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Millennials nearing 40 are sharing their biggest mistakes so everyone can learn from them

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses.

millennials, regrets, millennial life lessons
via Pexels

Millennials are now old enough to seriously reflect on life.

It seems like only yesterday a millennial was a college kid that baby boomers chided for being entitled and Gen Xers thought were way too sincere and needed to learn how to take a joke. Today, the oldest millennials, those born around 1980, have hit their 40s and have lived long enough to have some serious regrets.

They also have enough experience to take some pride in decisions that, in hindsight, were the right moves. The good news is that at 40 there is still plenty of time to learn from our successes and failures to set ourselves up for a great second half of life. These lessons are also valuable to the Gen Zers coming up who can avoid the pitfalls of the older generation.

A Reddit user who has since deleted their profile asked millennials nearing 40 “what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?” and they received more than 2,200 responses. The biggest regrets these millennials have are being flippant about their health and not saving enough money when they were younger.

They also realized that the carefree days of youth are fleeting and impossible to get back. So they should have spent less time working and more time enjoying themselves. Many also lamented that they should have taken their education more seriously in their 20s so they have more opportunities now.

The responses to this thread are bittersweet. It's tough hearing people come to grips with their regrets but the realizations are also opportunities to grow. Hopefully, some younger people will read this thread and take the advice to heart.

Here are 21 of the most powerful responses to the question: “Millennials of Reddit now nearing your 40s, what were your biggest mistakes at this point in life?”

1.

"Not taking care of my hearing, not even 35 and going deaf." — Kusanagi8811

2.

"Not getting healthy earlier." — zombiearchivist

3.

"Staying too long at a job in my 20s, just because it was safe and easy. When I finally got the motivation to leave, ended up with an almost 50% pay boost." — Hrekires

4. 

"Thinking that I could and should put myself on the back burner for anything and anyone else." — lenalilly227

5.

"Smoking and not dealing with my shit the right way." — Allenrw3

6.

"Pining after the wrong person." — runikepisteme

7.

"I turned 40 this year and just started liking who I am. Why the fuck did it take 40 years for self acceptance?" — guscallee

8.


"Take care of your fucking back. Lift with your knees. Sure it's rad when you grab a fridge by yourself and lift it in the back of a moving truck unaided, but one day that shit is going to have consequences that won't just magically go away by resting and "taking it easy" for a week." — GuyTallman

9.

"I wish I spent more time with my dad while I had the chance." — CharlieChooper

10.

"I'm 37. I absolutely could have taken better care of my body, but I'm in relatively good health. I'm starting to realize how important it is to maintain my health. I do also think I drank far too much in my 20 and early 30's. I'm trying to rectify that now, but it's hard. So that I guess." — dartastic

11.


"I'm not sure if people have experienced the same but when I entered my 30s I became convinced I was rapidly running out of time. Rather than using that as motivation I let it paralyze me with indecision because I "couldn't afford to make the wrong choice." Consequently, I'm now 39 and, though I've had great things happen in my 30s, I regret spending so much time worrying and so little time committing to a course of action." — tomwaste

12.

"Work to live, don’t live to work. You have half your working life after you turn 40 but only 20-25 years to really live it up before the responsibilities become heavy and your joints start to ache. Live life. Really LIVE it. Experience as much you can. Every sensation, sight, sound, touch. Be open. Be brave. Live your first few decades in the fast lane. You have the rest of your life to take it easy, when you have no choice." — MrDundee666

13.

"I should have paid more attention to my parents telling me to save money and less attention when they were teaching me about purity culture." — Arkie_MTB

14.

"If I could tell my 18 year old self one thing, it would be to save 10% of every paycheck I ever got." — PutAForkInHim

15.

"Thinking that I have time to do everything I want only to find myself loosing time, and the endless energy I used to have in order to purse them." — ezZiioFTW

16.

"Not wearing sunscreen." — blueboxreddress

17.

"Not recognizing the importance of work/life balance earlier in life. My late teens, all 20's, and early 30's were spent pulling 60-100+hr weeks because I thought it was what was required to succeed. How wrong I was. Others stabbed me in the back and reaped the reward.

