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Men share the best 'unmanly' things they do that make them feel good

Men are beautifully complex.

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

There is nothing unmanly about taking a bubble bath.

As society rethinks and reshapes the use of gender roles, both sexes (and everywhere in-between) are finding more opportunities to explore previously repressed aspects of themselves. It often feels like the Wild West of gender identity—an exciting new time to break through tired paradigms in search for something that is a better fit. We can see this on both a macro and micro scale, from something as widespread as more countries legalizing same sex marriage to something as simple as a man rocking a pencil skirt and heels. Each are radical in their own way.

A Reddit user asked men to name some “unmanly” things they did that they weren’t ashamed of. Their answers, though fun to read, also have an interesting through line, one of embracing sensitivity. Or, rather, their femininity. From self-care, to arts and crafts, to crying during Disney movies, each of these activities challenges the long accepted—and often problematic—belief of what makes a man a "man."

Psychology Today contributor Tyger Latham, Psy.D. writes that “Most of us immediately identify with the adage that to be a man often means: being tough, staying in control, never crying, working through physical pain, providing for your family, and never backing down from a fight. While such roles provide men with an operational model in which to exist, they can also be extremely restrictive.” He even described a condition known as alexithymia, quite literally meaning “without words for emotions,” that many male clients encounter while trying to express what’s happening on the inside.

But what if the pursuit of happiness includes the pursuit of wholeness? Some would argue that the latter is more important altogether. Men—and women, for that matter—should be able to go fishing, knit while they wait on the pond, come home and throw on an exfoliating face mask while watching a rom-com. So yes, while these answers do serve as a lighthearted digital romp through the internet, they are also symbols of small, yet significant victories.

Without further ado, here are 18 “unmanly” things that are good for the soul, no matter the gender:

1. Sewing

“I think it is helpful for spatial reasoning, attention to detail, and creativity. It is basically construction out of a very thin, flexible material that requires the builder to create the object inside-out."

2. Bubble baths

“I don't take baths much but if I do you best believe there's gonna be bubbles galore in that bath.”

“Bath bombs rule, my favorite one turns the water black and sparkly and smells like peppermint.”

3. Cute voices for animals

“In high school there was a video shown in class, and when puppies came on screen I yelled 'PUPPIES!' in a ridiculous falsetto. I still have that reaction regularly when I see puppies.”

“I do this with puppies...kittens...cats...any cute animal…”

4. Prioritizing fashion … to the point of indecision

“There are literally a few minutes where I am stressed out wondering 'I wore that a few days ago; this is too similar to what I wore yesterday' and so on. This is mostly when getting ready for work, which is business casual. I have a dozen or so button-down shirts, but I still can't make up my damn mind.”

5. A love of all things hygge

“I love fuzzy socks, fuzzy blankets, fuzzy anything.”

“I love blankets. My birthday, Christmas, valentines day; just give me more blankets. Let me make a cave of blankets and hibernate straight through until spring.”

socks GIFGiphy

6. A fondness for stuffed animals

“I sleep with two stuffed animals. It would be three, but Pete the polar bear is now with my girlfriend in the Netherlands.”

“I still sleep with a teddy bear I got when I was 4. I'm 30 now. I hope to give it to my daughter when she is born/old enough.”

7. Checking out other guys

"I can tell when a guy is attractive, I have no sexual desire for dudes but I can tell if I find one good looking, i'd even go as far to say I have a type."

8. Enjoying domestic chores

"I love looking doing things for my wife...coffee and breakfast in bed everyday, I wash up, I pack her a lunch to take to work everyday, spoil her with little surprises a few times a month etc. Turns out my friends and my father all think I am whipped. They think she has me under her thumb. I guess they don't know that we split house chores in a number of ways but I chose to do extra things as I have some extra time since I don't have to commute - it feels fair to me.They also don't understand that when I lost my job my wife encouraged me to do my own thing and that she supported both of us for a long time to allow me to follow my dream. In short, my mates and father just don't understand or want to be with a woman who is a partner and equal in the relationship.”

9. Being the little spoon

"I'm nearly a foot taller than my girlfriend, but if we're cuddling in bed I like to be the little spoon, it's hilarious and comfy."

"I once was sitting on the floor and my girlfriend at the time was sitting on the couch giving me a back rub. She eventually wrapped her arms around me from behind and asked how it felt. 'Like this room is the only thing in the entire world.'"

“Sleeping as the little spoon is really nice because it makes you feel needed on a physical level which is really comforting."

