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A growing number of married Americans are together but live in separate homes. Here's why.

Nearly four million Americans don't live with their spouses.

living apart together, lat couples, nontraditional relationships
via Pexels

A couple celebrates while packing their home.

One of the topics that we like to highlight on Upworthy is people who are redefining what it means to be in a relationship. Recently, we’ve shared the stories of platonic life partners, moms who work together as part of a “mommune” and a polyamorous family with four equally-committed parents.

A growing number of people are reevaluating traditional relationships and entering lifestyles that work for them instead of trying to fit into preexisting roles. It makes sense because the more lifestyle options that are available, the greater chance we have to be happy.

A recent trend in unconventional relationships is married couples "living apart together," or LATs as they are known among mental health professionals.

Actress Helena Bonham Carter and director Tim Burton, actress Gwyneth Paltrow and producer Brad Falchuk, and photographer Annie Leibovitz and activist Susan Sontag are all high-profile couples who’ve embraced the LAT lifestyle.

“I think it certainly helps with preserving mystery and also preserving the idea that this person has their own life,” Paltrow said, according to the New York Post.

The lifestyle appears to have become more mainstream in America as the number of couples living apart rose by more than 25% between 2000 and 2019.

living apart together, lat couples, nontraditional relationships

A couple wrapping their furniture in bubble wrap.

Pexels

According to The New York Times, there were 3.89 million Americans who live apart from their spouses in 2022, just under 3% of all married couples. The statistics do not include couples intending to divorce but do include those who are forced to live separately due to military duties.

Couples Therapy, Inc. says that LAT couples enjoy the lifestyle because it allows for “independence without sacrificing emotional support,” more time for hobbies and interests, fewer conflicts, and prevents “exploitation along gender roles.”

The disadvantages that LAT couples experience include maintaining emotional connection, occasional loneliness and dealing with the expectations of adult and minor children.

Although there isn’t a wealth of research on LATs, Bella DePaulo Ph.D. writes in Psychology Today that people who prefer to live apart from their spouse are looking for “independence and privacy.” They also tend to be in their 40s and older and are less likely to need a live-in spouse to help with child-rearing duties.

Sharon Hyman told Today that living apart from her husband, David, puts their relationship in the proper context.

“Living separately allows me to have my needs met by others in addition to David, including friends and family. I feel that expecting one person to be your everything is setting yourself up for disappointment,” Hyman wrote. “It’s also unrealistic and puts tremendous pressure on a relationship. There are so many other people who enrich our lives. I’m a big believer in community. People in the past lived in villages or extended family groups, and I feel that a primary relationship should ideally exist within that framework.”

Sana Akhand, 33, told The New York Times that living apart from her husband helped relieve her from the burdens of being a woman in a traditional marriage. “Being a wife is subconsciously really draining, because you’re just thinking about this other person, their well-being,” Akhand said.

Married couples who live apart from one another all appear to have taken the time to consciously consider their relationships and position them based on their needs, instead of the demands of the culture at large. It makes a lot of sense. Just because a lifestyle works for someone else doesn’t mean it’s going to work for you or your partner.

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Business

Meet the people using their project management skills to better the world

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Many of us yearn for a career that not only provides a livelihood but also contributes to a better world. We seek a sense of purpose, a way to use our skills and talents to make a meaningful difference in the lives of others and the health of our communities. But who orchestrates the initiatives that allow us to give back effectively? Behind the scenes of many successful initiatives advancing the common good are project managers.

Project managers, who are often equipped with certifications from organizations like the Project Management Institute (PMI), bring order and efficiency for complex projects. But project managers go beyond ensuring projects are executed on time and on budget – they make sure the project meets a higher need. Does it positively impact the community? Does it create ease or improve the lives of others? Their work is essential to maximizing the impact of initiatives that better our world.

To showcase the vital role project managers play in creating positive change, we spoke with two rising leaders who are going above and beyond to make a difference in their communities as project managers.

Zack Almer

Every day, 17 people in the U.S. die waiting for an organ transplant, with demand far outpacing supply. In the New York Metro area, Zachary Almer, MPA, PMP, is tackling this challenge head-on. As the Director of Strategic Project Management at LiveOnNY, an organ procurement organization for the greater New York City area, he helped execute a bold strategy that increased organ and tissue donations by 50% over the past two years—resulting in over 2,500 life-saving transplants and setting a new benchmark for what’s possible in healthcare.

