upworthy
Democracy

Powerful PSA uses reverse psychology to drum up support for assault weapons bill

In 90 seconds, it totally nails the absurdity of how we live.

gun violence assault weapons march fourth
March Fourth/YouTube

A March Fourth PSA shows how our daily lives are impacted by mass shootings.

Those of us who live in the United States have a strange relationship with gun violence, no matter where we fall on the beliefs-about-guns spectrum. We have to. Our mass shootings statistics are too bizarre, too absurd to be real, and yet here we are, constantly living in a combined state of denial, disbelief, disillusionment and despair.

We don't have to live like this, and yet we do. Thanks to a well-funded gun lobby, our incredibly unhealthy ultra-partisan politics and debatable interpretations of the Second Amendment, most meaningful pieces of legislation put forth to curb our gun violence problem don't get passed. Everything but the guns gets blamed for our mass shooting problem, so we keep reliving the same nightmare over and over and over again.

A group of moms lived that nightmare on the Fourth of July, when a gunman opened fire on a parade in Highland Park, Illinois, killing seven and wounding 48. They immediately banded together with a singular purpose—to convince the government to ban assault weapons, which are increasingly becoming the weapon of choice in mass shootings.

They formed March Fourth two days after the parade shooting and organized a march in Washington, D.C., less than a week later. "I just want to go to DC, scream at the top of our lungs that we want these weapons of war banned, and not shut up until they listen," said founder Kitty Brandtner.

Her quote to WGN9 News was even more succinct: "They f**ked with the wrong moms."

Now March Fourth is holding another march at the Capitol on September 22 and they're inviting anyone and everyone to join them. In a powerful PSA promoting the march, Americans describe what they "love" and "enjoy" about living with mass shootings—a bit of reverse psychology that makes the absurdity of our reality painfully clear.

The truth is no one wants to live this way. And we don't have to. We can choose to take action to at least attempt to prevent mass gun violence. The assault weapons ban that was in place from 1994 to 2004 had an impact. One analysis shared in The Conversation estimated that the risk of a person in the U.S. dying in a mass shooting was 70% lower during the ban.

Before someone swoops in with the "How do you define assault weapon?" argument, the current Assault Weapons Ban of 2021 bill that has passed the House and sits before the Senate offers a lengthy definition of the kinds of firearms it includes right up top. Read it here.

See more information about joining March Fourth's September 22 march at the U.S. Capitol at wemarchfourth.org.

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Teachers

Florida teacher fired for giving zeros to students who didn't turn in assignments

The lowest grade that teachers are allowed to give students is a 50.

Diane Tirado/Facebook

Left: Teacher Diane Tirado. Right: The note she left for students after being fired.

If you're of the mind that kids today are being coddled and not properly prepared for the real world, well, you might want to buckle up for this one. The story out of a public school in Florida has parents and teachers alike up in arms.

A Florida teacher was fired for giving her students zeros for missing assignments. Diane Tirado has been a teacher for years. Most recently, she was an eighth-grade history teacher at Westgate K-8 School in Port St. Lucie, Florida. Diane recently gave her students two weeks to complete an Explorer notebook project, but several students simply didn't hand it in. Since there was zero work done, Diane gave them zeros.

She got fired for it.

schools, teachers, education, grades, students, parentsMichael Scott from The Office saying "What?"Giphy

The elementary school has a rule called the “no zero policy."

The lowest possible grade that teachers can give students is a 50, even if they don't turn anything in. That means that an extremely poor completed assignment is worth the same number of points as no assignment at all.

Hardly seems fair, right? Westgate is far from the only school that has such a policy, however.

whiteboard, education, classroom, teacher, middle school, 8th grade A message written on the whiteboard for her students after Diane Tirado was firedDiane Tirado/Facebook

It's a rule that Diane, unsurprisingly, does not agree with. After she was fired for disobeying, she left her students a charming goodbye message on the whiteboard.

"Bye kids. Mrs. Tirado loves you and wishes you the best in life. I have been fired for refusing to give you a 50 percent for not handing anything in. Love, Mrs. Tirado"

The scale, as outlined by the school, reads as follows:

A = 90 to 100
B = 80 to 89
C = 70-79
D = 60-69
F = 50-59

Diane later shared the story on Facebook, hoping to spread awareness about the school's policy.

“A grade in Mrs. Tirado's class is earned," she said.

“I'm so upset because we have a nation of kids that are expecting to get paid and live their life just for showing up and it's not real."

