+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Family

Mom goes viral after sharing her experience with Idaho's baffling new public library law

"My heart broke."

idaho, idaho library ban, library ban, library
@carlyjdot/TikTok

Carly Anderson went viral on TikTok after sharing her experience of Idaho's new library law.

Idaho's House Bill 710, signed into effect on July 1, is the end result of years of attempts by the state’s legislature to restrict library access.

This bill requires that libraries relocate items deemed “harmful” by anyone who fills out a form to a restricted “adults-only” area. Failing to do so within 60 days puts libraries in danger of being sued for $250, as well as “actual damages and any other relief.”

For those who want to venture into the restricted area: you must be 18 or older, have an unrestricted library card… or be accompanied by your parent or legal guardian who must sign an affidavit every time you come to the library.

If your skin is starting to crawl just reading this, wait until you hear from a mom who has experienced it firsthand.


In a now-viral TikTok video, Carly Anderson, a mom of three living in Idaho Falls, Idaho, shared what happened when she took her 11-year-old daughter to the library to get a copy of “Fellowship of the Ring,” after just having finished “The Hobbit.”

As they went upstairs to the adult section, they noticed the new sign with the whole spiel about needing an unrestricted library card or affidavit.

Okay, no problem: Anderson shows both her ID and her daughter's library card. Should be smooth enough sailing from here.

But that’s when the librarian stopped her.

“Why don't they let me? Because I'm holding a baby, my 1-year-old."

That’s right, even her baby (who can’t read yet!) needed a “library card or I signed an affidavit.”

"So me and Daphne just watched from the edge while Scarlett goes in to find her book. The librarian ended up helping her,” Anderson said.



It’s worth noting that Anderson made it clear that she doesn’t blame the “nice and patient” librarians for this mess, who seem just as “sick of it” as everyone else, and who seemed to “feel so bad turning kids away from going into the library."

And while, in the end, Anderson’s kid did get the book she needed, here “heart broke” and the thought of other knowledge-hungry kids who wouldn’t be so lucky.

"What about these kids that aren't coming in with parents? What about the Matildas out there that literally come to the library to just read, read, and read and then gain superpowers because they're Matilda? What about the Hermiones out there that find amazing answers because they go into the Restricted Section of the library?"

As one viewer sadly noted, “The Matildas and Hermiones won’t even know who Matilda and Hermione are because they’re not allowed into the library to get their books."

Sadder still, Anderson added in a follow-up video that “some of the smaller community libraries have been closed since July 1 because they just don't have the funding to restructure a library like this, or the funding to get sued every time someone gets offended."

Anderson then rattled off a long list of folks who will be very negatively impacted by this new law: marginalized groups, smaller communities, kids that don't get to come in with their parents, grandparents taking their grandchildren, teenagers looking for answers about eating disorders and abuse…just to name a few.


@carlyjdot Replying to @stephdykman Giving more detail on why Idaho libraries are hurting right now. Spread the word so we can change this! #parttwo #librarytiktok #booktok #bookban #project2025 #vote ♬ original sound - Carly

It’s no surprise that at only a month in, Bill 710 has already drawn passionate criticism. Just last week, a lawsuit to stop enforcement of the bill was filed on behalf of three schools, four parents, the Community Library Association and Collister United Methodist Church, under the claim that it violates first amendment rights.

As Anderson rightly puts it, "Thank you to our Idaho librarians for putting up with this nonsense." And folks were equally right to let this story be a reminder to vote in November…lest we slip into a real life Fahrenheit 451 situation.

Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash

There are times in parenting where you just feel kind of useless.

You can't carry the baby, take a late-night breastfeeding shift, or absorb any of the pain and discomfort of childbirth.

Sometimes the best you can do is to try to take care of your partner.

That's what brought user u/DietyBeta to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question.


"My wife watches our 1yo, works, and is 12 week pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I'm away at work?"

He says that when he gets home from work, he takes over all parenting and homemaking duties.

But yeesh! That's still... a lot to handle. No wonder his wife is stressed out.

A few folks chimed in to pat the OP on the back. After all, it's great to see a dad who realizes how much is falling on mom's shoulders and actively looking for ways to lighten the load!

