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“A balm for the soul”
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upworthy

Loving her body hasn't just been good for her soul, it's key to her career.

It's a real joy to hear her talk — even about the hard stuff.

Naomi Shimada is an exciting fashion model, but she's also a worthy role model.

Naomi was born in Tokyo, but she moved to the south of Spain when she was 11. (Her dad was a visionary vintage-clothing entrepreneur. No big deal.)

Then, at age 13, she was scouted by a modeling agency. Things started out well for the tall and lanky girl, and she moved to London.

But her body quickly started changing — which, for a teenager, it's supposed to! As she put on weight and curves, she was told to get skinny again. When she spent time with friends, Naomi found herself only talking about her weight and food.

She left modeling and focused on school and music for a while, but when she got back into it, the pressure to be thinner was there all over again. She gave dieting a try, and it really wasn't for her.

"I never wanted to be that girl," she says in the video interview below with StyleLikeU. "I was suppressing my soul."

"I never wanted to be that girl."

But in the world of so-called "plus-size" modeling, she gets to be exactly who she is.

Dieting was depressing. (No surprise there.) Luckily, she never has to go back there. "I would never want to be smaller again," she says.

Naomi's all the wiser for her struggle.

Here are some of her thoughts, which are words for anyone to live by.

Photos of smiling models can sometimes be deceiving, but Naomi's not just posing as a confident woman who's figured some things out for herself: She's really done it.

Check out how sincere and joyful she is in this conversation with StyleLikeU:

Modern Families

Fed up parents explain why they 'never want to bring the kids over' to visit

Can't you guys come to us for once?

Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash

It's a good news/bad news situation for parents of young kids.

The good news? Everyone wants to spend time with the kids! Grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends. They all want a relationship and lots of special moments with the little ones.

The bad news? One phrase:

"When are you bringing them over?"

Parents have been frustrated by the expectations of orchestrating stressful visits for generations — loading the kids in a car or on an airplane only to spend hours chasing them around in an un-baby-proofed environment and watching routines go to hell.

Now they're sounding off on social media and airing their grievances.

Why visiting grandparents and other relatives is so challenging for parents

A mom recently took to Reddit to vent about everyone in her life wanting her to "bring the kids to them."

"My parents live 30 mins away and always bug me about not coming to visit them," she writes. They constantly ask, "Why don't you bring our granddaughter to come see us?"

The fascinating discussion highlights a few things that make arranging visits with young kids a potential nightmare for parents.

Grandparents' houses are rarely childproofed

Grandparents love their breakable decor! Ceramic doo-dads, glass vases everywhere. They can't get enough. And while they should be able to decorate their house however they see fit (they've earned the right!) that doesn't make it a good environment for toddlers and babies.

Ceramic bowlsThe breakable decor found in every grandparents' houseozalee.fr/Flickr

"Last week was the last straw, I took my daughter to my parents and of course she went EVERYWHERE! flooded their toilet, broke a vase, and tried multiple times to climb their furniture," the Reddit mom writes.

Parents in a foreign environment are on constant safety duty and can rarely sit down

Let's be honest. Sometimes these "visits" are hardly worth the effort. After all, it's hard to get much catch up time when you're dutifully chasing your kid around.

"They don’t understand that my 3 yo ... is absolutely wild," writes another user in the thread. "She has no self preservation and nothing we do works. She doesn’t listen, she throws, she bites, she refuses to use the potty. It’s exhausting and then ... they expect us to entertain them, when I’m trying to just keep my kid from jumping off the stairs and into an ER visit."

Even just putting the kids in the car for a 20-minute drive is more work than it seems

Taking the kids out of the house requires packing a bag, bringing extra clothes, loading up on snacks, etc.

It seems easy to "pop over" but it actually absorbs the majority of the day between prep, visit, and aftermath.

Naps and routines go to hell

Parents with babies and toddlers know all too well — there is a price to pay for taking the kids out of the house for too long.

Chances are, the baby won't nap in a strange environment and then you're stuck with a cranky kid the rest of the night.

Kids with special needs require even more consistency

Kids with autism or ADHD can really struggle outside of their zone of safety. They might become severely dysregulated, have meltdowns, or engage in dangerous behaviors.

Explaining and mediating the generational divide

man in gray sweater sitting beside woman in black and white floral long sleeve shirt Photo by Tim Kilby on Unsplash

Why is this a conflict almost all parents can relate to?