1.) Putting work first for too long. Work is my #1 priority during work hours now. After quitting time, I don't think about it (much) anymore. I don't vent to my wife or friends about it anymore either.

2.) Investing more into fast cars than solid long-term investments. Sure, it was fun, but I could have made bookoos more had I put that towards less-fun investments.

3.) Not using PTO and just waiting for the payout. All those years, missed. I'm in my mid 30's and I didn't actually have a real vacation until 3 years ago.

4.) Not realizing that "the good guy" often loses. Just because you're morally justified doesn't mean you're going to win. Just because there's a number to call doesn't mean anyone will actually help you. Just because "law" exists, doesn't mean people follow it, enforce it, or create justice. The world is dog eat dog and cynicism can be healthy in moderate doses." — [Deleted]

18.

"When you get out of college, keep your friends. No matter how hard it is. Hold on to them." — mpssss22

19.

"I imagine these are kinda universal:

  • Not getting fit and healthy
  • Assuming I'd be offered proper guidance on how to achieve my goals
  • Assuming higher education would help me achieve my goals
  • Spending far too long caring what people think
  • Not taking risks that might better my life when I was younger and had nothing to lose
  • Staying in relationships too long after they were clearly done." — katapultperson

20.

"Always ask for more pay. Starting, yearly, before leaving, whatever. Get that money." — SensibleReply

21.

"Spending too much time in front of a screen and not enough enjoying life." — BellaPadella


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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History (Education)

The fascinating reason people looked much older in the past than they do today

Why did teenagers look like they were in their mid-30s?

via Vsauce/YouTube

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging productsBuddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. upload.wikimedia.org

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products30 going on 60…media3.giphy.com

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person's name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces "match" their names tend to be better perceived.

Basically, this 22-minute video is chalked full of fascinating tidbits. Give it a watch below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. "Tweakments," like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever—not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it's hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can't wait to see bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Culture

Why Americans and Brits measure distances differently, even though we both use miles

How do you describe how far a drive is?

Photo credit: Canva

The U.S. and the U.K. have different ways to describe how far away something is.

The United States and the United Kingdom go way back, and despite our rocky split nearly 250 years ago, our countries and cultures share a lot in common. We speak the same language, just with different accents. We have somewhat similar legal structures and constitutional governments and derive many of our shared cultural values from the same religious roots.

We also both use miles to measure distance (which may come as a surprise to Americans who may assume Brits use kilometers like most of the world), but there's a significant difference in how we talk about measuring distance. In the U.K., people say something is x miles away. In the U.S., people say something is x minutes or hours away.

Americans using time to describe how far away something feels totally intuitive to us but totally bonkers to Brits, as explained by Joshua Cauldwell (better known as "Josh from England").

Josh says measuring distance by time is "incomprehendible" to the British mind, partially because driving more than an hour is considered a very long drive. "It's considered way too far," says Josh. "Americans do that on their commute."

He then quips that Americans can get in their car, drive 12 hours, and still be in the same state (not true for most states, but from southern to northern California or across Texas or Alaska, it is true). England is slightly smaller than Iowa in terms of total square miles of land, so there's nowhere in the whole country that would even take an entire day to drive to.

road trip, driving, distance, miles, hours, travelRoad Trip Summer GIF by @SummerBreakGiphy

People in the comments corroborated the fact that Americans use time to talk about distance and are willing to drive many hours to go places.

"You're not wrong! I'll do a day trip to the beach (2.5 hours away)... drive home that night. Not bad at all."

"Driving 12 hrs and still being in the same state is call Texas. 😂"

"Cause 1 mile in Dallas can literally take 30 minutes depending on traffic. 😂"

"This is facts. When I was in highschool I worked a job that was about an hour away from my home and I didn't even think twice about it. It's just so normal. Also I frequently drive from Virginia to Michigan which is about a 10-12 hour drive and I genuinely enjoy it. As long as I have a good music playlist or some podcasts to listen to while I drive it's not a big deal. 😂"

road trip, long drive, driving in the u.s., miles, hoursLong road trips are common for American families.Photo credit: Canva

"Americans in the summer, will pack the SUV/mini van with blanks, clothes, snacks, kids and pets, then hit the road for a couple of DAYS, for a road trip and call it a family vacation. My theory is it’s what’s left of the pioneers’ spirit in us. 😂 I drive a couple hours just for guild meetings every month. 😂"

"Distance is irrelevant when you have to factor in interstate, city traffic, country roads, time of day... 50 miles on the interstate is much faster than through town or on a country road. Here in Vermont we go from city to interstate to country all in one direction. Time is of more value than distances."