10. Crying

“Personally, I think that it takes a lot more bravery to open yourself up to something special, such as love for a pet, than to keep everything around you at arms length to numb your own sensitivity (or vulnerability if you will) to anything. You display a willingness to express yourself, knowing full well that it could get you hurt, and then bear any resulting pain, ultimately overcoming it. What the hell could be more manly?”

“I will cry at any movie where a dog dies. Every, Single. Time. A Dog’s Purpose was a very unpleasant movie for me.”

Cry GIF by MasterChefAUGiphy

11. Gardening

“It’s great being able to grow things from just seeds."

12. Therapy

“Everyone needs a little bit of therapy. Even if you’re perfectly fine, everyone needs someone to talk to.”

13. Sharing feelings with the kids

"Hugging my kids, apologizing to them when I’m wrong ('sorry I accused you of making a mess outside, I just learned it was the neighbors’ kid'), and showing them it’s okay to have and express feelings. Yes, daddy can get teary eyed too when watching a sad movie. Also as an extension of apologizing for having done wrong, being able to back down. When in an argument and find out you’re wrong, it’s not weak to say 'I didn’t know that. Sorry, I was wrong.'”

14. Complimenting guy friends

"A lot of people feel it's not manly to do so but I think it's important and it feels great having a group of guys that doesn’t just bash each other all the time."

15. Interior decorating

“I spend a ridiculous amount of time looking up furniture/wall art/etc. just fantasizing about how I'm going to decorate it when I finally get my own place.”

16. Baking

“I just donned a pink apron with strawberries on it to help my girlfriend make a pie. Her family razzed me about it... but hey, no pie for them.”

“I bake and listen to Adele. Sometimes at the same time.”

17. Afternoon tea

“I don't care who you are. You haven't lived until you've eaten tiny cucumber sandwiches and scones off a three-story silver party platter.”

18. Self-care

Christian Bale Face Mask GIF by PeacockTVGiphy

“Manicures and pedicures, obviously no nail polish, but my hands and feet are usually a horrendous pile of dead skin and callouses from working out and my job. It makes me feel a little better about people seeing them, they don’t get all of them, but it definitely makes them look closer to normal.”

“I love doing a facial cleanse, tone and moisturize, makes your face feel awesome."

“I go full-on Bateman. Have multiple face masks, skin creams and hair products. Started as a way to bond with my sisters, ended up being something that centers me in the mornings and a comforting ritual a couple of times a night.”

This article originally appeared on 3.2.22

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History (Education)

The fascinating reason people looked much older in the past than they do today

Why did teenagers look like they were in their mid-30s?

via Vsauce/YouTube

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products Buddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. upload.wikimedia.org

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products 30 going on 60…media3.giphy.com

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person's name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces "match" their names tend to be better perceived.

Basically, this 22-minute video is chalked full of fascinating tidbits. Give it a watch below.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. "Tweakments," like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever—not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it's hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can't wait to see bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Culture

Why Americans and Brits measure distances differently, even though we both use miles

How do you describe how far a drive is?

Photo credit: Canva

The U.S. and the U.K. have different ways to describe how far away something is.

The United States and the United Kingdom go way back, and despite our rocky split nearly 250 years ago, our countries and cultures share a lot in common. We speak the same language, just with different accents. We have somewhat similar legal structures and constitutional governments and derive many of our shared cultural values from the same religious roots.

We also both use miles to measure distance (which may come as a surprise to Americans who may assume Brits use kilometers like most of the world), but there's a significant difference in how we talk about measuring distance. In the U.K., people say something is x miles away. In the U.S., people say something is x minutes or hours away.

Americans using time to describe how far away something feels totally intuitive to us but totally bonkers to Brits, as explained by Joshua Cauldwell (better known as "Josh from England").

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Josh says measuring distance by time is "incomprehendible" to the British mind, partially because driving more than an hour is considered a very long drive. "It's considered way too far," says Josh. "Americans do that on their commute."

He then quips that Americans can get in their car, drive 12 hours, and still be in the same state (not true for most states, but from southern to northern California or across Texas or Alaska, it is true). England is slightly smaller than Iowa in terms of total square miles of land, so there's nowhere in the whole country that would even take an entire day to drive to.

road trip, driving, distance, miles, hours, travel Road Trip Summer GIF by @SummerBreakGiphy

People in the comments corroborated the fact that Americans use time to talk about distance and are willing to drive many hours to go places.

"You're not wrong! I'll do a day trip to the beach (2.5 hours away)... drive home that night. Not bad at all."

