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Michael Moore says only sending water to Flint won't work. Here are 3 things to do also.

Bottled water is a Band-Aid. Flint is hemorrhaging — it's going to take more.

Why wouldn't Michael Moore want us sending water to Flint, Michigan?

The documentary-maker wrote an open letter imploring people to think deeper than just the surface-level solution of sending bottled water when it comes to helping the city, which is in the middle of a public water crisis.

The short story of what happened in Flint in case you don't know: An emergency manager appointed by the governor chose to switch Flint's water source from Lake Huron to the Flint River. They didn't treat the water correctly, which meant just about everyone was exposed to lead in their drinking water for over a year, and officials sat on this information until it was truly a health crisis of epic proportions.

The people of Flint used to get their water from clean, delicious Lake Huron. Then it changed to Flint River's polluted water. Image by U.S. Army Corps of Engineers/Wikimedia Commons.

“I was hysterical. I cried when they gave me my first lead report," LeeAnne Walters, whose children all tested positive for lead poisoning after the Flint River switchover, told the Detroit Free Press about the heart-wrenching moment she learned they'd been affected.

"I pushed them to drink water — 'Put down that juice, go get some water.' [Now] lead is in our blood," Melissa Mays, another Flint mom, also told the Free Press, expressing her regret at having her teen boys drink the water. She says now she will be plagued with worries and doubts whenever something goes wrong with them in the future, not knowing if it's from the lead or not.


5-year-old Morgan Walker tears up during a finger prick for a lead screening provided as a free service for Flint's young children in January 2016 following the water crisis. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

Essentially, the Flint water crisis is a complex, gargantuan-level disaster that will take various phases and layers of work to address. The first phase of response has been to establish that the poisoning has occurred, ring the alarm loud and clear for the whole country, and to immediately get some clean water to the citizens. That's a necessary short-term reaction and definitely something that was needed.

And people rushed to fill that need.

Like when Cher got Icelandic Glacial to partner with her to donate trucks full of water:

And many other celebrities and regular citizens followed suit.

But what comes next? And does Moore really want us to stop sending water to residents in need?

The city's immediate need for bottled water is far from over, but the larger point he's trying to make is right on. We can only solve the problem if we focus on more than just fixing one symptom of it. Here's how we can do that.

A kind of second phase of recovery requires moving on to doing things to fix Flint's water systems for the medium- and long-terms and to rectify the faulty system that allowed this lead poisoning to occur in the first place. It'd be foolish to let the decision-makers responsible for such bad oversight just promise they'll have really good oversight this time, they swear, in order to fix the mess.

Here are three things all Americans should be doing right now (no matter your political affiliation) in order to help Flint move forward for the long term:

1. Call for Gov. Rick Snyder's resignation.

Snyder speaks to the media about the Flint water crisis on Jan. 27, 2016. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

This isn't about partisan politics; it's just a good idea for how to move on from this crisis. A neutral party is needed in Michigan to assess the situation clearly, not from the vantage point of someone who has a clear reason to minimize his role in the disaster. In his open letter, Moore explains why this is so important:

"Whether it’s via resignation, recall or prosecution, this must happen now because he is still refusing to take the aggressive and immediate action needed. His office, as recently as this past Thursday, was claiming the EPA had no legal authority to tell him what to do."

You can sign the petition here.

2. Insist the state of Michigan be held financially responsible for its role in Flint's poisoning.

Snyder is trying to have Flint declared a federal disaster zone, which will likely at some point be appropriate and necessary. But the significance of this is that it will take the state off the hook for having to cough up the funds it should be providing to clean the mess it pretty much willfully made.

Here's the financial breakdown from Moore:

"This year the state treasury posted nearly a $600 million surplus. There is also another $600 million in the state’s 'rainy day fund.' That’s $1.2 billion – just about what Flint’s congressman, Dan Kildee, estimates it will cost to replace the water infrastructure and care for the thousands of poisoned children throughout their growing years."

Fred the handyman explains a new water filter to a resident of Shiloh Commons, a low-income housing area in Flint. Citizens have been given water testing jugs, filters, and clean water by the National Guard. Photo by Sarah Rice/Getty Images.

Once the state pays its share of the clean up, the federal funds should be a next step, but the state's responsibility for the crisis should not be ignored or overlooked.