"Traveling an hour is just going somewhere to do something fun that is relatively close."

driving, bib lebowski, road trip, distance, miles, hoursHappy Pumped Up GIF by Universal Pictures Home EntertainmentGiphy

He's completely right about Americans. We might occasionally say something like, "It's about a mile down the road" but anything longer than that and we're telling you how long it takes to get there—almost exclusively by car, which probably says more about us than we'd like. But it really is because our country is so big. Having moved from Illinois to Washington State, I can tell you it's about a 30-hour drive, but couldn't begin to guess how many miles it is. I know how long it takes to drive to every major city within an eight-hour radius of my hometown, but how many miles? No idea.

He's also right on another thing: Americans will compete with themselves to beat whatever arrival time the GPS app indicates when traveling:

Oh, Google Maps says this drive should take 5 hours and 25 minutes? I'm going to make it in 5 hours flat, no question. It's like we have some kind of sixth sense for how much and how often we need to exceed the posted speed limit in order to beat the time without getting into trouble.

We even have unwritten rules for this. In town, you basically obey the speed limit, maybe only going a few miles over when it feels okay. On the freeway? At least five miles over the speed limit, but often more like eight or nine (I have a police officer friend who once told me, "Eight you're great, nine you're mine," meaning that's the threshold over the speed limit where he would pull someone over). But I've lived in some big cities where the expressway speed limit is 55 mph but if you're not doing at least 70 you're getting passed by everyone else, including cops.

Nearly all of this boils down to how large the U.S. is and how accustomed we are to traveling far distances by car. As Josh pointed out previously, the size of the U.S. is also why Americans appear to be less traveled than Europeans. Our country is nearly the size of the entire European Union, so visiting many different states is the travel equivalent of visiting many different countries for someone living in Europe.

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Education

One teacher's simple, disgusting experiment drives home the importance of hand washing

"Hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!"

Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

Simple. Disgusting. Informative.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in preventing the spread of illnesses and infections in hospitals was embarrassingly simple: hand washing. In 1846, Hungarian physician Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that hand washing played a vital role in the spread of germs, and the practice soon became mandatory in hospitals. The simple act of scrubbing hands with soap and water literally saved lives.

Getting a kid to wash their hands, however, can be an uphill battle. While it's a common thing kids (don't) do, global perspective on the importance and effectiveness of hand washing has risen since the COVID-19 pandemic. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in 2023, before the emergence of COVID-19, a survey found that only about 36% of people always washed their hands with soap, 48% sometimes used soap, and an unsettling 16% of respondents said they wash without soap. After COVID-19 emerged, however, more than 72% of respondents reported using soap every time they washed their hands. There's nothing like a pandemic (and perhaps the reality of FAFO) to strike fear into the hearts of those chronic under washers, but in 2019, one teacher did a simple experiment to show her students just how important hand washing is.

"We did a science project in class this last month as flu season was starting," teacher Dayna Robertson and classroom behavioral specialist Jaralee Metcalf wrote on Facebook. "We took fresh bread and touched it. We did one slice untouched. One with unwashed hands. One with hand sanitizer. One with washed hands with warm water and soap. Then we decided to rub a piece on all our classroom Chromebooks." Robertson later noted that they normally do make a point to sanitize the classroom Chromebooks, but didn't that day in the name of science.

science, experiment, dexter's lab, cartoon, kids, hygiene Dexters Laboratory What A Fine Day For Science GIFGiphy

The bread was put into plastic bags and the germs were left to fester. The bread that had been touched by unwashed hands and the bread that had touched the Chromebook had the most mold. The bread that had been touched by hands washed with soap and water remained (relatively) good enough to eat.