Is this a Boomer vs Millennials thing?

Some experts think that generational values and traditions might play a role.

"Many Boomers were accustomed to more traditional, hierarchical family dynamics, where visiting grandparents was a way for the younger generation to show respect," says Caitlin Slavens, a family psychologist.

But that's not to say this is a new problem. I can remember my own parents driving me and my brothers over an hour to visit my grandparents seemingly every other weekend, but very few occasions where they came to visit us. It must have driven my parents nuts back then!

Plus, it's easy to forget that it's hard for older people to travel, too. They may have their own issues and discomforts when it comes to being away from their home.

"But for today’s parents, balancing careers, kids’ routines, and the demands of modern parenting is a much bigger undertaking. Grandparents might not always see how childproofing their space or making the trip themselves could make a huge difference, especially considering how travel and disruption can impact younger kids' moods and routines," Slavens says.

"So yes, this divide often comes down to different expectations and life experiences, with older generations potentially not seeing the daily demands modern families face."

Is there any hope for parents and grandparents coming to a better understanding, or a compromise?

"First, open conversations help bridge the divide—explain how much of a difference it makes when the kids stay in a familiar space, especially when they’re very young," suggests Slavens.

"Share practical details about the challenges, like childproofing concerns or travel expenses, to help grandparents see it from a parent’s perspective. You might even work together to figure out solutions, like making adjustments to create a more child-friendly space in their home or agreeing on a shared travel plan."

Ultimately, it's a good thing when grandparents, friends, and other relatives want to see the kids.

We all have the same goal.

"It’s helpful to approach the topic with empathy, focusing on everyone’s goal: more quality time together that’s enjoyable and low-stress for everyone involved. For parents, it’s about setting boundaries that work, and for grandparents, it’s about recognizing that flexibility can really show the parents that you are ... willing to make adjustments for their children and grandchildren."

Enjoyable, low-stress quality time — that's something everyone can get behind.

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Joy

Retired San Francisco couple moves to France, finds ‘too much grief’ in land of wine and cheese

Turns out, even with your cat in tow, expat life can leave a lot to be desired.

RM21 at Dutch Wikipedia

One hopes that this representative image of a cat in a shipping box is not an accurate depiction of Suzette's adventure.

When circumstances drive you to leave the land of your birth to try and make it in a new country, there are important and daunting challenges. These include finding housing, arranging for medical needs, and procuring a good piece of celery that doesn't wilt over sadly when you hold it up. Martinis will also factor heavily in your mind.

Joanna McIsaac-Kierklo, 74, and her husband Ed Kierklo, 75, had a retirement dream: leave San Francisco with their Birmin cat Suzette and start fresh in the charming streets of France. They wanted the “bon vivant” life. A year later, they’re waving the white flag and booking a ticket back to California with a list of complaints that reads more like a parody of expat privilege than actual hardship.

“I miss frozen yogurt… I miss my friends… I miss my apartment.”

— Joanna McIsaac-Kierklo

The French dream that came after the English dream

For Joanna and Ed, who retired from lucrative careers and traveled the world extensively, picking up and moving wasn’t new. In the waning days of the pandemic, they leveraged the equity in their California home, got themselves vaccinated, and gave life in London a chance. They didn't go alone, though. Their Birmin cat, Suzette, came too, to the tune of over $4,000. That adventure lasted 11 months before they came home. No word on what Suzette's return ticket cost.

It wasn’t long before they dreamt of Europe again, this time to stay. They imagined a life full of baguettes, wine, and village charm. So, back into the carrier went Suzette, this time for an extra $5,000. But after arriving in Nîmes, a quaint city in Southern France, Joanna and Ed quickly found expat life wasn’t the vacation they’d pictured. “Every single day it was something more devastating than the day before,” Joanna told CNN.

An aerial view of N\u00eemes, France.The lovely city of Nîmes, in Southern France, where we're told the celery leaves something to be desired. Ymblanter

French cuisine is celebrated, but Joanna quickly grew disenchanted. “People go, ‘Oh my god, the French food is so fabulous,’” she said. “Yeah, if you want to eat brie, pâté, pastries, and French bread all day long… but who eats like that?” Seeking fresher options, she turned to the market. “You pick up a piece of celery, and it falls over,” she complained, decrying the “limp” state of French greens.

“We gave it a year here. And we just said, ‘Too much grief and no joy.’ There’s no fun. We’re struggling every day.”