Remember the mom beating herself up for having her sons drink the tap water? Chances are she and everyone like her are going to need a lot of services to help their children achieve the best cognitive abilities possible. It's gonna require funding — every penny of assistance Flint can get will be needed — and that includes state money.

How do you insist on this? Contact your local paper and write a letter to your editor or just send lots of tweets (to news sources and elected officials), no matter where you live.

3. As soon as the state has earmarked their share of payment for Flint, the recovery operations need to be placed into the hands of the federal government. STAT.

National Guard members distribute free water to Flint citizens on Jan. 23, 2016. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

Moore has pointed out that the water replacement efforts must be bigger in scope than just providing bottled water. He's right. The federal government can send in help on a level the state just can't. Here's what he proposes:

"The State government cannot be trusted to get this right. So, instead of declaring a federal disaster zone, President Obama must declare the same version of martial law that Governor Snyder declared over the cities of Flint and Detroit. He must step in and appoint a federal emergency manager in the state capitol to direct the resources of both the state and federal government in saving Flint. This means immediately sending in FEMA in full force. It means sending in the CDC to determine the true extent of not just the lead poisoning in the water, but also the latest outbreak that has been discovered in Flint – a tenfold increase in the number of Flint people who’ve contracted Legionnaires Disease. There have now been 87 cases since the switch to the Flint River water, and ten people have died. The local hospital has also noted sharp increases in a half-dozen other toxins found in people’s bodies. We need the CDC. The EPA must take over the testing of the water, and the Army Corps of Engineers must be sent in to begin replacing the underground pipes. Like the levees in New Orleans, this will be a massive undertaking. If it is turned over to for-profit businesses, it will take a decade and cost billions. This needs to happen right now and Obama must be in charge."

Again, you can call for this by writing letters to the editor, signing Moore's petition, and calling your elected officials and asking them to take a stand together for Flint on your (their constituent's) behalf.

These are the things we can all do to help the people of Flint beyond just sending bottled water.

It's not that bottled water isn't appreciated. It is. It's just that it only goes so far for so long. And bottled water treats the symptom, not the problem. At this point, Flint needs people to roll up their sleeves and help get them back on track by holding the people who caused the problem in the first place accountable.

Matt Hopper comforts 5-year-old Nyla Hopper after she has blood taken for a free lead testing. Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images.

The people of Flint need to know that even though their state failed them, America has not forsaken them — or the possibility for their futures. Flint can rise again, in time, with our help.

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Technology

Here’s how one nonprofit org is using Adobe to change the world

Adobe empowers nonprofits to fundraise, advocate, and further their missions.

True

In 2024, it’s practically impossible to function as a nonprofit without the right digital resources. Nonprofits use computer systems and applications for things like education, fundraising, engaging clients, and communicating with donors. However, with limited funding and expertise, it's often difficult to get the digital tools they need to fully support their missions.

The planet needs nonprofit organizations, and nonprofits need better digital tools. For decades, Adobe has provided nonprofits with the tools they need to fulfill their mission—helping them with everything from social media advocacy to educational videos to graphic design. Now, Adobe is offering the pro version of Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits, the most requested and comprehensive set of document and e-signature tools, for just $15 per user per year, which represents a 94% annual savings off the regular price. This will make it easier than ever for nonprofits to streamline business processes and increase their impact with engaging educational and fundraising assets – from annual reports, contracts and grant submissions to brochures and white papers.

Keep reading to hear more about how Adobe helped one nonprofit improve efficiencies and giveback potential – and how you can start using Adobe tools today for your organization.

A nonprofit success story

Albert Manero, a mechanical engineer and graduate of the University of Central Florida, founded Limbitless Solutions, Inc., as a passion project in a small lab. Today, Limbitless is celebrating its 10-year anniversary and has grown into an interdisciplinary team based at the University of Central Florida in Orlando that includes 50 interns with nine different fields of expertise. Their mission? To inspire and empower underserved communities through creative, accessible technology.

Manero and his team of experts create bionic, 3D-printed arms for children with limb differences. Combining visual storytelling with art and engineering, the Limbitless team wants children with limb differences to feel included and capable, while at the same time, able to express their personal identity more fully. Developing bionic arms covered in flowers or designed like Iron Man’s armor, kids with these bionic limbs can not only grip objects, hold hands and more, but can feel empowered to be themselves.

