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Joy

'Making everyone feel included': 14 of the most 'attractive' social skills you can have

"A very underrated one is being able to make the person you are talking to feel good/smart about themselves."

conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalist

A man and woman hitting it off on a date.

When people talk about those with excellent social skills, we often say they are charismatic, have a way with people, or were born with the gift of gab. They may have an “infectious energy” or be able to talk to anyone. It can often seem like these are innate qualities that someone is born with, but they are also skills most can learn.

One of the easiest ways to become more sociable is to improve your listening skills. Studies show that people who are great at listening ask genuine questions, are attentive, and pay attention to body language. Also, by presenting positive body language, you can give the impression to others that you are more approachable and are intently listening to what the other person is saying.

That being said, some barriers make it harder for some people to develop excellent social skills. A lot of it has to do with how they were raised. “Learning social skills can be difficult if you weren’t exposed to traditional group dynamics as a child, if you struggle with a mental illness like anxiety or depression, or even if you just didn’t have a lot of positive role models when you were growing up,” Eric Ravenscraft writes for The New York Times.

conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistTwo women having a great converation. via Canva/Photos

Another way to improve one’s social skills is to find what other people find attractive, not just in a romantic sense, but what makes them enjoyable to be around. A Redditor on the Social Skills subforum asked people what the “most attractive “social skill” and people sounded off the things that make people a pleasure to talk to and be around.

Here are 14 of the “most attractive” social skills.

1. Making everyone feel included

"Being able to make everyone feel included. I am a bit of an anxious mess sometimes, and I LOVE the type of person that just makes you feel accepted/included/ a part of the group."

2. Appropriate amount of eye contact

"Not afraid to break eye contact, but not too long enough to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Not being afraid to open up or tell something vulnerable."

"Knowing how to break away eye contact is never emphasized. Like, aren't people aware that intense eye contact looks psychopathic, creepy, or disturbing?"

3. They make people feel smart

"A very underrated one is being able to make the person you are talking to feel good/smart about themselves. I had a few mentors that did this. Anytime I’d say something, they would make me feel smart/good by responding, 'Yes, you are totally right,' or something along those lines. Of course, it needs to be genuine, but you can tell the difference in how people react. Also, if you know someone has knowledge about something, asking them questions about is great too."


conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistA man and woman having a great conversaion.via Canva/Photos

4. Being a good listener

"Being a good listener. I don't mean by just nodding and agreeing with the person and forgetting what they've told you or submitting yourself to a ranter because you're a people pleaser. I mean when someone makes you feel comfortable speaking, they ask questions, they engage, etc. Extra bonus if the speaker is also a listener and hasn't had anyone else to listen to them because others just use them."

"Women have this joke about 'Let a man speak for ten minutes and he’ll think he’s in love with you' but there’s reasons for that lol. For one thing, so many people are terrible listeners, so it is genuinely attractive. They’ve probably just never shut up for more than a few minutes in their life before. l And the other is that men are so deprived for healthy interactions like this where the other person actually cares about what they’re saying, that it genuinely means a lot to them because it’s so rare."

5. Laughing on cue

"As an awkward person, letting someone else take over the conversation while I smile and nod has never failed me."

6. Being funny

Humorous people aren't just fun to be around; studies show that when both men and women read someone's dating profile, those who are funny are more attractive. Research has found that one of the most important reasons is that funny people signal adaptability and creative problem-solving—traits crucial for maintaining long-term relationships. "In this sense, humor isn’t just about making people laugh—it may reflect an individual’s ability to approach challenges with flexibility and innovation, key traits for navigating a relationship’s ups and downs," Brian Collisson Ph.D. writes at Psychology Today.

7. A free-thinker

"Anyone who is able to unapologetically separate themselves from the Hive-Mind. It’s so easy to get caught up in the crowd and develop thoughts, opinions, and ideas of those you surround yourself with. So, anyone with the ability to objectively approach any situation, topic, or person without immediate judgement and rationally decipher thru all the bullsh*t regardless of what others may think or say…extremely attractive…and rare."

8. A good dancer

"I was going to say partner dancing lol. I've been learning to salsa dance at a social dance club near me, and it's been a blast. Have loved it so far."

"There’s a lot of communication and give and take going on in salsa dancing and other traditional Latin dances that are invisible to the naked eye. Definitely adds like 10 points if you’re good at it lol."