— Joanna McIsaac-Kierklo

The couple’s frustration reached a boiling point. Between government paperwork, language barriers, and their limited French, Joanna and Ed felt a world away from the lifestyle they’d imagined. “I honestly don’t think we could have put in any more effort to acclimatize to the French way of life,” she said.

Friends? Oui. Friendships? Not so much.

Adjusting to a new social scene in France was another challenge. Used to the easy-going connections of San Francisco, Joanna found French locals polite but reserved. “I haven’t talked to one person here in three months,” she admitted. “They’re nice people,” she said, “but they’re also very private. It’s a hard shell to break.”

via GIPHY

They’d left home to find community and new perspectives, only to feel more isolated as time wore on.

The retirement dream doesn’t always go as planned

Joanna and Ed aren’t alone in their struggles. For Kate and Dan Morse, a dream retirement in Portugal turned unexpectedly complicated, despite careful planning. They made it three years before returning to the U.S., realizing that expat life came with unique challenges, even in a beautiful location.

“It's not as easy to be an expat in Portugal as people seem to think,” said Kate Morse, 71. While the couple loved Portugal’s natural beauty, affordability, and rich history, they found it difficult to navigate banking, healthcare, and local customs without fluency in Portuguese.

"When you can’t defend yourself and make yourself understood, you’re vulnerable."

— Kate Morse

Although they’d learned some Portuguese, communicating in a crisis—or even managing their finances—was frustrating without native-level skills.

The Morses’ experience highlights that, for many would-be expats, adjusting to a new culture can mean confronting unexpected limitations and reconsidering priorities. Like Joanna and Ed, they realized that sometimes, the comforts of home and a supportive community make all the difference.

Au revoir, French fantasy—hello, Plan B

Unlike many immigrants, Joanna and Ed had a fallback. Learning from their London experience, they held onto a rent-controlled apartment in San Francisco. Now, after a year overseas, it’s time to head home. “You’ve got to have a Plan B,” Joanna said.

Looking back, Joanna has no regrets about trying life in France. But she reminds would-be expats that the basics—good produce, friends, and familiar comforts—can be easier to come by back home.

“Moving to France for a slower life sounds wonderful,” she said, “but we learned the not-so-pleasant side very quickly.”

No word yet on what Suzette's trip home will cost.

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Popular

A seemingly simple Final Jeopardy question stumped all three contestants in 1984

It was only Alex Trebek's second day on the job when all three contestants gave the same wrong answer and all ended up with $0 .

Representative photo by Rosemaryetoufee

"Jeopardy!" is one of the most popular trivia shows in the world.

The popular game show "Jeopardy!" originated in 1964, and for six decades it has stumped contestants and viewers with tough trivia questions and answers (or answers and questions, to be more accurate). Competing on "Jeopardy!" is practically synonymous with being a smartypants, and champions win lifelong bragging rights along with whatever monetary winnings they end up taking home.

To win "Jeopardy!," you place a wager in the Final Jeopardy round with whatever money you've collected through the first two rounds. All three contestants write down their wagers based solely on the category given, then they have 30 seconds to write down the question for the same answer after it's revealed. Very rarely do all three contestants get the Final Jeopardy wrong.

But in 1984, on Alex Trebek's second day hosting the show, a deceptively simple Final Jeopardy answer answer resulted in all three contestants making the same wrong guess and ending the round with $0 each.

The category was "The Calendar," and after the contestants placed their bets, the answer was revealed: "Calendar date with which the 20th century began."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The 20th century was the 1900s, as most of us are aware, and all three contestants wrote down identical responses: "What is January 1, 1900?" But they were all incorrect. And unfortunately, all three had wagered their entire amount, leaving them with nothing across the board.

"Oh, I don't believe it!" exclaimed one of the contestants as they all laughed at the absurdity. "I'm at a loss for words," said Trebek.

A member of the audience asked what the correct answer–or question— was, and Trebek shared that the correct response would have been "What is January 1, 1901?"

If that seems confusing, it's probably because we all made a huge deal about the year 2000, marking it as the end of the 21st century as well as the turn of the millennium. But basically, we were wrong. Some people did point it out at the time, but the excitement and momentum of celebrating Y2K had us all in a frenzy and no one was going to wait until January 1, 2001 to celebrate the new millennium.

