.22

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Joy

Two beloved cats had to be rehomed, and their full-circle story is bringing people to tears

Grab a tissue and brace yourself for the tale of Penny and Lucy and the two women who loved them enough to let them go.

Photo by Sarah Shull on Unsplash

The tale of two beloved cats owned by two caring women show how love sometimes means letting go.

There are many reasons a pet may have to be rehomed, so it's a good idea not to judge when we hear of it happening. In fact, an incredible story from Oregon animal hunger charity The Pongo Fund is bringing home the fact that rehoming a beloved animal can sometimes truly be what's best for everyone involved.

The Pongo Fund shared the tale of two cats—Penny and Lucy—and the two women who love them on its Facebook page. It's not exactly a happy story, but it's not a sad one either. It's a story of life, love and loss, and of strangers connecting in mysterious ways.

And it's genuinely bringing people to tears, so grab a tissue and read on.

The Pongo Fund shared:

"She asked us to rehome her cats ASAP. Both of them 12 years old, she’d had them 10 years. Said she needed to travel and do some things she hadn’t been able to do for the past ten years, not being able to travel and take care of her cats at the same time. Hard as it was, it was time to let them go.

She didn’t want to go anywhere exotic. No summer in France or finding herself in Kathmandu. Not Belize or Cancun or even Vegas or Palm Desert. She just wanted to see her Mom again. Old friends and family too. Back to where she came from. That was her calling. And anything else she could do this next year or two.

Giving up her cats wasn’t part of the plan. Neither was cancer. And one year, maybe two; that’s what her oncologist told her. If there were things she wanted to do, this was the time.

She adopted Penny and Lucy from The Pongo Fund a decade ago when a wonderful woman had her world turned upside down. She lost her home, her marriage. Everything stopped all at once. She loved her cats so much that she asked us to find them a new Mom. And we did.

Now, the wonderful woman who welcomed those kitty friends ten years ago needed us to return the favor so someone else could welcome them.

This woman, she didn’t want to let them go. But it was for their own good, not hers. Same thing the first woman said. Imagine loving someone that much, that you need to let them go.

Penny and Lucy. Pure love, those two.

She told us if possible, she’d like to meet the person we chose for the adoption. She just wanted them to know that Penny and Lucy were the best ever. She wanted them to go with all of their toys and beds and food and treats. And she wanted the new person to know that sometimes Lucy got an upset tummy and how Mom would put her on her lap and lay her on her back and rub it while she sang to her.

Maybe she’ll never get an upset tummy again, but if she does, at least Lucy’s new family would know what to do. Her only request was that they stay together, these two sweet older girls who each had their own bed but most often ended up in the same one.

She wanted to make sure we didn’t think poorly of her for what she was doing. She just knew that at some point soon, they were going to have a new family whether she liked it or not. If she could do it now and meet those people, she would feel better about it.

We knew how hard this was for her, because she was the one who was there ten years ago when Penny and Lucy had nowhere else to go. She said yes back then, and now, she was asking someone else to say yes.

Finding a new home for two cats is not easy. For two senior cats, even harder. But we had one card to play, and we played it then.

We called a woman who used to live in the Portland area but moved away several years ago. She used to have two cats but needed to give them up when her life turned upside down. She bounced back in a new place a few states away. New job. New life.

But always following The Pongo Fund on Facebook and cheering us on with love and kind words.

We thought maybe she would welcome two senior cats.

Because ten years ago, she was the one who needed to let them go, Penny and Lucy.

Over the years she had told us, if there was ever a cat needing a safe place to go, to please let her know. Because she knew how it felt to have someone let you go. Someone let her go. She let her cats go. So that’s where we left it. To please keep her in mind, and she would be there.

None of us knew it would be for the same cats she was forced to let go ten years ago. The cats she loved so much that she gave them up for their own good. For what was best for them. Every now and then we gave her an update, to let her know how they were doing. She didn’t want too much information, that was too hard, she said. But just to know they were safe and happy and most of all, that they were loved.

Yes, we told her, they were loved. She loved knowing that.

We called her. Told her we had a cat in need of a home. Two of them, actually. A bonded pair. We shared a bit more information. She didn’t have a clue. All at once she stopped talking and started sobbing. That’s when she knew.

Sometimes life is like a rubber band. What goes around, comes around. For this woman who loved her cats so much that she let them go ten years ago.

And now, she was there to welcome them home.

A few days later she was in Portland. These two special women hugged over their shared love for the same two cats. For both of them, the loves of their lives. One of them is back home now, with the cats she never thought she’d see again. And the other one is telling her Mom she doesn’t have much time left.

Both of them, with love as their guide.

Sometimes life is like a rubber band.

And this is why we Pongo."

Hope you heeded the tissue warning, because judging from the comments on the story, it was needed.

"I haven't even been up for an hour and I'm sobbing like A BABY," wrote one commenter.

"I don't get very emotional but this made me cry," wrote another. "I am so happy for both the cats and the women involved."

"Bloody hell, made me cry!!" shared another. "So much love and huge hugs to these two wonderful women, and of course their sweet little babies xx."

One person shared, "This is why every person who gives up a pet should be treated with dignity and grace."

Indeed. We never know what people's stories may be. Hopefully, this one will serve as a reminder that love can mean letting go, and that sometimes things work out far better than we expect, even when they don't go as planned.


This article originally appeared on 6.14.22


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