9. Soothing tone of voice

"People sometimes think connecting is about so many specifics: these particular words, that length of eye contact, some sort of posture etc. When, in fact, what people are MOST affected by is your tone of voice. If you're able to convey WARMTH you can win over 95 percent of people. I would define warmth as friendliness, extending an invitation with your voice, ACCEPTING people using your tone, and kind of an inherent confidence while doing that. It's something that I call a 'Vocal Hug.' Once you know how to do this, almost everything else falls into place."

10. True charisma

"You won’t get an answer 'cause it’s not something that can be described in words, just a feeling. When you’re there you know and when it’s done to you you know."

"It’s so obscure, but we all recognize it when we meet someone that has it. It’s a feeling. It’s all psychological."

11. Easy banter

"I love banter. I love an easy back-and-forth that doesn’t feel caustic or uncomfortable the way that teasing sometimes does, where you have to guess or overthink whether that comment was meant to push at your boundaries or not."


conversation, attractive social skills, great conversationalistA man and woman having a fun conversation.via Canva/Photos

12. They're great 'explainers'

"For me, the most attractive social skill is the ability to explain something confidently in a way that makes everyone listen and understand."

13. Good words on a bad day

"Having nice words left despite being in a bad mood. Everyone knows following situation: Someone comes to work with a bad mood, starts getting mad about the smallest stuff, colleagues get pissed because they get yelled at for the smallest stuff and suddenly everyone is is pissed at each other. I have big respect for people that can be surrounded by such negativity and still find the time to give a smile, compliments and ask how you're doing."

14. They enjoy silence

"The people who don’t rush to fill every silence or feel the need to are AMAZING …. I wish one day i’ll meet someone i can enjoy silence with."

"Comfortable silences are always greatly appreciated. Conversation can be great and helpful at passing the time, but it’s a healthy sign that one is mentally/emotionally mature enough to realize that neither need to be constantly entertained like children. It can also indicate a person who genuinely enjoys being around you and is comforted by your presence."

"Facts. Silence isn’t awkward unless you make it awkward."


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

Simple. Disgusting. Informative.

One of the biggest breakthroughs in preventing the spread of illnesses and infections in hospitals was embarrassingly simple: hand washing. In 1846, Hungarian physician Ignaz Semmelweis discovered that hand washing played a vital role in the spread of germs, and the practice soon became mandatory in hospitals. The simple act of scrubbing hands with soap and water literally saved lives.

Getting a kid to wash their hands, however, can be an uphill battle. While it's a common thing kids (don't) do, global perspective on the importance and effectiveness of hand washing has risen since the COVID-19 pandemic. According to a study published by the National Library of Medicine (NLM) in 2023, before the emergence of COVID-19, a survey found that only about 36% of people always washed their hands with soap, 48% sometimes used soap, and an unsettling 16% of respondents said they wash without soap. After COVID-19 emerged, however, more than 72% of respondents reported using soap every time they washed their hands. There's nothing like a pandemic (and perhaps the reality of FAFO) to strike fear into the hearts of those chronic under washers, but in 2019, one teacher did a simple experiment to show her students just how important hand washing is.

"We did a science project in class this last month as flu season was starting," teacher Dayna Robertson and classroom behavioral specialist Jaralee Metcalf wrote on Facebook. "We took fresh bread and touched it. We did one slice untouched. One with unwashed hands. One with hand sanitizer. One with washed hands with warm water and soap. Then we decided to rub a piece on all our classroom Chromebooks." Robertson later noted that they normally do make a point to sanitize the classroom Chromebooks, but didn't that day in the name of science.

science, experiment, dexter's lab, cartoon, kids, hygiene Dexters Laboratory What A Fine Day For Science GIFGiphy

The bread was put into plastic bags and the germs were left to fester. The bread that had been touched by unwashed hands and the bread that had touched the Chromebook had the most mold. The bread that had been touched by hands washed with soap and water remained (relatively) good enough to eat.

This experiment has been done before, but Robertson expanded on it by testing the effectiveness of hand sanitizer. The bread that had been touched by hands cleaned with sanitizer also had a fair amount of mold on it, although not as much as the bread touched by unwashed hands.

bread, mold, experiment, education, hand washing, cleanlinessThe bread doesn't lie. Facebook/Jaralee Metcalf

"As somebody who is sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired," Robertson wrote, "wash your hands! Remind your kids to wash their hands! And hand sanitizer is not an alternative to washing hands!! At all!" It's kind of making us retroactively gag over seeing port-a-potties with hand sanitizer set up in lieu of sinks.