This experiment has been done before, but Robertson expanded on it by testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer. The bread that had been touched by hands cleaned with sanitizer also had a fair amount of mold on it, although not as much as the bread touched by unwashed hands.

bread, mold, experiment, education, hand washing, cleanlinessThe bread doesn't lie. Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

"As somebody who is sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired," Robertson wrote, "wash your hands! Remind your kids to wash their hands! And hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!! At all!" It's kind of making us retroactively gag over seeing port-a-potties with hand sanitizer set up in lieu of sinks.

The experiment was prompted by a different science lesson. "We had just finished a science lesson on how leaves break down during winter. The kids were kind of grossed out by the mold, so we decided to run our own version using germs and mold from our own environment," Robertson told Scary Mommy.

Weirdly, the classroom experiment received some criticism. "Lots of people actually DEFENDED not washing their hands!" Robertson told Scary Mommy. "That was shocking! It really was just a simple classroom experiment to teach about mold but we have all learned more about how easily we can spread the germs we can't see."

In the 2019 lens, this lesson being about mold seems simple enough. All of us here in 2025, though, blessed (or cursed) with the experience of the pandemic, know that washing your hands really is as life-saving as Semmelweis proved nearly two centuries ago. Research done in 2020 and published in PubMed showed that individuals who washed their hands consistently were more likely to have lower rates of COVID-19 infection. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2024, hand washing also reduces respiratory illness like colds and flu in the general population by 16-21%, and reduces the number of people with diarrheal illnesses by 23-40%.

And to be sure, how we wash our hands is incredibly important. A quick rinse without scrubbing won't do the trick. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the proper technique for handwashing is to wet your hands, apply soap, and then run your soapy hands under the stream while rotating, rubbing, and scrubbing every inch of your hands for at least 20 seconds. Usually you can hit that mark by singing "Happy Birthday" twice. Then, rinse. When you're done, dry your hands with a clean towel. Check out this demonstration from the CDC:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The moral of the story is, please, please remember to always wash your hands. It really makes a difference.

This article originally appeared six years ago. It has been updated.

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Community

Kids in a Japanese town ditch Pokémon cards for trading cards with faces of local elderly men

The men are even given special abilities and attack powers.

Photo credit: Canva and screenshot from FNN

Most popular kids game in Japanese town is trading cards of elderly men

Trading cards have been around for quite some time. Before Pokémon cards existed, kids used to trade baseball, football, and even Garbage Pail Kids cards. Of course, trading cards like Pokémon added some extra flair to the game with each character having different strengths, abilities, and attack powers. It was like trading baseball cards but on some sort of preforming enhancing substance.

The game is still popular years after it came into existence with some cards going for hundreds of dollars. But a small town in Japan ditched the Pokémon cards for trading cards with elderly men in the neighborhood on them. On first glance it might sound like a strange thing to do, but it's actually quite clever.

old men, cards, trading cards, pokemon cards, card gameUncle trading cards. screenshot from FNN

Eri Miyahara, the Secretary General of the Saidosho Community Council in Kahara Town, Fukuoka, Japan noticed that the children don't have the same close relationships with elders in the community that previous generations did. Upon realizing how much children enjoyed playing Pokémon, she decided to try creating trading cards with the faces of middle-aged and elderly men from around the town on them. They call them "Uncle Trading Cards." In Japanese culture, it's a sign of respect and endearment to call elders uncle or aunt.

Naming it that way may have created a sense of respect towards the people on the cards before the kids even met them, because shortly after the cards were introduced, the game took on a life of it's own. When it was originally introduced by Miyahara, the "Uncles" didn't have any special powers as it was just supposed to be a way for the kids to get to know their community members. But, the kids quickly upped the ante by declaring their cards stronger than others.

uncle trading cards, japan, trading cards, japanese students, community More Uncle Trading Cards.screenshot from FNN

That's when the rules of the game officially changed to include attack powers, special strengths, and more in an effort to keep up with the way the kids were playing the game. They essentially took the "Uncles" and made them into real life Pokémon, but without the requirement of them getting sucked into a tiny red and white ball when the game was over. According to Miyahara, the game is having the desired effect on the entire community.