Some helpful suggestions rolled in, like taking over meal prep and making her easy lunches to heat up, hiring cleaners, or paying someone to walk the dogs.

woman in black shirt lying on couch Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash


But then even more people came in to the comments asking the same question over and over: If mom is working, why isn't the 1-year-old in daycare?

u/young-mommy wrote: "Is the one year old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a child gets harder and harder as they enter toddlerhood"

u/min2themax said: "It’s nice of you to be asking how to help her but she really is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop here. It sounds like she is literally always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. Walking the dogs and making her lunches and prepping meals and doing laundry is all well and good but this is not at all sustainable."

u/alternative-box3260 said: "Have the one year old in daycare. I was in a similar situation and it’s impossible. I was able to breath after that, not before."

And u/sillychihuahua26 wrote: "She’s caring for your 1.year old while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday."

We have a legitimate childcare crisis in our country, and stories like this one really bring it to life.

Childcare in the United States isn't nearly accessible or affordable enough for most families. Period.

ChildCare Aware found that that average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year, or roughly 10% of a median family income (in 2024, it's likely even more than that — yet the actual workers at childcare centers are somehow severely underpaid).

But even that eye-popping number is conservative. Anyone who lives anywhere close to a city (or in California or New York) knows the number will be way higher. It's just not feasible for most families to put their child, let alone multiple children, in full-time care while they're young.

And yet! The percentage of households with two parents working full-time has been rising for decades. Life is more expensive than ever, and the extra income from two working parents really helps, even if it's offset by those child care costs.

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

woman in white shirt sitting on brown wooden armchair Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Now we don't know whether the OP's family can afford childcare for their 1-year-old or not, although in a later update to the post he wrote:

"As far as daycare, she doesn't want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time"

So even if you can afford childcare, there's the still the crushing guilt of shipping your child off to be raised by strangers to deal with! Classic.

(Take one guess who shoulders most of the daycare guilt — dads or moms?)

The work-from-home revolution has been a Godsend for parents in certain ways — flexibility, balance, less commuting time — but its also saddled many of them with double duty.

'Hey how about you work full-time because we need the money AND keep an eye on the kids, since you're home anyway!'

But it doesn't work like that, and trying to do both is crushing modern parents.

In fact, the Surgeon General of the United States just put out an official advisory based on the plummeting mental state of today's parents.

We know parents are having a hard time and that it's getting picked up in the national conversation. But hearing about a mom working full-time with a 1-year-old on her hip while pregnant, and a dad stuck working out of the house who's at a total loss for how to make things better really paints a pretty bleak picture.

No one should have to work full-time and parent full-time, at the same time.

A fridge full of microwavable lunches and a fleet of dog walkers isn't going to make it any better until things start changing from the very top.

Calling a pro-choice person a "murderer" is a sadly common inflammatory insult hurled by pro-birthers. In true medical terms, terminating an embryo is terminating a multicellular diploid eukaryotic organism, not murdering a person.

Nonetheless, people still invoke images of infanticide in order to demonize people advocating for reproductive health care access. Normalizing a debate around whether abortion is murder has only further stigmatized the very real existential threats women face without birth control and safe abortion access.

A recent screenshot posted on the Murdered by Words subreddit showed a heated exchange between a pro-choicer and the pro-birth person who called them an advocate for murder.



Screenshot via Reddit

The pro-choicer ignored the initial insult of "murderer" and continued the conversation by grilling the pro-lifer about how they intend to help build a world where people can healthily raise children.





The response read:

"What happens next? Once you have succeeded in your quest to stop the termination of a pregnancy - disregarding the circumstances for why the woman or couple wants to terminate (failed birth control, rape, lack of financial stability, unsuitable environment, domestic violence, mental health issues, lack of employment, medical issues, lack of comprehensive sexual education) - what happens next?"
"Who pays for the prenatal or postnatal care? Surely not a couple working a minimum wage who can barely afford their rent. Who provides healthcare and funds medical bills for a single woman with no place to live? Or a married couple who struggle to afford the children they already have? Who assists the millions of children in foster care, still waiting to be adopted? Who helps them when they hit the street at 18 with no money or life skills?"