The experiment was prompted by a different science lesson. "We had just finished a science lesson on how leaves break down during winter. The kids were kind of grossed out by the mold, so we decided to run our own version using germs and mold from our own environment," Robertson told Scary Mommy.

Weirdly, the classroom experiment received some criticism. "Lots of people actually DEFENDED not washing their hands!" Robertson told Scary Mommy. "That was shocking! It really was just a simple classroom experiment to teach about mold but we have all learned more about how easily we can spread the germs we can't see."

In the 2019 lens, this lesson being about mold seems simple enough. All of us here in 2025, though, blessed (or cursed) with the experience of the pandemic, know that washing your hands really is as life-saving as Semmelweis proved nearly two centuries ago. Research done in 2020 and published in PubMed showed that individuals who washed their hands consistently were more likely to have lower rates of COVID-19 infection. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) in 2024, hand washing also reduces respiratory illness like colds and flu in the general population by 16-21%, and reduces the number of people with diarrheal illnesses by 23-40%.

And to be sure, how we wash our hands is incredibly important. A quick rinse without scrubbing won't do the trick. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), the proper technique for handwashing is to wet your hands, apply soap, and then run your soapy hands under the stream while rotating, rubbing, and scrubbing every inch of your hands for at least 20 seconds. Usually you can hit that mark by singing "Happy Birthday" twice. Then, rinse. When you're done, dry your hands with a clean towel. Check out this demonstration from the CDC:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The moral of the story is, please, please remember to always wash your hands. It really makes a difference.

This article originally appeared six years ago. It has been updated.

Modern Families

Man hilariously calls out why the trend of giving babies 'old people names' has got to go

“Ma’am. George is a mechanic in his 60s and he can’t work on your car this week because his sugars is running high.”

@mannybuckley/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

Someone finally said what we're all thinking.

Listen, baby name trends come and go. What was once a hip and cool name will eventually be seen as passé (this coming from someone with a name that is now obsolete, apparently) and names once thought of as old-fashioned will absolutely become cool again. It’s part of the circle of life, like the tides, the seasons, the rising and setting of the sun…accept it.

In fact, this comeback is already happening. According to the Social Security Administration, vintage names like Theodore, Henry, Willam, Charlotte, Evelyn, and Emma are among the top ten most popular baby names of the moment. Jimmy Fallon’s daughters are named Winnie and Frances, for crying out loud.

However, just because there’s been an uptick in names that harken you back to a time when “good show, old sport” was a common phrase, not everyone is on board. Recently, content creator Manny Buckley hilariously put into words what many of us think of these WWII era names.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, Buckley first savagely said, “Y’all went from naming all y’all’s kids Jayden, Cayden, and Aiden, Madison, Addison, and Addylyn to giving them all old people names.” He then recounted being on a train and hearing another call after her toddler, whose name was George.

“Ma’am. George is a mechanic in his 60s and he can’t work on your car this week because his sugars is running high.” Where’s the lie?

He didn’t stop there, going on a lighthearted rant about the types of images certain now-popular names actually evoke, like Agnes (a “Florida retiree in her 70s who cannot leave the retirement home”), Ira (an “80 year old Jewish man”), Belinda (a “registered nurse who has been working in the field for 50 years”), and Clifford (a 85-year-old navy vet who needs “all y'all to be quiet”). Nary a kid sounding name in sight, if you ask him.

Though the video was clearly just a lighthearted jab, a few adults came into the comments to defend the use of vintage names.

“We aren’t naming babies. We’re naming people,” one top comment wrote, while another seconded, “Exactly! Some people don’t realize this. They are kids for a very short period of time, then they are adults.”

Still, another quipped, “yeah, but they aren’t senior citizens forever either!” Another wrote “I’m Martha…I’ve been 80 since the first grade.”

A few others, particularly teachers, chimed in with their own equally funny experience of kids having old fashioned names.

I am a kindergarten teacher. I have Marjorie and Brenda. It’s like a 1950’s secretarial pool.

I have kindergarteners named Edyth, Arthur, and Iris. They’re going to form a knitting club at recess.”

“My nephew is Charles lmao and he may only be 2.5, but he is the school maintenance and everyone call uncle.”

