Many folks with HIV stay silent about their status. The reaction to Charlie Sheen’s story shows why.

Many people say the hardest part of living with HIV is the stigma. Here’s some easy ways to treat HIV-positive people with compassion.

This morning, actor Charlie Sheen made a huge announcement: He’s HIV-positive.

Photo by MIchael Buckner/Getty Images.


The move comes after the Internet exploded yesterday with speculation about the actor’s status after the National Enquirer promised a “bombshell world exclusive” about the actor’s private life.

All totally valid criticisms of Sheen aside, no one deserves to have their personal information shared without their permission. Sheen probably wouldn’t even have shared his status without the threat of extortion hanging over his head, because there is still so much stigma and so many misconceptions surrounding an HIV diagnosis. But now that he’s come forward, it’s significant that he was able to share his story in his words before anyone else could.

Individuals with HIV should be able to live without shame and with the freedom to be open about their lived experiences.

Reactions to Sheen’s announcement show we still have a long way to go to overcome stigma about the virus.

Sheen shares that he was diagnosed about four years ago. Why did he keep it secret for so long? Uh, the cover of this magazine might give a hint.

Photo via National Enquirer.

Treating someone’s HIV status — a private medical condition that is likely irrelevant to everyone who’ll read it — as a sensationalist gossip topic isn’t just gross, it’s wrong. Not to mention: HIV and AIDS aren’t interchangeable diseases — to proclaim, on the cover of a magazine no less, that Charlie Sheen not wanting to disclose his HIV diagnosis is an “AIDS COVER-UP” wildly misrepresents what an HIV diagnosis means in 2015. Media reactions like this are why he and millions of other Americans are hesitant to disclose their HIV status.

Misconceptions and stigma about HIV play a large factor in why many with the diagnosis stay silent, often forever.

“We’re finding, despite the fact that we’ve been living with this disease for 30 years, that the greatest challenge we’re facing is stigma,” David Furnish, chairman of the Elton John AIDS Foundation, said in an interview with The Advocate. “[That’s] the biggest hurdle we have to overcome.”

Stigma against HIV-positive people is a large reason why discrimination is so rampant. Loss of housing, employment, and close relationships is common for people with HIV or AIDS in ways that many folks with other life-threatening conditions don’t face.

Retired NBA player Magic Johnson publicly disclosed his HIV-positive status in 1991. Since then, he’s become an outspoken advocate for safer sex and HIV/AIDS prevention. Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.

Here’s what you need to know about HIV:

Stigma is a tricky thing that many people don’t realize influences how they treat someone — because it can seem so normal. Remembering these facts will help you destigmatize HIV and AIDS when you find yourself in conversations about it in the real world.

1. HIV and AIDS are not interchangeable.

HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus, which is a tiny organism in the body.

AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) refers to the condition one can get after HIV completely compromises their immune system.

An individual can have HIV for many years and never get AIDS. Only a doctor can make the call whether someone has AIDS. Thanks to progress in medical care, people in the U.S. who take antiviral treatments often never get AIDS.

2. The risks of contracting HIV through everyday contact like handholding or sharing a swimming pool is minimal.

HIV is not spread through the air, casual touch, tears, sweat, or saliva. So it’s OK to use the same bathroom, eating utensils, and water fountain. In the U.S., the most common way people are infected is through penetrative sex, which is why it’s important to use condoms.

But it’s not just through sexual activity. There are reasons to be extra cautious if, say, you have a cut on your hand and you help your friend with HIV bandage a cut on her hand. HIV is transmitted through certain body fluids, like blood, coming into contact with the bloodstream, damaged tissue, or a mucous membrane like the mouth.

3. HIV is not a punishment.

No one deserves to get HIV. It is not a condemnation from God or some sort of punishment for certain acts that others may not approve of. When you read your magazines in the checkout aisle of the grocery store, don’t buy into all the correlations between Charlie Sheen’s history of being a “womanizer” or his relationships with sex workers meant to imply that his HIV infection is a punishment for that. It only takes one bad needle, one broken condom, or one partner to transmit the disease.