Diane's post has gone viral, and most commenters agree with her position – it's not fair to hand out grades for work that doesn't exist.

No zero policies are common in many schools, and teachers notoriouslyhate them. But it's at least worth considering why they exist. Some educators say it's because when a student earns a zero, it's very difficult for them to ever recover their grade in that class. In other words, it may be too harsh. Others argue that, if you don't want a zero, don't turn in nothing! Getting an earned-zero is a great way to learn to at least try.

A follow up statement from the school stated: "Ms. Tirado was released from her duties as an instructor because her performance was deemed sub-standard and her interactions with students, staff, and parents lacked professionalism and created a toxic culture on the school’s campus. ... During her brief time of employment at West Gate, the school fielded numerous student and parent complaints as well as concerns from colleagues. Based on new information shared with school administrators, an investigation of possible physical abuse is underway."

However, school representatives did not deny the existence of the no zero policy, and Tirado claims the school engaged in a smear campaign after she became a "whistleblower" on their policies. She's currently considering legal action against the district.

Still, the debate over the grading policy rages on.

“The reason I took on this fight was because it was ridiculous. Teaching should not be this hard," Diane said.

This article originally appeared 6 years ago.

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Family

Mom captures young daughters making up after a fight, and the emotional intelligence is incredible

"When you realize that parenting is so worth it."

via Canva/Photos

Two young girls hugging each other.

Emotional intelligence is one of the most powerful skills a parent can instill in their child. It gives them a strong foundation for understanding themselves and others, which will work wonders in their family relationships, friendships, and careers. These days, it’s one of the most sought-after skills in the workplace.

Simply put, people with high emotional intelligence can recognize and control their own emotions and comprehend the feelings of others. Emotional intelligence skills involve self-awareness, self-control, social awareness, and interpersonal relationships. Lauren Reed, a mother of two young girls, shared a video recently on TikTok that shows she and her husband have done an incredible job at teaching their children how to be aware of their emotions and those of others. It all started when Maise refused Clementine’s help, leading Maise to yell.

“Backstory- Maisie was putting away her blocks and was feeling proud of herself for doing it on her own, and Clementine came to help her, but Maisie wanted to do it on her own,” Reed wrote on TikTok. ”So Maisie loudly told her she didn’t want her to do that, and then both girls got sad. BUT then they talked it through on their own. These two are the absolute sweetest.”

@itslaurenreed

You guys… I know this is a little long, but the way they talked this through 🥹🥹 Backstory- Maisie was putting away her blocks and was feeling proud of herself for doing it on her own, and Clementine came to help her, but Maisie wanted to do it on her own. So Maisie loudly told her she didn’t want her to do that and then both girls got sad. BUT then they talked it through on their own 🥹🥹 These two are the absolute sweetest #sweetmoments #gentleparenting #sweetkids #girlmom #sosweet #myheart

Here’s a transcript of the super cute display of emotional intelligence.

Clementine: It's fine, you don't have to change your mind and make me help you. It's just you also really have to like—you also have to use kind tone if you don't want me to.

Maisie: Okay, how do I do that?

Clementine: Well, like, if you get frustrated and you feel like you need to use like a loud voice but you feel like you but you feel like you have to—I'll tell you how to do it. Take a breath and then say, 'I don't need help,' in a calm voice. Okay?

Maisie: Okay.

Clementine: I didn't know that you didn't need help. I'm sorry.

Maisie: It's okay.

Then, the two hugged it out.


The post received a ton of comments from people who thought the kids have great parents. “These two have more emotional intelligence than most men in their 30s combined,” one commenter joked. “Child therapist here. I just have to say, wow! Excellent work, mama! I know it won’t be like this every time, but the fact that they have this love and respect shows it all!” a therapist added.

Others thought that the girls showed some incredible conflict-resolution skills. “‘How do I do that?’ is such a powerful and valid question. She answered perfectly,” one wrote. “The oldest also acknowledging, apologizing, and validating feelings while teaching her little sister,” added another.


The children’s emotional intelligence can be seen as a prime example of gentle parenting, a style that values empathy, respect, and boundaries over punishment. It also places a lot of importance on emotional regulation. “By the end of the day, we’re definitely tired and feel like we’ve done a lot of parenting,” Reed said, according to USA Today. “[But] You see moments like this, and you’re like, ‘it is working.’ They’re kind and emotionally intelligent young people, and it makes it all worth it.”

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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Internet

Doctor reveals major life regret of patients on their deathbed. It’s often overlooked.