Will you and your ilk - the self-proclaimed 'pro-life' community help to fund comprehensive sexual education for teens? How about access to affordable birth control? Why not promote a vasectomy as a viable option for men who don't want children? How about funding scientific research so men can have more birth control options than just condoms? Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs? Once you have succeeded in stopping the termination of a pregnancy, what role will you have in ensuring a quality of life for the foetus you so desperately wanted to save?"

The pro-life person simply responded by claiming it's the parents' responsibility, which ushered in a final call out of the hypocrisy of many factions of the pro-life movement.





The pro-choicer's rebuttal ended with a bang, calling out all the ways the pro-birth community fails to support life after conception:

"And there's the money shot. Here's a wakeup call - you don't get to come into my inbox and shit all over my Sunday with your over-inflated Messiah complex with your Facebook profile filled with delusions of superiority declaring yourself to be on the side of "life." when in reality your compassion stops just inside the vaginal canal."
"Don't embarrass yourself and pretend that you give a flying fuck about what happens once a foetus is born, or about the people who aren't equipped to raise them. Don't pretend you give a shit about children when you aren't prepared to do a damn thing about the millions of struggling families on welfare, or the millions of children in foster care."


Don't pretend you give a shit about life, when you would rather just sit by and smugly proclaim women should 'close their legs' because it's less energy to do so than it is to lobby for resources that would make it easier for people to become parents. Go away."

Suffice it to say, the pro-birther had no rebuttal after that.


This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.



It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.


In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared on 6.16.22

We've all heard nightmarish stories about wedding guests showing up in white, and even mothers-in-law trying to upstage the bride.

Well, romance author Amy Pennza recently shared a wedding horror story that combines the two.

Yes, Pennza's mother-in-law showed up to her wedding in a white dress looking straight from David's Bridal. It has to be seen to be believed, and luckily, Pennza posted receipts:



All of Twitter ground to a halt as people awaited the deets.



It amassed thousands of retweets as Pennza's adoring public speculated about how this tale could have ended.




After a bit more begging, Pennza finally returned to Twitter to bless us all with the full story — and it's kind of surprising. Here it is, slightly condensed:

So, a couple people have asked for the story behind The Dress. Sorry for the delay! I have four kids (yes, I married him) on summer break, so my permanent state of being is "frazzled." I called my daughter "mom" the other day.
I didn't know what my mother-in-law planned to wear. I didn't think to ask.

The morning of the wedding, all the women in the bridal party cram into a tiny room in the church. You know, body glitter and hairspray everywhere. Fifteen coats of mascara. Putting napkins under your pits so you don't sweat on your dress.

She walks in. I see it.don't remember much about the day. Most people say their wedding is a blur, and that's true for me, too.

But I know I said this: "You... You could be the bride..."

Later, my sister (matron of honor) said she didn't pull me aside and talk about it because she hoped I was too distracted to notice. My college roommate (bridesmaid) said the same thing.

But secretly, they both spent the reception looking at me, then each other, then MIL, then me, then the cop the venue made us hire—hoping I didn't go for his taser.

I'm happy to report the wedding unfolded without bloodshed, or anyone being shoved into the champagne fountain.

Then the story goes on and you realize Pennza might be the most understanding person alive:

Here's the thing: My mother-in-law is extremely frugal. And I don't mean she just enjoys a good bargain. To understand her, you have to know where she comes from.

She grew up in extreme poverty. As a child, she used to sneak into the kitchen and eat match heads. That's a pica craving, and kids do it when they're malnourished.

When you grow up with nothing, it stays with you. Forever, I think. No matter how much money you earn, there's always that little fear in the back of your mind that someone might take it all away.

But her upbringing didn't make her hard. Or cruel. Or selfish.

However, she's a bargain hunter to the bone. Her money saving strategies are legend—and often hilarious. At family gatherings, we amuse ourselves telling stories of crazy shit she's done to save money.
[...]
So when she spotted The Dress at an incredible bargain, she couldn't turn it down. If you ask her now, she says she feels terrible about it.