If you cite Sheen’s wild past and say he got what he deserved, that assumption reflects on all people who have HIV, no matter how careful they were in their lives. It reinforces the myth that HIV-positive people are being punished for bad decisions, a stigma that they face every day.

4. People of all genders and sexual orientations can get HIV.

For a long time, HIV was seen as something only gay and bisexual men should worry about. But according to the CDC, 23% of people with HIV are women. Of women who were newly infected, 84% were from heterosexual contact.

While most folks get HIV from sexual contact, remember that there are other ways people get infected, like being born with it or through a blood transfusion. In general, it’s just best not to assume how they got HIV. It’s irrelevant at this point anyway, right?

5. You can’t tell whether someone is HIV-positive by how they look.

Just because someone doesn’t “look sick” doesn’t mean they’re HIV-negative. Many HIV-positive people can be symptom-free for years before discovering they are infected. That’s why it’s so important to get tested regularly. You’ll be able to get early medical intervention and prevent inadvertently infecting someone.

Actor Danny Pintauro, best known for his role as Jonathan Bower on the TV show “Who’s the Boss” as a child, came out as HIV-positive this year. Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images.

Here’s how to handle conversations about HIV and AIDS in real life to stop stigma in its tracks:

Be mindful of your language when talking about HIV. A lot of common terms can reinforce stigma. For example, the term “clean” when referring to negative HIV status implies that someone who is HIV-positive is dirty.

Treat a person respectfully when they disclose their status. Be compassionate in your response and make sure to respect their privacy. Their disclosure is not consent to being an open book about sexual history, medical treatment, or how they contracted the virus. And just because they disclose their status to you doesn’t mean they’re giving you permission to reveal it to everyone else, too.

Do not speculate on or disclose someone’s HIV status without permission. Basically, don’t do what the Enquirer did with Charlie Sheen.

Get tested. Knowledge is power. Visit this link to find a place near you. A lot of places offer free testing, which can be completed in a few minutes!

Olympic gold medalist Greg Louganis tested positive for HIV in 1988. He is an advocate for LGBT and people diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for The Point Foundation.

Educating yourself about HIV just doesn’t make you more knowledgeable, it makes you a real force in reducing HIV stigma.

HIV stigma is very real — and it has dangerous consequences. It keeps people from getting treatment and but also getting the care and support from others that they (all of us?) need. Many studies have found there are significant public health risks because of stigma.

We’re probably never going to persuade everyone to treat Charlie Sheen’s diagnosis with respect and dignity or prevent them from making stupid TIGER BLOOD jokes. But the lessons we learn from how we talk about Sheen’s announcement have real-world repercussions on non-famous people living with HIV stigma every day.

If we work hard to reveal the reality — that living with HIV isn’t a death sentence, that there’s nothing to fear from HIV-positive individuals — we can create a world where folks can divulge their status on their own terms. It’ll be a better, safer world for everyone.

  • New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support
    Photo credit: CanvaPostpartum depression requires various kinds of support.

    First-time motherhood can feel overwhelming in every way. Bringing a human into the world that you are responsible for and fall madly in love with is life-changing, to say the least. But when you add a layer of postpartum depression (PPD) onto that overwhelm, it can all feel like way too much to handle.

    A mom shared texts her mother-in-law sent her when she was struggling with PPD with her firstborn, and people are loving them. The post from @mamaesterm provides a great example of what support looks like.

    First, it’s important to note that one of the most important ways to support someone going through PPD is to encourage and help them seek professional help. Treatments are available.

    Each text has a specific element that makes it particularly effective:

    ‘Can I come by and help tidy up while you take a nap with the baby?’

    This message acknowledges that Mom needs sleep and also needs a clean home. Often, those needs are not compatible in the early weeks and months of motherhood. People tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but if you have a high-needs baby, nap time is often the only time you have to get things done. People will also say the state of your house doesn’t matter, but for many, if not most, it’s easier to manage mental health when the home is under control.

