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'Marriage: A Story of Love in 28 Parts' has long-time couples rolling

'Marriage: A Story of Love in 28 Parts' has long-time couples rolling
Photo by Foto Pettine on Unsplash, Eric Spiegelman/Twitter, Dadman Walking/Twitter

As someone who's been married to the same human for 22 years, I can say with confidence that a big key to marital bliss is to come at it with a sense of humor. Living with and loving someone for life (hopefully) is a shared journey with ups and downs and unexpected detours. The story of that journey is filled with big life events and mundane daily details, and with moments both precious and perturbing.

If you've been married a while, this collection of funny tweets about marriage will hit home. Shared by Joshua Johnson on Facebook, this "Marriage: A Story of Love in 28 Parts" compilation includes universal sentiments, classic spouse conundrums, and pandemic-specific realities for people in long-term love

Here they are, linked to the original tweets so you can follow the creators if you wish, and written out in text for our friends with audio aids. Grab your partner and have a good chuckle at your own expense:


"DATING: can't wait to see you again

MARRIAGE: part of your knee was on my side of the bed again last night"

–@TheCatWhisprer

(BTW, you also pulled the covers off me every time you rolled over. Thanks for that. Love you.)

"Marrying someone is easy. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not." –@maryfairybobrry

(Have done this. Can attest it's a mistake.)

"My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, it's called "Why Are You Doing It That Way?" and there are no winners" –@ericspiegelman

(Pandemic togetherness is so fun, isn't it?)

"Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing because that's the soundtrack to the rest of your life." –@LizerReal

(This is legit advice, young people.)

"There are two kinds of people. The ones that pack six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. And they marry each other." –@dadmann_walking

(And the early packer spends six days panicked over the last-minute packer not being packed. Ain't love grand?)

"Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong" –@mom_tho

(Always from the bottom, rolling as you go. This is the way.)

"I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow?" –@3sunzzz

(Pssst. Don't tell him at all. He might not even notice.)

"Wife: You're doing it wrong.

Me: What?

Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*"

–@XplodingUnicorn

(Ouch.)

"My wife said she'd buy her own birthday cake this is a test right" –@DadBroDad1

(Yes. Yes it is.)

"Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I can't listen to your problems right now." –@thearibradford

(This is just psychopathic behavior, honestly.)

"In 34 years on this planet I've learned one very important lesson that I'm going to pass on to you fellas. She can eat your fries. You cannot eat her fries."–@CrockettForReal

(It's funny because it's true.)

"-commercial break-
Husband: *silent*
-fight scene-
Husband: *completely and utterly silent*
-quiet dialogue scene-
Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets"

–@Megatronic13

(SHUSSSHHHH.)

"Me:

My wife:

Me:

Wife:

Me:

Wife:

Me:

Wife:

Me: (stands up)

Wife: While you're up...."

–@simoncholland

(This one hits a little too close to home. I LIKE SITTING, OKAY?)

"My wife and I are both working from home.

She microwaved fish.

Time to alert HR."

- @Xploding Unicorn

(Or a divorce lawyer. Honestly, woman.)

"Me, giving my husband's eulogy: It's so hard

Husband, from coffin: ᵀʰᵃᵗ'ˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ."

–@mommajessiec

(Even when he's stiff. That's what she said.)

"I miss how my wife would say "he's a rescue" whenever I misbehaved at parties." –@SladeWentworth

(The pandemic has ruined everything.)

"This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize I'm not out of his league." –@RachelNoise

(Seriously. COVID ruins every darn thing.)

"MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves

Me: *watching my husband take off his socks and leave them in the middle of the living room*"

–@mom_ontherocks

(Ahem. Thanks for the advice, "mom.")

"I have a cold and it's pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently that's way worse." –@simoncholland

(I believe the Latin term for this is spousus patheticus.)

"[my husband has the man flu. After 3 days]:

M: will you please just take medicine??
H: *pouts* fine, what flavor is it??
M: what flav...it's ADULT FLAVORED!"

–@jaxwax04

(Case in point.)

"Welcome to marriage. Here's the new way you fold towels." –@HenpeckedHal

(And you're pretty much guaranteed to never do it quite right, so don't bother trying.)

"Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast." –@simoncholland

(Oh, but wait until you find out what you did to piss her off in her dream...)