“Take the picture.”

Photo credit: Canva

Doctor reveals patients' often overlooked deathbed regret.

Thinking about death is kind of a bummer. Nobody excitedly tells a friend that they're dying or throws a will-writing party, though come to think of it, what a great way to organize your final wishes while blasting early 2000s club music and sipping on sangrias. Note to self: Plan will-writing brunch.

But seriously, thinking about death is uncomfortable and a little scary, so it's understandable that it's not on everyone's "things to do today" list. Sadly, it's part of life and, unsurprisingly, many people die with regrets. The regrets can range from not making the move to Colorado at 25 to turning down the sweet kid from math class that asked you to prom. Hospice and palliative care doctor Kathy Zhang cares for people at the end of their lives on a daily basis and she reveals the biggest regret that haunts patients on their deathbeds.

According to Dr. Zhang, this regret isn't just felt by the dying patient, but also those close to them. She writes in her caption, "I didn’t think I would hear this end of life regret as often as I do: people wish they had taken more photos of themselves. People realize at the end of life that photos are snapshots of memories frozen in time, and that each one carries stories and emotions."

end of life, deathbed, regrets, thoughts, lifeSick Season 11 GIF by One ChicagoGiphy

As technology developed into people owning a supercomputer that fits in their pockets and the palms of their hands, society's views around picture taking has also shifted. On one hand you have people insisting that people simply "enjoy the moment" when they're out with loved ones and stop photographing or recording everything. On the other, you get the instantaneous nature of photographs now.

When the only way to take photos was on film, you had to wait for the photos to be developed and hope that one of them looked kind of okay. Now that photos are instantly visible, people can see themselves essentially in real time so there's plenty opportunities to scrutinize every possible angle of one's face. These photos are also usually promptly uploaded to social media, which isn't known for it's benevolently kind nature. Gone are the days when someone would have to physically come to your home to rummage through photo albums and bins to see you in a bathing suit on your family vacation to the beach.

beach, photos, photo opps, real time, real life, Beach Day Summer GIFGiphy

But the things that are lost along with the slow process of developing film are the memories captured with the people no longer walking the earth. Upworthy shared a photo of a woman who asked to be photoshopped to cover her arms and change the color of her shirt due to her own critiques of her body. Dr. Zhang read some of the comments highlighted by Upworthy from the post, and paused one that stood out to her the most.

"I have barely any pictures of me, for this exact reason. At 41, diagnosed with terminal cancer. Now I'm taking all the pictures, but the girls will really only have pictures of their dying mom, not their healthy one. I have few regrets but, not taking or sharing pictures because I was unhappy with my looks, is absolutely one," the mom writes.

The regret around not having enough photos isn't one that stays only with the dying person. It's a regret that ripples out onto your loved ones who would give everything they could to have more pictures of the person they're now missing.

Dr. Zhang then relays a story of a former patient, saying, "I had a patient once who was in her forties dying and her husband was showing me pictures. The[re] were a few pictures that he had of her a year prior on their vacation in the Caribbean. And she was on a catamaran and her hair was flying everywhere and she was gorgeous. She was stunning. And he said, 'I always thought she was so beautiful and she never wanted to take pictures. What am I supposed to look at now that she's gone?' So please, take the pictures. The people who truly love you just want more of you, no matter what you look like."

The sentiment Dr. Zhang expresses in the video is felt by those in the comments with one person writing, "I felt this. I hate my body and taking pictures. But when my dad died, I had no recent pictures of the two of us. Now, whenever someone asks for a picture of me or with me, I do it. If they love me as is, I can too."

Another says, "Thank you for this. My wonderful Mom died of Alzheimer’s in 2013. I post tributes to her on her birthday, Mother’s Day & the anniversary of her passing each year. I include pictures of her especially so her grandkids who were babies when she was sick can get to see what a vibrant, joyful person she was. But… I have only a precious few pictures of her save for a few formal group shots. Because of this I now make a point to be in photos."

One grieving daughter writes, "My Mom was beautiful. Dad took a portrait photography class & needed to take pictures. She hated having her picture taken, but let him. About 3 years after that - at 44 she died. I've always been grateful for those pictures. I always offer to let the photographer get in the picture & take pictures of them with their family & friends."

loss, family, mourning, photos, memory, loved onesmourning GIFGiphy

Someone else chimes in with gratitude, saying, "Thank you. I have never been a picture person, even as a child. I will do better. The pictures are not for.me but for my children and their children. Thank you."