    So, having someone ask if they can come and help with the house while Mom naps with the baby hits both needs simultaneously.

    mom, motherhood, newborn, postpartum depression
    Helping with the house while Mom sleeps can be a huge help.

    ‘You’re doing such a great job, I know it’s hard sometimes. [heart emoji]

    Encouragement is so important for new parents. It’s common to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with a new baby, while desperately wanting to not screw it up. And when you’re struggling with PPD, the guilt over feeling unable to care for your child the way you want to makes all of that worse. Being told you’re doing a good job feels like a refreshing drink of water.

    ‘Look how sweet she is she’s the cutest little thing, I’m obsessed with the precious photo editing app you told me about.’ [baby photo]

    When you’re wrapped up in all the feelings, hormones, and overwhelm of new motherhood with PPD piled on top of it, it’s easy to lose perspective. Seeing reality through a loved one’s eyes can sometimes help ease some of the distorted thinking.

    The beauty in this message is there’s no shame or guilt attached to it. Some people might say something like, “Why are you sad? You have a beautiful, healthy baby!” which often just leads the mom to feeling guilty about feelings she can’t control. This text makes no judgments, and, in fact, reminds the mom of something positive she has done for her family.

    Overwhelmed mother next to baby’s crib.

    ‘Pete mentioned it was a long night with baby girl. I’m doing a Starbucks run and will drop off breakfast for you on the porch.’

    This one might just be the best. Asking if someone wants help is great. But sometimes just doing the thing without asking, especially if it’s not intrusive in any way, is the way to go. Saying, “I’m heading out for food. I’m going to grab you some and drop it on your porch,” removes any obligation from the equation. No decision had to be made. No pressure to interact or entertain, which can be a big load off. And no guilt over the state of the house or your lack of a shower, which is huge.

    As one commenter wrote, “Starbucks left on the porch…that’s someone who just wants to love and help without intruding. She’s a gem, keep her.”

    What are some common signs of PPD?

    Hormonal fluctuations after birth can cause a lot of emotional ups and downs. What makes postpartum depression different from the “baby blues” is the intensity and severity of the downs.

    According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can be signs you might be struggling with PPD:

    • Feeling sad, worthless, hopeless, or guilty
    • Worrying excessively or feeling on edge
    • Loss of interest in hobbies or things you usually enjoy
    • Changes in appetite or not eating
    • Loss of energy and motivation
    • Trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all the time
    • Crying for no reason or excessively
    • Difficulty thinking or focusing
    • Lack of interest in your baby or feeling anxious around your baby

    If you’ve recently given birth and these symptoms sound familiar, definitely have a conversation about what you’re feeling with your doctor. And if you know someone who is struggling postpartum, support is crucial. In addition to helping them find professional help, providing encouragement and practical help, especially without having to be asked, can be invaluable.

  • Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation
    Photo credit: Instagram/@kendraalley [with permission]Kendra Alley's sons give pitch presentation for family vacation pick.
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    Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation

    “You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    Building confidence isn’t easy at any age, but for mom Kendra Alley, she is making sure she starts the process early. By getting creative, she’s teaching her young sons about confidence.

    The married mom-of-three shared her family’s new tradition that doubles as a confidence-building technique. When each child turns 10 years old, they get to choose where the family goes on vacation.

    The caveat: they must do a pitch-presentation explaining where they want to go and why. “In our family, turning 10 means you pick the family trip. Anywhere in the world. But you have to research it … and present it to us,” she explained in an Instagram post.

    The pitch-presentation, explained

    Alley shared more details about what the presentation entails, and why she and her husband have their sons do it.

    “We help them with a basic template, but they are required to add the flare. Why do we make them work so hard for something we would do anyway? It builds confidence, Research Skills, Public Speaking Practice, DELAYED GRATIFICATION and Family Connection,” she explained, later adding that “they also have to rehearse because they aren’t allowed to read straight off the screen.”

    When asked why they start at age 10 in the comments, Alley wrote, “I think my husband read something that said they [kids] remember most memories starting at age 10?? Something like that!”