Why should we have? It all comes down to the fact that in the Gregorian calendar the first year wasn't 0 A.D., it was 1 A.D. The first century spanned from 1 to 100 A.D., the second century from 101 to 200 A.D. and so on, leading up to the 20th century officially being from 1901 to 2000. So January 1, 1901 is actually the date that the 20th century began, despite how unituitive it feels.

To be fair, you'd think a "Jeopardy!" contestant might recognize that the question seemed awfully simple for a Final Jeopardy round, but only having 30 seconds to think under pressure is tough. And it's not like these people lived in the internet era where random trivia questions like this regularly go viral, making us more aware of them. And this episode aired over a decade before the "Seinfeld" episode where Jerry explains the "no year zero" thing to Newman, who had planned a millennium party.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

As one person pointed out, the calendar answer is technically correct, but it's not the way the average person thinks of centuries, just as a tomato is technically fruit but the average person thinks of it (and uses it) as a vegetable. Even though there were some sticklers about the year 2000, most of us just went along with seeing it as the turn of the millennium because it felt like that's how it should be. It's kind of wild how most of us can think of something incorrectly but we just sort of collectively accept our wrongness about it.

The 1984 episode has been making the viral rounds, prompting people to share how much they miss Alex Trebek. The beloved, long-time "Jeopardy!" host died in 2020 at age 80 after a 20-month battle with pancreatic cancer. He worked up until the point where he couldn't anymore, even while undergoing chemotherapy. His final episode included a touching tribute honoring his 37 seasons with the game show, the end of an illustrious and iconic era.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

trivia
Family

Busy mom overcome with emotion when elderly man says the perfect thing to her

He chose positivity and it made all the difference.

via Canva/Photos

A happy mother and her smiling child.

Parents of newborns know they are in the middle of a joyous and stressful era. But far too often, the people they run into choose to frame things negatively when talking to them about their young child. They’ll say things like, “Don’t worry, it gets better” or “Boy, do you have your hands full.”

That’s why Steph Morrison's video on TikTok touched so many hearts. It’s about the fantastic things that can happen when people choose to see things in a positive light instead of a negative one.

“The sweetest thing just happened,” Morrison begins in her video. “I was just finishing my walk and we were just pulling down our street and this old man, he stopped so we could walk by because we’ve got the double-wide stroller that takes up the whole space, and he goes ‘Wow! You’re going to have a lot of fun.’"

The comment blindsided Morrison because it reframed how she looks at being a parent.

@_stephmorrison_

I never would have guessed what the man would say nor did I ever predict tears would roll down my face like they did. Thankful for this sweet glimmer from God 🫶🏼✨ #momspiration #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #quotesforyou #momquotes #postpartumjourney #postpartumlife #happywords #happinessbegins #creatorsearchinsights

“I don’t know why I’m getting emotional telling you now. But most people say, ‘You’ve got your hands full’ and it’s my biggest pet peeve, but he was so sweet and I could, like, see the memories flash through his eyeballs as he said that to me: ‘You’re going to have a lot of fun.’”

“Like, dang! That’s the type of vibe and energy I’m going to bring to motherhood,” she continued. “I was having a really great time with the kids already, so I don’t know why I’m crying while telling you this. But if you’re a mother out there, I hope you’re having a lot of fun, too, because why not?”

Everyone knows that parenting can be hard. But it’s also filled with joy, laughter, hope, possibilities and new experiences. The elderly man’s comments were a great reminder to Morrison and her followers to focus on the joy and possibilities of being a parent instead of the challenges and hard work.



The video struck a chord with mothers in the comments who shared similar experiences.

“An older man in the grocery store stopped me when my son was 8 months old and said, ‘Young enough to still talk to the angels, put in a good word for me!’” Rachel wrote. “My only son is 7 months old. I can’t have any more kids due to life-threatening complications at birth. The other day, a man said to me, ‘He gets to have you all to himself. Isn’t that so special?’” Happy_Gilmoree added.

CaitlinPrice25 hit the nail on the head. “Society makes us feel like kids are a burden,” she wrote. “Just a little change of perspective can make all the difference.”

A positive mindset can make life much easier for parents, but it’s also great for their children. Children look to their parents and model their behavior; those with a positive attitude are likely to raise happy, optimistic children. “A mother’s ability to model positivity becomes a powerful tool in shaping a child’s character, fostering qualities such as kindness, compassion, and a positive outlook on life,” The Motherhood Center in Houston, Texas, writes.

