Kids birthday party culture is definitely having a moment in the public discourse. For one thing, parties have become outrageously expensive. Renting a lane at the bowling alley and getting some pizza for a dozen kids used to be the cheap party. Now that same experience will probably run $500 or more. If you tack on custom desserts (and not a Costco sheet cake), goodie bags, and a premium venue like a trampoline park or arcade, you could be looking at a bill of close to $1000! That's madness!
RSVP etiquette is in crisis, too. Social media is rife with stories of no one RSVPing, RSVPers no-showing on the day, and others sorts of rude or bizarre behavior from parents that turns parties sour and, sadly, ruin kids' birthdays.
One dad's recent story of a birthday party gone horribly wrong, though, definitely takes the cake.
Planning a kid's birthday means expecting the unexpected. Giphy
"My son's birthday was recently and we decided to throw him a party at a local place that was kid focused and amazing," the dad writes in a Reddit post. Due to classroom rules and wanting to pass the invitations out through school, the family invited all 24 kids from their child's class.
"Not a single parent RSVP'ed. Not a single one. My name, my phone number, AND my spouse's phone number was on the card. I'm literally staring at one ... that I handwrote and this was included on the invite. I handwrote every card so I know for a fact what was on there," he says.
Not wanting to cancel the birthday party (and traumatize his son), the dad began inviting kids from other branches of his network. Friends' kids, coworkers kids. Basically anyone with a warm body so that they could throw a proper party. In the end, the family planned and paid for 15 kids to attend the party, including a resounding zero from class.
And then everything went haywire.
"Party was yesterday night. ... We get there, get settled in, and start seeing kids come in. A few of his classmates began showing up. I was fine with that and was excited kids started showing up for him. And then more kids started showing up. One family brought 7 kids total; 3 teens, 2 slightly older kids, a girl from his classmates, and their cousin. Another family brought their son AND one of his friends because 'they didn't know if their son would know anyone there so we wanted to make sure he had a friend to play with'. So many of them brought siblings."
The numbers quickly got way, way out of hand. Organizers at the venue told the dad he was going to have to pay for all the extra kids that showed up. So the OP unfortunately had to tell anyone who brought uninvited kids, or failed to RSVP, that they would have to pay their own way for all the crafts and activities available at the venue.
A few families apologized and ponied up, but... "I had multiple parents tell me that they didn't know they couldn't bring their other kids and promised to pay before they left. Some asked for my Cashapp/Venmo/Zelle so they could reimburse me later since they couldn't afford it right now. Some just left, a few taking their presents with them."
With so many kids running amok, the party took an unfortunate turn. Kids started being mean to an animal that was brought out for entertainment and its handlers had to put it away. Trash went flying everywhere. Kids climbed on tables and got kicked out. It was pandemonium.
Kids at the party climbed on and broke furnitureGiphy
In the end, dad had to pay an extra cleaning fee, pay for damage done to the venue, and pay for all the extra kids who showed up whose parents left before chipping in. Worse yet, his son was devastated at how the party turned out.
"I was in tears. My son is really upset that there were so many mean kids. He said this was the worst party ever and asked to not have a party for next year."
The obvious question coming out of this story: Why are people so awful?!
Stories like this one sadly aren't rare. The cynical take is that parents are ruder and more self-absorbed than ever, that our socially disconnected society has diluted our sense of community and obligation to be kind to each other.
The slightly more optimistic and probably more accurate take is that today's parents are completely overwhelmed and have their hands full coordinating handfuls of events that are months away, responding to dozens of daily emails from school and teachers and daycares, being engaged and hands-on in every aspects of their kids lives, etc. So RSVPs sometimes slip to the bottom of the list and get forgotten. The behavior in this dad's story is appalling, but probably not intentionally malicious.
Still, social media users were furious on behalf of the child and his parents in the story.
"This is unacceptable behavior," wrote one commenter.
"People suck and kids parties bring out the worst in people!" added another.
Whatever the cause, there are a few ways you can protect yourself and your kids from birthday party catastrophes like this one.