    The tradition began in 2024, when their oldest son turned 10. He chose to go to Loch Lyme in New Hampshire (and drive there in an RV). And this year, her second oldest son turned 10. For his trip, he chose Hawaii.

    Her second son gives his presentation

    Alley captioned the video of her second son Loch’s presentation, “I’m so proud of him, he was so nervous. You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

    “Let’s do it!” Alley encourages him, and her husband shouts, “You’ve got this, my man!”

    He stands in front of them in the family’s living room with a microphone and a presentation of slides on the TV. He is clearly nervous, and Alley says to him, “Just start by telling us why we’re here!”

    As he speaks about his dream to travel to Hawaii (while dressed in an on-theme Hawaiian shirt), he visibly becomes more secure in himself as he details things he wants to eat (like shaved ice), the top things he wants to see (“Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa which are the twin mountains that kind of look like butt cheeks”), and do (like swim with sharks), and more.

    Viewers respond

    Many parents and viewers were inspired by the Alley’s family tradition, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

    “Love this. As someone who teaches people public speaking and presentation skills, this is amazing. I have never thought about having my own kids develop their skills in this area.”

    “Bravo to the parents. Persuasive speaking, presentation design, research, and then he gets the experiences of travel on top of it. I love this 👏.”

    “I implore folks to MAKE YOUR KID DO SMALL PRESENTATIONS LIKE THIS AS EARLY AND OFTEN AS POSSIBLE! Thank me later! —-A former high school public speaking teacher.”

    “Love his close – end with a question and a big ask. He’s got a future in sales 👏.”

    “I told my daughter we were doing this after you told me this idea and she is pre-planning for Japan 😭🙏🏼🤣.”

    “I love someone who dresses the theme!”

    “This is the sweetest 🥹❤️.”

    “I just love this so much! Such epic parenting….from a non parent 😂.”

    “Stealing this for my future children.”

  • Why people have been accidentally giving Einstein credit for this powerful quote about fairytales
    https://www.canva.com/photos/MAG3IPmP7w8-father-and-son-reading-book-together-on-sofa-at-home/A quote about reading fairytales to children is often attributed to Albert Einstein.
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    Why people have been accidentally giving Einstein credit for this powerful quote about fairytales

    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

    German physicist Albert Einstein was a genius. Many people view him as a wise authority on life advice and wisdom, and numerous Albert Einstein quotes are now famous.

    One topic he shared his insights on is parenting. Einstein was a father of three, and he shared his thoughts on how to raise resilient kids.

    But there is one parenting quote often attributed to Einstein that he did not say. The topic: how to make children more intelligent.

    Einstein’s misattributed quote

    The famous quote people assume Einstein said is:

    “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

    However, the quote has not been verified as directly coming from Einstein. Folklorist Stephen Winick at the American Folklife Center of the Library of Congress explained the “folklore” behind the quote and how it’s been spread throughout the years.

    The story about Einstein’s fairytale quote

    According to Winick, Einstein may in fact have said the quote (or a version of it), but it was likely misconstrued throughout the years.

    “As a result of this oral, print, and electronic transmission, the story of Einstein advocating fairy tales resembles other folk stories: it exists in multiple versions that vary in their details,” he explained.

    He traced the history of Einstein’s quote using the Library of Congress resources, noting that the quote was first shared in print in 1958 by librarian Elizabeth Margulis in an article titled “Fairy Tales and More Fairy Tales” in the New Mexico Library Bulletin.

    Margulis shared a story about an interaction she heard about between Einstein and another woman, where the woman asked him advice on how to help her son become a scientist:

    “In Denver I heard a story about a woman who was friendly with the late Dr. Einstein, surely acknowledged as an outstanding ‘pure’ scientist. She wanted her child to become a scientist, too, and asked Dr. Einstein for his suggestions for the kind of reading the child might do in his school years to prepare him for this career. To her surprise Dr. Einstein recommended ‘fairy tales and more fairy tales.’ The mother protested this frivolity and asked for a serious answer, but Dr. Einstein persisted, adding that creative imagination is the essential element in the intellectual equipment of the true scientist, and that fairy tales are the childhood stimulus of this quality! (p.3)”

    Modern-day misinformation on Einstein’s quote

    The story shared by Margulis has been the crux of the quote’s origin, but it was not a firsthand account. Winick adds that her story was then re-shared by another famous children’s librarian in 1958, and another version of the story was given in a 1963 library publication by author Doris Gates, furthering its spread.