Using Adobe to make a difference

Limbitless, like many others, has utilized Adobe for Nonprofits offerings, which gives nonprofit organizations access to Adobe programs at a deeply discounted rate, including access programs like Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Express and Adobe Acrobat as well as Adobe’s 3D tools.

Adobe solutions are the oil that keeps organizations running smoothly behind the scenes. For the grant application and reporting processes, employees at Limbitless have credited Adobe Acrobat with helping the team secure funding and communicating clearly with donors and partners. With Acrobat, they’re able to create, edit, and manage PDF documents that look professional and polished. The company has also transitioned most of its internal documentation to digital formats using Acrobat. This includes everything from design blueprints, brand guidelines, intern contracts, and user manuals for bionic limbs.

Better tech for a better future

In addition to helping day-to-day operations run smoothly, Adobe has also helped bring Limbitless’ mission of inclusion and accessibility outside of office walls.

Using Adobe Express, the fast and easy create-anything app, Limbitless has been able to create quick how-to videos for young patients and their families that showcase how to use their bionic limbs, as well as a series of videos promoting STEAM (science, technology, engineering art and math) education. The company’s Operations, Advocacy, and Logistics team utilizes Express as well, developing content and visual assets for their social media accounts. Recently, Limbitless partnered with the Adobe Express’ Animate Characters team to create six unique, limb-different selectable avatar characters for their educational outreach and social media campaigns.

And Adobe is helping Limbitless empower kids with limb differences, too: Limbitless’ comic series, Bionic Kid, was created using Adobe Illustrator and features a superhero with limb differences who uses a Limbitless prosthetic arm. This inspired a fundraising concept initiated from the idea by a Limbitless prosthetic recipient Zachary Pamboukas, which has been used in fundraising efforts for more bionic arms and has already raised over $20,000.

Inside the organization and out, Adobe is enabling people to reach their full potential, contributing to better nonprofit organizations and, overall, a better world.

Learn more about the new Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits offering and explore more ways Adobe can help your organization today.

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Pets

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

Couple act out their own Hallmark movie plot, and it's hilariously spot-on

Follow along on Candy Cane and Jack Alltrades' romantic adventure through Mistletoe Pines.

@lillianawilde/TikTok

Follow along on Candy Cane and Jack Alltrades' romantic adventure through Mistletoe Pines.

Tis the season for Hallmark movies—meaning quaint and family-friendly small towns, clumsy meet-cutes between opposite personalities destined to fall in love, and rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas all before the credits roll. But the cheesy predictability of it all is what makes Hallmark Christmas movies so enjoyable to watch. Or, in this case—recreate.

Recently, husband and wife duo Lilliana Wilde and Sean Kolar created their very own Hallmark style movie for TikTok, aptly titled “Under the Mistletoe,” which features every single trope Hallmark fans have come to expect. The biggest achievement of all is that they did it without any meanspiritedness, and instead managed to maintain that quintessential Hallmark charm.

When her car breaks down in a (you guessed it) quaint and family-friendly small town, big city photographer Candice Kane, known professionally as “Candy Cane,” has to rely the ruggedly handsome Jack Alltrades to replace her “combustion coupler” and help her “capture some of the magic” of Mistletoe Pines.

In the span of a little under two-and-a-half minutes, we get a romantic exchange while learning about the "naturally glittery” mistletoe that gives Mistletoe Pines its name, a fall that turns into a dip that almost turns into a kiss, and a now or never moment that causes Candy to give up on her dreams because…love.

But the real pièce de résistance is the moment Jack hands Candy a "mistletoe latte” in a sideways cup, since, as Lilliana explained in the comments, “the cups are always so obviously empty” in Hallmark movies.

Watch:


@liliannawilde Replying to @thosewerethedayss will Candy Cane stay in Mistletoe Pines or will the lights of the big city pull her away from Jack Alltrades? Find out tonight on “Under The Mistletoe” ✨ @Sean Kolar #hallmark #hallmarkmovies #hallmarkchristmasmovies #couplecomedy #husbandwife #marriagehumor #husbandsbelike ♬ original sound - Lilianna Wilde

Ugh. It really is “picture perfect,” made all the more joyful when neither Lilliana nor Sean can keep from giggling.It’s no wonder why it’s spreading like wildfire and gaining a ton of praise on various social media platforms.

“This is like Hallmark for ADHD,” one person wrote on TikTok. “The shorthand version…I love it!”

“The Mistletoe dip was on point!!” added another

Still another joked, “I’m a Netflix executive, we have mailed you a golden retriever and an old pick-up truck.”