"Driving 12 hrs and still being in the same state is call Texas. 😂"

"Cause 1 mile in Dallas can literally take 30 minutes depending on traffic. 😂"

"This is facts. When I was in highschool I worked a job that was about an hour away from my home and I didn't even think twice about it. It's just so normal. Also I frequently drive from Virginia to Michigan which is about a 10-12 hour drive and I genuinely enjoy it. As long as I have a good music playlist or some podcasts to listen to while I drive it's not a big deal. 😂"

road trip, long drive, driving in the u.s., miles, hours Long road trips are common for American families.Photo credit: Canva

"Americans in the summer, will pack the SUV/mini van with blanks, clothes, snacks, kids and pets, then hit the road for a couple of DAYS, for a road trip and call it a family vacation. My theory is it’s what’s left of the pioneers’ spirit in us. 😂 I drive a couple hours just for guild meetings every month. 😂"

"Distance is irrelevant when you have to factor in interstate, city traffic, country roads, time of day... 50 miles on the interstate is much faster than through town or on a country road. Here in Vermont we go from city to interstate to country all in one direction. Time is of more value than distances."

"Traveling an hour is just going somewhere to do something fun that is relatively close."

driving, bib lebowski, road trip, distance, miles, hours Happy Pumped Up GIF by Universal Pictures Home EntertainmentGiphy

He's completely right about Americans. We might occasionally say something like, "It's about a mile down the road" but anything longer than that and we're telling you how long it takes to get there—almost exclusively by car, which probably says more about us than we'd like. But it really is because our country is so big. Having moved from Illinois to Washington State, I can tell you it's about a 30-hour drive, but couldn't begin to guess how many miles it is. I know how long it takes to drive to every major city within an eight-hour radius of my hometown, but how many miles? No idea.

He's also right on another thing: Americans will compete with themselves to beat whatever arrival time the GPS app indicates when traveling:

See on Instagram

Oh, Google Maps says this drive should take 5 hours and 25 minutes? I'm going to make it in 5 hours flat, no question. It's like we have some kind of sixth sense for how much and how often we need to exceed the posted speed limit in order to beat the time without getting into trouble.

We even have unwritten rules for this. In town, you basically obey the speed limit, maybe only going a few miles over when it feels okay. On the freeway? At least five miles over the speed limit, but often more like eight or nine (I have a police officer friend who once told me, "Eight you're great, nine you're mine," meaning that's the threshold over the speed limit where he would pull someone over). But I've lived in some big cities where the expressway speed limit is 55 mph but if you're not doing at least 70 you're getting passed by everyone else, including cops.

Nearly all of this boils down to how large the U.S. is and how accustomed we are to traveling far distances by car. As Josh pointed out previously, the size of the U.S. is also why Americans appear to be less traveled than Europeans. Our country is nearly the size of the entire European Union, so visiting many different states is the travel equivalent of visiting many different countries for someone living in Europe.

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Education

One teacher's simple, disgusting experiment drives home the importance of hand washing

"Hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!"

Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

Simple. Disgusting. Informative.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in preventing the spread of illnesses and infections in hospitals was embarrassingly simple: hand washing. In 1846, Hungarian physician Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that hand washing played a vital role in the spread of germs, and the practice soon became mandatory in hospitals. The simple act of scrubbing hands with soap and water literally saved lives.

Getting a kid to wash their hands, however, can be an uphill battle. While it's a common thing kids (don't) do, global perspective on the importance and effectiveness of hand washing has risen since the COVID-19 pandemic. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in 2023, before the emergence of COVID-19, a survey found that only about 36% of people always washed their hands with soap, 48% sometimes used soap, and an unsettling 16% of respondents said they wash without soap. After COVID-19 emerged, however, more than 72% of respondents reported using soap every time they washed their hands. There's nothing like a pandemic (and perhaps the reality of FAFO) to strike fear into the hearts of those chronic under washers, but in 2019, one teacher did a simple experiment to show her students just how important hand washing is.

"We did a science project in class this last month as flu season was starting," teacher Dayna Robertson and classroom behavioral specialist Jaralee Metcalf wrote on Facebook. "We took fresh bread and touched it. We did one slice untouched. One with unwashed hands. One with hand sanitizer. One with washed hands with warm water and soap. Then we decided to rub a piece on all our classroom Chromebooks." Robertson later noted that they normally do make a point to sanitize the classroom Chromebooks, but didn't that day in the name of science.

science, experiment, dexter's lab, cartoon, kids, hygiene Dexters Laboratory What A Fine Day For Science GIFGiphy

The bread was put into plastic bags and the germs were left to fester. The bread that had been touched by unwashed hands and the bread that had touched the Chromebook had the most mold. The bread that had been touched by hands washed with soap and water remained (relatively) good enough to eat.