    Winick cites an article by children’s librarian Jane Buel Bradley to explain:

    “…Doris Gates, writer and children’s librarian, reports that Albert Einstein told an anxious mother who wanted to help her child become a scientist: ‘First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!’”

    Since the 1960s, the quote has continued to take on a life of its own. However, evidence of Einstein ever saying it has yet to be confirmed.

  • Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be
    Photo credit: CanvaA woman is suprosed after reading something on her computer
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    Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be

    Her name is Samantha Hart. Her professional email address is the problem.

    The recent trend of parents going out of their way to give their children unique names has brought up a lot of discussion on social media. Some of these names sound cute when a child is 5 years old. But will Caeleigh, Zoomer or Rhyedyr look like a serious adult on a job application in a few years?

    A recent viral video on TikTok is a unique twist on the current discussion surrounding names. Samantha Hart has a name that doesn’t seem like it would draw any negative attention in professional circles. However, her parents didn’t consider email conventions when they named her back in the late ‘90s when email was new.

    Her name was fine, but her email was not

    “My name is Samantha Hart,” she said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be ‘shart.’” For the uninitiated, a “shart” is an unintentional release when one thinks they only have gas. Yikes.

    @thesam_show

    sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!

    ♬ original sound – Sam Showalter

    The issue arose because Samantha has had two “professional” jobs in the past in which her name has been an issue. So, as she began a third job, she wondered how to approach the situation with a new employer.

    “At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said.

    So she asked her followers on TikTok if she should just “reach out, right off the bat” to her employer and ask for “something else” or wait for HR to react to her email situation. But most of the responses were from people who have been in the same embarrassing situation as Samantha and wished their parents had thought twice before naming them.

    She was definitely not alone in this

    “Clittmann has entered the chat. Have been dealing with this since college,” Chris.Littmann responded.

    “As Swallo, I feel your pain,” Samantha Wallo replied.

    “My name is Sue Hartlove so my work emails are always shartlove,” Sue added.

    “I went to college w Tiffany Estes,” Abby1233213 wrote.

    “Rkelley has entered the chat,” Rach commented.

    “Worked with a guy named Sam Adcock,” Lori added.

    “My last name is Hartstein, and my mom’s personal email is ‘shartstein.’ People literally call her shart-stein,” Lyss wrote.

    “I used to work with a BAllsman,” JenniferKerastas added.

    “I worked with a Patrick Ecker at a previous job…” NoName wrote.

    “Our high school used last name, first two letters of first name. My friend’s email ended up being ‘mountme,’” Averageldeal commented.

    Andy Marks won the comment section with: “Always best to initiate the shart convo… wait too long and it tends to come out at the least opportune moment.”

    baby names, unfortunate names, funny, TikTok, viral story, parenting, work email, professional life, Samantha Hart, shart
    Woman types on her phone. Photo credit: Canva

    What the IT experts had to say

    While the comments were dominated by people sharing their unfortunate email addresses, a few people in the IT field shared their advice for how Samantha should approach her new employer with her email issue. Most agreed that she should address the issue before it becomes a larger problem.

    “As someone in IT—please reach out. When we have to rename a bunch of logins after someone starts it can cause headaches for everyone (inc you!),” Kelsey Lane wrote.

    Expecting parents, please take notes.

    As a postscript, Hart later told BuzzFeed that she was getting married and would be taking her new husband’s last name. “I actually will be sad when I change my last name,” she said. “It’s such an iconic thing, and it’s something that I’ve turned into a kind of lore for myself.”

    This article originally appeared three years ago.