“I really enjoy when someone says we need to get something done and there’s no one way to do it. That’s why I love project management, because it allows me to step into a situation where there’s a problem and I need to fix it.” Zack added, “I think if you’re in healthcare, most people have selfless aspirations by the nature of signing up for this work. As long as I have the experience to share, I want to give back.”

Prosperidade Sunguete

As project manager for Angola’s Ana Elisa Philanthropic Association, Prosperidade Sunguete drives initiatives focused on sustainable development and community advancement, encompassing support for children, widows, environmental preservation, health, and education.

In 2023, Prosperidade set about closing the digital divide for children and young adults in Luanda’s Maiombe community after witnessing how little technology and food access the community had. The initiative, Technological Education for All, offers tech education and nutritious meals to over 150 young people from underprivileged backgrounds, granting the recipients greater digital literacy, food security and future learning and career opportunities.

“Every child deserves the opportunity to learn and thrive in an increasingly digital world. Empowering kids through tech education, while also guaranteeing them a daily hot meal, helps give them a leg up to be qualified for future educational and professional opportunities that would not have been available to them otherwise,” Prosperidade emphasized.

Prosperidade added, “project management is not just about meeting deadlines, but about creating lasting value and positive impact on the lives of the people involved as well.” The initiative, nominated for the 2023 Tigra Nova Garra Award, empowers youth and reflects Prosperidade's belief in the transformative power of education.

Project managers, equipped with on-the-job experience and resources from PMI, are the driving force behind social impact campaigns like Zack’s and Prosperidade’s, skillfully navigating challenges and ensuring successful completion. PMI empowers project professionals with skill-building resources like online courses and networking opportunities, validates their expertise with professional certifications, and celebrates their global impact as a global community.

Project Management Institute recognized Zack and Prosperidade for their impactful work alongside other rising trailblazing leaders who are driving global impact through innovative project management. Aspiring project managers seeking to make a difference can begin their journey with the Certified Associate in Project Management (CAPM) certification.

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Pop Culture

I convinced my Gen Z kids to watch 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions surprised me

Gen X and Gen Z apparently view "inspiring" very differently.

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

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Progressive
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Heroes

Progressive Insurance® donated 96 vehicles to veterans and their families as part of its ongoing commitment to driving progress on the road

Progressive has honored nearly 1,100 veterans since the inception of its Keys to Progress program in 2013.

Former medic and single mom Leah Moore and her children being honored during the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

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In 2023, Leah Moore was struggling. A single mom and former medic in the Texas Air National Guard, Leah had no family support where she lived in Seattle, WA, which made raising her two girls and working full-time a significant challenge. When her only car broke down, Leah found herself struggling more than ever.

But in 2024, Leah’s burden became a little lighter. Moore is now one of many veterans that have been honored during this year’s Keys to Progress event, an annual giveaway that took place in over 60 cities across the country. Along with Moore, close to 100 other veterans and their families recieved the keys to free, reliable transportation as a thank you for their military service.

Providing reliable transportation to deserving veterans who’ve protected our country

According to the US Department of Transportation, approximately 40 percent of veterans live in rural areas where affordable transportation options are limited. Limited transportation can greatly affect a veteran’s quality of life, since reliable transportation is necessary for work, medical care, and other services.

Gail Nicholson, a veteran who served in the United States Army during the Persian Gulf Crisis from 1993 - 1997, knows this challenge personally. Gail relied on public transportation as she supported her family since the COVID-19 pandemic when her mother fell extremely ill. As a senior citizen, traveling by bus, with schedules and lines that are not always accessible, it has not always been easy.

With veterans like Gail Nicholson in mind, Progressive founded the Keys to Progress event in 2013, hoping to alleviate some of these common struggles that veterans face every day. Now, Gail will be able to care for her family and travel freely without the need for public transit.

Veteran Gail Nicholson at the 2024 Keys to Progress event.

How the dream of independence becomes a reality

There’s no doubt that access to a car can make anyone’s life easier—but it also comes with additional expenses that require additional financial commitment. To help with this, multiple organizations have come together with Progressive to make Keys to Progress possible.