Although, she also told me, "I think I've still got it. We should raffle it off."

She's frugal. But she's also incredibly generous. When my twins were newborns, she drove across town every night, slept on the sofa, and did three feedings. For two babies.

Every night for months.She regularly shows up at my house with bags of new clothes for the kids. (Because she's a kick ass bargain hunter.)

When I got my first job, she hemmed all my work pants because I can't sew for shit. And because she was proud of me.

She never misses a band concert, sports event, talent show, science fair...you name it. She'd walk over hot coals for her grandchildren. She gives them everything. Because, you know, she grew up with nothing.

So, yeah, the wedding dress was a shock. But it gave me a pretty funny memory. No one who attended has ever forgotten it. And, you have to admit, weddings can be forgettable.

Sure, she wore a wedding dress to my wedding. But she has more than made up for it since. When I told her about this getting a lot of attention, and said I worried it might hurt her feelings, she waved it off. "Whatever makes me famous."


So Pennza's MIL bought the dress because it was a bargain, and Pennza accepted that. Very nice of her, as many of us might have wondered whether there were any, I don't know, non-bridal dresses on sale somewhere in the world. But sure, okay.

Lots of feelings were felt.

Pretty much everyone agreed Pennza is a champ for seeing things this way.

But also just FYI: if this happens to you, it's okay to be furious.


This article originally appeared on SomeeCards. You can read it here.

Culture

Kindergarten teacher gently explaining racism to her students is a must-see for all kids

"This is called racism, and racism has happened in the United States for over 400 years."

woman standing in front of children

Racism is a difficult subject to discuss among adults and it can be just as challenging when talking about it with children. It's important for parents or teachers to talk about it in a way that's age-appropriate and to address any strong emotions that are caused by the discussion.

Talking about about race with kids can be difficult, but avoiding the conversation helps perpetuate racism.

"Because institutional racism is so ingrained and so automatic and so accepted, without enough people wanting to enact true, long-lasting change, institutional racism ends up becoming our personal bias. But we still must be held accountable for our actions," Sarah Gaither, assistant professor psychology and neuroscience at Duke University, told CNN Health.


Over the past few weeks, the topic of race in America has come to the forefront of the national conversation after the deaths of George Floyd, Ahmaud Abrey and Breonna Taylor. While these deaths have caused unbelievable grief anger, they present parents and educators with a teachable moment.

Vera Ahiyya, who's known affectionately as the "TuTu Teacher," is a Kindergarten teacher in Brooklyn, New York, who created a great video explaining the issue of race in America for her students.

Ahiyya does such a great job at talking about a subject at a level that children can understand it's being viewed and shared by people outside of her classroom.

Let's Talk About Racewww.youtube.com

"You may have noticed, or heard your family talk about what's happening on the news … Beyond just the COVID virus, which is spreading, we also are combating a different kind of disease," she begins the clip.

"It's something that happens with the way that people think," she adds. "Some people have the belief that people with black or brown skin should not have the same rights or privileges as people with white skin. This is called racism, and racism has happened in the United States for over 400 years. That's a very long time, and by now, you would think that something so terrible would be gone. But it's not that easy. Racism is everywhere and it is our job to stop it."

She then gives her students tips on how to handle racism when they see it in the world to stop it from spreading.

"One way to stop racism is to call it out when you see it," Ahiyya continues. "That means, if you see someone being treated differently because of the color of their skin, you have the voice, you make the choice, to say 'This is wrong.'"

via Tim Dennell / Flickr

"You can decide whether to say something, or walk away," she advises. "But your choice can impact the lives of a lot of people."

She then shows how people are fighting racism today by protesting in the streets.

"So, right now, what's happening is a lot of people are making the choice to say 'that's wrong, racism is wrong' and they are talking specifically about racism towards black people," Ahiyya says.

Ahiyya ends her comments by empowering children to fight back against racism.

"You can do it by writing letters to show your support," Ahiyya tells them. "You can do it by speaking up when you see something that is very wrong. You can ask questions to your family and friends about how you can do more to help. There's so many ways to help."

She concludes the video reading "Let's Talk About Race" by Julius Lester.

From Your Site Articles