  • “You deserve better”: Mom leaves her husband after he refuses to clean up for 6 days straight
    Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.

    Household inequity is getting better in some households. In others, it’s completely out of control. A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

    Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. “Shampoo on the carpets in the girls’ room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers,” wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here.”

    She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. “Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn’t have that excuse anymore,” Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

    She packed up and didn’t look back

    In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle.

    The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. “You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You’ll get here, too,” Angela LaRoche wrote.

    “Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!” Japanese with Jenny wrote. “That home is beautiful because of YOU,” Hillary added. “You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you.”

    Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

    The numbers tell an even bigger story

    A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

    Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

    The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

    Here is where she is now

    Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she’s having difficulty keeping it clean because she’s been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: “Progress, not perfection.” In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

    This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

  • His mother gave him the ‘husbands in training’ course every parent should give their kids
    The mother of artist Doug Weaver made a curriculum for him for dating

    Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, roughly 40% of those marriages will end in divorce, according to current research.

    Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

    Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

    No comment on how that’s going.

    The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it’s usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn’t very promising when you dig into it.

    One mom decided to do something about it

    Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

    You’ve heard of things like “Mom-Son Date Night” (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a “date” so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?

    Weaver’s training was like that on steroids.

    “When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called ‘Husbands in Training,’” he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. “It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband.”

    Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on “the ethics of the porn industry.” His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

    “There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum,” Doug said. “There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn’t.”

    Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. “We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being,” Doug explained.

    A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent… but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.

    The curriculum was so good, dad enrolled too

    The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. “A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. “So, he decided he also wanted to take ‘Husbands in Training.’”

    It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren’t usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active “problems” may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.

    The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. “My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day,” he shared in his TikTok clip.

     

    However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

    Now the lessons are available to everyone

    The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn’t just be something we pick up by accident.

    As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage. He has since said he plans to adapt the curriculum for his own children, with a particular focus on consent and healthy conflict resolution.

    This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

  • A pot left on the stove overnight led to an award-winning science fair project and life-saving device
    Photo credit: CanvaA pot left on a stove (left). A teen girl looking thoughtfully (right).

    Montreal-based 9th-grader Aviana Machnes didn’t only come up with an award-winning science fair idea, she created a device that could save the lives of dementia patients. It all started with a pot left out on the stove. 

    As reported by Global News, Machnes’ grandmother, who has early-onset dementia, had forgotten to take a pot off the hot stove, subsequently leaving it there overnight. Finding no solutions to this problem, Machnes decided to tackle it herself. 

    Using current sensors and motion detectors, Machnes created a device dubbed the Forget-Me-Not that will automatically set off an alarm if no one is around for an extended period of time. 

    This not only earned Machnes a top placement at her regional science fair (beating out older students) but it’s now something she hopes to patent (along with a phone app) that would be implemented into long-term care homes. 

    The invention is something that Jesse Clair, one of Machnes’ science teachers, calls a great example of how, even in a school environment, students can “get their hands dirty” to “work on actual real-world problems.” 

    A growing need for everyday safety solutions

    Machnes’ device taps into a very real and increasing need. Dementia affects millions of people worldwide, and one of the most pressing concerns for families and caregivers is safety in the home when individuals are left without supervision. Everyday tasks like cooking can become dangerous when memory lapses occur. Devices like the Forget-Me-Not aim to bridge that gap, offering a layer of protection without taking away independence.

    Other innovations are addressing similar concerns. Smart stove shut-off systems, for example, can automatically turn off burners if no movement is detected nearby. Wearable GPS trackers help caregivers locate loved ones who may wander. Some companies have even developed simplified communication tablets designed specifically for those with cognitive decline, allowing users to connect with family through easy-to-navigate interfaces.

    Breakthroughs in dementia research

    Beyond assistive devices, scientific research is making unprecedented progress in understanding and treating dementia. In recent years, new medications and lifestyle changes have been developed that may slow cognitive decline in patients with early-stage Alzheimer’s disease. In some cases, these changes may even prevent it entirely.