First, local charities and Veracity Research Co. Investigations (VRC), a veteran-owned and operated company, help to identify deserving veterans in each region. Once the recipients are chosen, Insurance Auto Auctions, Inc. (IAA) provides a Powertrain 12-month protection plan for all donated vehicles, while 1-800-Charity Cars donates resources to help with vehicle titling and registration. Enterprise, a rental car company, pays for the insurance for each donated vehicle for the first six months, and Progressive writes the insurance policies funded by Enterprise. Finally, the gently used vehicles are donated through Charity Cars.

The result is a well-deserved gift that enables each veteran to get back on the road and move ahead in life as easily as possible.

Supporting veterans on the road and beyond

Sometimes too, a veteran needs an assist in getting their small business off and running as well. Through Keys to Progress, Progressive has also donated three tractor trailers to worthy recipients.

Lt. Colonel Rose a 30-year U.S. Marine Corps veteran, was the 2022 recipient of a commercial through the Keys to Progress program. He shared, “Since being selected as the 2022 Keys to Progress recipient, the vehicle has exceeded all expectations of being an owner operator. Myself, including so many others, have been blessed by this magnificent machine. This blessing has catapulted my business forward, the donation of operating costs has played a significant part in minor repair costs along with being able to forgo a truck payment.”

Lt. Colonel Rose has been able to grow his trucking business to a second truck and he is working to purchase a third due to the revenue made from being a Keys to Progress recipient. He has also taken his earnings to donate to various charities and is inspired by showing his appreciation and patriotism for the United States.

But Keys to Progress is truly a passion project, and one that has impacted many deserving veterans. Collectively, Progressive has been able to donate vehicles to more than 1,100 military families, in addition to gifting three fully-loaded commercial trucks to veteran truck drivers and 28 commercial vehicles to select veteran organizations.

Cars at Progressive's annual Keys to Progress event.

“Our Keys to Progress initiative is a wonderful example of Progressive's purpose to help people move forward and live fully," said Tricia Griffith, President and Chief Executive Officer of Progressive. "We're proud to be celebrating our 12th year of supporting veterans and will present almost 100 well-deserving veterans and their families with keys to a vehicle that will provide them reliable transportation to get on the road and move forward in life."

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah or Gail, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress on the road and providing transportation for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

Whether it’s for veterans like Leah, Gail, or Lt. Colonel Rose, Keys to Progress is continuing to showcase its commitment to driving progress for veterans, military-related organizations, and veteran-owned small business owners across the country for years to come.

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Mom shows the heart-wrenching reality of kids being left out of class birthday party invites

"I'm sad for you cause that's not nice. That's not how we treat other people, right?"

Photo credit: Canva

Mom shows heartbreaking reality of preschool 'mean girls'

A heartbroken mom starts an important conversation about the impact of excluding children after her daughter reveals she was the only child not invited to a classmates birthday party. Nothing hurts a parent's heart like seeing your child cry after someone hurts their feelings. You know the day will come at some point but nothing ever quite prepares you for how you will handle it once it happens.

Young children don't understand why they're being left out of things or why someone would purposely hurt their feelings so it can hit them hard. Alyssa Miller came to the abrupt realization that her daughter was the odd girl out in class after she tearfully confesses she wasn't invited to a classmates birthday party. In the video shared to social media, Miller starts recording in the middle of the conversation while the two are sitting in the car after school pick up.

"How do you know you didn't get invited," the mom asks, to which her daughter replies through tears, "she told me." This revelation is clearly a little jarring for Miller but she tries to remain light and comforting for her child, explaining that it wasn't nice for the other child to say that. While Miller's daughter is only in Voluntary Pre Kindergarten (VPK), this type of exclusionary behavior isn't new for little kids.

Sad Married At First Sight GIF by LifetimeGiphy

"That's not how we treat other people right? And you're so beautiful and you're so kind, okay? This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them, okay? I love you. You're worthy of great, amazing friends, okay? Sometimes they just take a while to find," the mom says through tears while hugging her crying daughter.

This increase in bullying behaviors in girls as young as five years old has been being discussed for decades. In a study published in 2020 by the National Library of Medicine the authors explain, "Younger preschoolers also exhibit relatively simple and direct relational aggression, such as directly telling a peer they cannot play with them, whereas older preschoolers and school age children start to show more complicated relational aggression, such as playing nice upfront but disseminating malicious rumors behind the back."