“We have Matilda and Cordelia, 4 and 2, shelling beans on the porch. Their nicknames are just as old, Tilly and Della. I love them though.”

And there you have it, folks. We have indeed come full circle. But is it any weirder than the thought of someone calling their Grandma Brittany? I think not.

This article originally appeared in February

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

If you want to freak out a Gen Zer, put a period at the end of a text message.

As a Gen X mom of three Gen Z kids in their teens and 20s, there's a lot that I'm willing to concede and even celebrate when it comes to the gap in our generations. I love Gen Z's global consciousness, their openness about mental health, their focus on inclusivity, and their insistence on wearing comfortable shoes with formal wear. But there's one Gen Z feature that I simply cannot abide, and that is the weaponization of basic punctuation.

"It freaks me out when you say 'yes period' in a text," my high schooler told me one day. "It feels so aggressive, like I feel like I'm in trouble or something." I stared at him incredulously as my 20-year-old laughed but then agreed with him. "It does! The period makes it feel like you're mad," she said.

Ah yes, the period, the punctuation mark famous for its aggressive connotation. Far from being a mere generational quirk, this misinterpreting of benign text messages as aggressive or angry could result in serious communication breakdowns. Talking by text is already hard enough, and now we're adding a layer of meaning that older folks don't have a clue about?

text screenshotA Gen X text convo with Gen ZPhoto credit: Annie Reneau

The kids are serious about this, though. According to Gen Zers, pretty much any time someone puts a period at the end of a text, it means they're mad or irritated. At the risk of sounding like a dinosaur, I'd like to point out that reading into periods in texts like this is just silly. It's silly when the young folks do it with each other, but it's extra silly when they do it with adults who didn't grow up with texting and have ingrained grammatical habits that aren't easy to shake. (And frankly, some of us don't want to shake—I'm a former English teacher, for crying out loud.)

In no reasonable world can "Yes." be automatically viewed as aggressive. It's just not. Neither is "Time to get off the computer." Neither is "Got it." Or "OK." or "Sure." I understand that texting conventions have evolved such that end punctuation isn't necessary, but when did we start assigning negative intentions to very basic punctuation? I mean, if I wanted to be aggressive, I'd text, "HEY—time to GET OFF the COMPUTER!" A period should not be read as anything more than a matter-of-fact, neutral-toned statement. We have other tools for conveying tone in writing—capital letters, italics, bold, exclamation points, and now a whole slew of emojis. A period is and has always been neutral. That's literally the entire point of a period.

I'm even willing to give Gen Z an inch on the thumbs-up emoji—they think that's aggressive, too—only because emojis are new and their meanings are up for interpretation. But a period? Not budging. That little dot has been signaling the end of people's thoughts for centuries. Periods can and do sometimes affect tone in subtle ways—"No, I didn't," hits slightly differently than "No. I didn't."—but their basic inclusion at the end of a thought in no way signals aggression or anger, by text or otherwise. Not on Gen X's watch, at least. This is one generational hill I am willing to die on.

Oh Yeah Mic Drop GIF by Taylor BisciottiGiphy

These unwritten rules of texting seem to have been concocted by Gen Z, but when? And how? Who decides these things? Is there a group of super powerful and influential young adults who put out a bat signal at some point saying that periods are symbols of aggression? If the young folks want to play the reading-into-basic-punctuation game amongst themselves, making communication much more complicated for themselves, have at it. But please don't ascribe intent to us old fogies who've had "declarative statements end in periods" ingrained in us since elementary school.

Texting wasn't always like this. When texting first became a thing, using periods in them was pretty normal. As more and more people started dropping them (and capitalization—another deep English teacher wound), I held firm to their usage, mostly out of habit and feeling like my texts were incomplete without them. As my kids got old enough to text and informed me that periods are viewed by their age group as aggressive, I reconsidered. Should I stop using them, giving in to the tyranny of Gen Z's overthinking? Should I keep using them, embracing the fact that I'm old and set in my ways?

Ultimately, I landed on sometimes using periods in texts and sometimes not—a compromise between my own rigid grammar rules and Gen Z's seemingly senseless texting rules. Except only using them sometimes just confuses my kids even more, which is hilarious. Is Mom mad? Is she not? My daughter said she just has to remind herself who is texting, knowing that I—and most of my generation—simply don't use periods aggressively.

Nope. Not happening. Not ever. Period.

This article originally appeared in February.