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Family

Mom notices the boy she adopted looks a lot like her biological son, so she gets a DNA test

She had to know the truth.

dna test, paternity test, adoption
via Liza Summer/Pexels and ANIRUDH/Unsplash

A concerned woman gets a DNA test.

A woman, 35, and her husband, 38, had been married for 10 years and during that time became good friends with a neighbor in her 20s. Two years after they met the neighbor she had a son. She said the father wasn’t in the son’s life because he was a one-night fling.

The woman had health issues, so the couple happily took care of the child when she was in the hospital. Sadly, the woman died when the child was young, so the couple became his foster parents and legally adopted him at the age of 7.

Years later, when their adopted son was 10, and their biological child was 5, the mother noticed that both children looked a lot alike. “Now that they are 10 and 5 years old and they looked so much like each other that I begin to have suspicions,” the woman wrote on the Reddit Relationship Advice subforum.

So, she secretly had the adopted son's DNA tested.

via GIPHY

When the results came back, the woman found out that her children were half brothers. Her husband had cheated on her with the neighbor who passed away. In a strange set of circumstances, the man adopted his son. After learning the truth about her son and husband, the wife was beside herself.

“I don't know how I should act. I am so angry and feel so humiliated, but I love the three of them so much. I feel like I am just a tool and that my dignity was stepped upon,” she wrote on the forum.

To make things worse, she still loves her husband. She said that he was “never abusive” and was a “good husband” and a “good father.”

“It feels like I was not a mother but an idiot who was used like a babysitter for his child,” the woman wrote. “How am I supposed to react? Should I tell them the truth and try to cancel the adoption? Should I divorce him? Am I right to feel like it, or am I a monster to see this child as the source of my humiliation?”

depression, sad woman, dna tests

A depressed woman.

via Daniel Reche/Pexels

The post received 110 comments, and the most popular urged her to ask herself the big questions. Do you want to raise both boys? Do you want to stay married? Do you feel like he will slight you again in some way?

I think one question you need to consider is, Do you want to raise both boys? Setting aside whether or not your husband is involved, understand that the child is blameless and isn't responsible for his parentage. Deciding what you want to do regarding the child is important. Also note that it isn't wrong to decide that you can't handle taking care of this child. Only you know if you have the capacity to raise the child, knowing where he comes from. If you decide that you can't, it is better to not try, and end up conveying all the upset you are feeling to him.

The other question is, Do you want to stay married? There can be various reasons for and against divorce. Only you can decide which ones matter most to you.

A related question is, Do you feel he will slight you again in some way? You talk about your dignity being stepped on. Is he often acting that way in many things? Was this a one-time thing? Do you think he is likely to do it again? Knowing this will help you answer the prior question.

Trying to break down all the things you are struggling with into separate ideas may help you get some control over it.

The woman’s final words on her situation were that she couldn’t resolve to hate her husband or the adopted child and that her husband’s infidelity was the only thing that made her feel hesitant about him. Further, she is legally bound to the adopted child and couldn’t leave him regardless. But sadly, even though it appears she will stay in the situation, she feels like she has no choice. “I feel trapped,” she wrote.

Upworthy has reached out to the woman for an update on her story. We will update this story if she responds.


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Pop Culture

'Wheel of Fortune' fans left shocked after contestant wins $50,000 solving impossible puzzle

“How in the world did you solve that last one?” asked host Ryan Seacrest.

Wheel of Fortune/Youtube

That was quite impressive.

Listen, while we all love a hilarious Wheel of Fortune fail, watching an epic win can be just as entertaining. And that’s exactly what recently happened on The Wheel when a contestant named Traci Demus-Gamble made a winning puzzle solve so out-of-nowhere that it made host Ryan Seacrest jokingly check her for a hidden earpiece.

In a clip posted to the show’s YouTube account Friday, Jan. 17, Demus-Gamble waved to her husband who was standing on the sidelines before going up to the stage for her next challenge: guess a four-word “phrase.”

Demus-Gamble wasn’t off to a great start, as only two of her given letters (“T” and “E”) made it to the board. And the odds didn’t improve much after Demus-Gamble, admittedly “nervous,” gave the letters “M,” “C,” “D,” and “O” and only two of those letters showed up once on the board.