"My husband: We were way over on groceries last month.
Me: How did THAT happen?
Him: Well we spent like $100 on ice cream sandwiches...
Me: ...
Him: ...babe, that's bad.
Me: I HATE THIS PLACE IT SUCKS HERE"

–@thearibradford

(Seriously. I'm a grownup, I do what I want.)

"My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential." –thedadvocate01

(It's okay. If you keep on taking out the garbage that she could take out herself, she'll probably keep you around.)

"Husband, "I'm going to the store, do you need anything?"

Me, "A bottle of champagne."

Husband, "Oh, I got you one yesterday.

"Me, "I said what I said.""

–@Parkerlawyer

(And I meant what I meant.)

"My wife asked me if she had any 'annoying' habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation." –@BattyMclain

(Hey now. Two can play at this game, buddy.)

"Husband: Does it bother you when I —

Me: Yes."

–@mommajessiec

(Ouch again.)

"Wife: Are you just going to walk around all day without a shirt on?

Me: Just giving you a show.

Wife: Can I change the channel?"

–XplodingUnicorn

(And they lived happily ever after.)

If I've learned anything in two decades of marriage, it's that there are few things a good belly laugh together can't fix. Here's to taking care of one another and finding the humor in marital bliss.

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Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Woman arranges dream wedding at hospital so her mom can walk her down the aisle

She and her fiancé planned the whole thing in just 2 weeks to make sure Mom could be there.

Canva Photos

A dream wedding is something many people fantasize about from the time they're young kids. Beyond the flowers and the dress and the table settings, we all like to envision it as a day of joy spent surrounded by the most important people in our lives; our parents being chief among them

An adult child's wedding day is an incredibly emotional milestone for any parent. In many ways it's the final stop on a long journey, in which you entrust someone else to become your child's primary caretaker. When you really stop and think about it that way, it's no wonder even the most stoic moms and dads cry like babies at their kids' weddings!

One woman is going viral for highlighting just how important it is to include Mom and Dad. She recently shared tear-jerking footage from her wedding, held at a hospital so both of her parents could be in attendance.


Giphy

Dominique Faludi got engaged to her fiance, Tom, and was exciting to dive into planning her dream wedding. But her mother's declining health made the usual wedding timeline a lot more complicated. The idea of potentially getting married without her mother there just wasn't acceptable for Faludi.

So she and her fiancé decided to do something drastic. Not only did they choose to have the wedding at the hospital where her mom was being treated, they dramatically sped up the process, throwing the entire thing together in just two weeks. Miraculously, the couple pulled it off, with stunning decor and a full audience of beloved family members in attendance — many of whom had never met! It was all a whirlwind, but it's hard to argue with the finished product.

Most important, Faludi's mother got to share an incredible moment with the bride-to-be in her hospital room, where Faludi did a surprise dress reveal. The moment was full of tears and smiles and all the love that you'd expect.

"Getting married at the hospital to have my parents walk my down the aisle was the best decision we’ve ever mad," Faludi wrote in the caption.

Watch the highlights from the special day here:

@dominiquelissa

Getting married at the hospital to have my parents walk my down the aisle was the best decision we’ve ever made🥹 cherishing these moments of joy right now.

People were incredibly moved by the footage, and by Faludi's dedication to remembering what a wedding is really all about.

Over five million people watched Faludi's clips from the wedding and surprise dress reveal. Commenters couldn't get enough:

"You and your husband are the absolute blueprint for what what marriage means and a shining light for what the day means to family. Thank you for sharing."

"As a mama. I am balling my eyes out watching this"

"I’m a wedding photographer— so many people get wrapped up in the decor and colors and so many fun things; but this is what it’s about"

"It never matters where you get married. But it always matters who’s there to share that moment."

Faludi's stunning wedding is an amazing reminder. With wedding costs ballooning completely out of control (the average wedding in the U.S. costs over $30,000), and venues and destinations and experiences becoming more and more extravagant with each passing decade, it's worth pausing to remember that the aesthetics aren't what's really important. What really matters is the people who show up. Your partner, of course, but trusted friends and closest family are just as vital. Some studies have indicated that as the cost of a wedding rises, so does the likelihood of divorce. It could be because the people who love each other the most and have a strong network of loved ones don't get nearly as caught up in the Instagrammable-ness of the wedding as some other couples might.