This experiment has been done before, but Robertson expanded on it by testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer. The bread that had been touched by hands cleaned with sanitizer also had a fair amount of mold on it, although not as much as the bread touched by unwashed hands.

bread, mold, experiment, education, hand washing, cleanliness The bread doesn't lie. Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

"As somebody who is sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired," Robertson wrote, "wash your hands! Remind your kids to wash their hands! And hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!! At all!" It's kind of making us retroactively gag over seeing port-a-potties with hand sanitizer set up in lieu of sinks.

The experiment was prompted by a different science lesson. "We had just finished a science lesson on how leaves break down during winter. The kids were kind of grossed out by the mold, so we decided to run our own version using germs and mold from our own environment," Robertson told Scary Mommy.

Weirdly, the classroom experiment received some criticism. "Lots of people actually DEFENDED not washing their hands!" Robertson told Scary Mommy. "That was shocking! It really was just a simple classroom experiment to teach about mold but we have all learned more about how easily we can spread the germs we can't see."

In the 2019 lens, this lesson being about mold seems simple enough. All of us here in 2025, though, blessed (or cursed) with the experience of the pandemic, know that washing your hands really is as life-saving as Semmelweis proved nearly two centuries ago. Research done in 2020 and published in PubMed showed that individuals who washed their hands consistently were more likely to have lower rates of COVID-19 infection. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2024, hand washing also reduces respiratory illness like colds and flu in the general population by 16-21%, and reduces the number of people with diarrheal illnesses by 23-40%.

And to be sure, how we wash our hands is incredibly important. A quick rinse without scrubbing won't do the trick. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the proper technique for handwashing is to wet your hands, apply soap, and then run your soapy hands under the stream while rotating, rubbing, and scrubbing every inch of your hands for at least 20 seconds. Usually you can hit that mark by singing "Happy Birthday" twice. Then, rinse. When you're done, dry your hands with a clean towel. Check out this demonstration from the CDC:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The moral of the story is, please, please remember to always wash your hands. It really makes a difference.

This article originally appeared six years ago. It has been updated.

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Community

Kids in a Japanese town ditch Pokémon cards for trading cards with faces of local elderly men

The men are even given special abilities and attack powers.

Photo credit: Canva and screenshot from FNN

Most popular kids game in Japanese town is trading cards of elderly men

Trading cards have been around for quite some time. Before Pokémon cards existed, kids used to trade baseball, football, and even Garbage Pail Kids cards. Of course, trading cards like Pokémon added some extra flair to the game with each character having different strengths, abilities, and attack powers. It was like trading baseball cards but on some sort of preforming enhancing substance.

The game is still popular years after it came into existence with some cards going for hundreds of dollars. But a small town in Japan ditched the Pokémon cards for trading cards with elderly men in the neighborhood on them. On first glance it might sound like a strange thing to do, but it's actually quite clever.

old men, cards, trading cards, pokemon cards, card game Uncle trading cards. screenshot from FNN

Eri Miyahara, the Secretary General of the Saidosho Community Council in Kahara Town, Fukuoka, Japan noticed that the children don't have the same close relationships with elders in the community that previous generations did. Upon realizing how much children enjoyed playing Pokémon, she decided to try creating trading cards with the faces of middle-aged and elderly men from around the town on them. They call them "Uncle Trading Cards." In Japanese culture, it's a sign of respect and endearment to call elders uncle or aunt.

Naming it that way may have created a sense of respect towards the people on the cards before the kids even met them, because shortly after the cards were introduced, the game took on a life of it's own. When it was originally introduced by Miyahara, the "Uncles" didn't have any special powers as it was just supposed to be a way for the kids to get to know their community members. But, the kids quickly upped the ante by declaring their cards stronger than others.

uncle trading cards, japan, trading cards, japanese students, community More Uncle Trading Cards.screenshot from FNN

That's when the rules of the game officially changed to include attack powers, special strengths, and more in an effort to keep up with the way the kids were playing the game. They essentially took the "Uncles" and made them into real life Pokémon, but without the requirement of them getting sucked into a tiny red and white ball when the game was over. According to Miyahara, the game is having the desired effect on the entire community.