And just like Hallmark might repurpose the same actors for subsequent films, Lilliana and Sean have made a couple of other DIY Hallmark movies. One featuring a “small town family pumpkin patch grove farm”:

@liliannawilde Replying to @a 🦋 will Jack and Autumn save the pumpkin patch? but more importantly, will Autum Frost finally melt? @Sean Kolar my husband’s acting like hes in a hallmark movie again lol #hallmark #hallmarkmovies #hallmarkchristmasmovies #couplecomedy #husbandwife #marriagehumor #husbandsbelike ♬ original sound - Lilianna Wilde

And a secret prince…

@liliannawilde Replying to @Kim Shomo part 2! find out if the secret prince will find his princess (and a little bonus singing from sean 🥹) @Sean Kolar ♥️ #hallmarkmovies #hallmark #hallmarkchristmasmovies #greenscreen ♬ original sound - Lilianna Wilde

And a talented golden retriever named Juniper:


@liliannawilde Replying to @soitsstephsantana “A Heart of Gold” on Hallmark tonight lol our favorite co-star yet, the lovely and talented Juniper Rose Tuner lol she was such a good pup and we think she has more hallmark movies in her future 😭 @Sean Kolar @juniper 🍯 #hallmarkmovies #hallmark #hallmarkchannel #marriagehumor #married #marriedlife #couplecomedy #couple ♬ original sound - Lilianna Wilde


But there’s also plenty more non-Hallmark related content that’s just as fun to be found by giving Lilliana and Sean a follow.

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Internet

Parents are applauding a woman that refused to change seats so a mom could sit next to her kids

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice."

Natalia Cárdenas|Canva and Tammy Nelson|TikTok

Woman refuses to change seats for mom and kids

Traveling with preteens and teens is a breeze in comparison to traveling with little ones but as a parent you still want to sit near your kiddos in case they need you for anything. If you've traveled on an airline in the last several years, you know it's much cheaper to chose the basic seats in the main cabin.

There's nothing different about these particular seats other than the airline sort of randomly selects your seat and if you're traveling alone, that's really not a bad deal. The risk gets to be a little higher if you're traveling with a party that you'd like to keep together - like your children. One mom took the risk and banked on a stranger accommodating...that's not quite how it played out.

People sit in the wrong seats on planes all the time, usually because they read their ticket wrong or accidentally sit one row ahead. Takes no time to double check your ticket and move along, but when Tammy Nelson did a double take at her ticket after seeing the mom in her window seat, she realized she wasn't mistakenly staring at the wrong row.

This mom boarded the plane with her older children and had taken it upon herself to sit in the same row as her children, essentially commandeering a stranger's seat. Nelson assumed it was a mistake and informed the woman that the seat was in fact hers but the response she received was surprising.

"She said, 'Oh, you want to sit here?'," Nelson tells Good Morning America. "She said, 'Oh, well I just thought I could switch with you because these are my kids.'"

That's an interesting assumption when seats are assigned and many people, like Nelson, pay extra to have the seat they prefer. Now, there's no telling if funds were tight and this was an unplanned trip for the mom and kids which caused her to buy the more budget friendly tickets or if she was simply being frugal and was banking on the kindness of a stranger.

Either way, Nelson specifically paid for a window seat due to motion sickness and though she paid extra, she was willing to sit in the other row if that seat was also a window seat. But it turns out, it was a middle seat.

Surely there's someone out there that loves the middle seat. Maybe a cold natured person that enjoys the body heat of two strangers sitting uncomfortably close. Or perhaps someone that doesn't mind accidentally sleeping on an unsuspecting passenger's shoulder. But that person isn't Nelson, so when the middle seat was offered in exchange for her bought and paid for window seat, she politely but sternly declined.

@myconquering

Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷‍♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦‍♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens

Her refusal to give in to the mom's seemingly entitled request for Nelson's seat has resulted in parents and child-fee people cheering her on after she posted the details on her TikTok page, MyCONQUERing. The video has over 3.4 million views.

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice," a commenter writes.

"You did the RIGHT thing. Folks need to plan their travel together. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an inconvenience on yours," one person says.

"I have 3 kids and have sat in different rows when they were passed toddler age. I agree, book your flight earlier," another writes.

"You were right. As a woman with 3 children, I always pay extra so we're sat together," another mom says.