@dominiquelissa

Grwm & chat all things engagement and getting married in 4 days! Eeeep #engagementstory #wedding #grwm

"Whatever flowers I got, that's fine. The dress, I kind of knew what I wanted and it's perfect," Faludi said in another video. "I'm just trying to keep it all together and say yes to everything my mom wants because it is my day, but it also is her day because her whole life she's been waiting to walk me down the aisle."

Mission accomplished!

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Artist gives 6 of Disney's most beloved characters a modern twist  to explain today's world

"I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes."

via Tom Ward / Instagram

Classic Disney characters reimagined for modern times

Artist Tom Ward has used his incredible illustration techniques to give us some new perspective on modern life through popular Disney characters. "Disney characters are so iconic that I thought transporting them to our modern world could help us see it through new eyes," he told The Metro.

Tom says he wanted to bring to life "the times we live in and communicate topical issues in a relatable way."

In Ward's "Alt Disney" series, Prince Charming and Pinocchio have fallen victim to smart phone addiction. Ariel is living in a polluted ocean, and Simba and Baloo have been abused by humans.

Not all the news is bad though. LeFou form "Beauty and the Beast" has finally come out of the closet and his crush, Gaston, appears to be pretty accepting of the revelation.

Although, was it really such a shock?

Ward believes that his illustration of Artur from "Sword and the Stone makes" a particularly strong point. "I also think the message of Arthur from The Sword in the Stone sitting on his phone has some resonance today," he said. "He's too engrossed in his phone to experience other opportunities and realize his true potential in life."

You can see more of Ward's work on Instagram.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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Nearly 60 years later, Twiggy confronts ‘humiliating’ interview with Woody Allen

"I remember looking at him, pleading with my eyes for him to stop."

WikiMedia Commons

The model reflects, nearly six decades later

In 1967, the world was Twiggy’s oyster. The English model, whose look and style had become emblems of the Swinging Sixties—think big eyes, a pixie cut, lots of mascara, and androgynous looks—had evolved from a promising teen icon into an international superstar. Her power was undeniable, her zeal for life, irreplaceable. Yet, when director Woody Allen met the young star in 1967, he didn’t greet her with kindness.

Instead, the 31-year-old director (at the time) sought to embarrass her. He wanted to ridicule her; to make Twiggy feel small. In front of a live studio audience, he asked her: “What are your views on serious matters?” At the time, the 17-year-old Twiggy was on her first visit to the United States. Her face crumbles; her lips twist up and eyes look nervous. “Like what?” she replies, frowning.


model, looking distressed “Like what?” YouTube


“Like, who’s your favorite philosopher?” he replies, his voice dripping with condescension.

Her eyes light up in surprise. She laughs, charmingly, in what could almost pass for as delight, before admitting, “I haven’t got one. I don’t know any.” She sticks her tongue out, before adding: “Who’s yours?”

Everything stays still for a second, before it flips. Allen, now the surprised one, sort of fumbles around, and retorts, “Oh, I don’t know. I like them all,” sheepishly. At this point in the interview, Twiggy realizes what’s going on and zeroes in with the accuracy and confidence of a hawk circling its prey. Before he can finish speaking, she asks, “Who?”


model being interviewed "Who?" is shot like a bullet. YouTube


Meekly, Allen says “You know, all your basic philosophers…”

This time, Twiggy is ready, almost eager for his reply. “Who?” she shoots back like a bullet.

“I don’t know, I just,” begins Allen, before Twiggy says back, “But I don’t know their names. What are their names?”

The uncomfortable clip ends, with Allen looking dumbfounded at the camera, with Twiggy in the background, coquettish as ever, sticking her tongue out. Like many others, when I saw this interview for the first time, I thought ‘Wow, what a badass Twiggy is.” Women face this type of misogyny all the time: timid, cowardly men who are insecure about their intelligence, taunting them about what they know or do not know in order to feel better about themselves. It’s horrible, to get caught in such a trap. Which makes Twiggy’s gracefulness—the deftness in maneuvering through such an encounter—all the more impressive and delightful.


model sticking tongue outTwiggy is a delightYouTube


On YouTube, where the clip was reshared by Igor Aleshin, the comments are filled with admirers of the British fashion star. “Her retort was perfect, cheeky, funny, and totally deflected him. Well done, Twiggs,” writes @dianesilva1078. From @mariachalke7905: “How perfectly she deflected his arrogance, but with good humor. He was already showing his colors.” Then, from @TessaBlackwell-re8jx: “I love how the light dawns in her eyes, like, ‘Oh, you want to play like THAT. And then, it’s all on.”