    Similarly, advancements in brain imaging have improved early detection, giving patients and families more time to plan and seek treatment. There is also growing interest in personalized care approaches, which tailor therapies to an individual’s specific condition and history. 

    When science fair ideas change lives

    Science fairs have long been the starting point for inventions just like Machnes’ that later found real-world applications. One well-known example is a student-designed early warning system for heart attacks that used simple sensors to detect irregular patterns. Another young inventor created a low-cost water purification system that has since been adapted for use in communities lacking clean drinking water.

    These projects often begin with a personal experience, much like Machnes’ story. A problem at home or in the community becomes the catalyst for experimentation. With guidance from teachers and access to basic tools, students can transform these creative ideas into tangible solutions. It really is a team effort. 

  • New Orleans is sending nurses on house calls to help new mothers
    Photo credit: CanvaA nurse feeds a newborn.
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    New Orleans is sending nurses on house calls to help new mothers

    Bringing back house calls is improving the health of mothers and babies.

    According to the United Health Foundation, Louisiana is the least healthy state for women and children. For that state and many others, one major factor is the need to address the health of new mothers and their babies.

    Most parents know how overwhelming it can feel to suddenly care for a newborn without much experienced help. With that in mind, New Orleans brought back house calls, sending nurses to support new mothers.

    The program Family Connects New Orleans offers new mothers up to three in-home visits from a registered nurse for babies up to 12 weeks old. It allows nurses to check in on both the babies and their mothers to ensure they’re safe and healthy.

    The nurses are also able to spot symptoms of postpartum depression earlier, allowing mothers to receive treatment sooner. According to Rosemary Westwood of WWNO, “About 10% of moms participating in the New Orleans program were eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression, compared with 6% of moms who did not get the visits.”

    How does this work?

    The nurses visit with supplies for the baby, perform examinations (such as checking the child’s weight), and help answer any questions from the mothers.

    “We got to do some real things real differently, unless you like being number 50 all the time,” Dr. Jennifer Avegno, New Orleans’ health director, told NPR. “There is no more critical time and vulnerable time than right at birth and in the few weeks to months following birth.”

    “You go, you have your delivery, you’re in the hospital and everything is there. You go home, there’s a bit of a honeymoon period, and then, for many women, you fall off a cliff,” Avegno told The Guardian. “It’s the time in your life when your resources are generally at their lowest. We often don’t know about it until you hit one of our systems later on, whether that’s child protection, whether it’s the ER, whether it’s substance use treatment.”

    The program, which shows great potential for New Orleans, has found success in other states. When it was introduced in North Carolina, both mothers and their babies’ health significantly benefited from the home visits. In fact, a Duke University study of the program found that every dollar invested in the home visits saved $3.14 in healthcare billing before the child turned two.

    @thatheitgirl

    Sometimes supporting a friend who’s deep in postpartum life feels overwhelming because you don’t always know what she needs or how to show up. That’s why this postpartum scale is such a game changer. I put together 17 simple, practical ways to use someone’s “number” to guide you; from knowing when to send help, to when to offer company, to when to just let her rest. It takes the guesswork out of supporting each other and makes showing up feel natural instead of awkward or intrusive. And even though I created this scale with postpartum moms in mind, it’s just as powerful for anyone navigating mental illness, chronic illness, burnout, or big emotional seasons. Sometimes people don’t have the words to explain where they’re at, but they can give you a number. That number can help you understand their capacity, their needs, and how to support them without pushing too hard. It’s a tool that builds connection, reduces isolation, and reminds all of us that we don’t need to struggle alone. #PostpartumSupport #MentalHealthTools #MaternalMentalHealth #SupportYourFriends

    ♬ Soft and minimal instrumental music(1259336) – MaxRecStudio

    Where can new mothers get support?

    If you or someone you know is expecting, it may be worth seeing if a similar program is available near you. Organizations such as Welcome Baby in Los Angeles or national ones like Nurse-Family Partnership could help. The Health Resources & Services Administration has a database to find assistance near you as well.

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