@alyssa_miller01 I debated on whether or not to share this. But my girl is just so heart broke. Raising your child to think it’s acceptable to intentionally leave out another child and make them feel less than is something I will never be ok with. Teach your babies to be kind and welcoming to everyone. I thought I would have YEARS before something like this happened but sadly here we are in VPK. #kindness #teachkindness #bekind #bullies #bully #leftout #kidsoftiktok #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound - Lyss

Unfortunately, this type of exclusionary behavior is what Miller's daughter experienced at preschool. In the mom's caption she shares that she knew this day would come but she wasn't expecting it so soon.

"I debated on whether or not to share this. But my girl is just so heart broke. Raising your child to think it’s acceptable to intentionally leave out another child and make them feel less than is something I will never be ok with. Teach your babies to be kind and welcoming to everyone. I thought I would have YEARS before something like this happened but sadly here we are in VPK," she writes.

youtube love GIF by SoulPancakeGiphy

Miller's emotional response to her daughter's pain resonated with other parents who offered the duo support in the comments. Even pop star Meghan Trainor offered support writing in all caps, "ILL INVITE HER OMG TELL HER I LOVE HER," complete with four sobbing emojis.

"Her fixing your hair after you fixed hers, you’re modeling such kindness and love for her, she’s going to be such an emotionally intelligent and kind grownup," one person says.

"You told her all the right things mama how heartbreaking," another chimes in.


Sad Cry GIFGiphy

"This happened to my son, all the kids talked about it at pickup and my son hid behind me crying. Thankfully the teacher reached out to all the parents and said it's unacceptable and not right," someone else shares.

"Oh my gosh! My heart broke!! You’re such a good mama! I loved that you told her It has nothing to with her and everything to do with them!! Please let baby girl know that she is so so loved," a commenter offers.

There were plenty of invites from across the country from people offering to throw the girl her own party to authors wanting to send children's books. The support Miller received from her tearful moment with her daughter was palpable. Hopefully after this negative experience the little girl will have much happier days ahead with friends that will always want her to come to their birthday parties.


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Joy

He's Italian. She's American. Their delightful love story has won the hearts of millions.

Carlo and Sarah share the quirks of combining cultures.

Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

Carlo and Sarah share their cross-cultural relationship hilarities on TikTok.

When cultures come together, sometimes it can be challenging, sometimes it can be beautiful and sometimes it can be hilarious. For one couple, highlighting the hilarity of their American-Italian love story has endeared them to millions of people around the world.

It all started when Sarah, who is American, went to southern Italy to visit family members who live there. Carlo worked as a lifeguard at the beach club his family owns where Sarah's family would go. He barely spoke English, but he asked Sarah on a date in the summer of 2019. They basically became inseparable for the rest of the summer.

Sarah returned to the U.S. and Carlo surprised her with a month-long visit in the fall. Their long-distance relationship was supposed to get a reprieve when she was to return to Italy in May 2020, but pandemic travel restrictions destroyed that plan.

They ended up meeting up in Ireland during the summer of 2020, one of the only places allowing both Americans and Italians to travel. That's where Carlo proposed.

Their wedding plans also got thwarted by COVID-19. They got married in Italy, but without Sarah's family and friends able to attend. They had their second wedding, with family and friends in attendance in October 2022 in the U.S.

- YouTube

But their cute love story is only one part of why they've grown a following of 4 million people on TikTok alone. The cross-cultural nature of their relationship regularly creates hilarious moments, from Carlo's confusion over English words and phrases to Sarah committing Italian food faux pas just to see his reactions.

@carloandsarah

@justinbaldoni @wayfarerstudios this is my #lovestory 🤍 #LoveWithNoLimits #longdistance #ldr #couple

Their playful energy is delightful, but people also can't get over Carlo calling Sarah "my love" over and over again.

In one of their first mega-viral videos, which has nearly 100 million views, Sarah breaks the pasta in half before she puts it into the water—a totally typical American thing to do—and Carlo nearly has a heart attack.

@carloandsarah

did someone say... DRAMA??? 🤣

Or how about the time Sarah suggested that she ask for pineapple on her pizza while in Italy and Carlo basically said he'd be forced to move out of the country if she did that?

@carloandsarah

Carlo has had it with me🤣

Italians have far more superstitious beliefs about luck than Americans do, which come out frequently in Sarah and Carlo's videos. For instance, you're not supposed to put a loaf of bread top-side down. And if you get a new car, you're supposed to put a jar of salt in the car to ward off "malocchio" (evil eye/bad luck).