The story also reminds everyone, whether they are parents or not, of the importance of leading with positivity when dealing with others. The man could have said something cliché such as “I hope you’re getting enough sleep,” but instead, he reminded Morrison of the joy of parenting, and she made his remark her north star. That’s the power of positivity.

From Your Site Articles
motherhood

Communication coach shares 7 ways to get out of a conversation without being awkward or rude

For many folks, figuring out how to end a conversation is even harder than starting one.

Photo credit: Canva

It's not always easy to ease your way out of a conversation.

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation you don't really want to be in anymore? Maybe the conversation's gone on too long or the person has you cornered or you just genuinely don't have time to keep talking with them?

For some people, figuring out how to end a conversation without being rude or making it awkward is a challenge. Social etiquette is not always intuitive, and while some seem to to effortlessly navigate all kinds of social situations, many of us struggle with certain aspects of socializing. Most people might assume that starting a conversation is the hardest thing, but ending one can be equally or more challenging. You can't just suddenly say, "Okay, bye," without warning, but that transition between conversing and leaving doesn't always happen naturally.

Thankfully, communication coach Alexander Lyon has offered 7 clear ways to wrap up a conversation politely to help those who need a little help.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Here's what he suggests:

1. End on your turn

Every conversation is a back-and-forth, with people taking turns talking. Interrupting the other person to say you need to go can come across as rude, so make sure you plan to end the conversation when you're already talking. "All the rest of the tips flow from this concept," Lyon says.

2. State a time limit

This can come at any point in the conversation. If you're talking to someone you know might drag it out, it might be good to place it at the beginning of the conversation: "Hey Steve, I've got about five minutes. What's up?" That way they know the conversation time is going to be limited from the get go. You can also drop the time when you're ready to wrap up: "I only have one minute before I have to go, so let me finish with this thought." That way the person knows the conversation is coming to a close.

3. Start packing up

Those who feel awkward about ending a conversation might feel like it's awkward to start gathering your things before the conversation is concluded. But it's a normal thing to signal through behavior, and packing up signals to the other person that you're ready to end the conversation.

"You start putting things in your bag. You get your keys out. You put your coat on. This shows them oh something's changing here. Alex is about to leave." Lyon says these are non-verbal actions are called leave-taking behaviors. "This is what we all do naturally when we're about to go and so these cues are really known and powerful to most people. They will pick up on them," he says.

4. Say you've gotta go

This might seem obvious, but Lyon assures us that that's exactly why it works. "You have to use phrases that they're used to hearing like 'I've gotta run,' 'I've got to get going,'" he says. "Those are phrases that signal, once again, that you're going to go. A lot of times people even feel like just saying that feels rude. But I assure you these are just common phrases that, wrapped into the other tips, they're going to understand that this means you're going to go."


via GIPHY

5. Tell them what's next

Share what you're going to be doing after the conversation. "If you say things like, 'I have a meeting to go to' or 'I have some projects that I've got to get back on' or 'I'm a little behind on some work,' then they'll know that, 'Oh he's not just abandoning the conversation because he doesn't like me. He's going because he has something else to do,'" explains Lyon. You don't have to be super specific, just clear and concise.

6. Insert polite pleasantries

This is where you say things like, "It was so great catching up!" or "I hope we get to chat again soon," or "I'm so happy we got a chance to talk," to indicate that it's time to move on but you've enjoyed the conversation. Lyon shares that these kinds of statements signal to the person that the conversation is coming to a close and are such a normal part of interactions that the person will understand what they mean.

7. Apologize and repeat any of the above, if necessary

If the person is really holding on and not taking the hint, say something like, "So sorry, I really have to get going, but it was so lovely to chat with you," or something similar. "A lot of times people need that little extra reinforcement toward the end," Lyon says. He says you don't want to drag the apology or make a big deal out of it—just a quick, "Sorry, but I gotta go," or "I apologize, but I'm running late," will do. "It doesn't mean you've actually done something wrong that you need to apologize for. It's just a way once again to signal that you're trying to be respectful to that person," Lyon explains.

Even if some of these tips feel awkward or rude, Lyon assures us that they aren't. People with social anxieties can often overthink interactions, so having such reassurances can be helpful. Courtesy in conversation is one of the ways we maintain social connections, so learning how to politely end a conversation is a valuable skill.

You can follow Communication Coach Alexander Lyon on YouTube.

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