Nelson is also a mom so she knows how important it is to sit next to kids on flights. But since airlines have made that a luxury, as the parent, you have to plan to pay extra or accept that you likely won't be seated next to your children. Hopefully in the future, this unnamed mom is seated next to her children or pays extra to make sure it happens. In the meantime, people continue to support Nelson standing her ground.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Health

People's lives were changed by these 13 simple 'game-changing' therapist insights

"Everyone gets one life. They don't get yours, too."

via Canva/Photos

A therapist consoling her client.

You often see people have major breakthroughs with their therapists in movies such as “Ordinary People” (1980) or “Good Will Hunting” (1987). In these stories, sage wisdom from their therapists completely changes their lives and sets them on a new trajectory.

But do these things really happen? Can the average person have a complete psychological turnaround after a few therapy sessions or one incredible nugget of wisdom that completely changes their lives?

Do people have breakthroughs in therapy?

According to Danny Seto, a Registered Psychotherapist and Registered Marriage and Family Therapist, breakthroughs happen but are rare. "A breakthrough isn't a myth, and it can happen for some people, but for most people, it wouldn't happen like that," he told Inkblot Therapy. "There would be multiple steps leading up to it."

If people have a breakthrough in therapy, it doesn’t mean they are magically cured. It’s more of a turning point where someone begins to work on significant changes. Karen Oliver, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University, says, “A breakthrough moment is not the last step in therapy; it’s actually a very important beginning to middle step.”



People recently shared the game-changing insights their therapist shared with them on Reddit, and what’s interesting is that the wisdom is simple but powerful. Hopefully, they took that wisdom, put it into action, and made big changes to their lives.

Here are 13 that are the most profound.

1. One life to live

"Everyone gets one life. They don't get yours, too."

2. You belong

"You’re allowed to take up space.’ It hit me hard—I never realized how much I was shrinking myself to fit into others’ expectations.'
"A really important step for me was realizing that I'm not a person who doesn't belong causing trouble by being in everyone's way everywhere I go, I am in fact just another person going about their daily life. I have just as much right to cross the street or go to the grocery store as anyone else."

3. The procrastination cure

"I had a massive procrastination issue when it came to my uni assignments, to the point where I wouldn’t even hand some in, but somehow always did well in group assessments. This was how that conversation went:
'So you struggle in lone assignments?'
'Yes.'
'But not in group assignments?'
'Yes, I don’t want to let my teammates down.'
'But it’s okay if you let yourself down.'
She said that last thing like a fact, not a question, and it really opened my eyes to how low my self-esteem was. I saw nothing wrong with failing myself."



4. Boundaries give you power

"Something that I learned in training to become a therapist: boundaries are for you, not for other people. So that means you don't say 'you can't do that!' you have to say 'if you do that, I will xxxx' (leave, hang up, block, tell someone else - whatever). This stops the nearly impossible attempts at controlling others' behavior and gives you all the power."

"I was once told, 'It is your responsibility to communicate your boundaries and to enforce them. It is not your responsibility for how other people react to them.'"

5. Everyone is thinking about themselves

"'People are self-involved and don't really care that much about what you do.' This is in response to me feeling like I will be judged by others for every thing I do and every decision I make. I later read a quote, "you are the extra is everyone else's life." If I make mundane mistakes or don't do something perfectly, people likely won't really notice or if they don't they probably won't think about it for very long."

6. Your feelings are valid

"Mine said, 'You're allowed to feel what you feel without justifying it to anyone, including yourself.' It hit me like a ton of bricks."



7. Stop making excuses for your parents

"'Your parents failed you. You don't have to keep giving them grace for the things they did to you.'" I always made excuses for my parents and how they treated me, both growing up and as an adult. It turns out that my therapist at the time saw straight through that. It changed my perspective on my relationship with them completely."

"Your parents know how to push your buttons because they’re the ones who installed them."

8. Compromise is mutual

“Compromise means meeting in the middle. If the other person doesn’t do their half of the work, stop doing that work for them.”

9. Negative thoughts

"To approach my negative thoughts in a neutral way. Whenever they popped up, to just be like 'okay, that's nice' and neither try and escape the thoughts nor dwell on them. Just acknowledge they exist and then move on. It surprisingly helped me so much. My therapist used a lot of visual analogies- my favorite ones were negative thoughts being like clouds that just pass by for a moment in the sky and myself being a detached, neutral observer."