Don't include the specific location on the invite. The best way to stop people who didn't RSVP from showing up unannounced is to stay vague about the party venue. Just put the day and time on the invitation so people can save the date, but make them text or call before you tell them where the party will be held. That way, you can secure a commitment beforehand.
Specify whether siblings are welcome. Unfortunately, some parents have been known to use other kids birthday parties as informal daycares, dropping all of their kids off at once and taking themselves a nice break! It's not all conniving, though. It is legitimately a lot easier on some families to bring everyone along to a party rather than dividing and conquering to entertain siblings who weren't invited. Just be clear on the invite or in RSVP discussions about who's allowed to come and whether parents are expected to stay (or if it's a "drop off party").
Understand classroom rules. A lot of schools now require that, if birthday party invitations get handed out in class, that everyone is invited. That rules comes from a great place of not wanting anyone to feel left out, but it also causes a lot of problems. The inclusivity is a positive but it also means you end up inviting a lot of kids and parents you don't know very well or at all. If you're up for this logistical challenge, go for it! But if not, consider a smaller party with just your child's good friends—and invite them privately outside of school.
Finally, for anyone on the receiving end of a birthday party invitation, don't be a jerk! RSVPing either way is a much appreciated gesture. On the chance that you do forget to RSVP (it happens), don't show up unannounced. It may not seem like a big deal, but when a couple dozen sets of parents all have the same thought, this dad's viral story shows exactly what can go wrong.
Original Wonder Woman Lynda Carter becomes a superhero for the LGBTQ+ community
The actress recently defended the character as a gay icon.
Once a superhero, always a superhero.
For many, Lynda Carter is the definitive live action Wonder Woman. The actress first brought the comic book heroine to life in the '70s, and even makes an iconic cameo appearance in the modern-day films starring Gal Gadot. She’s got Wonder Woman action figures made in her likeness, for crying out loud.
All that to say, I think we can feel confident in dubbing Carter a Wonder Woman expert. She’s certainly poured a lot of heart and passion into the role over the years, and fans love her for it.
To kick off Pride Month for 2022, Carter tweeted a variant Wonder Woman comic book cover created by artist Paulina Ganucheau, which was released the previous year. The cover depicts the Amazon warrior smiling while brandishing her signature golden Lasso of Truth in front of a vibrant rainbow backdrop.
The sweet moment was cut rather short after someone commented, in all caps no less, that “Wonder Woman IS NOT A SUPER HERO FOR GAYS.”
In true Wonder Woman fashion, Carter was quick with a defensive comeback.
Carter replied, “You’re right. She’s a superhero for bisexuals!”
She attached a 2016 Polygon article where Greg Rucka, a major writer for the contemporary Wonder Woman comics, confirmed that Diana is, without a doubt, canonically queer. He added that considering the entire island of Themyscira where Diana lives was filled with only other Amazons for centuries upon centuries, “it makes no logical sense otherwise.”
Objectively, even the original conception of Wonder Woman had LGBTQ+ roots. When William Moulton Marston created her in 1941, she was inspired by both his wife Elizabeth and their polyamorous partner Olivia Byrne. Their story was depicted in the 2017 film “Professor Marston and the Wonder Women,” starring Luke Evans, Rebecca Hall and Bella Heathcote.
Carter later posted: 'I didn't write Wonder Woman, but if you want to argue that she is somehow not a queer or trans icon, then you're not paying attention.”
She also shared the the importance of keeping the character a queer icon so that others can be empowered to express themselves authentically. “Every time someone comes up to me and says that WW helped them while they were closeted, it reminds me how special the role is,” she wrote.
She then posted a photo from her Wonder Woman TV show days along with the caption: “Love seeing all the love from LGBTQ+ fans today! Now here’s one I’d like to call the ‘ready to fight your homophobic relatives’ pose. Just kidding. (Or am I)?”
This was followed by encouraging others to support LGBTQ organizations such as Trans Lifeline, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project and PFLAG, which is geared specifically toward parents and families.
You know what they say … not all heroes wear capes. But they do all fight for humanity in their own way. Carter might have retired her magical tiara, but she’s still a queen.