She tells Fuji News Network, "We wanted to strengthen the connection between the children and the older generations in the community. There are so many amazing people here. I thought it was such a shame that no one knew about them. Since the card game went viral, so many kids are starting to look up to these men as heroic figures.”

community members, elderly men, men, japanese culture, card came, trading cards, uncles Uncle Trading Cards with stats, attack power, and more. screenshot from FNN

All of the cards are handmade, so lately it's been hard to keep them stocked since the game has gained massive popularity in the town. Not only did kids start volunteering at community activities and attending local events, but they've started to look at the "Uncles" as celebrities. The most popular card is All-Rounder Mr. Fujii, a 68 year old former prison officer who now does community volunteer work. Kids stop him to ask for his autograph, and he's still surprised by all the attention he gets.

“I was honestly shocked when they asked me to sign it, I never imagined I’d become a trading card, let alone have fans," Mr. Fujii tells Tokyo Weekender.

trading cards, uncle trading cards, uncles, japan, community outreach Gotta catch 'em all. screenshot from FNN

Since the cards are made by hand, kids can only buy them from the community center. They come in packs of three and six and, just like Pokémon cards, there's a chance for someone to grab the coveted foil/shiny card. This prjoect might have been way outside of the box, but it's proving to be a fantastic means of building community.

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Democracy

Millennial shares a spot-on theory about why his generation and Gen Zers are so burned out

They're not lazy, they're exhausted.

via Canva/Photos

A woman is feeling major burnout.

Freddie Smith is a popular TikToker and host of The Freddie Smith Podcast, where he talks a lot about income inequality and finance from a down-to-earth perspective. One of Freddie’s biggest topics of focus is how the younger generations, millennials and Gen Z specifically, have it a lot harder than their Gen X and baby boomer counterparts. Recently, he described why he believes the younger generations feel so burned out: They are spinning their wheels and not getting ahead because of the rising cost of living. This counters the boomer notion that young people are entitled and lazy.

“They're working 40 hours a week, but at the end of the month, they have nothing to show for it. So if you're not making any progress and you look back five years and go, damn, I made $300,000 in the last five years or I made $400,000 in the last five years and I have nothing,” Freddie says. “If, anything, I have $25,000 in debt, that's gonna create burnout cause you feel like you just put in 5 years of work and have nothing to show for it.”

@fmsmith319
Why Millennials and Gen Z are facing burnout

Freddie adds that the younger generation's inability to get ahead leaves them constantly strained. They are stuck in apartments and can’t grow their families, or if they do, they don’t have the same quality of life that they were raised with.

“It's the 30% increase in rent prices where people are spending 40% of their money on rent, you're still being taxed 20, 25, 30%. People just don't have any money,” Freddie adds. “People aren't having kids, and they're unable to start families. People are struggling financially, fighting financially, and suffering in relationships. This is all decline in living standards.”

stressed woman, stressed millennial, financial stress, burnout, gen z stress, young woman A young woman is stressed about her future.via Canva/Photos

Feddie’s numbers are backed up by research, and the biggest significant issue that younger generations face is the price of home ownership. Adjusted for inflation, in 1985, the average home cost $96,985 in today's money. However, the average price of a home today is a whopping $426,100. Rent is a little better, but still tough. The average rent in 1985 cost $1,031 in today’s dollars; in 2023, the average rent is $1,406.

In a video published in November 2024, Freddie did the opposite and shared five reasons baby boomers had it much easier than millennials and Gen Zers.

You could buy a house for 30 to fifty thousand dollars
Union jobs were more prevalent
College actually worked
Social Security was actually strong
The invention of 401(k)s

@fmsmith319
Why Millennials and Gen Z have it harder today compared to boomers

“The boomers always come at us and say ‘Why are you saying it was easy I was living paycheck to paycheck. You don't realize how hard it was.’ Look at all the advantages you had and how hard it still was,” Freddie says. “Think about the kids today, they cannot buy a house, union jobs aren't available, college is completely out of whack. They're spending 80 grand to get a job for $50,000. It's backwards.”

Freddie makes a strong case for millennial and Gen Z burnout. Because, face it, there’s nothing more exhausting than grinding away at something and not moving an inch. At the same time, things only become harder. Rent goes up. A carton of eggs is $8; if you are fortunate to have money in a 401k, it no longer feels safe. “Humans are good at adapting,” Freddie concludes his video. “But there's a fine line between adapting and being taken advantage of. And I think we're being taken advantage of.”

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