“Again, not too much more, but who knows, you’ve had a lot of good luck tonight,” Seacrest said. “Maybe it’ll strike you.”

Then, all in under ten seconds (more like in 1.5 seconds), Demus-Gamble correctly guessed, “They go way back” like it was nothing.

Watch the incredible moment below:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"How in the world did you solve that last one?" Seacrest asked.

"I just dug deep, I dug deep," Demus-Gamble said.

Yeah, you dug real deep," Seacrest replied. "Congratulations, great, great work."

“Now THAT was an amazing solve.”

“Wow! That was impressive!”

“I couldn't solve that one to save my life, but Demus-Gamble got it like it was nothing.”

“There's only one way to describe this to me: 😦”

At the end of the clip, Seacrest opened the envelope to reveal that Demus-Gamble’s puzzle solve won her $50,000, earning her a total win of $78,650. Certainly not chump change.

As for her winning strategy—Demus-Gamble assured no cheating was involved. “I just dug deep," she told Seacrest. We’ll say.

This article originally appeared in January

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Health

Gen Z manager shares the time-off requests she's rejected, and people are here for it

This is a refreshing approach to leadership.

@bunchesofbeggs/TikTok

This Manager think PTO is for vacation, not "life changing events."

What does it take to be a good boss? You can answer this a bajillion different ways—being a clear communicator, earning employee trust, providing constructive feedback, and fostering a positive and supportive work environment while also being open to feedback and recognizing your team's contributions—but really, it all seems to stem from respecting your employees as fellow human beings.

And part of that means acknowledging that these employees have lives that are, frankly, more important to them than the job, and not penalizing them for it. One manager, and Gen Zer no less, seems to fully understand this basic principle, and folks are applauding her for it.

Elizabeth Beggs, who manages a five-person team for a packaging distribution company in Virginia, recently made a TikTok sharing which time-off requests she “rejects.”You’ll see why “rejects” is in quotes shortly.

One example: when a female rep notified Beggs that she was likely having a miscarriage. After the team member asked how she can file for time off to see to the issue, Beggs immediately responded, “Girl, go to the doctor! We’re not submitting time off for that!”

In Beggs’ mind, PTO is for “vacation,” not medical emergencies. What a concept.

@bunchesofbeggs Edited to clarify- 1. My team is all salary. 2. These examples are not all recent or from my current position. 3. My team works hard and hits thier KPIs above and beyond. Time off is meant to recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events #mangers #corporate #genzmanagers #sales #vetstocorporate #veterans ♬ original sound - Elizabeth


Beggs went on to explain a couple more situations, like when a parent who was “up all night” with a sick kid. And her last one wasn’t even negative—she had an employee who wanted to work a half-day to do something nice for their anniversary.

“Seriously, if any of these triggered anyone, then you need to evaluate how you run your team as a manager,” she concluded.

By and large, the response to Beggs’ management style has been overwhelmingly positive, and people seem to find it completely refreshing.

“You are not a manager, you’re a LEADER,” one person wrote.

@bunchesofbeggs Everything you do should be to better your team, not to make your life easier #leadership #ownership #corporatelife #veteran #military ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Another said,“The better you treat your employees, the more loyal they will be and the better work they will put out. Most people do not understand how management works.”

A few noted how this attitude seems to be more present among younger leaders.

One person commented, "millennial manager here. My team members are human first, employees second. Like just go do what you want but get the work done too.”

Another joked that “Boomer managers could NEVER.”

Beggs would later clarify this doesn’t mean she doesn't have clear productivity expectations for her team (who work on salary). Perhaps if she had a team member not making their KPIs (key performance indicator), there would be an additional conversation surrounding time off, but there is still an inherent respect as a fellow human being. Which, to her, means treating bona fide time- off as a way to “recharge and be used how you need it, not to handle life changing events.”