@carloandsarah

YOU WANT MALOCCHIO?!🌶😡

Carlo's English has come a long way since they met—he started learning the language because he was interested in Sarah—but as with anyone learning any language, there are sometimes some funny misunderstandings.

For instance, calling a tall building a "scratchy sky."

@carloandsarah

Gelato with a nice view of scratchy sky😩😂

Or mistaken a seed for a seaman or…something else.

@carloandsarah

the SEA MAN😩🐟

There's often some confusion around which words are appropriate and which words aren't, which is illustrated no more clearly than how Carlo reacted to saying the word "peacock."

@carloandsarah

THE WAY HE YELLED IT💀

Cultures may clash sometimes, but cross-cultural relationships can also create humorous moments that highlight the human side of all of us.

Sarah and Carlo even came up with a way to "fight" without having to understand one another's languages at all.

@carloandsarah

You should try it out💀

You can follow Sarah and Carlo on TikTok, YouTube and Instagram.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Joy

Lord Cold-emort? Clearopathra? Wichita takes punny snowplow naming to the next level

The city has 79 snow plows, each with its own name—and you can watch them move around the city on a real-time map.

Meteorologist Kevin Lighty/Facebook

Wichita's snow plow map shows which plows are out and where they are in the city.

If you live somewhere that doesn't get snow, you may lament it or you may thank your lucky stars. The fluffy white stuff isn't everyone's cup of tea, for sure, and even those of us who like snowy winters can get tired of it once we've revelled in the peaceful beauty of the first few fresh snowfalls.

Having a sense of humor about the weather is one way people handle the winter without devolving into a miserable mess, and nowhere is this coping mechanism clearer than in the naming of snow plows. Over the past several years, more and more jurisdictions have made a game out of naming their street-clearing fleets. But Wichita, Kansas, and its 79 uniquely named plows are making extra waves through the dad-joke-lover crowd.

The snow plow names draw from movies, music, literature, historical and pop culture figures and more. A few of the best? Lord Cold-emort. Darth Blader. Snowba Fett. Peppy La Plow. Blizzard of Oz. Betty Whiteout. The Big LePlowski. William Scrape-speare. The Fast and the Flurriest.

And that's only a handful of them.

Wichita is one of many cities to name plows, but there's an additional element to its snow plow practices that has people roped in. Not only did Wichita name every one of its plows, but you can track them live on the city's Public Works website.

For some reason, that ability is delighting people everywhere. As someone who has never been to Wichita, do I care what streets are being plowed there at any given moment? Not even a little bit. But do I care to see where Plowy McPlowface, F. Salt Fitzgerald and Lil Snow Peep are plugging along, doing their important work for the people who live there? Apparently and inexplicably, yes I do.

Anthropomorphizing snow plows by naming them may be an objectively silly thing to do, but bringing joy to people's dreary winter days is a valuable service. Judging by people's reactions, that's exactly what Wichita is doing:

"Love this! This would make a great 1000 piece puzzle!"

"Plowabunga for the win!! That's awesome!"

"Whoever their PR person is deserves a raise or two."

"This is great way to make a sometimes thankless job more fun. Be careful out there Snow Funnies."

"Awe, almost makes me want to move to a snowy region of the country! ....ALMOST!"

"I live in Wichita so this obviously popped up… we all absolutely love the plows!!!! The names make us all smile and laugh."

Many cities have begun holding snow plow naming contests each year, and the names often come from school children—a great way to get kids creatively engaged with the civil servants of their community and to appreciate the workers who keep things running smoothly.

Want to know what all 79 names are? Here's the list of snow plows from the Wichita Public Works & Utilities page (where you can also check out the real-time map to see who's out and about):