She tells Fuji News Network, "We wanted to strengthen the connection between the children and the older generations in the community. There are so many amazing people here. I thought it was such a shame that no one knew about them. Since the card game went viral, so many kids are starting to look up to these men as heroic figures.”

community members, elderly men, men, japanese culture, card came, trading cards, unclesUncle Trading Cards with stats, attack power, and more. screenshot from FNN

All of the cards are handmade, so lately it's been hard to keep them stocked since the game has gained massive popularity in the town. Not only did kids start volunteering at community activities and attending local events, but they've started to look at the "Uncles" as celebrities. The most popular card is All-Rounder Mr. Fujii, a 68 year old former prison officer who now does community volunteer work. Kids stop him to ask for his autograph, and he's still surprised by all the attention he gets.

“I was honestly shocked when they asked me to sign it, I never imagined I’d become a trading card, let alone have fans," Mr. Fujii tells Tokyo Weekender.

trading cards, uncle trading cards, uncles, japan, community outreachGotta catch 'em all. screenshot from FNN

Since the cards are made by hand, kids can only buy them from the community center. They come in packs of three and six and, just like Pokémon cards, there's a chance for someone to grab the coveted foil/shiny card. This prjoect might have been way outside of the box, but it's proving to be a fantastic means of building community.

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Democracy

Millennial shares a spot-on theory about why his generation and Gen Zers are so burned out

They're not lazy, they're exhausted.

via Canva/Photos

A woman is feeling major burnout.

Freddie Smith is a popular TikToker and host of The Freddie Smith Podcast, where he talks a lot about income inequality and finance from a down-to-earth perspective. One of Freddie’s biggest topics of focus is how the younger generations, millennials and Gen Z specifically, have it a lot harder than their Gen X and baby boomer counterparts. Recently, he described why he believes the younger generations feel so burned out: They are spinning their wheels and not getting ahead because of the rising cost of living. This counters the boomer notion that young people are entitled and lazy.

“They're working 40 hours a week, but at the end of the month, they have nothing to show for it. So if you're not making any progress and you look back five years and go, damn, I made $300,000 in the last five years or I made $400,000 in the last five years and I have nothing,” Freddie says. “If, anything, I have $25,000 in debt, that's gonna create burnout cause you feel like you just put in 5 years of work and have nothing to show for it.”

@fmsmith319

Why Millennials and Gen Z are facing burnout

Freddie adds that the younger generation's inability to get ahead leaves them constantly strained. They are stuck in apartments and can’t grow their families, or if they do, they don’t have the same quality of life that they were raised with.

“It's the 30% increase in rent prices where people are spending 40% of their money on rent, you're still being taxed 20, 25, 30%. People just don't have any money,” Freddie adds. “People aren't having kids, and they're unable to start families. People are struggling financially, fighting financially, and suffering in relationships. This is all decline in living standards.”

stressed woman, stressed millennial, financial stress, burnout, gen z stress, young womanA young woman is stressed about her future.via Canva/Photos

Feddie’s numbers are backed up by research, and the biggest significant issue that younger generations face is the price of home ownership. Adjusted for inflation, in 1985, the average home cost $96,985 in today's money. However, the average price of a home today is a whopping $426,100. Rent is a little better, but still tough. The average rent in 1985 cost $1,031 in today’s dollars; in 2023, the average rent is $1,406.

In a video published in November 2024, Freddie did the opposite and shared five reasons baby boomers had it much easier than millennials and Gen Zers.

  1. You could buy a house for 30 to fifty thousand dollars
  2. Union jobs were more prevalent
  3. College actually worked
  4. Social Security was actually strong
  5. The invention of 401(k)s
@fmsmith319

Why Millennials and Gen Z have it harder today compared to boomers

“The boomers always come at us and say ‘Why are you saying it was easy I was living paycheck to paycheck. You don't realize how hard it was.’ Look at all the advantages you had and how hard it still was,” Freddie says. “Think about the kids today, they cannot buy a house, union jobs aren't available, college is completely out of whack. They're spending 80 grand to get a job for $50,000. It's backwards.”

Freddie makes a strong case for millennial and Gen Z burnout. Because, face it, there’s nothing more exhausting than grinding away at something and not moving an inch. At the same time, things only become harder. Rent goes up. A carton of eggs is $8; if you are fortunate to have money in a 401k, it no longer feels safe. “Humans are good at adapting,” Freddie concludes his video. “But there's a fine line between adapting and being taken advantage of. And I think we're being taken advantage of.”

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