Mom calls out unfair 'double standard' of boomer grandparents who don't help with childcare
"I love my mom dearly, but I'm surprised at how little effort she puts in."
A stressed mom and her happy, busy parents.
As far as generational stereotypes go, baby boomers (1946 to 1964) have often been accused of being a self-absorbed generation that has had no problem hoarding wealth, disregarding the environment, and prioritizing their own interests over their families. After all, they’re the generation that predominantly raised Gen X (1965 to 1980) and older millennials ('80s babies), also known as Gen Goonie, who were the least parented group of people in decades.
It’s unfair to paint an entire generation with the same brush. Still, the people who were once called the “Me Generation” are developing a reputation for being less involved in their grandchildren’s lives than their parents. The different grandparenting styles have been attributed to the fact that boomers worked longer and therefore want to enjoy their retirement. They also have more money than their parents to enjoy traveling and pursuing their hobbies. Those looking to take shots at boomers claim that they didn’t put a lot of effort into raising their kids, so why would they be any different with their grandkids?
Baby boomer grandparents.via Canva/Photos
A mother of one, who goes by TheCalmQuail on Mumsnet (a UK-based mothers' forum), made a controversial post, calling out a significant double standard when it comes to boomers. They had no problem having their parents help raise their kids, but they don’t want to extend the same courtesy to their children.
“It's come up in a few conversations with other parents recently about how little time their parents spend with their children, especially in comparison to when they were younger and at their grandparents' daily,” CalmQuail wrote. “Myself included, I avoided nursery completely when my mother went back to work because free daily childcare from a relative, and some of my happiest regular memories are spending regular one-on-one time with my Nana.”
“I realise grandparents are entitled to their own lives, but the lack of help does seem like double standards, when a large majority have seemingly had so much help themselves,” she continued.
A stressed mom with her head in her hands.via Canva/Photos
CalmQuail added that her mother lives up the road from her but still finds excuses not to help our child or even spend time with her kid. “It often feels like she's an extra toddler, as I have to suggest stuff to tempt her to do anything together; I manage the logistics, drive her there, etc. She will be there for emergency childcare requests when possible,” she continued. At the end of her post, she asked whether she was being unreasonable for thinking that her parents should put as much effort into raising their grandchildren as they had put into raising their parents.
The verdict: 68% thought she was NOT being unreasonable, and 32% felt that she was being unreasonable. Therefore, a majority of parents on the forum believe that Baby Boomers have the same responsibility to their grandchildren as the Silent Generation (1928 to 1945) did to theirs.
Many parents on the forum have experienced similar situations with their boomer parents and have given them a little grace by acknowledging that their grandparents didn’t have many resources or retirement expectations, so they dedicated their energy to their families.
A stressed mom doing laundry.via Canva/Photos
“I know this will turn into a boomer bashing thread but my experience is my parents and their friends are early retirees with a fair bit of cash and feel they’ve earnt a nice easy long comfortable retirement (they have worked hard but only the same as us except we can’t afford a nanny, cleaner etc like they did…).so they’re busy on holidays, golfing, socialising,” a commenter wrote. “My grandparents were typical of their generation—very hard working, modest life, and incredibly family orientated, they had us every holiday.”
“I don’t think my grandparents had much in the way of expectations of retirement,” another commenter added. “They retired relatively early by today’s standards, and lived far longer than they expected. There wasn’t much of a sense of ‘enjoying your retirement’ by jetting off around the world or pursuing personal hobbies - they were always there and available.”
Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with baby boomers enjoying their retirement, but their children have a right to feel a bit miffed by the shift in grandparenting priorities. As times change, so do expectations, but why does it feel like younger people are always getting the short end of the stick when it comes to life's necessities, such as childcare and the cost of living? Unfortunately, so many younger people feel like they have to go it alone. However, kudos to the boomer grandparents who do help out with childcare, just as their parents did. As they say, it takes a village to raise a child, and these days, our villages need to be growing instead of shrinking.
Original Wonder Woman Lynda Carter becomes a superhero for the LGBTQ+ community
The actress recently defended the character as a gay icon.
Once a superhero, always a superhero.
For many, Lynda Carter is the definitive live action Wonder Woman. The actress first brought the comic book heroine to life in the '70s, and even makes an iconic cameo appearance in the modern-day films starring Gal Gadot. She’s got Wonder Woman action figures made in her likeness, for crying out loud.
All that to say, I think we can feel confident in dubbing Carter a Wonder Woman expert. She’s certainly poured a lot of heart and passion into the role over the years, and fans love her for it.
To kick off Pride Month for 2022, Carter tweeted a variant Wonder Woman comic book cover created by artist Paulina Ganucheau, which was released the previous year. The cover depicts the Amazon warrior smiling while brandishing her signature golden Lasso of Truth in front of a vibrant rainbow backdrop.
The sweet moment was cut rather short after someone commented, in all caps no less, that “Wonder Woman IS NOT A SUPER HERO FOR GAYS.”
In true Wonder Woman fashion, Carter was quick with a defensive comeback.
Carter replied, “You’re right. She’s a superhero for bisexuals!”
She attached a 2016 Polygon article where Greg Rucka, a major writer for the contemporary Wonder Woman comics, confirmed that Diana is, without a doubt, canonically queer. He added that considering the entire island of Themyscira where Diana lives was filled with only other Amazons for centuries upon centuries, “it makes no logical sense otherwise.”
Objectively, even the original conception of Wonder Woman had LGBTQ+ roots. When William Moulton Marston created her in 1941, she was inspired by both his wife Elizabeth and their polyamorous partner Olivia Byrne. Their story was depicted in the 2017 film “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women,” starring Luke Evans, Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote.
Carter later posted: 'I didn't write Wonder Woman, but if you want to argue that she is somehow not a queer or trans icon, then you're not paying attention.”
She also shared the the importance of keeping the character a queer icon so that others can be empowered to express themselves authentically. “Every time someone comes up to me and says that WW helped them while they were closeted, it reminds me how special the role is,” she wrote.
She then posted a photo from her Wonder Woman TV show days along with the caption: “Love seeing all the love from LGBTQ+ fans today! Now here’s one I’d like to call the ‘ready to fight your homophobic relatives’ pose. Just kidding. (Or am I)?”
This was followed by encouraging others to support LGBTQ organizations such as Trans Lifeline, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and PFLAG, which is geared specifically toward parents and families.
You know what they say … not all heroes wear capes. But they do all fight for humanity in their own way. Carter might have retired her magical tiara, but she’s still a queen.