10. Now or not now

"Less serious than some other answers, but while talking to my therapist about ADHD task avoidance, he said, 'It's either now, or not now,' insinuating that if it's not now, it will keep being 'not now,' until it is 'now.' That helped me a lot with getting tasks done as I think of them rather than putting it off until I feel like doing it."

"Don’t put it down, put it away. Helped me to be less cluttered/ stop losing so many things."



11. Like a child

"That you can look at yourself like your child, you wouldn't hold grudges against them and would always support them even if they fail or do something bad."

12. Fake it 'til you make it

"Isn't pretending to be a good person kinda the same as being a good person?"

"That is legitimately how I rationalized that feeling for myself. I'm doing everyone a favor and choosing to be nice when I could be mean. That means I'm nice."

13. Mind your mind

“'Just because a thought pops into your head doesn’t make it true.' I didn’t realize how often I let negative self-talk control my actor mood until they pointed this out. Learning to question my thoughts instead of accepting them at face value was a huge mindset shift."

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Mental Health

Man's 'spotting ADHD in women in 25 seconds' trick is creating an emotional response

"As I listened I started laughing because you're literally describing me, then I started crying because you're literally describing me."

Photo credit: Canva

Man's trick to spotting ADHD in women is creating an emotional response

ADHD can be debilitating at times. Sure, people make it out to be some cutesy condition where they forget things or hyper-focus on a hobby for days before moving on to something else. But there's more to the disorder than forgetfulness and a messy bedroom so when it's downplayed or placed in the category of just being quirky it's easy for those who have it to feel misunderstood and unseen.

This is especially true for women because ADHD presents differently in them and symptoms can fluctuate throughout the month due to hormone changes. Many girls are not diagnosed with the disorder until well into womanhood due to the uncharacteristic presentation though change is occurring to catch the diagnosis before girls reach adulthood.

Alex Partridge, the founder of LADBible and UNILAD is an adult with ADHD and hosts a podcast called ADHD Chatter. Recently he shared a video explaining how to spot ADHD in women in less than 30 seconds and the response was an emotional fire hydrant. The short clip, quickly goes through some key manifestations of ADHD in women and it's quite accurate.

Giphy

"They will overthink everything. That's because the hyperactivity is in their heads. It's like five squirrels on speed barreling around up there and it never stops, ever. And this will cause a lot of anxiety which is why so many women were misdiagnosed with an anxiety disorder," Partridge starts the video.

ADDitude Magazine writes women have, "a subtle symptom presentation with a greater likelihood of inattentiveness marks the ADHD experience for many women and girls, who are not outwardly disruptive to others," before adding. "Research shows that women are highly motivated to hide their ADHD symptoms and compensate for them. The symptoms that are observable are often anxiety or mood-related, which can lead to misdiagnosis."

Inside Out Hello GIF by Disney PixarGiphy

The video hits on some key components of ADHD in women like the tendency to overshare, becoming overwhelmed over seemingly small things but managing well in crisis situations. Partridge even mentions difficulty maintaining friendships due to lacking object permanence, which is extremely common and adds to the forgetfulness experienced in ADHD.

Someone who has ADHD maintaining a friendship with someone who doesn't likely leads to a lot of hurt feelings because if that person moves out of their recent call or text log, they essentially no longer exist. This isn't because the person with ADHD doesn't want to maintain connection or doesn't think their friendship is important, it is due to the reminder of that person no longer being in their eyesight. Lack of effective object permanence is also the reason if things are put away, like fruit in a fridge drawer, they're often forgotten because they're not seen.

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Partridge says about women with ADHD, "they will spend their life feeling like they're constantly just barely staying above water. They'll wish they could go back in time, put their arms around a younger version of themselves and reassure them that everything is going to be okay and that they're not broken, just different."

Women responded to his video with tears and feelings of being seen, not judged, with one woman sharing, "as I listened I started laughing because you're literally describing me, then I started crying because you're literally describing me."

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Another writes, "I actually cried watching this because no one has ever perfectly described my inner world in less than 30 seconds."

One woman shares, "Wow. Just wow. So accurate. I beat myself up all the time because I have realized the telling a similar story is perceived as me wanting to "take over" or "make it all about me" when my whole life I have meant it to show empathy. It makes me feel ashamed. But I have good intentions when I do that. Thank you for acknowledging that."

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