@bunchesofbeggs If you’re planning does not account for people being human- it’s bad planning #genzleaders #armyvet #militaryvet #genz #corporatelife #corporate #manager #timeoff ♬ original sound - Elizabeth

Younger generations might get labeled “lazy” or “entitled,” but they are also the ones fighting to change the status quo, so that we all may be treated less like cogs in the machine, and more like actual human beings. Its leaders like Beggs who show that operating in new ways doesn't compromise productivity, and in fact enhances it. We might not be able to change the global standard overnight, but we certainly aren’t going to get to a better place without leaders who choose to serve their community rather than a bottom line.

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Teachers

Florida teacher fired for giving zeros to students who didn't turn in assignments

The lowest grade that teachers are allowed to give students is a 50.

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

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A teacher's historic 1968 racism experiment on third graders is still incredible today

“I watched what had been marvelous ... children turn into nasty, vicious discriminating little third graders in the space of 15 minutes.”

via Chel.by.the.seas/YouTube

Jane Elliott conducts on experiment on her students in 1970.

On April 4, 1968, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tennessee, and the news devastated Jane Elliott, a third-grade teacher in Riceville, Iowa. In the wake of King’s death, Elliott heard people on the news and work colleagues making racist remarks about the slain civil rights leader. So, she scrapped her lesson plans for the next day and, instead, gave her students a two-day lesson on racism. A version of this lesson was later filmed in 1970 and shown on PBS as the documentary The Eye of the Storm.

What is the Blue Eyes/Brown Eyes Experiment?

The next day, she told the children in her overwhelmingly white and protestant school that they would be divided by their eye colors, brown and blue. The blue-eyed people would be privileged, and the brown-eyed people would be treated like second-class citizens. "Since I'm the teacher and I have blue eyes, I think maybe the blue-eyed people should be on top the first day. I mean, the blue-eyed people are the better people in this room. Oh yes, they are all right. They are smarter than brown-eyed people,” she told her classroom. “This is a fact. The brown-eyed people do not get to use the drinking fountain; you'll have to use the paper cups. You brown-eyed people are not to play with the blue-eyed people on the playground. The brown-eyed people in this room today are going to wear collars so that we can tell from a distance what color your eyes are ready."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

When lunch rolled around, the blue-eyed children began insulting the brown-eyed children, and "Brown eyes" became an insult. The brown-eyed children felt hopeless because they had no power over their treatment.

“It seems like when we were down on the bottom, everything bad happened, and uh, the way they treated you, you felt like you didn't even want to try to do anything. It was like Mrs. Elliott was taking our best friends away from us,” one of the brown-eyed children said. “I watched what had been marvelous, cooperative, wonderful, thoughtful children turn into nasty, vicious discriminating little third graders in the space of 15 minutes,” Elliott recalled.

The next day, the roles were reversed. The brown-eyed children were given all the privileges, and the blue-eyed kids wore collars. Interestingly, the brown-eyed children who experienced discrimination on the first day were kinder to the blue-eyed people when they were in charge because they understood how they felt.

The teacher also discovered that when a group of students were told they were superior, they worked through their phonics lesson faster than when they were part of the group deemed inferior. They even claimed that they couldn't think as well with the collars on, which gives some insight into the yoke of living under prejudice. The children deemed superior on the first day underperformed the next day in their lessons.


On the third day of that dreadful week following Dr. King’s assassination, the kids had learned a big lesson in life about discrimination, evidenced by a call and response Elliott had with her students where they agreed that it was wrong to judge people by the color of their skin. “Now you know a little bit more than you knew at the beginning of this week,” Elliott concluded her lesson.

Let’s hope that the children from Riceville, Iowa, in 1968 took Elliot’s lesson to heart and led a life where they, as King said, “Judge people by the content of their hearts instead of the color of their skin.” After the exercise made headlines, Elliott left teaching at the elementary school and became a full-time anti-racist speaker, conducting the experiment throughout the world. In 1992, she performed it in a controversial episode ofThe Oprah Winfrey Show.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

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Television

Let's talk about Adam Scott's nuanced portrayal of new love vs. old love in 'Severance'

Give the guy an Emmy for that season finale alone, for the love.