Aaron Brrrr
Auntie Arctica
Baby Snowda
Betty WhiteOut
Blizzard of Oz
Blizzard Wizard
Bohemian Rhapsnowd
Brine and Dandy
Catch My Drift
Chill Bill
Chilly Dog
Clearing Present Danger
Clearopathra
Ctrl Salt Delete
Darth Blader
Don't Flurry Be Happy
Edgar Allen Snow
Edward Blizzardhands
EisenPlower
Every day I'm Shovelin
F. Salt Fitzgerald
Frost Responder
Great and Plowerful Oz
Henry David Thor-Snow
Hipplowpotomus
Ice Breaker
I Came, I Thaw, I Conquered
I Can Street Clearly Now
I Snow You Can do It
Ice Force One
Ice fought the Thaw and the Thaw Won
Ice of Life
Ice to See You
Ice-Stein Theory of Relativity
Icy-T
It's Snow Problem
License to Chill
Lil Snow Peep
Lord Cold-emort
Mission Implowsible
Mr. Plow
Mr. Sandman
No Business Like Snow Business
No More Mr. Ice Guy
Not Snow Fast
Only Have Ice for You
Ope, Just Gonna Plow Right Past Ya
Peppy La Plow
Plow Bunyan
Plowabunga
Plowasaurus Rex
Plower Ranger
Plowthagorean Theorem
Plowy McPlowface
Point of Snow Return
Sand and Deliver
Saltimus Brine
Shock and Thaw
Slush Puppy
Snow and Tell
Snow Diggity
Snow Force 1
Snow More Mr. Ice Guy
Snow Place Like Home
Snowba Fett
Snowbi One Kenobi
Snowbody Like You
Snow Worries
Sweet Caro-brine
Squall Bunyan
Thaw Enforcement
Wichi-Thawesome
The Big LePlowski
The Fast and the Flurriest
The Scrape Gatsby
To Brine Ownself Be True
William Scrape-speare
Wolfgang Amadeus Snowzart
You're Killin Me Squalls

Which are your faves?

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Health

Perceptive guy has a lightening-strike realization about why boys aren't raised to be men

We're emphasizing the wrong things.

via Canva/Photos

A man can't seem to understand his emotions.

A TikToker named Divunsolicited is catching a lot of attention for a video where he explains a big way that society is hurting both men and women by the way we are raising boys. “A harsh reality is most men are not taught to be men when they're growing up as boys,” Divunsolicited says. “They're just taught how not to be women.” The realization came after he heard his aunt tell his cousin not to do something because “that’s what girls do.”

First, telling a boy not to do something because girls do it, regardless of the behavior, is both denigrating to women and teaching children inappropriate gender stereotypes. It also begs a fundamental question: If I’m not supposed to do girly things? What’s the appropriate thing to do as a boy, who will one day be a man?

“You always hear, don't cry, that's what girls do. Oh, you throw like a girl. Oh, girls are emotional,” Divunsolicited continued. “Only girls do that. Oh, you. You care about what you look like. That's what girls do. Or you wash your face and use face lotion and. And use moisturizer. That's what girls do.”

@adivunsolicited

most boys are raised how not to be girls but never really taught how to be men, there's so much discovery and figuring out how to manage your emotions, how to express yourself and how to become a good man #blacktiktok #parentsoftiktok #millennial #raisingboys #explorer #fypシ゚viral

He goes on to make the point that because there is such a stigma for boys who behave in a feminine way, it leaves them emotionally stunted as men because they aren’t allowed to show their emotions. “So what happens is, I think men become these repressed adults that become irrationally emotional until they act out,” Divunsolicited says. "And that's when you get fist fights, that's when you get men punching the wall. That's when you get men crashing out.”

Psychologists agree that when men can't express their emotions in a healthy way, they experience a "covert depression" that manifests as apathy, boredom, cynicism, and a limited range of emotions.

How to teach positive masculine traits

So, what are some positive, positive masculine characteristics that we should be teaching young boys? A group of researchers created a framework for teaching school-age boys positive masculine traits, and they came up with these 3 ways to “be”:

Being connected — To the self and others, forming interpersonal relationships based on respect, open communication, and non-violence.
Being motivated — Intrinsic motivation to engage with and contribute effectively to society beyond social pressures.
Being authentic — Comfort in enacting commitment to one’s values. Capacity to adopt flexibility around the emotional restriction and stoicism in help-seeking.

fathers and sons, positive masculinty, soccerA father and son watching a soccer match. via Canva/Photos

“From this mindset, we have courage, confidence, and the flexibility to hear others and even learn that we might be wrong,” Nick Norman, LICSW, writes for Psychology Today. “Our worth is no longer on trial, constantly measured against a suffocating definition of manhood. Instead, we are grounded within ourselves and can approach the world from a place of integrity and compassion, both for others and ourselves.”

Divunsolicited understands that many men were taught the wrong way to express their feelings as children. Still, he believes that things are headed in the right direction because millennials are raising a generation of men who have a healthier connection to their emotions. “And I think the more men are able to have and express themselves the more they're impart that until their children,” he concludes the video.

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