Twiggy reflects, nearly 60 years later

In a more recent clip that resurfaced last week, a now 75-year-old Twiggy remembers that fateful day. While doing press for director Sadie Frost’s 2024 documentary about her, Twiggy reveals that everything wasn’t effortless and cheeky for her that day. “He was trying to make me look stupid,” she told reporters. “My heart sank. I remember looking at him, pleading with my eyes for him to stop. If I was the age he was there, in my 30s, I would have never behaved like that towards someone who was only 17.”

During an appearance on “The One Show,” Twiggy also reflected on her on-camera encounter with the director, calling it “horrible” and that she felt “humiliated.” And despite her confident, brazen outward appearance, she admitted to feeling small on the inside. “I was in panic,” she explains. “I just didn’t want to cry.”


Lessons to be learned

Although it’s terrible, the way Woody Allen behaved towards Twiggy—publicly trying to shame a teenager—it’s nice to know that feeling scared and insignificant can really look like this: confident, badass, and undeniably cool. There are so many moment that we stop ourselves, from speaking up, from doing the right thing, from asking to be treated with respect, because we’re afraid. But Twiggy as powerfully demonstrates, both in 1967 and now, that rebellion and change can feel scary. And that’s OK. Check out the entire clip, below.


@dailymailshowbiz

Twiggy spoke out on her uncomfortable encounter with director Woody Allen at her premiere last night to DailyMail. In the 1967 interview, Allen attempted to humiliate her by asking who her favourite philosopher was in front of a studio audience, on her first trip to the US. 🎥 DailyMail

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Why you should stop saying "I think" if you want to sound confident while speaking

We all do it, but it might be watering down what we're really trying to say.

Photo credit: Canva

Here's what recommended instead.

Clear, effective communication is just as much about what you don’t say as it is about what you do say. It’s incredibly easy for a message to get watered down with filler words and passive phrases, many of which we use on a daily basis.

Case and point: “I think” statements. Sure, this seems like a harmless option. Logical even. After all, it’s honest. Certain factors have led you to think this or that is the right choice, and thus, you are saying so. But as CNBC Make It contributor Lorraine K. Lee explains, overuse of these two well-intentioned words can “diminish your presence and undermine your confidence.”

In fact, Lee lumps “I think” in with “just,” “sorry” and “maybe,” which are more well-known examples of minimizing language, aka passive qualifiers that lessen the meaning of what you're trying to communicate, rather than enhance it. She notes that however "polite" these phrases seem, etiquette comes at the cost of credibility.

media4.giphy.com

Specifically, “I think” can make an opinion, however well informed, come across as nothing more than a passing thought, and therefore not taken seriously. Or it can make the speaker seem “hesitant” of their own perspective.

So instead, Lee recommends swapping “think” for “I recommend,” which conveys the same meaning but is more “action-oriented” and “decisive.” An example she uses is saying “I recommend trying this restaurant,” rather than “I think you should try this restaurant.“

Lee advises that this swap be used in times when you aren’t all that confident as well, with some added caveats for transparency. Using “from my experience, I’d recommend…” for example. It’s easy to see how you can be upfront about uncertainties, while still clearly communicating your stance.

Things get further conflated when you think about how many people use “I feel statements” when they mean to use “I think statements.” “I feel like this restaurant is better than the other one.” “I feel that you should go with this plan.” “I feel like this isn’t the most productive use of our time.” This is not only grammatically inaccurate, as these are opinions one thinks, not feels, but it also pacifies an already weakened version of what you’re trying to say in the first place.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

So, how do we really develop this better speaking habit? Lee recommends (see what we did there?) first listening for when and where those “I think” statements tend to pop up. You can even ask for the folks around you to help keep you accountable. She also suggests allowing for a pause before speaking, which gives you time to make the mental swap before saying anything out loud. And since most of us type exponentially more than we speak, be sure to make those swaps in written communications as well.

Photo credit: Canva

Bottom line; it’s easy for us to go on autopilot with our language. That, plus a desire to not come across as pushy or domineering, can cause us to not really say what we mean. But if we want to be understood, we need to be intentional with what we say, or don’t say.

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