Apple TV/YouTube

Adam Scott plays Mark Scout in "Severance" on Apple TV+

Apple TV+ had had some real winners with their original programming, from "Ted Lasso"Ted Lasso" to "Shrinking," but few shows have wormed their way into people's minds as thoroughly and mysteriously as "Severance." The basic premise of the series alone is intriguing—a brain implant that splits a person's psyche in two, completely separating their work life from their home life—but the implications of people's brains being "severed" combined with the strange, cult-like nature of Lumon, the company utilizing the procedure for its employees, makes for riveting television.

Spoiler alert: Stop reading if you don't want to know what happens in the Season 2 finale.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The two seasons (so far) of "Severance" have revealed a growing pile of questions and only a handful of answers, as we've watched the main character, Mark, grapple with increasing unknowns as both his "innie" work self (Mark S.) and his "outie" personal self (Mark Scout). The two Marks, played by Adam Scott, literally live two different lives, with each one trying to uncover secrets about their individual and shared experiences.

In the Season 2 finale, we see the two Marks interact directly and ultimately clash over the one thing they completely diverge on—the women they love—and not only is it a wild ride, but it perfectly demonstrates the differences between new and long-term love. If there was any question about Adam Scott's acting chops before this episode, it was answered in the form of his award-worthy portrayal of Mark being in love in two different ways with two different women in two overlapping realities.


Mark and Gemma have the love of a real-life marriage

This season, we've learned that Mark's wife, Gemma, not only didn't die in a car accident like he'd been told, but she's been part of a big secret project at Lumon that Mark had been working on himself as Mark S. We've now seen Mark and Gemma's backstory, how they met and fell in love, the struggles they went through trying to start a family, and the tensions that can inevitably creep into long-term relationships. We see a loving marriage that's been tested, the devotion and dedication it takes to keep long-term love alive and thriving, and the grief of a man who thought he had lost that lifelong love forever.

When Mark finds out that Gemma's actually alive, he does everything he can to find and get to her. And when he finally does, we see the power of that kind of love. We see how the familiarity of a husband reaching out to his wife seems to break the spell Lumon had over Gemma. This love passionate, but not desperate. It's calm and confident. Solid and enduring. Scott plays it beautifully.

Mark S. and Helly have the love of teenage desperation

Mark's innie, Mark S., however, has formed his own relationship within the walls of Lumon. He and Helly R. have fallen in love, and his love for her causes the tension between him and his outie in the finale. While outie Mark is desperate to save Gemma and take down Lumon the process, Mark S. realizes what that would mean for him and the other innies. Without Lumon, they won't exist, which means he and Helly won't get to be together. The existential threat of non-existence is one thing, but losing love appears to be an even more powerful motivating force for Mark S.

But Mark S. and Helly's love is markedly different than Mark and Gemma's. For one, it's limited to the severed floor of Lumon. It's like when teens fall for one another in the confined, separate world of summer camp. The feelings are intense and real, but the relationship little chance of lasting out in the reality of normal life. The innies' world at Lumon isn't really real, even if their experiences there are.

However, Lumon is the only world they know and Mark S.'s love for Helly is the only love he's ever known. Add to that the fact that innies are simple and innocent with no baggage, no memories, nothing but the here and now, and you have the makings of an early life, immature romance. That fresh, first love is exciting, intoxicating, and desperate. It's the kind of love that makes people lose their minds and defy logic and reason. We see it in Mark S. grappling with what he knows he should do—go with Gemma so his outie that created him can have the life he's meant to have—but the pull to be with Helly (if it really is Helly and not Helena) proves to be too much for him to resist.

Fans of Mark and Helly's relationship may not like hearing it, but this is a Romeo and Juliet love, the all-consuming, self-destructive kind that will eventually end in disaster because desperation only leads to poor choices. And again, Adam Scott plays it perfectly.

Watching one actor play two roles, which are supposed to be two parts of the same person, is impressive enough. But to see him play those two selves in love in such different ways, nailing the subtle differences, is just mind-blowing. Just give that guy the Emmy now. He's definitely earned it with this stellar performance.

And yes, fans, there will be a Season 3 as confirmed by Tim Cook and Ben Stiller. Praise Kier.

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