It may be uncomfortable at first to jump into taking more pictures, but the more you do it, the easier it will become. With selfie sticks, affordable tripods, and built-in photo timers, people can easily set up photos of themselves. So, if you're worried about being on the other end of the camera, remember Dr. Zhang's advice–take the pictures.

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Parenting

Man reveals 'hack' to raising good men: give them the same values and rules as your daughters

Turning boys into upstanding men really could be this simple.

Photo credit: Canva

Man makes argument to raise sons and daughters the same.

It's a universal consensus that raising kids is difficult no matter what corner of the globe you reside. It's partly difficult because they literally just got here and are learning how to human as they go, and partly because the reality is that you're raising these children to become adults. Preferably good, kind, ethical, functional adults. So, even if you have the easiest child in the world, there's still a lot of pressure to do a good job.

When you factor in a child's gender, parenting can get even trickier given society's influence on gender roles, "norms," and expectations. These things can unintentionally influence how parents interact with their children, and one man is calling out the hypocrisy by sharing how to raise boys to be good men. Mark, who goes by @Scarefacemark on social media, revealed his controversial opinion on how parents should raise their boys.

Often boys are permitted much more leeway while growing up than their girl counterparts. They tend to have fewer rules, or the rules are less strictly enforced. Girls are also given much more responsibility and an earlier age. For example, a boy may only be expected to clean his room and take out the trash while a girl may be expected to clean her room, clean the kitchen, help cook meals, clean the shared bathroom, etc.

parents, father and son, dad, boys, childhoodYou might say boys get to feel like kids for longer. Giphy

Mark makes the argument that if parents start raising their sons like they raise their daughters it would result in their sons growing up to be good men.

"I have an opinion that y'all might disagree with," Mark starts. "I feel like people need to raise their sons the same way they raise their daughters. I'm not talking about the sassy way. I'm talking about with the stuff y'all let them do. With the curfews right, a boy might have a later curfew than the girl or you might let your son bring a girlfriend over but you won't let your daughter bring her boyfriend over. You might tell your son to wear a condom but you tell your daughter don't sleep around at all when all in all you shouldn't tell your son to be sleeping [around] as well."

Mark says that this is something he notices more with fathers. While he does praise the way fathers raise their children, he shares that this is an area where there should be a change. He further explains, saying, "It's basically like you're telling your son that he can be an undisciplined kind of dude, meanwhile your daughter has to be the only disciplined one." He ends by hypothesizing that this the reason there are so many hypersexual young men out there.

@scarfacemark♬ original sound - Scarfacemark

This message resonated with a lot of people. One woman, who goes by @Frankieaab stitched Mark's video to add her own thoughts on the issues raising boys differently than girls can lead to as they become adults. One thing she dives deeper into is her observation of the results of teaching girls to be chaste while encouraging (or excusing) boys' promiscuity and how it would change if they were raised like girls.

@frankieaab

Let’s stop with boys with the boys @Scarfacemark #greenscreenvideo #doublestandards #raisinglittleboys

"No one teaches little boys to have respect for their bodies and that's why so many men and young boys don't realize a lot of them have also been sexually assaulted," Frankie says before expanding on having heard men cheer on teen boys for much older women attracted to them. "So, if we gives the same rules and regulations to little boys and teach little boys that their bodies are also sacred, that their bodies should also be treated as a temple, so now you won't have little boys pressuring little girls into doing things that you told those little girls that they should not be doing."

hug, parent, boys and girls, boy, girls, raising kidsseason 1 hug GIF by NBCGiphy

Other people also agree with Mark's theory in the comments, with one person sharing, "People say it’s harder to raise girls, but that’s only because they’re actually raising them."

Another writes, "People let their son turn into the EXACT man they wouldn’t want their daughter to be with."

Someone else chimes in, "Giving sons more freedom than daughters is gone make them harbor resentment and go crazy when they get that freedom in retaliation to their fathers."

child, parent, play, dad, boys, girls, raising kidsFail Fathers Day GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphy

"That parenting always will create rebellious daughters due to seeing how the sons can live a care free life," one person points out.

Many women in Mark's comment section point out that moms are just as guilty as dads for having different rules depending on the gender of their child. If children were raised with the same rules and expectations regardless of gender, would that impact societies expectations of women and men? Would it impact the equity in division of household labor for married couples or the expected mental load of moms? It's certainly something to consider, and based off of the comments and video responses, it's something that has been on the minds of parents currently raising children for some time now.

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